NationStates Jolt Archive

I'm taking applications. There are two spots open. Gender irrelevant. You've got exactly 10 lines to make your case, and I will choose the two successful candidates by 11pm (MST) tonight.

Edit: you must be over 21 years of age, or make a truly fantastic application for me to even consider you under that age.

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=475636&highlight=nationdates

God, it's back.

Does one have to live anywhere near you?

In b4 Conserative Morality applies.

What's your age, gender, and profession? Got any pics? What are your kinks, if any? What kind of lover are you?

And here I was, afraid this would be a spice-girls related thread.

Instead it's much, much worse.

*puts head in hands waiting for posts like "I am teh sEcks!!1!"*

What's your age, gender, and profession? Got any pics? What are your kinks, if any? What kind of lover are you?

I'm not the one being interviewed here.

Also, the Conserative Morality (misspelled for authenticity) comment causes me to say that under no circumstances would I ever consider anyone under 18. Ever. Only Kiryu has convinced me that someone under 21 might be a possibility, but he's still legal.

And here I was, afraid this would be a spice-girls related thread.

Instead it's much, much worse.

*puts head in hands waiting for posts like "I am teh sEcks!!1!"*

That's exactly what I feared too... :eek:

I'm not the one being interviewed here.

No, but you are offering a position without describing what said position entails. I asked what this job entails.

In b4 Conserative Morality applies.

*Sob* How dare you accuse me of that?

...

Well, I AM open tonight...Kidding of course :tongue:

Also, the Conserative Morality (misspelled for authenticity) comment causes me to say that under no circumstances would I ever consider anyone under 18. Ever. Only Kiryu has convinced me that someone under 21 might be a possibility, but he's still legal.

Pfft, what's the point in getting casual sex from the internets if you're not going to risk the other person being a 14 year old boy?

No, but you are offering a position without describing what said position entails. I asked what this job entails.

Fair enough.

I'm 30, aboriginal, female, working on my second degree (in law, last degree was in Education), resident of Canada, hardcore masochist, budding sadist, very left wing, very independent, I sing, I play guitar and other instruments, and I'm very outdoorsy.

The job entails satisfying me.

Pfft, what's the point in getting casual sex from the internets if you're not going to risk the other person being a 14 year old boy?

Risk?
.

Pfft, what's the point in getting casual sex from the internets if you're not going to risk the other person being a 14 year old boy?

Or a deranged old pervert looking for a 14 year old boy!

(I think they make up 90% of the internet according to government warnings)

Pfft, what's the point in getting casual sex from the internets if you're not going to risk the other person being a 14 year old boy?

Even freaks need standards.

Risk?

Well it's that or Chris Hansen.

1. I'm awesome.
2. No really, I'm awesome.
3. I'm the God of Spam.
4. Amazing orgasms.
5. You just lost the game.
6. RhynoD!
7. ?????
8. PROFIT!
9. I'm good with my hands.
10. Reeded instrument players make the best kissers.

Edit: 11. Let's do the time-warp again. Kinky.

Fair enough.

I'm 30, aboriginal, female, working on my second degree (in law, last degree was in Education), resident of Canada, hardcore masochist, budding sadist, very left wing, very independent, I sing, I play guitar and other instruments, and I'm very outdoorsy.

Dang, my sex preferences lean towards men. Everything else sounds delectable.

The job entails satisfying me.

Hahaha. I know. That's why the kinks were mentioned. Also, I doubt gay men or straight women would satisfy you in bed.

Pfft, what's the point in getting casual sex from the internets if you're not going to risk the other person being a 14 year old boy?

I thought the risk was finding your young hottie was really an obese middle age man with poor hygiene.

1. I'm awesome.
2. No really, I'm awesome.
3. I'm the God of Spam.
4. Amazing orgasms.
5. You just lost the game.
6. RhynoD!
7. ?????
8. PROFIT!
9. I'm good with my hands.
10. Reeded instrument players make the best kissers.

Anon, in MY NSG?

Anon, in MY NSG?

Your NSG?
And I'm not Anon. I just know several.

Anon, in MY NSG?

It's more likely than you think.

1. I'm awesome.

10. Reeded instrument players make the best kissers.



Really? Do you clamp your mouth tightly over the other person, blow, and play a tune by covering alternate nostrils with your fingers? Far out.

