NationStates Jolt Archive

I need to vent some rage, so i'm going to have a little rant here...

I hate this world. I hate my life. I think this is all some sick sadistic joke by some higher power. I'm sick of life, and afraid of dying. I fear and yet hate with a vengeance anyone who mocks me. I spent my school years being bullied, and even the teachers goaded them on. I want to kill everyone in this town, but I don't want to commit murder, as I feel guilty just stepping on a snail.

I'm sick and tired of the political system, with idiots telling me what I can and cannot do despite the fact they cannot point to Iraq on a map...

I hate every fabric of the british justice system, which seems to make it so criminals get off while those that defend themselves are locked away.

I want you, the world, and everything to BURN.

That aside, think you can cheer me up?

Edit-you may wish to view the 3rd page... HA HA HA! :D

I need to vent some rage, so i'm going to have a little rant here...

I hate this world. I hate my life. I think this is all some sick sadistic joke by some higher power. I'm sick of life, and afraid of dying. I fear and yet hate with a vengeance anyone who mocks me. I spent my school years being bullied, and even the teachers goaded them on. I want to kill everyone in this town, but I don't want to commit murder, as I feel guilty just stepping on a snail.

I'm sick and tired of the political system, with idiots telling me what I can and cannot do despite the fact they cannot point to Iraq on a map...

I hate every fabric of the british justice system, which seems to make it so criminals get off while those that defend themselves are locked away.

I want you, the world, and everything to BURN.

That aside, think you can cheer me up?

you want me, despite never meeting me personally, to burn and yet you want me to try to cheer you up?

what the fuck are you on and where can I get some?

its the long dark teatime of the soul?

maybe youll feel better tomorrow. sundays can be a bitch.

you want me, despite never meeting me personally, to burn and yet you want me to try to cheer you up?

what the fuck are you on and where can I get some?

I don't mean any of you personally, think of it as mankind as a whole. Besides, I am strange. I'm allowed to rant about people even if I don't mean it.

you want me, despite never meeting me personally, to burn and yet you want me to try to cheer you up?

what the fuck are you on and where can I get some?

What? It seems fair enough..

its the long dark teatime of the soul?

maybe youll feel better tomorrow. sundays can be a bitch.

Well I have been at work all weekend...

I don't mean any of you personally, think of it as mankind as a whole. Besides, I am strange. I'm allowed to rant about people even if I don't mean it.

:p
Did I say you couldn't rant?

and so far, you don't sound strange.

nope, not at all.

see, I agree with me.

see, I agree with me.

If you didn't, I would worry... :)

Get a blog.

Seriously though, how old are you?

Well I have been at work all weekend...

maybe you need to get laid then

penis :fluffle:

*giggle*

I hate this world.

I dare say it's mutual, emo boy.

I dare say it's mutual, emo boy.

You actually made me laugh. Well done.

*gives cheesecake*

I need to vent some rage, so i'm going to have a little rant here...

I hate this world. I hate my life. I think this is all some sick sadistic joke by some higher power. I'm sick of life, and afraid of dying. I fear and yet hate with a vengeance anyone who mocks me. I spent my school years being bullied, and even the teachers goaded them on. I want to kill everyone in this town, but I don't want to commit murder, as I feel guilty just stepping on a snail.

I'm sick and tired of the political system, with idiots telling me what I can and cannot do despite the fact they cannot point to Iraq on a map...

I hate every fabric of the british justice system, which seems to make it so criminals get off while those that defend themselves are locked away.

I want you, the world, and everything to BURN.

That aside, think you can cheer me up?
With all seriousness, there's nothing you can do to stop those things you've mentioned. I don't want to make you feel worse, but it's the truth. You sound like you have a lot of anger (Obviously). Try finding something that will take your mind off of those things. As for cheering up... (Here comes the fun part):
http://ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/funny-dog-pictures-brakes-fail-bulldog.jpg

You are not masturbating enough.

I dare say it's mutual, emo boy.

I'm no Emo. I'm 23 on tuesday, and i'm just pissed off right now. I'm sorry for blowing my top, but I've had a tough week. My stepdad is in hospital, i'm almost skint thanks to the worlds eco problems, and my internet connection keeps fucking with me.

You are not masturbating enough.

