NationStates Jolt Archive

Here's a dilemma.

I have been asked by my sister to be the Godfather of her son. I have absolutely no Christian belief, and would find it very hard to make the various proclamations involved because

1) I don't believe any of it
2) I don't agree with the sentiment of a lot of it
3) I don't want to lie about it, as it is meaningful to other people

My sister understands that, and says she would understand if I said no, but that it would mean a lot to her if I did.

What do you think? Is it better to stick to my principles and say no, or better to do something that will mean a lot to my sister and family?

(I have no issues with the principle of having some responsibility for my nephew and helping take care of him, and would be proud to, I have issues with the religious theme of 'god father')

For info - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godparent

http://www.cofe.anglican.org/worship/liturgy/commonworship/texts/initiation/baptism.html

Look about a quarter of the way down the page, where it says 'presentation of the candidates' and 'the decision' for the stuff I have to say (although obviously I have to join in with the rest of the service too)

Since I don't know a lot about the subject, could you elaborate on the whole "god father" thing?

Just do it. It will make your family happy, and really doesn't effect you. As an Atheist in a Christian family I know how it feels to have Christian values forced on you, but sometimes it's easier, and in the long run better, to just go long with them. It helps them, and really doesn't mean anything to you aside from losing a few hours of your life. The question is, which is more important to you - your principles or your family?

Since I don't know a lot about the subject, could you elaborate on the whole "god father" thing?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godparent

It doesn't involve 'wacking' people, saying 'ba-da-bing!' or living in Sicily. Alas.

Here's a dilemma.

I have been asked by my sister to be the Godfather of her son. I have absolutely no Christian belief, and would find it very hard to make the various proclamations involved because

1) I don't believe any of it
2) I don't agree with the sentiment of a lot of it
3) I don't want to lie about it, as it is meaningful to other people

My sister understands that, and says she would understand if I said no, but that it would mean a lot to her if I did.

What do you think? Is it better to stick to my principles and say no, or better to do something that will mean a lot to my sister and family?

(I have no issues with the principle of having some responsibility for my nephew and helping take care of him, and would be proud to, I have issues with the religious theme of 'god father')

1 isn't a big deal to me. I like fiction. 2 is. Try to find a compromise, keeping in mind that compromise is something most branches of christianity have trouble with.

What proclamations specifically do you disagree with?

You should say no and your sister should withdraw her invitation. You should both go to the minister, priest, reverend (whatever it is that you have) and re-read the vow/promises that you are making at the baptism service and either treat them as a vow/promise or don't do it at all.

The choice to be a godparent or have your infant baptized is essentially promising to to live with that child in the church and provide a Christian education and nurturing the child’s growth in faith.

Why make a promise you know you are going to break?

What proclamations specifically do you disagree with?

The central religious theme - of making sure they (the child) become a good Christian (I think balderdash put it very succinctly), I'm not sure whether there is a specific phrase in the order of service.

The central religious theme - of making sure they (the child) become a good Christian (I think balderdash put it very succinctly), I'm not sure whether there is a specific phrase in the order of service.

Well, do the actual parents expect you to adhere to that?

The central religious theme - of making sure they (the child) become a good Christian (I think balderdash put it very succinctly), I'm not sure whether there is a specific phrase in the order of service.

Do you have a problem with the stuff Jesus said? I mean if a Christian is a follower of Christ, they would just do that stuff he said right?

It seems to me that Godparents in the modern world is really just a special title and a promise of a bond between nonparents and a child. I doubt your sister seriously expects you to ensure her child's religious eductation in the case of her death.

Do you have a problem with the stuff Jesus said? I mean if a Christian is a follower of Christ, they would just do that stuff he said right?

I agree with many sentiments of Christianity, but not with nigh-on sycophantic obeisance to a metaphysical being, or non-progressive dogma that causes more suffering than it is meant to prevent. I also think that my nephew should have the choice to follow whatever religion they want, and that it shouldn't be my duty to force him any particular way.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godparent

From Wikipedia,"Today the word "godparent" may not have explicitly religious overtones. The modern view of a godparent tends to be an individual chosen by the parents to take an interest in the child's upbringing and personal development." I'm guessing that your sister wished something along lines of this

My godparents were good friends of my parents. They acted much like additional aunts and uncles to my sister and I(actually they were more involved in our lives because they lived nearby while my real aunts and uncles lived a distance away). There was no expectation of religious teaching in the relationship.

you are already the child's uncle, that is already a special and important relationship, i think you should decline and let one of their christian friends take on the role . you don't feel comfortable in the religious aspect of the role and as an uncle you can really already do everything else a god father would normally do.

