NationStates Jolt Archive

For those of us who use tongue other than our native one to communicate to speakers of that language, what's your best blooper? When you meant to say one thing in another language but ended up saying something completely different?

For me, mine was screwing up the word shinigami (lit. death god, or god of death). Last school year I had a rather interesting math teacher who sat behind me in the staff room at my school and who, for various reasons, took an interest in the two foreigners who sat close to him. He'd often ask us questions about our respective countries, but then would wander off on weird tangents having to do with poetry, religion, and government (All at the same time mind you). One day he asked us about what a scythe was and why the grim reaper carried one. He also asked what the grim reaper was. I managed to get the Japanese term, shinigami, right in that instance to explain how the reaper is viewed in the west.

The blooper came the next morning when I was telling my Japanese wife about this strange conversation and attempted to say shinigami again. I didn't say shinigami, I said shinigame, which is a very different word. Kami (gami) means god in Japanese. Kame (game) however means turtle. Yup, I informed my wife that the grim reaper is a turtle of death!

Fear the Turtle of Death!

So what bloopers have you done?

Not mine, but a French teacher once related to the class a story about a former student who had gone to France as part of a foreign exchange program. Apparently at the time (this was a long time ago) a big topic of conversation in the U.S. was the use of preservatives in milk. The student, trying to make small talk, asked his foreign hosts one day at the dinner table if il y a des prevatifs dans le lait francais. As this was not a terribly exciting topic, he was completely nonplussed when the French couple looked shocked and then burst into laughter.

Unfortunately, what he'd actually asked was, "Are there condoms in French milk?"

What's was that line...the definition of a freudian slip is meaning one thing but saying your mother?

Not mine either, buuut...

My spanish teacher used to have a house in the dominican republic, and one day while shopping in the market, he went to a fruit vendor and asked her how much for the papaya in her cart. The thing is, he had been taught that papaya in spanish is, well, 'papaya.' So the same thing. But the woman got horribly offended and it wasn't until after he got back home and asked his maid what he had done wrong that he learned that in the spanish dialect from the dominican republic, 'papaya' means pussy. And I don't mean the cat.

:D

I think I've posted some of my best ones already, but here are some.

When doing a homestay in Mexico, I asked "Donde esta el bolsa?" (Where is the purse/pocket?) when trying to say "Donde esta el bano?" (Where's the bathroom?)

I once invited some friend to a "yakigyunu" (esentially an nonsense word - "roast cows milk") party instead of a "yakiniku" (grilled meat) party.

By confusing "taberu" (eat) and "shaberu" (talk), I once informed a girlfriend I was going to go eat my friend rather than talk to him.

The Japanese for nephew is "oi", often said with "o" tacked on the front and "ko" tacked on the end. A couple years ago, I was talking with a friend of a friend. The subject of family came up. Turns out I have nephew and she has a neice ("mei" in Japanese, sometimes with "o", but never with "ko"). I pulled out my cell phone and showed her a picture of my "oiko". I then asked if she could show a picture of her neice. Anyone familiar with the Kansai dialect should know what happened next... yep, I tacked "ko" on the end by mistake, turning "niece" into "****"... (>.<)

Then there was the time when I was trying to say "I am a person, and I have rights too." My co-worker insisted I wasn't. Turns out I was using "ninjin" (carrot) and "ningen" (person), and thus saying "I am a carrot, and I have rights too!" :tongue: (Linguistic note: "jin" is one reading of the Japanese character for person.)

A good friend of mine once walked into a little local bar and bought a round for all his friends because it was his "kyoryubi". Everyone was wondering why, when he realised what he'd said and corrected himself to "kyuryobi". (first was "dinosaur day", second was "pay day")

Students are often a source of good ones - too many to remember.
Some off the top of my head:
(Talking about a picture of a minister)
"He works in a church. He's a Jesus."
"He's God."

(In a repetition exercise, repeating "give my regards to everyone"):
"Give my cigars to everyone."
"Give my knickers to everyone."

"I'm dyin' here; gimme a beer"= "los muertes de cervecas"
*hides head in shame*

My french teacher last year told me of a student she brought to france. They asked where the bathroom was, Ou est la salle de bains?. Well, she went and used the facilities, but when she flushed, the "toilet" turned out not to be a toilet. She should have asked Ou sont les toilettes?

