Dragontide
11-07-2008, 02:50
It's easy. Just follow these simple 35 steps.
1. Always be negative. Don’t actually focus on the issue during a debate. It’s much better to attack your opponent on a personal level. Character assassination is easier, more likely to make you look like you have the moral high ground, and allows you to avoid actually debating the issue.
2. Dismiss celebrity opinions. Explain to everyone that their opinion is that of Liberal Hollywood and thus out of touch with mainstream America, even though your position is just as far to the right as theirs is to left. An exception to this rule is allowed if it happens to be a conservative celebrity like Charleton Heston or Ted Nugent.
3. Do everything you can to win an election except for actually try to get more votes. Order recounts to be stopped if the Democrat appears to be winning. Gerrymander like there’s no tomorrow. If you have to, make congressional districts look like snakes and barbells as long as it succeeds in taking any area where people may vote Democrat and severing it into small pieces that you have absorbed into solidly Republican constituencies. If anyone calls you on it, bring up the Presidential Election of 1960, even though wrongdoing on the Democratic side was never proven.
4. Create an economic situation that bankrupts a state’s treasury and then launch a recall election against the Democratic governor for the financial troubles of the state.
5. Respect Vietnam Veterans. At least pretend to. Always explain your respect for the men and women who served in our armed forces, unless that individual happens to be a Democratic Senator. Channel all your funding to ousting the triple-amputees who served in Vietnam. Praise John McCain for his service to our country but don’t apply the same respect for John Kerry.
6. Bring up September 11th as often as possible. Milk it for all its worth. Ignore the fact that the majority of the people killed lived in New York, California, New Jersey, Massachusetts, and the District of Columbia, all of which are heavily Democratic and that you condemn as bastions of liberalism. Try to connect it to every piece of legislation you can, such as when you decide to strip 800,000 federal workers of their union protection. If you don’t like a dictator and want to convince the nation to oust him, tell everyone he was connected to the 19 hijackers. You don’t actually have to prove this. Just tell everyone there must be a connection since both hate America. And most importantly, if you or your administration gets too connected to any scandal, remind everyone of the day the planes hit the towers. People will forget about your mishandling of the economy and your ties to corporate fraud if they remember how scared they were that Tuesday morning.
7. If a country disagrees with the U.S., forget all previous cooperation and friendship, regardless of the length of the alliance. Even if this country bankrupted its treasury and collapsed into anarchy so that the U.S. could be born, call them cowards, ostracize them, and rename its foods. Prey on people’s stereotypical views of the country. Threaten to punish it for disagreeing with you. Ignore it was your ally in another war a year and a half ago.
8. Blame Bill Clinton for everything except the peace and prosperity that occurred during his administration. You should try to take credit for everything good that happened in the 90’s, even though you were the ones who shut down the Federal government because you disagreed with him on the budget and spent $60 million of taxpayer money to drag his name through the mud. Blame him for September 11th if you can, even though his outgoing National Security Advisor and two Democratic Senators warned President Bush when he took office that intelligence showed the strong possibility of a terrorist attack on American soil within the ensuing nine months. The best way to do this is say that he ignored Al-Qaeda, even though when he ordered airstrikes on Afghanistan in 1998 after the embassy bombings you very vocally opposed him doing so.
9. Make it very clear that disagreeing with the administration equals disloyalty. It worked out great for Hitler and Stalin. Condemn anyone who opposes the administration as being unpatriotic and preach the need to support our Commander-in-Chief in a time of crisis. More than likely someone will bring up how you did the exact opposite when President Clinton was in office, including while we were at war with Yugoslavia in 1999, in which case see Rule #6.
10. Never ever stop talking about Clinton’s impeachment and how he lied under oath. If anyone brings up that Reagan lied to Congress about Iran- Contra or that Bush lied to the American public at his State of the Union Address about Iraq’s attempts at importing uranium, simply resort to Rule #6.
11. Always pledge your support to the Armed Forces. This won’t require very much effort. You can still cut Veteran benefits and shut down as many VA hospitals as you want to. All you have to do is make sure you deliver speeches at Army bases with soldiers standing behind you. People will assume you are the party that supports the Military and you can still strip them of everything as soon as they are discharged.
