NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm about to go through one. My cat has cancer and, it appears, that it has nearly spread to her lungs. Her breathing has quickened over the last few weeks, and recently, she's stopped eating. So, my parents and I have decided to have her euthanized today, in about two hours, so that she won't have to go through the effects of the cancer finally reaching her lungs.

It's a bittersweet moment, as I'm about to help my pet and hurt my pet at the same time. This, however, isn't the problem - it's how to deal with it.

I am asking how one deals with such an event without suffering too much emotionally. I'm sure some of you have gone through the same thing, whether it be a pet or a person, so I figure asking could be a small help...

I buried my dog in the back yard, Bullitt. He was always happy there. It was over a year ago and I still miss him.
The vet's injection is the only way for your little cat. My commisserations to you all.

my condolences on the imminent loss of your well-loved pet.

you cant avoid grieving over the loss of someone you love. dont try.

maybe you and your parents could spend a little time talking about the things you loved about her when they get back.

cry a bit and remember that you gave her the best life you could.

My condolences. Losing a pet is never easy, but remember, you gave her the best life you could and she lived a good life. There is nothing better than that.

But, since I have found this does help:

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Here's an old classic. I think it's an official thing from some organization or some such.

Naturally mileage varies with religious beliefs.

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

I've owned pets all my life and, of course, outlived them all. Maybe I just don't get as attached as some people, but it's never been too bad to see one go, even in the case of one of my first pets, a cat who died, like yours, of cancer. The best consolation is to remember the fun you had with your pet, keeping in mind that euthanasia is often the best course.

My condolences. Losing a pet is never easy, but remember, you gave her the best life you could and she lived a good life. There is nothing better than that.

But, since I have found this does help:

Dammit!

Seriously though, I'm no stranger to this. I actually had to have a pet put down about a year-and-a-half ago.

He had transformed overnight from an energetic kitty into a cold lethargic ball of fur that curled up next to us and just... existed. My mother took it to the vet as I went to school that morning, and when she picked me up at the end of the day there was a little trinket and a copy of the Rainbow Bridge on my seat.

That day sucked.

Omg.

Which one is the puppet?!

Omg.

Which one is the puppet?!

Was that my fault? :confused:

I'm about to go through one. My cat has cancer and, it appears, that it has nearly spread to her lungs. Her breathing has quickened over the last few weeks, and recently, she's stopped eating. So, my parents and I have decided to have her euthanized today, in about two hours, so that she won't have to go through the effects of the cancer finally reaching her lungs.

It's a bittersweet moment, as I'm about to help my pet and hurt my pet at the same time. This, however, isn't the problem - it's how to deal with it.

I am asking how one deals with such an event without suffering too much emotionally. I'm sure some of you have gone through the same thing, whether it be a pet or a person, so I figure asking could be a small help...
You have my sincerest condolences. I know what you are going through. I've kept cats my whole life, so I've gone through this several times. It never gets any easier, I'm sorry to say. After 45 years of cat ownership, I still feel that pain when I think of the ones who are gone. I remember every one of them, little bastard angels. I still miss them.

Some people don't handle it the way I do, but I find it's easier to deal with the loss if another pet moves in soon. In my family, "the cat" is a job in the household -- like "housekeeper" or "gardener" (except we can't afford those). So, despite the terrible pain of losing a cat we had come to love and depend on for companionship, the house just cannot be without a cat, so another is adopted fairly soon.

The new cat is just that -- a new cat. It is NOT a substitute for the former cat. It's a new little critter with a different personality and different behaviors and different ways of interacting with people. I just find that the "life goes on" distraction of learning to deal with this new presence in the house helps me cope with the grief I feel for the one who has died.

My mom went through this about a year ago, when her cat of 17 years had to be put down due to congestive heart failure. That cat was one in a million -- the most amazing little animal personality I ever knew. I'm actually starting to cry a little just thinking about him now. My mom was completely devastated, but I urged her not to wait long before getting another, so after about a week of no cat in the house, we started hitting the shelters. She ended up adopting a "problem" cat -- one who was so timid and afraid of human contact that she wouldn't even come out of her cage. There was just something about her, though, that hinted of a great cat hiding inside that terrified little body. So my mom took her, and sure enough, a year later, she is open and friendly and playful and affectionate and completely involved with my mom, who describes her as a "puppy-cat" for the way she follows my mom around the house. Just dealing with this cat's problems was as therapeutic for my mom as it was for the cat. She still misses the other cat tremendously, but there's a cat in the house, and that makes a lot of things easier to deal with.

