NationStates Jolt Archive

I get into the strangest conversations sometimes...

Ok, following a rather weird debate/conversation, I thought I'd turn to the collective wisdom of NSG to see what you guys think.

The question is, of the following three, which do you think is worse in terms of TOTAL damage to the victim (Mental, emotional, and physical):

A. Rape by someone who was trusted by the victim (Be it friend, family member, or SO). Assume this is a one time event.

B. Rape by a (One) stranger, but done multiple times over a long time period and in such a way as to attempt to brainwash the victim (See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cameron_Hooker for example).

C. A gang rape by strangers, assume multiple rapes, but only one occasion.

The victim is of age (meaning above 18) and has no other problems.

Please state which one, why, and your gender.

As for me, I say it's rape by someone whom the victim trusted. I feel that betrayal would last far longer in terms of both mental and emotional scars that would take longer to get over. And I'm a guy.

What say you?

I get into the strangest conversations sometimes...

Ok, following a rather weird debate/conversation, I thought I'd turn to the collective wisdom of NSG to see what you guys think.

The question is, of the following three, which do you think is worse in terms of TOTAL damage to the victim (Mental, emotional, and physical):

A. Rape by someone who was trusted by the victim (Be it friend, family member, or SO). Assume this is a one time event.

B. Rape by a (One) stranger, but done multiple times over a long time period and in such a way as to attempt to brainwash the victim (See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cameron_Hooker for example).

C. A gang rape by strangers, assume multiple rapes, but only one occasion.

The victim is of age (meaning above 18) and has no other problems.

Please state which one, why, and your gender.

As for me, I say it's rape by someone whom the victim trusted. I feel that betrayal would last far longer in terms of both mental and emotional scars that would take longer to get over. And I'm a guy.

What say you?

Is the victim a male or female?

EDIT: It depends too much on the circumstances, A, and B IMO, would be the two worst, but it would depend on the person, how they bond, their psychological health, and who it is that they know/trust (for A).

I'm a guy.

Gang rape, female. I just think, they feeling of violation and humiliation would be worse... I don't know just reading over them this one looked worse.

Edit: Although, now that I actually read the link I that that the multiple times one would be worse if you were held in captivity over that time instead of someone just stalking and raping or something.

http://www.forumspile.com/Thread-I_like_where_this_thread_is_going.jpg

Yea, I think I'll stay out of this one.

*leaves thread*

Option B would be the worst as the damage continues to occur for an extended period of time.

I honestly think it would depend on the victim, and on other details of the events. I don't believe there's a one-size-fits-all answer where one sort of rape is always worse than another.

Really difficult question to answer, but I would have to say that I would find C the most traumatic physically, mentally and emotionally. A gang rape would likely do the most physical damage because of the repeated trauma in a short time span. I don't know why exactly I feel like it would be more mentally and emotionally traumatic... it's just kind of like, how many times, by how many people can you be violated and brutalized and humiliated? Before you give up even trying to get through it?

I'm a woman.

I think being gang raped.

And I'm a man.

I'd sort of go with C as well, aside from the points Ryadn made, because I vaguely feel there's greater possibility of coming to terms with something you could do nothing about.

Gang rape, to me, and this really depends on circumstance for all three, but I suspect there'd be an element of thinking one could have done something different - not a valid belief but one that can be held by rape victims - and a lifelong thought process of:

If only I hadn't walked down that street
If only I hadn't jogged after dark
If only...

It's the 'if only' that can really damage long-term - for the first two, there's (possibly) less reason to put an 'if only' on them, easier to go through the emotions and come to terms with it.

Overall though, very hard question to answer.

Male.

I don't think this question can be answered to fit all possibilities - but I will not be a spoilsport and choose B - I think the damaging part of the rape is about power and control and a prolonged exertion of constant power and control can mass one up in a very profound way. I'm no expert though so I may be completely wrong.

Male, by the way.

Cheerio!

The first one. Because that undermines the entire notion of trust.

With B and C, the perpetrators are strangers, and so one could still turn to friends, family, etc., people you trust, for support.

But with A, if the rapist was someone you trusted, you might be more reluctant to place trust in anyone again for quite a while.

I would say this depends greatly on the victim.

I get into the strangest conversations sometimes...

Ok, following a rather weird debate/conversation, I thought I'd turn to the collective wisdom of NSG to see what you guys think.

The question is, of the following three, which do you think is worse in terms of TOTAL damage to the victim (Mental, emotional, and physical):

A. Rape by someone who was trusted by the victim (Be it friend, family member, or SO). Assume this is a one time event.

B. Rape by a (One) stranger, but done multiple times over a long time period and in such a way as to attempt to brainwash the victim (See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cameron_Hooker for example).

C. A gang rape by strangers, assume multiple rapes, but only one occasion.

The victim is of age (meaning above 18) and has no other problems.

Please state which one, why, and your gender.

As for me, I say it's rape by someone whom the victim trusted. I feel that betrayal would last far longer in terms of both mental and emotional scars that would take longer to get over. And I'm a guy.

What say you?
B. Female.

Might be because your link confirmed my worst-case notion of what that scenario could entail, complete with torture and assorted other niceties.

In essence, B would go beyond a one-time rape into most severe prolonged psychological and physical abuse and would hence, I assume, leave the most lasting scars of your three scenarios.

By the time someone kidnaps you and locks you into a cage in their house to rape you again and again for days they're not "just" raping you, they're also clearly beyond anything resembling a "normal" frame of mind - you wouldn't even know if you'd ever get out of there alive.


Generally, though, I'd go with Poli's answer:
I honestly think it would depend on the victim, and on other details of the events. I don't believe there's a one-size-fits-all answer where one sort of rape is always worse than another.

I don't think there is such a thing as a 'worse' rape. I very much doubt that any of your hypothetical victims would feel 'better off' than any of the others, or glad that 'at least it wasn't this...'

All of them will have devastating, long lasting consequences for the victim, and how long it takes them to recover will be an individual thing.

As I have issues with people who I once trusted only to have them betray me, I would say A because trust is such a fragile thing. I'm female.

Is the victim a male or female?
In the original conversation, a woman. This came about because a friend of mine is writing an original Bubblegum Crisis fan fic where she's attempting to make life as miserable as possible for one of the characters, absolutely destroy her, and so on. We ended up in a debate as to what would be worse, she felt B, I thought A.

For the proposes of this discussion however, either/or.

In terms of dealing with rape, Scenario A. Betrayal and humiliation by a so-called friend who is supposed to know and value you personally, and whose "job-spec" includes looking out for you is very damaging and impacts the trust you have for other people too.

In the examples you gave though, I would say Scenario B would be the most difficult to cope with because of the kidnap and captivity, the other psychological games the kidnapper played and the effectively stolen 7 years of life. A person would be very scarred from that, but rape would only be one part of it.