12. Continue to spread the myth of the liberal media and how it distorts everything. Act like you’ve been victimized by it. Ignore the fact that in reality the media is more conservative than it’s ever been, with a multitude of right-wing AM radio hosts viciously attacking liberals for hours on end and Fox News leading the race between the three cable news channels spouting off conservative opinion as though it was fact. If you happen to own Fox News, insist you are fair and balanced and have absolutely no bias and then staff your studios with nothing but conservative commentators who rant about how horrible liberals are and write the word “OPINION” under it so you can tell people your network doesn't have a slant.
13. Don’t ever ignore the South. Its white male population is what puts you into office. They don’t like the Federal Government, they don’t like liberals, and they don’t like Northerners. Make sure to use the words “states’ rights” and “heritage,” as often as possible. These are code words for secession and segregation and they’ll know exactly what you’re talking about. When the group you spent hours praising is suddenly connected to anything bad, such as the Ku Klux Klan, tell everyone you had no idea the group held those views.
14. Pretend all the wrongdoings of the Republican Party don’t exist. Offer to provide billions in AIDS funding for Africa so that people don’t remember the fact that you deliberately ignored the disease when all it was killing was gay people and you were calling it God’s punishment against homosexuals. Continually refer to yourself as the Party of Lincoln so everyone will forget that it was the liberal northerners who pushed the Civil Rights Act into law and that it was the conservatives in the South who were the ones turning fire hoses onto blacks in the streets of Montgomery.
15. Cover up the fact that you are the party of the White Anglo-Saxon Protestant. Make it look like you value diversity. Don’t worry, you won’t actually have to do anything to piss off your white male base. Instead of actually doing things to help minorities and drive them away from the Democrats, just put the only black Republican in all of Congress on TV to issue the party’s response to Clinton’s State of the Union Address. The same thing works wonders at the National Convention. Throw a couple latinos and the only gay Republican in Congress to the stage. Everyone will sit there and think the Republican Party is getting more inclusive whereas in actuality just about every piece of legislation that ever benefited a minority was sponsored by a Democrat and everything that ever benefited the arrogant rich white majority of this country was sponsored by a Republican.
16. If you can’t find another way to attack a Democrat you don’t like, play the adultery card. Preach family values. The fact that you can’t keep your own family together is irrelevant. It doesn’t matter how many acts of fellatio you received from a co-worker in your car, how many children you fathered out of marriage, how many divorces you’ve had, or how many times you have licked whipped cream off the breasts of a stripper. You're the party of family values, remember?
17. Be sure to blame liberal culture for John Walker Lindh, but steadfastly deny that conservative culture contributed to Waco, the Jonesboro Massacre, Andrea Yates, Oklahoma City, or the killing of Matthew Shepherd.
18. Create horror stories about anything Democrats try to pass. If they try to enact legislation to impose background checks for handgun purchases, tell everyone that it’s going to lead to the ATF coming to their doors to seize everyone’s hunting rifles and turn the country into a dictatorship where no one can rise up. Explain that if a Federal law is passed banning anti-gay discrimination that it will somehow lead to the complete moral decay of American society.
19. Preach that we need to go to war and ignore the fact that you never served in Vietnam, while most of your Democratic counterparts who are opposing the war you want to launch actually did.
20. Whenever you talk about liberals, make sure to take the stereotypical fringes on the far left of the party and convince everyone that’s how the average member believes. Talk about how they all sit their in their hemp birkenstocks drinking lattes speaking French. Bring up the Ted Kennedy, PETA, and Hollywood as much as you can. On the subject of Ted Kennedy, don't ever, ever shut up about Chappaquidick. Ever.
21. Call it a liberal conspiracy when the Earth Liberation Front puts spikes through trees and explain this is how people on the Left operate but act appalled when one of your own decides to bomb an abortion clinic, a gay bar, or a Federal building in Oklahoma City.
22. Preach states’ rights but only when it suits your needs. If the state of South Carolina has a Confederate flag flying over its dome and people want it down or the chief justice of the Alabama Supreme Court refuses to remove a statue of the Ten Commandments he put in the Supreme Court rotunda, argue that’s up to the state to decide. But if Vermont legalizes civil unions or Oregon approves physician-assisted suicide, make sure to try to enact Federal legislation to overturn it.
23. Pretend you care about education. If you want to get the votes you have to act like it matters. But remember what Karl Rove said: that as people become more educated they tend to vote Democratic. Make up cute names for education programs you will later ignore and financially starve, like “No Child Left Behind.”
