NationStates Jolt Archive


How should I whup yo ass?

DrunkenDove
22-09-2008, 18:30
I've sadly had to move home in the last few weeks, and thus leave my beloved ju-jitsu and capeoia classes behind me. I still fear ninja attack, and have searched around my new home for new styles of martial arts to learn. I've discovered dojos for Aikido, Judo, Karate, Muay Thai and Tae Kwon Do.

Which do ye think I should learn? Any advise from practitioners of the above arts would be greatly appreciated.
Cannot think of a name
22-09-2008, 18:51
Well, if it's "usefulness"...which honestly I kind of mock, I'd say Muay Thai, since it's essentially boxing and more translatable outside the dojo. If, however, you choose like I do based almost entirely on aesthetics I would say that of those I think Aikido looks the coolest, though if you're tall and lanky that arms up shin kick stuff actually looks pretty cool in Muay Thai.

But I'm almost 40 (god that makes me sad...), live in poor neighborhoods, and can be loud and never, ever, ever, ever had to fight someone. Ever. So martial arts to me is dancing with punches. Let that color my advice appropriately.
The Parkus Empire
22-09-2008, 18:53
Classical fencing.
Yootopia
22-09-2008, 19:39
Which do ye think I should learn? Any advise from practitioners of the above arts would be greatly appreciated.
None of the above, Aikido is lame on the whole, and if you're even remotely short and tubby, none of the others are even remotely a good idea.

Instead, you should do something sensible like, eh, playing badminton in the time you would have used to do martial arts to give yourself the false impression that if ninjas were attacking your house you might live.
Andaluciae
22-09-2008, 19:41
Drunken psychosis.

With pool cue as your primary staff-type weapon.
Potarius
22-09-2008, 19:41
Instead, you should do something sensible like, eh, playing badminton in the time you would have used to do martial arts to give yourself the false impression that if ninjas were attacking your house you might live.

Badminton? Pff, he should take up wiffle tennis.
Yootopia
22-09-2008, 19:42
Badminton? Pff, he should take up wiffle tennis.
Or swingball?
H N Fiddlebottoms VIII
22-09-2008, 20:34
I'd go with Judo, because grappling was always my favorite part of Karate. I love the feeling of my feet leaving the ground while the walls spin like crazy and, hey is that the floor rushi- OW!
Sure, they always say stuff like "break your fall," but it's more like "break your wrist in addition to getting the same nasty bruise on your shoulder you would have gotten anyway."

Just remember that all the complicated stuff (especially those silly holds) is only slightly more effective than wetting yourself. The only good defense is a knee in the other guys groin and a thumb in each of his eye sockets.
Lunatic Goofballs
22-09-2008, 21:17
You could try Clown Fu: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bksiiivwTLA
Riopo
22-09-2008, 21:29
Carrot with tea. (Karate).
DrunkenDove
22-09-2008, 21:40
Well, if it's "usefulness"...which honestly I kind of mock, I'd say Muay Thai, since it's essentially boxing and more translatable outside the dojo.

Aye, chances are that when some malevolent force comes to lay the smackdown, it's going to be in the "gang of five youths with baseball bats" flavor, and the only defense most martial artists have against that is bruce lee's less well known "curl up in a ball and cry" techniques. I study martial arts for exercise and fun, not because I want to be doing double backflips while beating twenty badguys in the street.

If, however, you choose like I do based almost entirely on aesthetics I would say that of those I think Aikido looks the coolest, though if you're tall and lanky that arms up shin kick stuff actually looks pretty cool in Muay Thai.

Excellent, for I am considerably more vertically gifted than my fellows.

Classical fencing.

Already way ahead of you.

Badminton? Pff, he should take up wiffle tennis.

I don't think I could handle the raw power.
The One Eyed Weasel
23-09-2008, 07:33
Drunken psychosis.

With pool cue as your primary staff-type weapon.

+1

Funny you should say that, practiced this the other night.
Neu Leonstein
23-09-2008, 07:51
I do Shukokai Karate. It's pretty much what you'd expect: a variety of punches and kicks, stances and the occasional take-down applying some sort of lock or attack on the joints.

I'm enjoying it, but I've had no previous martial arts experience. It gives a good grounding in pretty much all the directions one could go (except the wrestling on the ground, for that Judo or Brazilian jiu-jitsu are best), so once you know your stuff in karate you'll be able to quickly get into any other thing you set your mind to.
Adunabar
23-09-2008, 08:53
Muay Thai. It's the most practical.
Kyronea
23-09-2008, 10:01
I've sadly had to move home in the last few weeks, and thus leave my beloved ju-jitsu and capeoia classes behind me. I still fear ninja attack, and have searched around my new home for new styles of martial arts to learn. I've discovered dojos for Aikido, Judo, Karate, Muay Thai and Tae Kwon Do.

Which do ye think I should learn? Any advise from practitioners of the above arts would be greatly appreciated.

Whatever you do, please be gentle...

Seriously though, I personally suggest Aikido. Self-defense plus avoiding actually hurting your attacker beyond what's absolutely necessary? Best idea yet!
Ifreann
23-09-2008, 10:26
Make up your own martial art and call it NSG Fu
Rambhutan
23-09-2008, 10:49
DrunkenDove
DrunkenDove
23-09-2008, 16:02
Make up your own martial art and call it NSG Fu

I already have one. I call it Kung-pow! Deadly, yet tasty.

DrunkenDove

Win.