NationStates Jolt Archive

I am not making this up.

Three men were shot dead and two others critically wounded in a Durban tavern following an argument over the size of male genitals, police said on Thursday.

Superintendent Muzi Mngomezulu said the shooting took place at the Merseyside Restaurant and Bar at the Queensmead Mall in Durban's Umbilo suburb on Wednesday night.

Five people were arrested in the early hours of Thursday morning. Two of those arrested were found in possession of firearms, which police believe were the weapons used in the shooting. All five were residents of the Phoenix area.

The argument apparently began when a patron of Indian descent made a comment about the size of a white patron's genitals while both were at the tavern's urinals.

An officer, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said: "The white man went to the toilet and an Indian guy followed him. While in the urinal, the Indian man told the white man that his penis was bigger than his (that of the white man).

"The white man left the urinal and told his friends about what had happened and this is when the argument started."

Vulgarities were exchanged and then a group of five Indian men left the restaurant and all five returned with firearms.

Mngomezulu said: "The men opened fire and three victims aged between 30 and 55 years died on the spot. Another two were rushed to St Augustine's Hospital in a critical condition."

The article (http://www.int.iol.co.za/index.php?set_id=1&click_id=15&art_id=nw20080911122421198C156995)

Penis size: a very serious business. Alright men, get your guns out. Then go home and get your rifles, it's war!

The Indian guy was flat out lying. I was there.

Well, I think their response clearly proves that all of them had small penises.

I wonder if Greeks ever killed each other over having large penises :p

was this a Gay bar ???

was this a Gay bar ???

I don't think most gay men would have felt that threatened. Penis size is a very big issue among heteros in sort of a paradoxically homoerotic way.

*facepalm*

I think they should all be castrated. I was going to say they should have mandatory sex changes, but then they'd probably kill each other over how big their boobs are.

I wonder if Greeks ever killed each other over having large penises :p

Don't want to nerd out too much for the moment...

...but actually, in ancient Greek culture a small penis was seen as most desirable. Big ones were always reserved for comical and mocking uses and most commonly assigned to satyrs and dirty, quite ugly old men.

In Rome, however, it was basically the opposite. Figure that one out.

Difference in the tightness of female sexual beavers?

Difference in the tightness of female sexual beavers?

Maybe they were jealous of the Carthaginians...those bastards were probably hung like elephants.

Don't want to nerd out too much for the moment...

...but actually, in ancient Greek culture a small penis was seen as most desirable. Big ones were always reserved for comical and mocking uses and most commonly assigned to satyrs and dirty, quite ugly old men.

In Rome, however, it was basically the opposite. Figure that one out.

That was exactly my meaning. These people killed each other because they had small penises - would Greeks have killed each other to show they have a smaller penis? :p

Now everyone knows the REAL reason cockfights are banned in most of the United States.

That was exactly my meaning. These people killed each other because they had small penises - would Greeks have killed each other to show they have a smaller penis? :p

I always saw the Greeks as more likely to troll their enemies than kill them.

Take Diogenes; he not only lived in a vase in the middle of the marketplace but masturbated in public, flipped people off and shit in the amphitheater. That's how they settled their problems.

I always saw the Greeks as more likely to troll their enemies than kill them.

Take Diogenes; he not only lived in a vase in the middle of the marketplace but masturbated in public, flipped people off and shit in the amphitheater. That's how they settled their problems.

Ah... vestiges of a more civilised age :(

Ah... vestiges of a more civilised age :(

God bless humanity.

I always saw the Greeks as more likely to troll their enemies than kill them.

Take Diogenes; he not only lived in a vase in the middle of the marketplace but masturbated in public, flipped people off and shit in the amphitheater. That's how they settled their problems.

You know, I like their style. We need more RL trolling.

Wow. Usually dick size is the subconscious reason why men kill eachother. Now it's the conscious reason. We're making progress!! :D

*facepalm*

I think they should all be castrated. I was going to say they should have mandatory sex changes, but then they'd probably kill each other over how big their boobs are.or the depths of their...

er....

moving on...

Wow. Usually dick size is the subconscious reason why men kill eachother. Now it's the conscious reason. We're making progress!! :D
George Carlin would be soo proud.

So they argued about their dick sizes then fucked each other over with penis shaped bullets...

You know, I like their style. We need more RL trolling.

Yeah, seriously.

So an Indian and a White Man go into a bar...

So an Indian and a White Man go into a bar...

and one comes out in a body bag.

in Britain the public aren't allowed such large armaments :wink:

I don't think most gay men would have felt that threatened. Penis size is a very big issue among heteros in sort of a paradoxically homoerotic way.

don't lie

Penis size: a very serious business. Alright men, get your guns out. Then go home and get your rifles, it's war!

Size Matters.

Size Matters.

You know, you have one of the most awesome nation names/forum handles I've ever seen. :hail:

You know, you have one of the most awesome nation names/forum handles I've ever seen. :hail:

Thank You.

was this a Gay bar ???

Let's start a war. Let's start a nuclear war. At the gay bar, gay bar, gay bar.

Maybe they were jealous of the Carthaginians...those bastards were probably hung like elephants.

Best joke in the thread.

Take Diogenes; he not only lived in a vase in the middle of the marketplace but masturbated in public, flipped people off and shit in the amphitheater. That's how they settled their problems.

He wasn't trolling--he was philosophizing praxically. And Diogenes was, well, pretty unique.

I don't think most gay men would have felt that threatened. Penis size is a very big issue among heteros in sort of a paradoxically homoerotic way.

just wodnering why they were checking each other out in the bath room.

I always saw the Greeks as more likely to troll their enemies than kill them.

Take Diogenes; he not only lived in a vase in the middle of the marketplace but masturbated in public, flipped people off and shit in the amphitheater. That's how they settled their problems.

So how was Diogenes any different from the homeless guy that lives in the nearby park?

So how was Diogenes any different from the homeless guy that lives in the nearby park?

People actually took notes on Diogenes's rants.

People actually took notes on Diogenes's rants.

I wonder if the park-man would mind if I did that. I could become the Plato to his Socrates.

So long as I can be Aristotle, I'm all for it.

I wonder if the park-man would mind if I did that. I could become the Plato to his Socrates.

So, you want to have sex with young boys?

So, you want to have sex with young boys?

If he registered as a Republican nobody would notice.

:tongue:

Isn't it obvious? The guy with the biggest gun there had the smallest dick.
It's been scientifically proven.

So, you want to have sex with young boys?

Do they like gladiator movies?

This sounds similar to the story of a Texas American college football fan nearly ripping the scrotum of an Arkansas college football fan over whose team would beat the other's.

Of course, it could be that the Arkansas fan almost castrated the Texas fan, but I know the story, at least, is correct. -_-

I think they should all be castrated. I was going to say they should have mandatory sex changes, but then they'd probably kill each other over how big their boobs are.

Shouldn't it be "eviration" or "penectomy" instead of "castration"?

Anyway,
"Non lungo che tocchi, non largo che sforzi, ma duro che duri".
(more or less, Not so long that it touches, non so wide that it blocks, but hard that lasts)