One of the funniest ones I remember was in a French class years and years ago, when I discovered the verb "egorger" in my dictionary, and mentioned it to classmates. One of them jokingly commented that she was tired enough that "je voudrais m'egorger!" Another classmate heard this, without hearing me state the definition, and apparently simply tried to guess the meaning from context. As our teacher walked into the room, she declared cheerfully, "Bonjour, mademoiselle! Je voudrais t'egorger!"

Mademoiselle's eyes went rather wide and she said, "....non, merci."

My classmate said, "Wait, what did I say?"

At which point the rest of the class, cracking up, explained that she had just said, "Hi, miss! I would like to slit your throat!"

My poor classmate turned quite pink and spent the next several minutes explaining that she did not actually intend to threaten to kill our teacher. :tongue:

The German word wer means 'who'. The German word wo means 'where'. Because wer and 'where' sound similar, students taking German here often confuse the two. This leads to situations like asking "Who is the toilet?"

I'm sure I make these mistakes in Chinese all the time but context remains king.

The example I use is that if I say: I hit the ball with my bat - I hardly think people assume I'm talking about small furry flying animals.

One issue I always have is that where the word is hard to decipher, people will draw the Chinese character in the air, to which I respond 'seriously, if I'm having difficulty with the word, you think I can catch your air drawing?'

Though I'm probably saying 'I sleep with dogs, how's your mother's apples?'

Once a fellow French student confused jambe (leg) with jambon (ham). Needless to say, our teacher was quite confused by all the pain he had in his ham. :tongue:

I tried to order an enchilada dinner at a mexican restaurant one time. The waiter asked me if I wanted red or green, so I just repeated my order in english and he understood.

An old guy on my block served in World War II, from Normandy to Bastogne. Once he captured a German soldier and shouted, "Haende hoch! Oder ich scheisse!" That was supposed to be "schiesse"; he was saying "Hands up! Or I'll sh-t!" The prisoner couldn't help it, he laughed and laughed.

She should have asked Où sont les toilettes?

Fixed.

Apologies for the grammar nazisim.

Fixed.

Apologies for the grammar nazisim.

Much appreciated actually. School starts again in 2 weeks and I haven't looked at my French notebook since school ended. Madame wouldn't be happy.

Ugh...okay there are a few words in Cree that are extremely dependent on the stress, the lengthening of the vowel. It can be hard to hear at first, so some mistakes are pretty common. There are also double meanings to words so yeah.

A simple one is nîpa/nipâ...the first means to kill, the second means to sleep. So yeah...a couple of times I've said 'I was killing'.

But worse...to say you have a thing in Cree, you say nitâyân. But men also say this when referring to their genitals. So, if you aren't VERY clearly using a second word after the 'I have it' part, you're going to get laughed at. And not told why until everyone hears about it, in great detail, and more laughing is had at your expense.

Bastards.

Much appreciated actually. School starts again in 2 weeks and I haven't looked at my French notebook since school ended. Madame wouldn't be happy.

I haven't had a French class since Spring '07 :(

Stupid military deployment pulling me out of school...

Still, if I hadn't corrected it my last language teacher (a M. Mélin at l'Université Catholique de l'Ouest in Angers) would have found me and broken a whiskey bottle over my head.

Fixed.

Apologies for the grammar nazisim.

Heh. Don't bother fixing my missing accent, though - I know it ought to be there, but I'm too lazy to bother with it on a computer that's not set up to give me accents easily. :tongue:

Heh. Don't bother fixing my missing accent, though - I know it ought to be there, but I'm too lazy to bother with it on a computer that's not set up to give me accents easily. :tongue:

Obtenez un Mac, sil vous plaît. I'm just plain lazy to mess with accents. :p

My favourite blooper story was about this woman who had gone down to Mexico to help teach at a language school there (she was teaching English). At the end of her term, in front of students and teachers, the principal of the school made some glowing comments about her performance. She got up and thanked him, saying that the principal had made her 'muy embarazada'.

Which means pregnant, not embarassed.

Yes!

Obtenez un Mac, sil vous plaît. I'm just plain lazy to mess with accents. :p

I have a Mac, but its internal modem is broken, so I have to use my PC for internets. I'm not lazy about accents on the Mac, but here - meh. :tongue:

I have a Mac, but its internal modem is broken, so I have to use my PC for internets. I'm not lazy about accents on the Mac, but here - meh. :tongue:

Oh that sucks. And Apple has a $50 USB modem. There's cheaper ones elsewhere too. Or you could just get broadband.

