NationStates Jolt Archive

So anyway...

There I was meeting a friend of a friend at lunch today (yes that will come up at the end) who has _ ___.

"Ha!" you say "that girl must be a gajillion at least to have a baby" well poo I say she is my age which is 18, so anyway I do notice that people are giving some very dirty looks specially old businesswomen who's eggs are too encrusted over to support life even if you ignore their personality but their jerks so who cares right?

[important bit that allows for posting on topic]
We pop into family pub to get lunch which is fine because all I want is lots of nachos what with being a nerd >.>

Waitress: oh sorry but if your coming in with children you need to order a main course

Us: *go for baguettes things call to power goes to order at bar part*

Waitress: oh can I see some ID

*shows passport very puzzled*

Waitress: okay can I see their ID

*does so*

Waitress: sorry you need to be over 21 to be in here with children, its policy ra ra ra

*is kicked out of my local vowing never to return to such an evil place*

Now me being the type goes and walks the pram down this city centre road thing...I could feel everyone who walked past noting little comments in their heads like "who's ya daddy?" and "I bet he loves those shitty ice cream bars that ripoff twix and stuff" bastards all of them!

topic:

do young parents get enough support from society? do you look down on young parents? if a mommy/daddy was suitably charming would you? was I kicked out because that waitress is a spiteful bitch or because of insurance stuff?

my stuff:

1) No, people are jerks of course but what kind of sociaty automatically labels young parents as failures from a glance? one that would tell me to stop ranting?

2) Probably I don't really see such things mattering (well yeah I can but I like and work well with kids)

3) shush voice of raisin

Most of the time, it seems like those young parents, well, suck at parenting. They're simply too young and too inexperienced to really shoulder that monumental responsibility and end up neglecting their duties to raise the child properly. Even worse, in a lot of cases the deadbeat guy bails and leaves the mother to raise the child alone (without child support, mind you) forcing her to handle all of the duties of single parenthood combined with the dual income gaps stemming from her gender and her likely lack of any secondary education.

It's a stupid, stupid decision for sure, but it's not one I fault either of them over unless they fail to raise that child in a responsible, adult manner. Unfortunately, responsible parenting seems to rarely happen, producing any number of problems with the kids as they grow up. This is especially bad among minorities, whose already existent economic and educational margnialization reduces a lot of those kids to unemployment, drugs, and crime or simply repeats the cycle of poverty and inequality.

I think we should support them in the sense of preparing them to be good parents and enabling them to get the education and services they need to have the kind of job necessary to properly support their child.

So anyway...

There I was meeting a friend of a friend at lunch today (yes that will come up at the end) who has _ ___.

"Ha!" you say "that girl must be a gajillion at least to have a baby" well poo I say she is my age which is 18, so anyway I do notice that people are giving some very dirty looks specially old businesswomen who's eggs are too encrusted over to support life even if you ignore their personality but their jerks so who cares right?

[important bit that allows for posting on topic]
We pop into family pub to get lunch which is fine because all I want is lots of nachos what with being a nerd >.>

Waitress: oh sorry but if your coming in with children you need to order a main course

Us: *go for baguettes things call to power goes to order at bar part*

Waitress: oh can I see some ID

*shows passport very puzzled*

Waitress: okay can I see their ID

*does so*

Waitress: sorry you need to be over 21 to be in here with children, its policy ra ra ra

*is kicked out of my local vowing never to return to such an evil place*

Now me being the type goes and walks the pram down this city centre road thing...I could feel everyone who walked past noting little comments in their heads like "who's ya daddy?" and "I bet he loves those shitty ice cream bars that ripoff twix and stuff" bastards all of them!

topic:

do young parents get enough support from society? do you look down on young parents? if a mommy/daddy was suitably charming would you? was I kicked out because that waitress is a spiteful bitch or because of insurance stuff?

my stuff:

1) No, people are jerks of course but what kind of sociaty automatically labels young parents as failures from a glance? one that would tell me to stop ranting?

2) Probably I don't really see such things mattering (well yeah I can but I like and work well with kids)

3) shush voice of raisin

I look down on young parents. I think that parenthood is nothing to rush into. Parenthood is something that is very important and is a big deal.

I think that a couple should be together for at least 5 years before having a child together. My reason is that after 5 years you pretty much know everything about your spouse and know for sure that it is a good idea to become parents together.

Also, I think that a couple should have the financial resources to become parents and this is impossible to do as a young couple without help from third parties.

Also, life should be pretty stable before you have kids. If college, grad school, or trade school is on the agenda, this education should be completed before parenthood begins.

