NationStates Jolt Archive

Sort of a spin off of the eternity thread; would you rather serve in heaven or reign in hell? Presuming of course both exist.

Serve in heaven. It seems a more pleasant place than hell, and, to be honest, I don't really want to rule a bunch of heaven-rejects. It's like being the captain of the remedial softball team.

Reign in Hell. All the fun people are there.
I wouldn't really want to spent my eternity cleaning between the toes of a bunch of evangelicals.
On the other hand, my hellish minions might resent me. That wouldn't be nice.

Reign in Hell.

I'd rather not be God's bitch, and I'd much rather chill with all the cool folks who go to Hell.

Heaven, after all, is a place where nothing ever happens.

Reign in Hell.


heaven is going to Suck so boring.


hell will have the sex drugs and rock and roll i come to love so much.

Let's see... be subservient to some entity that doesn't give a rat's ass about me or rule over the world passed the River Styx... personally I opt for the job as the devil. I'm an evil psychotic bitch; the job is perfect for me.

I went against the grain, and picked "Serve in Heaven".

How much does a service position in Heaven pay? Is it salaried, or hourly? Do angels tip well? At all? What about health insurance? I mean, yeah, it's heaven and all, but that's no excuse for failing to be prepared in the event of illness/accident.
And what about transit? Does heaven provide a travel allowance or company cloud? I must have answers to these questions!

If all i had were those two options, i would *still* go with whatever alloted me more options. Duh.

How much does a service position in Heaven pay? Is it salaried, or hourly? Do angels tip well? At all? What about health insurance? I mean, yeah, it's heaven and all, but that's no excuse for failing to be prepared in the event of illness/accident.
And what about transit? Does heaven provide a travel allowance or company cloud? I must have answers to these questions!

If I fall, will I be compensated?

Neither.

I don't care where you are, serving sucks because your time isn't your own, and you're constantly being pestered by some god who wants you to pay attention to crap that's important to him but not to you.

And I don't care where you are, reigning sucks because your time isn't your own and you're responsible for shit that means nothing in the long run, and you are probably surrounded by incompetent imbeciles, because, really, who isn't nowadays? At least if you're not reigning over them, you don't have to watch them screw up everything you tell them to do.

On the whole, I'd rather heaven and hell would just forget I exist.

I quite enjoy serving, and reigning over anything tends to involve a lot of organizing of minions, yelling at minions, and beating one's head against a wall in response to the disorganization and/or stupidity and/or irresponsibility and/or general uselessness of minions, which I can only assume would be even worse in Hell. Easy choice, then. :p

I'll let you know when I'm governor of Texas.

Neither.

I don't care where you are, serving sucks because your time isn't your own, and you're constantly being pestered by some god who wants you to pay attention to crap that's important to him but not to you.

And I don't care where you are, reigning sucks because your time isn't your own and you're responsible for shit that means nothing in the long run, and you are probably surrounded by incompetent imbeciles, because, really, who isn't nowadays? At least if you're not reigning over them, you don't have to watch them screw up everything you tell them to do.

On the whole, I'd rather heaven and hell would just forget I exist.

The worms await you. :)

I don't see any reason why I can't do both. :)

If I reigned in Hell, I would abdicate. If I served in Heaven, I would revolt.

Can I just be part of an anarchist commune in Limbo?

To answer the question we need to put it into perspective...

I would rather be a single parent waitress serving breakfast to truckers at a greasy spoon restaurant in Canada barely making ends meet but living in hope for myself and my children, than be a Chieftain of a tribe in Darfur being hunted down and harassed into extinction, with my people crying to me for help, medicine, hope and a future, and being unable to give it to them…

For those of you that think you would rather reign in hell than serve in heaven, consider, is hell worse than Darfur Sudan? Is Heaven better than Canada? :p

Secondary point, I’m not sure what the originator of the saying (reign in hell or serve in heaven) was thinking of, didn’t he know that those that serve are the rulers of heaven? It's a contradiction to 'serve in heaven' or 'rule in hell,' you can do neither. You enjoy true life if you’re in heaven, you suffer eternal death if you’re sent to hell.

The worms await you. :)

Hey, a worm's gotta eat. :) Worms = fate's debt collectors. I'm totally cool with them.

To answer the question we need to put it into perspective...

I would rather be a single parent waitress serving breakfast to truckers at a greasy spoon restaurant in Canada barely making ends meet but living in hope for myself and my children, than be a Chieftain of a tribe in Darfur being hunted down and harassed into extinction, with my people crying to me for help, medicine, hope and a future, and being unable to give it to them…

For those of you that think you would rather reign in hell than serve in heaven, consider, is hell worse that Darfur Sudan? Is Heaven better than Canada? :p
My guess on both questions would be no.

