NationStates Jolt Archive

I wanted to start a thread on what we have learned from watching movies. Be it how to Macgyver together a computer out of tin-foil and bubblegum, or stop bullets with a cast-iron door from an old wood stove, I think we all have taken something from the movies.

If you add a post about something you learned from the movies, please point out what movie you are referring to :)

I'll start this off....

So I was watching TV last night and ran across one of the local tv stations showing the 1980's version of a 9/11 movie, "RED DAWN".

Now I remember watching this as an elementary aged kid in the theaters with my uncle and what scared the hell out of me as a kid, made me chuckle as an adult. It also provided some of the most insightful solutions to problems I may encounter in life. For instance:

* I learned the best method of dealing with bad harvests and famine is launching an ambitious, full scale invasion of your enemy's home country thousands of miles away from your own. (now that I mention it, ironically this seems to be a similar plot of many NS RPs...hummmm...)

* I learned that when foreign shock troopers attack the US, their first priority won't be on obvious targets like military bases, big cities, the power grid, communications or infrastructure. It is wiping out a small Colorado town's high school history class.

* I learned that High School kids from the mid-west, without any guidance or training, can utterly defeat a highly trained soldiers.

* I learned that high schools in Colorado offered mandatory classes in the operation and maintenance of Warsaw Pact small arms.

* I learned that when foreign soldiers are standing guard inside a store, they will stand as far away from customers as possible and not investigate when the locals start to yell at each other.

* I learned that general stores in Colorado stock lots of rifles and RPGs, and keep lists of all private gun owners.

* I learned that Russian soldiers and the Star Wars Storm Troopers are both sent to the Gomer Pyle Military School of Marksmanship.

* I learned that the US military sends their radar operators to the Gomer Pyle Military Academy as they find it easy to mistake a full scale aerial assault for a flock of harmless geese.

* I learned that when you invade one of the coldest and most inhospitable winter climates in the U.S., you must assign troops from a tropical country who have never even seen snow.

* I learned that shock troops are so well trained by the Gomer Pyle Military Academy, they will take a Colt .45 from a dead body (as a trophy) and then jam it into their pants with the safety off and their finger near the trigger.

* I learned that if you are being chased by a heavily armed assault helicopter, you can easily evade and outrun the helicopter on horseback.

* I learned that the first thing you do after ejecting out of your F-15 is to curl up and take a nap.

* I learned that no other country will help the U.S if it is invaded by the Russians. (oh wait...)

* I learned that one must be named "Snake" to kill a helicopters with an automatic rifle.

So what movie have you learned something from?

I wanted to start a thread on what we have learned from watching movies. Be it how to Macgyver together a computer out of tin-foil and bubblegum, or stop bullets with a cast-iron door from an old wood stove, I think we all have taken something from the movies.

I'll start this off....

So I was watching TV last night and ran across one of the local tv stations showing the 1980's version of a 9/11 movie, "RED DAWN".

Now I remember watching this as an elementary aged kid in the theaters with my uncle and what scared the hell out of me as a kid, made me chuckle as an adult. It also provided some of the most insightful solutions to problems I may encounter in life. For instance:

* I learned the best method of dealing with bad harvests and famine is launching an ambitious, full scale invasion of your enemy's home country thousands of miles away from your own. (now that I mention it, ironically this seems to be a similar plot of many NS RPs...hummmm...)

* I learned that when foreign shock troopers attack the US, their first priority won't be on obvious targets like military bases, big cities, the power grid, communications or infrastructure. It is wiping out a small Colorado town's high school history class.

* I learned that High School kids from the mid-west, without any guidance or training, can utterly defeat a highly trained soldiers.

* I learned that high schools in Colorado offered mandatory classes in the operation and maintenance of Warsaw Pact small arms.

* I learned that when foreign soldiers are standing guard inside a store, they will stand as far away from customers as possible and not investigate when the locals start to yell at each other.

* I learned that general stores in Colorado stock lots of rifles and RPGs, and keep lists of all private gun owners.

* I learned that Russian soldiers and the Star Wars Storm Troopers are both sent to the Gomer Pyle Military School of Marksmanship.

* I learned that the US military sends their radar operators to the Gomer Pyle Military Academy as they find it easy to mistake a full scale aerial assault for a flock of harmless geese.

* I learned that when you invade one of the coldest and most inhospitable winter climates in the U.S., you must assign troops from a tropical country who have never even seen snow.

* I learned that shock troops are so well trained by the Gomer Pyle Military Academy, they will take a Colt .45 from a dead body (as a trophy) and then jam it into their pants with the safety off and their finger near the trigger.

* I learned that if you are being chased by a heavily armed assault helicopter, you can easily evade and outrun the helicopter on horseback.

* I learned that the first thing you do after ejecting out of you F-15 is to curl up and take a nap.

* I learned that no other country will help the U.S if it is invaded by the Russians. (oh wait...)

