NationStates Jolt Archive

Today I was booked to fly back to Spain. My flight was supposed to leave at 8 hours. It was a non-stop flight from San Juan Int'l to Barajas Int'l. 7 hours at most in the air, perhaps 6:30. But I was unable to walk down the terminal and board the plane. I was petrified. The reasons for this, I'm not going to discuss. Suffice it to say I was completely unable to function.

I felt nauseous, I felt like my feet were made of lead, like I was carrying the entire world as I walked. To put it simply, I just couldn't bring myself to sit on my seat and spend the next hours dreading arriving home. I left the airport and called the airline to re-book for Saturday.

But this experience made me think about what fear does to a person, what are it's effects on the body on a physical and emotional level and what can be done to prevent it (impossible) or calm it. So, I turn to NSG (of course) to find some sort of center in myself.

First: there needs to be an understanding of what fear is: according to Wiki (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear), fear "is an emotional response to threats and danger."

After that, there needs to be a clear distinction between fear and anxiety. After these have been clearly (or not so clearly) established, then we need to search for causes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear#Causes) and way to calm it.

To not make this sound bloggy, I want to ask the Generalites: in instances of fear: what triggers it (if you can discuss it) for you?, what do you do to ease it?, what can you recommend to fight it? Comment all around.

When I experience it, I will advise you.

I'm very sorry this happened to you, and hope that whatever frightened you has been resolved.

For me, fear has two triggers -- physical danger to myself, or physical danger to those I love. In the latter case, though, I tend towards "fight" rather than "flight".

Spiders. If I see a little, or big spider, I panic. I run, I scream, I hide, and I blubber.

Spiders. If I see a little, or big spider, I panic. I run, I scream, I hide, and I blubber.

Yep yep, I'm with you.

When I experience it, I will advise you.

I'm sure you will.:rolleyes: Although I seriously doubt you lack fear, or a sense of humor, but I'll nod my head in agreement with you for the time being.;)

I'm very sorry this happened to you, and hope that whatever frightened you has been resolved.

Thanks Kat. The problem is that for the fear to be resolved I need to go to Spain.

For me, fear has two triggers -- physical danger to myself, or physical danger to those I love. In the latter case, though, I tend towards "fight" rather than "flight".

I know what you mean. If those I love are threatened I too will fight instead of running away, even if I'm terrified. I'm terribly ashamed of my behaviour. I guess everything will lapse back to normality in no time.

You can do it Nanatsu!

Don't believe in yourself.

Believe in me, who believes in you!

Believe in you, who believes in me!

Believe in you, who believes in yourself!


This moment brought to you by Gurren Lagann.


Seriously, though, everyone at the SSA is right behind you!

Usually, when I'm afraid, I can just think of the worst case scenario and realize that it's really not so bad.

Of course, in cases where the worst case scenario really is bad, I have no coping mechanism. This is why I was afraid to drive for years, and didn't get my license until 21.

My fear response kicks in the same way as Kat's. Most recent example was finding out that my dad was in a motorcycle accident and grandpa had a stroke. It's around then that I get the tight stomach and mind starts to race.

When ever i'm afraid of anything, mainly something totally new with new people, such as giving an important presentation to people i don't know, i always get a sick feeling in my stomach and start shivering (even if its really warm). What i then tend to to is turn totally rational and look at everything without emotion, and that tends to get me started on whatever it is i'm doing, then i'm fine.

I do remember one instant of paralyzing fear. I was trying to commit suicide by drowning myself in a lake/river covered with thin ice. I know it sounds pathetic, but it was a long time ago and I was drunk. :$ I couldn't say how to overcome such fear, but I think that the only way one can overcome an emotion is with another emotion.

I have the good fortune to not encounter things that are fear inducing very often. :)

You may want to consider having someone escort you on and comfort you. The sound of a gentle reassuring voice may help you. As for the flight. If you wish to make it tolerable, I recommend sleeping pills. It will allow you to at least relax on the plane. Taking it before hand is ill-advised.

As for the fear itself, I can't recommend anything. Just a simple way of getting the task done.

