NationStates Jolt Archive

Why would some women still talk to their mothers, even if their mothers were neglectful and look the other way if the father or step father was abusive?

So far, the only answer I've gotten is that I wouldn't understand because I have dangly parts instead of the "fun hole".

The only real answer my mind can come up with is that if the father is abusive to the daughter, then whats to stop him from being abusive to the mother?

Thoughts?

Mybe because everyone loves the mommy?

Mybe because everyone loves the mommy?

Yea, when the mommy is actually a mommy. But what if she's not?

Why do some people take specific instances in their circle of family and friends' lives and act as if they apply to the rest of the world, painting all members of whatever group their friends fit into as exactly like the one instance?

Humans are complicated, family ties can cause the greatest conflict between rational thought and emotional pull.

Why would some women still talk to their mothers, even if their mothers were neglectful and look the other way if the father or step father was abusive?


To punish you for your mangled syntax. It's karma, man. Karma.

because she is still her mother. everyone wants to love their mother and be loved by her. so some keep at it even after its obvious that their mother isnt ever going to be a good mother.

Yea, when the mommy is actually a mommy. But what if she's not?

How is a mommy NOT a mommy? :confused:

How is a mommy NOT a mommy? :confused:
When someone disapproves of them, apparently.

Why do some people take specific instances in their circle of family and friends' lives and act as if they apply to the rest of the world, painting all members of whatever group their friends fit into as exactly like the one instance?

I don't know we just do.

When someone disapproves of them, apparently.

How is a mommy NOT a mommy? :confused:

Or when they don't act like mothers. Like your drug addicts, your neglectfuls, abusers, etc.

Any guy can get a girl pregnant but it takes a real man to be a father.
Any gal can get pregnant, but it takes a real woman to be a mother.

Just because you got someone pregnant, or got pregnant yourself, doesn't automatically make you parents.

and why the Hell did they take away multi-quoting?

"The heart has reasons that the reason knows not." Blaise Pascal.

it's that damn hive mind acting up again.

If some women show this behavior and some women tell you that you wouldn't understand, maybe it is that these certain women don't want to talk about it, or that it is none of your business, or that they tried and you actually don't get it. Regardless, no one on here will be able to explain it, especially if they can't.

Why does anyone forgive the people in their lives whom they love, even if it doesn't seem logical? Even if it doesn't *seem* like there's a good reason to love them at all?

Why do people stay in abusive relationships? This applies to both men and women.

Why does anyone give second chances after they've been hurt?

Maybe because they're hoping for something different. Something better. And despite all odds, they're going to keep hoping. That's one possible answer out of millions.

Because in a lot of cases, both the mother and daughter are abused; what may be seen by us as neglect might have been the only way to prevent even worse things from happening. In a lot of cases, the kinds of sick bastards that abuse their spouses and children don't spare one or the other but instead prey on both. The only time it seems to be different is with male children, perhaps because those cowards are afraid their sons will eventually have a far better chance of fighting back against their abuse...

Now, if it's the other way around, I don't know.

Why should someone have to answer you honestly? You don't know their past, and you don't know the full extent of what happened in their day-to-day lives. You also don't know what has happened post-abuse to make them continue to or reconnect with their mothers.

This has nothing directly to do with those people being their mother - but see the below. People tend to forgive people they love if they are given the chance - and the probability that you may not have the chance later makes it easier.

Love between a child and his/her mother is something I cannot comprehend but accept - I certainly like my mother but not because she's my mother (not much of parents neither of them) but because she's a gentle soul and a very intelligent, shrewd woman I look up to. Nevertheless, mothers, fathers, siblings etc. tend to get a "discount" on this term during which the child/sibling works the forgiveness process. This may be because conditioning during childhood or some mystical bond but, yeah, we the humans like and even love our relatives.

Cheerio!

Why would some women still talk to their mothers, even if their mothers were neglectful and look the other way if the father or step father was abusive?
Probably for the same reason men do.

Women are not some strange exotic Other Species.

Some women still talk to a neglectful mother. Some men do, too. Some people have complex family histories and complex emotions and complex relationships with their parents. Some of those people are male, and some are female.

Your problem is that you're trying to make everything into the same moronic Venus/Mars dichotomy, and that dichotomy is bullshit to the core. Lose it and humans will start making much more sense.

Why do some people take specific instances in their circle of family and friends' lives and act as if they apply to the rest of the world, painting all members of whatever group their friends fit into as exactly like the one instance?
Because they are so lazy and self-absorbed that they can't be bothered to actually listen to others and empathize with them as real humans, so they instead try to shoe-horn everybody into quick and dirty stereotypes?

Bottle, please. If you talk that way, people might start to think that women are actual real life, flesh and blood human beings, with complex and nuanced feelings and emotions and that families are complex institutions with varied and convoluted, and often contradictory relationships and dynamics.

And if we started to believe that, we might believe that individuals can’t be lumped together in one broad umbrella, and we wouldn’t be able to, in good conscious, come up with broad, overarching mass generalizations to try and explain relationship dynamics for relationships we may not fully understand, have circumstances we are not aware of, and history we are not privy to. And once that happens, we may actually realize it’s probably best that, instead of doing all that, we just mind our own fucking business

Death first, motherfucker.

