NationStates Jolt Archive

So this girl at school, and she is basically my best friend. We tell each other pretty much everything. Even the deepest secrets we have. I haven't broken her confidence once. I was under the impression that she hadn't told anyone things that I had told her in what I though was complete confidence. So today I was talking to a friend of mine that I like as more than a friend. She is also friends with my best friend. While we were talking she started saying stuff that nobody could have known about me. Then she told me that my best friend had told her this stuff. This was stuff that we had agreed would never get outside of us.
have you ever had this happen? Any advice on what to do? I still don't know what to do especially since my best friend is travelling and I won't be incontact with her for over a week.

Trust nobody. Anything you say can and will be used against you.

Lol, classic teenager story.

1) Don't trust that friend anymore unless she makes explicit excuses about the things she said.

2) Find more best friends. It's always good to have more than a single person you can trust, all the more if you get angry with them.

I don't really trust her anymore but she is(or was) one of the best friends I had ever had.

So this girl at school, and she is basically my best friend. We tell each other pretty much everything. Even the deepest secrets we have. I haven't broken her confidence once. I was under the impression that she hadn't told anyone things that I had told her in what I though was complete confidence. So today I was talking to a friend of mine that I like as more than a friend. She is also friends with my best friend. While we were talking she started saying stuff that nobody could have known about me. Then she told me that my best friend had told her this stuff. This was stuff that we had agreed would never get outside of us.
have you ever had this happen? Any advice on what to do? I still don't know what to do especially since my best friend is travelling and I won't be incontact with her for over a week.

uhh... isn't this a perfect opportunity for you to become more than friends with this girl you like more than as a friend?

Seriously though, don't let something like that get in the way of your friendship. And certainly don't do anything rash.

So this girl at school, and she is basically my best friend. We tell each other pretty much everything. Even the deepest secrets we have. I haven't broken her confidence once. I was under the impression that she hadn't told anyone things that I had told her in what I though was complete confidence. So today I was talking to a friend of mine that I like as more than a friend. She is also friends with my best friend. While we were talking she started saying stuff that nobody could have known about me. Then she told me that my best friend had told her this stuff. This was stuff that we had agreed would never get outside of us.
have you ever had this happen? Any advice on what to do? I still don't know what to do especially since my best friend is travelling and I won't be incontact with her for over a week.

If you still value her as a friend, tell her exactly how hurt/disappointed you are that she let you down by telling your secrets.

I wouldn't trust her with anything else you don't want broadcast, though.

Talk to her about it. She may not have realized the "rules."

I generally don't tell anyone anything that I mind everyone knowing, but then, I'm not a very private person.

Edit: That's in real life. The Internet is a different matter entirely.

Lol, classic teenager story.

1) Don't trust that friend anymore unless she makes explicit excuses about the things she said.

2) Find more best friends. It's always good to have more than a single person you can trust, all the more if you get angry with them.

That is true. The only problem is that the group of friends I ahng out wiht, is so confusing. There are 3 guys and we are all casual frineds. We are there for the girls. Then there are like 10 girls who are all good friends. I am not sure I can find someone to really trust since I am the only guy currently single

Organize your thoughts.

Get a blog.

Then organize your thoughts.

Write in said blog.

Send link of blog to your friend.

Send us pictures.

A blog might not work. I would be very very mean I think. I am in a really bad mood. Especially since it seems that the things she was telling this other girls were very personal things that you wouldn't want to tell someone until you got really really close to them.

you trusted a girl!?!!1

er...you can't really tell people these things and not expect them to get out (like that one time when we got a new toilet and I pooped on the seat by accident >.< and suddenly everyone knew) people are people not saints

I am in a really bad mood. .
*repeats self: Don't do anything rash!*

oh, and hook up with that fried already, shes giving you hints man!

Nope. I'm an excellent judge of character.

As Call to ower said, people will know sometimes.

When you grow up, you will realize it's not a big deal, and that some friends are more discreet and comprehensive than it seems.

That is true. The only problem is that the group of friends I ahng out wiht, is so confusing. There are 3 guys and we are all casual frineds. We are there for the girls. Then there are like 10 girls who are all good friends. I am not sure I can find someone to really trust since I am the only guy currently single

omg its me in upper school (high school)!

seriously you just don't have that relationship with your friends and really those kind of relationships are very hard things to make but what I have done is split my social life into a least two groups of people who are not in regular contact (leading to uber bitching)

A blog might not work. I would be very very mean I think. I am in a really bad mood. Especially since it seems that the things she was telling this other girls were very personal things that you wouldn't want to tell someone until you got really really close to them.

if you have a problem you can always stick it on NSg :) (or IM one of us its not like we have those links at the side for no reason) what I suggest you do is masturbate, have a cup of tea and play video games etc until you cool down a tad

*repeats self: Don't do anything rash!*

oh, and hook up with that fried already, shes giving you hints man!