* I learned that one must be named "Snake" to kill a helicopters with an automatic rifle.

So what movie have you learned something from?
* I learned that one must be named "Snake" to kill a helicopters with an automatic rifle.
Snake
Snake? Snake?!? SNAAAAAAKE!!!

I learned that doing outrageous things to make people you like notice you, is usually painfully awkward, and not romantic at all. Sigh, Neesika, I love you...

I learned that, given the slightest opportunity, cars will blow up.

I learned that the gun is good, and the penis is evil. All hail Zardoz!

I learned that, given the slightest opportunity, cars will blow up.

*Stretches* Just let me lean up against this car... *BOOM!*

I learned that invading aliens are too stupid to check and see if they can inhabit earth before they launch their invasion.

From the Fast and Furious:

* I learned it doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile in a quarter mile race....winning is winning. (though I question how one would loose by a mile in a quarter mile run)

* I learned that in a street race of only a few blocks, car can hit 180MPH and take over two minutes to reach the finish line.

* I learned that truck drivers pack heat and are willing to shoot up their own $80- $150,000 tractor.

* I learned that dropping $100,000 in parts into a burnt out wreak of a car will make it as fast as a $100,000 supercar.

* I learned that Asians have an affinity to crotch rockets and sub-machine guns.

* I learned a tuner car can keep up with a crotch rocket.

* I learned after frying your pistons, you can drive your car normally with out any hit of engine problems.

i learn there Oil in New York

From the docu-movies like Blair Witch and Cloverfield I learned that no one knows how to hold a damn camera on the action.

(I cheered when the camera guy in Cloverfield was made a monster-snack)

i learnt (though it isn't a movie) from Freedom Fighters that a plumber can beat the whole Soviet army almost single-handedly

* I learned that High School kids from the mid-west, without any guidance or training, can utterly defeat a highly trained soldiers.

Colorado isn't in the Midwest

From the docu-movies like Blair Witch and Cloverfield I learned that no one knows how to hold a damn camera on the action.

(I cheered when the camera guy in Cloverfield was made a monster-snack)

building on those two classics... :rolleyes:
Blair Witch
* I learned that the best way to go hiking in the woods is to not take someone who knows the territory.

* Map Reading Skills are hightly over-rated.

* A Compass is NOT necessary when going into wilderness you never been in before.

* if the leader gets you lost, take command by getting rid of the map and then bitch and moan to the leader about getting you lost.

* Radios are never available to hikers.

* The best way to deal with strange noises in the woods is to run screaming in the dark with little to no lights.

* Food? who needs food!

Cloverfield
* Cameras now days are
1) impervious to damage (it was chewed up, blown up, dropped too many times to count)
2) comes with low light and thermal features
3) have tapes are longer than 12 hours
4) mics soo good that they can filter out loud surrounding sounds

* Dorky, reluctant Cameramen are so devoted to their job that...
1) they would retreive the camera no matter where they are.
2) run while keeping the camera pointed forwards
3) refuse to use camera as a weapon when being attacked

* Military people charged with getting civilians away from danger will fly along side said danger in a slow leasurly manner.

* Military people are soo observant that they noticed the girl with the HUGE BITE in her sholder and back loong before she says "guys... I don't feel so good."

* Military people are soo good at their jobs that they would send a group of civilians out to rescue one person without accompaying them during a violent crisis.

* Monsters that can overwhelm military units out in the streets cannot defeat four people armed with one lead pipe in the dark subway tunnels.

From Independence Day I learned that:

Only the US has people with the intelligence and initiative to conquer the alien invaders. If you're from Israel, Saudi Arabia, Russia, France, the UK or any other country, you'll wait for the US to tell you how to do it.

An alcoholic redneck will save the day.

Jeff Goldblum is actually pretty hot.

From Independence Day I learned that:

Only the US has people with the intelligence and initiative to conquer the alien invaders. If you're from Israel, Saudi Arabia, Russia, France, the UK or any other country, you'll wait for the US to tell you how to do it.

An alcoholic redneck will save the day.

Jeff Goldblum is actually pretty hot.

and let's not forget the obvious ones...

an APPLE MAC laptop will effortlessly connect wirelessly with an alien computer system

aliens will stare at a nuclear missle and not do anything.

you can train people to pilot the most advanced aircraft in one easy lession.

you can train people to pilot the most advanced aircraft in one easy lession.

God bless the idiot proof Air Force.

Chuck Norris evidently has grenades that can make entire buildings explode.

Also, when killing some, its always best to use a cheesy one liner. See: Mercenary for Justice. Steven Seagal has a lot of those moments.

and let's not forget the obvious ones...

an APPLE MAC laptop will effortlessly connect wirelessly with an alien computer system

aliens will stare at a nuclear missle and not do anything.

you can train people to pilot the most advanced aircraft in one easy lession.