24. If you want to pay back your rich friends, take the entire surplus created under the previous Democratic administration and give it to them. Just call it a tax cut and give everyone else in America a tiny sliver of it.
25. When all else fails, just blame the liberals for all the woes of the nation, even if for six of the last seven years you've controlled the White House, the Pentagon, and both Houses of Congress. It might be difficult to do this, seeing how you oversee all legislative action, you run the military, and you are the ones who are overseeing the economy. Just try to blame the CIA. Its director was appointed by Clinton.
26. Assure everyone that we have achieved victory in Iraq and that any hostilities still continuing are just minor skirmishes. If anyone dares to mention that soldiers are dying in guerilla attacks on a daily basis, the population is not welcoming us as liberators as you promised they would, none of the weapons of mass destruction we supposedly invaded the country for have been found, and that the war is costing $1 billion a week, just accuse them of criticizing the administration and say they don’t love America. Use catchy phrases like "cut and run."
27. Attach extra laws to everything you put through Congress. If you need to get a bill passed that relaxes clean air standards so you can pay back an oil company for bankrolling your Senate campaign, have it attached to an education plan or a bill about national security. It’s a win-win situation. Either you get what you want or if the Democrats try to fight it because you added it into the bill you can accuse them of not caring about our children’s future or the security of the country.
28. Always make it seem like the Democrats are some tiny fringe group completely out of touch with the American Public, even though when you combine the votes of Al Gore and Ralph Nader they equal more than half of the 100 million votes cast in the 2000 election. And ignore that Gore won the popular vote by a number greater than the entire population of Wyoming.
29. Give everyone a $300 tax refund and then launch a war that costs so much money that they will end up spending more than that in taxes the following year to pay for it.
30. When a Democratic administration is in the White House, complain 24 hours a day and talk about the horrid state of the nation. When a Republican is in the White House and the country actually is in a horrid state, pretend it isn’t happening and that everything is peachy. And make sure to criticize the Democrats for complaining the exact way you when Clinton was president and accuse them of disloyalty.
31. Remember your base is terrified of people who are unlike them, and you can use this to your advantage. Create a wedge issue out of something connected to a group of people and blow it out of proportion and act like the nation is under attack because of this. Gay marriage being legalized in Massachusetts is a wonderful example. Most of your voters don’t actually know any gay people aside from perhaps a passing acquaintance and thus will have no problem with that group being stripped of rights that you enjoy. Illegal immigration works wonders too. Your base will love it since the only real illegal immigration they actually care about is Mexican immigration, as you hardly notice any Republicans complaining about refugees coming in from Cuba. You can turn this into a race issue, and thus drive your party members to the polls, while pretending to not be racist.
32. Make stuff up. It doesn’t matter how ludicrous it is. If there’s a Christian Democratic candidate running for president who spent part of his life in Indonesia, tell everyone he went to a Madrassah that preached radical Islam. His camp will have to spend valuable time denying your ridiculous assertion and a lot of your ignorant party members will still believe it anyways. While your at it, make sure to say that Democrats are supporting the terrorists, as though Bill Clinton would have acted any differently had the attack on the World Trade Center occurred on September 11, 2000.
33. Call yourself pro-life and vehemently oppose a woman’s right to an abortion but make sure you’re against Head Start, pre-natal health care, welfare, adoption by gays, and anything else that could possibly make a woman considering one carry her baby to term instead.
34. When you win 51% in an election, make sure to call it a mandate and use that as an excuse to push through your agenda. This also applies when you gain three seats in the House because you gerrymandered five Texas Democrats' districts out from under them and beat a Democratic Senator representing a Republican state by 3,000 votes. It doesn't look like a mandate when it's worded that way, but your friends at Fox News are there to repeat that line over and over until it's drilled into the American public's mind.
35. When referring the states that are traditionally Democratic, make them sound as though they're parasites sucking the blood out of the country. It works really well if you attach "liberal," in front it. While it is true that California is the 5th largest economy in the world, Illinois has the same GDP as Mexico, and both the Nasdaq and Dow Jones are in New York, put the word "liberal," in front of them and you can make them sound as though they bear no actual importance to the United States. Just try as hard as you can to forget that all but four of the original 13 colonies voted Democratic in the 2004 election.
http://learntobearepublican.com/
Now all you will need get Britney Spears loaded and have her open a G0P convention for you.