My sister understands that, and says she would understand if I said no, but that it would mean a lot to her if I did.

Why does it mean that much to her if she knows that you cannot take the words seriously ? In essence she is asking for a mockery of a ritual she sees as important. Does not seem very nice towards the kid.

You should not play any important role in any religious ritual whose premises you do not accept. That would be deceitful, and disrespectful toward people who actually believe.

The best solution here, I think, would be to look for other ways to you to fulfill some equivalent of the "godparent" role.

what denomination are you and what do you specificallyhave to promise?

You could try getting the religious promises out of your vows if the reverend or priest or whatever isn't too picky on it. Make it a promise to look after and love your nephew or something?

I understand why this is a sticky situation. In my family, "it's okay if you don't want to, but it would mean a lot to me" is code for "fucking do it, or suffer the consequences at holiday time."

On the other hand, if your sister knows your beliefs and still wants you to do it, it sounds as if you are taking this more seriously than she is. This seems odd to me, especially if it is a ritual that requires you to promise to raise the child according to the religion. If that's not the part that matters to her, then what is? Why is she going through the ritual at all?

If I were in your place, I'd torture myself about it, get annoyed with my sister for putting me on the spot, but in the end I'd probably stick with my principles and not accept the position of godparent. Since I'm in MY family, I would pointedly assert my uncle/aunt status, privileges and responsibilities in order to head off any snippiness about having declined to be godparent.

If you want to be someone important in the child's life, it's probably good not to start off on a dishonest, hypocritical note.

As a Catholic (albeit a fairly poor one) I know how important this can be to a family. They asked you because they love and respect you, and refusing would be like slapping them in the face. Just grin and bear it.

I'm a godparent for a friends first child. I don't believe in god or go to church.

I see no problem with this situation. My friends know my position on religion but asked me to be an important part of their childs life and take part in a ceremony they believe in. Even the vicar knew I was athiest.

As a Catholic (albeit a fairly poor one) I know how important this can be to a family. They asked you because they love and respect you, and refusing would be like slapping them in the face. Just grin and bear it.

I'm a godparent for a friends first child. I don't believe in god or go to church.

I see no problem with this situation. My friends know my position on religion but asked me to be an important part of their childs life and take part in a ceremony they believe in. Even the vicar knew I was athiest.
So, are you guys both saying that the Christian god doesn't care about this ritual and, thus, the words spoken during it don't matter?

Because to me -- not a Christian -- vows sworn before a god matter, and if you don't mean them, you shouldn't say them.

EDIT: I'm seriously asking, because if the ritual really is just a social formality, then I guess he should go through with it, but if in fact, there is an expectation that it matters, then, I, personally, would not do it.

It's a formality which means next to nothing. Seriously, my godparents are no more important to me than any of my other aunts and uncles, and neither of them are devout catholics.

what denomination are you and what do you specificallyhave to promise?

http://www.cofe.anglican.org/worship/liturgy/commonworship/texts/initiation/baptism.html

Look about a quarter of the way down the page, where it says 'presentation of the candidates' and 'the decision'

So, are you guys both saying that the Christian god doesn't care about this ritual and, thus, the words spoken during it don't matter?

Because to me -- not a Christian -- vows sworn before a god matter, and if you don't mean them, you shouldn't say them.

EDIT: I'm seriously asking, because if the ritual really is just a social formality, then I guess he should go through with it, but if in fact, there is an expectation that it matters, then, I, personally, would not do it.

I don't believe there is a christian god therefore I don't have to worry about any promises to him.

I saw it as a social formality, a promise to them to always take care of their daughter, as well as the fact that I believe I live a "christian" life, abeit without the god and jesus part.

http://www.cofe.anglican.org/worship/liturgy/commonworship/texts/initiation/baptism.html

Look about a quarter of the way down the page, where it says 'presentation of the candidates' and 'the decision'
id tell your sister that you would love to be her childs godfather but that you cannot in good conscience participate in the ceremony.

http://www.cofe.anglican.org/worship/liturgy/commonworship/texts/initiation/baptism.html

Look about a quarter of the way down the page, where it says 'presentation of the candidates' and 'the decision'
A couple of questions:

1) Is the child able to answer the questions in the ritual, or are we talking about an infant?

2) If an infant, who is supposed to answer the questions for him?