I wasn't aware Nation States was an online dating service:confused:.

under no circumstances would I ever consider anyone under 18. Ever. Only Kiryu has convinced me that someone under 21 might be a possibility, but he's still legal.

oooh thats me erm...(I now have something to regret doing in the morning hurrah)

my application:

The plan is it would be kind of groovy to visit Canada whilst work is expecting me to take time off and I seem to remember you saying your a school teacher which is one of the careers I'm currently looking up (doing an apprenticeship in childcare which means I work in a nursery) so it would be awesome to hang out and bitch about peoples children.

I'm a rough and tumble outdoors kind of guy (I currently work part-time in what is practically camping and drinking) which means if chosen you will have to show me the Canadian outdoors so you can see me scream like a little girl from your crazy Canada moths. I figure at my tender age of 18 you will think "omg cooties" but I can assure you I am not going to try and act boringly mature

The End

1. I'm banking on no one else applying after this.
2. You're stuck with me.
Lines 3-10. General manic laughter.

I wasn't aware Nation States was an online dating service:confused:.

Your ignorance has come to an end.

...are you sure that looking for a lvoer is a good idea when you're already engaged to someone?

Really? Do you clamp your mouth tightly over the other person, blow, and play a tune by covering alternate nostrils with your fingers? Far out.

No, but I'm used to delicately manipulating at least a half-inch of mouthpiece and reed.

My name is Eric and I live in Bolingbrook, IL. I not particularly blessed in the pantsal region but I'm an excellent xylophone player, if you know what I'm saying.

It's okay with me if you waste your time and money on school. I doesn't even bother me that you're Indian (buh buh kind, not dothead kind), so long as you're hot.

I'm kind of fat and really bald, but it's okay because I'm rich.

I've got no children that I know of (heh, heh).

I play video games a lot so I'm very coordinated and I'm very respected on internet forums.

If you like masochism, I'm kind of violent, so that fits nicely. I'm trained well, so you needn't worry about injuries from our sexplay unless you talk back.

I don't live with my mother anymore. In fact, we aren't even speaking. I have a good job where I get the respect I deserve, can wear the large-brimmed hats I love, and meet all kinds of people, even the occasional congressmen.

Let me know if you're interested.

...are you sure that looking for a lvoer is a good idea when you're already engaged to someone?

It's why I've only got two spots open. Normally I'd be interviewing for five.

My name is Eric and *snip*

;)

Shut up. You had me at 'Eric'.

No, but I'm used to delicately manipulating at least a half-inch of mouthpiece and reed.

Are we talking double-reed action here? Shaved reed?

What am I even talking about? Christ, I should go to bed :rolleyes:

I'm taking applications. There are two spots open. Gender irrelevant. You've got exactly 10 lines to make your case, and I will choose the two successful candidates by 11pm (MST) tonight.

Edit: you must be over 21 years of age, or make a truly fantastic application for me to even consider you under that age.

I have nothing going for me.
I am small, weak, and have no self-esteem.
I couldn't be sexy on my best day.
I don't even have a large penis.
I am, however, extremely feminist.
And you may dominate me.
But I'll fight back if it goes to far.

There's my app. (I'm just doing this for the hell of it)

;)

Shut up. You had me at 'Eric'.

Only one position left, boys and girls.

Only one position left, boys and girls.

That's unfair.

How the hell are the rest of us supposed to compete when you have a name like Eric?

I am small, weak, and have no self-esteem.

how good are you as a chimney sweep?

Are we talking double-reed action here? Shaved reed?

What am I even talking about? Christ, I should go to bed :rolleyes:

Saxophone. The sexiest instrument ever made.

My last name is Ravna, and I'm a viking.
HURR!

Saxophone. The sexiest instrument ever made.

It sounds good, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to hump one.

Although if one bought me dinner, I'd consider it.

It sounds good, but I'm pretty sure I wouldn't want to hump one.

Although if one bought me dinner, I'd consider it.

Oh it would. Especially since my sax is a classy, expensive sax, not some cheap pawn-shop sax.

I'm taking applications. There are two spots open. Gender irrelevant. You've got exactly 10 lines to make your case, and I will choose the two successful candidates by 11pm (MST) tonight.

Edit: you must be over 21 years of age, or make a truly fantastic application for me to even consider you under that age.

what can I say...