Also, if you have some major savings goals like saving for a downpayment on a house or owning a car with no debt, these goals should be accompished before parenthood begins.

I do not see why all of these young parents need to be in such a big hurry to procreate. I do not think that it is good for people's finances to say the least.

I read in a recent editorial in my paper that young parents make a lot less income than parents who wait until they are in their mid 20s.

I choose to wait until my early 30s to have a child. I have friends who did it in their late 20s and things seem ok with them. My friends that spawned really young are all not in the best financial shape and seem to describe their lives as having a lot of unhappiness. It seems that early breeding causes stress on the relationship of the parents. This is probably due in part to the financial stress and the stress from not being emotionally ready for the obligations of parenthood.

i didnt understand your story.

must be the british accent or something.

Yay stereotyping.

>.>

I look down on young parents. I think that parenthood is nothing to rush into. Parenthood is something that is very important and is a big deal.

I think that a couple should be together for at least 5 years before having a child together. My reason is that after 5 years you pretty much know everything about your spouse and know for sure that it is a good idea to become parents together.

Also, I think that a couple should have the financial resources to become parents and this is impossible to do as a young couple without help from third parties.

Also, life should be pretty stable before you have kids. If college, grad school, or trade school is on the agenda, this education should be completed before parenthood begins.

Also, if you have some major savings goals like saving for a downpayment on a house or owning a car with no debt, these goals should be accompished before parenthood begins.

I do not see why all of these young parents need to be in such a big hurry to procreate. I do not think that it is good for people's finances to say the least.

I read in a recent editorial in my paper that young parents make a lot less income than parents who wait until they are in their mid 20s.

I choose to wait until my early 30s to have a child. I have friends who did it in their late 20s and things seem ok with them. My friends that spawned really young are all not in the best financial shape and seem to describe their lives as having a lot of unhappiness. It seems that early breeding causes stress on the relationship of the parents. This is probably due in part to the financial stress and the stress from not being emotionally ready for the obligations of parenthood.

No matter how old you are, how long you've known your partner or how much money you have stashed away, you'll make beginner mistakes, you'll fight over the kids, and you won't be able to give them everything you think they need, much less everything you think they deserve.

Also, @ the OP.......they let kids in pubs. :eek:

um...can I get a translation of the story?


And you were kicked out of the place because the bar has a policy against people under 21 bringing young children in. Seems that was the one part of the story I followed.

They don't want teens bringing younger siblings in and buying them drinks or anything like that. Proving you are a kids parent is pretty difficult, so they make a sweeping rule.

i didnt understand your story.

must be the british accent or something.

His story was a little dificult to understand. It seems as though he spent the day with a teenage mother and her child. It seemed that he was not allowed to eat at a pub because they do not serve teenagers who accompany children. Then it seems that the poster went on a walk and felt a bit paranoid. He believed that people were looking at him funny as though he was a teenage father of a bastard child.

I did not understand the reference to ice cream, candy, and people's views of his ancestry.

No matter how old you are, how long you've known your partner or how much money you have stashed away, you'll make beginner mistakes, you'll fight over the kids, and you won't be able to give them everything you think they need, much less everything you think they deserve.

You are right. However, I still think that waiting a bit is a good idea. I think that it makes sense for the finances, the relationship, and helps you become a better parent or at least reduces the chances that you will be a lousy one.

Also, @ the OP.......they let kids in pubs. :eek:

As long as they're with adults and before 9pm, yep. Or at least many of them, it's at the owners discretion.

You are right. However, I still think that waiting a bit is a good idea. I think that it makes sense for the finances, the relationship, and helps you become a better parent or at least reduces the chances that you will be a lousy one.

I'm not entirely sure it reduces the chances of anything. If you can't afford to supply your own basic needs of course throwing a kid into the mix is a bad plan, unless you really work harder on making more money.....but owning a house isn't required to be a good parent, nor is affording iPods or never disagreeing with your partner.

I had my first kid at 19, I think I'm ahead of the curve on the parenting thing, even though I broke most of the "rules" people set out. My mother followed all the "rules" and was a huge fuck up.

Poverty affects your ability to provide, sure, but being less than rich probably isn't going to ruin your kids for life.

do young parents get enough support from society?Which society?
Well, probably not, anyway. Going through college while having to raise a kid seems like a nightmare to me; where will you find daycare and how will you pay for it?

do you look down on young parents?If they are very short, or if I'm on higher ground.

if a mommy/daddy was suitably charming would you?Hey, at least I know she puts out. Sure, no guarantee she'd put out for me; she might have become more cautions, but still, it's an indicator.