Oh yes.

and:

A stripper with a child and a dog will be able to outrun a fire in a tunnel, drive heavy equipment and convince people to follow her to a Marine Base.

Aliens will attack every country in the world simultaneously and not immediately follow through with a ground force attack, leaving humans enough time to find a solution.

Alien mother ships are really slow.

Cloverfield
* Cameras now days are
1) impervious to damage (it was chewed up, blown up, dropped too many times to count)
2) comes with low light and thermal features
3) have tapes are longer than 12 hours
4) mics soo good that they can filter out loud surrounding sounds

* Dorky, reluctant Cameramen are so devoted to their job that...
1) they would retreive the camera no matter where they are.
2) run while keeping the camera pointed forwards
3) refuse to use camera as a weapon when being attacked

* Military people charged with getting civilians away from danger will fly along side said danger in a slow leasurly manner.

* Military people are soo observant that they noticed the girl with the HUGE BITE in her sholder and back loong before she says "guys... I don't feel so good."

* Military people are soo good at their jobs that they would send a group of civilians out to rescue one person without accompaying them during a violent crisis.

* Monsters that can overwhelm military units out in the streets cannot defeat four people armed with one lead pipe in the dark subway tunnels.


good i don't need to waste money and hire it out now

From Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull:

Climbing inside a fridge saves you from a nuclear blast, and you can get out of the fridge 1 mile or so away from a gigantic mushroom cloud and not even get slightly sick!

Wars of the World

Have your shots before attacking earth

From Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull:

Climbing inside a fridge saves you from a nuclear blast, and you can get out of the fridge 1 mile or so away from a gigantic mushroom cloud and not even get slightly sick!

You can actually get out of a 1950s fridge?

I learned:

A 65 year old man can get up and walk away from a crash with nary a bruise.

A young man, upon learning that he's the bastard son of an archaeology professor who left his mother at the altar, accepts this happily.

The woman who was left at the altar reconciles with the man who abandoned her after a five minute exchange of words.

The CIA and the KGB are both staffed by bumbling morons who are easily defeated by an old man, a middle aged woman and a kid who barely graduated from high school.

You can actually get out of a 1950s fridge?

I learned:

A 65 year old man can get up and walk away from a crash with nary a bruise.

A young man, upon learning that he's the bastard son of an archaeology professor who left his mother at the altar, accepts this happily.

The woman who was left at the altar reconciles with the man who abandoned her after a five minute exchange of words.

The CIA and the KGB are both staffed by bumbling morons who are easily defeated by an old man, a middle aged woman and a kid who barely graduated from high school.
That part is believable.:D

Oh! Another one, all people with military weapons (at least from the 1980s) will have 10000 round magazines, thus never having to reload.

Oh! Another one, all people with military weapons (at least from the 1980s) will have 10000 round magazines, thus never having to reload.

A direct descendent of the 1950s western where the 6-chamber revolver can easily shoot 200-300 bullets.

I also learned from many movies that a man with a pistol in a speeding car, weaving back and forth, driving over bumps can hit what he aims at in another speeding car, weaving back and forth driving over bumps.

James Bond:

A man with 1 pistol can easily defeat hundreds of henchmen, all armed to the teeth with machine, rockets etc

Kairo (Pulse for you American Viewers)
this will include both versions. red = Japanese Black=American Blue = Both
* forget what you said just minutes before.
(We must stick together. I'll never leave you alone. now wait here while I run back into the building to get some gas.)

* when you hear a radio broadcast to toss away your cell phone because that's how the invaders are getting to people, that tells you to take out your cell phone and stare at it while it's searching for a signal.

* Red tape prevents Ghosts from entering your room.

* When Ghosts attack and killl everyone on a plane, that causes the engines to catch on fire.

* Ghosts that can travel through cell phones and computer lan lines cannot travel through radio waves nor television broadcasts.

* two people can pilot and maintain a large ocean going frieghter.

an APPLE MAC laptop will effortlessly connect wirelessly with an alien computer system
Admit it! It's because an APPLE MAC is an alien computer system!!

I also learned from many movies that a man with a pistol in a speeding car, weaving back and forth, driving over bumps can hit what he aims at in another speeding car, weaving back and forth driving over bumps.

dam i wish i could do that in GTA4

Again from James Bond:

If you wanna kill someone, you don't shoot them, you lock them in a room that slowly fills with gas or tie them up and slowly lower them into acid, don't confiscate their gadgets and tell them your entire plan.

Again from James Bond:

If you wanna kill someone, you don't shoot them, you lock them in a room that slowly fills with gas or tie them up and slowly lower them into acid, don't confiscate their gadgets and tell them your entire plan.

If they don't escape and kill you, they'll die of boredom.

The movie Stop-Loss taught me that if you are recalled to action and go AWOL, the military will forget and forgive your trespass if you change you mind and decide many weeks later you will accept redeployment.

The movie The Mist taught me:

* that when stressed out, people will believe in and follow the most fundamental and hypocritical christian.