I was speaking to a German Exchange student. She must have been lonely for someone to speak German to her (so it seemed), so she brought up the subject of animals, and specifically, birds.

Thats all well and fine, I'm decent enough in German, especially for a casual conversation about birds (so I thought), well I start saying how I don't like like Vögeln because it's too loud. Well, it turns out this is not the German plural for 'bird' and spoken it sounds like a vulgar form of the word 'sex'. The girl corrected me, and explained my error.

Nothing like a cute German girl to tell me that I'm saying I don't like sex because it's too loud, or that I have friends that have sex (or birds?) and it's always to loud....

Embarrassing, and emblushening.

Oh that sucks. And Apple has a $50 USB modem. There's cheaper ones elsewhere too. Or you could just get broadband.

Or, she could just keeping using her PC for dem internetz. (Or everything).

I like some of the linguistic differences between the various English-speaking cultures. Whether it's Aussies being shocked when Americans talk about fannies (that is, rear ends--not female reproductive organs), or Americans blinking in surprise when they see Aussie signs on restaurants telling them they can't where thongs (that is, sandals--not the underwear) inside.

And there are the less entertaining differences... how are you going vs. how are you doing, etcetera...

Or, she could just keeping using her PC for dem internetz. (Or everything).

How did I not see this coming from you? [/Sarcasm]

How did I not see this coming from you? [/Sarcasm]

Thats a good question.

Thats a good question.

One I intend to find an answer to...

But worse...to say you have a thing in Cree, you say nitâyân. But men also say this when referring to their genitals. So, if you aren't VERY clearly using a second word after the 'I have it' part, you're going to get laughed at. And not told why until everyone hears about it, in great detail, and more laughing is had at your expense.

Bastards.

Hee. I've heard the same thing from Filipino friends, strangely--must be similar community culture or something.

I hope Mohawk doesn't use tones... I will really never learn it then. I got teased all through high school for my horrid butchering of Mandarin (and I only "spoke" a few sentences of it).

Hee. I've heard the same thing from Filipino friends, strangely--must be similar community culture or something.

I hope Mohawk doesn't use tones... I will really never learn it then. I got teased all through high school for my horrid butchering of Mandarin (and I only "spoke" a few sentences of it).

Sorry...but Mohawk is actually worse when it comes to tone. Cree just has long and short vowels...various mohawk dialects have short-high tone, long high-tone and long falling-tone vowels, although the stress is easier to figure out than Cree. They also have glottal stops and no labials and an even smaller alphabet than in Cree...they have only 12 letters..."a e h i k n o r s t w y". Far from making things easier, it makes pronunciation even tricker and more important.

Nothing too embarrassing for me (that I didn't block out). When I was 6-7 and first learned English while we were on sabbatical in the US, I used to pronounce chips as ships. My mother would get a laugh from it.

My favourite blooper story was about this woman who had gone down to Mexico to help teach at a language school there (she was teaching English). At the end of her term, in front of students and teachers, the principal of the school made some glowing comments about her performance. She got up and thanked him, saying that the principal had made her 'muy embarazada'.

Which means pregnant, not embarassed.

Yes!

:D Fortunately, I never mad that one. But one of the girls going to language school I went to made that one. It's a classic.

A great classic that Japanese newbs make is confusing "kowai" (scary) and "kawaii" (cute).

The other is "kirei" and "kirai". When one of my friends here first met the woman he later married, he was fresh off the boat. Another friend, trying to give him some help told him to say she was kerei. When he tried, it came out "Anata no kao kirai." He was rather embarassed to learn that instead of saying "your face is pretty" he'd said "I don't like your face." :tongue:

Oh, and the mention of tonal languages reminds me of another one that happened to a friend. He speaks fluent Thai. One day he was having lunch in Bangkok, when a Brit came in and ordered tea. Unfortunately, this guy's Thai wasn't so good, and he messed up the tones so that instead of sugar, he ordered "tea with vaginal secretion". The poor waitress apparently didn't catch that he wanted sugar, and asked what he wanted. He repeated it. So she went back into the kitchen to ask the chef what to do about this guy. The chef cracked up, and shouted out loud enough that my friend could catch it, "squat over a cup!"

There's a gallery here called Total Kunst. I know what it means but most people who see it are confused.

I make mistakes in languages, but nothing embaressing. A friend who lives in Spain asked for tetugas at a market once, instead of letugas, and apparently tetugas means breasts and the stallholder found it hilarious and whenever she sees her she shout "Karin, Karin, would you like some breasts?" even if she's not anywhere near that particular woman's stall.