3) shush voice of raisinTalking raisins worry me.

Poverty affects your ability to provide, sure, but being less than rich probably isn't going to ruin your kids for life.

I would've said this, but I'm not nearly a father, so I'm resigned to saying...

QFT.

do young parents get enough support from society? Are young parents supposed to get a certain amount of support from society? is society supposed to bend over backwards to young parents or any social group in general?

do you look down on young parents? In General? no. young parents who go out partying and leave their kids to be raised by their grandparents and other relatives? yes.
if a mommy/daddy was suitably charming would you? would I what?
was I kicked out because that waitress is a spiteful bitch or because of insurance stuff? I suspect you were kicked out because she was a spiteful bitch. I would insist on calling the manager over and asking why your friend can't eat here because he/she has a child with them. ask to see this policy in writing. if the manager shows you the policy and supports it. then leave and write a nasty letter to all the newspapers and if your news stations have a 'talk line', bring it up there. spread the word on that policy and what you think about it and let others know.

then see how long that policy stays enforced after that publicity. ;)

do young parents get enough support from society?
Financially, yes, morally, no.
do you look down on young parents?
No, my own mother was only just 18 when I was born.
if a mommy/daddy was suitably charming would you?
No, I try to respect any parents.
was I kicked out because that waitress is a spiteful bitch or because of insurance stuff?
Both.

I suspect you were kicked out because she was a spiteful bitch. I would insist on calling the manager over and asking why your friend can't eat here because he/she has a child with them. ask to see this policy in writing. if the manager shows you the policy and supports it. then leave and write a nasty letter to all the newspapers and if your news stations have a 'talk line', bring it up there. spread the word on that policy and what you think about it and let others know.

then see how long that policy stays enforced after that publicity. ;)

I'm curious...what would she be being spiteful about?

I look down on young parents. I think that parenthood is nothing to rush into. Parenthood is something that is very important and is a big deal.

I think that a couple should be together for at least 5 years before having a child together. My reason is that after 5 years you pretty much know everything about your spouse and know for sure that it is a good idea to become parents together.

Also, I think that a couple should have the financial resources to become parents and this is impossible to do as a young couple without help from third parties.

Also, life should be pretty stable before you have kids. If college, grad school, or trade school is on the agenda, this education should be completed before parenthood begins.

Also, if you have some major savings goals like saving for a downpayment on a house or owning a car with no debt, these goals should be accompished before parenthood begins.

I do not see why all of these young parents need to be in such a big hurry to procreate. I do not think that it is good for people's finances to say the least.

I read in a recent editorial in my paper that young parents make a lot less income than parents who wait until they are in their mid 20s.

I choose to wait until my early 30s to have a child. I have friends who did it in their late 20s and things seem ok with them. My friends that spawned really young are all not in the best financial shape and seem to describe their lives as having a lot of unhappiness. It seems that early breeding causes stress on the relationship of the parents. This is probably due in part to the financial stress and the stress from not being emotionally ready for the obligations of parenthood.

The reason I look down on young parents is because I'm pretty tall, and usually they're not.

:D

I'm curious...what would she be being spiteful about?

who cares?

could be...
the friend was a better parent than she was
it's her time of the month
she aborted her child at that age
her dog died that morning
she was being fired and that was her last day at work
she was going though a nasty divorce
she hated to see anyone happy
she hated kids

pick one. who cares.

If I'm at a pub, I'm there because I want a drink and probably to hit on somebody. Or hit somebody. Either way, I don't some stupid kids running around, getting stepped on by my huge feet and punching me in the crotch.
So, I work with kids, I don't drink with them.
I didn't understand anything else you said, and that's probably because I'm drunk, and not with kids.

Also, @ the OP.......they let kids in pubs. :eek:

It may be to have a counter meal with the family or something, in Australia well at least SA people under the age of 18 are allowed in pubs before midnight, when with their parents, nothing really wrong with that it is not as though they are giving them alcohol. As I say you and your family might go into a pub at lunch time for a counter meal or something.

It may be to have a counter meal with the family or something, in Australia well at least SA people under the age of 18 are allowed in pubs before midnight, when with their parents, nothing really wrong with that it is not as though they are giving them alcohol. As I say you and your family might go into a pub at lunch time for a counter meal or something.
A counter meal? Hells no. A proper meal? Yes.

A counter meal? Hells no. A proper meal? Yes.