Or too much. :D

I'm no Emo. I'm 23 on tuesday, and i'm just pissed off right now. I'm sorry for blowing my top, but I've had a tough week. My stepdad is in hospital, i'm almost skint thanks to the worlds eco problems, and my internet connection keeps fucking with me.

Go sign up for the infantry, go SAS and get it out of your system.

Or too much. :D

Maybe you just need angry sex?

Angry sex is great BTW.

Have you considered jumping in mud? It really helps. *nod*

Maybe you just need angry sex?

Angry sex is great BTW.

Have you considered jumping in mud? It really helps. *nod*

Or angry sex in mud. :)

Or angry sex in mud. :)

This is why you are the master.

*is humbled*

Get a blog.

This is the funniest thing on NSG ever.

Go sign up for the infantry, go SAS and get it out of your system.

I don't kill. I only get the urge, but killing is against my personal morals. Yes i'm a walking hypocryte. shoot me.

This is the funniest thing on NSG ever.

Meh. I've herd better.

Have you considered jumping in mud? It really helps. *nod*

No, but I will consider that...

I don't kill. I only get the urge, but killing is against my personal morals. Yes i'm a walking hypocryte. shoot me.

*Shoots him* Nah, everyone has urges and impulses, but not doing them is what defines your morales. (Forgive the poor wording, I got up late and haven't had my full can of caffeine yet.* So you aren't really a hypocrite.

You actually made me laugh. Well done.

*gives cheesecake*

I'm afraid my hungover and thoroughly vomited out stomach (ah, Sundays...) cannot digest anything heavier than bran flakes today, but I appreciate the offer.

I'm no Emo.

This thread and the following belie that.

I'm 23 on tuesday, and i'm just pissed off right now. I'm sorry for blowing my top, but I've had a tough week. My stepdad is in hospital, i'm almost skint thanks to the worlds eco problems, and my internet connection keeps fucking with me.

Woe is thou, with all those first world problems of thine. Verily, my heart braketh for thee.

Get a blog.

Seriously though, how old are you?

Wait.

No..

Wilgrove?

Really?

Pot meet kettle!

*adds to TIN's rant*

I hate HAte HATE it when people quote the whole first post of a thread. Really, now. It takes up so much space, and my phone's screen is small, so I am scrolling down forever. We already know what you are responding to. We are reading the thread.

And come on, the second post quoting the first? As if I wouldn't know what your comments are reguarding. People who do this should be punnished. First time offenders: no posting for a week. Second time offenders, no internet for a week. Third time offenders, no internet period.

Now, to TIN, I suggest going to midwest USA. They may help you with your issues if you go the sex in mud route.

This is the funniest thing on NSG ever.

I love being ironic, or a hypocrite, sometimes you can't take me seriously.

Ah my work is done. Ready for a bombshell?

I WAS TESTING YOU!

I've done this before on NS - I'm glad to say you passed! In truth, things couldn't be going better for me! And i'm impressed with the hilarious repsponses recieved from other folks. Had you comforted me, you would have failed!

You did exactly what I hoped you would. Critisised me and told me to move on. For that, you each get a cookie!

*Hands out cookies*

This was bought to you by the TIN institute of weird tests.

Or too much. :D

If it hasn't fallen off, it's not too much.

If it hasn't fallen off, it's not too much.

What if it starts chaffing?

Get a blog.


The IRONY! It burns!

I'm not sure what's more sad. The fact that he felt the need to post this, or the fact that he thought we gave a fuck...

What if it starts chaffing?

You kiss it to make it all better.

Ah my work is done. Ready for a bombshell?

I WAS TESTING YOU!

I've done this before on NS - I'm glad to say you passed! In truth, things couldn't be going better for me! And i'm impressed with the hilarious repsponses recieved from other folks. Had you comforted me, you would have failed!

You did exactly what I hoped you would. Critisised me and told me to move on. For that, you each get a cookie!

*Hands out cookies*

This was bought to you by the TIN institute of weird tests.
I'm sure. *Eyes TIN suspiciously*
http://chisnell.com/ChizBlog/Lists/Photos/liar_liar_ver1.jpg

I'm not sure what's more sad. The fact that he felt the need to post this, or the fact that he thought we gave a fuck...

You havent looked up yet have you...?

:D

http://nyc.metblogs.com/archives/images/2007/01/Up-Arrow.jpg

You kiss it to make it all better.