Secondary point, I’m not sure what the originator of the saying (reign in hell or serve in heaven) was thinking of, didn’t he know that those that serve are the rulers of heaven? It's a contradiction to 'serve in heaven' or 'rule in hell,' you can do neither. You enjoy true life if you’re in heaven, you suffer eternal death if you’re sent to hell.
People who want you to serve them always say shit like that. The person who originated the quote probably had held a job once.

How much will I get paid for either job?

did op just finish max payne 2?

The advantage of reigning in Hell is that one would have the power to make it a better place.

Ballotonia

Anyone here ever read Steven Brust's To Reign in Hell?
Great book. It's supposed to be Satans' side of the story.

Literally or figuratively? If literally, you'd have to be sick or evil to choose eternal damnation, which was what Satan did by choosing to "reign in Hell" rather than "serve in Heaven." Also remember that Satan, who made that choice symbolizes evil itself. Not someone I'd personally emulate. If figurative, it could mean something like be the President of Iraq or a clerk in a first world office. In that case, I can see a lot of people choosing "hell". At least there you could make an impact, for better or for worse. People like their life to have some meaning.

Personally, I choose heaven either way. I'm not sure I believe in either in a religious sense, but in this world, sometimes one has to fight in hell to build a heaven. So personally, that's my answer to the above question.

Serve myself and reign over myself with myself as a subject, in MY heaven and MY hell at the same time.

Serve myself and reign over myself with myself as a subject, in MY heaven and MY hell at the same time.

You're gonna run a gay whorehouse? :confused:

Reign in Hell.

Heaven.

Because nobody wants to Serve in Heaven, but everyone else wants to Reign in Hell.

Less competetion, less stress.

I don't see any reason why I can't do both. :)

Your wife and her 40,000 volt taser. She has enough on her plate with you in the earthly realm without adding some extra realms to watch over you in.

Well, I'd look at this semi-realistically. If I don't believe in Heaven and Hell as outlined in Christian mythology/scripture (and if I don't, in fact, believe that mythology/scripture at all), if the places exist, I'm going to be going to hell.

Eternal bliss is boring. When the words pop up they remind me of life on Xanax. Conflict is interesting, and you're only going to find that in hell.

And FYI, original quotation "“Better to reign in hell than serve in heaven" comes from John Milton's Paradise Lost.

Reign in heaven. Eternal bliss means no pain and boredom is a form of pain. Therefore, eternal bliss lacks the pain of boredom.

Serve in heaven: the hours are nice (it's called heaven for a reason), the people are nice, everything's free, and you get to choose between wearing a kickass uniform, going casual, or going naked.

reign in hell: It's hell. Everyone's a reject, the ruler there tried to overthrow God, who sees everything and can kick anyone's ass (he invented physics. He knows how to control it) in literally no time at all(he invented time). Everyone would try to overthrow you. The hours are lousy. You have to wear a stupid uniform. Everyone's ugly. Your immortality would be the only thing keeping the ugly from killing you and raping your corpse.

Serve in heaven. Everything is fun in heaven.

You're gonna run a gay whorehouse? :confused:

Nope, I'm straight, you sexy hunky piece of meat. ;)

(No, really, I am.) o_o

I don't like John Milton, ergo; 1.

Heaven = celestial imperialistic capitalist state

Hell = rebelling angelic revolutionaries sick of celestial dictatorship

viva le revolution!
;)

Heaven = celestial imperialistic capitalist state

Hell = rebelling angelic revolutionaries sick of celestial dictatorship

viva le revolution!
;)

1- It's "la revolución"

2- You'd be hard-pressed to make a casethat Hell isn't a brutal dictatorship, with, yes, capitalistic values.

I'd reign in hell because I could probabaly save a fortune on my heating and gas bill which would be nice what with rising prices :cool:

if I served in heaven I'd have a perfect white robe to keep clean and the commute is a bitch

Your wife and her 40,000 volt taser. She has enough on her plate with you in the earthly realm without adding some extra realms to watch over you in.

It's 50,000 volts. :(

Nope, I'm straight, you sexy hunky piece of meat. ;)

(No, really, I am.) o_o

Which is why it's your heaven AND your hell. ;)

Preside over purgatory for a finite term. Maybe.

Heaven every time, though it depends on whose heaven we are talking about and who I'd be serving. There's nothing bad about serving (most) gods...

I'll take Valhöll, for eternity....

Fighting where you end up OK, feasting on Sæhrímnir, and boozing it up sound pretty good to me if I'm going to have to pick an imaginary afterlife...