Well that depends on what you mean by counter meal, after all if I went to a pub for a counter meal I may have a T-bone steak with vegetables, or I may have a schnitzel parmagania with chips and salad. Now the first one you would buy at a restaurant.

What is a pommy counter meal?

What is a pommy counter meal?
Basically a pub meal in the UK is a proper meal cooked by a cook type in a kitchen. Very nice. Fish and chips is always good. Steak often tasty. Burgers, generally excellent, especially if cheese is involved.

... fuck you and yer 'poms' rubbish.

Anyway, basically a pub meal in the UK is a proper meal cooked by a cook type in a kitchen. Very nice. Fish and chips is always good. Steak often tasty. Burgers, generally excellent, especially if cheese is involved.

Come down mate, only a joke. Well what you have described is what in Australia we would call a counter meal if we had it in a pub. The only difference being that it costs $10 instead of $25 with the same quality as the restaurant that charges you more. I should state that in the CBD it may be closer to $20 than $10 but if you are out in the country then you can get a meal which is just as good for about $10.

Come down mate, only a joke.
Sorry, it's 3:30am and I can't sleep. Didn't really mean to be such a prick.
Well what you have described is what in Australia we would call a counter meal if we had it in a pub. The only difference being that it costs $10 instead of $25 with the same quality as the restaurant that charges you more. I should state that in the CBD it may be closer to $20 than $10 but if you are out in the country then you can get a meal which is just as good for about $10.
Oh ok. Aye, same gig here. Especially regarding quality / price.

Sorry, it's 3:30am and I can't sleep. Didn't really mean to be such a prick.

Quite alright mate, and I will try and limit the use of the term pom.

Oh ok. Aye, same gig here. Especially regarding quality / price.

Yeah, beautiful isn't it every wednesday I meet up with a friend for lunch nice and cheap and very good too.

But in England youy said no to counter meals what is an English counter meal? Since we use the term differently.

Quite alright mate, and I will try and limit the use of the term pom.
Ta :tongue:
Yeah, beautiful isn't it every wednesday I meet up with a friend for lunch nice and cheap and very good too.
Aye. A couple of pints and a burger and chips at my local is less than a tenner. Happy days.
But in England youy said no to counter meals what is an English counter meal? Since we use the term differently.
What I'd call a counter 'meal' would be probably not be called a meal. More like nuts and crisps and all that. Some other Brits may disagree with me, mind.

Ta :tongue:

Aye. A couple of pints and a burger and chips at my local is less than a tenner. Happy days.

What I'd call a counter 'meal' would be probably not be called a meal. More like nuts and crisps and all that. Some other Brits may disagree with me, mind.

Yeah I love it. But ah I see yeah not really a meal at all and certainly not something you would take your child into and eat with for lunch.

people are jerks of course but what kind of sociaty automatically labels young parents as failures from a glance?

The same type of people who know nothing of the situation and are basing their assumption on all young parents from a couple they have seen. Which pisses me off sometimes but it is good when your child out performs theirs.

I am a young parent (16 when my son was born) so I think I can speak with some sort of knowledge on the issue of young parents. The fortunate thing with us is that the mothers family is very well off while my family is quite comfortable, so myself and the mother was able to be looked after quite good, though when I was working I did see a large amount of my pay going towards my son, not that I mind as it has allowed him to get a good start at life. The thing was that when I had my son and looked a bit younger I would get stares from some people with their nose turned down at you, and even one poster on here said they look down on young parents, to which I say bugger off, after all they don't know the situation they don't know that my son is attending a good quality school that he gets a lot of attention from his parents and grandparents and is well looked after both physically and mentally.

I think young parents will always receive negative comments even by those who are friends, but older people can be just as bad parents as young parents I don't think that people give young parents the same consideration as old parents. I have unfortunately seen many young parents who have the child and I know (because I do know their situation, I am not making assumptions) the child is going to be worse off because of it, it is something that tears me up inside to think that the child is going to be disadvantaged.

I used to live in the teenage pregnancy capital of SA and you would see the amount of young parents, who may not know who the father is or is still in school (it was a small town you knew everybody who was around your age when between the ages of 15-20) where the grandparents couldn't do much either. It was sad to see that some of these parents would drop out of school despite the state school running a program tailored for young parents, while the private school didn't have this they did make concessions which a couple of my classmates used when they became pregnant.

