NationStates Jolt Archive

Yes, this thread really is about your individual preferred manner of routinely removing defecation souvenirs from your behind with toilet paper (TP). No one shall accuse me of creating a thread that doesn't deliver.

So a friend told me she watched a documentary on TP (yes, apparently, those things exist, and have an audience), and apart from several educative, scientific TP facts, the show also made a side commentary on how ass-wiping techniques vary across countries/cultures. It seems there are three major ways of preparing your TP for bottom cleansing:

a) Folding. You take an appropriate length of TP, neatly fold it over an individually determined number of times, and use this multi-layered rectangle for all wiping purposes.

b) Wrapping. You prepare your post-excremental rear end wipe by wrapping the TP around your hand several times until desired layeredness/thickness is achieved, pull the resulting wad from the wrapped-up hand and use it. The cleansing device outcome is similar to a), i.e. a multi-layered smooth pad, but the means of getting there vary crucially.

c) Crumpling up. You tear off the amount of TP needed, crumple it into some sort of ball-ish thing, and use this anarchic, literally screwed-up result of your energetic handiwork to wipe it all off.


The documentary said that Germans are most likely to be of the folding kind, while the USA is supposed to be a country of Crumplers. So, what is it for you, and where are you from?

[Poll to come]

I am a "C", and I'm an evil American. *Nod*

I am a "C", and I'm an evil American. *Nod*

Great. What with me being an A and a Continental European, the complete sample so far supports my/the documentary's hypothesis. Yay for small-number samples!

Variety is the spice of life. :)

Euro's and OCDs, even in the US, probably tend to fold. :)

I am an American, and I proudly crumple my toilet paper.

Though I have been known to switch it up for excitement.

Variety is the spice of life. :)

I hear your rear end is in therapy right now because it's trying to get some stability back into its life. You need rituals to safely anchor yourself in this life of storms!

Euro's and OCDs, even in the US, probably tend to fold. :)

Are you calling us chronically OCD? ;P

I am an American, and I proudly crumple my toilet paper.

Though I have been known to switch it up for excitement.

Umm.. do tell us more about that excitement you derive from folding or wrapping TP, why don't you?

I hear your rear end is in therapy right now because it's trying to get some stability back into its life. You need rituals to safely anchor yourself in this life of storms!

Stability is for the weak. My butt will grow strong through chaos and spontaneity!

;) I'd love to, but I don't want to be kicked off the forum for such a dirty conversation.

Literally dirty.

;) I'd love to, but I don't want to be kicked off the forum for such a dirty conversation.

Literally dirty.

I'm an NSGer of several years, and have yet to receive as much as a warning. I do believe this topic is safe.

... but you get a cookie already anyway for having voted in the poll :]

Hmm...I get one bit, don't do anything to it first, have a general wipe around. Then I get another etc till clean. I don't do any preparatory work.

Hmm...I get one bit, don't do anything to it first, have a general wipe around. Then I get another etc till clean. I don't do any preparatory work.

So.. you use single "sheets" of TP? That's rare, I'd say. (Do you use dry or wet wipes?)

So.. you use single "sheets" of TP? That's rare, I'd say. (Do you use dry or wet wipes?)

Dry. I suppose it shows my attitude to money. Must only use one at a time, make sure I don't waste one damn sheet! :p

it depends.
normally, I fold.

but if my stool tends to be more liquid than solid, then I wrap.

if my stool tends to be more of a sticky, harder to remove type, then I crumple (and use the crevases to help remove the unwanted souveniers.)

Dry. I suppose it shows my attitude to money. Must only use one at a time, make sure I don't waste one damn sheet! :p

Reminds me of a primary school friend's house where they had strict rules: One sheet per "pee", and three sheets per "shit" was the amount of TP you were allocated. It creeped me the hell out.

it depends.
normally, I fold.

but if my stool tends to be more liquid than solid, then I wrap.

if my stool tends to be more of a sticky, harder to remove type, then I crumple (and use the crevases to help remove the unwanted souveniers.)

