NationStates Jolt Archive

I feel like ever since this baby o'mine arrived some 6 months ago and I became a father, my ability to concentrate and to actually form intelligent opinions has decreased significantly. I have flutterings of brain activity and can pretty much remember stances I held pre-baby - drilling for oil in Alaska = bad; remember to vote for Obama; don't mix ammonia and bleach. Has anybody else felt this way that have had kids? Does it go away? Am I alone with my stupid?

I don't have kids, but I wonder if it could be a sleep deprivation sort of thing. I've heard that babies get all cry-ey at inappropriate times of the night sometimes and this involves getting up and checking and all this... and I know a thing or two about sleep deprivation and one of those things is that it can make a person a bit stupid (and/or cranky). Take a nap next time the kid is down for one, this might help.

You're overloaded with a lot of extra worries now, and parents become hyperalert to the slightest peep their new infant makes. You're probably not sleeping as well as you did.

I would suggest trying, if possible, for you and your lovely lady to get away and relax, even if only for a couple hours of dinner out. Try to set some time aside for each of you to have quiet time -- even if it's you taking care of the baby while she reads a chapter of a novel and then her taking care of the baby long enough for you to do something you find relaxing. Your brain cells may start firing the way you remember them doing if you each can make time for the other to relax, if only for a half hour at a time.

Do you not know where sperm comes from? Old brain cells, silly.

I don't have kids, but I wonder if it could be a sleep deprivation sort of thing. I've heard that babies get all cry-ey at inappropriate times of the night sometimes and this involves getting up and checking and all this... and I know a thing or two about sleep deprivation and one of those things is that it can make a person a bit stupid (and/or cranky). Take a nap next time the kid is down for one, this might help.

I'm certain that sleep deprivation is part of it but I'm not sure that it accounts for the totality and I think that is what frightens me.

I feel like ever since this baby o'mine arrived some 6 months ago and I became a father, my ability to concentrate and to actually form intelligent opinions has decreased significantly. I have flutterings of brain activity and can pretty much remember stances I held pre-baby - drilling for oil in Alaska = bad; remember to vote for Obama; don't mix ammonia and bleach. Has anybody else felt this way that have had kids? Does it go away? Am I alone with my stupid?

I've had three kids and look how I turned out. :D

I'm certain that sleep deprivation is part of it but I'm not sure that it accounts for the totality and I think that is what frightens me.

A lot of your brain is still probably focused on worry for the baby too. Maybe it's just that your brain suddenly shifted focus on you and you didn't see it coming? I can see how that might feel like a rug getting pulled out from under you.

LG's a cautionary tale

I feel like ever since this baby o'mine arrived some 6 months ago and I became a father, my ability to concentrate and to actually form intelligent opinions has decreased significantly. I have flutterings of brain activity and can pretty much remember stances I held pre-baby - drilling for oil in Alaska = bad; remember to vote for Obama; don't mix ammonia and bleach. Has anybody else felt this way that have had kids? Does it go away? Am I alone with my stupid?

I call it mom brain, but you can go ahead and call it father brain. It is because all of a sudden you are being interupted constantly and insistently either by the actual physical presence of your offspring, or by your own mental processes that end up focusing on said offspring. Now you know what it's like to have ADD. Your ability to concentrate for more than a few minutes at a time on something is significantly impaired, and your overall focus has shifted towards the well-being of this life that is now utterly dependent upon you.

It gets...better as they get older. It does not really go away, unless they go away. To school and such. Once they're back in your vicinity, mom/father-brain pops back up. You will abandon conversations mid-sentence and never be able to pick the thread back up. You will leave a dozen chores half finished and forgotten. You will constantly be forgetting items at the grocery store, or in your home on your way out.

It's okay. Kids actually do turn your brain to mush....but there is a cure. It's called kicking their asses out on their 18th birthday.

I don't have kids:eek:
The line starts *here* for donors? ;)

I feel like ever since this baby o'mine arrived some 6 months ago and I became a father, my ability to concentrate and to actually form intelligent opinions has decreased significantly. I have flutterings of brain activity and can pretty much remember stances I held pre-baby - drilling for oil in Alaska = bad; remember to vote for Obama; don't mix ammonia and bleach. Has anybody else felt this way that have had kids? Does it go away? Am I alone with my stupid?
Mon capitan, you are
NOT
alone with your stupid.
Remember, i gots double the mint there.
*consoles*

Do you not know where sperm comes from?

"How is babby formed" ?

"How is babby formed" ?
Methinks it gots something to do with eggs.
http://www.metroactive.com/papers/metro/04.24.97/gifs/pink-flamingos2-9717.jpg

When my twin brothers were born, my parents both said that they had so much on their minds and they were so busy that they call the years of their infancy "The Grey Years". They remember almost nothing. I've spoken with them about it, and it was agreed that neither of them was able to hold a thought beyond survival instinct and pure reactionism, and that intelligent thoughts were often fleeting.

Best of luck!

When my twin brothers were born, my parents both said that they had so much on their minds and they were so busy that they call the years of their infancy "The Grey Years". They remember almost nothing. I've spoken with them about it, and it was agreed that neither of them was able to hold a thought beyond survival instinct and pure reactionism, and that intelligent thoughts were often fleeting.

Best of luck!That bolded part, boy howdy.
I'll also add that the chemicals for long-lasting memories seem to be in short supply due the situation.