* that creatures from other dimensions or worlds are perfectly compatible with earth biology and can use animal life here as food.

* that the first time some brave SOB tries to 'prove' himself, he will be eaten by the monster quickly there after.

* that the TBG (token black guy) will die at some point in the movie.

* that hiding out inside of a store with a wall made out of plate glass it a reasonable and logical strong hold against inter-dimensional monsters.

* that lighter-fluid soaked mops make great weapons inside a grocery store with hanging ceilings.

* that despite multiple eye witnesses describing the monsters and being visibly frightened, most everyone will laugh at them as if they were joking.

* that you shouldn't commit suicide until it's very obvious that you are going to be a scooby-snack for a monster in the imminent future.

The movie Hunt For Red October taught me:

* that when under torpedo attack, it's perfectly acceptable to charge into the torpedoes path.

* that the best way to make a crew want to get off a nuclear submarine is to fake a reactor core breach.

* that some things in a nuclear missile bay don't react well to bullets.

* that after having a torpedo attack made on the submarine, the crew would accept the logical answer that the navy was just conducting an exercise.

* that when defecting, it's customary to leave a letter with a high-level government official stating exactly what you plan to do and how you plan to do it.

* that an akula class submarine can run at 110% on their reactor core for hours on end without suffering a reactor accident.

* that when confronted by an enemy submarine, the best course of action is to surface the ship and have a look around through your periscope.

The movie Southland Tales taught me:

* that movie writers obviously can smoke weed and create a plot to a movie, and movie producers do enough coke that movie plots like this seem reasonable.

* some movies must have been made just for stoners.


Now for something completely different....

The TV Show Breaking Bad taught me:

* if I get cancer, the best way to make money for my family is to bake up some meth

* the preferred way of cooking meth is in your underwear.

* when going into the drug trade, it's always best to find a burned out low-level ex-student of yours to get you introduced into the drug world.

* that your highly trained DEA brother-in-law would never suspect you, a high school chemistry teacher with extremely odd behavior lately, of creating meth on the side.

* that cutting your hair bald instantly changes you from a weak-willed person into a no-bullshit tough guy.

You Don't Mess with the Zohan taught me that Israeli commandos have dreams too.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas showed me the ugly side of LSD, Cocain, Uppers, Downers, etc...

The Onion Movie taught me how stupid America is becoming

In the Mist you don't commit suicide because the army turns up 5 seconds later.

What I learned from Get Smart:

*KAOS is very much still active

*Kissing a guy is a great distractor

*Shoe Phone technology is severely lacking behind other forms of communication

*The US Government has no idea what it's doing

What I learned from Taxi Driver:

*Never ride a cab

The movie The Mist taught me:

* that when stressed out, people will believe in and follow the most fundamental and hypocritical christian.

* that creatures from other dimensions or worlds are perfectly compatible with earth biology and can use animal life here as food.

* that the first time some brave SOB tries to 'prove' himself, he will be eaten by the monster quickly there after.

* that the TBG (token black guy) will die at some point in the movie.

* that hiding out inside of a store with a wall made out of plate glass it a reasonable and logical strong hold against inter-dimensional monsters.

* that lighter-fluid soaked mops make great weapons inside a grocery store with hanging ceilings.

* that despite multiple eye witnesses describing the monsters and being visibly frightened, most everyone will laugh at them as if they were joking.

* that you shouldn't commit suicide until it's very obvious that you are going to be a scooby-snack for a monster in the imminent future.
To be honest... they didn't go to the store to hide, they were there when everything happened.

oh and Lawyers would rather choose to believe that the whole town is against you than to take a couple of steps to see the 'evidence' they want you to see.

The movie Fargo taught me:

*People from Minnesota and North Dakota are either extremely nice or ruthless murderers

*The phrase 'Oh Yeah?' is the most commonly used phrase

*In-Laws suck

*Wood Chippers were not designed for cramming people into them

*Minnesota State Troopers wear purple uniforms (gay)

The movie Earth Star Voyager (yeah..that dates me) taught me that

it's perfectly logical to staff an entire trillion dollar space ship bound for a distant world with an entire crew under the age of 21.

not having any sort of weapons on a ship (main weapons or hand weapons) headed for deep space, where no ship has ever gone, is perfectly logical.

a ship with over 200 teenagers away from their parents or any authority figures would never have any couple hook up.

large, powerful rail-guns are easy to make out of bailing wire and spare parts from the laundry room.

pointing big dish-antenna shaped mirrors towards the sun will result in solar lasers, easily capable of destroying a heavily armored and shielded warship.

200 years in the future, Cessna aircraft bodies will be in perfect shape, sitting in a scrap yard.

scalping is an acceptable way to prove you have won a fight.