2- You'd be hard-pressed to make a casethat Hell isn't a brutal dictatorship, with, yes, capitalistic values.

Yea, but if I remeber my Simpsons episodes right, the Christian hell is meant to be red, with bright golden flames... Hail to our great triumph of subterranean socialist architecture! Behold the miraculous archievements of our glorious socialist heating engineers!

Reign in Hell, invade Heaven, reign in Heaven, retire in Heaven with a full pension.

The question is moot.

They've closed Spam :(

Fighting where you end up OK, feasting on Sæhrímnir, and boozing it up sound pretty good to me if I'm going to have to pick an imaginary afterlife...

pfft getting up from a hangover to spend all day play fighting with some Swedish rough housers sounds pretty much like being a primary school teacher

They've closed Spam :(

wha...what!?!1

This question is a no brainer since it's just a choice between Serving and Reigning.

Neither, I serve No one...Satan and God'll just have to get over it...

Neither, I serve No one...Satan and God'll just have to get over it...

If you reign in Hell you aren't serving anyone. That's sort of the definition of "reign".

If you reign in Hell you aren't serving anyone. That's sort of the definition of "reign".

well, if you take the traditional view of hell, it has several beings who 'Reign' but theyre still under Satan...

like "Home Nations of sorts" lol...

Kiss the arse of a crazed megalomaniac for eternity, or overthrow the greatest evil and rule his territory forever and ever?

I'd reign in Hell. Then I could get all the poor, innocent souls to build up an army so that we can invade Heaven, overthrow God, and reign in Heaven too.

In the meantime while I'm building up the army of disgruntled souls, I'll look into fixing that faulty air conditioning.

I'd reign in Hell. Then I could get all the poor, innocent souls to build up an army so that we can invade Heaven, overthrow God, and reign in Heaven too.

You do, of course, realize that that's EXACTLY Satan's plan, right? "Poor" and "innocent" being a matter of definition.

Taking your option I'd make "Hell" into a decent place souls who CHOSE TO could come in. And heck, even leave for Heaven and back if they wish.

Reign in Hell, of course. What did you expect my answer would be? I´m a princess!!:p

Reign in Hell, of course. What did you expect my answer would be? I´m a princess!!:p

Mmm. Spain IS a monarchy. If I marry you do I get the title?

Mmm. Spain IS a monarchy. If I marry you do I get the title?

Sure. But if we´re to marry, you sure as heck will sign a Hell pre-nup.

NOTE: Spain is not a monarchy, but a democratic socialist government.;)

ir I reign in hell, do I have to have sex whith saddam hussein:fluffle:? and if I serve in heaven, are there only Mormons over there? :upyours: more info please

Sure. But if we´re to marry, you sure as heck will sign a Hell pre-nup.

NOTE: Spain is not a monarchy, but a democratic socialist government.;)

But Wiki sez... :p

But Wiki sez... :p

Alas, my friend, in that regards, Wiki is wrong. Since Zapatero became president, and even a few years before him, Spain cease to be a monarchy and became a socialist country.

Alas, my friend, in that regards, Wiki is wrong. Since Zapatero became president, and even a few years before him, Spain cease to be a monarchy and became a socialist country.

Now seriously, don't you HAVE a Royal Family, and so on? o_O

ir I reign in hell, do I have to have sex whith saddam hussein:fluffle:?

Only on tuesdays.

Now seriously, don't you HAVE a Royal Family, and so on? o_O

Article I, Section 3 of the Spanish constitution:
The political form of the Spanish State is the parliamentary Monarchy.
http://www.servat.unibe.ch/icl/sp00000_.html

ir I reign in hell, do I have to have sex whith saddam hussein:fluffle:? and if I serve in heaven, are there only Mormons over there? :upyours: more info please

Satan: Why does it always have to be about sex, Saddam?
Saddam: ...I love you?

What's funny is that everyone who voted for "Reign in Hell" don't realize they're going to have to compete with each other for the title of El Diablo Supremo. And it's gonna be broadcast in the afterlife like one massive Reality Television Game Show.

While us working-class stiffs in Heaven get to watch, point and laugh.

:D

What's funny is that everyone who voted for "Reign in Hell" don't realize they're going to have to compete with each other for the title of El Diablo Supremo. And it's gonna be broadcast in the afterlife like one massive Reality Television Game Show.

While us working-class stiffs in Heaven get to watch, point and laugh.

:D

If we are going to be on tv, then no one cares how many people we are competing against, for the sole reason that, we are going to be on tv :D

and competition is always a bonus in my eyes :mp5:

Heaven = celestial imperialistic capitalist state


Lolwhat?