GOOD LUCK!!! :cool:
1. Always be negative. Don’t actually focus on the issue during a debate. It’s much better to attack your opponent on a personal level. Character assassination is easier, more likely to make you look like you have the moral high ground, and allows you to avoid actually debating the issue.
2. Dismiss celebrity opinions. Explain to everyone that their opinion is that of Liberal Hollywood and thus out of touch with mainstream America, even though your position is just as far to the right as theirs is to left. An exception to this rule is allowed if it happens to be a conservative celebrity like Charleton Heston or Ted Nugent.
3. Do everything you can to win an election except for actually try to get more votes. Order recounts to be stopped if the Democrat appears to be winning. Gerrymander like there’s no tomorrow. If you have to, make congressional districts look like snakes and barbells as long as it succeeds in taking any area where people may vote Democrat and severing it into small pieces that you have absorbed into solidly Republican constituencies. If anyone calls you on it, bring up the Presidential Election of 1960, even though wrongdoing on the Democratic side was never proven.
4. Create an economic situation that bankrupts a state’s treasury and then launch a recall election against the Democratic governor for the financial troubles of the state.
5. Respect Vietnam Veterans. At least pretend to. Always explain your respect for the men and women who served in our armed forces, unless that individual happens to be a Democratic Senator. Channel all your funding to ousting the triple-amputees who served in Vietnam. Praise John McCain for his service to our country but don’t apply the same respect for John Kerry.
6. Bring up September 11th as often as possible. Milk it for all its worth. Ignore the fact that the majority of the people killed lived in New York, California, New Jersey, Massachusetts, and the District of Columbia, all of which are heavily Democratic and that you condemn as bastions of liberalism. Try to connect it to every piece of legislation you can, such as when you decide to strip 800,000 federal workers of their union protection. If you don’t like a dictator and want to convince the nation to oust him, tell everyone he was connected to the 19 hijackers. You don’t actually have to prove this. Just tell everyone there must be a connection since both hate America. And most importantly, if you or your administration gets too connected to any scandal, remind everyone of the day the planes hit the towers. People will forget about your mishandling of the economy and your ties to corporate fraud if they remember how scared they were that Tuesday morning.
7. If a country disagrees with the U.S., forget all previous cooperation and friendship, regardless of the length of the alliance. Even if this country bankrupted its treasury and collapsed into anarchy so that the U.S. could be born, call them cowards, ostracize them, and rename its foods. Prey on people’s stereotypical views of the country. Threaten to punish it for disagreeing with you. Ignore it was your ally in another war a year and a half ago.
8. Blame Bill Clinton for everything except the peace and prosperity that occurred during his administration. You should try to take credit for everything good that happened in the 90’s, even though you were the ones who shut down the Federal government because you disagreed with him on the budget and spent $60 million of taxpayer money to drag his name through the mud. Blame him for September 11th if you can, even though his outgoing National Security Advisor and two Democratic Senators warned President Bush when he took office that intelligence showed the strong possibility of a terrorist attack on American soil within the ensuing nine months. The best way to do this is say that he ignored Al-Qaeda, even though when he ordered airstrikes on Afghanistan in 1998 after the embassy bombings you very vocally opposed him doing so.
9. Make it very clear that disagreeing with the administration equals disloyalty. It worked out great for Hitler and Stalin. Condemn anyone who opposes the administration as being unpatriotic and preach the need to support our Commander-in-Chief in a time of crisis. More than likely someone will bring up how you did the exact opposite when President Clinton was in office, including while we were at war with Yugoslavia in 1999, in which case see Rule #6.
10. Never ever stop talking about Clinton’s impeachment and how he lied under oath. If anyone brings up that Reagan lied to Congress about Iran- Contra or that Bush lied to the American public at his State of the Union Address about Iraq’s attempts at importing uranium, simply resort to Rule #6.
11. Always pledge your support to the Armed Forces. This won’t require very much effort. You can still cut Veteran benefits and shut down as many VA hospitals as you want to. All you have to do is make sure you deliver speeches at Army bases with soldiers standing behind you. People will assume you are the party that supports the Military and you can still strip them of everything as soon as they are discharged.