Hey Bullitt - there's the answer -your wicked sense of humor is sure to get you through most crappy days!

You know you don't have to lose your cat forever. In fact you can keep it forever.

http://www.perpetualpet.net/Gallery/

I'm sorry to do this, but *snip*

The interesting thing is that there are already two more here.

The sad thing is that one of them was picking on her when she was just lying down. :(

You know you don't have to lose your cat forever. In fact you can keep it forever.

http://www.perpetualpet.net/Gallery/

There is something sinister about that, for me. I don't know, I guess some people would be comfortable with that, and who I am to critic them. But me...

I almost threw up inside my mouth.

If you love your kitty at all, you will grieve for her. There's just no way around it. I find it's been comforting to have pictures of my past kitties. You might not be ready to look at them for a while, but it does eventually ... well, it doesn't ever really get better, but it gets more bearable.:fluffle:

The interesting thing is that there are already two more here.

The sad thing is that one of them was picking on her when she was just lying down. :(
Yeah, that'll happen. Sometimes, it's trying to get the other cat to buck up, react, etc. Other times... well, feline hatreds run deep. I had the reverse situation once when we had four cats in the house (when I was a kid). The oldest got breast cancer, and we knew we would have to put her down eventually, but she wasn't really sick, so we monitored her condition for the last year or so of her life. And as time went on, just before she started to seriously lose energy, she just started attacking the shit out of one of the other cats. They had never been friendly, but they mostly just ignored each other. But now it seemed like the one cat knew her time was short and she had just decided that, if it was the last thing she did on this earth, she was going to kill that other furry bitch, finally, once and for all, dammit. We had to separate them at least once a day. We'd come home from work/school and find fur just everywhere, from their monumental battles. On the one hand, we felt bad for the cat who was getting kicked around, but on the other hand, it felt good to see such life in the old girl.

When you part from a friend, grieve not, for that which you love the most in him is all the clearer in his absence; like the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain." ....Kahlil Gibran :)

There is something sinister about that, for me. I don't know, I guess some people would be comfortable with that, and who I am to critic them. But me...

I almost threw up inside my mouth.
I, however, am not so nice and will critic it. That is disgusting and I look down on whoever would do that.

I love animals and have had pets that have died. It was very emotional and I remember being sadder than when some relatives (not household, who are all living and healthy, thank God) died.

I'm sorry. There is nothing you can do to make it better. It simply will be. Look foward to one day being able to look back on their lives happily, simply thinking of all the great times and not really getting sad anymore at the bad last few days....

I'm about to go through one. My cat has cancer and, it appears, that it has nearly spread to her lungs. Her breathing has quickened over the last few weeks, and recently, she's stopped eating. So, my parents and I have decided to have her euthanized today, in about two hours, so that she won't have to go through the effects of the cancer finally reaching her lungs.

It's a bittersweet moment, as I'm about to help my pet and hurt my pet at the same time. This, however, isn't the problem - it's how to deal with it.

I am asking how one deals with such an event without suffering too much emotionally. I'm sure some of you have gone through the same thing, whether it be a pet or a person, so I figure asking could be a small help...

I'm sorry to hear about your cat. My cat Bonnie developed chronic renal failure a year ago (it was an acute form of a chronic disease, which I still have trouble trying to figure out) and, after consulting with the vet, I decided that the most humane thing to do was euthanasia.

My daughter and I set a time with the vet for the procedure. His office had a room set aside for families to say goodbye to their pets and we sat in there with Bonnie, petting her and talking to her. When we felt it was time, he gave her a shot, not directly, but into her intravenous tube. She went to sleep quietly while we petted her. I don't think it hurt her. If you can tolerate it, it's best to be with the pet at the end, it helps with closure. Some people can't handle it, and that's no reflection on them, different people have different abilities to deal with this sort of thing (I think that men seem to have more difficulty with euthanasia than women).

I've posted this poem before, It makes me emotional, but it helps in the long run. Really, if you love your pet, it doesn't do to try to minimize the impact of it's passing, it does a disservice to both of you.

http://rainbowsbridge.com/Poem.htm

I lost my two childhood dogs (a 110 pound half yellow lab half husky & a 20 pound Australian terrier) two years ago. They both died of old age, the lab/husky was 12 and the terrier was 17.

There's not a day that goes by where I don't think of them.