Or have someone else kiss it.:D

I'm not sure what's more sad. The fact that he felt the need to post this, or the fact that he thought we gave a fuck...

Well we post in this thread, we must give a minuscule of fuck.

I'm sure. *Eyes TIN suspiciously*

ROFL. It amuses me even more that you now choose not to believe me. It's so easy to fake depression on the web.

You kiss it to make it all better.

If I could do that then I'd have real issues with my work/life balance.

You did exactly what I hoped you would. Critisised me and told me to move on. For that, you each get a cookie!


You're rewarding us for being sociopaths? Hmm...cool!

You're rewarding us for being sociopaths? Hmm...cool!

It's what I do. I reward the evil... :mp5:

ROFL. It amuses me even more that you now choose not to believe me. It's so easy to fake depression on the web.

Denial.
http://i171.photobucket.com/albums/u298/egyptianmago/denial.jpg
Hehe, he doesn't realize I'm only doing this to finally use all of these pictures. SMILEYS OFF! :D

You're rewarding us for being sociopaths? Hmm...cool!

Nah Sociopaths are basically serial killers who show no remorse for their crimes. We're just being dicks. :D

If I could do that then I'd have real issues with my work/life balance.

Not your own. Someone else's. Then he reciprocates. It's just the polite and charitable thing to do.

Denial.
http://i171.photobucket.com/albums/u298/egyptianmago/denial.jpg
Hehe, he doesn't realize I'm only doing this to finally use all of these pictures. SMILEYS OFF! :D

ROFLMAO! This confirms that Star Wars was an incest film!

Denial.

Meh. But I must admit these pics are fantastic. Got any more?

Nah Sociopaths are basically serial killers who show no remorse for their crimes. We're just being dicks. :D

True, sociopaths aren't able to control their anti-social tendencies. ;)

Comming soon - A thread where the TIN man eats babies! Will you believe that, or just call the men in white coats?

True, sociopaths aren't able to control their anti-social tendencies. ;)

True. God I loved Abnormal Psychology! :D

Not your own. Someone else's. Then he reciprocates. It's just the polite and charitable thing to do.

It's not gay if you don't touch willys. *Nods*

Comming soon - A thread where the TIN man eats babies! Will you believe that, or just call the men in white coats?

We could share a padded cell! I'll introduce you to my imaginary friend, Captain Bojangles.

*twitches*

It's not gay if you don't touch willys. *Nods*

You should be so lucky.

We could share a padded cell! I'll introduce you to my imaginary friend, Captain Bojangles.

*twitches*

How d'you do Cap'n? Just give your coats to Mr. Mistoffolees...

You should be so lucky.

Meh, Swedes don't do it for me anyway.

So, if we'd have been nice and everything, would our test failed, or would we get ice cream instead?

Cause either way, ego stroking would have been involved.

Meh, Swedes don't do it for me anyway.

How about carrots?

Meh, Swedes don't do it for me anyway.

Of course, since we won't. You make it seem as if you'd live up to our superior Scandinavian standards.

How about carrots?

Nah, they're too pointy, Rectal tear is not a fun thing. Cucumbers is what you want to use.

How about carrots?

Don't get me started on carrots. I'd end up talking about orange and this would lead me to the Dutch.

...

God I hate the Dutch.

So, if we'd have been nice and everything, would our test failed, or would we get ice cream instead?

Cause either way, ego stroking would have been involved.

If you'd been nice, i'd have shot you with a Toupee cannon! You'd all look like william shatner...

http://www.exposay.com/celebrity-photos/william-shatner-the-59th-annual-primetime-emmy-awards-arrivals-cBwDwm.jpg

MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Don't get me started on carrots. I'd end up talking about orange and this would lead me to the Dutch.

...

God I hate the Dutch.

Go on, tell me... you know you want to...

If you'd been nice, i'd have shot you with a Toupee cannon! You'd all look like william shatner...

http://www.exposay.com/celebrity-photos/william-shatner-the-59th-annual-primetime-emmy-awards-arrivals-cBwDwm.jpg

MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Am I the only one who thinks he really let himself go after Star Trek?

I WAS TESTING YOU!

That was stupid. I was seriously ready to say something nice. :(

Am I the only one who thinks he really let himself go after Star Trek?

Nope. Why d'ya think I keep mocking him! It's my running gag today...