Thanks for the detailed answer. Only thing I wonder: Why the different type for the liquid-ish event? As already mentioned in the OP, folding and wrapping don't really yield different results, thus it makes no sense to use them in different texture situations, or does it?

Thanks for the detailed answer. Only thing I wonder: Why the different type for the liquid-ish event? As already mentioned in the OP, folding and wrapping don't really yield different results, thus it makes no sense to use them in different texture situations, or does it?

I tend to grab more when I wrap it around my hand. Thus the pad is a bit thicker and thus can absorb more.

it also depends on the TP. the thicker, more absorbant allows less for me to rip. the thinner, paper-like ones require more.

Is there a reason only continental Europe is a poll option with the US. Does the UK have different habits to both?

Reminds me of a primary school friend's house where they had strict rules: One sheet per "pee", and three sheets per "shit" was the amount of TP you were allocated. It creeped me the hell out.

THREE??? Despicable decadence. Two should be plenty, if used efficiently.

Is there a reason only continental Europe is a poll option with the US. Does the UK have different habits to both?

Yes, there is a reason. I haven't watched the documentary myself in its complete version, so the only "hypotheses" I know of, and want tested, are the ones about Germany and the US.

Now, putting "Germany" up alone would not exactly pull in the masses. I wanted to simply put "European" first, but then I wondered whether there might be a certain Anglo-Saxon concurrence with US-American habits (there are so many ways UKians often seem at odds with "Continental Europe" and their stuff, and closer to USAian stuff), and thus changed it to "Continental Europe" in order to not have potentially crumpling UKian arse-wipers skew the results.

THREE??? Despicable decadence. Two should be plenty, if used efficiently.

Is this the place where I punnily comment on varying asshole sizes and their respective TP need?

Are you calling us chronically OCD? ;P

Well, I am OCD, and a Euro... well, almost. English, anyway.

Well, I am OCD, and a Euro... well, almost. English, anyway.

So, Uncle Gravy, how do you treat your TP? A true European OCD Folder?

Is this the place where I punnily comment on varying asshole sizes and their respective TP need?

Probably. And on that note, I must mention that on most issues I'm not so obsessed with efficiency and excess use.

Wastage of toilet roll is for some reason just a topic I'm particularly anal about, on the hole.

Probably. And on that note, I must mention that on most issues I'm not so obsessed with efficiency and excess use.
You mean, like, puns. You use those rather freely. Loosely, even. You just sorta pop them out.

Wastage of toilet roll is for some reason just a topic I'm particularly anal about, on the hole.

Owowowowww.

Yes, there is a reason. I haven't watched the documentary myself in its complete version, so the only "hypotheses" I know of, and want tested, are the ones about Germany and the US.

Now, putting "Germany" up alone would not exactly pull in the masses. I wanted to simply put "European" first, but then I wondered whether there might be a certain Anglo-Saxon concurrence with US-American habits (there are so many ways UKians often seem at odds with "Continental Europe" and their stuff, and closer to USAian stuff), and thus changed it to "Continental Europe" in order to not have potentially crumpling UKian arse-wipers skew the results.

Well, I appear to have screwed up your poll by voting for the European one (not noticing the 'continental' until after) and voting 'crumpled' :$

Fold, of course. Then a moist wipe, occasionally.
Wrap -- interesting.
Crumple -- What?! are you nuts?

I admit this is an operation that is so automatic to me I actually had to think about what the hell process I used.

it depends.
normally, I fold.

but if my stool tends to be more liquid than solid, then I wrap.

if my stool tends to be more of a sticky, harder to remove type, then I crumple (and use the crevases to help remove the unwanted souveniers.)

Waaaaay too much info... :eek2:

EDIT: Fold.

