NationStates Jolt Archive

So as another year (for me) has come and gone, I'm at the stage in my life where I have the luxury of being a kid at times and an adult at others. It's quite enjoyable and I can honestly say that, at the expense of sounding ridiculous (or like the citizens of your city in CIV IV when you click to read the happiness rating of the city) , I just love life.

I am fortunate and I know that, but I also take advantage of opportunities that other people are generally apathetic about. In this past year I've been lucky enough to travel to multiple European countries, been able to do some studying abroad, met many of America's rich, powerful and political (for security reasons I won't say who exactly but not small fish), made money working, recieved excellent grades, made new friends at my university, had an amazing year at my university, had sex with multiple women from various counries, smoked pot every once in a while, drank (more than every once in a while), got invited to Washington D.C. for the 2009 Inauguration, been to multiple American states, and on a personal scale, think I've become a much better person. I take much more personal responsibility, respect people more and generally don't let things get to me. I pride myself on being able to just let stuff go and not get worked up over things.

I have an excellent family that supports me. Without them none of this would be possible.

I know I'm going to have a very good year coming up and I meet it knowing that all the exciting posibilities and adventures that await me are soon to come. :)

But honestly, I also want to know about you. Thinking about all this has made me realize how lucky and how happy I am, and I would like to know how others view their past year for them, their life up until now and the way things are going.

When you think about the life you've lived and the life you're going to live, how do you feel?

I have a good life full of friends and loved ones :p

yep.

Excellent first responses. I'm in a very happy mood. :) I hope both your lives continue to be happy and full.
I have a good life full of friends and loved ones :p
yep.

Am I happy with my life? Yes. Yes I am. I've nothing to complain about other then, of course, the COMMIES! Darn commies....:D

Am I happy with my life? Yes. Yes I am. I've nothing to complain about other then, of course, the COMMIES! Darn commies....:D
Hehehe...no problems right now. Commies are people too...but I can't promise I'll admit that on another day when I'm not so happy and in such a good mood.:D

To the person that voted negative and negative...why, exactly?

To the person that voted negative and negative...why, exactly?

I'd rather not elaborate...

It would be a mood killer.

Edit: Oh, I have a little buddy in the depressed slot now :D

I'd rather not elaborate...

It would be a mood killer.

Edit: Oh, I have a little buddy in the depressed slot now :D
Suit yourself....but I did start this thread with the intention of hearing other's people's stories too.

Only if you want.

Suit yourself....but I did start this thread with the intention of hearing other's people's stories too.

Only if you want.

Well, I just don't think being depressed is a good excuse for trying to bring everyone else down from their high. I violate this rule from time to time, but I usually end up regretting it, so I figure I shouldn't bother with wallowing in my own sorrow and start getting used to it.

Pretty amazing, I'm making a bunch of money, start college in the fall. And after I graduate I can make even more money.

Pretty amazing, I'm making a bunch of money, start college in the fall. And after I graduate I can make even more money.
What are you gonna major in?
Well, I just don't think being depressed is a good excuse for trying to bring everyone else down from their high. I violate this rule from time to time, but I usually end up regretting it, so I figure I shouldn't bother with wallowing in my own sorrow and start getting used to it.
Perhaps start with why you're depressed, isolate that and work to improve your life from there. Why are you depressed?

I'm not going to lie. Life is challenging. But staying positive and looking at the big picture sure helps.

Sometimes, the college years where you're broke and tired from trying to work can get you down. But I got lucky and landed a job forcing me to help others, which puts my troubles in perspective. On the not so major side.

Perhaps start with why you're depressed, isolate that and work to improve your life from there. Why are you depressed?

Probably because I'm a worthless piece of garbage, in a landfill of my own making.

There's really nothing I can do about that at this point, so I figure I will try my best to rot in peace and not disturb my betters.

Probably because I'm a worthless piece of garbage, in a landfill of my own making.

There's really nothing I can do about that at this point, so I figure I will try my best to rot in peace and not disturb my betters.
Obviously looking at it that way doesn't help. Don't you remember a time when you weren't depressed? Now think of what lead to your depression. Try and reverse that.
I'm not going to lie. Life is challenging. But staying positive and looking at the big picture sure helps.

Sometimes, the college years where you're broke and tired from trying to work can get you down. But I got lucky and landed a job forcing me to help others, which puts my troubles in perspective. On the not so major side.
Stay positive :) Good find on that job. Hopefully what you are studying will help you make more money once you leave college. :)

Honestly, I've just stopped caring. I don't how things will be in a couple months, and frankly I don't care.

My life is an empty pit devoid of meaning. I am going to die alone surrounded by empty Ben&Jerry's cartons, probably with NSG still glowing on my computer screen. I will never get hired, no one will ever love me again, a hurricane will probably hit my house, etc etc. I might as well just go eat worms. Why doesn't Ben&Jerry's make something with worms? Because they hate me.

*and other such gloomery*

Obviously looking at it that way doesn't help. Don't you remember a time when you weren't depressed? Now think of what lead to your depression. Try and reverse that.


You're getting it all backward, I'm depressed because I'm worthless, not the other way around. I'm a sick, evil person with no skills or ability to contribute. If I had the motivation required to increase said skills I would still fail, or at least progress so slowly that I would be a drain on resources. However, I don't get any pleasure from trying to gain these new skills, so I just get tired before I can make any progress at all.

Everything I do pretty much just gets in the way of competent, intelligent people.

My life is an empty pit devoid of meaning. I am going to die alone surrounded by empty Ben&Jerry's cartons, probably with NSG still glowing on my computer screen. I will never get hired, no one will ever love me again, a hurricane will probably hit my house, etc etc. I might as well just go eat worms. Why doesn't Ben&Jerry's make something with worms? Because they hate me.