Anyway to conclude I think that sections of society do sometimes don't give enough credit for young parents and because they made one mistake in their life means that the child is screwed up entirely and will be poor, while some other parents don't like the child born out of wedlock to hang around their children which I think is quite sad and does nothing to help the situation. Why they don't like that who knows maybe they think their child will catch something, though as I said earlier it is always satisfying when your child outperforms theirs, to give their bitch of a mother who has made rude comments about you and your son a smug smile and some witty comment to see the look on her face feels very good.

i didnt understand your story.

must be the british accent or something.

I'm glad it wasn't just me. I think it might have made sense before a random hurricane took out half the words.

I don't look down on young parents, but I think that in Australia at least, they get too much support from society. The amount of teenagers I have taught getting pregnant to get the baby bonus, and the single mothers' pension is ridiculous. I know that there are many young parents who do the right thing, but many don't. Which is why I believe that young mothers and fathers should have their children removed and placed into foster care unless the young mothers and fathers can demonstrate that they are doing their utmost for the child. Spending the baby bonus on a car stereo instead of a safe crib is not doing the right thing. Taking your new baby to school and having it in a classroom so that while it is squalling other students are disadvantaged by not being able to concentrate is not doing the right thing. Being on the single mothers' pension with no intention of getting a job or doing further study to improve your skills but enrolling your child in subsidised child care so you are paying $5 a week is not doing the right thing.

So anyway...

There I was meeting a friend of a friend at lunch today (yes that will come up at the end) who has _ ___.

"Ha!" you say "that girl must be a gajillion at least to have a baby" well poo I say she is my age which is 18, so anyway I do notice that people are giving some very dirty looks specially old businesswomen who's eggs are too encrusted over to support life even if you ignore their personality but their jerks so who cares right?

[important bit that allows for posting on topic]
We pop into family pub to get lunch which is fine because all I want is lots of nachos what with being a nerd >.>

Waitress: oh sorry but if your coming in with children you need to order a main course

Us: *go for baguettes things call to power goes to order at bar part*

Waitress: oh can I see some ID

*shows passport very puzzled*

Waitress: okay can I see their ID

*does so*

Waitress: sorry you need to be over 21 to be in here with children, its policy ra ra ra

*is kicked out of my local vowing never to return to such an evil place*

Now me being the type goes and walks the pram down this city centre road thing...I could feel everyone who walked past noting little comments in their heads like "who's ya daddy?" and "I bet he loves those shitty ice cream bars that ripoff twix and stuff" bastards all of them!

topic:

do young parents get enough support from society? do you look down on young parents? if a mommy/daddy was suitably charming would you? was I kicked out because that waitress is a spiteful bitch or because of insurance stuff?

my stuff:

1) No, people are jerks of course but what kind of sociaty automatically labels young parents as failures from a glance? one that would tell me to stop ranting?

2) Probably I don't really see such things mattering (well yeah I can but I like and work well with kids)

3) shush voice of raisin

If a maeisophile was present he would have shown that waiter what for. :mad::p

I don't look down on young parents, but I think that in Australia at least, they get too much support from society. The amount of teenagers I have taught getting pregnant to get the baby bonus, and the single mothers' pension is ridiculous. I know that there are many young parents who do the right thing, but many don't. Which is why I believe that young mothers and fathers should have their children removed and placed into foster care unless the young mothers and fathers can demonstrate that they are doing their utmost for the child. Spending the baby bonus on a car stereo instead of a safe crib is not doing the right thing. Taking your new baby to school and having it in a classroom so that while it is squalling other students are disadvantaged by not being able to concentrate is not doing the right thing. Being on the single mothers' pension with no intention of getting a job or doing further study to improve your skills but enrolling your child in subsidised child care so you are paying $5 a week is not doing the right thing.

But if they do this when they are older than it is fine, hey?

But if they do this when they are older than it is fine, hey?

No of course not. But the discussion is regarding young mothers, not all mothers. Therefore I presented my opinions about young mothers. The fact that the points I raised are just as applicable whether you are 14 or 40 is irrelevant as the discussion is about those who choose to have their children at a younger age than is usual.

No of course not. But the discussion is regarding young mothers, not all mothers. Therefore I presented my opinions about young mothers. The fact that the points I raised are just as applicable whether you are 14 or 40 is irrelevant as the discussion is about those who choose to have their children at a younger age than is usual.

Sorry, I let my emotions get the better of me when I posted, I have to agree with you some people do just do that and I think it is wrong if they are intentionally getting pregnant simply to get $700 and then just bumming off the government teat, but if the mother and father do accidentally get pregnant and still attempt to give their children the best in life that they can while also trying to improve themselves then I fail to see anything wrong.