The movie Spiderman taught me that

if you accidentally sling webbing on a lunch tray, cause a sceen and then drag the tray through the lunch room in view of the entire student body, no one would link you and the new superhero, Spiderman, as the same person.

spiders are prone to slink down a line of webbing and bite people for no reason.

getting bit by a genetically enhanced spider instantly makes your muscles tone up in one night.

when a student points out your prized super-spider is missing, you don't excuse yourself and investigate immediately where said spider is.

when you hear about the missing spider, and then are bitten by a spider out of no where, it's perfectly logical to ignore the bite and not inform any of the staff of what just happened. Watching said spider scuttle under a table out of sight and then walking away without saying anything is normal behavior.

Cloverfield taught me

explosions miles and miles away will allow you to see the fireball and hear the blast at the same time

monsters can take multiple tank, missile, and even GBU bombs and survive without even a scratch.

monsters of unknown origin like to eat people for food.

skyscrapers can lean on each other and not fall down.


Signs taught me

aliens advanced enough to fly through the galaxy in space ships, need to make crop circles in order to co-ordinate and find their way around earth.

books by little known scientists accurately describe alien actions to a 'T'.

when aliens invade, even though they can jump +10 feet into the air, they can't kick down a pantry or cellar door.

when invading a planet, there is no need for things like phasers or ray guns.

when water is like acid to an alien, it's idea of a perfect invadeable world is one where the surface is over 75% water, and the people they are harvesting are over 80% water.

baby monitors are useful for picking up alien communications, that are obviously broadcasting in the open and unencrypted.

I have learned from various movies that:

when bullets strike metal, they spark and flash.

handgun and rifle rounds will make a car explode violently.

you can jump through any window and walk away without any major cuts.

someone in an action movie will always be shot, thrown, kick, or fall into or onto glass, be it a window, mirror, bottle or skylight.

cigarettes can ignite gasoline when tossed or dropped onto the liquid.

Every single henchman employed by a villain has poor aim with any type of weapon, and can unload an entire clip of ammunition at the good guy and hit nothing.

Two men can have a fistfight, hitting each other in the face and about the head with bare fists and there will be no broken phalanges or jaws or concussions and after half an hour they will both be standing.

i have learned from scifi channel original movies that every forest--even those on distant planets--contain angry grizzly bears.

Two men can have a fistfight, hitting each other in the face and about the head with bare fists and there will be no broken phalanges or jaws or concussions and after half an hour they will both be standing.

they can be tortured all day ala the lethal weapon movies and its less to them than an annoying gnat bite is to me.

From James Bond: violence is foreplay.

We Chinese had them while you barbarians were recovering from Rome's collapse.

To defeat invading martians, we need to play bad music really loudly

From just about every action movie:

-Any man with no training whatsoever can easily overpower highly trained crack-commandos, but that women can do nothing but scream and mess things up by hitting you instead of the bad guy when you're trying to rescue them.

-Any time is a good time for sex, even if there are highly trained operatives progressively killing people throughout the building.

-People will ignore explosives going off on the ground floor because it sounds like a door slamming/bump.

Things I learnt from Home Alone:

-Thieves will attempt to rob a house with no weapons, no disguises and no real plan.

-a small ten year old boy can easily overpower said thieves by setting up hilarious traps throughout the house.

-after receiving 3rd degree burns on one's hand from a doorknob, one will persevere in attempt to rob house, instead of robbing house next door which is also empty because they are masochists deep down inside.

-You don't need to call the police when you are robbed. Just use your kids' toys to stop the thieves.

-Career thieves are so stupid that they can be outwitted by a primary schooler.

-A pizza boy will not call the police after hearing someone apparently attempt to shoot at them.

- If the Token Black Guy happens to be Keith David, not only will he not die first, but he will have a tremendously good chance of making it to the end of the film. Therefore if you find yourself in a horror movie situation, try to be good friends with the guy who looks and talks like Keith David and stick around him at all times.

From most sci fi movies.

There are different languages on Earth requiring translaters, but in space everyone speaks English.

All aliens look like a variation of human, most of them extremely hot.

If they don't look human they are - 1. so cute you want to cuddle them. or 2. so gross they must be evil.

From most sci fi movies.

There are different languages on Earth requiring translaters, but in space everyone speaks English.

All aliens look like a variation of human, most of them extremely hot.

If they don't look human they are - 1. so cute you want to cuddle them. or 2. so gross they must be evil.

and even though they obviously have a completely different physiology, biology, chemisty, evolutionary path, etc. they not only enjoy similar sexual practices but you can have babies with them too.

Signs taught me

when water is like acid to an alien, it's idea of a perfect invadeable world is one where the surface is over 75% water, and the people they are harvesting are over 80% water.Also, aliens are always naked.

I learned that, guys can make junker ships that can complete races in the least amount of measurement.

The movies taught me to never watch a film in which Eddie Murphy plays a major character. Unless the film happens to be Shrek.

