NationStates Jolt Archive

I had an odd thought today.

...

Okay, more odd than usual. My thought is this: If chocolate were a person, what kind of person would it be?

Man or woman? What nationality? Any unusual characteristics?

Personally, I think chocolate is a woman. A Brazilian exotic dancer to be exact. *nod*

Really?

I'd say that chocolate would definitely be a woman, but I'd downgrade the fiery sexiness from Brazilian exotic dancer, though. I'd actually suspect that chocolate would be a touch shorter than normal, probably about 25, great in bed, and capable of being an experience entirely unto herself. Makes every guy want to cuddle close to her and not let go until the morning.

Yeah, chocolate is about sex. So what?

The Freud in my head is telling me this is about sex.

Now is not the time for Mrs. LG to be baking warm chocolate pie.

The Freud in my head is telling me this is about sex.

Now is not the time for Mrs. LG to be baking warm chocolate pie.

cake and too late. :)

Chocolate would be a beautiful woman with come-hither eyes. You barely have to open your mouth to say something and she's all yours.

And then you wake up, she's gone - and taken a load of your possessions with her.

You feel like a fool, you swear you'll never have a one night stand again - you'll never have fucking sex again.

But then you see her again. Maybe not her, but someone who looks just like her. And you figure that you really enjoyed the last time and it's not like you've lost all your stuff yet. And the whole horrid experience repeats itself.

Chocolate is like a hermaphrodite, it can be either. :eek:

Chocolate is like GoG's penis. I can't possibly get enough of it.

Chocolate is like a hermaphrodite, it can be either. :eek:

That just doesn't sound appetizing. Maybe it's because I never met a pretty hermaphrodite.

Are there any?

Okay, more odd than usual. My thought is this: If chocolate were a person, what kind of person would it be?
Man or woman? What nationality? Any unusual characteristics?
Black man with a dirty gun in the hand, pimpin' all around.

Milk Chocolate: Beautiful, sensual girl with luscious lips, a curvy figure, and a voice that could make McCain hard.

Dark Chocolate: Pissy old hag who shakes her cane at you and tells you to get off her fucking lawn!

Homosexual man. Consider-

Who do women turn to when they have problems?
Their gay friends.
What do women turn to when they have problems?
Chocolate.

I rest my case.

Depends on the kind of chocolate. Dark chocolate? White chocolate? Milk chocolate? Hersey's? Dove? Lindt?

Be specific!

Chocolate would definitely be Keith Hamilton Cobb. Tall, dark, unbelievably good-looking, smooth, sensuous, deep voice. -- oh yeah!

Chocolate would definitely be Keith Hamilton Cobb. Tall, dark, unbelievably good-looking, smooth, sensuous, deep voice. -- oh yeah!

Your chocolate talks to you...:confused:

Your chocolate talks to you...:confused:

Yes, in fact, the M&Ms in my kitchen are calling me now.

Yes, in fact, the M&Ms in my kitchen are calling me now.

What do they sound like? :tongue:

What do they sound like? :tongue:

Compelling and delicious.

I had an odd thought today.

...

Okay, more odd than usual. My thought is this: If chocolate were a person, what kind of person would it be?

Man or woman? What nationality? Any unusual characteristics?

Personally, I think chocolate is a woman. A Brazilian exotic dancer to be exact. *nod*

Chocolate is that one special friend that occasionally hops into a glass of plain milk, instantly creating a simple treat.

Chocolate is that one special friend that occasionally hops into a glass of plain milk, instantly creating a simple treat.

I have at least three or four that would do that. Lord knows I would. :)

Wouldn't chocolate be more likely to be wearing an overly large jumper and huddled under a duvet whilst watching TV?

Chocolate has bad complexion and greasy skin and makes you feel self-conscious in public for getting involved with.

All chocolates are women, but all women are not chocolates

I had an odd thought today.

...

Okay, more odd than usual. My thought is this: If chocolate were a person, what kind of person would it be?

Man or woman? What nationality? Any unusual characteristics?

Personally, I think chocolate is a woman. A Brazilian exotic dancer to be exact. *nod*

Me. Who else could it be?

Simple: Barry White. (singing "Never, Never Gonna Give You Up")

Who else could be so sweet and smooth? :confused:

I had an odd thought today.