The best thing to do is to cherish your cat's memory.

The best thing to do is to cherish your cat's memory.

I've lost several 'best friends' in my life, and the best thing that I've found is to sit down and write up your favorite memories. I've written epitaphs for each, and in some cases mailed or emailed them to friends who knew me and my pet. I've still got copies on my mantle, on my hard drive, and floating about in cyberspace. Every time I run across one of them, I get teary-eyed ... but they're happy tears. That's what great friends bring you.

Remember, shared sorrow is lessened, shared joy is increased.

Once your cat has renal failure, that's usually it. They go very quickly.

Paddy: "father I'd like you to say the last rites for my poor little Fido here!"
Priest: "Paddy, I can't do that for ye. The chuch doesn't allow it! Why don't you try your luck with taking Fido down to the Methodist church down the road?"
Paddy: Sure an' I'll be doing that Father! An' I'll take me five thousand pounds for the funeral service with me then."
Priest: "Stop there Paddy and hold on a while. Why didn't yer tell me that little Fido was a Catholic?"

I'm about to go through one. My cat has cancer and, it appears, that it has nearly spread to her lungs. Her breathing has quickened over the last few weeks, and recently, she's stopped eating. So, my parents and I have decided to have her euthanized today, in about two hours, so that she won't have to go through the effects of the cancer finally reaching her lungs.

It's a bittersweet moment, as I'm about to help my pet and hurt my pet at the same time. This, however, isn't the problem - it's how to deal with it.

I am asking how one deals with such an event without suffering too much emotionally. I'm sure some of you have gone through the same thing, whether it be a pet or a person, so I figure asking could be a small help...
You know how I feel already. I hope you've gotten through this okay.

I, however, am not so nice and will critic it. That is disgusting and I look down on whoever would do that.

Oh so heartily seconded. I can't even describe how haunting that site is. I don't look down on the people who would do that as much as I pity them. Their heads can't be working right if they think that's a good idea.

I had to put down a cat not so long ago. It is really hard still, since it was one of my first pets and Tippy had been with us since I was in grade 4. He started having seizures and they gradually got worse and worse. We decided it was best.

You know you don't have to lose your cat forever. In fact you can keep it forever.

http://www.perpetualpet.net/Gallery/

Ew! Just, ew.

I have pictures of Bonnie as wallpaper on my computer, along with her brother (still living, by the way) and my other cats. I have a picture of her on my cell phone, but what those people are doing is just ... pathetic.

I still haven't "gotten over" the death of my pup, and I doubt I ever will. He was honestly my best friend, and my first understanding of unconditional love... even when I didn't deserve it. I still have documents from the day we bought him, vet bills, his tags... it's harder still because I wasn't there when he died. He was with my uncle, and I still hate (and I mean seriously hate) that I wasn't there to hold him when he died. I just wanted him to know how much I loved him.

Look at me, getting all teary-eyed. I wish you the best. *hugs* This is never easy.

Thank you all for your good wishes. It's kinda making me teary eyed reading this thread again, but I'm better than before.

I was in the room when they euthanized her. They put an IV tube in her right arm so that they could inject a lethal dose of a sedative. About 10 seconds after the doctor began to push on the plunger, she began to settle down, and about 30 seconds after that, while looking straight into her eyes that were beginning to wander, her breathing stopped and the doctor took her stethoscope and pronounced that her heartbeat had stopped. For some reason, although I was pretty emotional the whole day leading up to the event, I seemed to be in better shape than my mother and sister, who were both in the room when it happened. They said their goodbyes, they left, I thanked her for the 15 years that she had lived with me, and I left. I felt pretty hollow on the way out, and I kept searching my pockets because I felt I had lost something there.

It's a lot harder to write this now than it actually was to experience it, but now I'm glad I was there with her when it all happened.

Thank you all for your good wishes. It's kinda making me teary eyed reading this thread again, but I'm better than before.

I was in the room when they euthanized her. They put an IV tube in her right arm so that they could inject a lethal dose of a sedative. About 10 seconds after the doctor began to push on the plunger, she began to settle down, and about 30 seconds after that, while looking straight into her eyes that were beginning to wander, her breathing stopped and the doctor took her stethoscope and pronounced that her heartbeat had stopped. For some reason, although I was pretty emotional the whole day leading up to the event, I seemed to be in better shape than my mother and sister, who were both in the room when it happened. They said their goodbyes, they left, I thanked her for the 15 years that she had lived with me, and I left. I felt pretty hollow on the way out, and I kept searching my pockets because I felt I had lost something there.


