NationStates Jolt Archive

The forum staple topic: "What would you do if you were God for one day?" always appears from time to time. It'll probably be around in the next few months. For today however, I am asking the opposite question:

If you were the Devil for one day, what would you do?

Hang around some crossroads and create a few new blues guitarists.

Figure out an eighth deadly sin.

Make the members of the Church of Satan do silly walks for my entertainment. Oh, and make them polish my horns as well. Do you know how hard it is to get a good horn polishing in Hell?

Make the members of the Church of Satan do silly walks for my entertainment. Oh, and make them polish my horns as well. Do you know how hard it is to get a good horn polishing in Hell?

Is that innuendo? :confused:

It wasn't supposed to be, but I'm afraid you've changed that.

If you were the Devil for one day, what would you do?What's my motivation?
Hmm, maybe I would just not exist. That might be nice for a day. Although that's really more of a sentiment from when I was half my current age.

Congratulate Westboro Baptist Church on the good work.

I would probably collect on the 2004 World Series debts then clean up on all the open real estate in Boston. :D

Say sorry to God and ask to be forgiven?

Re-write the Bible to make sodomy the only permissable form of intercourse, just to screw with people's heads. MWAHAHAA

Well ... I think I could spend Eternity as the Devil. Come on ... it's like Loki on steroids or Bacchus on crack!

The first thing I would do is to appear as "Shiva the Destroyer" to the Pope. Then I'll appear as Allah (ok technically he doesn't "appear") to President Bush. Then I'll appear as the Holy Mary to a temple full of Hindus.

When I'm finished screwing up with people's beliefs I'll invent a new programming language (let's call it "Z**") that randomly generates bugs (more stealthly than any other code in current use) and I'll spread it to all sort of crucial industries.

And the list goes on and on and on ... :rolleyes:

Become so sickeningly nice that God actually looks like the bad guy, now that would mess with a few peoples beliefs, which seems to be a recurring theme in this thread.:D

I'd open and gates of hell and let everyone go. The ultimate prank on the Devil I am substituting for.

bitch about God. sing South Park songs. probably some BDSM...

Fill everyone in the worlds' shoes full of custard for the lols.

You know the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs? That's what I did.

shrink everyones shoes so they get horrible blisters

maybe also steal one sock out of each pair to turn into some crude thong that I will perform my crude villainy in

Fill everyone in the worlds' shoes full of custard for the lols.

great minds and all

Appear in the Westboro Baptist Church during services, just as Phelps finishes a sermon, to congratulate him on his good work in spreading evil and hatred. With any luck, his head will explode.

Make Woody Allen's view of the future into Heaven.

I'd make a few arrangments so my life can be set starting tomorrow. Make sure it's ironclad, too. Get me lots of money, a bit of power and maybe a few fawning hanger-ons.

Then, for the rest of the day, I think I'd be involved in a lot of different sexual acts. I like sex. :tongue:

Take one Margaret Thatcher. Reunite with old friends Ronnie Reagan and Augusto Pinochet. Bury up to neck height in faeces (though fasces would perhaps be more appropriate). Marinate in the urine of miners. Heat at 400 degrees. Punishment served with relish.

Then, for the rest of the day, I think I'd be involved in a lot of different sexual acts. I like sex. :tongue:

There are worse ways to pass your time.

The forum staple topic: "What would you do if you were God for one day?" always appears from time to time. It'll probably be around in the next few months. For today however, I am asking the opposite question:

If you were the Devil for one day, what would you do?
Visit the White House and its current resident and tell him and his staff that I have a special room waiting for them where they "won't" be tortured or mistreated. Muahahaha.

Then go to Disneyland. I always wanted to go to Disneyland.
http://freenet-homepage.de/andremainz/teufel.gif

Cement my power and authority, Its not like they are gonna notice that one day I'm the devil and the other I'm not.

As for individual things, I don't know what I'd do...