12. Continue to spread the myth of the liberal media and how it distorts everything. Act like you’ve been victimized by it. Ignore the fact that in reality the media is more conservative than it’s ever been, with a multitude of right-wing AM radio hosts viciously attacking liberals for hours on end and Fox News leading the race between the three cable news channels spouting off conservative opinion as though it was fact. If you happen to own Fox News, insist you are fair and balanced and have absolutely no bias and then staff your studios with nothing but conservative commentators who rant about how horrible liberals are and write the word “OPINION” under it so you can tell people your network doesn't have a slant.
13. Don’t ever ignore the South. Its white male population is what puts you into office. They don’t like the Federal Government, they don’t like liberals, and they don’t like Northerners. Make sure to use the words “states’ rights” and “heritage,” as often as possible. These are code words for secession and segregation and they’ll know exactly what you’re talking about. When the group you spent hours praising is suddenly connected to anything bad, such as the Ku Klux Klan, tell everyone you had no idea the group held those views.
14. Pretend all the wrongdoings of the Republican Party don’t exist. Offer to provide billions in AIDS funding for Africa so that people don’t remember the fact that you deliberately ignored the disease when all it was killing was gay people and you were calling it God’s punishment against homosexuals. Continually refer to yourself as the Party of Lincoln so everyone will forget that it was the liberal northerners who pushed the Civil Rights Act into law and that it was the conservatives in the South who were the ones turning fire hoses onto blacks in the streets of Montgomery.
15. Cover up the fact that you are the party of the White Anglo-Saxon Protestant. Make it look like you value diversity. Don’t worry, you won’t actually have to do anything to piss off your white male base. Instead of actually doing things to help minorities and drive them away from the Democrats, just put the only black Republican in all of Congress on TV to issue the party’s response to Clinton’s State of the Union Address. The same thing works wonders at the National Convention. Throw a couple latinos and the only gay Republican in Congress to the stage. Everyone will sit there and think the Republican Party is getting more inclusive whereas in actuality just about every piece of legislation that ever benefited a minority was sponsored by a Democrat and everything that ever benefited the arrogant rich white majority of this country was sponsored by a Republican.
16. If you can’t find another way to attack a Democrat you don’t like, play the adultery card. Preach family values. The fact that you can’t keep your own family together is irrelevant. It doesn’t matter how many acts of fellatio you received from a co-worker in your car, how many children you fathered out of marriage, how many divorces you’ve had, or how many times you have licked whipped cream off the breasts of a stripper. You're the party of family values, remember?
17. Be sure to blame liberal culture for John Walker Lindh, but steadfastly deny that conservative culture contributed to Waco, the Jonesboro Massacre, Andrea Yates, Oklahoma City, or the killing of Matthew Shepherd.
18. Create horror stories about anything Democrats try to pass. If they try to enact legislation to impose background checks for handgun purchases, tell everyone that it’s going to lead to the ATF coming to their doors to seize everyone’s hunting rifles and turn the country into a dictatorship where no one can rise up. Explain that if a Federal law is passed banning anti-gay discrimination that it will somehow lead to the complete moral decay of American society.
19. Preach that we need to go to war and ignore the fact that you never served in Vietnam, while most of your Democratic counterparts who are opposing the war you want to launch actually did.
20. Whenever you talk about liberals, make sure to take the stereotypical fringes on the far left of the party and convince everyone that’s how the average member believes. Talk about how they all sit their in their hemp birkenstocks drinking lattes speaking French. Bring up the Ted Kennedy, PETA, and Hollywood as much as you can. On the subject of Ted Kennedy, don't ever, ever shut up about Chappaquidick. Ever.
21. Call it a liberal conspiracy when the Earth Liberation Front puts spikes through trees and explain this is how people on the Left operate but act appalled when one of your own decides to bomb an abortion clinic, a gay bar, or a Federal building in Oklahoma City.
22. Preach states’ rights but only when it suits your needs. If the state of South Carolina has a Confederate flag flying over its dome and people want it down or the chief justice of the Alabama Supreme Court refuses to remove a statue of the Ten Commandments he put in the Supreme Court rotunda, argue that’s up to the state to decide. But if Vermont legalizes civil unions or Oregon approves physician-assisted suicide, make sure to try to enact Federal legislation to overturn it.
23. Pretend you care about education. If you want to get the votes you have to act like it matters. But remember what Karl Rove said: that as people become more educated they tend to vote Democratic. Make up cute names for education programs you will later ignore and financially starve, like “No Child Left Behind.”
