NationStates Jolt Archive

Make up or post your favorite top 10 lists here!

Top 10 Ways to Tell You're a Failed Superhero

10. Controlling the weather is easy for you, but going to a portable public toilet... not so easy.

9. You like to dress in tight costumes and climb tall buildings, but can't escape from being arrested afterwards.

8. When you list your web making ability on your CV, people ask you what websites you created.

7. You are missing the gear in your super speed that turns back time.

6. The only use for X-ray vision you can think of is to peek at people's bodies under their clothes.

5. You can only defeat super-villians by out-drinking them.

4. You always fall on your head when hanging upside-down to kiss girls.

3. People keep telling you Halloween is over

2. Other superheroes laugh and call you names because you don't have any real super powers

1. Your battlecry is "Not the face!"

2. Other superheroes laugh and call you names because you don't have any real super powers

Ooh, like Aquaman! *Put up his flame shield for the "Aquaman" fanboys (not that there are any, but just in case)*

1. Your battlecry is "Not the face!"

I seriously had to stop laughing to breathe reading this. And that's saying soemthing, because I usually don't laugh much. Once I get used to a type of comedy, it doesn't seem funny anymore (That takes about 100 combined hours of being subject to that type of comedy, which is why, after watching all the Home Alone movies, I got tired of slapstick comedy.)

I try :). I aint no LG but I have my moments.

I haven't failed! All the other superheroes have! *runs off crying*

1. Your battlecry is "Not the face!"

umm...

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/d/da/Arthur1.JPG/150px-Arthur1.JPG

Ooh, like Aquaman! *Put up his flame shield for the "Aquaman" fanboys (not that there are any, but just in case)*...I seriously had to stop laughing to breathe reading this...

Ehh, he's just pretty to look at. Also, ageed Aquaman really needs... well... another overhaul. One more thing: "seriously;" seriously? I mean it's a count down list.

According to Entourage the Aqua-Man movie kicked ass.

Unless Adrain Grenier (Vincent Chase) bleached his hair and dawned a thong that comment will just remain as fiction.

Nice thread idea. I hope I'll contribute my own "lists" later on.

http://www.bubblegun.com/topten/index.html :D

THINGS NOT TO SAY TO THE POLICEMAN WHO HAS JUST STOPPED YOUR CAR

10. "You facists always pick on us drunks."
9. "I’ll sit on your face if you promise to let me go."
8. "Oh, God. It’s about the murder, isn’t it?"
7. "Don’t look in the boot!"
6. "Well of course I was swerving across the road - I’ve had ten pints."
5. "B-b-f-f-b-f-fuck. F-f-fuck it. Wha’ wasch I schaying?"
4. "There’s a gun under my seat and I’m not afraid to use it."
3. "Do you want to have a race?"
2. "Okay, I’ll blow into the tube, but only if you do an impression of a duck."
1. "Crush! Kill! Maim!"

Top 10 Reasons for Apathy

10. Ahhh, fuck it...

I don't think I'm going to be any good at this.

Top 10 Reasons to cut down on smoking pot:

10. When people walk into your apartment they say "woah, what is that smell?".
9. You look at your bank statement and all of your money is spent at the local Indian place.
8. All of your photographs are taken whilst high.
7. You can't remember whether you brushed your teeth this morning.
6. You repeat things you've already said to the same person.
6. You repeat things you've already said to the same person.
5. When you look at your carpet, you have trouble differentiating between fallen bits of pot and specs of taco mince.
4. You wake up with chocolate wrappers in your bed and you have no idea how they got there.
3. Your exercise regime consists of walking to the 7-11 for Doritos.
2. Everything you wear is tye-died.
1. When you go out to lunch with your mum, you order two slices of cake, a milkshake and a side of chips, then ask her to do her Donald Duck impression, then ask her whether you've ordered.

I don't think I'm going to be any good at this.