*and other such gloomery*

You know your sarcasm just makes people with real problems feel even worse, right?

I'm getting there.

You're getting it all backward, I'm depressed because I'm worthless, not the other way around. I'm a sick, evil person with no skills or ability to contribute. If I had the motivation required to increase said skills I would still fail, or at least progress so slowly that I would be a drain on resources. However, I don't get any pleasure from trying to gain these new skills, so I just get tired before I can make any progress at all.

Everything I do pretty much just gets in the way of competent, intelligent people.


Why does that depress you? That should make you feel better. The reality is everyone is worthless, they just have an illusion they are not. Think about it. Even the President, famous people, etc could all die and life would go on. You should revel in mediocrity. I love the fact not a damn thing I do matters.

You know your sarcasm just makes people with real problems feel even worse, right?
I don't think he was being sarcastic.

My life is an empty pit devoid of meaning. I am going to die alone surrounded by empty Ben&Jerry's cartons, probably with NSG still glowing on my computer screen. I will never get hired, no one will ever love me again, a hurricane will probably hit my house, etc etc. I might as well just go eat worms. Why doesn't Ben&Jerry's make something with worms? Because they hate me.

*and other such gloomery*

Ah, come on... You'll get over it. Eventually.

Why does that depress you? That should make you feel better. The reality is everyone is worthless, they just have an illusion they are not. Think about it. Even the President, famous people, etc could all die and life would go on. You should revel in mediocrity. I love the fact not a damn thing I do matters.

No, I am more than mediocre, I am also evil. Everything that gives me pleasure is destructive or sadistic. It isn't that I don't contribute enough (it's that too though), it's that when I do contribute the effect is damaging. I would be perfectly happy if I liked being a slimy bastard, but I would rather be a useful member of society with something of real value to contribute.

Furthermore, I judge myself by my accomplishments, I can't change that (I've tried). I envy your ability to numb your cares and worries away.

Edit: Also, the tone of your post made me me think of this

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"


I don't think he was being sarcastic.

If she wasn't then she needs to be more rational. If your going to be depressed you should make an honest assessment of your life, anything else is just being depressed for the sake of it.

Thinking Ben&Jerry's refuses to make worm ice cream because they hate you is completely ridiculous.

She's just making a mockery of those who have legitimate concerns about their life, intended or otherwise.

When will you guys realise that Ryadn isn't a guy? Sheesh.

When will you guys realise that Ryadn isn't a guy? Sheesh.

I just assumed Soviestan knew...

I have edited my post to correct that though.

The last couple months have been great.

However, the months before that make me wanna stab you in the face.

The last couple months have been great.
Excellent!
However, the last couple of months make me wanna stab you in the face.
Why?
No, I am more than mediocre, I am also evil. Everything that gives me pleasure is destructive or sadistic. It isn't that I don't contribute enough (it's that too though), it's that when I do contribute the effect is damaging. I would be perfectly happy if I liked being a slimy bastard, but I would rather be a useful member of society with something of real value to contribute.

Furthermore, I judge myself by my accomplishments, I can't change that (I've tried). I envy your ability to numb your cares and worries away.
Surely you have some skill that you could if not use then devolep until you could use it to become a useful member of society.

Edit: Also, the tone of your post made me me think of this

"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
CIV IV is awesome. I love it too.


You're getting it all backward, I'm depressed because I'm worthless, not the other way around. I'm a sick, evil person with no skills or ability to contribute. If I had the motivation required to increase said skills I would still fail, or at least progress so slowly that I would be a drain on resources. However, I don't get any pleasure from trying to gain these new skills, so I just get tired before I can make any progress at all.
You won't know that you'll fail until you try to increase said skill and try to put it to good work, towards productivity.

No, I am more than mediocre, I am also evil. Everything that gives me pleasure is destructive or sadistic. It isn't that I don't contribute enough (it's that too though), it's that when I do contribute the effect is damaging. I would be perfectly happy if I liked being a slimy bastard, but I would rather be a useful member of society with something of real value to contribute.

That's sort of my point though. "useful member of society" is basically an illusion. Who's to say who's more useful than whom? At the end of the day someone who works a subsistence job and never leaves their hometown ends up the exact same way as a hot shot jetsetter. Accomplishments are largely bs because they really don't affect much of anything.

I envy your ability to numb your cares and worries away.
meh.


If she wasn't then she needs to be more rational. If your going to be depressed you should make an honest assessment of your life, anything else is just being depressed for the sake of it.

Thinking Ben&Jerry's refuses to make worm ice cream because they hate you is completely ridiculous.

She's just making a mockery of those who have legitimate concerns about their life, intended or otherwise.
sometimes mocking and laughing at one's situation is the best way to get through things. I can't count the number of times I've laughed at the comedy-of-errors that is my life.

My life has been pretty average - some good, some bad. I think the good outweighs the bad somewhat. I was able to retire before I was sixty with an adequate, though not extravagent income. I live in an adequate house, which is paid for and drive an adequate car, which is, again, paid for. I have enough to go to baseball games, movies, out to eat periodically and take classes if the whim takes me. I'm not wealthy, but I'm quite a bit better off than most.

So, in spite of a failed marriage and some hard times, things aren't at all bad.

heh...looks like I'm the only one in that category...well....lets make it short and sweet....life sucked...I've been sent to a mental ward. I've been arrested. beaten, been around death, nearly killed someone, all in my first 17 years of life...now I'm comin up on the eighteenth year....and you know what...I survived it all...I beat it all...I graduate this coming year, I'm moving out to a girl I love....and...things could be absolutely wonderful....so....cheers to where I've been.....and praise to whats to come.