3) In another part of that liturgy, it says there's another form for some part of some ritual. Will the CoE adjust the ritual to accommodate non-member/non-Christian godparents?

Depending on how much of this ritual the godparent is meant to say, I would not do it. I would be lying too much for my own conscience.

Explain to your sister that you're happy to be a guardian to the child, but would feel improper vowing to take care of the child's Christian upbringing when you're not a Christian yourself.

If your sister wants someone to help in the child's 'religious development' then, rather obviously, it certainly shouldn't be you.

Nowadays, becoming a godfather neither involves a clerical ceremony nor any religious obligations over here. Now obviously, that doesn't apply to your family, but you might talk her into accepting you as a godfather without the ceremonial stuff.
In fact, accept the child can call you godfather, and promise to give christmas/birthday presents, then you should be set for the main/everyday tasks of this institution. Of course there's also the promise to look after the kid in case of death of the parents, but let's hope that never actually happens, right?

A couple of questions:

1) Is the child able to answer the questions in the ritual, or are we talking about an infant?

2) If an infant, who is supposed to answer the questions for him?

3) In another part of that liturgy, it says there's another form for some part of some ritual. Will the CoE adjust the ritual to accommodate non-member/non-Christian godparents?

Depending on how much of this ritual the godparent is meant to say, I would not do it. I would be lying too much for my own conscience.

Too young to participate, in that sense I speak for the child.

No, I think it's just a denominational difference (more or less catholic or protestant in flavour)


But am I just being vain, considering lying to be more important 'to my conscience' than doing something important for my family?

Nowadays, becoming a godfather neither involves a clerical ceremony nor any religious obligations over here. Now obviously, that doesn't apply to your family, but you might talk her into accepting you as a godfather without the ceremonial stuff.
Problem being, it sounds as if Holy Cheese's sister is wanting a Christian baptism for her child, so it'd be hard to become a godfather without at least going through the motions during the baptismal service.

Explain to your sister that you're happy to be a guardian to the child, but would feel improper vowing to take care of the child's Christian upbringing when you're not a Christian yourself.

If your sister wants someone to help in the child's 'religious development' then, rather obviously, it certainly shouldn't be you.

The other godparents are more into that, and take care of that side more.

The irony is, I think it matters more to me than to my family that I am saying something I do not believe in.

The thing is, being a Godfather isn't as much about teaching that child how to be a good Christian or whatever, its more being a mentor and a friend to them. My own Godfather, my uncle, is a great guy. Him and his wife are of the few people in my family that don't have rod's up their rear end. Sometimes you just need a friend, to me thats what a Godfather is. An older person that just wants to be your friend.

If you show them how to be a good person along the way thats great. If you show them how important it is to have faith in their belief (even though you don't believe his/her family's belief) thats great too. Because until your old enough to make the decision yourself, most kids need some sense of what is good. Until they are old enough to decide for themselves whether they believe in God or not that is.

My advice is to accept the offer. Kids need someone to look up to.

Good luck to you.

The other godparents are more into that, and take care of that side more.

The irony is, I think it matters more to me than to my family that I am saying something I do not believe in.
Ironic or not, I'd stick to your guns about not promising something you don't believe in.

Would your sister not be happy with you becoming a godfather, yet not going through the religious ceremony?



My advice is to accept the offer. Kids need someone to look up to.
Why can't the kid look up to him without him making a promise he doesn't believe in and won't keep?

Too young to participate, in that sense I speak for the child.

No, I think it's just a denominational difference (more or less catholic or protestant in flavour)


But am I just being vain, considering lying to be more important 'to my conscience' than doing something important for my family?
it depends on how strongly you feel about it.

no sense being a complete hypocrit but as long as everyone knows that you are just mouthing the words and they are fine with it, its their problem.

i was godmother to my sisters 2nd daughter. it was good for both of us even if i wasnt a religious resource.

But am I just being vain, considering lying to be more important 'to my conscience' than doing something important for my family?

Assume your sister is Ms Godwin and therefor a neonazi. She would like you to be an important part of a ceremony that she considers important in a symbolic way for the child. It would require you to make a Hitler salute, say a few words about how you hope the kid will grow up to be a good Aryan and be present while people bow to a swastika.

Would we even be having this conversation or would you just say no ?

don't be a pussy just do it and play Christian

course what you should really be worried about is the commitment being a godfather involves *shudders*

An Alternative Form of the Decision

Where there are strong pastoral reasons, the following may be used in place of the Decision in the service of Holy Baptism.