All I can offer is my best. Whether or not that fits your needs or wants is really up to you. :)

Saxophone. The sexiest instrument ever made.
*high fives*

Also, this Jocabia person's making me hot. Can I have them instead of Sin?

what can I say...

All I can offer is my best. Whether or not that fits your needs or wants is really up to you. :)

Hmmm.

Well let me ask you this. If you were offered the choice between a lemon, and a pear, which would you choose and why?

Oh it would. Especially since my sax is a classy, expensive sax, not some cheap pawn-shop sax.

Sounds like a high-maintenance sax to me..... I would imagine it would expect me to carry it around everywhere, open doors for it, and god knows what else.

Nothing wrong with some random cheap sax, it could surprise you.

Sounds like a high-maintenance sax to me..... I would imagine it would expect me to carry it around everywhere, open doors for it, and god knows what else.

Nothing wrong with some random cheap sax, it could surprise you.

Hey, you gotta treat a sax right. Cheap saxes give you crap sound, and you don't want to spend money on a good sax and bang it up, yeah? Gotta take care of saxes.

*high fives*

Also, this Jocabia person's making me hot. Can I have them instead of Sin?

You seriously don't want to get between me and my prey.

You seriously don't want to get between me and my prey.
If you so much as look at Jocabia, I'll take you down.

I wouldn't ever have sex with you. But its fun watch all these guys scramble over each other to have the chance.

If you so much as look at Jocabia, I'll take you down.

Oh I'm looking. You best back the FUCK up before I start cutting a bitch.

I wouldn't ever have sex with you.

You are so right on that point.

Oh I'm looking. You best back the FUCK up before I start cutting a bitch.
With language like that, you're cruising for a bruising. I'll teach you how the big kids play, mmkay sweetie?

You are so right on that point.

haha, I guess I left myself wide open on that one.

I'm taking applications. There are two spots open. Gender irrelevant. You've got exactly 10 lines to make your case, and I will choose the two successful candidates by 11pm (MST) tonight.

Edit: you must be over 21 years of age, or make a truly fantastic application for me to even consider you under that age.

I
am
very
good
at
wasting
chances
like
this.
weew.


:wink:

Cat fight?

Hey, you gotta treat a sax right. Cheap saxes give you crap sound, and you don't want to spend money on a good sax and bang it up, yeah? Gotta take care of saxes.

Are you suggesting I might have a domestic with my sax, if it doesn't sound right? I would never commit a sax crime, I'm not a monster.

I'm going to bed now, and I am sure I will dream of having dinner with a saxophone, thanks for that! :salute:

With language like that, you're cruising for a bruising. I'll teach you how the big kids play, mmkay sweetie?

I'm small, but I'm vicious...I've kicked the asses of big Indian girls named Ramona...you think your skinny little ass is going to withstand the fury?

Bitch, you dreamin'.

Are you suggesting I might have a domestic with my sax, if it doesn't sound right? I would never commit a sax crime, I'm not a monster.

I'm going to bed now, and I am sure I will dream of having dinner with a saxophone, thanks for that! :salute:

I hope it's a very saxy dream.

I
am
very
good
at
wasting
chances
like
this.
weew.


:wink:

You also have a total hotty anyway, don't be greedy, give the other studs a chance :D

I wouldn't ever have sex with you. But its fun watch all these guys scramble over each other to have the chance.

you do realize you just ticked all the criteria right? :tongue:

SNIP

a typical secret Billionaires answer!

I hope it's a very saxy dream.

lets hope he can read between the lines (I tried)

You also have a total hotty anyway, don't be greedy, give the other studs a chance :D

yeah, i do :D

besides, the other guys wouldn't stand a chance if i was serious, clearly *nods* :tongue:

yeah, i do :D

besides, the other guys wouldn't stand a chance if i was serious, clearly *nods* :tongue:

Truthiness.

I'm small, but I'm vicious...I've kicked the asses of big Indian girls named Ramona...you think your skinny little ass is going to withstand the fury?

Bitch, you dreamin'.
Honey, no. I'm trying to do you a favour. This isn't something you can win. Wind your neck in.

Honey, no. I'm trying to do you a favour. This isn't something you can win. Wind your neck in.

At this point, you need to stop smack talking and curl up in a fetal position and sob like a baby, cuz I GOT your man.

*cocks head*

*blank stare*

Ah, it's too late. There are Erics in here.

There's one more position open.