I was speaking to a German Exchange student. She must have been lonely for someone to speak German to her (so it seemed), so she brought up the subject of animals, and specifically, birds.

Thats all well and fine, I'm decent enough in German, especially for a casual conversation about birds (so I thought), well I start saying how I don't like like Vögeln because it's too loud. Well, it turns out this is not the German plural for 'bird' and spoken it sounds like a vulgar form of the word 'sex'. The girl corrected me, and explained my error.

Nothing like a cute German girl to tell me that I'm saying I don't like sex because it's too loud, or that I have friends that have sex (or birds?) and it's always to loud....

Embarrassing, and emblushening.

Yes! :D

Vögel: plural of birds.

There are tons of fun ones in German. One of the ones sticking out (though I'm sure many will come to me later in the day) was when I was walking with some friends through the street in Northern Switzerland and we were chatting about these nice clothes that were on sale in this store. When I read it the big red sign said "Total Liquidation!" I had to laugh because the first thing that came to mind was the Iraqi Desolators from Red Alert II shooting liquid radiation and totally liquidating their enemies!


http://images.wikia.com/cnc/images/a/a5/Desolator.jpg

Good ones happen in direct German-English translations. Like "I was blooding really bad from that cut yesterday." "He went out to fall some trees."

But the BEST one. I was with some friends and family in Switzerland going to visit a natural beauty. It's where the Aare river cuts through the mountains and it's just simply fantastic. Anyway we were on the way there and I was talking to them about going to see the beautiful Aareschlucht (Aare river gorge). Unfortunatly Aareschlucht sounds alot like Arschloch. So I told all of them that we're going to see the beautiful Arschloch. Problem is. Arschloch means the asshole in German. :p I knew the difference, but it just came out. lol

Iraqi Desolators, I miss those guys.

"I'm dyin' here; gimme a beer"= "los muertes de cervecas"
*hides head in shame*

:D
For future reference: "Me muero, dádme una cerveza". (Of course, that's in my Spanish.)

Language bloopers: I often confuse the 'in' with the 'on' when talking and writing in English.

Language bloopers: I often confuse the 'in' with the 'on' when talking and writing in English.

Yeah, in my experience as both a student and teacher of foreign languages, preositions (and postpositions) can be tricky.

In, at, and on tend to be especially trick in English. And wa, (w)o, ga, and ni can still cause me fits in Japanese...

Well, I found out the hard way some years ago that "Buenos dias, come caca." does not mean "Good day, how are you".:$

Well, I found out the hard way some years ago that "Buenos dias, come caca." does not mean "Good day, how are you".:$

:D

Indeed it doesn't.

Vous flânez, il y avez des poissons dans votre bibliothèque ! :)

In my spanish class in college, I remember reading some selections in front of the 100+ person class. If I remember correctly, it was about a lady going to the market. However, the phrase "pecha" came up quite a bit, but I misread it as "pecho" several times. This was pointed out, of course, after I was done, the former meaning "it takes" and the latter meaning chest, or breast in context.

:D

Indeed it doesn't.

It is, however, a fairly common practical joke where I grew up.

In American Sign Language (which for the record is also used in Canada), the sign for "meet" and the sign for "fuck" are different by one finger...

http://www.geocities.com/mysignlanguage/images/sign/meet_meeting.jpg


Fuck uses two fingers on each hand with the same motion instead of one.




Nice to fuck you.

Supposedly a true story:
A woman loved the calligraphy on a banner than hung in the entryway of a Chinese restaurant she frequented. She carefully copied down the characters, and had them silk-screened on a T-shirt. She proudly wore this shirt on a visit to Hong Kong until her host asked her why she would go out in public wearing a shirt that said "Cheap and delicious!"

Unfortunately I only know one language...however, In the region i was in "NS Monarchies" we were trying to decide on a motto...

And i was saying it should be "God save the King" in Latin...

But, i used one of those internet translators, and ended up saying "Deus Servo Rex" which is something like "God to save(or i save) King)"

when it should have been "Deus servet Regem"...

not very funny, but a pain at the time nonetheless...

That region died quickly though when the creator ceased to exist, lol...

I think President Kennedy saying "Ich bin ein Berliner." is the best. A Berliner is a type of donut.....although everyone knew what he meant!

I think President Kennedy saying "Ich bin ein Berliner." is the best. A Berliner is a type of donut.....although everyone knew what he meant!

