NationStates Jolt Archive


Diet, please!

South Lorenya
30-07-2008, 18:09
That is one fat cat!

Meet Princess Chunk, a 44-pound hunk of feline flesh, a cat so big that she needs a bathtub for a litter box.

Volunteers at a New Jersey animal shelter are trying to find a new home for the corpulent kitty - a really big home.

Send photos of your fat cat to cats@nypost.com.

Officials at the Camden County Animal Shelter in Blackwood say they received the cat Saturday from Animal Control after she was found wandering around outdoors with no ID tags.

As hard as it is to fathom, volunteers think her owner might have lost her, which is as difficult a possibility to imagine as, well, as a 44-pound cat.

"I mean, how do you lose a 44-pound cat?" said shelter volunteer Deborah Wright.

Wright told the Camden Courier Post that volunteers named the cat Captain Chunk until they realized it was a girl.

It was probably hard to tell.

Usually when people talk about fat cats in New Jersey, they are talking about members of the state legislature. Or extras in a "Sopranos" shoot.

But when this portly pussycat came waddling along, they knew they had something different on their hands.

"She was probably fed table scraps, or may have a thyroid problem," Wright said.

Veterinarians say a healthy cat should weigh between 10 and 12 pounds, and that Princess Chunk's condition could be a combination of bad genetics and way too much Meow Mix.

The largest tabby on record tipped the scales at 46 pounds, 15 ounces. That cat, who lived in Australia, died in the 1980s at about age 10.

The Guinness Book of World Records dropped its category for overweight cats, fearing some fat-head feline owner would jeopardize a pet's health in a bid to break the record.

Wright said she isn't interested in breaking records - or her scale. She'll put Princess Chunk on a diet of low-fat Purina and 1 percent milk, and definitely no lasagna. (Look what that did for Garfield.) Also, Princess will get plenty of cat toys to start exercising.

"I'm about to put a leash on her and walk her," Wright told the paper. "She could pass for a dog."

Princess Chunk's owner, who by now may have been eaten into the poorhouse, has until the end of the week to claim her, after which the cat will be eligible for adoption.

"She's laid-back and friendly," Wright said. "We just hope someone loving will adopt her."

http://www.nypost.com/seven/07302008/news/regionalnews/fat_cat_122221.htm

How can they let a cat get so Snorlaxian? When Polgar reached nine pounds, we switched to weight management food! And since this cat's FIVE TIMES THAT...
Trans Fatty Acids
30-07-2008, 18:15
Poor thing, if she hasn't developed joint problems yet, she probably will soon. Sounds like another case of an owner's neurosis being inflicted on the pet.
United Dependencies
30-07-2008, 18:21
way to much meow mix heheheheheh...
South Lorenya
30-07-2008, 18:24
In other news, TNAPWTTFTS (The National Association Of People Who Take Themselves Far Too Seriously) is outraged over an upcoming game called Fat Princess. Maybe they should replace her with the cat?
Smunkeeville
30-07-2008, 18:47
Poor kitty. :(
Lunatic Goofballs
30-07-2008, 18:51
Three months of dieting later:

"Whoa! My harbl! Yay!"
Conserative Morality
30-07-2008, 18:51
Poor kitten. Why'd they let it get like that?


Oh, and I don't mean to sound like a perv, but what the F*** is hanging out of the cat in that picture?
South Lorenya
30-07-2008, 18:56
Oh, and I don't mean to sound like a perv, but what the F*** is hanging out of the cat in that picture?

Her tail. Obviously, they could have made a better picture.
Conserative Morality
30-07-2008, 18:57
Her tail. Obviously, they could have made a better picture.

Ah. Yes. Yes they could have.
Smunkeeville
30-07-2008, 18:59
three Months Of Dieting Later:

"whoa! My Harbl! Yay!"

Lmao. :D
Hotwife
30-07-2008, 19:15
Maybe they plan on eating it for Christmas dinner.
Kryozerkia
30-07-2008, 19:16
Poor kitty!
Hotwife
30-07-2008, 19:23
Roast Cat

Preparation time: About 5 hours.
Ingredients

* 1 cat, approx. 15 lbs.*
* Juice of a lemon
* Salt and pepper
* Olive oil or melted butter
* 1/2 yellow onion, peeled and quartered
* Tops and bottoms of a bunch of celery
* 2 carrots
* Parsley
* Sprigs of fresh rosemary, thyme

* Need help figuring out how big a cat to get? My website has a cat calculator that helps you figure out just how many pounds you need. In general, plan for:

12-15 lb cat for 10-12 people
15-18 lb cat for 14-16 people
18-22 lb cat for 20-22 people

Method

1 To start, if the cat has been refrigerated, bring it to room temperature before cooking. Keep it in its plastic wrapping until you are ready to cook it. While in the refrigerator, and or while you are bringing it to room temp, have the cat resting in a pan, so that if the plastic covering leaks for any reason, you are confining the juices to the pan. If you get a frozen cat, you will need to defrost it in the refrigerator for several days first. Allow approximately 5 hours of defrosting for every pound. So, if you have a 15 pound cat, it will take about 75 hours to defrost it in the refrigerator, or around 3 days.

