NationStates Jolt Archive

I learned that God invented abortion.

What have you learned?

That women are insane

That men are problem solvers. We see a problem, and we fix it. That how I am, and that's how my dad is. Which is probably why women don't talk to us men very often...we don't just to want to talk, we want to work on things and fix things.

Some people should never ever be parents. For those people, abortion would be the better alternative than actually carrying the child to term.

I'm balding and my lady friend has gray hairs (I'm 24 and she's 23). Stress is a bitch.

I learned that I spend too much time on the Internet.



No, wait. I learn that everyday.

I learned that God invented abortion.

What have you learned?

I learned that when a coworker thinks it's a good idea to reply to you (in disdain) "Who are you?", and you reply "Ask your momma and her coated muffins.", and he replies "Ah she never met you.", and you reply "Well, true, she was looking the other way - but i doubt she would remember me after all the donkey punches.", you usually can have your way with them the rest of the day just so you don't demonstrate that sort of unkindness again.

I learned that when a coworker thinks it's a good idea to reply to you (in disdain) "Who are you?", and you reply "Ask your momma and her coated muffins.", and he replies "Ah she never met you.", and you reply "Well, true, she was looking the other way - but i doubt she would remember me after all the donkey punches.", you usually can have your way with them the rest of the day just so you don't demonstrate that sort of unkindness again.

Is this a common occurrence for you?

Is this a common occurrence for you?
What, muffins, donkey punches, or work?
Depends.

I have learned that without constant supervision, Little Goofball will mummify the television remote in Play-Doh.

How thick was the Play-Doh?

I learned that people despise me and I despise them too, but the difference is I generally have a bigger penis.

I learned that people despise me and I despise them too, but the difference is I generally have a bigger penis.

*psh* Please...there's nothing more pathetic than a guy who thinks they have the bigger penis.

I have learned that without constant supervision, Little Goofball will mummify the television remote in Play-Doh.

*psh* Please...there's nothing more pathetic than a guy who thinks they have the bigger penis.

I suppose that might be true if he were incorrect.

How thick was the Play-Doh?

Not very. He only used the yellow can.

What, muffins, donkey punches, or work?
Depends.

Muffins, duh.
Say, I was writing your address on the package and all of a sudden I noticed, "1234" .. If the package is returned to me, I will track you down and force you to watch me re-gift your gifts. *snarl*

Not very. He only used the yellow can.

Then he didn't try hard enough! He should've had your TV remote multi-colored mummified!

Muffins, duh.
Say, I was writing your address on the package and all of a sudden I noticed, "1234" .. If the package is returned to me, I will track you down and force you to watch me re-gift your gifts. *snarl*
It isn't, lamentably.
'tis true, that #. *nods*

It isn't, lamentably.
'tis true, that #. *nods*

Why would you laminate a muffin? :confused:
*eyes suspiciously*

I have learned that without constant supervision, Little Goofball will mummify the television remote in Play-Doh.

Just be happy it wasn't silly putty.

I learned that sequoias and redwoods are two different types of tree.

EDIT: And I just learned I might be wrong.

Then he didn't try hard enough! He should've had your TV remote multi-colored mummified!

If he had the time, who knows? I have learned the dangers of leaving him alone for more than about 2 minutes with anything of a constructive nature.

I leared that people despise me and I despise them too, but the difference is I generally have a bigger penis.

well, most guys do

total population: 1.01 male(s)/female (2008 est.)


you only have to be in the top 99.5%...

source: https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/geos/xx.html#People

Why would you laminate a muffin? :confused:
*eyes suspiciously*"Laminate"?
Ask Pauly Shore.
As he put it .... "I told my sister ... if she lays out the donuts, I'm gonna glaze 'em."

Just be happy it wasn't silly putty.
Or that wonderful Mighty Putty!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkuReA-AGa8
....which, yes, i learned about today.

Or that wonderful Mighty Putty!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkuReA-AGa8
....which, yes, i learned about today.

And they claim we can't build a space elevator…

I learned that there is apparently damn near nothing I can do to my computer that my husband isn't willing to spend 12 hours and skip dinner to fix.

Things I've learned today:
1. How much it sucks to be turned away from your job because it's slow as hell and they don't need you to work (seriously, when the hell did my job turn into a labor pool?)
2. That being a teenager makes you less valuable to your employer.
3. A bunch of tactical stuff
4. That the British House of Commons has some really strange traditions

Things I've learned today:
1. How much it sucks to be turned away from your job because it's slow as hell and they don't need you to work (seriously, when the hell did my job turn into a labor pool?)
2. That being a teenager makes you less valuable to your employer.
3. A bunch of tactical stuff
4. That the British House of Commons has some really strange traditions

Supermarket job?

close, fast food. Pays well enough but the idiots in corporate (who apparently failed or never took High School Economics) decided the best thing to do in the midst of a recession is go "HAY GUYS, LET'S RAISE OUR PRICES!!!!!!!111" so the customers stop coming and business tanks.

I have learned that without constant supervision, Little Goofball will mummify the television remote in Play-Doh.

I'm surprised it wasn't mud.

I learned that earmuffs and the calculator and the trampoline were invented by children.

