NationStates Jolt Archive

Well, apparently Japan is moving to outlaw double-edged knives, which are evidently "much more lethal" than any other kind of knife (hmm, samurai swords were single edged, weren't they?).

As governments outlaw the more traditional methods of killing by banning the objects instead of working on the actual problem (the people who do this sort of thing), what common device do you want to get outlawed?

Let's say you pick a device, and because you theoretically did something that grabbed headlines, the government (and a few newspapers) would be up in arms ready to ban the device in question.

POST YOUR IDEAS

I just want a really cool nickname from the press. something dark and sinister, but kind of funny at the same time. like "The Ice Cream Truck Killer" or "The Bay Harbor Butcher" from Showtime's Dexter. Thats why you have to really be careful with your methods..I mean if I were to go to San Francisco or something and start killing people with one of those chrome buttplugs you can apparently get anywhere (a lethal short circuit?), Id be called something gay like "The Buttplug Bandit"...which really isnt the way I want to go, sounds all kinds of wrong. But it would still be funny to see people have a 5 day waiting period and a background check to buy their boyfriend a bedroom toy.

Ice Cream Truck Killer. Force people to eat ice cream until the brain freeze becomes unbearable and they off themselves. You would manage to outlaw ice cream as well as make people run away like they were on fire every time they heard an ice cream truck coming but you could also say lots of witty phrases like "I can't help it. I'm just cold blooded." to the media in the lead up to your trial.

Well, apparently Japan is moving to outlaw double-edged knives, which are evidently "much more lethal" than any other kind of knife (hmm, samurai swords were single edged, weren't they?).

As governments outlaw the more traditional methods of killing by banning the objects instead of working on the actual problem (the people who do this sort of thing), what common device do you want to get outlawed?

Let's say you pick a device, and because you theoretically did something that grabbed headlines, the government (and a few newspapers) would be up in arms ready to ban the device in question.

POST YOUR IDEAS

I just want a really cool nickname from the press. something dark and sinister, but kind of funny at the same time. like "The Ice Cream Truck Killer" or "The Bay Harbor Butcher" from Showtime's Dexter. Thats why you have to really be careful with your methods..I mean if I were to go to San Francisco or something and start killing people with one of those chrome buttplugs you can apparently get anywhere (a lethal short circuit?), Id be called something gay like "The Buttplug Bandit"...which really isnt the way I want to go, sounds all kinds of wrong. But it would still be funny to see people have a 5 day waiting period and a background check to buy their boyfriend a bedroom toy.

Ice Cream Truck Killer. Force people to eat ice cream until the brain freeze becomes unbearable and they off themselves. You would manage to outlaw ice cream as well as make people run away like they were on fire every time they heard an ice cream truck coming but you could also say lots of witty phrases like "I can't help it. I'm just cold blooded." to the media in the lead up to your trial.

I would outlaw Hotwifes, they have aused moe death, mayhe, and destruction than anyother thing, ever!

Umm or is that just my one?

Sporks. They are the work of the devil, and unnatural hybrid of spoon and fork, capable of scooping your eyes out and, like their fork predecessors, they have POINTY ENDS.

In my district I am known as the Chopstick Killer, for I can snap a fly from the air using only my chopsticks and a certain patience.

Some might say this makes me a master but first I realise that I have much to learn.

Then I learn that to kill is to lose control, for who controls the dead?

Thus I learn that control is merely another form of slavery.

Yet still, I have much to learn.

:hail:

Qtips. Because if you stick enough of them in your nose and mouth at once, you will die.

i would outlaw video games cause they influence kids minds:rolleyes:. the killer would be called the Video Game Killer

The quick reply on the redesigned jolt ought to be outlawed. But then, only outlaws will have quick replies.

The quick reply on the redesigned jolt ought to be outlawed. But then, only outlaws will have quick replies.

When has anything about Jolt ever been quick?

When has anything about Jolt ever been quick?

Jolt is only slow in comparison to our collective wit.

When has anything about Jolt ever been quick?
When it timewarps, of course.

Is it possible to outlaw the existence of certain politicians?

Is it possible to outlaw the existence of certain politicians?

The idea here is to use the item in question to commit a heinous act, after which people will clamor for it to be banned.

Surely, politicians can be used to that purpose...

Superman 64. Each cartridge contains enough suckage to kill off half the world population and still have enough suckage to be the worst game ever.