Well, I appear to have screwed up your poll by voting for the European one (not noticing the 'continental' until after) and voting 'crumpled' :$

Close reading, girls, close reading! I always tell my students that unless tehy carefully evaluate the answer options, they'll be screwed, and now I have to sa ythe same here? Tzz, tzz.



I admit this is an operation that is so automatic to me I actually had to think about what the hell process I used.

Yeah, me too. I was actually certain I was a Crumpler when the friend asked me, until I actually observed myself he following days - and there I was, meticulously folding my TP. Strange, that.

So, Uncle Gravy, how do you treat your TP? A true European OCD Folder?

Obviously. And the OCD also explains the exact division into 4's, so that they can be folded, twice.

Obviously. And the OCD also explains the exact division into 4's, so that they can be folded, twice.

But, but.. you're doing it wrong! Folding is supposed to take place one by one! None of that doubling bullshit. You take the first sheet, fold it onto the second, fold that double-layered "sheet" onto the third, and then fold the last, fourth sheet onto the "pile".

Right? Right?

But, but.. you're doing it wrong! Folding is supposed to take place one by one! None of that doubling bullshit. You take the first sheet, fold it onto the second, fold that double-layered "sheet" onto the third, and then fold the last, fourth sheet onto the "pile".

Right? Right?

You know what's scary?

Not the answer - which is a 'no'... but WHY it's a 'no'.

If you fold it that way... you end up with odd numbers, all the time. Let me explain:

First fold: 1 sheet folded, leaving an objective '3 sheet' block.

Second fold: 2 sheets folded, leaving one sheet 'unfolded', and 3 sheets stacked.

Last fold: 4 sheets on top of one another, but they're all 'rolling' in the same direction - there's no symmetry.

You have to fold 4 in half, then that 'two block' in half, the other way. Balnace is maintained. Order once again exists in the universe.

I use a loofah for double-grasped see-saw cleanliness.

Waaaaay too much info... :eek2:
it really does depend on the circumstances.

I use a loofah for double-grasped see-saw cleanliness.

that would get expensive... otherwise down right disgusting when using public restrooms.

it really does depend on the circumstances.



that would get expensive... otherwise down right disgusting when using public restrooms.

Loofahs are washable, thus reusable.

Good for the environment, can't see the downside really.

I guess you could say I crumple. Really, I just grab a couple sheets and stuff 'em about in there, dropping them in the bowl and grabbing another couple as needed (and so on).
I'm curious about how this could be a cultural thing. There are many things which my parents advised me on, like alcohol, theft, sex, murder and driving, but TP-usage never came up. So how does the information get passed on from generation to generation?

I guess you could say I crumple. Really, I just grab a couple sheets and stuff 'em about in there, dropping them in the bowl and grabbing another couple as needed (and so on).
I'm curious about how this could be a cultural thing. There are many things which my parents advised me on, like alcohol, theft, sex, murder and driving, but TP-usage never came up. So how does the information get passed on from generation to generation?

How well do you remember your toilet-training?

Most of the things we learn as tiny children, are not from what we get told... but what we observe.

I wipe off the stuff with tp.. then i come back across with wipes to clean my ass.

Why would you fold it? It isn't a science fair experiment, just ball it up and go. Unless its taking a long time and I'm bored or something....

Oh and A ..til i bust out the butt wipes.

I'm a folder/wrapper depending on if it's #1 or #2. I suppose you are asking about when I wrap though. I also tend to follow up with specialty products.

I do also fold for nose blowing purposes.

I wrap, then crumple. I also wet-wipe, and I use lotion to aid in the cleaning process.

Yeah, it sounds a bit weird, but it gets everything out, and I've never had a hemorrhoid in my life. Itchy ass syndrome (IAS) has also never been a problem for me, not since I started wiping this way back in 1997, when I was nine years old.

I wrap, then crumple. I also wet-wipe, and I use lotion to aid in the cleaning process.
So what do you do at public restrooms or on the road?
not since I started wiping this way back in 1997, when I was nine years old.
Ha ha, I'm older than you.

