NationStates Jolt Archive

Imagine that one day, you hear a knock on your door and when you open it, an exact duplicate of you is standing there. He explains to you that he is a clone created from your DNA and he has escaped from the lab where he was created and has tracked you down. What do you do?

Use this clone of mine to attend events that I really don't want to go to. This way I can stay in bed and go to lectures!

turn down the lights, put on a a good CD and get down the business... oh as if you wouldn't be curious

Have sex with it.

Imagine that one day, you hear a knock on your door and when you open it, an exact duplicate of you is standing there. He explains to you that he is a clone created from your DNA and he has escaped from the lab where he was created and has tracked you down. What do you do?
Rejoice! I'd love him so much! Y'know, I always wanted an identical twin. :D

Ohhh, cool, help me grade these papers so we can hit the movies early?

Put a bullet right between his eyes.

I'd fuck him. Not really, a clone would be years younger than me, probably a lot of years younger. So I wouldn't have sex with him, until he was legal. Then I'd bone his ass off.

Have a long, drawn-out fight scene in which we each duplicate each other's moves. After several minutes, we find ourselves evenly matched, we roll around on the ground a lot until everyone loses track of who's who. We both stand up and wipe ourselves off, only to see my girlfriend pointing a gun at us!
She's moving the gun back and forth, pointing first at the clone, then at me, her hands shaky. "WHICH ONE OF YOU IS THE REAL BB?" she demands.
"I am!" we say simultaneously.
"WHICH ONE OF YOU IS THE CLONE?"
"He is!" we both reply.
There's a long pause. Then she begins to say: "In the towwwwwn where I was born, there lived a maaaaaaan, who sailed to seeeeeea..."
"...and he toooooold us of his life, in the laaaaaaand of submariiiiiines!" I answer readily, while my clone stands there looking confused and not speaking.
She shoots the non-Beatle-loving impostor dead, and then she and I walk away in the sunset.

Me: 1
Clone: 0

Perfect alibi creator !!

I'd plan my robbery of the vegas casino's /nod

Start drinking. Or stop drinking. Something to do with drinking anyway.

Umm invite him in, cut him open and take his spare
kidney!


Don't look at me like that, I need it.

I knew the answers would be fun and interesting and none of you disappoint.

As for me, I would automatically assume he was up to something. I know he'd be; he's me. If he's carrying tacos, a bucket of mud and/or the blueprints to the White House, I'll know we're on the same page. If he's carrying a sawed-off shotgun, a straitjacket or is wearing steel-toed boots, I will assume the worst and release the scrotum-seeking attack weasels. *nod*

I'd give him back to the lab, and accept a big tasty reward to go and buy some Rage Against the Machine CDs with.

Kaching!

Team up with my clone, then we can do stuffs.

I'd kill him, or at least have a good fight.

I'd give him back to the lab, and accept a big tasty reward to go and buy some Rage Against the Machine CDs with.

Kaching!


now that could go bad if the clone the same age as you

Start drinking. Or stop drinking. Something to do with drinking anyway.

Its been proven, drinking wine can stop you getting cancer -nods-.

I am saddened by everyone who want to kill their clones. :(

*commits suicide with clone*

I am saddened by everyone who want to kill their clones. :(

*commits suicide with clone*

Gah you just killed teh clone!

I would feel pity for the clone. Then kill it. Its kinder that way.

now that could go bad if the clone the same age as you

Oh shit, yeah. OK, I'd paint "CLONE" on his forehead, then I would prove that I wasn't the clone by asking him, in front of the wacko scientists, to recite my favourite Byzantine Greek word xD.

P.S. It's Καταφρακτοι.

Gah you just killed teh clone!
*two bloody Brutland and Nordens rise up* Yes?

We're twin zombies now. My clone has to get used to being killed repetitively with me.

P.S. It's Καταφρακτοι.

Now I'm all curious.

I would invite him in for a few games of Ghost Recon. While we were both up in my room, we both simultanously plot how to kill each other, glancing back and forth while playing to make sure he didn't try anything. Since guests always sit on the right side of the TV, I reach for my aluminum baseball bat, and he grabs my pocket knife. Jumping over the railing, I rush downstairs while my dog attacks him. I bash his brains out. The police come and send me to an insane asylum. I win.:wink:

I'd kill him, or at least have a good fight.

