NationStates Jolt Archive

I work in a small office, only two of us in here most times, and I want to kill him.

Here's the indictments against him, in descending order of fucking pissing me off:

1) He sings. Fancies himself a karaoke star. What does he sing? This (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJDF9uyDWH4), over and over and over again. Kenny Chesney he's not. Kenny's at the very least pretty hot.
2) He gets in to work about 2 hours before I do, and god help me I don't know what he does. He makes coffee, horrible coffee. Spends most of his work day shuffling shit off on me or asking asinine questions, reading the paper or talking on his cell phone.
3) Constantly eating. Constantly, I understand as a diabetic regular eating is useful. It's just fucking irritating. Crunching, munching, making rather disturbing slurping noises. I'm afraid to look that direction.
4) He sleeps. Snores and wakes himself up. At first it was mildly amusing to see someone so abjectly lazy and inactive that he fell asleep, now it's just annoying.

At the very least his cell phone ring tone isn't singing anymore. So my fellow office dwellers on NSG, what do your co-workers do to make you consider using their head for a hat? How do you deal with these idiots?

There's nothing like meeting people who are "certified" (Microsoft, Java, or both) who can't program. That's about 90% of the people I meet on the job.

Make private phone calls all day long, spend the entire time swearing aggressively, and calling your own kids as the "...little fuckers need to go to the fucking doctor's office again".

Oh, and someone who uses a sort of mechanical device in the office near me...:shiftyeyes:

Whistling - why in God's name is whistling not a capital offence?

Things my coworkers do that piss me off:

"Borrow" something from my desk drawer and never return it unless I take it from them.

Try to talk to me when I am obviously working. I mean seriously, how hard is it? I'm sitting at a table, with my computer open to a spreadsheet, with a stack of papers in front of me, with a correction pen in hand, and I am reading and writing comments.... now is NOT the time for you to regale me with your tales of cable access stardom or what immensely stupid thing your rat-dog did. Ten thousand points less if I tell you, "I'm sorry, can't talk, I want to get these done," and you continue. Expect a nasty bitch-out if I get up and physically leave the room to get my work done after you've continued to chat about your extracurricular activities, and you come to where I've settled to continue your attempts at conversation. (I wish to God I were exaggerating -- but I had one coworker do this to me in June.)

Walk into my classroom unannounced and assume I have the time for a social call. Hello, there are 34 people in there who have no interest in or business knowing about What Kat Did Last Weekend.


I suggest, Khadgar, that a mercy killing may be your only hope. Put him and his crap coffee out of your misery.

I suggest, Khadgar, that a mercy killing may be your only hope. Put him and his crap coffee out of your misery.

He made an extra $12,000 last year in overtime. For reference I make $27,000 a year. For the life of me I can't figure out why he's still employed.

Perhaps you should ask, in earshot of whomever signs his check, "If you're being paid to do so much overtime, why am I doing so much of your work?"

I used to be the guy that drummed with his pen, I was pretty good if I might say so myself, others didn't appreciate my mad skillz.

being criminally sexy (i'm looking at you Khadgar).

i don't work in an office :(

breathing and arguing with me when i said that aid can't be transmitted by sliva condact only...

oh and really bad music taste, i'm talking about happy hard core which i could make my self, he claims every other music form tries is too complex to listen to and have with too many instruments going at once. (He even says this about pop!)

Khadgar, what was the song apparently that video is not available in my country, something which I am not happy about as it is happening a lot recently.

Those that don't listen to you when you tell them this needs to be done in a particular way and they go and do the opposite meaning that you need to go and do the work again.

Those that play music so loud through their headphones that you can hear it, that really pisses me off because it is usually some shitty music.

The list goes on I just can't think of them atm, but I know there are many more.

The song was "Shiftwork".

When I was a mechanic I had a couple of real winners for service writers.

A service writer is the guy or gal you deal with when you take your car into a dealership for service.

One of them was a guy who seemed to feel that his customers were more important than anyone else's. If I was working on a car that didn't belong to one of his, he would demand that I drop what I was doing and work on one of his tickets. It didn't matter what the urgency was on the car I was working on already. He wanted his stuff one *NOW* and to hell with anyone else. Once he was so impatient he came out looking for me in the shop to nag me about a car but I was in the mens' room taking a crap. he went in there and stood outside the stall demanding to know when the car would be done...

Another one was a guy who had no backbone when it came to customers and would often goodwill work.

What that means is this: When you take your car in for service at a typical dealership, the mechanic is paid for his work in the number of estimated man hours it takes to complete the job. For example, replacing an alternator might pay around 1.5 hours, with an additional hour or so of diagnostic time. On the other hand, if the work is under warranty from the manufacturer, then the rate the mechanic gets paid drops so that that 1.5 alternator job becomes a job that only pays .7 hours or so. Sometimes even less. And no diagnostic time.

(An extreme example is the front engine cover on earlier model Nissan Altimas. It tends to leak and the job pays 12 hours. Under warranty: 3.5 hours.)

A goodwill is when the dealership covers an item under warranty even when the vehicle has gone past the warranty period. This is meant to handle cases where a problem obviously existed when it was still under warranty but for whatever reason it wasn't discovered until later.

This particular service writer was known to goodwill work for cars that had exceeded their warranty period by as many as 10,000 miles. He just didn't have the guts to break bad news to people, which meant that even though I deserved the regular rate for my work, I had to take the much lower warranty rate so that he didn't have to break the news and by so doing, make himself look good but take money out of my pocket.

I worked with a guy who was a manager-wanabee. We were the same level, but ever time I did something, he adjusted it in some way. Everytime I went somewhere, he asked where I was going. He expected me to check in with him whenever I took my breaks. And worst of all, he kept on telling me to do things I already knew had to be done. "Remember to sign out the guests and make a note for the change over". "Yes, I know, I've done that every day for the last three months, I'm not going to foget it now" "Yes, but don't forget to pre-heat the ovens at half two" "Yes, I know, I've done that every day for three months too" and so on and so forth.

Eventually, I quit because of him.

Why not just tell him his job... "Remember to wash your hands thoroughly after using the restroom.... remember to punch in on time... remember to mind your own fucking business, I already have a boss...."