Of course, since we won't. You make it seem as if you'd live up to our superior Scandinavian standards.

You do intimidate me, that's true.

Then again, I'm basing everything I know about the Swedes on 70's porno and one insane girl I met in Greece. I'm not sure she was telling the truth though, she wasn't blonde.

That was stupid. I was seriously ready to say something nice. :(

Don't worry, you can still have a cookie. Nice guys are alright in my book too. Try not to take anything I say seriously. :)

its the long dark teatime of the soul?

maybe youll feel better tomorrow. sundays can be a bitch.

Sundays are ok, but I don't like mondays.


http://youtube.com/watch?v=POl4vFp-5os

On a serious note, depression is a serious matter, and if you really feel like you say, you need to talk to someone, and not just to faceless people on the net. If you'd really like to harm others you're not in a good place.

What if it starts chaffing?

There is a whole aisle at the grocery and pharmacy for preventatives to such.

Am I the only one who thinks he really let himself go after Star Trek?

for gods sake he is 76 fucking years old. he looks fantastic for his age.

for gods sake he is 76 fucking years old. he looks fantastic for his age.

He's alittle chunky though.

for gods sake he is 76 fucking years old. he looks fantastic for his age.

Calm down bud... no ones supposed to REALLY be angry on this thread... :(

He's probably just trying a joke.

ROFLMAO! This confirms that Star Wars was an incest film!

1978 wants its epiphany back.
Google "Splinter of the Mind's Eye" by Alan Dean Foster.

Comming soon - A thread where the TIN man eats babies! Will you believe that, or just call the men in white coats?

You're not, by chance, the Bishop of Bath and Wells?

Meh. But I must admit these pics are fantastic. Got any more?

Plenty. *Evil grin*
http://media.g4tv.com/images/blog/2007/11/27/633317514784490542.jpg
http://media.g4tv.com/images/blog/2008/01/10/633355760324563016.jpg
http://geekadelphia.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/02/fail_dogs.jpg
http://media.tumblr.com/zcTqHiK8c8yu1g33fdGvz1gd_400.jpg
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/jcrew2/Denial.png
http://www.fivefourteen.net/motivational-posters/oh%20my%20god%2002.jpg
http://iputatextonimage.com/wp-content/omg-it-spins.jpg
I think that's enough for one post. *Prays to God that the moderators do not see this.*

There is a whole aisle at the grocery and pharmacy for preventatives to such.

Only one aisle? Your choice of lube suddenly seems to limited.

You're not, by chance, the Bishop of Bath and Wells?

No, but I do have a bathtub...

Plenty. *Evil grin*

*Snip*

*Prays to God that the moderators do not see this.*

ROFLMAO! Those are brill! But still don't believe me eh? Think what ye will...

Am I the only one who thinks he really let himself go after Star Trek?

He's only 77, give him a break.

He's only 77, give him a break.

Age is not an excuse for obesity.

Age is not an excuse for obesity.

I have to agree there.

He's alittle chunky though.

yeah he is. but for all i know hes on some drug that causes that. like jerry lewis is/was.

but still he is 76 fucking years old and has just been nominated for an emmy. the number of peole his age who can look as good and do equal work are few and far between.

You're young. Next question?

ROFLMAO! Those are brill! But still don't believe me eh? Think what ye will...

After the denial one, I just kept going as an excuse to put out more pics.;)

After the denial one, I just kept going as an excuse to put out more pics.;)

AH I see. In that case, carry on! More lunacy please! With two sugars!

AH I see. In that case, carry on! More lunacy please! With two sugars!

Lunacy you say?
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/cocknballz/Lunacy.jpg
http://borkweb.com/wp-content/upload/WTF_hax.jpg
http://bp3.blogger.com/_my5OGIJd4kM/RvgVInHbg-I/AAAAAAAAB1g/H3d8dVLt3vs/s1600-h/WTF-photos0015.jpg
http://ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/wtf-funny-dog-pictures-i-has-a-hotdog-but-i-eated-it.jpg
http://media.ebaumsworld.com/picture/cousin/WTF.png
http://i300.photobucket.com/albums/nn2/swertel/EpicFail.jpg
http://funny-pics.in/funny-pics/s1.jpg
:D

Great! your next subject - OWNED.

He's alittle chunky though.