Top 10 Reasons to cut down on smoking pot:

10. When people walk into your apartment they say "woah, what is that smell?".
9. You look at your bank statement and all of your money is spent at the local Indian place.
8. All of your photographs are taken whilst high.
7. You can't remember whether you brushed your teeth this morning.
6. You repeat things you've already said to the same person.
6. You repeat things you've already said to the same person.
5. When you look at your carpet, you have trouble differentiating between fallen bits of pot and specs of taco mince.
4. You wake up with chocolate wrappers in your bed and you have no idea how they got there.
3. Your exercise regime consists of walking to the 7-11 for Doritos.
2. Everything you wear is tye-died.
1. When you go out to lunch with your mum, you order two slices of cake, a milkshake and a side of chips, then ask her to do her Donald Duck impression, then ask her whether you've ordered.

lol! i love number 10 :D

Top 10 reasons why you need a newer computer:
10. It might be advantageous to make directories
9. While they say that size does not matter, 4 kilobytes of RAM are too small
8. The nerds from Winhistory.de* want to install Vista on your computer
7. You are running out of 8 inch floppies
6. Mobile phones have quicker processors
5. You are tired of bugs between the vacuum tubes
4. Your computer takes so long to boot that the average Windows 95 is already bluescreened before it started
3. Your not technology-savvy parents have better computers
2. Your grandma has a better one as well
1. It is too slow for Colossal Cave!

* at winhistory.de is a competition to search the minimal system requirements with which Windows (in various versions) still somehow works.

I don't think I'm going to be any good at this.

Top 10 Reasons to cut down on smoking pot:

7. You can't remember whether you brushed your teeth this morning.
6. You repeat things you've already said to the same person.
6. You repeat things you've already said to the same person.


Someone must be slipping me pot without me knowing it. That or I just have a terrible memory.

top ten gun manufacturers

10.Glock.
9.Beretta.
8.Mauser.
7.Israeli Weapon Industries.
6.Benelli.
5.Colt.
4.Steyr.
3.Fabrique Nationale.
2.Accuracy International.
1.Heckler & Koch.

Top Ten things to NOT say to the wife!

10. Do you remember the Tunnel of love on my birthday? My mistake.... that was your sister!
9. Do you remember that romantic meal in Vienna? Damn... that was your other sister!
8. No, you don't look fat in that dress...... You look fat in ALL your dresses.
7. About 350.... Oh, sorry... did you say how many women did I sleep with BEFORE I met you? That would be just the three then.
6. You look better without glasses. *removes his own glasses and squints* You look much better.
5. Hey Honey! You are never going to believe how much money I got for your kids. I had to haggle to sell the fat one, but the other two sold really quickly.
4. I have a secret to tell you, but we are going on the Jerry Springer show first.
3. Can you park my car between those concrete posts?
2. Yes, it was me that put the Wide-Load sticker on your wedding dress.
1. Sure. Just take my credit card and spend what you like.

Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear On Your First Day Of School
From The Tonight Show

10. "Please rise as we pledge allegiance to North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Il"
9. "None of our students have lice -- can't say the same for the cafeteria"
8. "I'm not only your guidance counselor, I'm also the janitor"
7. "Algebra is over -- let's hit the showers"
6. "I'm your teacher, Mrs. Weston. Last year you knew me as Mr. Weston"
5. "So your mom tells me you're a bed-wetter"
4 "Instead of dissecting frogs, we'll be dissecting the body of the late Aleksander Solzhenitsyn"
3. "Grades will be based on how much you leave in my tip jar"
2. "I taught George W. Bush"
1. "Hi, I'm Principal Dick, but you can call me Andy"

top ten ways to determine if a game sucks:
10. Collect-a-thon is not only a major part of the game, it's also the game's genre.
9. It's from the makers of such hits as Ninjabread Man and Anubis II. It's also the same game as Ninjabread Man and Anubis II.
8. The review score is the lowest number you've ever seen in your life.
7. The best thing you can say about it is that it actually works when you put it in the console.
6. You can't even say it works when you put it in the console. You could, but that would be the biggest lie you've ever told and you've told some pretty tall tales.
5. The console spits it out while the words "Oh hell no" flash on the screen accompanied by an angry face.
4. It's given to prisoners when even the worst possible forms of physical and psychological torture are determined to be way too humane.
3. Deaf people cover their ears when you unmute it.
2. The graphics make even the blindest of people vomit in disgust.
1. ET

I don't think I'm going to be any good at this.