It was amusing that they took away the baby bonus at the last budget for people earning more than $150,000 because they are spending it on TV and stereos when it is more the poorer people who are doing this and even young women getting pregnant to get this bonus when they aren't earning this high amount.

Shit I'm British and I even had a hard time following what was going on.

Do teenage parents get a bad deal and are they looked down upon?

Yes.

Shit I'm British and I even had a hard time following what was going on.

Do teenage parents get a bad deal and are they looked down upon?

Yes.

You didn't have that hard a time after all. Since quite a few people had a hard time following it maybe I or Call to power should write up an English translation.

Good job Smunkeeville and Blouman Empire on being good parents at the ages of 19 and 16. Although I do not hold in high esteem the idea of rushing off to become parents at an early age I salute your apparently good "follow through" on a decision that I disaprove of. In other words, it sounds like you are doing a great job of parenting despite your decision to become parents rather young.

I recognize that great children can be raised in situations that I disaprove of. My question to you both is, "If you could choose to have the same child that was born to you when you were young but have it about 10 years later, would you choose to do that?".

Good job Smunkeeville and Blouman Empire on being good parents at the ages of 19 and 16. Although I do not hold in high esteem the idea of rushing off to become parents at an early age I salute your apparently good "follow through" on a decision that I disaprove of. In other words, it sounds like you are doing a great job of parenting despite your decision to become parents rather young.

I recognize that great children can be raised in situations that I disaprove of. My question to you both is, "If you could choose to have the same child that was born to you when you were young but have it about 10 years later, would you choose to do that?".

I can't and won't speak for Smunkee but I didn't decide to have my son at the age of 16, it wasn't a decision that me and my girlfriend said that we want to have a child, I didn't rush off to become a parent while still in year 11at school.

As for your question, it is hard to tell I love my son and am proud of him immensely and am glad that I have a boy like him, if I were to have him in 4 years time rather than 6 years ago I think the answer maybe yes only because he may have more opportunities, or not it is a hard question to answer I may get to see him more than I do now, but maybe not, there have been times when I wished that I was a bit more careful but I don't wish that I never had him. Maybe no, he is someone who I hold very dear, fact he is the person I hold the closet to me and while I was happy about it when I found out I was going to be a father I love him very much and I don't think I would want that to change. Ask me the tough questions next time why don't you GF geez, lol.

I can't and won't speak for Smunkee but I didn't decide to have my son at the age of 16, it wasn't a decision that me and my girlfriend said that we want to have a child, I didn't rush off to become a parent while still in year 11at school.
Mine were suprises too, both of them. I did the whole birth control gig, turns out it's not 100% protective. (even apparently when using multiple forms at once)


My question to you both is, "If you could choose to have the same child that was born to you when you were young but have it about 10 years later, would you choose to do that?".
I wouldn't. I think she's made me grow up in a different way than I would have if I didn't have her. I don't have regrets, even though I've done a bunch of stupid shit when I was younger, I think it's all shaped me for the better. My kids have changed my life. I doubt I would be so put together now if I had aborted them and tried again when I was older.

You didn't have that hard a time after all. Since quite a few people had a hard time following it maybe I or Call to power should write up an English translation.

Ohhh I just took some key words and guessed!:D

Ha!" you say "that girl must be a gajillion at least to have a baby" well poo I say she is my age which is 18, so anyway I do notice that people are giving some very dirty looks specially old businesswomen who's eggs are too encrusted over to support life even if you ignore their personality but their jerks so who cares right?

So you think people give your friend dirty looks for being a young parent and go on to assume that a) all women want children, b) all women want children right now and c) the women you think are giving the dirty looks don't have children (just because a woman has a career doesn't mean she can't have kids) as well as d) the only women who want children and don't have them are those who either spent the entire fertile period of their lives having a career or who are such jerks nobody would want to sleep with them. Some women want children but don't have them because they aren't ready for them or don't want them right now or physically can't have children. Women are not baby producing machines

We pop into family pub to get lunch which is fine because all I want is lots of nachos what with being a nerd >.>[snip]

So instead of reasonable suggestions like they don't want people bringing their younger siblings in and ordering them booze, you assume that the establishment is making moral judgments on your friend for being young and having a kid?

Now me being the type goes and walks the pram down this city centre road thing...I could feel everyone who walked past noting little comments in their heads like "who's ya daddy?" and "I bet he loves those shitty ice cream bars that ripoff twix and stuff" bastards all of them!

No idea what you're on about.

do young parents get enough support from society?