Basically, for those who haven't watched the Angry Video Game Nerd recently and don't know whta this game is about, here's what the game is about. You are Superman. You can fly very fast, you can punch people into the sun, toss a car into the sun, and have a wide variety of other powers, including heat vision (melt people's faces off from a distance), super breath (Superman's way of reminding you that he doesn't have to even touch you to kick your ass), x-ray vision (more like cancer vision), etc.

What do you do when you have SOOOO many ways to kick peoples' asses? Easy. You fly through hoops and and pick up cars. That's all you do in the game.

Level 1: fly through hoops
level 2: pick up cars within a laughably short amount of time. If you lose, you go back to level 1.
Level 3: Guess what you do? Take a wild guess. That's right. More hoops.
level 4: pick up a car.
level 5: More hoops.

I don't know what happens after that, besides more hoops and cars. The controls are awful. If you don't move the stick with 100% robotic accuracy, you take off in that direction at a sharp angle. Also, this game is glitchy. You don't even have to be touching a building to get stuck in it. It's just awful.

And forget about Grand Theft Auto training kids to be serial rapists/torture-killer Communazi terrorists like the media says. This game is so bad, it will drive anyone insane enough to kill.

Ban it before it's too late.

Oh, and this game isn't even a launch game. It was released in 1999. By that time, the N64 already had Mario 64, Mario Kart 64, Star Fox 64, and Ocarina of Time. The bar had been raised considerably. The developer didn't even try. They just hit rock bottom and dug. Dug deep into the bedrock.

This is the game that's making people kill. Ban it.

It'd like to outlaw the portable timepiece. This includes small clocks, pocketwatches and wristwatches. All timepieces should weigh at least a metric ton and require a significant expenditure of resources to build, maintain and operate.

I submit to you that easy access to accurate time by the masses have caused more problems than any other invention in history(with the possible exception of the automobile).

I would outlaw annoying ringtones.

Superman 64. Each cartridge contains enough suckage to kill off half the world population and still have enough suckage to be the worst game ever.

Basically, for those who haven't watched the Angry Video Game Nerd recently and don't know whta this game is about, here's what the game is about. You are Superman. You can fly very fast, you can punch people into the sun, toss a car into the sun, and have a wide variety of other powers, including heat vision (melt people's faces off from a distance), super breath (Superman's way of reminding you that he doesn't have to even touch you to kick your ass), x-ray vision (more like cancer vision), etc.

What do you do when you have SOOOO many ways to kick peoples' asses? Easy. You fly through hoops and and pick up cars. That's all you do in the game.

Level 1: fly through hoops
level 2: pick up cars within a laughably short amount of time. If you lose, you go back to level 1.
Level 3: Guess what you do? Take a wild guess. That's right. More hoops.
level 4: pick up a car.
level 5: More hoops.

I don't know what happens after that, besides more hoops and cars. The controls are awful. If you don't move the stick with 100% robotic accuracy, you take off in that direction at a sharp angle. Also, this game is glitchy. You don't even have to be touching a building to get stuck in it. It's just awful.

And forget about Grand Theft Auto training kids to be serial rapists/torture-killer Communazi terrorists like the media says. This game is so bad, it will drive anyone insane enough to kill.

Ban it before it's too late.

Oh, and this game isn't even a launch game. It was released in 1999. By that time, the N64 already had Mario 64, Mario Kart 64, Star Fox 64, and Ocarina of Time. The bar had been raised considerably. The developer didn't even try. They just hit rock bottom and dug. Dug deep into the bedrock.

This is the game that's making people kill. Ban it.

Ah, happy memories. In that I didn't own that game, but a friend did. I'd seen the reviews, but how I laughed when I saw *just* how bad it was. Especially the "solve my maze" thing.

It'd like to outlaw the portable timepiece. This includes small clocks, pocketwatches and wristwatches. All timepieces should weigh at least a metric ton and require a significant expenditure of resources to build, maintain and operate.


didn't the digital watch help anything?

Superman 64. Each cartridge contains enough suckage to kill off half the world population and still have enough suckage to be the worst game ever.

Basically, for those who haven't watched the Angry Video Game Nerd recently and don't know whta this game is about, here's what the game is about. You are Superman. You can fly very fast, you can punch people into the sun, toss a car into the sun, and have a wide variety of other powers, including heat vision (melt people's faces off from a distance), super breath (Superman's way of reminding you that he doesn't have to even touch you to kick your ass), x-ray vision (more like cancer vision), etc.