Conveniently enough, a Berliner is also a citizen of Berlin.

What is perhaps funny is this generations ridiculous exaggeration of the incredibly small grammatical error, that would lead one to see how the 'doughnut' thing got thrown in there in the first place. No doubt I am using grammar poorly in this post (not by intention) and I'm even speaking my native language.

Conveniently enough, a Berliner is also a citizen of Berlin.
Good thing the frontline city wasn't Hamburg or Frankfurt.

Yes! :D

Vögel: plural of birds.

I know that now!

See you were just being a jerk by not making sure I knew before I got into a conversation about birds with a German chick!

How's that for ridiculous conspiracy theory? :D

Good thing the frontline city wasn't Hamburg or Frankfurt.

:D stupid post size requierments!

It is, however, a fairly common practical joke where I grew up.

´Good morning, shit eater.´ That´s pretty much what they´rve saying with that phrase. :D

:D Fortunately, I never mad that one. But one of the girls going to language school I went to made that one. It's a classic.

A great classic that Japanese newbs make is confusing "kowai" (scary) and "kawaii" (cute).

The other is "kirei" and "kirai". When one of my friends here first met the woman he later married, he was fresh off the boat. Another friend, trying to give him some help told him to say she was kerei. When he tried, it came out "Anata no kao kirai." He was rather embarassed to learn that instead of saying "your face is pretty" he'd said "I don't like your face." :tongue:
Another one I have problems with is the hard Japanese 'H' sounds since, of course as an English speaker, I tend to slur it. This is a problem when I was teaching my kids about St. Patrick's Day and was dramatically pointing and exclaiming, "Ebi! Iko!" with my kids wondering why, after talking about snakes, I was telling the shrimp to leave.

Language bloopers: I often confuse the 'in' with the 'on' when talking and writing in English.
My wife does that, usually with rather funny results. One of the best ones she came up with was when we were camping. She jokingly challenged me to carry her piggyback to our car so I obliged. After a minute she realized I was seriously going to carry her back so she started screaming through the parking lot, "Get me off! Get me off!"

I could only respond, "What? Here? Now? In front of everyone?" When I finally explained what she had said and why I found it funny I got hit, repeatedly. :D

So what bloopers have you done?
In my first year in school here, I once referred to a girl's chest as a "great racket". :rolleyes:

Question being what's worse: the blooper, or the fact that I thought it would be a good thing to say in the first place.

For those of us who use tongue other than our native one to communicate to speakers of that language, what's your best blooper? When you meant to say one thing in another language but ended up saying something completely different?

For me, mine was screwing up the word shinigami (lit. death god, or god of death). Last school year I had a rather interesting math teacher who sat behind me in the staff room at my school and who, for various reasons, took an interest in the two foreigners who sat close to him. He'd often ask us questions about our respective countries, but then would wander off on weird tangents having to do with poetry, religion, and government (All at the same time mind you). One day he asked us about what a scythe was and why the grim reaper carried one. He also asked what the grim reaper was. I managed to get the Japanese term, shinigami, right in that instance to explain how the reaper is viewed in the west.

The blooper came the next morning when I was telling my Japanese wife about this strange conversation and attempted to say shinigami again. I didn't say shinigami, I said shinigame, which is a very different word. Kami (gami) means god in Japanese. Kame (game) however means turtle. Yup, I informed my wife that the grim reaper is a turtle of death!

Fear the Turtle of Death!

So what bloopers have you done?

Ah, nervun-san wa nihon go ga dekimasu ka? :p

I remember one time I was in japanese class and some chap was trying to say difficult (which is tai-hen) but accidentally said hentai (which means perverted or anime pron). XD

I once messed up an order to a spanish speaking man, by asking for a marico instead of a marisco( i believe those are the words). I asked for a faggot instead of a shell fish. :p

I think President Kennedy saying "Ich bin ein Berliner." is the best. A Berliner is a type of donut.....although everyone knew what he meant!

Ah yes, this old urban legend. Not only did he not say he was a jelly doughnet, the "ein" is a grammatically needed.

Did President Kennedy Say He Was a Jelly Doughnut?

There is a persistent claim that JFK's famous German phrase, "Ich bin ein Berliner," was a gaffe that translates as "I am a jelly doughnut." But when Kennedy made that statement in a West Berlin speech in 1963, his German audience understood exactly what his words meant: "I am a citizen of Berlin." They also understood that he was saying that he stood by them in their Cold War battle against the Berlin Wall and a divided Germany.