No, but then nobody does. Students don't get enough support from society or else people wouldn't be saddled with debt when they leave school, single mothers (of any age) don't get enough support from society in the way of affordable day care.

do you look down on young parents?

On a lot of them, yes. I've met a number of girls younger than me with multiple children by multiple men, who frequently leave their parents or grandparents or siblings to look after their children and never learn from their experiences (i.e. they don't insist on birth control in the future) who don't have the means to support these kids and don't even seem to try to do so.
However, there are some who turn their lives around after they become pregnant and make something of themselves. One of my sister's friends cleaned up her act dramatically after she got pregnant.

if a mommy/daddy was suitably charming would you?

?
was I kicked out because that waitress is a spiteful bitch or because of insurance stuff?

You were probably kicked out for something either relating to liquor licenses or the waitress's ignorance of the policies.

So you think people give your friend dirty looks for being a young parent and go on to assume that a) all women want children, b) all women want children right now and c) the women you think are giving the dirty looks don't have children (just because a woman has a career doesn't mean she can't have kids) as well as d) the only women who want children and don't have them are those who either spent the entire fertile period of their lives having a career or who are such jerks nobody would want to sleep with them. Some women want children but don't have them because they aren't ready for them or don't want them right now or physically can't have children. Women are not baby producing machines



So instead of reasonable suggestions like they don't want people bringing their younger siblings in and ordering them booze, you assume that the establishment is making moral judgments on your friend for being young and having a kid?



No idea what you're on about.



No, but then nobody does. Students don't get enough support from society or else people wouldn't be saddled with debt when they leave school, single mothers (of any age) don't get enough support from society in the way of affordable day care.



On a lot of them, yes. I've met a number of girls younger than me with multiple children by multiple men, who frequently leave their parents or grandparents or siblings to look after their children and never learn from their experiences (i.e. they don't insist on birth control in the future) who don't have the means to support these kids and don't even seem to try to do so.
However, there are some who turn their lives around after they become pregnant and make something of themselves. One of my sister's friends cleaned up her act dramatically after she got pregnant.



?


You were probably kicked out for something either relating to liquor licenses or the waitress's ignorance of the policies.

Shit man, he is only 18.

Shit man, he is only 18.
The only thing I ranted about was his first assumption that his friend only gets dirty looks from crusty old hags who spent their whole life going after material wealth who are therefore jealous of his friend and her baby. Being 18 isn't an excuse for making such assumptions.

The rest I answered his questions... (well, I didn't understand the bit about the pram).

The only thing I ranted about was his first assumption that his friend only gets dirty looks from crusty old hags who spent their whole life going after material wealth who are therefore jealous of his friend and her baby. Being 18 isn't an excuse for making such assumptions.

The rest I answered his questions... (well, I didn't understand the bit about the pram).

Heh and that is what I meant, shit man he is only 18, he is bound to make these kinda assumptions.

Heh and that is what I meant, shit man he is only 18, he is bound to make these kinda assumptions.
That doesn't mean I have to be extra nice and pat him on the head for making them.

It just annoys me when people make rants about how someone is making unfair assumptions about them or treating them poorly and they go off making the same sorts of unfair assumptions about other people.

So you think people give your friend dirty looks for being a young parent and go on to assume that a) all women want children, b) all women want children right now and c) the women you think are giving the dirty looks don't have children (just because a woman has a career doesn't mean she can't have kids) as well as d) the only women who want children and don't have them are those who either spent the entire fertile period of their lives having a career or who are such jerks nobody would want to sleep with them. Some women want children but don't have them because they aren't ready for them or don't want them right now or physically can't have children. Women are not baby producing machines


... I think you need to lighten up a little. He was quite obviously merely making a humorous post, I don't you were supposed to treat it that seriously.

... I think you need to lighten up a little. He was quite obviously merely making a humorous post, I don't you were supposed to treat it that seriously.
It was obviously humour?! I thought it was just incoherent.

Young people should be encouraged to have children. Them not having them is a big problem, b/c there is not enough young people to support the lazy boomers in their dotage.

This fact has caused many of the problems we have today.

I can't and won't speak for Smunkee but I didn't decide to have my son at the age of 16, it wasn't a decision that me and my girlfriend said that we want to have a child, I didn't rush off to become a parent while still in year 11at school.