Take one Margaret Thatcher. Reunite with old friends Ronnie Reagan and Augusto Pinochet. Bury up to neck height in faeces (though fasces would perhaps be more appropriate). Marinate in the urine of miners. Heat at 400 degrees. Punishment served with relish.

Nice :)

Visit the bible belt, and announce it as as my new residence, and "Home away from home."

...

Maybe I am evil...

I'd go bet some kid named johnny a fiddle of gold against his soul that I think I'm better at him

I'd go bet some kid named johnny a fiddle of gold against his soul that I think I'm better at him

Yeah but you'd loose that bet as I recall...

I can't play the fiddle but if you read carefully I never said I would play the fiddle at all


I'd make a great Satan indeed

I'd play "Devils Advocate" all day long. *nod*

I'd send out a memo declaring that I was changing my chosen musical medium from rock to polka. Just to seriously screw with people.

Start a band of course!

Challnge god for his postion and rule over heaven, hell, and earth.

I would also write & release a Tell All book about God. *nod*

I'd be too busy with my VP job. ;(

I would make L.A. the Capital of the United States.

Fass would be president of the U.S., Neesika would be vice-president.

I would go live in Tahiti.

Kick down the gates of heaven and try and kill god again. It was a good idea in antiquity, it's still a good idea now! Maybe I'll be lucky this time!

Ask God for forgiveness. release all souls I obtained and will obtain. redecorate Hell with some pastel colors, put out as many fire pits as possible, initate a dress code for my demons and have them sing Hymns to God while burning any and all contracts... whether they are signed or not.

Go out unto the world and show people that I exist as well as post on the internet the names of all those who would be coming to see me. as well as revealing who made what deal for me and for what.

hey, if the Devil can Fuck up my life, I certainly can fuck up his. :p

As the CEO of fox, I'd be too busy to get up to anything much.

Turn all the ACs in hell on for once. Just becuase it's eternal damnation doesn't mean they don't deserve to be cool. :p

I'd reenact the Book of Job (you know, find some innocent guy and put him through Hell to see how much it takes to make someone snap). Always was my favorite book of the Bible, and of all the traditional depictions of Satan, it is the most interesting, at least until Milton came along.

put LSD in all the worlds water supplies.

Turn all the ACs in hell on for once. Just becuase it's eternal damnation doesn't mean they don't deserve to be cool. :p

You do know that the ninth circle of Hell is a frozen lake filled with the souls of traitors, right? That's pretty cool in my book.

I would walk the earth, spreading death and terror to the hearts of man. The skies should catch fire, and the seas should be like blood. All existence would kneel before the legions of hell as we slaughtered the children of God.

Or maybe I would just play video games.

Have inordinate amount of fun tempting mankind.

Idea #2

Send out a horde of demons to visit the leaders of every "moralist" right-wing political party. Have a demon take the form of the leader's wife/partner. When things get "physical" have them suddenly transform into well-tanned oiled-up musclemen. Pictures sent to the press.

I would walk the earth, spreading death and terror to the hearts of man. The skies should catch fire, and the seas should be like blood. All existence would kneel before the legions of hell as we slaughtered the children of God.

A traditionalist, eh? I can respect that. Good to see that some people still have a healthy respect for the old ways.

Or maybe I would just play video games.

You're one of those depraved individuals that play murder simulators? You horrible, horrible fiend!

Turn hell into a wonderful place... so all sinners are rewarded instead of punished.

Meh. I'd do exactly what I do anyway.

Close the gates of hell so the dead will walk the earth, thus creating the zombie revolution. They're all going to wear revolutionary style hats and clothing too.

Re-write the Bible to make sodomy the only permissable form of intercourse, just to screw with people's heads. MWAHAHAA

I concur, but make it sodomy and rape, for extra fun. Also, not "permissable" or "permissible", but rather the only possible.

Well ... I would remove Tom Short from existence.