Handle a raw cat with the same amount of caution as when you handle raw chicken - use a separate cutting board and utensils to avoid contaminating other foods. Wash you hands with soap before touching anything else in the kitchen. Use paper towels to clean up.

Remove the neck and giblets (heart, stomach, liver). Use the heart and stomach for making stock for the stuffing. The neck can be cooked along side the cat or saved for cat soup.

Note that if your cat comes with a plastic piece holding the legs together, check the instructions on the cat's package. Most likely you do not need to remove those plastic ties for cooking (unless you plan to cook your cat at a very high temperature). If you remove the plastic ties, you will need to use kitchen string to tie the legs together.

2 Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F.

3 Wash out the cat with water. Pull out any remaining fur stubs in the cat skin. Pat the cat dry with paper towels. Lather the inside of the cavity with the juice of half a lemon. Take a small handful of salt and rub all over the inside of the cat.

4 In this method of cooking a cat, we don't make the stuffing in the cat because doing so adds too much to the cooking time. For flavor, put in inside the cat a half a yellow onion, peeled and quartered, a bunch of parsley, a couple of carrots, and some tops and bottoms of celery. You may need to cap the body cavity with some aluminum foil so that the stuffing doesn't easily fall out. Close up the cat cavity with either string (not nylon string!) or metal skewers. Make sure that the cat's legs are tied together, held close to the body, and tie a string around the cat body to hold the wings in close.

The neck cavity can be stuffed with parsley and tied closed with thin skewers and string.

5 Rub either melted butter or olive oil all over the outside of the cat. Sprinkle salt generously all over the outside of the cat (or have had it soaking in salt-water brine before starting this process). Sprinkle pepper over the cat.

6 Place cat CHEST DOWN on the bottom of a rack over a sturdy roasting pan big enough to catch all the drippings. This is the main difference between the way mom makes cat and everyone else. Cooking the cat chest down means the skin over the chest will not get so brown. However, all of the juices from the cooking cat will fall down into the chest while cooking. And the resulting cat will have the most succulent cat chest imaginable.

Add several sprigs of fresh (if possible) thyme and rosemary to the outside of the cat.

7 Chop up the cat gibs (stomach, heart, liver). Put into a small saucepan, cover with water, add salt. Bring to simmer for an hour or so to help make stock for the stuffing (see stuffing recipe).

8 Put the cat in the oven. Check the cooking directions on the cat packaging. Gourmet cats often don't take as long to cook. With the cats mom gets, she recommends cooking time of about 15 minutes for every pound. For the 15 lb cat, start the cooking at 400 F for the first 1/2 hour. Then reduce the heat to 350 F for the next 2 hours. Then reduce the heat further to 225 F for the next hour to hour and a half.

If you want the chest to be browned as well, you can turn over the cat for the last 15-20 minutes of cooking, at an oven temp of 300°F. (Oven must be at least 250°F for browning to occur.) Note that if you do this, you will have a higher risk of overcooking the cat chest. We never worry about browning the chest.

Start taking temperature readings with a meat thermometer, inserted deep into the thickest part of the cat chest and thigh, a half hour before the cat should be done. The dark meat in the thigh should be about 175 F. The white meat in the chest should be 160 F to 165 F. If you don't have a meat thermometer, spear the chest with a knife. The cat juices should be clear, not pink.

9 Once you remove the cat from the oven, let it rest for 15-20 minutes. Turn the cat chest side up to carve it. (See San Francisco Chronicle's Olivia Wu on carving a cat and Bon Appetit's instructions on how to carve a cat.)


Making Cat Gravy

Scrape all the drippings off of the bottom of the roasting pan. Pour drippings into a smaller skillet. Ladle off excess fat with a gravy spoon and save for possible use later. In a separate small bowl take a quarter cup of corn starch and add just enough water to dissolve the corn starch. Beat cornstarch with a spoon to remove lumps. Slowly add the cornstarch mixture to the drippings, stirring constantly. You may not end up using all of the cornstarch mixture. Only add as much as you need to get the desired thickness. Allow time for the cornstarch to thicken the gravy. Add salt, pepper, sage, thyme, or other seasonings to taste.