Bottle, please. If you talk that way, people might start to think that women are actual real life, flesh and blood human beings, with complex and nuanced feelings and emotions and that families are complex institutions with varied and convoluted, and often contradictory relationships and dynamics.

Oh please, convoluted institutions of contradictory dynamics of nuanced families, my flesh! All men want is to get sex for their money. And all women want is to get money for their sex. That's how the world works.

I don't know...


...but I do know some women who don't talk to their mothers and I know of others who don't either. Although these situations usually seem to be that the girl is being insane when it comes to her family (and often doesn't talk to the rest of them) or has sided with her father in a messy divorce where her mother and father are no longer on speaking terms.

Why would some women still talk to their mothers, even if their mothers were neglectful and look the other way if the father or step father was abusive?

So far, the only answer I've gotten is that I wouldn't understand because I have dangly parts instead of the "fun hole".

The only real answer my mind can come up with is that if the father is abusive to the daughter, then whats to stop him from being abusive to the mother?

Thoughts?

Guilt from both the mother and society at large. I loathe my mother and she is and was just like you described, and yet, I just got off the phone with her. I would love to never speak to her again. However, she's sick and alone and blah blah blah and she's my "only mother" and blah blah blah........

Wilgrove, your post history could be seen as an admirable, if misguided, attempt to define the world around you in terms you can easily grasp and generalizations upon which you can solidly depend.

I'm sorry to break this to you (and I can't imagine I'm the only one to try), but life is far messier than even the most concerted attempts to put it in boxes. You're just going to have to live with the fact that at least half of the time, life in general, and people in particular, are under no realistic demands to adhere to behavior that makes sense to you.

On this particular question, without your post history, I'd swear you were just a trollish, disgruntled boyfriend who's mate has done something you don't understand, and who is looking for some outside help to make it all nice and simple. I'll wager that it gets no simpler than "women are crazy" -- that takes the responsibility for understanding off of all men everywhere, doesn't it? But c'mon, when are interpersonal relationships of any kind ever that simple? And if they are that simple, how deep are they?

Just for a moment, turn your OP question around and ask it of men. Why do men continue to be father-pleasers long after they've escaped the physical orbit of Dad's gravity? There are so many stereotypes to choose from: the absent father who didn't seem to care at all, the abusive father who belittled at every opportunity in order to keep from being outshone by his progeny, the vicariously-living father who pushes his son to be everything he wasn't instead of anything he wants to be...and so on.

I'm not faulting you for asking the OP question, Willy. I think it's always best to ask, even if you think the question makes you seem foolish. The world is already too full of people who don't bother to ask at all and just take every assumption as Scriptural fact. Those people never grow and usually wind up wondering why life is so disappointing. So kudos to you for being brave enough to click "Submit Reply", and for never being discouraged by even the harshest of NSG rebukes.

That said, Bottle & Co. have got your answer dead to rights. If an exhortation from me to please read well what they've already typed here is worth anything, consider this such an exhortation.

Oh please, convoluted institutions of contradictory dynamics of nuanced families, my flesh! All men want is to get sex for their money. And all women want is to get money for their sex. That's how the world works.

Type for yourself.

Type for yourself.
It's called "worldwide labor exchange". I type for others, they type for me.

Oh please, convoluted institutions of contradictory dynamics of nuanced families, my flesh! All men want is to get sex for their money. And all women want is to get money for their sex. That's how the world works.
what does that have to do with putting up with an abusive mother?

what does that have to do with putting up with an abusive mother?

Well, unless we speak of the unspeakable, neither the mother nor the daughter can offer one another either sex for money or money for sex, and thus have no business meeting each other.

Well, unless we speak of the unspeakable, neither the mother nor the daughter can offer one another either sex for money or money for sex, and thus have no business meeting each other.

Okay, I know you don't actually believe this crap. Your forum "character" has grown tiresome, especially in this particular thread's context.

Okay, I know

Well, you see, when a woman has sex with a man and takes money for it, she provides a paid service, thus contributing to the nation's GDP.

However, when there is no monetary exchange, the GDP is not increased, so the economy suffers.
It's then pretty clear what behavior should be encouraged in order to achieve greater HDI.
Consequently, if it increases HDI, it means that's what human development is aiming for.

Well, you see, when a woman has sex with a man and takes money for it, she provides a paid service, thus contributing to the nation's GDP.

However, when there is no monetary exchange, the GDP is not increased, so the economy suffers.
It's then pretty clear what behavior should be encouraged in order to achieve greater HDI.
Consequently, if it increases HDI, it means that's what human development is aiming for.

Uh-huh.

Waiter, check please.

check please.
Here you go sir. $169, to be paid through the Internet Bank of Internet.

Please be sure to apply to GNAA for a $40 rebate.

Well, unless we speak of the unspeakable, neither the mother nor the daughter can offer one another either sex for money or money for sex, and thus have no business meeting each other.
that doesnt make any sense.

Why do some people take specific instances in their circle of family and friends' lives and act as if they apply to the rest of the world, painting all members of whatever group their friends fit into as exactly like the one instance?

Because every once in a while Wilgrove seems to forget that NSG is not his blog.