I have boobies
I'm intelligent
I'll switch
I have boobies
um...
hmm...
nothing else (except my sex swing)

I have boobies
I have boobies

shes got two?!?!1

I have boobies
I'm intelligent
I'll switch
I have boobies
um...
hmm...
nothing else (except my sex swing)

First female contestant!

Sex swing.

hmmm.

Do you know how to use a strap-on?

I have boobies
I'm intelligent
I'll switch
I have boobies
um...
hmm...
nothing else (except my sex swing)
*Shames Smunkee* :p

First female contestant!

Sex swing.

hmmm.

Do you know how to use a strap-on?

;) Of course. You don't have penis envy for very long before buying your very own.

Blame Biyay, it was her idea.

;) Of course. You don't have penis envy for very long before buying your very own.

Blame Biyay, it was her idea.

Now there's a women who can fuck like a man.

shes got two?!?!1

Yes. Two boobies.

First female contestant!

Who told you I was male?

Who told you I was male?

Ok, well first contestant I know for sure is female.

I have nothing going for me.
I am small, weak, and have no self-esteem.
I couldn't be sexy on my best day.
I don't even have a large penis.
I am, however, extremely feminist.
And you may dominate me.
But I'll fight back if it goes to far.

There's my app. (I'm just doing this for the hell of it)

Wait. Are you me? :eek:

Ok, well first contestant I know for sure is female.

That's what makes me so much fun...guessing what you're getting poked with.

May I suggest craigslist?

No, you may not.

I'm taking applications. There are two spots open. Gender irrelevant. You've got exactly 10 lines to make your case, and I will choose the two successful candidates by 11pm (MST) tonight.

Edit: you must be over 21 years of age, or make a truly fantastic application for me to even consider you under that age.

Do I gotta get with your friends?

So many men waiting in line for a shot at a woman. There's a social commentary waiting to happen.

Neesika is trying to be the new Tila Tequila???

What are your kinks, if any? What kind of lover are you?

Oh you have NO idea.

Oh you have NO idea.

<.<

>.>

Which is why I asked. ;)

<.<

>.>

Which is why I asked. ;)

let's just say ONE of you is going home bruised.

Only one?

Only one?

depends on who wins, I suppose.

How does one win?

How does one win?

if you have to ask, you don't have a prayer.

if you have to ask, you don't have a prayer.

Generally such things have been solved through wrestling or restrained street-fighting in my experience, but there are other ways.

*Can't stop laughing at all the perverted jokes that keep popping up[ :p ] in his head to make a senseable post*

Pfft, what's the point in getting casual sex from the internets if you're not going to risk the other person being a 14 year old boy?

http://i94.photobucket.com/albums/l84/conejopindejo/obese.jpg
This used to have a funnier caption.

There's one more position open.The money shot?
:D

If only I were bi, I would totally apply, and I'm sure we would have lots of fun. ;)

Instead, though, I'm just going to let the guys on here imagine what that would have been like. Have fun, boys. :tongue:

I am 25, considered attractive by the general population, disease-free and appreciative of both genders. I have a higher sex drive than any women I've met and most men. I love being outdoors, climbing trees and swimming, reading poetry, learning foreign languages and eating leftover pad thai in bed. I clean up well and I get dirty even better. I like to laugh.

That said, while I've gone through my masochistic phases, I'm not big on BDSM, and I bruise if you just look at me too long. I'm also an only child and not very good at sharing, even with cool people like GoG and Jocabia.

If only I were bi, I would totally apply, and I'm sure we would have lots of fun. ;)

Instead, though, I'm just going to let the guys on here imagine what that would have been like. Have fun, boys. :tongue:

Hey, don't discriminate! I want to imagine what it would have been like too. :p

Hey, don't discriminate! I want to imagine what it would have been like too. :p

Hehe, fair enough. Have fun, boys and girls. ;)

Well, it's 11pm mountain time...I've given it some thought and I believe I shall release the mighty Eric into the loving arms of Tribes. You're right girl...he just wasn't for me.

Ryadn was shortlisted, but I'm afraid the inability to share is problematic, as I intend to stay poly, with GoG being the main recepient of my full-time loving.

While I appreciate the other applications that have been made, I simply have to abstain from making a choice at this time. I believe I shall instead extend the hours for applications until Tuesday morning, 9am MST. Those that have applied already need not do so again, I will continue to consider them.