Now now perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything.

Now I'm all curious.

Think Byzantine Knights.

1. Take my clone to meet chicks
2. ?????
3. Profit! :)

Think Byzantine Knights.

w00t, bes NB knowsy of them Armenians!

Imagine that one day, you hear a knock on your door and when you open it, an exact duplicate of you is standing there. He explains to you that he is a clone created from your DNA and he has escaped from the lab where he was created and has tracked you down. What do you do?
Tell him to get his ass down to the office then and get to work, remember to bring a pizza home for dinner and to deposit the paycheck in my account while I fire up another round of Guitar Hero.

Sue the lab for identity theft

You stole my ass and made a mini... me!

Seriously, I wouldn't get along well with my clone. I'm not easy to get along with.

I'd run away in terror.

When I recovered, I'd come back and interrogate them about every detail of their personality because I'm too much of a scientist not to take such an easy opportunity to investigate how much of me came from "nature" and how much from "nurture." :tongue:

I'll agree to provide said clone with a way to stay hidden, yet to remain functional in society, by cooperating and working with me. Likely, I'd give him a crash-course training in my job, so that he ever should need to, he could fill in for me with some degree of competence. I would demand, though, that he pick up the slack and get some sort of menial job of his own to pay for his upkeep, perhaps at a FedEx warehouse or something.

I'd work out functional schedules with him, for when he could and should attend social events, what chores and responsibilities he might have, given that he is infringing upon my identity and personhood.

What else...hmmm...kill him if he violates the rules, of course. We can't have a version of me running amok, spoiling my name, can we now?

Imagine that one day, you hear a knock on your door and when you open it, an exact duplicate of you is standing there. He explains to you that he is a clone created from your DNA and he has escaped from the lab where he was created and has tracked you down. What do you do?

call up the lab and turn him back in as he was just created there in case i need to harvest his tissue

Now now perfectly symmetrical violence never solved anything.

well I just enjoy a good fight, and as my clone, he should too. its win-win

I'd pimp him out as a gigolo... or maybe we'd fight crime together. I dunno.

Imagine that one day, you hear a knock on your door and when you open it, an exact duplicate of you is standing there. He explains to you that he is a clone created from your DNA and he has escaped from the lab where he was created and has tracked you down. What do you do?

Welcome my brother. Check if we get along. If not, hey - too bad.

Hang on...I believe LG is trying to tell us something...

LG, have you secretly taken our cells and cloned an army of Generalites?

After hours of the best sex ever, we would become best friends, trade places, secretly take turns banging my/our girlfriends, only to try to betray eachother, both of us lusting after eachother's pristene set of replacement organs.

Hang on...I believe LG is trying to tell us something...

LG, have you secretly taken our cells and cloned an army of Generalites?
*Hacks into the Federal bank, gives it all to LG in the form of tacos, pies, and good mudland* Why would he need another army of us?:tongue:

*Hacks into the Federal bank, gives it all to LG in the form of tacos, pies, and good mudland* Why would he need another army of us?:tongue:

This is LG. It doesn't have to make sense. Just chaos.

This is LG. It doesn't have to make sense. Just chaos.
Like the way he sent those flying monkeys after your avatar?

Imagine that one day, you hear a knock on your door and when you open it, an exact duplicate of you is standing there. He explains to you that he is a clone created from your DNA and he has escaped from the lab where he was created and has tracked you down. What do you do?

I invite him in and give him food. And see if he has my cold sores.

I would wonder how one of my clones escaped my underground facility.

Like the way he sent those flying monkeys after your avatar?

Exactly! It didn't make any sense. He just did it.

I would wonder how one of my clones escaped my underground facility.
<.<

>.>

*Slinks away*
Exactly! It didn't make any sense. He just did it.
I make sense. I might not make much sense, but I do make sense. Like how I burned down my hometown yesterday. I was in a bad mood. They were out of vanilla ice cream. See? Sense. *Twitch, twitch*

I would wonder how one of my clones escaped my underground facility.

That was YOUR underground facility? My bad...

I'd send him to my job and contemplate his future while I take a vacation

Hmmm....simple.

I would have him go somewhere open where he can be loud, obnoxious, and noticable. While he is ingraining himself into the memories of everybody around him, I would go around commiting a string of murders. When the police asked me where I was at the time of the crime, I could reply with the location of my clone, and there would be dozens of witnesses saying I wasn't at the crime scene.