No one laughed at or misunderstood President Kennedy's words spoken in German. In fact, he had been provided help from translators who knew the language well. He wrote out the key phrase phonetically and practiced it before his speech in front of the Schöneberger Rathaus (town hall) in Berlin, and his words were warmly received. Yet this German myth has been perpetuated by teachers of German and other people who should know better. Although a "Berliner" is also a type of jelly doughnut, in the context used by JFK it could not have been misunderstood any more than if I told you "I am a danish" in English. You might think I was crazy, but you wouldn't think I was claiming to be a citizen of Denmark (Dänemark). Here is Kennedy's full statement:

All free men, wherever they live, are citizens of Berlin, and, therefore, as a free man, I take pride in the words, “Ich bin ein Berliner.”

Part of the problem here stems from the fact that in statements of nationality or citizenship, German often leaves off the "ein." But in Kennedy's statement, the "ein" was correct and expressed that he was "one" of them. Not only that, but in Berlin a jelly doughnut is actually called ein Pfannkuchen, not ein Berliner. (In most of Germany, der Pfannkuchen means "pancake.") Over the years there have been translation or interpreting errors with U.S. public officials abroad, but this isn't one of them.
http://german.about.com/library/blgermyth06.htm

Linguist Jürgen Eichhoff laid decades of misinformation to rest with a concise grammatical analysis of Kennedy's statement in the academic journal Monatshefte in 1993. "'Ich bin ein Berliner' is not only correct," Eichhoff wrote, "but the one and only correct way of expressing in German what the President intended to say."

An actual Berliner would say, in proper German, "Ich bin Berliner." But that wouldn't have been the correct phrase for Kennedy to use. The indefinite article "ein" is required, Eichhoff explains, to express a metaphorical identification between subject and predicate. Otherwise, the speaker could be taken to say he is literally a citizen of Berlin.
http://urbanlegends.about.com/cs/historical/a/jfk_berliner_2.htm

I think President Kennedy saying "Ich bin ein Berliner." is the best. A Berliner is a type of donut.....although everyone knew what he meant!
That gets thrown out all the time. It wasn't an error. He had an American journalist who spoke fluent German and had been living in Berlin for the past 10 or 15 years (can't remember how long) translate that statement into German for him. True, a Berliner is a type of jelly donut. However no German would use it (berliner as a jelly donut) in the way he said it so didn't take it any other way than how Kennedy meant it.
It would be the same as someone saying to an audience, "I am a New Yorker" and everyone in the crowd thinking he meant he was a weekly satirical magazine or a hotel (or possibly even a old Chrysler car).
Not going to happen.


Not mine but from a book I read about the History of Cocaine. The author was deep in Bolivia at a village. The villagers were distrustful of him, thinking him a possible US spy, until he got up to speak. He told them in Spanish he was a journalist and had been working on his book for many years. Unfortunately he said anos instead of años for 'years'. At that the villagers cracked up and decided even the CIA wouldn't send someone that dumb to spy on them.

´Good morning, shit eater.´ That´s pretty much what they´rve saying with that phrase. :D

Sure, I know that now, but I did actually say that to someone before I caught my error. That's one mistake you don't repeat.

That gets thrown out all the time. It wasn't an error. He had an American journalist who spoke fluent German and had been living in Berlin for the past 10 or 15 years (can't remember how long) translate that statement into German for him. True, a Berliner is a type of jelly donut. However no German would use it (berliner as a jelly donut) in the way he said it so didn't take it any other way than how Kennedy meant it.
It would be the same as someone saying to an audience, "I am a New Yorker" and everyone in the crowd thinking he meant he was a weekly satirical magazine or a hotel (or possibly even a old Chrysler car).
Not going to happen.

And that's aside from the twin facts that:
1) "ein" was needed, as I pointed out above, for correct grammar

2) in the local dialect, jelly doughnut is "ein pfannkuchen", not "ein Berliner", as also pointed out above.

One I encountered often in high school French was the difference between "visiter" and "visiter chez". According to our teacher, to say you visited someone was to say you made a booty call, whereas to say "visiter chez" meant you visited their home, so it was a constant source of amusement was people saying things like: "J'ai visite ma grandmere (grandmother)" ewwww

I make mistakes in languages, but nothing embaressing. A friend who lives in Spain asked for tetugas at a market once, instead of letugas, and apparently tetugas means breasts and the stallholder found it hilarious and whenever she sees her she shout "Karin, Karin, would you like some breasts?" even if she's not anywhere near that particular woman's stall.