In what way does the Bible ever give the impression that Heaven is some sort of imperialist capitalist state? If anything, I'd be willing to call it communistic in nature, at least socially, though it is somewhat autocratic.

Seriously, Andaras, you grow more hilarious by the day.

Satan: Why does it always have to be about sex, Saddam?
Saddam: ...I love you?

Hey, he can't help it, it's in his name!

No matter how attractive or pleasurable vices may be, the smallest blisses of heaven are so great that -- were we to experience them now -- we would most probably perish from the magnitude of the sensation.

Furthermore, "damnation" implies an absolute lack of progress, so it seems improbable that any new and more delightful vices shall be invented by the damned at any future point.

I would choose to serve in heaven (the Latter Day Saint version of the concept).

Let me point a few things out for everybody:
1. To conquer heaven, you'd have to defeat God, the guy who invented physics and time. The guy who can create an infinite number of soldiers. The guy you can't sneak up on because he sees everything.

2. Hell is shitty. That's why going there is a punishment. The thermostat is set permanently at either center-of-sun or absolute zero, depending on where you are. You'd reign there, but you wouldn't rule all of it.

3. Jesus, being the son of the guy who invented everything, even inventing inventing, throws awesome parties. If the party needs it, it has it.

Let me point a few things out for everybody:
1. To conquer heaven, you'd have to defeat God, the guy who invented physics and time. The guy who can create an infinite number of soldiers. The guy you can't sneak up on because he sees everything.

2. Hell is shitty. That's why going there is a punishment. The thermostat is set permanently at either center-of-sun or absolute zero, depending on where you are. You'd reign there, but you wouldn't rule all of it.

3. Jesus, being the son of the guy who invented everything, even inventing inventing, throws awesome parties. If the party needs it, it has it.

Yeah, but the parties are too exclusive, they have a few bouncers who keep out the majority of the population just because they werent born into the same religion as their elitist group...

And, although he could create an infinite number of soldiers, due to his own creation, every one that was killed would end up fighting in the hellion army anyway (sounds like a great anime idea actually, lol) if not it would create a paradox, and traditionally paradoxes are the Anti-God, lol, and if you reigned, im sure you could figure out a way to fix the damned air conditioning, lol...

Besides, Jesus isnt the Comic Book Superman everyone makes him out to be, i dont think he would make anyone serve anything, the problem here is the Traditional viewpoint the thread takes, which changes the minds of the ones voting...To a Modern Viewer reading Paradise Lost, Lucifer looks like a hero, because Milton was writing to Glorify Monarchy and Condemn Dissension and Independence, because that was the society he grew up in...

1. To conquer heaven, you'd have to defeat God, the guy who invented physics and time. The guy who can create an infinite number of soldiers. The guy you can't sneak up on because he sees everything.


And who is utterly powerless to do anything to anyone in an iron chariot.

heaven i think

Heaven has good looking angel chicks

what has hell got?;)

Reign in Hell, since there are far more people(both good and bad) there then in Heaven. I could probably start a junior softball league or something, maybe add a few swimming pools... Chat with Buddha, maybe seek some of that enlightenment...

Besides, everyone is forced to be good in Heaven. IE: You're brainwashed, and not even the same person once your soul is cleansed. There would be no parties, and if there were, it would probably be pretty boring at them.

heaven i think

Heaven has good looking angel chicks

what has hell got?;)

Hell has better looking Slutty Demons...

Who wants a bunch of Virgins who cant have Sex with you because its a Sin...

itd be annoying as hell, lol...Feel sorry for all those Muslims expecting them Virgins to put out...

I hope I won't end up in neither. But if I am force into one I will check out heaven first. If it sucks I can always try out some crazy studs like insulting God so I get thrown into hell. Then at least I will be recognized when I am there.

Living in heaven will be nothing but constant fear, since we are talking about dealing with a dictator who have surveillance implanted into your mind to track every single thoughts you have, and can take away everything you thought you are promised to by kicking you to hell whenever he feels like it.

In hell, it's like living in a prison full of sadistic jail guards, who constantly trying to make you suffer because they have nothing else better to do. It's not like you can really fight back against Satan and his massive army of oppression anyway.

To experience a mild version of both in the same package here on earth, I suggest sneaking into North Korea. I know Kim Jong-il does not pack the kind of infinite vengeance that God has but it should give you a slight idea of how heaven would feel like.