Top 10 Reasons to cut down on smoking pot:

10. When people walk into your apartment they say "woah, what is that smell?".
9. You look at your bank statement and all of your money is spent at the local Indian place.
8. All of your photographs are taken whilst high.
7. You can't remember whether you brushed your teeth this morning.
6. You repeat things you've already said to the same person.
6. You repeat things you've already said to the same person.
5. When you look at your carpet, you have trouble differentiating between fallen bits of pot and specs of taco mince.
4. You wake up with chocolate wrappers in your bed and you have no idea how they got there.
3. Your exercise regime consists of walking to the 7-11 for Doritos.
2. Everything you wear is tye-died.
1. When you go out to lunch with your mum, you order two slices of cake, a milkshake and a side of chips, then ask her to do her Donald Duck impression, then ask her whether you've ordered.

Are you following me around?

Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Find In Your Apartment When You Come Home:

A) Beard stubble all over the sink and counter(s)

B) A note reading "Darling, we've got to talk"

C) Condom wrappings of a brand you've never seen before, let alone used, in the trash

D) A post-it stuck to the fridge reading "Sorry, I was hungry"

E) A note on your desk: "Why don't you, uh, use *my* laptop for a while?"

F) A tree. Introduced to you by the words "This is Neo. He'll be living with us for a while."

G) Giant moths. Everywhere.

H) Water. Everywhere.

I) The unmistakable burnt stench of your SO having fallen asleep while cooking.

J) Pressure to finish lists.

Ten things telling you to go to bed.

1. You fall off your swivel chair while thinking up something to post.

2. The bar radiator overheats, shorts and blows the computer screen.

3. Your eyes sting so much you can't read what your typing.

4. Your partner gets out of bed and asks if you got up early.

5. You leave letters of your words.

6. The ringing in your ears is louder than the hum from the computer.

7. Your witty ripostes about Jews / militarism / Americans don't make any sense when you read them back.

8. You can't remember what the thread was you just posted to but you are sure the post will get some immediate responses.

9. You leave out of sentences.

10. Everything you post is funny; everyone else's is stupid.

Top 10 reasons why you need a newer computer:
10. It might be advantageous to make directories
9. While they say that size does not matter, 4 kilobytes of RAM are too small
8. The nerds from Winhistory.de* want to install Vista on your computer
7. You are running out of 8 inch floppies
6. Mobile phones have quicker processors
5. You are tired of bugs between the vacuum tubes
4. Your computer takes so long to boot that the average Windows 95 is already bluescreened before it started
3. Your not technology-savvy parents have better computers
2. Your grandma has a better one as well
1. It is too slow for Colossal Cave!

* at winhistory.de is a competition to search the minimal system requirements with which Windows (in various versions) still somehow works.

additional

* you have to get off the computer because people want to watch the news on your monitor (old computers like the Timex Sinclair used to be hooked up to the tv.)

* Reorganizing your data means spending time looking at a bunch of cards with square holes in them

* You accidently put your data tape into your walkman and now you are deaf.

* you discover you lost your ability to see green when your monitor screen goes blank

* you can't boot your computer untill you find your boot disk

TOP TEN REJECTED FLAVORS FOR LIFE-SAVERS™ CANDY:

10. #4 Ring-Lock Washer
9. Suck This!
8. Butter Gin
7. Freshly-sharpened Pencil
6. Eggplant
5. Ringworm
4. Marshmallow Habañero
3. Blue Crab
2. Road Apple
1. DisembowelMint

Top ten numbers

10. 10
9. 9
8. 8
7. 7
6. 6
5. 5
4. 4
3. 3
2. 2
and finally...
1. 1

Top Ten things no man wants to hear during sex:

10) "The ceiling needs painting."
9) ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
8) "Your brother is better at this."
7) Can you hurry up? Leno's on."
6) "Oh, Barbara!"
5) "What's that noise?" "Oh, that's just my husband."
4) "Is it in yet?"
3) *points* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
2) "Mommy, why is that man on top of you?"
1) "Oh, God! I think I accidentally took my vitamin!"