To not make this sound bloggy, I want to ask the Generalites: in instances of fear: what triggers it (if you can discuss it) for you?, what do you do to ease it?, what can you recommend to fight it? Comment all around.

Trigger: occasional train of thought that leads my mind to deep contemplation of the inevitable and inescapable oblivion of my conscious self
Response: Angrily waving fist at uncaring universe and saying "fuck!" several times - this tends to distract me from the matter at hand.

The closest analogue I have to your situation is when I did a bungee jump. Jumping off a plank down a 150ft ravine is quite a challenge - the way I did it was to outsmart my brain. While it's busy screaming "what the FUCK are you doing" I jumped off! I put myself in a position which meant it was too late to do anything. Just get there by lots of tiny seemingly inconsequential steps.

Try and cheat - just say 'I'm only getting on a plane, not flying' (if flying is the issue, but you get my drift) and then you're in the air and you can't do anything about it apart from cope.

The other thing to try and do, which sounds easy but is incredibly hard without practice, is to try and clear your mind. Practice meditative style exercises like Zen, where you concentrate solely on your breathing to the point where the only thing in your mind is the breathing - have a look here (http://www.mkzc.org/beginzen.html)(don't worry about posture too much, it's the method part).

Once you get into the relaxed state a few times, it's easier to recall and get back into, and could help if you panic.

Om!;)

I felt nauseous, I felt like my feet were made of lead, like I was carrying the entire world as I walked. To put it simply, I just couldn't bring myself to sit on my seat and spend the next hours dreading arriving home. I left the airport and called the airline to re-book for Saturday.


Whenever I've been in a situation like that, I've forced my way through it. I simply won't let myself be ruled by it, no matter how much I hate it.

On the other hand, if it's my kids that I'm afraid for - I'll do whatever it takes... fight, or flight... to try to make them safe.

When you do go to Spain will you still be logging into your nations? Would like to RP with you towards the middle or end of August-08.

If not will try to wait. Have a great trip in España, La Madre Patria.

Miami Shores.

I have the good fortune to not encounter things that are fear inducing very often. :)

It is indeed difficult to arrive in Mulhuddart by mistake.

Nanatsu, I hope that it is not a fear for your safety(physical, mental etc) back in Spain. But if the issue is what I have understood it to be, you will not be able to resolve it unless you do go back to Spain and face your demons. Good Luck Nanatsu, I'm sure you will be able to overcome anything you have to.



I tend towards "fight" rather than "flight".
In this case it is actually 'flight' or 'flight'

I am petrified of the ocean. It scares me shitless, to be totally honest. But last summer, I went down to the beach for the single purpose of overcoming that fear.
Standing on the wet sand before the water, I took a deep breath and told myself what fear is-
False
Emotions
Appearing
Real
I got up to my waist before I was like "Ok, I've done it, screw you murky green abyss, AH!" and headed (sort of ran, actually) back in.

I have faith that you can do it :D

Whenever I've been overwhelmed with fear I pray. That washes it away rather nicely.

Sounds like you were having a panic atack. Those aren't fun. I used to have them frequently when I was under stress. I still have panic attacks if I fly commercially (nevermind that I fly for fun with no problem). I just make sure my perscription for Xanax is filled every time I fly.

I'm not clear -- is it the flight itself? You didn't seem to be fearful on the way to Puerto Rico (unless I missed you telling us about a horrid flight experience?). Is it something you need to face back home?

If it's fear of flying, see if you can get to a doctor in PR. Explain the situation and he or she might give you a one-dose prescription for tranquilizers to get home.

I'm afraid of snails. Logically, I know that that's ludricious. I mean, what are they going to do? Chase me down? Nevertheless, if I see one I recoil terror.

What do I do? Avoid snail related scenarios. Sorry, not much help.

I find when I get anxious it helps to narrate in my head each step of what I'm doing, being careful to refer to myself continually in the third person. Because then I can sort of fool myself into thinking someone else is doing it, while I'm just watching.

You could always change your ticket and go see Rhyno.XD

Fear, for me, is when I know that there will be harsh consequences for something I've done and when I have to face them.