Check out the video of one such heavenly experience.
http://www.vbs.tv/video.php?id=1438428757

Edit: Forgot to mention. To experience hell in North Korea, simply insult Kim Jong-il while you are there. Although North Korea jail guards cannot keep burning you without killing you in the process, I am sure you will have a good sense of what hell feels like before you die.

I know Kim Jong-il does not pack the kind of infinite vengeance that God has but it should give you a slight idea of how heaven would feel like.

THATS HOW THAT CRAZY FUCK GOT INTO POWER!!!!...It all makes since, he's in on the Agenda, lol...

If figurative, it could mean something like be the President of Iraq or a clerk in a first world office. In that case, I can see a lot of people choosing "hell". At least there you could make an impact, for better or for worse. People like their life to have some meaning.

...Or it's just the problem that if you think about it... Considering the number of religions and sub-religions (for lack of better word) out there, anyone getting to heaven is such a gamble that you'd probably end up there with only handful of people. And then those people are most likely overly religious nutjobs who would do nothing but praise the lord for eternity... To some it's heaven, to me it would be the real hell.

Eternal bliss is boring. When the words pop up they remind me of life on Xanax. Conflict is interesting, and you're only going to find that in hell.

Quoted for truth ^^

Reign in heaven. Eternal bliss means no pain and boredom is a form of pain. Therefore, eternal bliss lacks the pain of boredom.

Eternity is a long time. No, really, think about it... Unless heaven is some kind of eternal "be happy drug"-injection you will get bored.

Serve in heaven: the hours are nice (it's called heaven for a reason), the people are nice, everything's free, and you get to choose between wearing a kickass uniform, going casual, or going naked.

So heaven is communist's paradise? Someone should tell that to all the religious conservatives, they would flip!

reign in hell: It's hell. Everyone's a reject...

As we have no other authority to back this up with, let's go with Dante...

Outmost circle of hell consists of all the "good heathens", such as all the greek philosopher's (intellectual entertainment! Debate everything from heaven to hell with the great minds of old!). I'm quite sure that would be the place majority of people would land in, and as such the place would be full of interesting people. And a lot more uninteresting people of course, but compared to bible-thumping people going to heaven *shiver*

Apologies to anyone offended by my views of their future residence :p

Wow, that's a toughie. Especially considering either option requires me to take a demotion.

Well, in the first case I wouldn't really exist anymore (I'd be a lobotomized version of my former self. Because if I weren't, I'd feel pretty bad about all those people in hell; I'd have to be stripped of all my morals and sympathy to live an eternal blissful life, i.e. stripped of most of what makes me me.) In the latter case I'd be rather miserable, I'd imagine. So how about none of the above?

Considering most people I know would be in hell, I'd rather reign there.

Article I, Section 3 of the Spanish constitution:

http://www.servat.unibe.ch/icl/sp00000_.html

King Juan Carlos de Borbón (although considered to be the Chief of State) is nothing but a decorative figure in Spanish parliament. The true head of state is President Zapatero.

We have a parliamentary government reinstated after the death of Franco. The political system is democratic socialist.

Now seriously, don't you HAVE a Royal Family, and so on? o_O

Yes, we do. But so does England, Holland and Portugal. But the royal family doesn't truly rule the day to day politics and government in Spain.

Yes, we do. But so does England, Holland and Portugal. But the royal family doesn't truly rule the day to day politics and government in Spain.


England and Holland, yes.
Portugal, no.

The closest living relative Portugal has to the old royal family is only a Duke and he's nothing more than a common socialite.

England and Holland, yes.
Portugal, no.

The closest living relative Portugal has to the old royal family is only a Duke and he's nothing more than a common socialite.

I stand corrected with Portugal.

Heaven sounds more than a bit boring tbh, so if Heaven really is the dull place set out by alot of christians, I think I might just stay in limbo..

Yes, we do. But so does England, Holland and Portugal. But the royal family doesn't truly rule the day to day politics and government in Spain.

Pero por favor, no piense que yó no sé eso! :)

Pero por favor, no piense que yó no sé eso! :)

Claro coisa. Eu não acho que você não sabe.

Sort of a spin off of the eternity thread; would you rather serve in heaven or reign in hell? Presuming of course both exist.

Too bad no one reigns in hell. :)

Besides, all the sorrow and darkness there would be quite a bummer on all the "fun" party times. I'd rather be enjoying a new heaven and earth, being busy having fun, enjoying an eternal feast at the table of G-d.

To quote Billy Joel: "I'd rather laugh with the sinners than sing with the saints. The sinners are much more fun."

If the requirements to get into heaven are as strict as it would seem from the Bible, it would be so empty it would get boring. Yet hell would be so full that it would be difficult to reign over. Can I go to purgatory?