Didn't know tetugas meant breasts. "Tetas" is another matter. But slang is a rich thing.

:D
For future reference: "Me muero, dádme una cerveza". (Of course, that's in my Spanish.)

Language bloopers: I often confuse the 'in' with the 'on' when talking and writing in English.

Or in gerund, to be more proper with dying..."Me estoy muriendo por una cerveza", or "Me estoy muriendo, dame una cerveza".

Blooper addition: To the "on" and "in", add the "at". I confuse those a lot.

I once messed up an order to a spanish speaking man, by asking for a marico instead of a marisco( i believe those are the words). I asked for a faggot instead of a shell fish. :p

Yup, it was for sure some northern latinoamerican.

I have some:

One of my cousins came from Spain, and tried to scale some rocks to the side of a small waterfall. As she was climbing, she slipped for a bit, and whispered to the guy waiting for her up the rocks "cójeme, cójeme". In Spain, "cójeme" is just an informal form of "grab me", or "take me" or "pick me up". Here in Venezuela we use "agarrar" for grabbing things or people, because "cojer" is an extremely common slang for "fuck", similar to the "take me" usage in english.

So the guy looks at her perplexed and said. "Are you sure?", and my cousin said "claro, cójeme, vamos", (of course, fuck me, c'mon), in a low voice. So the guy smiles and says "Tonight? I know a good place around". And kept smiling and trying to chat twice more until my cousin shouted something alongside the lines of "No esta noche, cabrón, ahora, que me cojas la mano y me subas". (not tonight, asshole, now, grab my hand and pick me up). Then he understood. He was embarrassed the rest of the trip. The funny thing is that as at first she was whispering or talking very low, the guy thought it was a private or intimate business.

Another common mistake linked to that one is that brazilian people have a hard time trying to spell the "rr" sound properly, and when they try, it sounds like a "j". That makes the word "correr", (to run), sound like "cojer", (to fuck). So, a brazilian woman once said "Me fascina correr, yo corro todas las noches, quieres correr conmigo uno de estos días" (I love to run, I run everyday, want to run one of these days with me?), sounded like "I love to fuck, I fuck everynight, want to fuck with me one of these days with me". The fact that she was brazilian didn't helped, so she ended with a long line of guys asking to "correr" with her.

Once, in the #nationstates channel, I wrote a typo that got me banned. I wrote "I feel really fappy", instead of "really happy". The bot of the chat room got me banned because the use of the words "fap" and "fappy", were banned, apparently by the abuse of the onomatopeyic sound of male masturbation it implies.

In spanish the word "carpeta" means "folder". As you may see, it is extremely similar to carpet, as in "rug". Once I had a hard time explaining to an american by phone that he should "abrir la carpeta", meaning "open the folder", to find the document. The guy insisted that "No esta en la carpeta", because, well, he was raising the carpet from the floor to see if the DOCUMENT was UNDER the carpet, and not INSIDE the folder. What enraged me was that I said if he understood me and he said "perfecto, pero no estar". (Perfectly, but the document isn't there).

One I encountered often in high school French was the difference between "visiter" and "visiter chez". According to our teacher, to say you visited someone was to say you made a booty call, whereas to say "visiter chez" meant you visited their home, so it was a constant source of amusement was people saying things like: "J'ai visite ma grandmere (grandmother)" ewwww
Another one to be careful of is the word "baise" (pronounced similar to the english word "baize"). Checking the dictionary you'll see that its first meaning is "kiss". And the second? - "fuck". Exactly the same word, spelling and pronounciation, only context determines the meaning. Romances can progress quite quickly here in France - or not.
To make it even better, our local river is the River Baise.............. so, to spare ones blushes, an umlaut is put over the "i" to change the pronounciation from "baize" to "bye-ease"

Didn't know tetugas meant breasts. "Tetas" is another matter. But slang is a rich thing.

Más bien es "tetucas". Ese término lo usamos en Asturias para referirnos a los senos de una mujer.

Or in gerund, to be more proper with dying..."Me estoy muriendo por una cerveza", or "Me estoy muriendo, dame una cerveza".

Blooper addition: To the "on" and "in", add the "at". I confuse those a lot.

Indeed. But yes, the "on", "in" and the "at" can confuse at times.


Yup, it was for sure some northern latinoamerican.