Thank you.

lol this thread is funny. If you’re looking for a lover it’s a two way street. If you don’t give your own profile people cannot decide if they want you. If they don’t want you, you should not want them.

Such things as gender and age should be a minimum for anyone to consider. For all we know your an 80 year old in a wheel chair. As someone who is 20 (Knowing that you want 21+ so you’re most likely American) there is an obvious reason why I would never consider that.

There is also the issue of likes and dislikes. I could love cats whilst you hate them. You could be a vegan when I eat meat with every meal. If you truly want to use a game forum for dating there is a lot of information you should supply.

Did you also get the idea that many people live in different countries? I could be anywhere from Alaska to Texas to Rome to Tokyo to Sydney at the moment.

So regardless of the distance between us (who knows how far), possible age difference (who knows how much), different likes and dislikes to whatever amount, having a late reply (I suspect, I just know I am in a different county than you) and physical attractiveness of both of us I think ill finish off with this.

I would never date anyone who uses a political game as a dating site and misses out such obvious things. It leads me to suspect stupidity when the mind is the most attractive thing to me in a relationship

lol this thread is funny. If you’re looking for a lover it’s a two way street. If you don’t give your own profile people cannot decide if they want you. If they don’t want you, you should not want them.

Such things as gender and age should be a minimum for anyone to consider. For all we know your an 80 year old in a wheel chair. As someone who is 20 (Knowing that you want 21+ so you’re most likely American) there is an obvious reason why I would never consider that.

There is also the issue of likes and dislikes. I could love cats whilst you hate them. You could be a vegan when I eat meat with every meal. If you truly want to use a game forum for dating there is a lot of information you should supply.

Did you also get the idea that many people live in different countries? I could be anywhere from Alaska to Texas to Rome to Tokyo to Sydney at the moment.

So regardless of the distance between us (who knows how far), possible age difference (who knows how much), different likes and dislikes to whatever amount, having a late reply (I suspect, I just know I am in a different county than you) and physical attractiveness of both of us I think ill finish off with this.

I would never date anyone who uses a political game as a dating site and misses out such obvious things. It leads me to suspect stupidity when the mind is the most attractive thing to me in a relationship

Pfft, 10 lines..

Sin, do you know how evil our kids would be? Let's fuck.

Consider yourself crossed off the 'possible' list.

You talk too much, Self-Sacrifice.

Pfft, 10 lines..

Sin, do you know how evil our kids would be? Let's fuck.

You're too young Ruffy, sorry.

It should be obvious by now that the only people I'd actually consider are those who 'know' me fairly well on NSG by now.

Sorry n00bs. I'm not going to lift a finger to 'impress' you.

You're too young Ruffy, sorry.

Well, how about in 2 years, baby?

It should be obvious by now that the only people I'd actually consider are those who 'know' me fairly well on NSG by now.

Sorry n00bs. I'm not going to lift a finger to 'impress' you.

Pff, you don't have to impress us, and you know it.

Well, maybe.

Well, how about in 2 years, baby?

Talk to me then.

Talk to me then.

Shit, I'll do more than talk..

You're assuming I'd remove the duct-tape from your mouth?

Pff, you don't have to impress us, and you know it.

Well, maybe.

Except you're not a n00b Potty, and you know it. :fluffle:

You're assuming I'd remove the duct-tape from your mouth?

Giggity giggity.

Except you're not a n00b Potty, and you know it. :fluffle:

But that doesn't mean you shouldn't "impress" us, if you get my drift.

But that doesn't mean you shouldn't "impress" us, if you get my drift.

Does "impress" equal "post naked pictures"?

I'm just asking.

Ryadn was shortlisted, but I'm afraid the inability to share is problematic, as I intend to stay poly, with GoG being the main recepient of my full-time loving.

It's an honor just to be nominated. If that ever changes and I find myself near Montreal, I'll let you know.

Does "impress" equal "post naked pictures"?

I'm just asking.

Provocative ones, hopefully. And, if it's not too much to ask, videos would also be nice.

I'm considering.

But they would have to be posted elsewhere.

Shit, I'll do more than talk..No you won't.
Well, i must correct myself .... i'm sure you'll take pictures.
*votes Ruffy '08*

You're assuming I'd remove the duct-tape from your mouth?Don't be cruel. He's trying to grow a moustache.

Does "impress" equal "post naked pictures"?

I'm just asking.That's the kind of question that just BEGS an answer.