I'm not clear -- is it the flight itself? You didn't seem to be fearful on the way to Puerto Rico (unless I missed you telling us about a horrid flight experience?). Is it something you need to face back home?

If it's fear of flying, see if you can get to a doctor in PR. Explain the situation and he or she might give you a one-dose prescription for tranquilizers to get home.

Oh, no, it's not the flight that sacres me. The problem is that I have to face something ugly when I get back home. I'm going back to an empty house and to friends that knew me when I "was" happy. It's the ghosts of my past relationship. That's what scares me.

But I'll pull through, you can be sure of that. In any case, thanks for the pointers and for sharing, NSG.;)

You could always change your ticket and go see Rhyno.XD

Snaf, sweetie, now that, is even scarier.:D

Snaf, sweetie, now that, is even scarier.:D

What? I'll have cheesecake. In a tub.


You should come, too, Snaf.

I am petrified of the ocean. It scares me shitless, to be totally honest. But last summer, I went down to the beach for the single purpose of overcoming that fear.
Standing on the wet sand before the water, I took a deep breath and told myself what fear is-
False
Emotions
Appearing
Real
I got up to my waist before I was like "Ok, I've done it, screw you murky green abyss, AH!" and headed (sort of ran, actually) back in.

I have faith that you can do it :D

This is an excellent explanation.

Nanatsu, sweetness, I am deathly afraid of heights and high places. So much so that I can get vertigo and a pit-of-stomach poke from a well--rendered movie or video-game scene of dizzying height or precarious places. I get the same way even if other people are near precipices -- I can see them falling in my imagination against my will, just like I can "feel" the tendrils of gravity pulling at me when I'm up high and exposed.

Two summers ago, I hiked with my GF to the saddle just before the summit of Mt. Quandary in the Tenmile Range of the Rocky Mountains. This is one of Colorado's "fourteeners" -- a peak higher than 14,000 feet. It was windy, I'm already top-heavy without a backpack, and the saddle ridge suddenly seemed five feet wide, when it was actually about twenty. I was only 750 feet from a major hiking accomplishment, but I was paralyzed with fear. I did not go to the top, and I regretted it.

This summer, I hiked to the top of Mt. Bierstadt and Mt. Yale, two other fourteeners. I was at a similar point on Bierstadt when I saw my GF making her way up the snow-packed final boulder slope. I froze again, but I broke myself free with the sheer force of will combined with not wanting to be a slave to my fear anymore. I countered it with jokes about extreme psychological prescriptions for countering acrophobia when I'd ask descenders how close I was. Finally, with my breathing rate very high (I'd only been there a week and wasn't yet fully acclimated to altitude) from hypoxia and panic, the last descender I asked said "dude, you're right there", and lo and behold, I was. I dug my poles in and crouch-walked the rest of the way to the summit. I saw the NGS survey marker, in all of its metallic bolted glory, marking the very top and I stabbed it with my left hiking pole in sheer release of built-up adrenaline.

Then my body betrayed any chance of my success being manly -- after I experience surges of adrenaline, if there's any left over, and no way to release it (especially if I'm tired), my mind channels it into open and vocal weeping. I'd still made it, though. I just sat down and was rooted to the spot, still freaking out whenever other summiters came up and sat down. It was all I could do to stand up for the picture I have of me there (link (http://i215.photobucket.com/albums/cc76/Infradog/AtopMtBierstadt.jpg)). I was even worried about the dogs some owners have clearly trained to hike with them. I was picturing them falling to their deaths, even hearing the whimper as they fell, just like I picture people -- against my will and without my trying.

Packed snow is easier to ascend than descend, for control reasons on steep slopes near cornices. As a result, I had to take the more exposed boulder scramble down. It was a less steep angle though, and I was actually confident and not too scared on the descent from the summit. However, I was using "five points of contact" ("three points" is feet and one hand -- "five" is hands, feet and ass...heh).