24. If you want to pay back your rich friends, take the entire surplus created under the previous Democratic administration and give it to them. Just call it a tax cut and give everyone else in America a tiny sliver of it.
25. When all else fails, just blame the liberals for all the woes of the nation, even if for six of the last seven years you've controlled the White House, the Pentagon, and both Houses of Congress. It might be difficult to do this, seeing how you oversee all legislative action, you run the military, and you are the ones who are overseeing the economy. Just try to blame the CIA. Its director was appointed by Clinton.
26. Assure everyone that we have achieved victory in Iraq and that any hostilities still continuing are just minor skirmishes. If anyone dares to mention that soldiers are dying in guerilla attacks on a daily basis, the population is not welcoming us as liberators as you promised they would, none of the weapons of mass destruction we supposedly invaded the country for have been found, and that the war is costing $1 billion a week, just accuse them of criticizing the administration and say they don’t love America. Use catchy phrases like "cut and run."
27. Attach extra laws to everything you put through Congress. If you need to get a bill passed that relaxes clean air standards so you can pay back an oil company for bankrolling your Senate campaign, have it attached to an education plan or a bill about national security. It’s a win-win situation. Either you get what you want or if the Democrats try to fight it because you added it into the bill you can accuse them of not caring about our children’s future or the security of the country.
28. Always make it seem like the Democrats are some tiny fringe group completely out of touch with the American Public, even though when you combine the votes of Al Gore and Ralph Nader they equal more than half of the 100 million votes cast in the 2000 election. And ignore that Gore won the popular vote by a number greater than the entire population of Wyoming.
29. Give everyone a $300 tax refund and then launch a war that costs so much money that they will end up spending more than that in taxes the following year to pay for it.
30. When a Democratic administration is in the White House, complain 24 hours a day and talk about the horrid state of the nation. When a Republican is in the White House and the country actually is in a horrid state, pretend it isn’t happening and that everything is peachy. And make sure to criticize the Democrats for complaining the exact way you when Clinton was president and accuse them of disloyalty.
31. Remember your base is terrified of people who are unlike them, and you can use this to your advantage. Create a wedge issue out of something connected to a group of people and blow it out of proportion and act like the nation is under attack because of this. Gay marriage being legalized in Massachusetts is a wonderful example. Most of your voters don’t actually know any gay people aside from perhaps a passing acquaintance and thus will have no problem with that group being stripped of rights that you enjoy. Illegal immigration works wonders too. Your base will love it since the only real illegal immigration they actually care about is Mexican immigration, as you hardly notice any Republicans complaining about refugees coming in from Cuba. You can turn this into a race issue, and thus drive your party members to the polls, while pretending to not be racist.
32. Make stuff up. It doesn’t matter how ludicrous it is. If there’s a Christian Democratic candidate running for president who spent part of his life in Indonesia, tell everyone he went to a Madrassah that preached radical Islam. His camp will have to spend valuable time denying your ridiculous assertion and a lot of your ignorant party members will still believe it anyways. While your at it, make sure to say that Democrats are supporting the terrorists, as though Bill Clinton would have acted any differently had the attack on the World Trade Center occurred on September 11, 2000.
33. Call yourself pro-life and vehemently oppose a woman’s right to an abortion but make sure you’re against Head Start, pre-natal health care, welfare, adoption by gays, and anything else that could possibly make a woman considering one carry her baby to term instead.
34. When you win 51% in an election, make sure to call it a mandate and use that as an excuse to push through your agenda. This also applies when you gain three seats in the House because you gerrymandered five Texas Democrats' districts out from under them and beat a Democratic Senator representing a Republican state by 3,000 votes. It doesn't look like a mandate when it's worded that way, but your friends at Fox News are there to repeat that line over and over until it's drilled into the American public's mind.
35. When referring the states that are traditionally Democratic, make them sound as though they're parasites sucking the blood out of the country. It works really well if you attach "liberal," in front it. While it is true that California is the 5th largest economy in the world, Illinois has the same GDP as Mexico, and both the Nasdaq and Dow Jones are in New York, put the word "liberal," in front of them and you can make them sound as though they bear no actual importance to the United States. Just try as hard as you can to forget that all but four of the original 13 colonies voted Democratic in the 2004 election.
http://learntobearepublican.com/
Now all you will need get Britney Spears loaded and have her open a G0P convention for you.
GOOD LUCK!!! :cool: