NationStates Jolt Archive

Would you, could you break up a relationship, even if it means that both parties will be happier in the long run? The relationship is at a dead end and is basically on "life support" (IE: Children, finanical situation etc.).

Have you ever broken up a relationship?

Honestly, I have wanted to break up one couple, because 1. It's on "Life support" and it's about time someone put it out of it's misery. However, at the same time, I can't really do it because I do believe in Karma, and if I do it to one couple, who's to say someone won't do it to a relationship that I may be in?

Plus, knowing my luck, the whole mess will come back and bite me in the ass or blow up in my face.

Someone elses relationship? No, because it's none of my business.

Will you ever learn to mind your own business?

You don't know anything about someone else's relationship. Stay out of it.

It's better if people make their own mistakes. Interfering in someone else's life is just going to get them pissed at you if it doesn't work out. Plus, what makes you think you know what's good for them better than they do?

Would you,could you, have a little class?
Would you,could you, mind your own ass?
Would you,could you let things be?
Would you,could you, let them be free?

Sorry, couldn't resist lol. Now I will have Green Eggs and Ham stuck in my head all day.

But no, I wouldn't. it is not my business no matter how I may feel.

If the people in the relationship don't feel like breaking it up, it is the height of arrogance for someone outside of it to decide to make that decision for them.

Who are you to say their lives will be happier in the long run? Do you possess some sort of mystical power bestowing upon you clairvoyance?

Unless said relationship is violent, I'd suggest butt the hell out. Most likely what will happen is that the couple will dislike you greatly for your interference and judgments.

...the whole mess will come back and bite me in the ass or blow up in my face.

Nuff said. Stay the hell out of it and let them decide what they want to do. Other than suggesting professional counseling don't even offer any advice to either one.

My son was a cop. One of the most dangerous situations a cop can face is a domestic disputer. Guy beats the crap out of the wife, wife calls the cops, cops try to arrest the guy, wife turns on cops...

My son was a cop. One of the most dangerous situations a cop can face is a domestic disputer. Guy beats the crap out of the wife, wife calls the cops, cops try to arrest the guy, wife turns on cops...
Why not just arrest them both? Clearly she's either being beaten or she's wasting police time, both of which are offenses that result in some sort of detention.

Would you, could you break up a relationship, even if it means that both parties will be happier in the long run? The relationship is at a dead end and is basically on "life support" (IE: Children, finanical situation etc.).

Have you ever broken up a relationship?

Honestly, I have wanted to break up one couple, because 1. It's on "Life support" and it's about time someone put it out of it's misery. However, at the same time, I can't really do it because I do believe in Karma, and if I do it to one couple, who's to say someone won't do it to a relationship that I may be in?

Plus, knowing my luck, the whole mess will come back and bite me in the ass or blow up in my face.
Would you stop obsessing over your friend and telling us all about it!?

Honestly, I have wanted to break up one couple, because 1. It's on "Life support" and it's about time someone put it out of it's misery.

Are we still talking about the same couple you mentioned before ?

For a libertarian, you sure do fee the need to control other peoples lives quite a bit.


It isn't your relationship. Stay out of it.

Would you, could you break up a relationship, even if it means that both parties will be happier in the long run? The relationship is at a dead end and is basically on "life support" (IE: Children, finanical situation etc.).

Have you ever broken up a relationship?

Honestly, I have wanted to break up one couple, because 1. It's on "Life support" and it's about time someone put it out of it's misery. However, at the same time, I can't really do it because I do believe in Karma, and if I do it to one couple, who's to say someone won't do it to a relationship that I may be in?

Plus, knowing my luck, the whole mess will come back and bite me in the ass or blow up in my face.
I have WANTED to break up a relationship more times than I can count, but I've only actually done it on one occasion (as far as I know).

I'm actually in a bit of a tough spot regarding this right now.

**WARNING: BLOGGISH INTERLUDE INCOMING. DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT BOTTLE'S PERSONAL LIFE**

Last week I went on vacation with some very close friends from college. There are six of us in total, who have managed to combine into three couples.

My partner and I have actually been "together" (read: fucking) the longest, but we're the only couple that is not married.

On this vacation, we rented a house on the Cape and lived in it together for a week. During this time I had ample opportunity to observe my friends and their relationships.

Oy.

Neither of the other couples went longer than two days without fighting openly.

Neither of the other couples went a day without one spouse directly insulting the other (ex: "Geez you're getting fat." "You're so stupid." "What is wrong with you?") in a non-joking manner.

Both of the other couples appear to have substantial and lasting arguments over hobbies. The husbands want to play cards, play videogames, watch baseball, toss around a football, or whatever else...and the wives Do Not Like This. So the husbands do not get to engage in those activities unless their wives are absent.