A little critical of others, are we?

A little critical of others, are we?

I think we all are, once in a while.

A little critical of others, are we?

Ok fine, he does look great for 77 years old, beside the fact that he is chunky.

He'll have more hair than me, that's for sure. :( *Looks at his dad and dies alittle inside*

Only one aisle? Your choice of lube suddenly seems to limited.

I can't believe I had to bring it up. Besides -- that's at the grocery store. At the sex shops there's plenty more where that came from.

I can't believe I had to bring it up.

It's a strange world.

Great! your next subject - OWNED.
As in...
http://i214.photobucket.com/albums/cc146/TheChazMan1/FailDog.jpg
Owned by a tennis ball? Or...
http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa163/Aurora_Passion/PHAIL%20FILE%20%20Dx/fail-1.jpg
Owned by a cat?
Or...
http://www.gearfuse.com/wp-content/uploads/andrew/5_apr07/owned_BSOD_1.png
Owned by a computer?
Or...
http://www.forumspile.com/Owned/Owned-DogMaul.jpg
Just
http://www.birkoph.com/owned/owned-cat.jpg
Plain
http://moronland.net/media/pictures/ohcrap.jpg
Owned! or do you prefer...
http://cache.kotaku.com/assets/resources/2008/03/pwned.jpg
PWNED!

I want to see more "Epic Fail" *nod*

Get a blog.

Oh man, I lol'd.

Any of 'em are good.

No, but I do have a bathtub...

The Bishop of Bath and Wells (http://everything2.com/e2node/The%2520baby-eating%2520Bishop%2520of%2520Bath%2520and%2520Wells)

http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/2780/snowcatko9.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

The Bishop of Bath and Wells (http://everything2.com/e2node/The%2520baby-eating%2520Bishop%2520of%2520Bath%2520and%2520Wells)

Ah ha. I don't think I saw that episode.

I want to see more "Epic Fail" *nod*

http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y38/diyablo/epic-failure08.jpg
http://media.g4tv.com/images/blog/2007/12/06/633325462873135493.jpg
http://bp3.blogger.com/_okSIvb7zcQE/R0IfBaYu-DI/AAAAAAAAAr8/AIcau_ZYTVU/s1600-h/1stfail.jpg
http://www.lolpats.com/images/epic_fail.jpg
http://img151.imageshack.us/img151/6659/failhy3.jpg
http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/3932/gtfo3cr.jpg
http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/10/funny-picture-cat-fail.jpg
http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/santacat.jpg
I only have so many in my favorites, don't make me look for more.XD

http://img233.imageshack.us/img233/3244/bradymn6.jpg (http://imageshack.us)


http://img102.imageshack.us/img102/1919/coachwg2.jpg (http://imageshack.us)

Some more Epic fail.

http://images.bigfail.com/i/f/10/00/081.jpg

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a184/digitalforest/Funny/Epic_Fail.jpg

http://imgdump.info/data/media/46/Truck%20of%20Fail.jpg

http://www.mac-pac.org/temp/motivation/aimhigh.jpg

In b4 b& for pic spam.

In b4 b& for pic spam.

Don't you mean
http://img63.imageshack.us/img63/5739/ibtl27bf23xd0.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v260/Katganistan/moderatorkitteh.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v260/Katganistan/moderatorkitteh.jpg

http://planetrobot.net/caplog/b2EGraphics/2007/07-06/News_DoNotWant.jpg

out of curiosity, kat (heh heh), what is so bad with links to pics as long as they make sense?

It's not like they load the Jolt servers...

I love a mod with a sense of humor.

out of curiosity, kat (heh heh), what is so bad with links to pics as long as they make sense?

It's not like they load the Jolt servers...

http://ihasahotdog.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/funny-dog-pictures-cone-lol.jpg
http://www.rodgerharrison.com/images/Humor/cat/LaughingCat.jpg

out of curiosity, kat (heh heh), what is so bad with links to pics as long as they make sense?

It's not like they load the Jolt servers...
If this were a serious discussion, I would have smacked a few people about with some leftover lasagna. Trying to debate when people are just tossing up images is annoying as hell.

Given that this thread wasn't serious to begin with, what's the harm?
NOTE: this does NOT mean "clog general with picture spam threads."

I love a mod with a sense of humor.