I mention all this, Nanatsu because to me, fear isn't always conquered. Sometimes, if it's as severe as mine is for heights, it's just...coped with. I will have the same fight (as I did on Mt. Yale a week later) every time I try for a summit, but bagging two has made the effort marginally easier. It's my hope that the margin will widen with time and experience.

Well, hang in there... and hopefully you've some friends who will help you get through this without judging you or comparing you to before.

Snaf, sweetie, now that, is even scarier.:D
He's had his vaccinations. I think.:D
What? I'll have cheesecake. In a tub.


You should come, too, Snaf.

For cheesecake? In a tub? With Rhyno? Hells yeah!

Today I was booked to fly back to Spain. My flight was supposed to leave at 8 hours. It was a non-stop flight from San Juan Int'l to Barajas Int'l. 7 hours at most in the air, perhaps 6:30. But I was unable to walk down the terminal and board the plane. I was petrified. The reasons for this, I'm not going to discuss. Suffice it to say I was completely unable to function.

I felt nauseous, I felt like my feet were made of lead, like I was carrying the entire world as I walked. To put it simply, I just couldn't bring myself to sit on my seat and spend the next hours dreading arriving home. I left the airport and called the airline to re-book for Saturday.

But this experience made me think about what fear does to a person, what are it's effects on the body on a physical and emotional level and what can be done to prevent it (impossible) or calm it. So, I turn to NSG (of course) to find some sort of center in myself.

First: there needs to be an understanding of what fear is: according to Wiki (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear), fear "is an emotional response to threats and danger."

After that, there needs to be a clear distinction between fear and anxiety. After these have been clearly (or not so clearly) established, then we need to search for causes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fear#Causes) and way to calm it.

To not make this sound bloggy, I want to ask the Generalites: in instances of fear: what triggers it (if you can discuss it) for you?, what do you do to ease it?, what can you recommend to fight it? Comment all around.


I do hope you're alright. To answer your question, what sets off the fear response in me is anything that reminds me of a series of childhood traumas that I won't go into.

Just stay in Puerto Rico.

*nods*

Oh, no, it's not the flight that sacres me. The problem is that I have to face something ugly when I get back home. I'm going back to an empty house and to friends that knew me when I "was" happy. It's the ghosts of my past relationship. That's what scares me.

Hey! I know that feeling!

One dread (that's a good word for the emotion, I feel) that I experience is the process of going to buy milk at the corner store. I have no idea why.

Some weird, inexplicable phobia, I suppose.

Hey! I know that feeling!

One dread (that's a good word for the emotion, I feel) that I experience is the process of going to buy milk at the corner store. I have no idea why.

Some weird, inexplicable phobia, I suppose.

Shop by net. ;)

Google Peapod or FreshDirect -- I am sure there are other shopping services you could use.

Shop by net. ;)

Google Peapod or FreshDirect -- I am sure there are other shopping services you could use.

Mail-order milk? That's sick (in the not-at-all good way). :tongue:
I just buy it at the grocery store.

But as none of you know me in real life it's fine with me,

some short back story,
about four years ago I was diagnosed as a diabetic, ( it nearly killed me )
and be miracle no one in my family spotted it. My Mom is a nurse, our family
is full of diabetics...
So anyway,
I've had to monitor things more closely even though I spend my days ignoring
medical problems which make my life more interesting than I'd like.

I used to work at a Camp ( several as it's seasonal work ) and there was a girl
there I'd know for some time as we'd both been there and been friends.
One day I figured that I would ask her out, it wasn't easy as we were on six hour difference of schedules I was a cook. I went out on break to ask her if
she'd date me, but as I got to the field infront of the dinning hall my limbs
went " odd" normally I'm better communicating...
I saw her, she was gorgeous, kind and an amazing teacher. She could also
play guitar.
When I got within thirty feet of her my arms shook uncontrollably, which she didn't see. I could feel my blood sugar plummeting, and it became very difficult to walk or hold my arms still. She was working on something,
I got as far as a Doug Fir tree when my legs shook so hard that I collapsed
and that's when the fear really hit me. It was worse than the thought of her
telling me flat out " No " or even laughing at me, It was the thought that
here in broad daylight in front of God and everyone They'd all see what I had
kept out of that part of my life. That I was not only Not invincible, but very
fragile in reality. So I sat under that tree for half an hour pretending to write.
When I couldn't keep the pen steady enough to write.