My problem is, I am friends with ALL of these people. I admit that I am closer to the guys (I've known them longest) but both of the wives are also good friends and I think they're fundamentally smart, cool, interesting people.

And yet.

It's so weird to look at my very good friends and wonder what the fuck they are thinking. I don't know why anybody would want to be in a marriage like theirs. I hope to hell that they are happy, and I really do wish them all the best, and I'm certainly not going to try to break up those marriages, but damn...I'm really glad I'm not them.

Both of the other couples appear to have substantial and lasting arguments over hobbies. The husbands want to play cards, play videogames, watch baseball, toss around a football, or whatever else...and the wives Do Not Like This. So the husbands do not get to engage in those activities unless their wives are absent.

I've never understood this, and why it is such a prevelant issue. Why can't one of the most important people in your life enjoy themselves? The strange thing is, and this could just be my group of friends, but it tends to be broken down the way you said...guy wants to do something, girl doesn't, but also doesn't want him to do it alone. Guy usually gives in to prevent fights.



to give a more clear answer to the original question, no. I wouldn't. If it was a case where I thought one party was being abused, I would raise that issue with them, but it is not my place to manipulate situations that I don't understand fully. Maybe she actually did fall down the stairs, or bruise easily.

I've never understood this, and why it is such a prevelant issue. Why can't one of the most important people in your life enjoy themselves? The strange thing is, and this could just be my group of friends, but it tends to be broken down the way you said...guy wants to do something, girl doesn't, but also doesn't want him to do it alone. Guy usually gives in to prevent fights.
It depends. If it's a hobbie/pastime that doesn't take up 9 fucking hours a day! He can do that. He can do the one that takes up 9 hours a day, but not everyday. I'm selfish, I need attention. I don't care about Link chasing after some stupid ass stone so he can rescue some big nosed cartoon princess. [/rant]

Why not just arrest them both? Clearly she's either being beaten or she's wasting police time, both of which are offenses that result in some sort of detention.

She has done nothing at all illegal. Because she called the police, they assume she would like some protection and because he has done something illegal he must be arrested. So, until she gets stupid and attacks the police they can't arrest her.

Unfortunatly, many abused women refuse to testify against or have their spouse / partner prosicuted and keep letting them back into their life. Many of them end up dead because of it.:(

Would you, could you break up a relationship, even if it means that both parties will be happier in the long run? The relationship is at a dead end and is basically on "life support" (IE: Children, finanical situation etc.).

Have you ever broken up a relationship?

Honestly, I have wanted to break up one couple, because 1. It's on "Life support" and it's about time someone put it out of it's misery. However, at the same time, I can't really do it because I do believe in Karma, and if I do it to one couple, who's to say someone won't do it to a relationship that I may be in?

Plus, knowing my luck, the whole mess will come back and bite me in the ass or blow up in my face.

and this is why all marriages should just be decided by the state, it would be much easier to let big brother arrange a marriage for you.

This is a Joke, if you still haven't figured it out.

It depends. If it's a hobbie/pastime that doesn't take up 9 fucking hours a day! He can do that. He can do the one that takes up 9 hours a day, but not everyday. I'm selfish, I need attention. I don't care about Link chasing after some stupid ass stone so he can rescue some big nosed cartoon princess. [/rant]

Understandable...but that's where comprimise comes in. Why can he only play the video game or play baseball if she is out of town or out doing something else?

Of course, I don't advocate that he should sit there and play every second that he wants...but he shouldn't have to sneak around to do it either.

I say do it Wilgrove, it's probably an experience worth going through - at least you can then tell us the aftermath.

For those who take arguing as a sign of bad marriage I remember when close friends of my parents divorced and I commented that I'd never seen them argue...

'Did you ever see them talk?', replied my mother.

A relationship includes arguments, quite a few, they can spill over into public, intense feelings bound in self-worth are involved. It's better that people are communicating their frustrations and anger than sitting in silence.

As outsiders we see without context, we can jump to conclusions and take a fragment of a relationship as the whole, especially when our view is obscured by personal interest.

Regardless, do it.

Do it, Youtube doing it and post it here.

Would you, could you break up a relationship, even if it means that both parties will be happier in the long run? The relationship is at a dead end and is basically on "life support" (IE: Children, finanical situation etc.).

Have you ever broken up a relationship?

Honestly, I have wanted to break up one couple, because 1. It's on "Life support" and it's about time someone put it out of it's misery. However, at the same time, I can't really do it because I do believe in Karma, and if I do it to one couple, who's to say someone won't do it to a relationship that I may be in?

Plus, knowing my luck, the whole mess will come back and bite me in the ass or blow up in my face.


So just so I understand, the only thing that would stop you from meddling in someone else's relationship is fear that it woud affect you personally? What about not doing it because it's not your place?