I aims to please.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v260/Katganistan/moderatorkitteh.jpg

Pervert! :eek: I am never having boxers or naked day at my house again!

Pervert! :eek: I am never having boxers or naked day at my house again!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Rips hair out*

If this were a serious discussion, I would have smacked a few people about with some leftover lasagna. Trying to debate when people are just tossing up images is annoying as hell.

Given that this thread wasn't serious to begin with, what's the harm?
NOTE: this does NOT mean "clog general with picture spam threads."


Because we ALL know what happens when too many pictures go into general...
http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/06/halp-stuck-in-crevass1.jpg

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Rips hair out*

Why are you...Dis..Appointed...
http://i168.photobucket.com/albums/u163/kpruss/pervert.jpg

Scary man... just scary.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Rips hair out*

http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/captioning-blooper.jpg?w=400&h=300

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v260/Katganistan/moderatorkitteh.jpg

:hail::hail::hail::hail::hail:

:hail::hail::hail::hail::hail:

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/99/290873481_5d7593ff7f_m.jpg

http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/captioning-blooper.jpg?w=400&h=300

ROFLMAO! Oh my GOD! *dies laughing*

http://www.tripsmarter.com/travelcommunity/attachments/pcb-spring-break/1062d1106964850-club-la-vela-vip-cards-party-cards-owned.jpg

I want to know which one of you on NSG was the applicant mentioned in this letter.

http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/jobapplication.jpg?w=500&h=634

ROFLMAO! Oh my GOD! *dies laughing*

http://wannasmile.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/oh-my-god-look-at-those-gas-prices-funny-motovatio.jpg

http://wannasmile.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/oh-my-god-look-at-those-gas-prices-funny-motovatio.jpg

Quick, fill up while we can afford it! :eek:

I bet there was much siphoning that night-and several flying cars...

I need to vent some rage, so i'm going to have a little rant here...

I hate this world. I hate my life. I think this is all some sick sadistic joke by some higher power. I'm sick of life, and afraid of dying. I fear and yet hate with a vengeance anyone who mocks me. I spent my school years being bullied, and even the teachers goaded them on. I want to kill everyone in this town, but I don't want to commit murder, as I feel guilty just stepping on a snail.

I'm sick and tired of the political system, with idiots telling me what I can and cannot do despite the fact they cannot point to Iraq on a map...

I hate every fabric of the british justice system, which seems to make it so criminals get off while those that defend themselves are locked away.

I want you, the world, and everything to BURN.

That aside, think you can cheer me up?

Edit-you may wish to view the 3rd page... HA HA HA! :D

Well, here's my RANT...

<RANT>So, I will preface this with the statement that I hate everything about Apple.

A technogeek at the office keept going on and on about how great his IPhone is. I endure this for months. Most of this time I mock him for buying it the week before they drop the price 100 bucks.

My old Motorola finally breaks after 3 years of abuse. I had a BBerry for work and it sucked. I didn't want a phone with moving parts because I would end up breaking that shit. So...I finally break down and buy an IPhone.

This seemed like a good Idea until it breaks 4 months later. I take it to AT&T but they can't do anything so I am forced to go to something called an Apple Store.

I have to drive into Tysons Corner the day before the 4th (around rush hour) and go to the mall (a place I despise for it's pretentiousness).

I go into the Apple store, which I can only describe as a cross between an Abercrombie & Fitch commercial and a San Francisco Pride festival. It is a good bet I was the first person to ever walk in there wearing a Viking Tactics shirt.

I tell one of the 3,472 metro-sexual employees about my broken phone. They say I have to make an appointment at something called a Genius Bar (read Blue Oyster Bar). I have to do this online as the Apple store is so advanced I just can't walk three feet away and say " Hey my phone is broke".

No. It's not that easy. I have to fill out an online form and then the computer tells me when I can go to the Genius Bar and get my shit fixed. Two fucking hours! This is because you can make an appointment from your mom's basement to come in and talk to some people who have the same problem with social interaction as you.

I go and stand by the techs (3 out of 5,435 employees) and wait as they call off name after name of people to busy putting gel in their hair to make it to their appointment. I ask one of the employees (many of whom approach me and ask if they can sell me something...I mean help me) if I can take the spot of one of the aforementioned non-appointment making hair gel metro-sexuals.

