NationStates Jolt Archive

You have been trapped for months inside your house as my army of gnomes besieges you outside when suddenly you hear some of the gnome barricade coming down. The front door opens, relieved your run out only to find yourself in a magical box with one of the gnome officers, a gnome hitler and a gnome lawyer. There is also a large frozen fish, a spoon, a fork, a ball that has spines ALL OVER IT and a toy plastic mallet right next to you. Should you pick up the large frozen fish all the clothes (particularly underpants) will come to life and revolt against mankind. Should you choose the spoon a group of teenage alien rockstar wannabees will broadcast incredibly poor music worldwide for the next seven years. Should you choose the fork a magical charm will bless Kasuv (the famous internet Maisphilliac artist) to fulfill his hearts desire of world domination. Should you pick the toy plastic mallet George W Bush will become the president of earth for the next two decades. Should you choose the spiny ball, though it'll hurt considerable it'll cause no misfortune on humankind. And bbwt you must hit the right gnome first to cause a chain reaction that'll kill the other gnomes, only then can you search their carcasses for a key and escape.

btw, the seemingly random items next to you are the only weapons in the vicinity.

No. If my house is besieged by gnomes, I'm not stupid enough to run outside when someone opens my front door.

Spiny Ball to meet Gnomish officers face.... Actually wait, they're gnomes. So my reaction changes to kicking the scrawny little buggers around starting with the officer and gnome hitler. The officer is likely armed so he's the biggest threat, Real hitler mostly spent his time raving about things innefectively so a 3 foot version should be fairly useless and while lawyers have no souls, they also tend to have less in the way of brutal weaponry. So the gnome might sue me for punting his friends in the head, but I'll just counter with the legal gusto of beating him senseless with his briefcase.

I know a better dilemma:

The Dilemma Of Zork (http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Zork)

LEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOY JEEEEEEEEEEEENKIIIIIIIIIIIIINS

*runs out the building*

I would stop using drugs.

Dilemma solved

You have been trapped for months inside your house as my army of gnomes besieges you outside when suddenly you hear some of the gnome barricade coming down. The front door opens, relieved your run out only to find yourself in a magical box with one of the gnome officers, a gnome hitler and a gnome lawyer. There is also a large frozen fish, a spoon, a fork, a ball that has spines ALL OVER IT and a toy plastic mallet right next to you. Should you pick up the large frozen fish all the clothes (particularly underpants) will come to life and revolt against mankind. Should you choose the spoon a group of teenage alien rockstar wannabees will broadcast incredibly poor music worldwide for the next seven years. Should you choose the fork a magical charm will bless Kasuv (the famous internet Maisphilliac artist) to fulfill his hearts desire of world domination. Should you pick the toy plastic mallet George W Bush will become the president of earth for the next two decades. Should you choose the spiny ball, though it'll hurt considerable it'll cause no misfortune on humankind. And bbwt you must hit the right gnome first to cause a chain reaction that'll kill the other gnomes, only then can you search their carcasses for a key and escape.

... very... interesting.

I'm kinda torn between...

the spoon (hey, seven years of crappy music sounds good since being broadcast, I can always turn the tv and radio off and get some LIVE music which is NOT being broadcasted)

The Mallet. hey, a United World might be a good thing.

the Spiny ball.

and I'ld kick/hit the Gnome Lawyer.

http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/2007/01/28/dude/

Gnomes beseiging me ?!?

Is it a very bouncy ball ?

The frozen fish or the spiny ball.

:) This thread is truly obtuse!

Oh, this is an easy one. You put the spoon and fork in the fish's mouth, then hit it with a mallet and stuff the spiky ball in it's eye. It'll turn into a time bomb, and then you run.

For reals though, I'd hit the officer over the head with the spoon. 'cuz we already have crappy music being broadcast from TWO teenage alien rockstar wannabe groups. Boys Like Girls and The Jonas Brothers. Don't try arguing, you'll lose.

Take the spoon. Drive it into gnome Hitler's genitals.