I have some:

One of my cousins came from Spain, and tried to scale some rocks to the side of a small waterfall. As she was climbing, she slipped for a bit, and whispered to the guy waiting for her up the rocks "cójeme, cójeme". In Spain, "cójeme" is just an informal form of "grab me", or "take me" or "pick me up". Here in Venezuela we use "agarrar" for grabbing things or people, because "cojer" is an extremely common slang for "fuck", similar to the "take me" usage in english.

Yup, right in that aspect. For the vulgar term of "fuck", we use "cojer". It proves grating to me whenever I visit my grandparents in Puerto Rico and someone yells "cóje el teléfono". I fume and grow red in the face. :p

So the guy looks at her perplexed and said. "Are you sure?", and my cousin said "claro, cójeme, vamos", (of course, fuck me, c'mon), in a low voice. So the guy smiles and says "Tonight? I know a good place around". And kept smiling and trying to chat twice more until my cousin shouted something alongside the lines of "No esta noche, cabrón, ahora, que me cojas la mano y me subas". (not tonight, asshole, now, grab my hand and pick me up). Then he understood. He was embarrassed the rest of the trip. The funny thing is that as at first she was whispering or talking very low, the guy thought it was a private or intimate business.

Joder, pero qué mucha risa me ha dado esta última parte. :D

Another common mistake linked to that one is that brazilian people have a hard time trying to spell the "rr" sound properly, and when they try, it sounds like a "j". That makes the word "correr", (to run), sound like "cojer", (to fuck). So, a brazilian woman once said "Me fascina correr, yo corro todas las noches, quieres correr conmigo uno de estos días" (I love to run, I run everyday, want to run one of these days with me?), sounded like "I love to fuck, I fuck everynight, want to fuck with me one of these days with me". The fact that she was brazilian didn't helped, so she ended with a long line of guys asking to "correr" with her.

"Me corro", "te corres", "nos corremos" is synonym in Spain with having an orgasm. More explicit, to cum. LMAO!

In spanish the word "carpeta" means "folder". As you may see, it is extremely similar to carpet, as in "rug". Once I had a hard time explaining to an american by phone that he should "abrir la carpeta", meaning "open the folder", to find the document. The guy insisted that "No esta en la carpeta", because, well, he was raising the carpet from the floor to see if the DOCUMENT was UNDER the carpet, and not INSIDE the folder. What enraged me was that I said if he understood me and he said "perfecto, pero no estar". (Perfectly, but the document isn't there).

:D:D:D
Next time, "folio" could bode better.

Supposedly a true story:
A woman loved the calligraphy on a banner than hung in the entryway of a Chinese restaurant she frequented. She carefully copied down the characters, and had them silk-screened on a T-shirt. She proudly wore this shirt on a visit to Hong Kong until her host asked her why she would go out in public wearing a shirt that said "Cheap and delicious!"

Reminds me of the story told about MacArthur's run for the presidency. He was quite populkar as the head of SCAP, the US occupation authority after the war in Japan. Supposedly there was banner hung in either Shinjuku or Ginza saying "We Play for MacArthur's Erection".

Lots of fun to be had with phonemes. I've been invited to "shit down" many times, for example...

My wife does that, usually with rather funny results. One of the best ones she came up with was when we were camping. She jokingly challenged me to carry her piggyback to our car so I obliged. After a minute she realized I was seriously going to carry her back so she started screaming through the parking lot, "Get me off! Get me off!"

I could only respond, "What? Here? Now? In front of everyone?" When I finally explained what she had said and why I found it funny I got hit, repeatedly. :D

Twas worth it though, I expect...

I was trying to hit on a girl from France with the only non-vulgar phrase I could think of, which my friends had told me was a good line. "je suis la jeune fille". I am a little girl. It did get her attention at least...


In Spanish class in high school, a teacher asked what I was doing, so I said looking at pictures. She asked of what, to which I replied "my dog". She didn't understand me, but I thought I had said it wrong, so I started listing things in the picture. For some reason, she kept telling me I was incorrect, so I finally just said "Tu", claiming that I was looking at pictures of her (there was a rumor that she had done porn floating around the school). She got embarassed and left me alone.

In a college spanish class, the morning after my 21st birthday when I was still shitfaced, my teacher told me I only had to answer one question and she would leave me alone to sober up for the rest of the day. She asked me "What is not in the classroom". I responded "Las vacas". Cows.

Someone was complaining about another person looking disgusting in a speedo, and I lectured them about some people needing those to prevent burning eyes.