:mp5:
:mp5:
:sniper:
:mp5:
:mp5:

Excellent!
Indeed.
Why?
I was in school. *shudder* I hate that place.

To make things worse, I was still thinking I was going back to Alberta for the summer to work in the tar sands. This means I basically spent the last half of the summer not smoking pot so I could pass a drug test.

Add to that, the fact that the months I am in school I rarely see any of my friends, and you should see why I would want to stab you in the face.

Don't worry, I'm over it. :)

That's sort of my point though. "useful member of society" is basically an illusion. Who's to say who's more useful than whom? At the end of the day someone who works a subsistence job and never leaves their hometown ends up the exact same way as a hot shot jetsetter. Accomplishments are largely bs because they really don't affect much of anything.

meh.

If no one sought acceptance in they eyes of their peers then I think people would make little progress. I see consequences as significant not because they are, but because it is pragmatic to see them as such.

Also, even if people end up dead they have made a mark, measurable or no. They raise children, they record discoveries, they build monuments. Even if it is all futile, at the end of the day they can say they tried, that they did something to add to the human legacy.

To dismiss everything as being unimportant is a subjective opinion in and of itself. Just because you are incapable of seeing meaning does not mean there is no meaning, and it doesn't help anyone to make that assumption.

Edit: Also, you seem to be misinterpreting my idea of acomplishment...

sometimes mocking and laughing at one's situation is the best why to get through things. I can't count the number of times I've laughed at the comedy-of-errors that is my life.

Fair enough...

Edit:


CIV IV is awesome. I love it too.


I like the game too, which is how I know why you made a connection between the game and that quote. However, I was talking about the poem...

Life has been neither good nor bad for me. I'm happy to be living the way my will and nature dictate, without many compromises. The consequences of my unwillingness to compromise have been alternatively damaging and rewarding in different ways and at different times, but I live the way I like to live, and that's what matters.

You know your sarcasm just makes people with real problems feel even worse, right?

...I'm a new teacher in a city where no one is hiring, I'm flat broke, my parents are in the last chapter of a 14-year divorce, I'm battling an eating disorder, I just broke up with the love of my life after 5 years, and I've already tried to kill myself once. I've been on antidepressants for 8 years and I still think about killing myself almost every day. Don't assume shit.

When will you guys realise that Ryadn isn't a guy? Sheesh.

Thank you! You pay attention. I'm all irrational and emotional and womanish, too, you'd think people would get it!

If she wasn't then she needs to be more rational. If your going to be depressed you should make an honest assessment of your life, anything else is just being depressed for the sake of it.

Thinking Ben&Jerry's refuses to make worm ice cream because they hate you is completely ridiculous.

She's just making a mockery of those who have legitimate concerns about their life, intended or otherwise.

I can't be depressed and irreverent at the same time? Sometimes the only joy comes from mocking how pathetic you are. I have taken many honest assessments of my life far more bleak than what I posted, but NSG is not my blog and I do not have a penchant for black nail polish and spiky girl mullets, so I gave a more flippant (but still quite sincere) report.

Seriously, if me making jokes is upsetting you, you're not depressed enough.

sometimes mocking and laughing at one's situation is the best way to get through things. I can't count the number of times I've laughed at the comedy-of-errors that is my life.

Self-mockery is the only way I've managed to live with being possibly the clumsiest, most directionally challenged person ever born, among other things. There are only so many times you can get pissed off/upset about running into a door/getting lost for an hour IN YOUR OWN CITY before you just laugh.

...I'm a new teacher in a city where no one is hiring, I'm flat broke, my parents are in the last chapter of a 14-year divorce, I'm battling an eating disorder, I just broke up with the love of my life after 5 years, and I've already tried to kill myself once. I've been on antidepressants for 8 years and I still think about killing myself almost every day. Don't assume shit.

I apologize, your post just seemed to be in a joking tone rather than a serious one.

I shouldn't have made that assumption based on the (perceived) tone of your post alone. I'm sorry if I upset you.

I hope you can forgive my indiscretion.

I can't be depressed and irreverent at the same time? Sometimes the only joy comes from mocking how pathetic you are. I have taken many honest assessments of my life far more bleak than what I posted, but NSG is not my blog and I do not have a penchant for black nail polish and spiky girl mullets, so I gave a more flippant (but still quite sincere) report.

Seriously, if me making jokes is upsetting you, you're not depressed enough.

Self-mockery is the only way I've managed to live with being possibly the clumsiest, most directionally challenged person ever born, among other things. There are only so many times you can get pissed off/upset about running into a door/getting lost for an hour IN YOUR OWN CITY before you just laugh.

Once again, fair enough...

I guess have never really understood humor. I take things very seriously, I just can't help it I guess. I don't deal well with reading in between the lines and take everything literally, which tends to make me very annoying...

It's not that the jokes upset me, what I (incorrectly) perceived your intentions to be upset me.

I apologize, your post just seemed to be in a joking tone rather than a serious one.

I shouldn't have made that assumption based on the (perceived) tone of your post alone. I'm sorry if I upset you.

I hope you can forgive my indiscretion.

S'all right. You didn't upset me much, and you couldn't really make my day worse! Unless you took my last pint of ice cream.

Poll sucks.
redundantredunDantredundantREdundantreDUNdantredunDANT
Jury's still out.

...I'm a new teacher in a city where no one is hiring, I'm flat broke, my parents are in the last chapter of a 14-year divorce, I'm battling an eating disorder, I just broke up with the love of my life after 5 years, and I've already tried to kill myself once. I've been on antidepressants for 8 years and I still think about killing myself almost every day. Please don't. :(

Jury's still out.

Your life has been kind of meh and it will continue in a somewhat hmm fashion?