The president addresses the candidates directly, or through their parents, godparents and sponsors

Therefore I ask:
Do you turn to Christ?
I turn to Christ.

Do you repent of your sins?
I repent of my sins.

Do you renounce evil?
I renounce evil.

Why not just ask for this version? Just work out which direction Israel is from where the church is.

Seriously though, ask your sister what she thinks about it. Explain to her your problem with the service and see if she would be happy for you to fulfil the role in a non-religious way. I don't think godparents are a requirement for a baptism.

Here's a dilemma.

I have been asked by my sister to be the Godfather of her son. I have absolutely no Christian belief, and would find it very hard to make the various proclamations involved because

1) I don't believe any of it
2) I don't agree with the sentiment of a lot of it
3) I don't want to lie about it, as it is meaningful to other people

My sister understands that, and says she would understand if I said no, but that it would mean a lot to her if I did.

What do you think? Is it better to stick to my principles and say no, or better to do something that will mean a lot to my sister and family?

(I have no issues with the principle of having some responsibility for my nephew and helping take care of him, and would be proud to, I have issues with the religious theme of 'god father')

For info - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godparent

http://www.cofe.anglican.org/worship/liturgy/commonworship/texts/initiation/baptism.html

Look about a quarter of the way down the page, where it says 'presentation of the candidates' and 'the decision' for the stuff I have to say (although obviously I have to join with the rest of the service too)

Is your sister going through the ritual as a religious rite, or just as a traditional thing? If the latter then would she consider holding a more humanistic, informal ceremony which you could participate in in good faith?

Otherwise, I wouldn't see it being too big a problem as long as your sister and her significant other understand which parts of the vows you don't intend to keep: if you're candid with all the affected parties then it's not dishonest in my view.

At the end of the day it's your choice: the internet can be a good place to talk things through but you're better off speaking to someone you know in real life for personal advice.

Assume your sister is Ms Godwin and therefor a neonazi. She would like you to be an important part of a ceremony that she considers important in a symbolic way for the child. It would require you to make a Hitler salute, say a few words about how you hope the kid will grow up to be a good Aryan and be present while people bow to a swastika.

Would we even be having this conversation or would you just say no ?

That sounds a bit straw man to me, I don't think you can equate modern-day perspectives on Nazism with Christianity.

don't be a pussy just do it and play Christian
Why is sticking to one's conscience being a 'pussy'?

To the minister presiding over the baptism and, I'd imagine, the child's mother, the baptism isn't something trivial; it's a serious request to have a large hand in the child's religious upbringing. During a baptism, the godparents vow that they (a) believe in the Christian God, and (b) will bring up the child to believe in said God and make sure the child is a part of the Church.

I think it's rather offensive to promise to do such things when you have no intention of doing so.

don't be a pussy just do it and play Christian

course what you should really be worried about is the commitment being a godfather involves *shudders*

I don't think he's 'being a pussy'; if anything he's showing admirable moral courage. Is it ethical to mark the beginning of your time as an ethical role model to a child with an act of dishonesty? Given a free choice I wouldn't do it, but the strong family commitment makes the decision harder. Either way, there's nothing weak about the dilemma.

I didn't know that a lot of religious stuff went with becoming a godparent. My godfather is a nondenominational Christian and my godmother is Jewish. We didn't have any religious ceremony for it, it was just an honorary commitment thing.

Is your sister set on having a ceremony? Can she name you as godfather without getting the church involved?

That sounds a bit straw man to me, I don't think you can equate modern-day perspectives on Nazism with Christianity.

That is all a matter of opinion - and it depends on just how strong the OP opposes the ideas of Christianity. However, I did not use the name "Godwin" without reason ;)

However, one can also use Scientology. Or whatever fringe group people frown on in general. The point is that the OP should not feel compelled to do something just because Christianity is considered more socially acceptable.

Of course, if the OP would not mind the Nazi/Scientology/whatever ceremony despite disliking the beliefs, he should also not object to the Christian one. That would be silly and hypocritical.

That is all a matter of opinion - and it depends on just how strong the OP opposes the ideas of Christianity. However, I did not use the name "Godwin" without reason ;)

However, one can also use Scientology. Or whatever fringe group people frown on in general. The point is that the OP should not feel compelled to do something just because Christianity is considered more socially acceptable.

Of course, if the OP would not mind the Nazi/Scientology/whatever ceremony despite disliking the beliefs, he should also not object to the Christian one. That would be silly and hypocritical.