What do you do when you have SOOOO many ways to kick peoples' asses? Easy. You fly through hoops and and pick up cars. That's all you do in the game.

Level 1: fly through hoops
level 2: pick up cars within a laughably short amount of time. If you lose, you go back to level 1.
Level 3: Guess what you do? Take a wild guess. That's right. More hoops.
level 4: pick up a car.
level 5: More hoops.

I don't know what happens after that, besides more hoops and cars. The controls are awful. If you don't move the stick with 100% robotic accuracy, you take off in that direction at a sharp angle. Also, this game is glitchy. You don't even have to be touching a building to get stuck in it. It's just awful.

And forget about Grand Theft Auto training kids to be serial rapists/torture-killer Communazi terrorists like the media says. This game is so bad, it will drive anyone insane enough to kill.

Ban it before it's too late.

Oh, and this game isn't even a launch game. It was released in 1999. By that time, the N64 already had Mario 64, Mario Kart 64, Star Fox 64, and Ocarina of Time. The bar had been raised considerably. The developer didn't even try. They just hit rock bottom and dug. Dug deep into the bedrock.

This is the game that's making people kill. Ban it.

Holy cow! :rolleyes:

In the hands of someone properly trained, even hands can be lethal weapons. For evidence, I cite the entirety of Bruce Lee, Tony Jaa, Jet Li, and Jackie Chan's body of work. In this collection of movies, the threat that every man woman and child possess becomes unbearably clear. The course, as well as the problem, can easily be remedied.

I call for the banning all parts of the arm from the start of the elbow downward (hereafter referred to as hands) and the removal of all parts of the leg from the start of the knee downward. The aforementioned body parts should be outlawed. These 'dangerous objects' are not only devious and ever present weapons, but hands and legs have been shown to be involved in other illicit activities. With the removal of hands from our population, there will be a marked drop in shootings, thefts, arsons, murders, suicides, and pointless blogging. With the removal of feet criminals will have a much harder time running from authorities, car accidents will become non existent, and even jay walking will no longer be an issue.

This is only a brief summary of benefits which will come to any country who realizes the strength of this modest proposal.

I believe, earnestly, that hands and feet should be removed for public safety!

Hmm.

I've been known to walk around carrying a saw (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e4/Segilo_por_metalo.jpg)-derived shiv, a one and a half meter of chain, a long stick, and recently an axe with meter-long handle (birch, though). So far, however, I didn't cause anyone to start an axe/knife/chain control campaign, but sooner or later ya'll hear of me.

I would outlaw Hotwifes, they have aused moe death, mayhe, and destruction than anyother thing, ever!

Umm or is that just my one?

No, mine seems to be spreading a lot of dangerous nonsense as well. I'm all in favour of the ban.

Then I learn that to kill is to lose control, for who controls the dead?

Necromancers are the ones who control the dead. *nods*

Outlaw lawmakers!

Well, apparently Japan is moving to outlaw double-edged knives, which are evidently "much more lethal" than any other kind of knife (hmm, samurai swords were single edged, weren't they?).

As governments outlaw the more traditional methods of killing by banning the objects instead of working on the actual problem (the people who do this sort of thing), what common device do you want to get outlawed?

Let's say you pick a device, and because you theoretically did something that grabbed headlines, the government (and a few newspapers) would be up in arms ready to ban the device in question.

POST YOUR IDEAS

I just want a really cool nickname from the press. something dark and sinister, but kind of funny at the same time. like "The Ice Cream Truck Killer" or "The Bay Harbor Butcher" from Showtime's Dexter. Thats why you have to really be careful with your methods..I mean if I were to go to San Francisco or something and start killing people with one of those chrome buttplugs you can apparently get anywhere (a lethal short circuit?), Id be called something gay like "The Buttplug Bandit"...which really isnt the way I want to go, sounds all kinds of wrong. But it would still be funny to see people have a 5 day waiting period and a background check to buy their boyfriend a bedroom toy.

Ice Cream Truck Killer. Force people to eat ice cream until the brain freeze becomes unbearable and they off themselves. You would manage to outlaw ice cream as well as make people run away like they were on fire every time they heard an ice cream truck coming but you could also say lots of witty phrases like "I can't help it. I'm just cold blooded." to the media in the lead up to your trial.

If they want to decrease murder rates then instead of banning the means they should strike the cause.

A wise philosopher once pointed out that: ALL crimes, are commited by the living. You have been found guilty. The crime is life. The sentence is death.