It's a lot harder to write this now than it actually was to experience it, but now I'm glad I was there with her when it all happened.

If you go to the Cat Fancy - Club Cat page, you can put a memorial to her up there (link - http://www.catchannel.com/registration/confirmation.aspx). It's a good way to work through your feelings and, perhaps, help with that sense of loss.

One of my cats is starting to get into that phase where they soil where they stand, due to senility. He used to follow me around the apartment and stuff, but now he kind of just sits there in the kitchen. In a few weeks I might have to have him put down, because he just doesn't seem healthy, and he looks sad, in a way.

I've had Seva since I was 3 or 4, and he's probably the only reason I have any humanity left =[

My condolences mate. And I hope your grief will not last as long as mine over Cinnet (a beautiful and strong headed tomcat - his name can be literally translated as "frenzy"). It's been 2 years since we lost him and I'm just about able to look at another tabby.

And about that perpetual pet thingie, sad, just too sad.

Cheerio!

I'm about to go through one. My cat has cancer and, it appears, that it has nearly spread to her lungs. Her breathing has quickened over the last few weeks, and recently, she's stopped eating. So, my parents and I have decided to have her euthanized today, in about two hours, so that she won't have to go through the effects of the cancer finally reaching her lungs.

It's a bittersweet moment, as I'm about to help my pet and hurt my pet at the same time. This, however, isn't the problem - it's how to deal with it.

I am asking how one deals with such an event without suffering too much emotionally. I'm sure some of you have gone through the same thing, whether it be a pet or a person, so I figure asking could be a small help...

Dealing with death is likely differant for us all. When I was 14 we had to have our Old English Sheepdog put down, and because my mum and dad were so upset, they went out when the vet called round and the task to hold the dog, and make sure she was comfatable fell to me.

It is something that I'll never forget, and yes while I was upset, and had a cry(not as much as mum and dad), in hindsight I thank my parents for giving me that experiance.

Time as they say heal's wounds, and when the grieving is done, then it is done. In short there are no easy ways to face the death of a loved one.

Very sorry to hear about your cat.

When I was at home my father had fur allegies so we didn't have pets, until we got goldfish (Ivor; then Larry, Harry, Barry, and Clarrie). Only Larry and Harry are left now. Most people flush their fish, but we buried ours in the garden in coffins made of half cereal boxes, with lollypop stick gravemarkers (we had to bury them quite deep so the neighbour's cat wouldn't go digging). Even for goldfish, I think it was nice to have something to remember them by, and we stuck up a couple of pictures in our kitchen (we have many animal pics there, as my parents are chicken nuts). Since I've moved out I've been in flats that haven't allowed pets.

When my ant farm suffered a freak flood, in terms of a glass of water being knocked into it, I was distraught, my world fell apart.

Luckily, ants are easily replaced, and new natural disasters were therefore experienced by the poor ants of, as I came to call it, the city of Ant-opolis.

The Great Earthquake of Ant-opolis in July '08 deserves a mention, extraordinary destruction.

Yet I miss them, enormously.

Four years ago, my beloved Heinz variety dog aged 19 years had to make that last trip to the vet. As others have said, you can't and shouldn't avoid grieving the loss of a loved companion. In the words of Dido (from Dido and Aeneas) "Remember me, but forget my fate". Focus on the good things and smile when you think of your cat - think of the funny or endearing things she did and don't dwell on her illness and end. Accept that you will miss her, but cherish that you had her. /hug

I never cry when pets die, neither did I feel sad. Just odd. Then again the last time I had a pet cat was 11+ years ago. I have it's ashes in a box in my bedroom. I am never far away from a pet. ;)

Aww... poor kitty. :( And poor you.

Pet deaths are like deaths of family members in terms of the amount of stress they add to a person's life, so try to treat it the way you would the death of a close friend or a relative. Have a cry, go talk to your friends (I suspect the ones who have pets will understand), remember the good times and don't be ashamed of feeling bad about it for a while. S/he's not "just a cat" to you, even if some people are jerks and make these sorts of claims.

Aww... poor kitty. :( And poor you.

Pet deaths are like deaths of family members in terms of the amount of stress they add to a person's life, so try to treat it the way you would the death of a close friend or a relative. Have a cry, go talk to your friends (I suspect the ones who have pets will understand), remember the good times and don't be ashamed of feeling bad about it for a while. S/he's not "just a cat" to you, even if some people are jerks and make these sorts of claims.