Top Ten Sign it may be over for your relationship.

10. Pet names goes from "Snuggle Bunny" to "Tub of Lard"
9. You wake up with mysterious cuts on your arms and throat
8. A double feature usually means you two see separate films
7. The "Iron Wall" refers to the wall between you two in bed
6. Pictures of you two now have bulls eyes on them
5. The condom she wants you to wear is the "Anti-Rape" condom
4. Fight and then Make up is now Fight and Masturbate
3. Introduces you to family and friends as "My Cinder Block"
2. Tunnels are being dug under the house that leads out of the property

Finally the #1 sign that it may be time to call it quits

1. Screams out a name in bed, and it's her best friend's name, and it's a she.

Are you following me around?

Lol, no, just speaking from experience!

Top Ten Sign it may be over for your relationship.

10. Pet names goes from "Snuggle Bunny" to "Tub of Lard"
9. You wake up with mysterious cuts on your arms and throat
8. A double feature usually means you two see separate films
7. The "Iron Wall" refers to the wall between you two in bed
6. Pictures of you two now have bulls eyes on them
5. The condom she wants you to wear is the "Anti-Rape" condom
4. Fight and then Make up is now Fight and Masturbate
3. Introduces you to family and friends as "My Cinder Block"
2. Tunnels are being dug under the house that leads out of the property

Finally the #1 sign that it may be time to call it quits

1. Screams out a name in bed, and it's her best friend's name, and it's a she.

I thought that last one said "and it's his best friend's name", which would probably have been worse than what it actually says. Or not.

Top ten lists:

10. This one.
9. What not to say to an officer while drunk.
8. Whatever LG said.
7. NOT THE FACE!
6. SPOON!
5. The top twelve top ten lists.
4. Is this an actual list, or just randomness?
3. The top four top ten things you don't want to hear on youtube.
2. IT!
1. NI!

Top ten things not to say after a traffic accident.

10. That did exactly what I thought it would
9. Did I do that?
8. Yeah uhh... he did it
7. Red must mean stop
6. Wasn't me
5. Good, now I have an excuse to be late for work.
4. There goes my premiums
3. I have good news and bad news, good news is we are getting a new car...
2. 20 points!

And the #1 thing not to say after a traffic accident:
1. Well you did always want a compact car!

Top ten things not to say after a traffic accident.

10. That did exactly what I thought it would
9. Did I do that?
8. Yeah uhh... he did it
7. Red must mean stop
6. Wasn't me
5. Good, now I have an excuse to be late for work.
4. There goes my premiums
3. I have good news and bad news, good news is we are getting a new car...
2. 20 points!

And the #1 thing not to say after a traffic accident:
1. Well you did always want a compact car!

What about:

"Shouldn't'a had that last six-pack. *belch*"

Ten things telling you to go to bed.

1. You fall off your swivel chair while thinking up something to post.

2. The bar radiator overheats, shorts and blows the computer screen.

3. Your eyes sting so much you can't read what your typing.

4. Your partner gets out of bed and asks if you got up early.

5. You leave letters of your words.

6. The ringing in your ears is louder than the hum from the computer.

7. Your witty ripostes about Jews / militarism / Americans don't make any sense when you read them back.

8. You can't remember what the thread was you just posted to but you are sure the post will get some immediate responses.

9. You leave out of sentences.

10. Everything you post is funny; everyone else's is stupid.

Now I know you have been Reading my mind, especially number 8.

My ten favorite movies of the decade so far(tentatively):

1. Children of Men
2. The Dark Knight
3. An Inconvieniant Truth
4. United 93
5. The Fellowship of the Ring
6. The Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
7. The Two Towers
8. The Return of The King
9. The Simpsons Movie
10. Shrek 2(most unsure of this one)