I realized that I cannot commit suicide.

close, fast food. Pays well enough but the idiots in corporate (who apparently failed or never took High School Economics) decided the best thing to do in the midst of a recession is go "HAY GUYS, LET'S RAISE OUR PRICES!!!!!!!111" so the customers stop coming and business tanks.

They have bills too. Everything is getting more expensive.

That women are insane.

You just learnt this today :confused:

As for your grey hairs relax mate. Maybe it is your body making you seem older as you now won't lose your youth from having children since you have had the snippity snip ;)

I learnt today, that my son has picked up the same aggresive nature while playing soccer as I have. *wipes tear from eye*

I learned that anything can become a flash cartoon.

Up next: The Obaminator vs The Governator

Soon, we may have the Presinator vs the Governator, but we know who wins that fight.

I learned that people despise me and I despise them too, but the difference is I generally have a bigger penis.

Boring, grating, tedious.

I learned that Women suck.


...heh for irony and puns...noone knows what I mean by that statement...nobody but me...hehehe

That university is rather dull when everyone else has left for the holidays.

How piss poor New Zealand are at cricket, only matched by the utter pishness of James Anderson. Shoulda bowled them all for 135, really.

You just learnt this today :confused:

As for your grey hairs relax mate. Maybe it is your body making you seem older as you now won't lose your youth from having children since you have had the snippity snip ;)

No I'm the one who's balding. She's the one with gray hairs. Like I said, Stress is a bitch.

I learned the names of several recently-drafted hockey players.

I'm surprised it wasn't mud.

Despite several well-designed plans, my wife still hasn't approved mud for indoor use. :(

that Lagrange multipliers make me angry

Expanding my knowledge of female genitalia, it has come to my attention that there is an area between the vulva and the anus which is called "perineum". Might be worth memorizing...

I learned that Battlefields (http://www.myspace.com/battlefieldsdoom) is not only a very nice band to see live on stage, but the intelligent sludge/post-metal sounds pretty good on cd too. That was €10 well spend.

that Lagrange multipliers make me angry

Does that have something to do with ZZ Top?

that this article (http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/06/20/teacher.cross/index.html) is aleady on FSTDT :(

I learned the true meaning of Summer Solstice.

I learned about infatuation, yet again.:(

I learned the true meaning of Summer Solstice.
Really?

Been to any of the proper crazy Pagan deallies?

I learned that my cat actually dóes eat his eat his prey sometimes, apart from 2 feathers that is. I was eating tortilla's, he was eating sparrow.

I learned that my uncle is still smoking weed at 48.

And it's not even good weed at that.

Today I learned the same thing that I learn everyday:

I should have stood in bed. (*yawn*)

Today I learned the same thing that I learn everyday:

I should have stood in bed. (*yawn*)

When I stand in bed, my head bounces off the ceiling. Damn attic.

i learned that i have "tone of voice issues", seriously it's a real problem:p

I've learned today (6/21/08) that sometimes, going out with a Lesbian isn't worth it. Especially if the lesbian is related to the guy your lady friend was dating.

Short story is this: Summer of '04, dated a lesbian who was confused about her sexuality, we dated, kissed goodnight (french, go me) and never talked after she said she was 100% Lesbian. Fast forward to Summer of '08 former bf of lady friend is now saying that the lesbian said that I forced myself on her, and when I wouldn't accept "No" we had a fight. So now it created a whole new drama that's undoubtedly causing me to lose more hair and to cause more gray hair for my lady friend.

No matter how dumb you think Lou Dobbs is, he'll always find a new way to be stupid.;)

I've learned today (6/21/08) that sometimes, going out with a Lesbian isn't worth it. Especially if the lesbian is related to the guy your lady friend was dating.

Short story is this: Summer of '04, dated a lesbian who was confused about her sexuality, we dated, kissed goodnight (french, go me) and never talked after she said she was 100% Lesbian. Fast forward to Summer of '08 former bf of lady friend is now saying that the lesbian said that I forced myself on her, and when I wouldn't accept "No" we had a fight. So now it created a whole new drama that's undoubtedly causing me to lose more hair and to cause more gray hair for my lady friend.

thats an icky story, sounds like a head F***

thats an icky story, sounds like a head F***

Yea, of the three of us, (myself, the lez, and the former bf) I think the former bf is lying.

Boring, grating, tedious.

Put the appropriate digits into your ear-holes and hum really loudly.

Ignoring me has always been your primary defense against every argument I make - why stop now?

Yesterday I learned that there is no way to move a macaroni collage that doesn't end with the floor covered in crunchy bits. Damn those crunchy bits! Damn them, I say!

Today I learned that it is a bad idea to sneeze while wearing really tight pants.

And they claim we can't build a space elevator…
It's that contemptible anti-elevator conspiracy.

Expanding my knowledge of female genitalia, it has come to my attention that there is an area between the vulva and the anus which is called "perineum". Might be worth memorizing...
I learned that there really are appropriate contextual situations for mentioning Goatse (other than just wearing a shirt about him in public)

Wifey learned that otters regurgitate, camels have screwy looking upper lips, and wolves don't generally handle Amur tigers being put right next to their territory.

I just learned it's warm outside.

I have learned that Ruffy must be a darling of the post office :p

I have learned that Ruffy must be a darling of the post office :p
And how, praytell, did you learn that? o.9
I learned it would've been pretty intense to have had to live through October 22-28, 1962.