No, I have to wait two fucking hours in a mall I hate in a store I hate upstairs from an Auntie Ann's Pretzel place which is fucking closed for repairs.

I finally get a new phone and go on my way.

My problem is, after spending so much time in the Apple Store, the only way I can regain my manhood is to go kill a Grizzly bear with an e-tool and sleep in its still warm corpse overnight.</RANT>

Feel better?

Well, here's my RANT...

<RANT>So, I will preface this with the statement that I hate everything about Apple.

A technogeek at the office keept going on and on about how great his IPhone is. I endure this for months. Most of this time I mock him for buying it the week before they drop the price 100 bucks.

My old Motorola finally breaks after 3 years of abuse. I had a BBerry for work and it sucked. I didn't want a phone with moving parts because I would end up breaking that shit. So...I finally break down and buy an IPhone.

This seemed like a good Idea until it breaks 4 months later. I take it to AT&T but they can't do anything so I am forced to go to something called an Apple Store.

I have to drive into Tysons Corner the day before the 4th (around rush hour) and go to the mall (a place I despise for it's pretentiousness).

I go into the Apple store, which I can only describe as a cross between an Abercrombie & Fitch commercial and a San Francisco Pride festival. It is a good bet I was the first person to ever walk in there wearing a Viking Tactics shirt.

I tell one of the 3,472 metro-sexual employees about my broken phone. They say I have to make an appointment at something called a Genius Bar (read Blue Oyster Bar). I have to do this online as the Apple store is so advanced I just can't walk three feet away and say " Hey my phone is broke".

No. It's not that easy. I have to fill out an online form and then the computer tells me when I can go to the Genius Bar and get my shit fixed. Two fucking hours! This is because you can make an appointment from your mom's basement to come in and talk to some people who have the same problem with social interaction as you.

I go and stand by the techs (3 out of 5,435 employees) and wait as they call off name after name of people to busy putting gel in their hair to make it to their appointment. I ask one of the employees (many of whom approach me and ask if they can sell me something...I mean help me) if I can take the spot of one of the aforementioned non-appointment making hair gel metro-sexuals.

No, I have to wait two fucking hours in a mall I hate in a store I hate upstairs from an Auntie Ann's Pretzel place which is fucking closed for repairs.

I finally get a new phone and go on my way.

My problem is, after spending so much time in the Apple Store, the only way I can regain my manhood is to go kill a Grizzly bear with an e-tool and sleep in its still warm corpse overnight.</RANT>

*Laughs at apple user*

*Laughs at apple user*

*Laughs at person laughing at apple user*

*Laughs at person laughing at apple user*

*Laughs at person laughing at person laughing at apple user*


...


Wait a minute, WHAT?

*Laughs at person laughing at person laughing at apple user*


...


Wait a minute, WHAT?

You've gone cross-eyed! (http://img.hexus.net/v2/gaming/screenshots/crosseyed.jpg)

Quick, fill up while we can afford it! :eek:

too late... the plane got it all... :(

Only one aisle? Your choice of lube suddenly seems to limited.

lube? there are other things that can also be used... all one needs is a bit of... Imagination. :D

Finally, a thread that reminds me of the old(er) days.

*hands TIN a box of dildos*

http://tin.justgotowned.com/

*Laughs at apple user*

Hey! Apple is the master race. Nobody can stop it's godliness.

http://tin.justgotowned.com/

Me like very much.

Me like very much.

I thought it was kinda cool. You can put whoever's name you want in front of the .gotowned.com and it will work. :)

I thought it was kinda cool. You can put whoever's name you want in front of the .gotowned.com and it will work. :)

Nice. I wanna have a go!

http://lunatic.goofballs.justgotowned.com/

:D

Well, here's my RANT...

<RANT>So, I will preface this with the statement that I hate everything about Apple.

...

My problem is, after spending so much time in the Apple Store, the only way I can regain my manhood is to go kill a Grizzly bear with an e-tool and sleep in its still warm corpse overnight.</RANT>

no dude, your problem is, you need to take up one of those offers to extend your penis. if it was even an inch long, being inside an apple store wouldn't take away your 'manhood', would it?

Hey! Apple is the master race. Nobody can stop it's godliness.

http://i283.photobucket.com/albums/kk294/Tombombadil9/laugh_up_one__s_sleeve_by_DavedeHaa.gif