NationStates Jolt Archive

I don't particularly enjoy being a gay guy, not that it doesn't have it's occasional perks...

but how long is it suppose to take until you feel comfortable with who you are?

Depends on you, your entourage, the kind of place you live in and the support network you have.

Also on your ability to meet up with other gay people to exchange on your life experiences and have some people who you can relate to.

And perhaps on your luck finding a suitable boyfriend with whom you can start to realize that, you know, despite the fact that your lover has boy-parts instead of girl-bits, being in love is pretty much the same regardless of sexual orientation.

All in all, how long it takes to be comfortable with who you are is a case-by-case basis.

Gay or straight, it's going to take a while. If you're a teen, a long while.

Depending on where you are, the gay thing will take a while. Nebraska, longer. San Francisco or Miami, not as much.

You are who you are. Might as well roll with it.

but how long is it suppose to take until you feel comfortable with who you are?
Given that I know straight people in their 50's who are still waiting for that, you might have a long wait, or you might not.

You'll get there eventually.

I don't particularly enjoy being a gay guy, not that it doesn't have it's occasional perks...

but how long is it suppose to take until you feel comfortable with who you are?

I'm a straight woman, and I'm not 100% comfortable with who I am. But that doesn't necessarily have to do with orientation -- more like the human condition is to question oneself and one's place in the world.

I would have to say that with me, age has helped. I'm much more confident about myself and happy with myself than I was when I was twenty.

It takes until Fass shows up and slaps you across the face with all the reasons your life is so much better off without women!

Unless you're an American. Savage.


To be serious, though, what is it that you "don't enjoy"? Is it negativity from people in your life or society? Difficulty meeting people? Religious qualms? You need to identify why you aren't comfortable being who you are and work on that.

Hate to sound like a broken record here, but it's really a personal thing. But outside factors do play a part, particularly in terms of societal acceptance and availability of other gay people with whom you can communicate and stuff. Also, if you got yourself some decent friends, gay or straight, that'll help.

I doubt I'll ever be comfortable with me ever. It's just apart of my personality...

Honestly, I think I am what people call a "stealth f(+a+g)" if that is still the term; might be straight acting or masculine. As no one really guesses that I'm gay untill I tell them so. Actually have some comical stories about coworkers asking why I wore a rainbow pin. No telling how many more times I'll have to annouce it. Back to the main point; no one is really comfortable with who they are, some are more sure than others but even they have their doubts. It may sound cliche but Popeye the Sailor said it best with "I am what I am." To qoute him. Really that is what it boils down to... Just be your self.

This is weird ... A gay guy asking advice for how he can come to terms with it. I just wish I had something ... consoling to say.

its all our heterosexual evils corrupting your mind!

I would have to say that with me, age has helped. I'm much more confident about myself and happy with myself than I was when I was twenty.

but thats only like a years difference :confused:

Actually have some comical stories about coworkers asking why I wore a rainbow pin.

...why did you wear a rainbow pin?

I don't particularly enjoy being a gay guy
Eh, why?
but how long is it suppose to take until you feel comfortable with who you are?
It shouldn't be about how long it 'should' be. It'll probably take a while, no doubt, but don't have a pre-imagined timetable to it. Probably longer if you haven't told you mum etc. Probably less if you're older than 17.

It depends on the particular situation.

It takes until Fass shows up and slaps you across the face with all the reasons your life is so much better off without women!

This, plus how much smarter, enlightened, famous, stylish, fun, <add 20 superlatives here> that Fass will tell you that gay men are.

I doubt I'll ever be comfortable with me ever. It's just apart of my personality...

Time heals many wounds. ;)

its all our heterosexual evils corrupting your mind!



but thats only like a years difference :confused:



...why did you wear a rainbow pin?

Heh, I'm older than you think.
Then again, I'm definitely a believer in "it's not the years, it's the mileage."
I now have students in high school whose parents are younger than I... and wasn't that a depressing thought?

The rainbow has for a long time been a banner for gays... which has led to some pretty stupid shit stateside, like a B&B being boycotted and threatened for flying a flag with a rainbow out in East Nowhere somewhere -- I'll see if I can dig up the article.

http://atheism.about.com/b/2006/08/03/kansas-bigots-show-true-colors-equate-rainbow-flag-with-nazi-flag.htm
http://www.gay.com/news/article.html?2006/07/26/5
http://kipesquire.powerblogs.com/posts/1153961768.shtml

First, I'd like to say, welcome to NSG.

Second, I don't have the foggiest idea as to the answer. I'd talk to other gays to answer it.

I don't particularly enjoy being a gay guy, not that it doesn't have it's occasional perks...

but how long is it suppose to take until you feel comfortable with who you are?

Sometimes the journey to feel comfortable in our own skin never ends.

I'm a straight woman, and I'm not 100% comfortable with who I am. But that doesn't necessarily have to do with orientation -- more like the human condition is to question oneself and one's place in the world.

I would have to say that with me, age has helped. I'm much more confident about myself and happy with myself than I was when I was twenty.

yeah... I guess it might not even have that much to do with my sexual orientation. Good to know that it sounds like people generally become more comfortable over time! Is it something that you have to work on? Or does it just come to you... the comfortableness (if that's a word...)...

I don't particularly enjoy being a gay guy, not that it doesn't have it's occasional perks...

but how long is it suppose to take until you feel comfortable with who you are?

Most people, regardless of orientation, take a long time -- sometimes even their whole lives -- to feel comfortable with who they are. Some never do. Being gay adds a wrinkle, but it's not preventing you from accepting yourself. I wish you luck, as I do to all who wish to achieve such comfort, no matter who they are. That's because people who are uncomfortable with themselves are often uncomfortable with others. That leads to all kinds of negative things.

Sexuality is just a part of the human condition. I wouldn't worry about it.

Sexuality is just a part of the human condition. I wouldn't worry about it.

Unless you're in Wyoming.