Please don't. :(

Don't worry, I tried ages ago when I was a dumb kid (as opposed to now when I am a dumb adult (supposedly) who just acts like a kid). And if I ever do, I will not make an angsty NSG farewell post, I promise! I feel pathetic a lot, but never that pathetic. Plus if something went wrong and I lived... there's just no escaping that kind of mockery.

Your life has been kind of meh and it will continue in a somewhat hmm fashion?I could never say boring, if that's what you mean by "meh" .... that whole "lucky" thing (or my misunderstanding of conditions and circumstance).

Don't worry, I tried ages ago when I was a dumb kid (as opposed to now when I am a dumb adult (supposedly) who just acts like a kid). And if I ever do, I will not make an angsty NSG farewell post, I promise! I feel pathetic a lot, but never that pathetic. Plus if something went wrong and I lived... there's just no escaping that kind of mockery.I'd just rather you didn't do yourself in. Every moment and thought is an opportunity.

Don't worry, I tried ages ago when I was a dumb kid (as opposed to now when I am a dumb adult (supposedly) who just acts like a kid). And if I ever do, I will not make an angsty NSG farewell post, I promise! I feel pathetic a lot, but never that pathetic. Plus if something went wrong and I lived... there's just no escaping that kind of mockery.

I would prefer it if you made the angsty post so people would have time to reason with you a convince you to choose life. Then again, just as many people would make fun of you, but you should just ignore them anyway.

I would prefer it if you made the angsty post so people would have time to reason with you a convince you to choose life. Then again, just as many people would make fun of you, but you should just ignore them anyway.

No offense, but no way. That's sad. I would make fun of me, even. I will just go with Straughn's idea and stay in the land of the living for the time being. Plus I have to see who wins the Euro.

You think I'm being blase again, but I'm not (entirely). Sports have honest to god kept me alive at times, specifically hockey. As a good friend of mine likes to say: Some people find God; I found hockey. :p

Life sucks. It can't be reversed either, because then it'd just blow instead. It isn't like to improve any.

It could be a lot worse. I might not the millionaire cancer-curing soccer star king of the world that I predicted aged nine but I think things are pretty good.

Some people find God; I found hockey. :p

*is confused as to the difference*

My life has had its ups and downs. My upbringing wasn't the most pleasant, living in poverty on a small farm in rural Michigan with an abusive father. My time in the active military was fun other than the whole "Iraq" thing. College has been a blast, especially my semester in France. Of course, the pendulum swings and out of economic necessity I had to jump onto another Iraq deployment with the Michigan Guard. Of course, I'm stationed in Kuwait so it isn't nearly as bad as my last deployment in 2003. I'll be moving back to France for a year in 2010 so the pendulum will swing again, hopefully.

There isn't an appropriate poll option: Life has been a mixed bag since day 1 and is likely to continue that way.

Years ago when I first started work, I had to visit a number of old people's homes and I was struck by the sight of all these folks sitting in chairs unable to do anything much but reminisce. It was a revelation to me - the worst thing i can imagine is being in their place, still mentally with it, unable to do anything but reflect on all the things I didn't do when I had the chance. So the one thing I can say today is that if I died now, I'd die satisfied with the amount of living (good and bad) I've packed into my years. Now I just have to keep it up...

The past couple of years have been great for me. I graduated from my Masters with a distinction (the only one in the year and the only full-time student to get one in the, albeit short, history of the course). I'm doing a PhD on a topic I love, and getting funded for it. I recently won the British Psychological Society Division of Forensic Psychology Junior Award for my work and will be presenting it at 3 different conferences this year (all in the space of three weeks, that will be exhausting). And my supervisor is talking about ideas for Post-doctoral research (assuming we can get the funding).

Life if good and looks like it's going to continue that way.

Obviously looking at it that way doesn't help. Don't you remember a time when you weren't depressed? Now think of what lead to your depression. Try and reverse that.

I love how you assume that anyone depressed started out not depressed. It doesn't work like that for a lot of people. I've never, not since my first memories from when I was in kindergarten, been a normal, happy kid, and I know other people in the same situation. I've always had the same personality; there is no tragic event or poor choices or whatever that shaped my life into what it is.

So what's the miracle cure for that? Brain transplant?

You're getting it all backward, I'm depressed because I'm worthless, not the other way around. I'm a sick, evil person with no skills or ability to contribute. If I had the motivation required to increase said skills I would still fail, or at least progress so slowly that I would be a drain on resources. However, I don't get any pleasure from trying to gain these new skills, so I just get tired before I can make any progress at all.

Your spelling and grammar is good, that's something.

No, I am more than mediocre, I am also evil. Everything that gives me pleasure is destructive or sadistic. It isn't that I don't contribute enough (it's that too though), it's that when I do contribute the effect is damaging. I would be perfectly happy if I liked being a slimy bastard, but I would rather be a useful member of society with something of real value to contribute.

You would rather be better, that's something.


Hmm, you could be a mild-mannered secretary by day and a demolition worker at night....

My life has been so great, I occasionally give direct thanks to G-d for it. I grew up in a happy, supportive family, had two parents who worked hard so we have never been short on money, gone to good schools (thanks to the aforementioned money), had the opportunity to travel the globe... my life is awesome.

My future looks good, too. I've undone the damage I did to myself last semester (in the grades area), and there shouldn't be anything stopping me from graduating in three or four years.

As for The Shifting Mist, if you're a sadist, might I suggest teaching as a career?

Looking back, pretty much exaclty the first half was total crap, and still leaves a lot of emotional and mental ballast for me to work through.
The second half was better, with still a lot of crap happening.

Now, it's definitely looking up, with enough physical and emotional distance from all the crap I had to go through :)

As for The Shifting Mist, if you're a sadist, might I suggest teaching as a career?

Specifically, first year math at a university. Teach one of those classes everyone is required to take and give lots of homework.

this past year? well my love life is still great and i'm still with the girl i love (yay Glitzi!), my social life is picking up again bit by bit, though i still have some problems being super-nervous around friends (damn social anxiety)

but my work life is still horribly stressful, worrying and intimidating on a daily basis. and my monetary situation isn't that good either (i'm too generous :rolleyes: )... but my new car is still good even if it does rattle annoyingly in parts.

however, i can look to the future with some hesitant optimism. my g/f should be moving to my town in October (and i have to start looking for a flat), we've set up a number of good contracts in work which should help raise the sales value of the business, we've got a small home gym now so i can work on getting healthier, and we're going on holiday in September (ok its Centre Parcs but its still a holiday...). so things, on balance, are kinda just about looking up :)

If I say no do I get my money back?

Life so far has been rather meh. I don't particularly want to end it, but the experience has not been worth the time invested in it so far.
As for the future, it will get better, but it isn't realistic to expect it will get much better, so I am cautiously optimistic.

I love how you assume that anyone depressed started out not depressed. It doesn't work like that for a lot of people. I've never, not since my first memories from when I was in kindergarten, been a normal, happy kid, and I know other people in the same situation. I've always had the same personality; there is no tragic event or poor choices or whatever that shaped my life into what it is.

So what's the miracle cure for that? Brain transplant?
Isn't there something then that you like to do and focus yourself on that? You must have some kind of interest / hobby.
The past couple of years have been great for me. I graduated from my Masters with a distinction (the only one in the year and the only full-time student to get one in the, albeit short, history of the course). I'm doing a PhD on a topic I love, and getting funded for it. I recently won the British Psychological Society Division of Forensic Psychology Junior Award for my work and will be presenting it at 3 different conferences this year (all in the space of three weeks, that will be exhausting). And my supervisor is talking about ideas for Post-doctoral research (assuming we can get the funding).

Life if good and looks like it's going to continue that way.
Excellent to hear. Congrats!:)
My life has been so great, I occasionally give direct thanks to G-d for it. I grew up in a happy, supportive family, had two parents who worked hard so we have never been short on money, gone to good schools (thanks to the aforementioned money), had the opportunity to travel the globe... my life is awesome.

My future looks good, too. I've undone the damage I did to myself last semester (in the grades area), and there shouldn't be anything stopping me from graduating in three or four years.
A strong family is part of the key to happiness and sucess. :)
Looking back, pretty much exaclty the first half was total crap, and still leaves a lot of emotional and mental ballast for me to work through.
The second half was better, with still a lot of crap happening.

Now, it's definitely looking up, with enough physical and emotional distance from all the crap I had to go through :)
But now if I recall you're really happy with the way things are going with your boyfriend/husband (?). Am I correct?:)
this past year? well my love life is still great and i'm still with the girl i love (yay Glitzi!), my social life is picking up again bit by bit, though i still have some problems being super-nervous around friends (damn social anxiety)

but my work life is still horribly stressful, worrying and intimidating on a daily basis. and my monetary situation isn't that good either (i'm too generous :rolleyes: )... but my new car is still good even if it does rattle annoyingly in parts.

however, i can look to the future with some hesitant optimism. my g/f should be moving to my town in October (and i have to start looking for a flat), we've set up a number of good contracts in work which should help raise the sales value of the business, we've got a small home gym now so i can work on getting healthier, and we're going on holiday in September (ok its Centre Parcs but its still a holiday...). so things, on balance, are kinda just about looking up :)
Good to see that you're still with her and your relationship should only get better as she moves closer to you and you bond in ways you just can't do that well over a long distance relationship.:)

Eh, it's not bad. Got running water and electricity, as well as a few mates. Not much money, mind, but I'm getting a job over the summer, so job's a good 'un in that respect.

Things are... interesting. Come next week, I'll have officially earned an honours degree from the most prestigious university in the world. The fact that it is in a subject that I have been completely disenfranchised with makes it worthless in terms of helping me work out what I'm going to do now, and I'm more grateful that my tenure studying it has ended than that I've got the degree itself, but the fact that I have it opens up lots of doors.

The thing is, most of these doors look distinctly unappealing, and I'm quite tempted to ignore the paths that have just been made available in favour of those that have always been there. It does make you wonder what I've been working for for three years, when I'm a jibbering wreck at the end of it and don't intend to ever put the qualifications I have to use. Still, I'm quite prepared to chalk it down as one of life's (very expensive) lessons in seeking glory at the expense of personal or general well-being.

In general, life has been a sequence of learning processes. For better or for worse, my past has led me to this point, and I'm glad I cocked up before so that I don't now that it really matters - what hasn't killed me has made me stronger, and I hold no grudges, even if some regrets still kinda linger. Now that I'm here, I can start to make a difference in the world, and this is the perfect point to stop and consolidate where I want to go and what I want to accomplish. The uncertainty of it both terrifies and excites me at the same time - the tricky bit is calming down and forming a coherent strategy.

I'm am living well with everyday being an adventure (as opposed to the norm for kids my age of being a waste of space) in other words I'm exactly who I always wanted to be :)

next year I hope to have a ton of holidays (I haven't had one in ages :(), get my life organized and finally learn to play my ukulele

my g/f should be moving to my town in October (and i have to start looking for a flat)

hide the party girls!

Eh, it's not bad. Got running water and electricity, as well as a few mates. Not much money, mind, but I'm getting a job over the summer, so job's a good 'un in that respect.

you make working sound like unique lifetime event:p

For all its ups and downs, triumphs and failures, my life has been great, and I can't honestly look back on anything thus far was any amount of deep regret or pain.

Good friends, good family, good job, good health, good country.

Yup, all the makings for a good life.

At the moment I have about 100 quid in my bank account, miss university and living in my own place while the summer stretches out and I work a job I hate.

However, tomorrow for one day only I get to work in my old department at work where all my work friends are, I'm catching up with friends who I haven't seen since New Year during the summer break and meeting new ones and I leave this crapheap of a job in around 2 months. Plus it's now less than 3 months until I have my own place to live again.

So it's a mix.

*is confused as to the difference*

This is why we could hang. :) Even if I was cheering for Pittsburgh. :P

As for The Shifting Mist, if you're a sadist, might I suggest teaching as a career?

That's only fulfilling for TRUE sadists. For self-revilers like Shirting Mist and me, teaching is almost entirely masochistic. Except for the days when 6-year-olds hug you and tell you you're their favorite person. *is easily won over*

Life has been very good to me. Could use a little more naked mud wrestling and a little less sexual repression, but otherwise, it's a nice world and there is a steady supply of tacos. :)

Life has been very good to me. Could use a little more naked mud wrestling and a little less sexual repression, but otherwise, it's a nice world and there is a steady supply of tacos. :)

speak for yourself I can't find the things anywhere and nobody seems to like them...

the glorious joys of living in a nation ruled by curries

speak for yourself I can't find the things anywhere and nobody seems to like them...

the glorious joys of living in a nation ruled by curries

The joy of having a mexican takeaway near uni....if only I was uni andcampus wasn't closed for the summer.

I should be but I'm not. And I really don't see things being good for me in the long run.

I put that things in the past have been negative but that the future looks positive. I always feel very guilty when I show anything other than gratitude for my excellent upbringing and stable childhood. My family always had enough money to never be at serious risk of finanical problems, I went to a good school and have thus enjoyed considerable priviliges over much of the population. Apologies if the following too much resembles a weblog or is overly emo-ish, but I feel I must provide considerable explanation and context to justify my describing such a past as 'negative'

However, from the age of about thirteen or fourteen (I am now twenty) I began to become increasingly aware that I was different from the other 'boys' (my single-sex grammar school was both academic blessing and social curse). I was also at this age old enough to understand that members of my family, and especially my father, would not respond well to this. So I tried to shut it all away, focusing on my studies and achieving excellent grades at GCSE and A-level. On the surface, everything looked fine. But I made almost no friends in my 6 years of secondary school, as I wasn't able to put on a good enough 'guy' act to avoid everyone thinking of me as the 'weird unstable faggy kid'. In my two years at university, the same pattern has continued; academic success combined with epic social phail. It has often felt like my life is a film in which some actor is playing my role while I watch on, powerless to end the pretence and assert my true self. But I've been too much of a coward to do anything about it until very recently, leading to frankly ridiculous levels of self-hate and angst. They say that the past is a foreign country. To use that metaphor in my case I think my mental past at times resembled Somalia.

Finally, though, I can realistically be optimistic for the future. I've made plans to live full time as female on campus next year, my psychiatrist is on the verge of giving me referals and supporting me in getting hormones, and it finally looks like I may get out of this rut. True, dealing with my parents remains a huge obstacle, an issue that regularly leads to excruciating guilt at what I must put them through in the near future. Finding jobs in the near future before all my documentation can be updated is also going to be a nightmare. But it is a start nevertheless. And for the first time in years it seems I can progress towards who I want to be rather than travelling in the other direction at near warp-speed.

EDIT: Holy cow, Batman, that IS a lot of text. Evidently another element of my life I should be unsatisfied with is my inability to express my thoughts succinctly:p

I simply couldn't choose one of the options, because they were too simplistic! Life is more than just a game of positive and negative factors, it's way more complex than that. It's not just black or white, there are also many kinds of grey. It is said that life is what you make of it, but that is only partially true. Existence just happens, it's impossible to plan everything in your life. You can try, but more often than not fate, that hypothetical and empirically unsound fickle bastard, will play a variety of tricks on you.

speak for yourself I can't find the things anywhere and nobody seems to like them...

the glorious joys of living in a nation ruled by curries

That's one of the saddest things I've ever heard. Although I really like curry, but I can have either.

Well,I 15 years old and summer is coming on. I having a chance to look back on the two years of my life that really matter. I looking at all the postive role models I gald I had. One of which is leaving my life as he is retireding(gonna miss him). I looking at how I finally ended my bullying problem which really drove me crazy for years,yet help make me who I am. It made me aware that some people are jerks and help me develop my indepence spirt and my motion of always "keeping it real". And the experience is now helping me,help others who are being bully or going through tough times in their lifes.

A girl I love very much is finally returning my love. This girl helped make me who I am and were very close. But only recently have I finally start growing up. By which I mean,become more mature. For her to openly return that love. But with summer coming up. Its all up in the air. But I have learned how to stand on my own feet and not become a emotional wreck if she decides she wants someone else. And instead support in her that descsion. I fosucing on becoming a better member of society(like being less annoying and actual being good at talking to people),I passed school(not as good as I should had,but hey.That all a part of growing up. I in two years went from being a bully,geeky,computer adict who did noting with his life to becomin a popluar,bright,attractive guy who has a beauitful girl to dabble with and a lifetime of doors to be open. Sure depression will strike at you,sure their be days when you just wanna scream. But you always gotta keep moving,get on fighting agaisnt the demons. For the few moments of joy that life brings me among the darkness and grey is what life is all about. Noting else is better. Find what makes you happy,and then never let it go.

Life is one big road. Every day is a chapter and you just got to keep on writing. Their always something to hold onto.

A quote that helps define who I am and how I look at life is this.