The movies taught me to never watch a film in which Eddie Murphy plays a major character. Unless the film happens to be Shrek.

ohmygod you didnt learn this by going to see "meet dave" did you?

ohmygod you didnt learn this by going to see "meet dave" did you?

Don't. Mention. That. Film. *rocks back and forth*

From The Village:

* I have learned that hundreds of people can be convinced never to explore outside of their own little village, and no one ever has wanderlust.

* That Bryce Dallas Howard is hot, and I wouldn't mind having her as a wife.

From Triple X

* I learned that while high-powered snowmobiles going down hill at full throttle can't outrun an avalanche, a guy weighing about 180 on a snowboard can.

* I learned never to trust a Russian police officer.

* I learned nerve gas that breaks down into harmless components when exposed to water, can kill a human which is made of over 80% water.

From Die Hard

* I learned throwing a body onto and then shooting up a police cruiser with a sub-machine gun is the best way to get a patrol officer's attention. Said patrol man will also forgive you for shooting at him and give you a big hug later.

* I learned C4 Detonators only need to be stuck into the C4 and be dropped from a great height to go off. No electricity needed.

* I learned when driving an Armored Personnel Carrier, it's best to aim for the stairs that have hand rails, which will conveniently get you stuck.

* I learned that police sharp shooters will watch two terrorists shoot multiple anti-tank missiles into the SWAT team's APC and not kill said terrorists.

* I learned never to take my shoes off in an LA high-rise during a Christmas party.

* I learned one New York cop with a handgun is more than a match for eight terrorists with machine guns.

* I learned that Japanese bosses can catch you snorting coke but will ignore it because....hey, it's Christmas.

* I learned after being hung by your neck, police will cut you down, put you on a stretcher and leave your machine gun in your hands. Later you can wake up and try to kill the annoying cop that fucked you out of your share of a few million dollars and killed your brother.

* I learned when trying to kill a police officer who is crawling away from you under a table, it's best to jump onto the tabletop, and throw witty one-liners in between small bursts of gunfire aimed at the table top which all miss the said cop. Walking to the side of the table and putting one into the cop's head isn't logical.

* I learned when sending one of your terrorists buddies to kill that annoying cop, it's advisable to send the wimpy guy holding all of your C4 explosives and detonators.

* I learned that if you force the annoying cop to run through glass barefoot, just ignore the blood trail he leaves behind since blood trails are common in commercial sky-scrapers.

* I learned that after being shot in the head, you still can hang onto a hostage as you fall backwards out a window, and then smile as you bring your handgun up to shoot at that annoying cop.

* I learned that after terrorists take over a building and are setting up to repel the cops, taking a candy bar from the concessions area requires that the terrorist look around to make sure no one sees him stealing it.

* I learned you can lay on a beach somewhere in the world while your money earns a 20% interest rate return.

* I learned the FBI considers killing 30-40% of the hostages while attempting to kill the terrorists is quite acceptable.

* I learned after using a limo to t-bone the terrorists get-away ambulance, said limo's engine will run perfectly fine.

From Run Lola Run

* I learned a woman can scream so loud, she can shatter glass.

* I learned that no family in Germany has more than a single Vespa available to them.

From Johnny Mnemonic

* I learned that all Keano Reaves' character ever wants is room service.

From the original 1970's Gone in Sixty Seconds

* I learned that a slim-jim, slap-hammer and a large screwdriver is all that is needed to steal a 1970's era car.

* I learned auto salesmen will stand there with only a pointer-finger raised in protest as you rocket away in one of their cars.

* I learned you can wrap a 1973 Ford Mustang Mach 1 around a light pole at over 100 MPH, shake off the crash and drive away.

* I learned that car thieves in the 1970's had morals and would only steal cars that are insured.

* I learned that names such as Maindrian Pace, Pumpkin Chase, and Atlee Jackson were perfectly acceptable in the 1970's.

* I learned details on how to steal a 1970's car, swap out all the identifying serial numbers with a junked car of the same make and model, and then sell the 'clean' car on the auto auction.

* I learned an independently made movie made in 1973 on a budget of less than a million dollars, with no official script for the movie where much of the action/dialog was improvised and made up by the cast and crew as they went along actually was more watchable than a scripted film made in 2000 on a $101 million dollar budget.

From many films I have learned that car doors are bullet-proof.

The movie Fargo taught me:
*Minnesota State Troopers wear purple uniforms (gay)

Purple? Ok, I haven't seen the film in a while, but I don't remember purple uniforms. I know it was shot with a slight blue filter to invoke a cold feeling which could alter some of the colors on screen... I got to suggest you get your eyes checked for color blindness.

Purple? Ok, I haven't seen the film in a while, but I don't remember purple uniforms. I know it was shot with a slight blue filter to invoke a cold feeling which could alter some of the colors on screen... I got to suggest you get your eyes checked for color blindness.

I suggest you see the movie again, it's some shade of purple.

I suggest you see the movie again, it's some shade of purple.