:D

I will make sure I am cloned before I die. I will post on NS-Jolt-Co-UK-Forums forever. I once posted that I would post from beyond the grave, that too.

Miami Shores

Accept proof of LG's sanitation, and return the clone to the collective. :p

Have a soggy biscuit race.
"Damn, another tie!"

Do all sorts of fun japes like seat myself down in a very public, very crowded place - better yet, a police station - while my clone goes off on a jolly little murder spree and other such good-natured pranks. The ultimate alibi!
Then we'd swap over, taking turns. until one of us decides to shop the other...ohhh...best stick to soggy biscuit races then.

You stole my ass and made a mini... me!

Seriously, I wouldn't get along well with my clone. I'm not easy to get along with.

Little Jack was cute!

I'd find some sort of facility in which I could put him on ice and harvest his organs. That way, I can live twice as long!

Hang on...I believe LG is trying to tell us something...

LG, have you secretly taken our cells and cloned an army of Generalites?

<.<

>.>


I don't believe that's against the forum rules.

<.<

>.>


I don't believe that's against the forum rules.


I can confirm this. :tongue:

You would say that, you're LG's Euroslavia-clone!

You would say that, you're LG's Euroslavia-clone!

*looks for the mark* So? You're my Ifreann clone. :)

Hang on...I believe LG is trying to tell us something...

LG, have you secretly taken our cells and cloned an army of Generalites?

why... have you been giving... er... 'Genetic samples' to LG? :p

what would I do if my clone came to me?

well, it depends. after all, do the cloners want the clone back?

if not, I'd get to know him... me... better. after all, it's not just genetics that make us who we are, but our life experiences. he might be a better looking me, or a worse looking me.

after that... we'll see... but oh... the possibilities.

if the cloners want him back... I'll give him a couple thousand bucks and wish him luck. after all, if the cloners got my genetic sample, they know where to find me, thus sending him away would be the best thing for him.

Get it to do some science A-levels and then a degree in Biochemistry, so I (I think 'I' is more appropriate than 'we' in this context) can use my incredible knowledge and wisdom in both the sciences and humanities to rule the world.

Then I can go and fight the Polish President and his brother who used to be PM, because fights between two identical looking people would make awesome TV, and hence excellent money. Both of our evil brotherhoods would then become super wealthy, which would be to our collective benefits. I don't actually like them much, but money is money.

discover a whole new world of practical jokes (I couldn't have superglued all of your glasses upside down...I was in here) Once my friends caught on, creep out people on the subway and at bars.

And yeah, probably have sex with myself.

. . .I'm not important enough to clone :(

. . .I'm not important enough to clone :(

actally, that's the type they want to clone. someone whom people won't notice 2 or 3... hundred of running around. :eek:

Imagine that one day, you hear a knock on your door and when you open it, an exact duplicate of you is standing there. He explains to you that he is a clone created from your DNA and he has escaped from the lab where he was created and has tracked you down. What do you do?

Question him so I know what the hell is going on. Then probably I'd free the entire facility then crate a clone army of mes to attack my large horde of enemies. MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

actally, that's the type they want to clone. someone whom people won't notice 2 or 3... hundred of running around. :eek:

You think 2 or 3 hundred of me could go unnoticed? Because if we could, I might be able to put into effect some of my more complex plans.

You think 2 or 3 hundred of me could go unnoticed? Because if we could, I might be able to put into effect some of my more complex plans.
Well if they weren't all within about 20 miles of each other, people wouldn't really notice. And if they were all in the exact same place, people would be so confused that you could get away with almost anything :D

You think 2 or 3 hundred of me could go unnoticed? Because if we could, I might be able to put into effect some of my more complex plans.

too bad it can be stopped by a large mudhole. :p


... damn this dry season! :headbang:

Deny that I truly sound like that.

You think 2 or 3 hundred of me could go unnoticed? Because if we could, I might be able to put into effect some of my more complex plans.

when tacos and pies start to mysteriously disappear, your plan will become exposed

Would he have my brain patterns too? That would be great - we'd have teamwork with almost no disagreement.

. . .I'm not important enough to clone :(

And with that attitude, you never will be. :p Loser.



I'm so mean. Don't listen to me.