All of the above. It depends on my mood.

How well do you remember your toilet-training?

Most of the things we learn as tiny children, are not from what we get told... but what we observe.
I do not believe I ever sat in a toilet cubicle and watched either of my parents take a dump.
And if I did, I am immensely thankful my brain has managed to wipe (excuse the pun) that memory completely.

I fold. Also, I'll totally send you chocolate.

Wrap 'n fold. Sometimes bidet afterwards.

So what do you do at public restrooms or on the road?

When I travel, I take my lotion with me, and I usually have a portable one that I can fit in my pocket, just for public bathrooms. If the lotion is done right, I can make it perfectly without water, but it's not quite as fast or easy.

I'm a crumpler.

I've never been into things that are soft on my skin. I'll take that paper towel over that tissue, tyvm.

So what do you do at public restrooms or on the road?

http://www.shinyshiny.tv/loo.jpg

Close reading, girls, close reading! I always tell my students that unless tehy carefully evaluate the answer options, they'll be screwed, and now I have to sa ythe same here? Tzz, tzz.

Sowwy, m'ss.

However, this thread does strike me as rather odd. I can't say I'd ever thought about it until a similar thread was started a while back. Folding or wrapping just seems not worth the effort.

If you fold it that way... you end up with odd numbers, all the time.

That, indeed, makes a lot of sense (and I know this is where Fass would tell me I'm being "a bit too autistic for [him]"). Your explanation tingles my symmetry sense, but it also britally stomps on my need for singleness in processes. Unless absolutely necessary, I avoid things like folding two sheets at once, cutting through several layers of stuff at the same time, etc.


I wrap, then crumple. I also wet-wipe, and I use lotion to aid in the cleaning process.

Yeah, it sounds a bit weird, but it gets everything out, and I've never had a hemorrhoid in my life. Itchy ass syndrome (IAS) has also never been a problem for me, not since I started wiping this way back in 1997, when I was nine years old.

I understand the connection with lotion and NIA (non-itchy ass), but where do hemorrhoids figure in? I though the only shitting-related feature that affected hemorrhoids, or their absence, was the amount of straining you employ in order to relieve yourself, and not the cleansing procedure afterwards, but I'll love to be educated more if someone can provide.

Sowwy, m'ss.
You'll be excused the second you promise chocolate.

However, this thread does strike me as rather odd. I can't say I'd ever thought about it until a similar thread was started a while back. Folding or wrapping just seems not worth the effort.
Somehow, I often hear the words "rather odd" in conjunction with descriptions of me, or my deeds. P.S.: I wasn't aware of any similar thread. Hmpf.

Why would you fold it? It isn't a science fair experiment, just ball it up and go. Unless its taking a long time and I'm bored or something....

See, and this is where the poll comes in handy.. it nicely shows you that it's not just as easy as "just crumple and go" for must of us. (Also, it goves the ad people a handy overview of people potentially interested in ass-wiping behavior. Yes, my tenth option has been bought by OMAC)

I fold. Also, I'll totally send you chocolate.

Now THAT's the kind of answer that gets you into heaven, people.

I'm a folder from the UK.

I fold. Also, I'll totally send you chocolate.
Now THAT's the kind of answer that gets you into heaven, people.
I don't know if I'd be willing to accept an offer of chocolate that was made during a discussion of toilets.

Folded. And the occasional luxury of those moist wipes.

Hey, my butt likes'em - who am I to disagree?

We wash our perinea with soap and water. TP only won't do.

I don't know if I'd be willing to accept an offer of chocolate that was made during a discussion of toilets.
Yeah, I'm shamelessly standard-less when it comes to chocolate. I buy ridiculously high-priced whole-food, organic groceries, but with choclate, I accept all and any kinds and offers.
We wash our perinea with soap and water. TP only won't do.
Who's "we"?

Who's "we"?
Most of the people I know. I may be over-generalizing, but AFAIK in many Asian cultures, people like to wash their perinea after defecating.

You'll be excused the second you promise chocolate.

That is a very good idea. Hmm, now let me see if there's any left in this house...

Somehow, I often hear the words "rather odd" in conjunction with descriptions of me, or my deeds. P.S.: I wasn't aware of any similar thread. Hmpf.

I often tell people I'm weird. They agree with me. Perhaps it's a good quality to have. Not that I've ever discussed TP habits with them (though maybe I'll start using that acronym indiscriminately from now on).

I believe Smunk started the last one, but that was probably over a year ago.

I do not believe I ever sat in a toilet cubicle and watched either of my parents take a dump.
And if I did, I am immensely thankful my brain has managed to wipe (excuse the pun) that memory completely.

I was more thinking that, unless you started self-diapering before you could crawl, you probably were aware of - at the very least - parents changing your diapers - and maybe, introducing you to 'what to do' on the actual can.

I do not fold, wrap or crumple during my arse-wiping, I tend to just sit and wipe, without changing my shape in any way.

English crumpler.

Loofahs are washable, thus reusable.

Good for the environment, can't see the downside really.

*tries to picture Barringtonia at a public restroom washing a used loofa*

You'll be excused the second you promise chocolate.
I would avoid soliciting "chocolate" in a thread about pooping habits.

I would avoid soliciting "chocolate" in a thread about pooping habits.
Will white chocolate be safe?

Folding sounds like some sort of obsessive-compulsive behavior.

It's hard to tell from the descriptions alone whether I crumple or wrap. Often, and lately for some reason, I'll wrap it around my hand for ease of getting off the roller, and then crumple it up. Other times I just crumple it up. Usually I'll do the wrapping when I have a really big, messy and/or otherwise alarming defecation and so require larger than normal amounts of tissues - wrapping it around your hand is the quickest and simplest way to get it off the roll. I guess you could say I just crumple normally and only resort to wrapping in poop emergency situations. But I can't imagine any situation in which I'd fold it all neatly.

This is a great topic, I could discuss my poop habits all day.

There are also other differences in how people use the toilet.
Like if they put TP on the bottom for minimizing the splash and sound.
Which way they wipe.
and aforementioned use of TP.

I put TP on the bottom,
Fold the paper (about 4 squares of TP) once first .
Wipe forwards first, then back,repeat a few times and fold again and start over.

I also often read when using the can.
Even though that would make me more liable to contract hemorrhoids.

While this forum allows conversations about any and everything,
I did not see this one coming.

Continental Europe as opposed to Mainland?
I'm from the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, anyway.
And I fold.

I also read a chapter or two of a book, generally, whilst in the process, as well.

I believe Smunk started the last one, but that was probably over a year ago.

I vividly remember the "loo thread", and my eager participation in it (it ran simultaneously to the penis thread, which was a great adventure, too), but I thought it had been about a different loo aspect.. alebit after the gazillion of pages that thread achieved, we probably discussed all and any loo aspects one could think of, up to and including TP.

I do not fold, wrap or crumple during my arse-wiping, I tend to just sit and wipe, without changing my shape in any way.

This opens up a whole 'nother line of questioning: Do you remain seated while arse-wiping, do you sorta shift, or do you actually get up, or what else do you do with your physical position to ease the butt-cleansing process and achieve best access?

F[...] alarming defecation [...]poop emergency situations[...]
This is a great topic, I could discuss my poop habits all day.
Your genuinely awesome wording makes that last comment truly believable. Welcome to the thread, and let yourself go!

There are also other differences in how people use the toilet.
Like if they put TP on the bottom for minimizing the splash and sound. Which way they wipe, and aforementioned use of TP.
Absolutely, and all very worthwile discussion topics.