Attitude is more important than facts.
It is more important than the past, than education than money, than circumstances, than failures, than success,
than what other people think or say or do.
It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill.
It will make or break a company.a home. a relationship.
The remarkable thing is we have a choice, every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for the day.
We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that other people will act in a certain way.
We cannot change the inevitable.
The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.
I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90 % how I react to it.
- Charles Swindoll



And to quote what that beauitful girl of my life said once about life.

People will:
Make you,break you,want you,hate you,leave you,need you,surpass you,love you,have you,decive you,and care for you. But that just whats make you,you. --->I love that quote. :P


Quotes like those are how I get through the day. Never give up. Attitude my friend,attitude!

Also,don't lets things get to you. Problems are merely things we must over come to better who and what we shall be.

~Write on the water, send ripples through time
To sit and do nothing is life's lonely crime~

The day we become silent about things that matter,is the day we die.

To extist simply to live is pointless.Their is beauty in every single person and thing. In every object and sound. Life is your for the taking. You just must be willing to risk your all for it,and when you fall flat on your face. Get the F back up! Because then,no matter how bads it gets. You can never lose.

And frankly because of that,because I always open to learn,to better myself,because I always love people with my 100% effort and soul. Because I always honest,no matter how butral,me,no matter how unpopluar my veiw. I have become a person I am quite happy with and I think my life is very good at this point. And I had a pretty ok life. Compare to people stories here and the people I know in RL. But that because I never gaved up.I never retreated inside of me,sough refuggee in beer or pot,or became fake. I leave you with one last quote.

"Pain by itself is merely pain,
but the experience of pain coupled with an understanding
that the pain serves a worthy purpose is suffering.
Suffering can be endured because there is a reason for it that is worth the effort.
What is more worthy of your pain than the evolution of your soul?"

So good luck with life and may the roads be paved with gold and the potholes not to deep. Unless of coruse you go out and blaze your own trail! ;)

That's sort of my point though. "useful member of society" is basically an illusion. Who's to say who's more useful than whom? At the end of the day someone who works a subsistence job and never leaves their hometown ends up the exact same way as a hot shot jetsetter. Accomplishments are largely bs because they really don't affect much of anything.

You are looking at things from the wrong perspective, Sovietistan.

In the long run, people die. In the long run, everything that begins does have an end. Everything is temporary, nothing is permanent.

However, to ignore everything that happens in anyone or anything's span of existence is to miss the point of life, the purpose of it, IMHO. Despite the fact that everything will end in the same place, no matter our actions, our actions do quite often affect our surroundings, and the people in our life. Essentially, I personally don't live life for the purpose of getting to a destination, but for the journey of getting there.

You may term everything but your own viewpoint "an Illusion"; but really, these are just different perspectives. It all depends which one you choose. Illusion itself is not a viewpoint, don't confuse me as saying that; Illusion is not perceiving reality (Of course, this leads us to a Descartes type of discussion). What we are discussing are different viewpoints on life, different philosophies. Personally, I find you viewpoint not exactly the one that suits me best. IMHO, my philosophy works better for me, and perhaps yours works better for you. But we should always analyze the other perspectives around, which is why I typed this up. So you could see another way of looking at things, if you hadn't already.

Cheers!

Overall can't complain. Well I can, but nothing severe.

This year, not so great; A psychotic flatmate who had to leave uni after stabbing himself in the leg with a kitchen knife (leaving me to clean most of his blood off the walls), his replacement was merely incredibly annoying. In love with one of my other flatmates but can't pluck up the courage to tell her (oh god, i'm turning emo:headbang:). Severe trouble with banks brought on by being the victim of an attempted fraud, disappointing exam results and things are already looking ominous for my flat next year (if anyone is ever planning to rent a flat in Edinburgh, don't use ELS;)).

Still, I have some time now to get some money, I didn't fail anything and I've got time to sort the rest out so it's not looking too bad. I would go with mainly positive with brief negative interludes.

However, to ignore everything that happens in anyone or anything's span of existence is to miss the point of life, the purpose of it, IMHO. Despite the fact that everything will end in the same place, no matter our actions, our actions do quite often affect our surroundings, and the people in our life. Essentially, I personally don't live life for the purpose of getting to a destination, but for the journey of getting there.
I disagree simply on the basis of the idea of a purpose of life. I don't see anyone's life as having any purpose at all.

You may term everything but your own viewpoint "an Illusion"; but really, these are just different perspectives. It all depends which one you choose. Illusion itself is not a viewpoint, don't confuse me as saying that; Illusion is not perceiving reality (Of course, this leads us to a Descartes type of discussion). What we are discussing are different viewpoints on life, different philosophies. Personally, I find you viewpoint not exactly the one that suits me best. IMHO, my philosophy works better for me, and perhaps yours works better for you. But we should always analyze the other perspectives around, which is why I typed this up. So you could see another way of looking at things, if you hadn't already.

Of course it's perspective. My views are simply my opinions and nothing more. I happen to hold the idea that our lives are important and what we do is important to be very much an illusion for one simple thing. When we die everything that we have ever felt, thought or said is gone because our ability to recognise our life is obviously gone. While there will be those who survive us and think what they will about us, we will not be around to know about it. And thus, it doesn't really matter in the end how we lived our lives and what we did.

Soviestan - it may not matter in an ultimate sense, but it matters to us while we're living it. And we're talking about our lives, not the universe here, right?

Anyway, Atlantian Islands, I chose option 1. I grew up with a wonderful family in the middle of a culturally rich, intellectual community. I live in a lovely city in a free country. I'm finishing my degree without any debt, and working in a great summer job that relates to my studies with a post-doc that is actually the loveliest boss. My friends actually know who I am and like me for it. I think in the last few years I've come closer to narrowing down what I actually want to do - or at least what gets me the most excited. This year I'm going on a big trip to Israel and eastern Europe, and then grad school. Yep, things are pretty damn good.