Sin, do you know how evil our kids would be? Let's fuck.Best come on line on NSG evah.

...can I get with your friends?

*suprised it hasn't been said yet*

That's what makes me so much fun...guessing what you're getting poked with.

Not really, the answer's obvious....


A saxophone.

If you like masochism, I'm kind of violent, so that fits nicely.
Consider yourself sigged.

Um... most of the information about me in the Jolt profile and NSG Player Profile's still up to date, except I'm 26 now and have moved to Kent, Ohio, for graduate school. I'm probably still a bit young, though...

Most of the women down here aren't exactly as open-minded as I am, and heaven help you if you ever want a good dominatrix without having to pay through the ass.

Yeah, I know, my application sucks but you can't win if you don't enter, right?

*Makes notes of all the applicants to make a "Hey, I'm better than nothing" offer*

*snip*

You take the Internet far too seriously.

I'm taking applications. There are two spots open. Gender irrelevant. You've got exactly 10 lines to make your case, and I will choose the two successful candidates by 11pm (MST) tonight.

Edit: you must be over 21 years of age, or make a truly fantastic application for me to even consider you under that age.
Lol, I am loving this whole 'I will choose my lover' element, it's so 18th century.

Lol, I am loving this whole 'I will choose my lover' element, it's so 18th century.

I'm sorry, Andaras - she's not that left wing, so you might be a little to extreme to qualify. :tongue:

I'm sorry, Andaras - she's not that left wing, so you might be a little to extreme to qualify. :tongue:
Well honestly, who still has 'lovers', lol.

Well honestly, who still has 'lovers', lol.

It's not unheard of.

Not I, though. I'm taken and monogamous. ;)

how good are you as a chimney sweep?

Probably horrible?

Wait. Are you me? :eek:

No, I live in Massachusetts. Bit far south to be you.

Well honestly, who still has 'lovers', lol.

People who enjoy fucking multiple persons without lying about it.

*Makes notes of all the applicants to make a "Hey, I'm better than nothing" offer*

Yes, 'tis interesting that.

It should be obvious by now that the only people I'd actually consider are those who 'know' me fairly well on NSG by now.

Sorry n00bs. I'm not going to lift a finger to 'impress' you.

Well that's not very fair, seeing as how plenty of us are lifting several fingers to impress you.

I'm taking applications. There are two spots open. Gender irrelevant. You've got exactly 10 lines to make your case, and I will choose the two successful candidates by 11pm (MST) tonight.

I'm gone at Pride for a week, and you become even sluttier? The world really does move on without one...

Well that's not very fair, seeing as how plenty of us are lifting several fingers to impress you.

The trick is in using the fingers actively, not just lifting them :p

I'm gone at Pride for a week, and you become even sluttier? The world really does move on without one...

Oooh, nice avatar. It's one of them flags where the sunlight hit just right and you can see the cross, right?


:wink:


*Flees*

Oooh, nice avatar. It's one of them flags where the sunlight hit just right and you can see the cross, right?


:wink:


*Flees*

Look more like a dove (http://school.discoveryeducation.com/clipart/images/dove-bw.gif) to me.

Look more like a dove (http://school.discoveryeducation.com/clipart/images/dove-bw.gif) to me.

Women see what they want to see...

:p

Oooh, nice avatar. It's one of them flags where the sunlight hit just right and you can see the cross, right?

Cross? Your subconscious seems to be Christian. Binge and purge.

Cross? Your subconscious seems to be Christian. Binge and purge.

Women see what they want to see...

:p

And men avoid seeing what they don't want to see?

Fair enough.

I'm 30, aboriginal, female, working on my second degree (in law, last degree was in Education), resident of Canada, hardcore masochist, budding sadist, very left wing, very independent, I sing, I play guitar and other instruments, and I'm very outdoorsy.

The job entails satisfying me.

Hmm, sounds like my kind of woman, but without pics, not worth the risk of beaching a whale...

Cross? Your subconscious seems to be Christian. Binge and purge.

I blame indoctrination and the failure to properly separate church and state.

Can you write a prescription for some Läkarsprit, perchance?

And men avoid seeing what they don't want to see?

See? You're getting the hang of it! :tongue:

I blame indoctrination and the failure to properly separate church and state.

Norwegians. :rolleyes:

Can you write a prescription for some Läkarsprit, perchance?