Don't you think the degree to which you disagree with something, would matter?

totally got the godwin thing btw ;)

I didn't know that a lot of religious stuff went with becoming a godparent. My godfather is a nondenominational Christian and my godmother is Jewish. We didn't have any religious ceremony for it, it was just an honorary commitment thing.

Is your sister set on having a ceremony? Can she name you as godfather without getting the church involved?

She's set on having the ceremony. I don't think the second one is an option (although I am guessing)

its not wrong to throw it back onto her shoulders by accepting but saying that you cannot make the promises in the ceremony.

that way its up to HER to make it work.

Here's a dilemma.

I have been asked by my sister to be the Godfather of her son. I have absolutely no Christian belief, and would find it very hard to make the various proclamations involved because

1) I don't believe any of it
2) I don't agree with the sentiment of a lot of it
3) I don't want to lie about it, as it is meaningful to other people

My sister understands that, and says she would understand if I said no, but that it would mean a lot to her if I did.

What do you think? Is it better to stick to my principles and say no, or better to do something that will mean a lot to my sister and family?

(I have no issues with the principle of having some responsibility for my nephew and helping take care of him, and would be proud to, I have issues with the religious theme of 'god father')

For info - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godparent

http://www.cofe.anglican.org/worship/liturgy/commonworship/texts/initiation/baptism.html

Look about a quarter of the way down the page, where it says 'presentation of the candidates' and 'the decision' for the stuff I have to say (although obviously I have to join in with the rest of the service too)
If you do not believe in the Christian faith, I believe you should recuse yourself from being the child's godfather, at least in the religious sense.

There's nothing that says you cannot love and protect your nephew, and raise him in a moral fashion should you be called upon to do it. I think it would be at the least dishonest for you to profess the opposite of your principles and disrespectful to the church and the other people who belong to it to lie about it.

I wonder why your sister would place so much pressure on you to profess a religious obedience you don't believe and she apparently does, when she clearly knows your feelings about it.

I wonder why your sister would place so much pressure on you to profess a religious obedience you don't believe and she apparently does, when she clearly knows your feelings about it.

I would assume that its like a someone who wishes to marry in their church even if their spouse to be is an atheist or an agnostic.

I would assume that its like a someone who wishes to marry in their church even if their spouse to be is an atheist or an agnostic.
And yet if they TRULY believe, then they understand why a non-denominational officiant is their only honest choice.

Surely, though, she could name him as the godfather secularly without making her son's first religious introduction to the church a mockery?

I wonder why your sister would place so much pressure on you to profess a religious obedience you don't believe and she apparently does, when she clearly knows your feelings about it.

Judging by the link it's a Church of England ceremony, so nobody present (possibly including the vicar) is really expected to believe the stuff.

I beleive you have to be baptised first.. if you are an aetheist than perhaps you are not baptised meaning you are not elligable.

To me its no dillemma... I'd say no and would try to explain to my sister that forcing the child to be baptized and inducted into a religion of any type is poor parenting.

And yet if they TRULY believe, then they understand why a non-denominational officiant is their only honest choice.

Elaborate. Do you mean that in my scenario the only real way they can be married is through a secular agent? Even if the believer considers marriage sacrament that needs

Surely, though, she could name him as the godfather secularly without making her son's first religious introduction to the church a mockery?

I assume she finds it the ritual important but not for the exact orthodox fashion. She probably doesn't think he'll teach her child a religious education or adopt him in the case the child is orphaned.

Dan Savage, a sex columnist, had the child he and his boyfriend adopted baptised by the Catholic Church even though neither he nor his lover were believers and the Church actively denounces his lifestyle and much of his personal views. He does however think of himself as Catholic in a similar way that jews who don't believe in god still consider themselves Jewish.

So basically the ritual is something his sister doesn't bind him toward god but its something that is part religious, part cultural, but mainly psychological on her part.

Judging by the link it's a Church of England ceremony, so nobody present (possibly including the vicar) is really expected to believe the stuff.

Wasn't there an Anglican Bishop or something who was publically an atheist?

Judging by the link it's a Church of England ceremony, so nobody present (possibly including the vicar) is really expected to believe the stuff.

Hahaha.

Too young to participate, in that sense I speak for the child.

No, I think it's just a denominational difference (more or less catholic or protestant in flavour)


But am I just being vain, considering lying to be more important 'to my conscience' than doing something important for my family?
I can understand some arguments that might say you are being vain, but in my point of view, you are NOT being vain. You are being principled, provided you do care about this so much.