IRL the MN state police wore dark blue coats in winter back when this story was to have taken place (though they took LOTS of liberty with the real events). Now-days they wear a tan coat.

- Happy Fargo, North Dakota resident most of my life.

The movie Jarhead taught me:

*The Persian Gulf War was really lame

*Marines do weird things when there's no one to kill

*Alot of their jargon is dick-related

*Jamie Foxx kicks ass...still

*Girlfriends cheat like crazy on their military boyfriends (from experience)

*My hands are very versatile

*We are still there

i have learned from scifi channel original movies that every forest--even those on distant planets--contain angry grizzly bears.I've learned that Sci Fi channel cannot make a good original movie.

Every single henchman employed by a villain has poor aim with any type of weapon, and can unload an entire clip of ammunition at the good guy and hit nothing. which is proof that the A-Team are actually evil henchmen. :salute:

From the Fast and Furious:

* I learned it doesn't matter if you win by an inch or a mile in a quarter mile race....winning is winning. (though I question how one would loose by a mile in a quarter mile run)

* I learned that in a street race of only a few blocks, car can hit 180MPH and take over two minutes to reach the finish line.

* I learned that truck drivers pack heat and are willing to shoot up their own $80- $150,000 tractor.

* I learned that dropping $100,000 in parts into a burnt out wreak of a car will make it as fast as a $100,000 supercar.

* I learned that Asians have an affinity to crotch rockets and sub-machine guns.

* I learned a tuner car can keep up with a crotch rocket.

* I learned after frying your pistons, you can drive your car normally with out any hit of engine problems.

This goes for any movie with cars in it, being chased, racing, whatever.

No matter how fast you're going, no matter what you're driving, where you are-there is ALWAYS an extra, "Now I'm serious" gear you can shift into.

I've learned that Sci Fi channel cannot make a good original movie.

A friend and I joke that we're just going to walk into their development office one day and say, "Give us money, we're going to make a movie." "Well, what's it abou-" "Sh-sh-sh-shhhh. Let's not pretend you care. We all saw Mansquito. Just give us the money."

A friend and I joke that we're just going to walk into their development office one day and say, "Give us money, we're going to make a movie." "Well, what's it abou-" "Sh-sh-sh-shhhh. Let's not pretend you care. We all saw Mansquito. Just give us the money."

i think you also have to have photos of the executives in compromising positions.

they must be naughty naughty boys to have been forced into make so very many truly bad movies.

I learned that the holodeck will always malfunction when you are happening to use it.

i think you also have to have photos of the executives in compromising positions.

they must be naughty naughty boys to have been forced into make so very many truly bad movies.

I think it's the 'only game in town' syndrome. They're the only full time sci-fi horror network so if you have an urge for it you got no other place to turn, so they can suck a little because what else you going to watch, Maid to Order on FX? Ha! It's also why the Speed Channel can suck so much so often, if I want a fix of fast cars I usually don't have a choice but to watch to groups of people I don't like bicker over how many 'lengths' that 80s Malibu gets over that 80s Mustang...

I think it's the 'only game in town' syndrome. They're the only full time sci-fi horror network so if you have an urge for it you got no other place to turn, so they can suck a little because what else you going to watch, Maid to Order on FX? Ha! It's also why the Speed Channel can suck so much so often, if I want a fix of fast cars I usually don't have a choice but to watch to groups of people I don't like bicker over how many 'lengths' that 80s Malibu gets over that 80s Mustang...

i refuse to believe that there are no better written scripts that can be got for a reasonable price.

A friend and I joke that we're just going to walk into their development office one day and say, "Give us money, we're going to make a movie." "Well, what's it abou-" "Sh-sh-sh-shhhh. Let's not pretend you care. We all saw Mansquito. Just give us the money."

I laugh at the 'original' part...

the plethora of dragon type movies when "Eragon" was released... or "Caved In - Prehistoric Terror" after all the Cave type moves (The Cave, Descent,) were released in theatres and let's not forget all the environmental disaster films when "the Day After Tomorrow" came out...

and some of them were just rehashing of the theatrical movie's plot.

Original... yeah... :rolleyes:

The Back up power generator always fails.

The reset button is always on the other side of a killing field.

I think it's the 'only game in town' syndrome. They're the only full time sci-fi horror network so if you have an urge for it you got no other place to turn, so they can suck a little because what else you going to watch, Maid to Order on FX? Ha! It's also why the Speed Channel can suck so much so often, if I want a fix of fast cars I usually don't have a choice but to watch to groups of people I don't like bicker over how many 'lengths' that 80s Malibu gets over that 80s Mustang...

wonders what kinda fix brought about "the weather channel" :D

countdowns cannot be stopped until it's within the last 10 seconds of detonation.

No matter how many millions of soldiers are involved, the main good guy and main bad guy will always fight each other directly. (Star Wars, other Star Wars, every single James Bond...)