Generally I have a positive attitude when it comes to everything, even death of pets/friends/family. But when it comes to politics or economics I am a pessimist. ;)

Four years ago, my beloved Heinz variety dog aged 19 years had to make that last trip to the vet. As others have said, you can't and shouldn't avoid grieving the loss of a loved companion. In the words of Dido (from Dido and Aeneas) "Remember me, but forget my fate". Focus on the good things and smile when you think of your cat - think of the funny or endearing things she did and don't dwell on her illness and end. Accept that you will miss her, but cherish that you had her. /hug
^This

As much as it sounds odd to some people, loss of a pet is too much like loss of a loved human. Been to both places and it hurts the same.

Cheers mate.

A couple months ago, Thaigirl (one of mom's cats she's had for five years -- I've known her quite well) had another kidney problem (she's had kidney problems before, too) and didn't survive it. I grieved heavily. :(

If you care, she was an oriental longhair and 8 years old at the time.

I miss her. :(

A couple months ago, Thaigirl (one of mom's cats she's had for five years -- I've known her quite well) had another kidney problem (she's had kidney problems before, too) and didn't survive it. I grieved heavily. :(

If you care, she was an oriental longhair and 8 years old at the time.

I miss her. :(

Of course we care. :fluffle: It is like losing a family member.

I'm about to go through one. My cat has cancer and, it appears, that it has nearly spread to her lungs. Her breathing has quickened over the last few weeks, and recently, she's stopped eating. So, my parents and I have decided to have her euthanized today, in about two hours, so that she won't have to go through the effects of the cancer finally reaching her lungs.

It's a bittersweet moment, as I'm about to help my pet and hurt my pet at the same time. This, however, isn't the problem - it's how to deal with it.

I am asking how one deals with such an event without suffering too much emotionally. I'm sure some of you have gone through the same thing, whether it be a pet or a person, so I figure asking could be a small help...
When I was about 7 years old, our pet cat died. His name was George. He was really my mother's cat, but he'd been around my whole life and I was very upset at losing a member of our family.

We buried him in the back yard under my mom's ferns. George was an indoor-cat, but he'd sometimes escape and go sit under the ferns and nibble on them. Then he'd come back inside and barf. He liked those damn ferns.

There's still a small flat rock marking his grave. It was nice to see it every spring when I help Mom clean out that area of the garden.

My parents helped me be okay with George's death by reminding me that he was a very old cat, and it's okay for animals (and people) to die sometimes. It's sad and we miss them, but that doesn't change the fact that we are glad to have known them. George got to die peacefully, being held by Mom and petted by her and Dad, and he didn't have to hurt any more or be afraid.

That year, we got two new kittens. Beezie and Hobbs. They were litter-mates and it was at least a year before we could reliably tell them apart. Thank heavens Beezie had a little white spot on his back.

Beezie became ill about five years ago. His behavior became very erratic, and he would yowl in pain whenever he jumped up or down. We learned that his kidneys were failing and he was having several other serious medical problems. Beezie was put to sleep after several months because the vet told us there was nothing they could do to cure him, and at best he could live a year or so more but he'd be in pain. That was really rough for me because Beezie was "my" cat. He wasn't terribly old for a cat, either.

I know it sounds stupid, but Hobbs was what comforted me. I don't know if cats can actually "miss" one another, but I liked to pretend that Hobbs missed his brother too, and we could sit together and miss Beezie sometimes. I talked to Hobbs sometimes when I was bummed. He was one of those cats that always looks at you like you're a really stupid human and your human problems are silly. That helped.

Hobbs died last year. He and Beezie have joined George in the garden. When I go home to visit I usually stop by the ferns to say hi to them, since they were always thoughtful enough to come to the door to say hi to me when I came home before. I know they're dead. I just like to pretend.

My parents aren't planning to get any more cats right now. My father insists that he's happy to not have kitty litter and cat barf to worry about. My mother insists that it's nice not to have anything chewing her plants and leaving hair all over the place.

I think they're going to get a new cat soon.

I am asking how one deals with such an event without suffering too much emotionally. I'm sure some of you have gone through the same thing, whether it be a pet or a person, so I figure asking could be a small help...

I am very sorry for you loss. :( It is a very difficult thing to go through. I've been through it and there is no advice I can offer you to ease your pain. Time is the only healer of your pain.