NationStates Jolt Archive

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7597835.stm

Okay it is cut and paste spam...

An Asian elephant that became addicted to heroin after being fed bananas spiked with the drug is to return home after undergoing a detox programme.

But will it stay off the smack, or return to burglary and breaking ionto cars to fund its habit?

Must be particularly hard for an elephant to beat addiction long-term. Can never forget the pleasure of the drug high...

For some reason, I have a feeling the amount of heroin they had to use was worth more than any potential products from the elephant.

What possible use could someone have for a heroin-addicted elephant? The only thing I can think of is that pimps in China are getting really desperate because of the small number of women.

I would say rather some women might be... dissatisfied with weeners.

What possible use could someone have for a heroin-addicted elephant?

That same thought crossed my mind.

Maybe it's was the pet of a drug lord and he wanted to keep the elephant near him at all times, kind of like a confidence booster, or a delusion of friendship.

Imagine the needle for the elephant for it just to feel anything... 0.0

What a waste of perfectly good heroin.

Imagine the needle for the elephant for it just to feel anything... 0.0

forget the needle... can you imagine how much would be needed before any effects are felt.

What possible use could someone have for a heroin-addicted elephant?

In order to answer that, I actually read the article as linked by Rambhutan. Here's your answer, freshly quoted from BBC News:

It is thought that the traders fed the elephant bananas laced with heroin to capture and control it.

In order to answer that, I actually read the article as linked by Rambhutan. Here's your answer, freshly quoted from BBC News:
Yeah, I read that too, and it explains the how of the elephant-napping, but not the why.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/asia-pacific/7597835.stm

Okay it is cut and paste spam...



But will it stay off the smack, or return to burglary and breaking ionto cars to fund its habit?
Bet it was quite a challenge to get that monkey off it's back.

Yeah, I read that too, and it explains the how of the elephant-napping, but not the why.

An elephant is a rather big animal, in case you hadn't noticed. When you can use drugs to keep humans under control, why not do the same with an elephant? As far as I understood, it was the trader's intention to sell the animal for a healthy profit, even though they undermined the health of their merchandise.

We need to find out exactly what sort of detox program it went through. Because anything that can make an elephant of all things clean and sober just might have a shot at working on Lindsay Lohan and all the other media celebrities here.

It could even work for Amy Winehouse, even though I don't know for sure if she's still alive.

An elephant is a rather big animal, in case you hadn't noticed. When you can use drugs to keep humans under control, why not do the same with an elephant?
Yes, so you've got control of the elephant. Now what do you do with it? Use it as a mount for your next daring bank robbery? That would make you a bit easy to find when you tried to get away.
As far as I understood, it was the trader's intention to sell the animal for a healthy profit, even though they undermined the health of their merchandise.
They kept it for three years. Three years of keeping a heroin addicted elephant alive and addicted, there is no way that you can make that amount of money back on a sale.

Yes, so you've got control of the elephant. Now what do you do with it? Use it as a mount for your next daring bank robbery? That would make you a bit easy to find when you tried to get away.

"Quick, get to the elephant!!!"

Sure, it'd be fucking stupid, but that's why it's so goddamn funny.

"Quick, get to the elephant!!!"

Sure, it'd be fucking stupid, but that's why it's so goddamn funny.

It just made me think of this (http://www.delta-green.com/humor/s8_rhino.html) hilarious article:

They kept it for three years. Three years of keeping a heroin addicted elephant alive and addicted, there is no way that you can make that amount of money back on a sale.

Hell, just keeping an elephant for three years has to cost a ton of money. The profit margin can't be that big, especially if it takes you that long to sell the son of a bitch.

Hell, just keeping an elephant for three years has to cost a ton of money. The profit margin can't be that big, especially if it takes you that long to sell the son of a bitch.

They may very well have been using it as a tourist attraction, the article is very scanty on what they were doing with it during this time.

Also, heroin is cheap as chips in South West China, you've the Mekong River production centre and the Afghan production centre fairly nearby.

If you traipse around Xishuanbanna, which is sort of South-Central-East China, practically everyone's hooked.

It just made me think of this (http://www.delta-green.com/humor/s8_rhino.html) hilarious article:

That sounds as insane as something I'd come up with. Well, almost.

There's not enough nudity and random buttsex.

They may very well have been using it as a tourist attraction, the article is very scanty on what they were doing with it during this time.

Also, heroin is cheap as chips in South West China, you've the Mekong River production centre and the Afghan production centre fairly nearby.

If you traipse around Xishuanbanna, which is sort of South-Central-East China, practically everyone's hooked.

Good point, it is on the eastern edge of the Golden Triangle.

"Quick, get to the elephant!!!"

Sure, it'd be fucking stupid, but that's why it's so goddamn funny.
I was thinking something more like having the elephant smash through the front door of a bank. It would certainly have the advantage of surprise.
BANK TELLER #1: Hey, #2, what's that ominous rumbling?
BANK TELLER #2: I don't know, #1, but WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT CHARGING AT US!?!
BANK TELLER #1: ELEPHANT! ELEPHANT ATTACK! SOMEONE HIT THE SILENT ALARM!
BANK TELLER #2: Oh god, oh god, oh god. My mother swore that nothing like this would happen to me if I took up banking.

I was thinking something more like having the elephant smash through the front door of a bank. It would certainly have the advantage of surprise.
BANK TELLER #1: Hey, #2, what's that ominous rumbling?
BANK TELLER #2: I don't know, #1, but WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT CHARGING AT US!?!
BANK TELLER #1: ELEPHANT! ELEPHANT ATTACK! SOMEONE HIT THE SILENT ALARM!
BANK TELLER #2: Oh god, oh god, oh god. My mother swore that nothing like this would happen to me if I took up banking.

If The Dark Knight had been made in 1968 instead of 2008, you know the opening sequence would have been like this.

They may very well have been using it as a tourist attraction, the article is very scanty on what they were doing with it during this time.

Oh, the possibilities are endless. What about pachyderm fetishists and their unusual needs, for example? Sooner or later their urges need fulfillment. Think about it. Think about it real hard.

Oh, the possibilities are endless. What about pachyderm fetishists and their unusual needs, for example? Sooner or later their urges need fulfillment. Think about it. Think about it real hard.

If they have a fetish for being fucked by elephants, they could have stayed in the United States for the past 8 years.

:D

Idly wonders what a rhino on angel dust or crack cocaine would be like...