I can. Do you have a valid personnummer?

I am the gatekeeper to his divine entity Straughn
31 male
Still in college because I haven't decided what I want to do when I grow up
Former Marine
Located in South Central Alaska...or Central Alaska
Able to kill a bear bare handed

First, you gotta be my friend. ;)

First, you gotta be my friend. ;)

I'll be your friend, Kat. *wiggle, wiggle*

Well honestly, who still has 'lovers', lol.

Not you, obviously :tongue:

I'm gone at Pride for a week, and you become even sluttier? The world really does move on without one...

There is no end to my sluttiness...you of all people should know this well.

One day...one distant day, I dream that I can achieve YOUR level of sluttiness.

Hmm, sounds like my kind of woman, but without pics, not worth the risk of beaching a whale...

It's true, I'm fat and hideous.

*looks around, panics.* Oops, wrong thread.

Edit: you must be over 21 years of age, or make a truly fantastic application for me to even consider you under that age.

I'll take that as a compliment.

I'll take that as a compliment.

You are the exception to my rule.

I'll take that as a compliment.

Come on, Kir. We can be a threesome. We need an ambisexual in the group.

Eric has been denied.

Has he? Is that what that was? Denial? Hmmmm...

Able to kill a bear bare handed
Since ye was only three!

I'm taking applications. There are two spots open. Gender irrelevant. You've got exactly 10 lines to make your case, and I will choose the two successful candidates by 11pm (MST) tonight.

Edit: you must be over 21 years of age, or make a truly fantastic application for me to even consider you under that age.


Do I have to reapply or do I hold a permanent spot? :tongue:

;) Of course. You don't have penis envy for very long before buying your very own.

Blame Biyay, it was her idea.

Now there's a women who can fuck like a man.

She was a pro right away too. I don't know how she caught on so fast.

I accept the position.

i was gone for about 20 minutes and then there's a thread the length of 11 pages.

Do I have to reapply or do I hold a permanent spot? :tongue:

Permanent spot, you and biyay.

I accept the position.

You have me, heart and soul, whenever you wish, and in as many positions as you can possibly desire. Always above all others. Unless we're having group sex and you're on the bottom.

*looks around, panics.* Oops, wrong thread.

Were you looking for a new pair of gloves, too?

Nice boots, let's fuck.

"I just washed my sheets, let's fuck."

That one worked once.

Pfft, what's the point in getting casual sex from the internets if you're not going to risk the other person being a 14 year old boy?

Hear, Hear!

Really? Do you clamp your mouth tightly over the other person, blow, and play a tune by covering alternate nostrils with your fingers? Far out.

I just laughed and my head almost fell off.
Then i stared to think about what that would actually look like.
Im intrigued. I must try this.

No, but I'm used to delicately manipulating at least a half-inch of mouthpiece and reed.

Im sorry, but even when you say it like that - there is nothing sexy about it.

Fair enough.

I'm 30, aboriginal, female, working on my second degree (in law, last degree was in Education), resident of Canada, hardcore masochist, budding sadist, very left wing, very independent, I sing, I play guitar and other instruments, and I'm very outdoorsy.

The job entails satisfying me.

Damn. If I was single I would have been quite eager to apply.

I'm game, but I ain't applying.

No, but I'm used to delicately manipulating at least a half-inch of mouthpiece and reed.

I'm booking my flight right now.:hail:

No application - you have to beg me.

Im sorry, but even when you say it like that - there is nothing sexy about it.

You say that without having heard me play. Mind, I haven't played in a while so I'm sure it would be crap now but if you'd heard me a few years ago you'd be very impressed.

I'm booking my flight right now.:hail:

See, she's heard me play...sort of...

Nice boots, let's fuck.

I prefer the Shakespearian version:
Mi'lady, thy footwear is pleasing to mine eyes. Wouldst thou like to accompany me to my place of residence and engage in fornication?

See, she's heard me play...sort of...

Among other "things", and the SSA.;)

.....you gotta get with my friends?

Godammit, now i'm going to have that song in my head for the rest of the day.

Among other "things", and the SSA.;)

The trick is to get the technique down of just flicking the tip of the reed with your tongue. And then there's double-tonguing...or triple...

But, having made out with several reed players and several non reed players, I can confidently say that reed players are better. I snogged a clarinet player once, and it was one of her first times snogging, and she was still amazing. Reeds FTW.