As for your question, it is hard to tell I love my son and am proud of him immensely and am glad that I have a boy like him, if I were to have him in 4 years time rather than 6 years ago I think the answer maybe yes only because he may have more opportunities, or not it is a hard question to answer I may get to see him more than I do now, but maybe not, there have been times when I wished that I was a bit more careful but I don't wish that I never had him. Maybe no, he is someone who I hold very dear, fact he is the person I hold the closet to me and while I was happy about it when I found out I was going to be a father I love him very much and I don't think I would want that to change. Ask me the tough questions next time why don't you GF geez, lol.

Mine were suprises too, both of them. I did the whole birth control gig, turns out it's not 100% protective. (even apparently when using multiple forms at once)

I wouldn't. I think she's made me grow up in a different way than I would have if I didn't have her. I don't have regrets, even though I've done a bunch of stupid shit when I was younger, I think it's all shaped me for the better. My kids have changed my life. I doubt I would be so put together now if I had aborted them and tried again when I was older.

Congrats on reading my first multi quote ever. Thanks for answering my question. I want to clarify to everyone that I was not asking you if you were sorry that you had your particular child or children, just that I was asking you if you were happy with your choice to have the child at that age.

And to BE, you two had your choice although I am sure that the mother had more choice than you. You two could have aborted or adopted and you chose not to. This is not the decision that I agree is best but we are all free to choose differently according to our own values.

Government support is of two types: 1) encouragement of activity that as a matter of policy, the government has decided to encourage; and 2) supporting economic weaklings for the supposed greater benefit of the economy.

In the USA we have examples of #1 typically being encouraged through taxes. In post-WWI France espescially and other places the government has encouraged babymaking through the tax policy. An example of some of the stuff that is encouraged in the USA is homeownership. There are lots of tax perks to being a homeowner. We Americans take home ownership seriously. Home ownership is called "The American Dream". As an aside I want to say that although I am patriotic I find it rather silly and embarassing to call homeownership "The American Dream". I am a proud home owning American but it just seems wierd to get worked up about it like that. Sorry for the aside.

I am not sure that young parenthood needs to be encouraged through public financial support. I just do not see what advantage that gives society. I do not see why young people should be encouraged to breed.

As an economic conservative (classical liberal) I do not think that government should support weak economic players too much. I am Keynesian enough to recognize the need for major government expenditures during economic depressions but I do not see the need for this sort of approach in good times and bad. As a compassionate conservative, I am all about helping people that are weak economic players due to no decision on their part. Accordingly, I think that children should be treated at hospitals for free. Poor children should get subsidized or free meals and clothing.

Mine were suprises too, both of them. I did the whole birth control gig, turns out it's not 100% protective. (even apparently when using multiple forms at once)

Yeah they never are 100%

I wouldn't. I think she's made me grow up in a different way than I would have if I didn't have her. I don't have regrets, even though I've done a bunch of stupid shit when I was younger, I think it's all shaped me for the better. My kids have changed my life. I doubt I would be so put together now if I had aborted them and tried again when I was older.

That's a very good answer there Smunkee, having a son did change me a bit and I think I am a better person from it after many different experiences, I used to be a laid back (still am to an extent) that didn't really give a damn and just coasted through life only doing what I had to do to keep people happy. Since I had my son I shaped up a lot more and I think am now more responsible because of it in all aspects of my life, from child raising to work to a lot of things. I will say that I did regret before he was born but since I am happy that I have him and proud of him, but as I say that was a difficult question for me to answer but you answered it beautifully.

Congrats on reading my first multi quote ever. Thanks for answering my question. I want to clarify to everyone that I was not asking you if you were sorry that you had your particular child or children, just that I was asking you if you were happy with your choice to have the child at that age.

And to BE, you two had your choice although I am sure that the mother had more choice than you. You two could have aborted or adopted and you chose not to. This is not the decision that I agree is best but we are all free to choose differently according to our own values.

Well we did speak about it along with our parents, and was something that took many a night I am glad that both our parents were supportive both financially and emotionally and helped us during the time we needed them and they still do, I know there were other options but in the end she really decided to keep the child, something which I kind of wanted and I am glad that she did, when I said I didn't have the choice in my post I meant that we didn't say we are going to go out and get pregnant, the pregnancy happened because we won't careful enough.

That doesn't mean I have to be extra nice and pat him on the head for making them.

It just annoys me when people make rants about how someone is making unfair assumptions about them or treating them poorly and they go off making the same sorts of unfair assumptions about other people.

Shit yeah lots of things annoy me too(although I try not to get wound up about the things I can't change or control), I guess all I was saying is that at 18 it is not unsupprising how a young man can make all sorts of unfair assumptions based around the 'I'.