If you take this sort of thing seriously, then you would be compromising yourself to suit a request that other religious people here have said does not really matter all that much to either the church or the child's future. And trust me, the kid won't care. He won't even be aware of any of this. I would never ask a relative of mine to do such a thing, to participate in a religious ritual they did not believe in just to suit my personal wishes, in the absence of any real necessity. I mean, really, to me, that's just unfair to you.

It's my view that honesty is the best policy in all things. For a lie to be justified, there has to be some real necessity to it. I see no necessity for you to tell this particular lie -- a lie you feel so strongly about that the prospect of telling it is making you this uncomfortable.

I guess I'd ask myself this: What do I want to be to this child? The godparent who lies before a god and makes promises he/she doesn't believe in and has no intention of keeping, just to please other people? Or the uncle/aunt who might not play ball with the family on everything but who tells the truth, does what he/she thinks is right, and loves him and will always be there for him?

She's set on having the ceremony. I don't think the second one is an option (although I am guessing)
Ask her. If a more secular version is available and you WANT to be the kid's godfather, as well as uncle, then go for that. Otherwise, thank her and explain that you can't do it.

Because if YOU have to be the one to say all those words on behalf of the baby, then the entire ritual would be a mockery, because you would believe and mean none of it. Even if she doesn't care, it would be an insult to the church, in my personal opinion.

If she is dead set on a religious ceremony, then the religious meaning should be important to her and she should get a religious person to do it. If it's not important, and she only wants her child to have a godfather as a family tradition or something, then she should be willing to compromise on the form of ceremony.

Too young to participate, in that sense I speak for the child.

Well, it's simple then. If you're speaking for the child go the ceremony and speaking for the child decline as they are not old enough to make such an important choice. :-)

Don't you think the degree to which you disagree with something, would matter?

Depends how firmly you believe in principles ;)

But yes - it all boils down to that now. Your sister obviously does not care about you not valuing the words; so it all depends on how much you object against speaking them.

totally got the godwin thing btw
*grin*
Could have used devilworshipping and the blood of a small chicken as well ;)

Wasn't there an Anglican Bishop or something who was publically an atheist?

There was certainly one who denied the existence of god in the traditionally conceived theistic sense, although I can't remember his name just now.

The BBC comedy Yes Prime Minister explains the situation very well: :tongue:

Part 1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBtDIVfhh8k&feature=related) (1:47 minutes)
Part 2 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwkI6PZhm4A) (1:33 minutes)

Don't do it.

I'm not sure about the Anglican rites, but I'm pretty sure that there are options which don't require the godfather to participate much, apart from holding the baby over the font.

I think Ashmoria's advise is best, tell your sister you'd be happy to be the godfather, but that you will not make a mockery of the ceremony by telling outright lies about your faith. Let her sort out how to proceed with it.

I'm finding it rather odd that it would mean a lot to your sister that you would essentially force yourself to lie outright about your beliefs in order to accomodate hers...

I have thirteen neices and nephews. I also have friends with children. I explained to all the parents that, because I am atheist, I could not in conscience be a godparent. As a result I have no godchildren.

I have no children of my own and, yes, I regret my stance sometimes.

I am the godfather of my nephew. My sister asked me knowing that I am an atheist, and I agreed because it was what she wanted. I just see the role as being a good example, and that doesn't require any religious beliefs.

Here's a dilemma.

I have been asked by my sister to be the Godfather of her son. I have absolutely no Christian belief, and would find it very hard to make the various proclamations involved because

1) I don't believe any of it
2) I don't agree with the sentiment of a lot of it
3) I don't want to lie about it, as it is meaningful to other people

My sister understands that, and says she would understand if I said no, but that it would mean a lot to her if I did.

What do you think? Is it better to stick to my principles and say no, or better to do something that will mean a lot to my sister and family?

(I have no issues with the principle of having some responsibility for my nephew and helping take care of him, and would be proud to, I have issues with the religious theme of 'god father')

For info - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godparent

http://www.cofe.anglican.org/worship/liturgy/commonworship/texts/initiation/baptism.html

Look about a quarter of the way down the page, where it says 'presentation of the candidates' and 'the decision' for the stuff I have to say (although obviously I have to join in with the rest of the service too)


Say no. The God parents are responisble for the spirtual upbringing of the child, if you have no sense of spirtuality then how can you even begin to be a God parent?