NO NO NO NO NO NO and NO.

This thread title is evil and has put the Spice Girls in my head.

I hate you so much.

The trick is to get the technique down of just flicking the tip of the reed with your tongue. And then there's double-tonguing...or triple...

But, having made out with several reed players and several non reed players, I can confidently say that reed players are better. I snogged a clarinet player once, and it was one of her first times snogging, and she was still amazing. Reeds FTW.

I'm gonna have to try you first and then I'll pass judgement. You are not to be trusted. :shifty:

I'm gonna have to try you first and then I'll pass judgement. You are not to be trusted. :shifty:

*Waiting*

This thread title is evil and has put the Spice Girls in my head.

I hate you so much.

Oops, I did it again...

*Waiting*

Get to your pad first. LOL!

Not a rickroll. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFpu0ROaPLQ)

Get to your pad first. LOL!

There in a week.

Not a rickroll. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFpu0ROaPLQ)

Is a Rickroll (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0)...or is it?

I'm game, but I ain't applying.

Yes but you were always on the short-list, my grizzled dutchman in rubber boots.

No application - you have to beg me.

Hahahha...someone was paying attention!

This thread title is evil and has put the Spice Girls in my head.

I hate you so much.

Hate me with your sex.

I'm merely commenting that this thread title has stuck the song in my head over the last days - for that alone, even if I was Monsieur D'Amour, you'd get nothing.

Hahahha...someone was paying attention!



Hate me with your sex.

When do I not?



Either that is.

When do I not?

Either that is.

We need to have a heated debate, get all caught up in semantic arguments and end up in sweaty heap, each declaring ourselves the victor.

Hate me with your sex.
My eyebrows went up, IRL.

My eyebrows went up, IRL.

How I actually managed to cause that after all these years is truly mystifying to me. Where is Bottle and what have you done with her!?

Hmmm.

Well let me ask you this. If you were offered the choice between a lemon, and a pear, which would you choose and why?

oh, the possiblities...

a Lemon, tangy
a Pear, smooth

their juices are plenty, their necters sweet

and the things I can do with both... :tongue:

and the things I could do to you with both... :$

er... sorry... what was the question again...

How I actually managed to cause that after all these years is truly mystifying to me. Where is Bottle and what have you done with her!?
Well, for whatever it's worth, said eyebrows then proceeded to wiggle up and down suggestively.

How you doin'.
;)

Better :D

WHAT?!? BOTTLE! AB! VITTOS!

Sin should make these threads every week.

Fair enough.

I'm 30, aboriginal, female, working on my second degree (in law, last degree was in Education), resident of Canada, hardcore masochist, budding sadist, very left wing, very independent, I sing, I play guitar and other instruments, and I'm very outdoorsy.

The job entails satisfying me.

If only you lived closer, the Wifey and I might apply for the two positions. We are THE pleasure team!

"I'm disturbed! I'm depressed! I'm inadequate! I got it all!!"

"You can't find sickness like that anywhere, you think sickness like that grows on trees? Nobody is sicker than me, nobody...I'm the genuine article."

I'm taking applications. There are two spots open. Gender irrelevant. You've got exactly 10 lines to make your case, and I will choose the two successful candidates by 11pm (MST) tonight.

Edit: you must be over 21 years of age, or make a truly fantastic application for me to even consider you under that age.

how about the desk gets flipped over, your glasses get smacked off and you're face down on the carpet as your hear fabric ripping?

I do all my best stuff in one line or less.

WHAT?!? BOTTLE! AB! VITTOS!

Sin should make these threads every week.

Sin only has so much time for sexing you know.

how about the desk gets flipped over, your glasses get smacked off and you're face down on the carpet as your hear fabric ripping?

I do all my best stuff in one line or less.

Yes well, you always did know how to push my buttons.

I had an idea for an application somewhere around page 6, but I forgot over the course of the next 8 pages. Damn. Ach, it's not like I'm into S&M anyway.

Sin only has so much time for sexing you know.

That makes me sad. :( The universe should organize itself to better accommodate Sin's sexing schedule.

Sin only has so much time for sexing you know.

That will have to change. Jocabia's here now.

That will have to change. Jocabia's here now.

Eric was denied early on.

Jocabia get no lovin'.

I is applying... let me fill out the application...

Eric was denied early on.

Jocabia get no lovin'.

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.