(I'd) interrogate them about every detail of their personality because I'm too much of a scientist not to take such an easy opportunity to investigate how much of me came from "nature" and how much from "nurture." :tongue:
Yeah, that would be interesting.

Other than that, I'd love to be able to say for sure that I'd treat them as more than just a full set of replacement parts for the bits of me that have gone wrong in the past, but I'm not sure that would be true :(

For some countries, it's frowned upon.
For some, it's a scientific breakthrough.
For others, it's already happened.

well I suppose I'd find another job and sort out all the identity papers

but seriously as any magnet will tell you, if two of the same whatever meet they will repel one another

lusting after eachother's pristene set of replacement organs.

don't lie :tongue:

id do what anyone does when an unknown sibling comes to the door.

ask her in, offer her coffee, talk about our respective lives, borrow money from her that i never intend to pay back.

id do what anyone does when an unknown sibling comes to the door.

ask her in, offer her coffee, talk about our respective lives, borrow money from her that i never intend to pay back.

You've done this before, haven't you?

I would use him to mindfuck people IRL.

People let me tell you 'bout my best friend...

*high-fives clone*

Imagine that one day, you hear a knock on your door and when you open it, an exact duplicate of you is standing there. He explains to you that he is a clone created from your DNA and he has escaped from the lab where he was created and has tracked you down. What do you do?

Make him go to work for me while I relax and spend all his money.

Okay, change in scenario. What if you open the door and an identical duplicate of you is standing there and he says he escaped from a laboratory and that YOU are the clone!

Kill him and steal his life.

Okay, change in scenario. What if you open the door and an identical duplicate of you is standing there and he says he escaped from a laboratory and that YOU are the clone!

Immediately hug him and say that he's my long lost twin brother who was kidnapped and taken from our family when we were 3 yrs old and that the kidnappers need to be arrested and brought to justice.


either that or say that unless he has the reciept (wave my reciept for one clone) it would be rather hard to prove. and yes, I do have one reciept for a clone that I made while testing a new register at my old job.

Imagine that one day, you hear a knock on your door and when you open it, an exact duplicate of you is standing there. He explains to you that he is a clone created from your DNA and he has escaped from the lab where he was created and has tracked you down. What do you do?

isn't it obvious? he's my genetic slave, so the fucker can go out to work while i stay home with my girlfriend and her 10 twin clones ;)

You've done this before, haven't you?
she doesnt talk to me any more but my mom just LOVES her.

dammit

"And you thought you would be the first. That's cute. Now get inside and join the rest of us."

Imagine that one day, you hear a knock on your door and when you open it, an exact duplicate of you is standing there. He explains to you that he is a clone created from your DNA and he has escaped from the lab where he was created and has tracked you down. What do you do?

Drinking contest.

Drinking contest.

i bet i could drink me under the table

Can you say "World's craziest porno?"

Oh my Yes.

Okay, change in scenario. What if you open the door and an identical duplicate of you is standing there and he says he escaped from a laboratory and that YOU are the clone!

Ask him "If I'm the clone, why were you in the lab?". Then, before he could answer, tackle him into a bush/mud pit. Then, drink.

Okay, change in scenario. What if you open the door and an identical duplicate of you is standing there and he says he escaped from a laboratory and that YOU are the clone!

I tell him that the original always has more defects. Then I kill him using my superior, perfect me genes.:D

I'd stand there a little confused first but then the phone would ring and I'd go pick it up to hear LG saying...

"Execute order 66"

We would then go and pie all the Jedis.

So...people generally will either have sex with their clone or kill their clone.

Nice to know humans are that predicable.

As for me...I dunno. I can't imagine too much I'd do with a clone of myself. I'm not gay, so sex is out, and I have enough conversations with myself as it is...so...I guess...do what Poli would do?

Imagine that one day, you hear a knock on your door and when you open it, an exact duplicate of you is standing there. He explains to you that he is a clone created from your DNA and he has escaped from the lab where he was created and has tracked you down. What do you do?

Cloning me out of all the people in the world would be the surest proof that there's a secret government lab that's wasting trillions of dollars that could be used to fix the nation's economy and budget.

Scientists, soldiers, even celebrities I understand. Clone me? My God, not even the CPA blew that much money on pointless shit.

So...people generally will either have sex with their clone or kill their clone.

I'd do both...it'd make for a good snuff film. :tongue: