NationStates Jolt Archive

Alien survival guide (http://www.aliensurvivalguide.net/)





This website is designed to prepare you for the battle of your life. A battle with an adversary so ruthlessly cunning that he largely stays off the front pages of your newspapers and media broadcasts. Despite wreaking havoc in the lives of countless people around the globe, his name is not on the lips of those you pass in the street. His insidious work goes on night after night, plucking hapless sleepers from their beds and whisking unwary travellers into the night sky. Forever vigilant, always elusive.

We speak, of course, of aliens, the extraterrestrial scourge that has mercilessly tormented humanity for generations. Whether you have yet to have an alien encounter or have been the victim of repeated abductions, this site promises to provide you with practical, hands-on solutions to the ever-present alien threat.

Don't wait until you feel their gangly fingers round your throat. You owe it to yourself, your family and humaity to prepare for the inevitable intergalactic showdown.

It is always good to be prepared. ;) I mean seriously, if gnomes can lock you in your house what more for extra terrestrials?

How to locate and remove alien implants? I'm not sure I want to read that one....:D

Call me a race traitor, but I plan on saving my ass through collaboration with the invaders. Perhaps they could set up my administration in some kind of towering Citadel in Eastern Europe...

I'll be back, I need to go get my black turtleneck out of the dryer and pick up my sport coats from the dry cleaners.

The only defense from aliens is X-Com.

Or Linton.

Call me a race traitor, but I plan on saving my ass through collaboration with the invaders. Perhaps they could set up my administration in some kind of towering Citadel in Eastern Europe...

I'll be back, I need to go get my black turtleneck out of the dryer and pick up my sport coats from the dry cleaners.

The aliens would save everyone's asses. All for the sake of probing and alien impregnation of course.

DUNNNNNN DUNNNNNN DUNNNNNN

The only defense from aliens is X-Com.

Or Linton.

Or pwnage.

Back to the topic, all of those except fot the fingers round your neck part have happened to me, but I haven't been abducteegfnhgnbbfnhifjijifhghiu DEAR GOD, NO, ARRRRRGH SRGK,WRKGDF78S,.;.

I'll just lock them in my closet or pantry, problem solved.

I'll just lock them in my closet or pantry, problem solved.

Then what if they come out of the closet. OH NOES! :eek:

Then what if they come out of the closet. OH NOES! :eek:

That's why I have the water gun ready.

*pumps super soaker*

Reese's Pieces, soaked in cyanide or another suitable poison, are the first line of defense.

Baseball bats are the last.

I ain't 'fraid of no alien.

I'll just call these people. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxyhmx-DT44)

There is no escape. The aliens and the Illuminati have made a mutually beneficial pact ages ago. All your world are belong to us!

Yeah, I went there.

The aliens would save everyone's asses. All for the sake of probing and alien impregnation of course.

DUNNNNNN DUNNNNNN DUNNNNNN

Probing and weird alien sex, you say?

*Makes "land here" and "willing volunteer" signs*

Probing and weird alien sex, you say?

*Makes "land here" and "willing volunteer" signs*



Alien preggers aint pleasant. :eek: *remembers Silvey Susies belly expansion scene from Xtro* Brrrrr. *shudders*

Don't forget the other uses our alien overlords have for abductees: spare parts for biotechnological machinery.

This thread saddens me. Extraterrestrials are only represented as a threat to humankind; the possibility that they could be benovelent and that we could learn from them is totally discounted. If aliens made contact and were subjected to this level of open prejudice they could easily sue for spacism.

Most aliens seems to be allergic to water or gold or ham or some other such mundane substance. So I'm really not that concerned.

This thread saddens me. Extraterrestrials are only represented as a threat to humankind; the possibility that they could be benovelent and that we could learn from them is totally discounted. If aliens made contact and were subjected to this level of open prejudice they could easily sue for spacism.

You should look into Raelianism. One of their bishops gave me this very sentiment while we were shooting pool.

This thread saddens me. Extraterrestrials are only represented as a threat to humankind; the possibility that they could be benovelent and that we could learn from them is totally discounted. If aliens made contact and were subjected to this level of open prejudice they could easily sue for spacism.

"As I would like to remind all of you, humanity stands on the brink of the greatest social and technological transformation since our distant ancestors first turned their guttural glossolalia in to primitive strands of language, building the very bridges of human progress that have led us to the benevolence of this new order.

For the first time in our history, humanity stands at a bridge between immortality and extinction, and only the Universal Union that small minds refer to as "the Combine" can safely bring us across that divide...."

I'm getting pretty good.

"As I would like to remind all of you, humanity stands on the brink of the greatest social and technological transformation since our distant ancestors first turned their guttural glossolalia in to primitive strands of language, building the very bridges of human progress that have led us to the benevolence of this new order.

For the first time in our history, humanity stands at a bridge between immortality and extinction, and only the Universal Union that small minds refer to as "the Combine" can safely bring us across that divide...."

I'm getting pretty good.*Gives a free ice cream cone made of 24k gold.*

Here to my fellow nerd!

This thread saddens me. Extraterrestrials are only represented as a threat to humankind; the possibility that they could be benovelent and that we could learn from them is totally discounted. If aliens made contact and were subjected to this level of open prejudice they could easily sue for spacism.

Any alien species that comes here, takes a look at how we treat other lifeforms and even our own and then doesn't proceed to exterminate us would be silly.