Hey, the guy told me I was better off barefoot and pregnant than studying engineering.

I can't play the fiddle but if you read carefully I never said I would play the fiddle at all


I'd make a great Satan indeed

Just stay out of Georgia.

The forum staple topic: "What would you do if you were God for one day?" always appears from time to time. It'll probably be around in the next few months. For today however, I am asking the opposite question:

If you were the Devil for one day, what would you do?

Write and disseminate a text, purporting to be an 'in character' inspired text, by my heavenly opponent, designed to lead billions of people over the next several thousand years down completely the wrong path...

I'd have timewarped to the Republican Convention and openly endorsed McCain and Palin just to fuck with the Evangelical Base.

Impregnate a young, innocent girl. Have her and the child be prosecuted, stalked, hunted and so on until the child is finally executed in an extremely painful way[1].

Cause that is what jerks do.


[1] Yes- it will be a long day.

Probably the same things I would do if I were God.

Impregnate a young, innocent girl. Have her and the child be prosecuted, stalked, hunted and so on until the child is finally executed in an extremely painful way[1].
Why a girl?

You're the Devil, you can iMPREGnate.

I don't know. Probably something wierd involving leather, chains and nipple clamps. And Miley Cyrus.

Probably the same things I would do if I were God.

Is that a clever way to imply that according to your opinion God and the Devil are actually the same?

Is that a clever way to imply that according to your opinion God and the Devil are actually the same?

Not at all; God is all-loving and the Devil is evil. But if I were the Devil, I wouldn't be evil, and if I were God, I wouldn't be all-loving. I'd be like New Limacon with superpowers, and there's not much difference whether I have devil superpowers or God superpowers.

If I were completely like God, I'd probably do whatever God does now, because that's what God does. If I were completely like the Devil, I'd do whatever he does. But I'm assuming the question is, "What would you do if you were the Devil and still retained your current mind and conscience?"

Have inordinate amount of fun tempting mankind.

Tempt today's Reality Television watching, Ebil Mozlem fearing, Bush and Cheney licking mankind?

Try something that requires Actual Effort, please.

Ah, that make sense, so kind of like gods of old, feel my wrath or whims, etc.
I still say that I'd give the damned AC, they could use it.

EDIT: meant for New Limacon

get rid of all religions

make evryone devout fundamentalist atheists

make laws allowing everyone to do anything they want

destroy the distinstion between good and bad

muahahahaha !!!

get rid of all religions

make evryone devout fundamentalist atheists

make laws allowing everyone to do anything they want

destroy the distinstion between good and bad

muahahahaha !!!

So you'd be an Objectivist Devil. In other words, business as usual.

get rid of all religions
If the devil were capable of doing this in a day, wouldn't he have done so already?

The forum staple topic: "What would you do if you were God for one day?" always appears from time to time. It'll probably be around in the next few months. For today however, I am asking the opposite question:

If you were the Devil for one day, what would you do?

OMG, U R damning me 4evr, aintcha?
ait, I'm BLZB,'N'...mmm...whut?...
I'm Tryn 2FU evermore, sooo...




OK...IM DRawn blanx...
I...
D...
K...

HELZZ IZ BYND MYZ!?!!
splainZ?

OMG, U R damning me 4evr, aintcha?
ait, I'm BLZB,'N'...mmm...whut?...
I'm Tryn 2FU evermore, sooo...




OK...IM DRawn blanx...
I...
D...
K...

HELZZ IZ BYND MYZ!?!!
splainZ?

Proof that the devil is a lolcat.

:hail::hail::hail:Proof that the devil is a lolcat.

:hail::hail:
UR LOL Disiplzzz, bizznitch!!!
:hail::D:hail:

If the devil were capable of doing this in a day, wouldn't he have done so already?

He did. He destroyed all true religions in a day, several thousand years ago. Hence the conflicted and confusing arrangement of religions we have now.