For the record, I:

- have recently (as of, say, half a year ago) started to put TP in the bowl first to avoid defecational splash, too. (I know that the Swedish even have a word for that sheet of TP you use for that function, but I cannot remember it). I have found, however, that it poses a considerable timing effort for me to coordinate #1 and #2 so that I get the TP in place in time for it to be effective, yet not so early that it'd be rendered ineffective again due to pee sogginess. 'tis a science, nay, an art, I tell you.

- wipe backwards (I'm a lady) once, fold again, wipe backwards again etc.


While this forum allows conversations about any and everything,I did not see this one coming.

I aim to please.

Wasn't there a poll on this not too long ago?

I seem to remember this topic but can't be arsed* to look for it.

*no coincidence.

Wasn't there a poll on this not too long ago?

I seem to remember this topic but can't be arsed* to look for it.

*no coincidence.

Yeah, like, as recently as, like, yesterday. It's still at the top of this page if you want to look at it.

... ;P

I suspect the most used method in different places depends on the average TP softness there. Crumpling with cardboard-like TP doesn't seem like a good idea.

Actually, cardboard-like TP is a bloody bad idea in all ways, probably worse than not using TP at all.

I suspect the most used method in different places depends on the average TP softness there. Crumpling with cardboard-like TP doesn't seem like a good idea.

Actually, cardboard-like TP is a bloody bad idea in all ways, probably worse than not using TP at all.

Yeah, that's another nice TP topic. I like to have 4-layered TP, but I often end up with the 3-layered kind when I don't personally supervise the purchase, and I think at uni they have 2-layered TP.

I aim to please.
as long as you aim too... please.

Yeah, that's another nice TP topic. I like to have 4-layered TP, but I often end up with the 3-layered kind when I don't personally supervise the purchase, and I think at uni they have 2-layered TP.

and 2-layered is better than the single layer of what feels like paper thin plastic.

I don't care about the number of layers (folding is creating more layers), as long as it doesn't feel like sandpaper.

I wonder how many people use the "tailing" technique? (It's like folding, but uses less paper. Fold a few times, leaving a "tail"; use; fold an extra layer; use again; etc).

as long as you aim too... please.
Look, honey, you're talking to a woman who's mastered the art of pissing while standing up, with an aim that can easily hold a candle to your average man's aim.


I wonder how many people use the "tailing" technique? (It's like folding, but uses less paper. Fold a few times, leaving a "tail"; use; fold an extra layer; use again; etc).
This is interesting. I wonder, though: Doesn't the "tail" get wet, and/or touch the inside sides of the bowl when you wipe with the "mainland" wad and have the "tail" hanging off it? (This is, of course, assuming that you resume your seating position while wiping - see question a few posts above - it becomes meaningless for those of us who stand up for all ass-wiping purposes)

Funnily enough, Stumble has just directed me to another TP-related site: Do you hang your TP roll underhand or overhand?

http://currentconfig.com/archives/000083.html

With the way many German TP holders are designed, overhand is the only way that'll actually result in TP being dispensed, yet I absolutely detest that position and will place any TP roll underhand when presented with a holder that allows for it.

Look, honey, you're talking to a woman who's mastered the art of pissing while standing up, with an aim that can easily hold a candle to your average man's aim.
Pics or...

er...

nevermind... :hail:

:hail:

How about you send me chocolate instead of hailing smilies?

I vividly remember the "loo thread", and my eager participation in it (it ran simultaneously to the penis thread, which was a great adventure, too), but I thought it had been about a different loo aspect.. alebit after the gazillion of pages that thread achieved, we probably discussed all and any loo aspects one could think of, up to and including TP.

This is quite possible, all the threads on here seem to merge into vague threadishness after a month or two.

It may be that I read elsewhere (even a news/magazine article) or saw something about it on the TV. Me no remember.

I do find it slightly amusing the lengths people go to to promote absolute cleanliness while using the toilet. However, I'm sure that I am obsessive in other areas (eating for example).

