Smunkeeville
16-08-2008, 06:02
The Faux-Animal Rights Party
The Faux-Animal Rights Party (furthermore known as FARp) is campaigning to gain rights for the faux-animals of the world. Everyday in this country tofu-turkey and soy milk flow. What of the Soy Cows? They are not even free range or grain fed, they are kept inside factories daily, never exercised! The faux-chickens that go into making "meatless" chicken nuggets would be happy to live in a battery farm. This injustice must stop!
1. WE recognize that faux-animals being a little less than alive also have rights and should be protected under law from the VERY REAL THREAT of being eaten. WE shall outlaw the eating of faux-animals.
2. WE recognize that faux-animals are being used to produce products for the comfort and fashion of the masses. Long ago we needed pleather, but that was in the 80's, in this day and age organic cotton and other materials can be used for coverings. It is frivolous and cruel to wear faux-suede shoes or faux-leopard print hand bags. These injustices to the faux-animal community must be stopped!
3. WE recognize that faux-animals are being hunted for sport and entertainment. Until this stops the population of faux-animals is in rapid decline. Think about it, when have you last seen a soy-cow? This raping of an entire eco-system is not only harmful to the faux-animals but to their predators, their prey and YOU! Hunting of faux-animals must be outlawed!
4. There is no point 4.
5. WE recognize that faux-animals are being used in animal testing of medications and cosmetics. This is cruel and sadistic. Faux-animals are nearly sentient and should not be forced without consent to participate in such so-called "science". While we at FARp do not have any actual evidence this is going on, we are sure it is happening and will work to remedy this heinous practice.
6. WE recognize that faux animals are being exploited online. They should be protected from sexual predators and faux-animal traffickers. There are websites RIGHT NOW where you can buy an inflatable sheep. Faux-animal trafficking is a moral tragedy and should be illegal.
7. WE recognize that faux animals are being held against their will as "pets" for many people, even small children have teddy bears, and they treat them horrendously. Faux-animals should not be a substitute for the real quality time and discipline of a parent. Faux animals are being exploited by fairs and claw games, literally offered as prizes to random people who could be psychopaths or worse. The ownership of faux-animals is increasing daily. It shall be against the law.
8.WE recognize that faux-animals are working in sub-faux-animal conditions for little or no pay. They are the underclass in every single culture worldwide. We of western values should put a stop to the endless running of the theoretical hamster that powers the NSG forums (and many of your automobiles). FARp will fight for equal pay and unionized protections for the faux-animal workers.
9. WE recognize that faux-animals are being discriminated against. Many people believe they are "just not good enough" or "not real". Faux-animals live, work, and play in your own neighborhood and the world should recognize them as worthy of rights and privileges.
10. WE recognize that faux-animals are being misrepresented in the media and aren't being given fair and equal time on the air-waves. The general public's attitude about faux-animals is based on stereotypes and sick anthrophomorphizations. Did you know faux cats speak perfect English? This lolcat pidgin must stop!
VOTE FOR FARp AND FIGHT FOR THE PLIGHT OF THE FAUX-ANIMAL!
http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c389/Smunkee/sheep.jpg
The Faux-Animal Rights Party (furthermore known as FARp) is campaigning to gain rights for the faux-animals of the world. Everyday in this country tofu-turkey and soy milk flow. What of the Soy Cows? They are not even free range or grain fed, they are kept inside factories daily, never exercised! The faux-chickens that go into making "meatless" chicken nuggets would be happy to live in a battery farm. This injustice must stop!
1. WE recognize that faux-animals being a little less than alive also have rights and should be protected under law from the VERY REAL THREAT of being eaten. WE shall outlaw the eating of faux-animals.
2. WE recognize that faux-animals are being used to produce products for the comfort and fashion of the masses. Long ago we needed pleather, but that was in the 80's, in this day and age organic cotton and other materials can be used for coverings. It is frivolous and cruel to wear faux-suede shoes or faux-leopard print hand bags. These injustices to the faux-animal community must be stopped!
3. WE recognize that faux-animals are being hunted for sport and entertainment. Until this stops the population of faux-animals is in rapid decline. Think about it, when have you last seen a soy-cow? This raping of an entire eco-system is not only harmful to the faux-animals but to their predators, their prey and YOU! Hunting of faux-animals must be outlawed!
4. There is no point 4.
5. WE recognize that faux-animals are being used in animal testing of medications and cosmetics. This is cruel and sadistic. Faux-animals are nearly sentient and should not be forced without consent to participate in such so-called "science". While we at FARp do not have any actual evidence this is going on, we are sure it is happening and will work to remedy this heinous practice.
6. WE recognize that faux animals are being exploited online. They should be protected from sexual predators and faux-animal traffickers. There are websites RIGHT NOW where you can buy an inflatable sheep. Faux-animal trafficking is a moral tragedy and should be illegal.
7. WE recognize that faux animals are being held against their will as "pets" for many people, even small children have teddy bears, and they treat them horrendously. Faux-animals should not be a substitute for the real quality time and discipline of a parent. Faux animals are being exploited by fairs and claw games, literally offered as prizes to random people who could be psychopaths or worse. The ownership of faux-animals is increasing daily. It shall be against the law.
8.WE recognize that faux-animals are working in sub-faux-animal conditions for little or no pay. They are the underclass in every single culture worldwide. We of western values should put a stop to the endless running of the theoretical hamster that powers the NSG forums (and many of your automobiles). FARp will fight for equal pay and unionized protections for the faux-animal workers.
9. WE recognize that faux-animals are being discriminated against. Many people believe they are "just not good enough" or "not real". Faux-animals live, work, and play in your own neighborhood and the world should recognize them as worthy of rights and privileges.
10. WE recognize that faux-animals are being misrepresented in the media and aren't being given fair and equal time on the air-waves. The general public's attitude about faux-animals is based on stereotypes and sick anthrophomorphizations. Did you know faux cats speak perfect English? This lolcat pidgin must stop!
VOTE FOR FARp AND FIGHT FOR THE PLIGHT OF THE FAUX-ANIMAL!
http://i31.photobucket.com/albums/c389/Smunkee/sheep.jpg