It's interesting to me that alot of people who are really having a hard time are incredibly articulate, analytical, and insigtful aobu thteir situations. I'm not surprised - tons of depressed people are super-smart. I guess I just want to point out that even the short stories in this thread point to abilites and values that exists in you - and that I, anonymous internet poster, appreciate.

In short, I'm not sure.

In many ways I've had the perfect upbringing: loving and supportive parents and friends, good schools, ability to work and do well in exams. I'm at one of the best universities in the world doing a degree I enjoy and just got one of the best marks in my year, and have a small number of good friends here.

And yet, something's not quite right, and never has been. I look back on my achievements and cannot recognise the achiever as being myself; somehow it seems I've not been in control of what I've done so don't now deserve it all.

I suppose I'm just full of self-doubt, even self-hate at times. I'm not sure why, though.

Good to see that you're still with her and your relationship should only get better as she moves closer to you and you bond in ways you just can't do that well over a long distance relationship.:)
thanks :) i'm looking forward to it!
she'll be in halls for the first year (ie till September next year), but even then we'll be able to see each other a whole lot more easily. one really good thing will be that we can do our own things at weekends. we do love being with each other, of course, but if one of us has plans at any time during a weekend, it makes seeing each other really difficult. so that'll be good :)

hide the party girls!


shyeah, no more stripper & coke parties, eh? ;)

But now if I recall you're really happy with the way things are going with your boyfriend/husband (?). Am I correct?:)


Not married yet, but the day is getting closer and closer ;)
Yes, things are looking good for the future now.

I'm a hell of a lot happier with my life than I was a year ago at this time, that's for damn sure. A year ago at this time, I was a two hundred forty one pound(109.315 kg) fat slob who could barely walk down a staircase without puffing and heaving. I was unemployed, had no job prospects, and generally was a leech on my parents who probably would've been burned off already if my parents weren't so generous.

Now I'm one hundred seventy one pounds(77.5642 kg) and can run a mile and a half in thirteen minutes and thirty seconds without feeling all that exhausted, can do some serious push-ups and situps(as opposed to maybe one push-up before collapsing before) and I'm set up to go into the Nuclear Engineering program in the Navy come November. I'm still technically unemployed until then, though, but that's okay with me.

(One thing I'd like to point out: I didn't start losing weight till last November. I have Jocabia to thank huge bunches for all my progress in improving my health. If it wasn't for his advice I'd still be stumbling, or I might've even given up altogether long ago.)

My life, despite all the bad stuff I have done or experienced, has been positive, surrounded by loved ones who care about me. Now, the future seems bleak. Soon, we'll run outta oil to power my precious computers, and nothing to replace the oil 'cuz everyone's hatin' on nuclear power. And then there's the December 21, 2012 apocalypse, after which there's no more ability to make ice cream. :(

*Sigh* I hate living on Earth sometimes.

Minnesota is not earth.

And if my life sucks it's pretty much my fault. So unless one of you fine folks feels like coming to Oklahoma and straightening me out, I guess I'll just live with it.

Minnesota is not earth.

And if my life sucks it's pretty much my fault. So unless one of you fine folks feels like coming to Oklahoma and straightening me out, I guess I'll just live with it.

Hey, it's better than Oklahoma, at any rate.

My life has been very positive. Everything I worked hard for is paying back now and I must say it feels great to be living what I always hoped for. I, as everyone else, do have problems but I don't mind them. Can you picture your life without problems? It'd be really boring. We got to have something that keep us motivate and to me problems are a big part of this something.

Right now I'm studying what I've always wanted and in a few years I'll be graduated. Something tells that from now on my life will only get better.

a little less sexual repression
http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13779535&postcount=33
Erm, wtf? :eek:

I will just go with Straughn's idea and stay in the land of the living for the time being. Plus I have to see who wins the Euro.:)
Hokey as my post may have sounded, it's gotten me through the darkest times.

This is why we could hang. :) Even if I was cheering for Pittsburgh. :P

Pittsburgh I can deal with. My favorite hockey teams are, in order:

1) The Detroit Red Wings

2) Whoever is playing against The Colorado Avalanche

3) The University of Michigan

4) Whoever is playing against Ohio State

5) The Saginaw Spirit

6) Les Ducs d'Angers


I love hockey.

I apologize, your post just seemed to be in a joking tone rather than a serious one.

I shouldn't have made that assumption based on the (perceived) tone of your post alone. I'm sorry if I upset you.

I hope you can forgive my indiscretion.


If you were such a bastard, why would you apologise? You also said you couldn't understnad humour. Do you have Autism?

Life before now wasn’t necessarily terrible, but from about 2 years ago till now things haven’t been too great and it seems that’s how it’s going to be for the rest of my life.

About two years ago one of my friends died and its seams that friends and family have been dyeing every four to eight months ever since. While that might that I should be able to eventually get over I seem to have changed. I don’t get any pleasure out of anything (from reading to sex), lost all sexual desire (although that dose have its perks) and all of my emotions seem to have been numbed to some extent. Like if a child was hit by a car, the only reason I’d stop to help would be because it’s what I would have done before. Sure, I’d feel bad if I just walked away, but it would only temporarily increase the pain I now feel constantly. I’d only have limited compassion for how the child was feeling, as compared to how I would have once been torn apart seeing a child in pain.

My apparent lack of compassion has disturbed a lot of my friends, who are used to me being compassionate and highly sensitive. Now really don’t see how I can fit into society

So my life pretty much sucks is probably going to remain that way for how ever much longer I endure it.

Things are... interesting. Come next week, I'll have officially earned an honours degree from the most prestigious university in the world.

Cambridge or Hull?