Save Bones for Stock

When you are finished with your cat, save the bones from the carcass to make a delicious cat soup.
Anti-Social Darwinism
30-07-2008, 20:31
I have a fat cat. She should probably weigh about half what she does weigh - and at that she weighs half what Princess Chunky weighs.

Emma is on a weight control diet, has been for several years now. We finally found out that she has a medical condition that's extremely rare in cats: so rare that the vet looked for a second opinion - she's hypothyroid. Just like in people, it doesn't happen often, so it's not something they look for.

It's doubtful, but maybe the Princess is hypothyroid.

Joint problems aren't the only issue she could have. Like humans, she could become diabetic - then they'll have the joy of giving her insulin and monitoring her sugar and diet - not fun with a cat.
Hotwife
30-07-2008, 20:32
I have a fat cat. She should probably weigh about half what she does weigh - and at that she weighs half what Princess Chunky weighs.

Emma is on a weight control diet, has been for several years now. We finally found out that she has a medical condition that's extremely rare in cats: so rare that the vet looked for a second opinion - she's hypothyroid. Just like in people, it doesn't happen often, so it's not something they look for.

It's doubtful, but maybe the Princess is hypothyroid.

Save the bones for stock...
Ifreann
30-07-2008, 20:35
Save the bones for stock...

Hell, save the bones to fashion weapons and tools.
Hurdegaryp
30-07-2008, 21:27
Everything's bigger and fatter in America. Cats are no exception.
Conserative Morality
30-07-2008, 21:31
Everything's bigger and fatter in America. Cats are no exception.

No, no, that's Texas you're thinking of.:D
Hurdegaryp
31-07-2008, 00:28
What America is to the world, Texas is to America. A scary thought, no?
Conserative Morality
31-07-2008, 00:31
What America is to the world, Texas is to America. A scary thought, no?

*Sits in corner rocking back and forth*
South Lorenya
09-08-2008, 22:16
I'm sure you'll be happy to hear that Princess Chunk (now known as Prince Chunk) has been adopted (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080808/ap_on_re_us/odd_big_cat_found;_ylt=Ah4WXnLklEgmkI2eOE6W8vTtiBIF). Apolopgies to the mods if this qualifies as a gravedig, but...
Gun Manufacturers
09-08-2008, 22:26
http://www.nypost.com/seven/07302008/news/regionalnews/fat_cat_122221.htm

How can they let a cat get so Snorlaxian? When Polgar reached nine pounds, we switched to weight management food! And since this cat's FIVE TIMES THAT...

Holy shit! That thing weighs more than an average sized female Eurasian Lynx.
Ryadn
09-08-2008, 22:31
It seems somewhat cruel to me to let an animal get to that condition. Not quite as egregious as parents who feed their toddlers big macs and the like, but irresponsible nonetheless. We've had cats in my house my whole life, and the only one that's ever really been fat is our three-legged cat, who lives strictly indoors. We also had (rest in peace) a cat who was always on the slim side, but got worse as she got older. We took her to the vet and she was diagnosed with a hyperthyroid--and also weighed in at 5.5 pounds. It was hard to tell because she was extremely fluffy and always readily ate whatever was put in front of her, and we fed her on demand, so we felt really bad when we found out she was underweight. :(

What upsets me even more is when people overfeed dogs, especially golden retrievers. We have a one and half year old golden, and people always remark on how slim she is, even though we feed her about 4 cups of food a day and the vet always says she's a perfect weight. People just get used to seeing goldens that look like tanks, and it's really bad for them because of the hip problems they usually have due to inbreeding. And you have to be really responsible with how you feed and care for golden retrievers because, left to their own devices, they'll eat anything in their path and weigh 100 pounds.
Katganistan
09-08-2008, 22:37
It's abuse, pure and simple.
SaintB
10-08-2008, 15:23
The biggest cat I ever owned was 15 lbs, and he was so long and tall that his weight was certified ok...
Chumblywumbly
10-08-2008, 15:25
How can they let a cat get so Snorlaxian? When Polgar reached nine pounds, we switched to weight management food! And since this cat's FIVE TIMES THAT...
That's fucking disgusting.
Western Mercenary Unio
10-08-2008, 15:28
i remember reading from this book called ''Essential Militaria''
and there was this list of foods,that the french ate during the Siege of Paris in 1870.there was cat,rat and more that can't remember.
Maraque
10-08-2008, 15:36
That's just terrible. I had a dog that was about 20 lbs overweight once, but that was near the end of his life where all he did was eat and sleep.

And one of my other dogs gained a lot of weight after an accident where he couldn't move for a month, but that's coming off now that he's much more active.

But that, is just absolute abuse.