I was horrified. But it passed
Unfortunately I had two more unsuccessful attempts to ask her out.
And when I did she stone walled me ( wouldn't talk to me any longer )
To make matters worse I left my job there because I couldn't deal with
seeing her, and have her not talk to me anymore.
I later learned that she stopped working there about the same time, it's
always been my guess that she didn't want to see me there either.
Actually I've had really rotten luck with that place and dating!
So I don't know if it helps you or anyone else.
It's kind of tragic, I had worked my ass off to get a job there. And in
the end it might have ruined several friend ships as a result.

Oh well That's what Russian fairy tales remind us,
Life sucks, keep your head down and you'll lead a long hard life...
But if you look up at what other people have and say " I want that!"
You'll be hounded by bad luck and woe will sleep on your door.

i haven't experienced fear that much except if i play survival horror games

Spiders. If I see a little, or big spider, I panic. I run, I scream, I hide, and I blubber.

Agreed. With the exception of spiders, I have no irrational fears. The only spiders I will allow to live are the one with the long front legs, that jump, and then only because I know they eat other spiders.

Just stay in Puerto Rico.

*nods*

Too late for that, though Snaf. I'm back in Spain, fetched by force and duty, lol, but back. I guess it'll be ok in time.

Thank you all for sharing your fear experiences. ;)

What? I'll have cheesecake. In a tub.


You should come, too, Snaf.

Oh, so you will keep the promise of a tub o' cheesecake then? I'll think about it. :cool:

Mail-order milk? That's sick (in the not-at-all good way). :tongue:
I just buy it at the grocery store.

Not mail-order. A refrigerated truck drives up to your door with boxes of food.
I live in a second floor walkup, so it's often a timesaver and convenience for me to order my groceries and have them delivered right to my kitchen the next day.

(I tip the driver, of course!)

Not mail-order. A refrigerated truck drives up to your door with boxes of food.
I live in a second floor walkup, so it's often a timesaver and convenience for me to order my groceries and have them delivered right to my kitchen the next day.

(I tip the driver, of course!)

Schwanns?

A bottle of tequila can solve the problem quickly... plus flying drunk is very fun

Once you are in Spain you can look for therapy. There are psychologist who specialize in treating phobias.

Depends entirely on the fear and how intense the feeling is. Situational fear, such as the fear of trying something potentially dangerous/painful or drastic, negative changes in my life I generally get through by assuring myself it's "just another one of life's experiences".

Anxious fear, such as flying, heights, and failure in stressful situations (including insomnia) I get through with meditation. Proper breathing can do shit loads of good to calm yourself down.

Hypochondriac fear and fear of possible future occurances I try to ignore the best I can. If it's not something I can control, there's little use fearing it.

As for spiders... I love spiders, I find them fascinating and can't get enough of them. My room is filled with them, however, if, out of the corner of my eye I see something crawling, even I get an involuntary, anxious flutter. It's a purely survival based instinct that's really hard to control or shut off.

Too late for that, though Snaf. I'm back in Spain, fetched by force and duty, lol, but back. I guess it'll be ok in time.

Thank you all for sharing your fear experiences. ;)

Good to hear you got back ok, mi amiga.:fluffle:

Good to hear you got back ok, mi amiga.:fluffle:

Gracias mil, guapo.:)

I usually run screaming whenever I see a bee or anything that looks like one.

Normally I freeze and get very dizzy and possibly start hyperventilating during a storm. I have a storm phobia so it happens regularly.

I'm not afraid of much except large spiders (like, banana spiders of bigger) and storms.

Gracias mil, guapo.:)


De nada, bonita.

Normally I freeze and get very dizzy and possibly start hyperventilating during a storm. I have a storm phobia so it happens regularly.

I'm not afraid of much except large spiders (like, banana spiders of bigger) and storms.


Welcome back, Pancake!