We Chinese had them while you barbarians were recovering from Rome's collapse.

We Dragons were able to teleport from one world to another while you humans were still living in caves. >_>

countdowns cannot be stopped until it's within the last 10 seconds of detonation.

The last ten seconds don't work either, though. Right, Colonel Sandurz?

oh and this I learned to be absolutely true.

We all heard the joke, what do you get when you show an XXX rated movie with all the sex taken out? a 15 min film with absolutely nothing happening.

well... Bounty Huntress: Undercover (http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0408592/) turned that joke into reality.

ok, so it's 71 mins instead of 15, but it was still pretty bad... and this coming from a person who LOVES B-movies! :eek:

I kept asking why is everything so... disjointed. conversations stop mid topic... scenes were edited badly... to the point of being butchered...

then I saw the filmographies of the actors and actresses... ALL of em were Porn stars!

I rewatched the movie and laughed as I realized that all the butchered scenes were the sex scenes taken out!

The last ten seconds don't work either, though. Right, Colonel Sandurz?

ah, but they never tried stopping the countdown. (the abort button was out of order) ;)

remember? "last chance to push the abort button!"

i learned from ''Star Wreck:In the Pirkinning'' that totally stupid ass guy can win with understocking and bad tactics.plus the main gun of a starship will suck all power and power will be off for awhile.

So what movie have you learned something from?

i learned that if ou start dancing randomly in the streets and singing, people will know the words and moves and background music will be playing.

Also, world experts on various subjects tend to be young, attractive women.

From The Village:

* I have learned that hundreds of people can be convinced never to explore outside of their own little village, and no one ever has wanderlust.

* That Bryce Dallas Howard is hot, and I wouldn't mind having her as a wife.

Also from The Village:

If you need medication and there's monsters in the woods. The best thing to do is send out the blind girl because she'll not only be able to find her way to the outside world, but monsters won't attack her because they'll have sympathy on her!

ah, but they never tried stopping the countdown. (the abort button was out of order) ;)

remember? "last chance to push the abort button!"

it's "last chance to push the cancellation button"

it's "last chance to push the cancellation button"

if you say so... I'm going by memory here.

stupid job... not letting me watch movies... :(

That you can make the Kessel Run under 12 parsecs even though a parsec is a unit of distance not time.

That you can make the Kessel Run under 12 parsecs even though a parsec is a unit of distance not time.

A common criticism however, the movie is technically correct as Solo was referring to distance, not time:

The Falcon is often connected to the Kessel Run, a pathway from Kessel past the Maw Black Hole Cluster used by smugglers to transport precious Glitterstim spice. Solo in A New Hope brags that the Falcon made the Kessel Run in "less than twelve parsecs", referring to his ability to move the ship closer to the Maw's black holes and therefore cut the distance traveled

I've learned that underdog teams ALWAYS win in the championships

I've learned that if an underdog team loses before the championships obviously something will happen so they can come back in ;)

From every Horror movie:

*It's perfectly logical to explore a strange sound.

*It's better to split up than to stay together

*It's useless running, because all the serial killer has to do is walk, and he'll still be able to keep up with you

*As a rule, when running from the mad-man, women are required to fall down at least three times.

*When there's a murder on the lose, do not do the following.

Have Sex
Take a Shower
Sleep
Drink
Eat
ANYTHING!


*You can blow them up in an oxygen rich environment, the serial killer is still going to come back.

*The virgin/TBG always dies first

*If you're a strong female with mental/emotional problems, you'll be the one to kill the killer.

*A person who the serial killer switched place with to escape will never voice protest that he's not the serial killer and will allow himself to be killed.

If you are the hero, you will bleed profusely, but not die.

From Independence Day I learned that:

Only the US has people with the intelligence and initiative to conquer the alien invaders. If you're from Israel, Saudi Arabia, Russia, France, the UK or any other country, you'll wait for the US to tell you how to do it.

An alcoholic redneck will save the day.

Jeff Goldblum is actually pretty hot.

From Signs I learned that developing the intelligence to travel across the galaxy means you have to give up the intelligence to
a) Open doors.
b) Operate firearms.
c) Stay away from areas largely composed of a chemical that is highly toxic to you.
d) Avoid drowning in the desert (the Middle East was where they first found out the aliens were allergic to water.)

From science fiction action movies in general i learned
*30 second count-downs actually take two and a half to 5 minutes.
*Without all that air to get in the way even slow moving vehicles make an audible whoosh sound in space.
*Ammunition that hits a truck with enough force to knock it over only produces enough recoil to make a grown man jiggle.
*Human beings are not only the most sophisticated and brilliant beings in the universe, they're the most sophisticated and brilliant possible beings in the universe. Intelligent and peaceful aliens are sociopathic cold-blooded killers. Angels are pompous and callous. Gods are arrogant spoiled brats. But humans are perfect, despite all evidence to the contrary.