Okay, more odd than usual. My thought is this: If chocolate were a person, what kind of person would it be?

Firstly, Chocolate is one of those people who is a joy to meet, fun for a while, but totally impossible to live with.

Secondly, Chocolate is one of those people who gets along famously with some other people (Coffee, Bananas) but is fights viciously with others (Toothpaste, Wine.)

Thirdly, Chocolate is the sort of person your kids love, but who you would never trust to mind them out of your sight.

And fourthly, Chocolate is the sort of person you really don't want to have sex with first thing in the morning. She'll never let you out of bed, you'll lose your job and she'll go psycho on you if you even try to brush your teeth.

Surely depends on the chocolate.
A super rich dark chocolate would be, as LG stated, an exotic Brazilian dancer - Queen of the Rio Carnival.
creamy white chocolate is a 6ft-tall Norwegian blonde with an S&M fetish.
Cadbury's milk chocolate on the other hand would be an accountant from Wisconsin.
Hershey's chocolate would be a unwashed bum cleaning car windows for spare change.

Milk Chocolate: Beautiful, sensual girl with luscious lips, a curvy figure, and a voice that could make McCain hard.

Dark Chocolate: Pissy old hag who shakes her cane at you and tells you to get off her fucking lawn!


But what about white chocolate?

And LG, are you on a sugar high at the moment?

Yes, in fact, the M&Ms in my kitchen are calling me now.
Compelling and delicious.
Are they telling you to get the largest knife in the house, because, if so, I don't think you should listen to them.

I've met Chocolate before. He was a black stripper with a large penis, and he could do something quite impressive with some whipped cream, a banana, and a basket of cherries. I won't say what, because there might be children present, but let's just say you wouldn't be that interested in having the banana back when he was done with it.

Don't be ridiculous.

Chocolate is a food. Both women and men are people. I am not a fucking cannibal...

Chocolate is a food. Both women and men are people. I am not a fucking cannibal...
A person is just a cannibal who isn't hungry yet.

But what about white chocolate?


That's a tough one. I'll get back to you.

One thing I will say is that nutty chocolate is obviously insane.

Chocolate is a food. Both women and men are people. I am not a fucking cannibal...

What is it with all the Queenslanders swearing tonight?

That's a tough one. I'll get back to you.

One thing I will say is that nutty chocolate is obviously insane.

:)

But what about white chocolate?

And LG, are you on a sugar high at the moment?

It is notoriously hard to tell if I'm on a sugar buzz or not. :)

Really?

I'd say that chocolate would definitely be a woman, but I'd downgrade the fiery sexiness from Brazilian exotic dancer, though. I'd actually suspect that chocolate would be a touch shorter than normal, probably about 25, great in bed, and capable of being an experience entirely unto herself. Makes every guy want to cuddle close to her and not let go until the morning.

Yeah, chocolate is about sex. So what?

Sweet, I'm made of chocolate!

I had an odd thought today.

...

Okay, more odd than usual. My thought is this: If chocolate were a person, what kind of person would it be?

Man or woman? What nationality? Any unusual characteristics?

Personally, I think chocolate is a woman. A Brazilian exotic dancer to be exact. *nod*

You know nothing about chocolate...you are obviously an heretic.

I, Santiago I, pope of the One and Only Holy and Apostolic Church of Chocolate have decided to exchocolatate you.For ever and ever!

Begone foul demon!!!

Despite Obama's speech on Pennsylvanians, Hershey's Chocolate is suprisingly not bitter.

:D

I'd say it depends entirely on the type of chocolate you're talking about. If, for example, we're talking smooth milk chocolate then I'll have to go with a gentle-eyed, soft-spoken girl who just wants to make you happy.

If, on the other hand, we're talking slightly spicy chocolate - say, ginger, or the infamous Montezumas chili chocolate, then it's gotta be a fiery, possibly Brazilian, girl who's gonna kick your arse and make you love it.

There's far too much variety in the chocolate world to pin it down to one kind of person, but I'd say there's a realistic anthropormorphisation for every variety you can think of. And yes, mine are female - I have no doubt that it's a gender-specific thing.

Sweet, I'm made of chocolate!

But of course. Chocolate is definitely you. It was my first thought when I happened upon this thread.