This is interesting. I wonder, though: Doesn't the "tail" get wet, and/or touch the inside sides of the bowl when you wipe with the "mainland" wad and have the "tail" hanging off it? (This is, of course, assuming that you resume your seating position while wiping - see question a few posts above - it becomes meaningless for those of us who stand up for all ass-wiping purposes)

Not if you don't make it too long. Paper doesn't like to bend in a direction 90 degrees from the one it is already bent, that way you can make it stick up instead of hang down.

BTW if you have a "table" style toilet instead of a "splash", there are worse things that can happen to your tail... (that asks for another poll, which type is good and which is disgusting?)

Amazing what one can discuss when hidden safely behind an alias, eh?

How about you send me chocolate instead of hailing smilies?

do you want nut filled kisses (http://tastyisland.wordpress.com/2008/08/11/have-a-macadamia-nut-chocolate-kiss/)?

Amazing what one can discuss when hidden safely behind an alias, eh?

I don't know about you, but I for one do not need to hide behind any sort of alias to discuss toilet topics in all their length and depth. If you read my OP, you'll actually find that this thread is only an online experiment that grew out of a discussion about this very topic with an RL friend.

do you want nut filled kisses (http://tastyisland.wordpress.com/2008/08/11/have-a-macadamia-nut-chocolate-kiss/)?

It must lie in the nature of the thread that my mind went directly into the gutter and made me think you'd ask me about possible preferences for teabagging. But now that your link clarified.. I'm not all that much into nuts in my chocolate, and even less into Hershey's chocolate, but I'll take what I can get ;P Thanks.

So, you would just as easily do this experiment while at the same time posting your real name and address?

So, you would just as easily do this experiment while at the same time posting your real name and address?

I would not "post" anything with my real name and address, regardless of the topic, because I refuse to give this personal, sensitive data out to people I do not know, and shouldn't trust.

I would, however, not have any qualms whatsoever to discuss this very topic, and disclose the same information, face-to-face with people in RL, and/or people who know my personal data.

I find folding gives me the confidence that I won't accidentally push my finger through and end up inadvertently poking my prostate. I estimate fold number based on tissue ply and tensile strength.

I find folding gives me the confidence that I won't accidentally push my finger through and end up inadvertently poking my prostate. I estimate fold number based on tissue ply and tensile strength.

I of course have very limited experience with your very own prostrate, but my experience with other prostrates (and non-prostrate-containing anal cavities) suggests that you'd be very, very unlikely to poke yours accidentally during an uncareful/not properly shielded asswipe (unless, of course, you have a hitherto unheard-of vigorous asswipe technique that involves shoving cleansing devices up your anal opening and twirling around inside it for maximum cleanliness).

I have an abnormally long index finger (like ET, but mine doesn't glow in the dark, it has a brown blob on the end instead if I have the aforementioned 'episode').

And a flabby sphincter.

i'm american---but half german on my ma's side. that may account for my folding tendencies, if your theory is correct.

my da is pure yank though---english from before the revolution. i don't really know---thank god---but i bet he's a crumpler.

i'm american---but half german on my ma's side. that may account for my folding tendencies, if your theory is correct.
Ia this the US-American version of "half German", i.e. one of your mother's relatives immigrated from Germany at some point, or is this the international version, i.e. your mother is German?

my da is pure yank though---english from before the revolution. i don't really know---thank god---but i bet he's a crumpler.

Why don't you ask him - for the sake of scientific progress, of course?

Euro's and OCDs, even in the US, probably tend to fold. :)

I have several obsessive compulsive behaviors mostly caused by a form of Autism. I crumple.

I'd rather not be bothered with wasting time neatly folding the paper... just want to get the whole thing over with.

I have several obsessive compulsive behaviors mostly caused by a form of Autism. I crumple.

I'd rather not be bothered with wasting time neatly folding the paper... just want to get the whole thing over with.

So you're Obsessive about time waste rather than neatness, eh? I guess Obsessiveness comes in all shapes and forms.. even crumpled.