In moms it's a combination of sleep-deprivation, brain-function destroying mommy hormones and deep-seated anger at dad for saddling her with this. I don't know if dads have daddy hormones that shut down brain function. Although I would suspect that if dads have sympathetic pregnancies, they might have sympathetic post-partum issues, too.

I know that as my kids got older my intelligence returned. Can't say the same for my ex, though.

:eek:
The line starts *here* for donors? ;)
I'm not even 25 and a grad student... I lack the means and desire for a kid at the moment and have plenty of time to do it later.

I'm not even 25 and a grad student... I lack the means and desire for a kid at the moment and have plenty of time to do it later.
True, true, as well you should.
It was a sophomoric attempt on my part to flirt.

Everyone has been alternately kind, scary and flirtatious with others - thank you. Now, where did I put my frying pan? I mean, my keys. Wait - my wife has the car. So, I guess I'll take the baby for a ride to the grocery store. I think somebody stole my car!

I've had three kids and look how I turned out. :DAlways know that though LG might be insane his a goold isane. While, I am a bad kind of insane.

*Releases hordes of baby Vikings upon all NSGers.*

When Lunatic Goofballs states that he had three kids, I know he's referring to his fatherhood. I really do. Still I couldn't help but think of it as a cannibalistic remark.

<snip>I would suggest trying, if possible, for you and your lovely lady to get away and relax, even if only for a couple hours of dinner out. Try to set some time aside for each of you to have quiet time -- even if it's you taking care of the baby while she reads a chapter of a novel <snip>

^This.

If you're doing your share of the work, you're getting your share of the exhaustion and mad emotions. Take the stupids as a badge of honour: proof that you haven't left your wife to bear the whole burden (and ye gods, it is a burden, even if it's one you willingly accepted).

The blurring of events really does happen (survival mechanism?), and you may regret it later when your kids ask you about significant parts of their lives. So try to go over the "stories" of your baby's life with each other -- "remember when he first smiled, how you were (doing whatever)". It sets the memories. Damn the kitsch, full speed ahead!

And cheer up, the real world comes back gradually. It sort of parallels the kid's growing independence: first you get back to noticing the neighbourhood, then you become more aware of the city, then your awareness expands to how state, national and international events are going to affect The Kid, and suddenly you're a world citizen again.

I feel like ever since this baby o'mine arrived some 6 months ago and I became a father, my ability to concentrate and to actually form intelligent opinions has decreased significantly. I have flutterings of brain activity and can pretty much remember stances I held pre-baby - drilling for oil in Alaska = bad; remember to vote for Obama; don't mix ammonia and bleach. Has anybody else felt this way that have had kids? Does it go away? Am I alone with my stupid?

My son was born just over two weeks ago, my first child.

As for my capacity (at least least in a comparative sense) to form or address lucid views and expressions, I have suspended those mental engines to better concentrate on removing the endless supply of human poop that appears to my son's primary enthusiasm.

When Lunatic Goofballs states that he had three kids, I know he's referring to his fatherhood. I really do. Still I couldn't help but think of it as a cannibalistic remark.

Well, the premise need not be dysjunctive....

My son was born just over two weeks ago, my first child.

As for my capacity (at least least in a comparative sense) to form or address lucid views and expressions, I have suspended those mental engines to better concentrate on removing the endless supply of human poop that appears to my son's primary enthusiasm.
congratulations!

its not all poop, they eat too.

Well, the premise need not be dysjunctive....


You're telling us that LG is Chronos?

(Though, considering the effects that Time has had on me, it's quite possible he's a clown.)

BTW, congratulations.

As everyone else has said, you're not alone. My son is one now and I've noticed that my ability to have an intelligent conversation has gone by way of the dodo as I keep slipping into the baby talk babble I do with him.

It's true, my daughter is 13 years old and I still have this problem. I'm pretty sure that now it is stemmed from arguments that make no sense and contain the word "like" alot. So, like, yeah, I'm like stupid in my head too.

I feel like ever since this baby o'mine arrived some 6 months ago and I became a father, my ability to concentrate and to actually form intelligent opinions has decreased significantly. I have flutterings of brain activity and can pretty much remember stances I held pre-baby - drilling for oil in Alaska = bad; remember to vote for Obama; don't mix ammonia and bleach. Has anybody else felt this way that have had kids? Does it go away? Am I alone with my stupid?

Nope it never goes, having kids changes you.

So it's true that once you have children, you stop being who you were and start becoming a parent? Man, that's scary!

So it's true that once you have children, you stop being who you were and start becoming a parent? Man, that's scary!

Less becoming a parent than becoming your parents from what I've noticed.

I feel like ever since this baby o'mine arrived some 6 months ago and I became a father, my ability to concentrate and to actually form intelligent opinions has decreased significantly. I have flutterings of brain activity and can pretty much remember stances I held pre-baby - drilling for oil in Alaska = bad; remember to vote for Obama; don't mix ammonia and bleach. Has anybody else felt this way that have had kids? Does it go away? Am I alone with my stupid?
You never regain your prior intelligence level. Stress, lack of sleep, and general rundowness (that's totally a word!) is part and parcel of parenting. (whoo! I'm alliterate!)

It gets better once the kids get to the point that they are somewhat independent. However I don't think you really get any sanity back at the house until they leave. I'm beginning to think that this more than maturity is why you think your parents are smart when you get to be about 30......the longer you are gone the less of their intelligence is being sucked away by having to take care of you.