She was giving me hints. For a few days now. I was just waiting until I saw her again to do it. Then we talked today and the conversation went from fliriting and everything going great, to this, and by the end we were fighting and we both left mad... at least I was mad however I am not sure about her.

Are these typically activities which 'cool' one down?

No kidding. Won't those get you fired up even more if ya know what I mean

what I suggest you do is masturbate, have a cup of tea and play video games etc until you cool down a tad

Are these typically activities which 'cool' one down?

Are these typically activities which 'cool' one down?

Yeah, sure.

Just don't do them at the same time.

Edit: On a serious note, any distraction that make you forget about your problems is good to "cool down", that is, to stop being mad.

Are these typically activities which 'cool' one down?

No kidding. Won't those get you fired up even more if ya know what I mean

have you people never orgasmed? :eek:

have you people never orgasmed? :eek:

It wasn't a cooling experience.

Was...was I doing something wrong!?

What if I'm broken?

*paranoia*

Umm well that isn't something I do to cool down. I was thinking of hiding out in the basement and working on my miniature figures for miniature wargaming.

I'd say write a letter to the person with everything you want to say. Don't hold back anything, release all your anger and frustration. Then take send letter, crumple it up and throw it away. I'll bet that makes you feel better.

Oh I already did something to that affect. Got a lot out there but I am still pissed. I feel betrayed and very alone right now.

Okay, here's the possibility - perhaps your best friend was doing you a favour?

The other makes her liking for you known, they get into an excited discussion to talk about you, she shares information.

You might think it's wrong for her to do so, maybe it was, yet maybe it was with the best of intentions.

Girls share information, as long as you're not an complete ass, and since she was still flirting with you it would seem you're not, I wouldn't worry about it - I can understand you're feeling upset but look at it positively.

But she agreed to not tell anyone. A recent converstaion went along the lines of how she didn't like people that broke confidence cuz they thought they were helping and how she didn't like people who couldn't keep their mouths shut.
I understand that girls talk but I mean I think she could find something else to talk about.

It wasn't a cooling experience.

Was...was I doing something wrong!?

What if I'm broken?

*paranoia*

I suppose the question is, what did you do after it?

But she agreed to not tell anyone. A recent converstaion went along the lines of how she didn't like people that broke confidence cuz they thought they were helping and how she didn't like people who couldn't keep their mouths shut.
I understand that girls talk but I mean I think she could find something else to talk about.

Perhaps, first thing I'd do is to call the girl who told you this and apologise for overreacting, tell her you thought you'd said these things in confidence and this is why you're upset.

If you like her, tell her part of the reason you were upset is because you like her and would like to have told her yourself when you felt right to do so. If you don't, simply apologise.

When your best friend is in contact, try not to use 'you' to much, as in 'you betrayed me, you hurt me', instead use 'I' - I felt betrayed, I felt hurt - it makes a difference.

Ultimately, it's done, you can either stew in your basement plotting revenge or you can be the man, if nothing else it can only improve your standing.

I suppose the question is, what did you do after it?

Pfft... obviously set myself on fire.

Perhaps, first thing I'd do is to call the girl who told you this and apologise for overreacting, tell her you thought you'd said these things in confidence and this is why you're upset.

If you like her, tell her part of the reason you were upset is because you like her and would like to have told her yourself when you felt right to do so. If you don't, simply apologise.

When your best friend is in contact, try not to use 'you' to much, as in 'you betrayed me, you hurt me', instead use 'I' - I felt betrayed, I felt hurt - it makes a difference.

Ultimately, it's done, you can either stew in your basement plotting revenge or you can be the man, if nothing else it can only improve your standing.
This.

Get a blog.

Edited for length. :p

Edit: And if Bann-ed is doing it wrong, I want to know, because apparently I am too.

My advice is to not tell anyone anything else again. I've seen happen many times before. The best thing you can do is no longer be friends with her and keep your emotions to yourself. If you don't you may or may not get herpes.

Can't trust women mate, so don't.

So this girl at school, and she is basically my best friend. We tell each other pretty much everything. Even the deepest secrets we have. I haven't broken her confidence once. I was under the impression that she hadn't told anyone things that I had told her in what I though was complete confidence. So today I was talking to a friend of mine that I like as more than a friend. She is also friends with my best friend. While we were talking she started saying stuff that nobody could have known about me. Then she told me that my best friend had told her this stuff. This was stuff that we had agreed would never get outside of us.
have you ever had this happen? Any advice on what to do? I still don't know what to do especially since my best friend is travelling and I won't be incontact with her for over a week.

If it was me...

I'd just stop telling her those deep dark secrets. Don't make any announcements, just stop telling her those things that you don't want to get out. tell her stuff that you wouldn't mind getting out, but treat those as if they were confidentials.

General rules I find useful about judging people.

Only a mute is immune to slip information during a conversation. Everyone end up saying something they regret from time to time. The difference is just how often and how intentional.