It must lie in the nature of the thread that my mind went directly into the gutter and made me think you'd ask me about possible preferences for teabagging. But now that your link clarified.. I'm not all that much into nuts in my chocolate, and even less into Hershey's chocolate, but I'll take what I can get ;P Thanks.

well... considering how I worded it... :p

well... considering how I worded it... :p

So you led me into temptation quite on purpose, eh? Bad JuNii! No cookie! ;P

So you led me into temptation quite on purpose, eh? Bad JuNii! No cookie! ;P

led nothing.

I was just infront of you. :p

led nothing.

I was just infront of you. :p

With your pants down, singing juicy parts from old country songs. This does not excuse anything, or make anything better, really.

Yes, this thread really is about your individual preferred manner of routinely removing defecation souvenirs from your behind with toilet paper (TP). No one shall accuse me of creating a thread that doesn't deliver.

So a friend told me she watched a documentary on TP (yes, apparently, those things exist, and have an audience), and apart from several educative, scientific TP facts, the show also made a side commentary on how ass-wiping techniques vary across countries/cultures. It seems there are three major ways of preparing your TP for bottom cleansing:

a) Folding. You take an appropriate length of TP, neatly fold it over an individually determined number of times, and use this multi-layered rectangle for all wiping purposes.

b) Wrapping. You prepare your post-excremental rear end wipe by wrapping the TP around your hand several times until desired layeredness/thickness is achieved, pull the resulting wad from the wrapped-up hand and use it. The cleansing device outcome is similar to a), i.e. a multi-layered smooth pad, but the means of getting there vary crucially.

c) Crumpling up. You tear off the amount of TP needed, crumple it into some sort of ball-ish thing, and use this anarchic, literally screwed-up result of your energetic handiwork to wipe it all off.


The documentary said that Germans are most likely to be of the folding kind, while the USA is supposed to be a country of Crumplers. So, what is it for you, and where are you from?

[Poll to come]

I just shove it up my ass and let it take whatever shape it will.

I just shove it up my ass and let it take whatever shape it will.

I assume the shoving process will involve a certain amount of crumpling.

I just shove it up my ass and let it take whatever shape it will.
And I have a new sig! Wahoo!

With your pants down, singing juicy parts from old country songs. This does not excuse anything, or make anything better, really.

HEY! those are parts from old FILK songs! much more juicier than country.

I wrap usually and crumple occasionally. Wrapping is just fastest.

I wrap usually and crumple occasionally. Wrapping is just fastest.

... and we all know every second counts with defecation.


... sorry.

... and we all know every second counts with defecation.


... sorry.
Did you have to share a bathroom with three siblings growing up?

Did you have to share a bathroom with three siblings growing up?

Fortunately, no.

Fortunately, no.
If you did, you'd learn to be quick at it.

If you did, you'd learn to be quick at it.

I dunno. I can be one sadistic asshole ( or rather, classhole, as the xkcd nerds among us know), and I bet I'd have had constipation whenever one of my siblings was running late. I'd have used the time to think of ways to avoid revenge and retaliation.

I assume the shoving process will involve a certain amount of crumpling.

I guess, but I don't fold it up into a ball or anything, just scrunch it a little.
And I have a new sig! Wahoo!

Lolz. I was sigged.

So you're Obsessive about time waste rather than neatness, eh? I guess Obsessiveness comes in all shapes and forms.. even crumpled.

Its more of the whole concept of possibly getting poo on my hands. I might have a panic attack... I get sick to my stomach and somtimes I tense up just performing the act of whiping, crumbling expediates the process.

Yes, this thread really is about your individual preferred manner of routinely removing defecation souvenirs from your behind with toilet paper (TP).
I cannot for the life of me think of anything beneficial to the folks of NSG as to how I wipe my ass, so I will pass, so that I don't give you TMI!!

I dub this the shittiest thread I have ever seen on NSG.

Golden Award 4 you.

Golden Award 4 you.

Thanks. Does it come with a medal? Is it wrapped?