When you listen to a conversation, pay attention to what the person tell you about other people. Try to provoke them a little to see what kind of information they are willing to give out under different conditions. The things someone is willing to tell you about others will most likely be the exact type of things that he/she will tell other people about you, in the same manner.

Some people are more open in gossiping about actual events, some are more open about gossiping your emotional self, and there are some who will go as far as to board cast anything and every to make themselves popular, even if it meant to make up things in the process.

I would say that you shouldn't hate her too much if she's fits the first 2 categories. Sometimes people say things accidentally and they are not really doing it out of selfish personal gains. Now if she's in the 3rd category however, I suggest it's best not to trust her with anything ever again.

I also don't think it's such a good idea to tell everyone you encounter how upset you are. Choose someone who's actually going to listen and not those who will lead to you feeling even worst afterward. If needed be it's better not talk about it too much because you are essentially renewing the experience in your mind each time you talk about it.

General rules I find useful about judging people.

isn't that a no-no?

I also don't think it's such a good idea to tell everyone you encounter how upset you are. Choose someone who's actually going to listen and not those who will lead to you feeling even worst afterward.

why do you think he posted on NSG?

isn't that a no-no?

why do you think he posted on NSG?

Lol I challenge you to count how many times you use adjective to describe a person in one day. Be that Good, Bad, Nice, Mean, etc.

At least I admit that I do it rather than deny it all together.

Tell your trustworthy friend you are worrying about your manhood, since the last time you had sex the girl only orgasmed 20 times.

Enjoy the effects of that rumour spreading.

read "send my love to heaven".. it's just a story of mistakes and failures.. hope you'll be encourage by this story.. try it!!!!:fluffle:

So this girl at school, and she is basically my best friend. We tell each other pretty much everything. Even the deepest secrets we have. I haven't broken her confidence once. I was under the impression that she hadn't told anyone things that I had told her in what I though was complete confidence. So today I was talking to a friend of mine that I like as more than a friend. She is also friends with my best friend. While we were talking she started saying stuff that nobody could have known about me. Then she told me that my best friend had told her this stuff. This was stuff that we had agreed would never get outside of us.
have you ever had this happen? Any advice on what to do? I still don't know what to do especially since my best friend is travelling and I won't be incontact with her for over a week.

A wise philosopher once wrote "When you're in love with a beautiful woman, you watch your friends".

A wise philosopher once wrote "When you're in love with a beautiful woman, you watch your friends".

ewwww

This.

I know he is right. Oh and I wasn't going to stew in the basement plotting revenge. I am not the vengeful type. If I was, I would have already carried it out.

Tell your trustworthy friend you are worrying about your manhood, since the last time you had sex the girl only orgasmed 20 times.

Enjoy the effects of that rumour spreading.

I think she would freak out and like kill herself when she heard that

That's high school for you, sorry. :(

A lot of my closest high school friends and I drifted apart during the last half of senior year, but I also got closer to a lot of new friends, etc.

Trust nobody. Anything you say can and will be used against you.

This.

That's high school for you, sorry. :(

A lot of my closest high school friends and I drifted apart during the last half of senior year, but I also got closer to a lot of new friends, etc.

I have already drifted away from most of my friends last year. This is the new group I am in. They are a lot more fun to be around and more accepting. This is the first drama that has really ahppened.

Good news. I talked to the girl I like's best friend. This in no way affected her. She likes me!

Nope. I'm an excellent judge of character.

Thats what Eva Braun said....

Thats what Eva Braun said....

Nicely done

Thats what Eva Braun said....
a good judge of character doesn't mean a good taste in character. :p

Get a livejournal, already.

The safest thing to do is to confide your secrets with us on NSG.

Find more best friends.

More best friends? Your fanatical love of equality is most unsettling.

"All men are equal before God: wisdom, talents, and virtue are the only difference between them."

-Napoléon

It's always good to have more than a single person you can trust,

You will be lucky if you can find one.

You want me to bare all to people who I don't even know their real names(i knwo it was bad english)

pfft, women. You can never trust them to just keep their mouthes shut and make you a sandwich. :p

Good news. I talked to the girl I like's best friend. This in no way affected her. She likes me!
Yeah, she says that to your face...

Yeah, she says that to your face...

lol :p

So this girl at school, and she is basically my best friend. We tell each other pretty much everything. Even the deepest secrets we have. I haven't broken her confidence once. I was under the impression that she hadn't told anyone things that I had told her in what I though was complete confidence. So today I was talking to a friend of mine that I like as more than a friend. She is also friends with my best friend. While we were talking she started saying stuff that nobody could have known about me. Then she told me that my best friend had told her this stuff. This was stuff that we had agreed would never get outside of us.
have you ever had this happen? Any advice on what to do? I still don't know what to do especially since my best friend is travelling and I won't be incontact with her for over a week.

Welcome to Gothdom (http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/154316)

Seriously though, I'd say man up and ask the new girl out. If it works, thank your friend on the sly for the assist, but express your reservations about leaks in the future. If it doesn't . . . well, see above, I guess.