NationStates Jolt Archive

So I'm thinking about coming out to my family, friends, etc but I'm worried about how they gonna threat me after I do that. I know our relationship wont be the same and that's the only reason why I haven't done it yet.

I'm just tired of not being able to be who I am because it might make everyone else uncorfotable.

Have any of you guys came out to your family? How did they take it? What changed in your life?

I haven't had any experience, never seen it before as well over here, but I do want to say this: have confidence, don't be afraid. If they treat u different, especially worse, after you've told them, then they are the stupid one's not you. If they can't cope with you, that's there mistake, there stupidity. You sir, are fine, there is no need to hide who you are. Be brave.

Oh darn. I thought this was talking about being happy.

Oh darn. I thought this was talking about being happy.

You can be both at the same time.

Oh god im wise.

A friend of mine came out about 3-4 years ago, and it was all fine for him. His mum die and in his grief he felt some sort of guilt having not told his famly, the thing is when he did, they all went 'well we sorta thought you where anyway'. Mostly your family will have an incling, if you are close that is.

The problem is that as a 21 years old guy here in Brasil if you don't hook up with as many girls as possible you're already labeled as gay. So I'm always hooking up with girls and stuff :(. That's why I don't think they have ideia that I'm gay.

Well I suspect my personal experiences won't be relevant to you, since it has never been a big deal in my family and I came out very young. This was of course helped by the fact that my aunt is also gay and thus had done most of the work about 20 years before me.

However, from friend's who have come out more recently they have generally found that, despite their fears, their parents were quite accepting and actually already had a suspicion in any case. There may be a few moments of awkwardness, but generally once they'd got over the shock and had time to think about it they were fine.

In my personal experience the main thing that changes about your relationship between your parents is that they stop going on about finding (in my case) a nice young man to settle down and have kids with and instead talk about me finding a nice young women and that there are many other options for kids like adoption or artificial insemination. Most parents, above all, really want their kids to be happy.

I wish I had the fashion sense

Mostly your family will have an incling, if you are close that is.

I think everyone has at least some level of gaydar really

The problem is that as a 21 years old guy here in Brasil if you don't hook up with as many girls as possible you're already labeled as gay. So I'm always hooking up with girls and stuff :(. That's why I don't think they have ideia that I'm gay.

are shemales out of the question?

seriously just tell them and get it over with, and then begins the drinking :)

Well I suspect my personal experiences won't be relevant to you, since it has never been a big deal in my family and I came out very young. This was of course helped by the fact that my aunt is also gay and thus had done most of the work about 20 years before me.

However, from friend's who have come out more recently they have generally found that, despite their fears, their parents were quite accepting and actually already had a suspicion in any case. There may be a few moments of awkwardness, but generally once they'd got over the shock and had time to think about it they were fine.

In my personal experience the main thing that changes about your relationship between your parents is that they stop going on about finding (in my case) a nice young man to settle down and have kids with and instead talk about me finding a nice young women and that there are many other options for kids like adoption or artificial insemination. Most parents, above all, really want their kids to be happy.

Hopefully I'll be as lucky as you were. I'm really worried about my mother's reaction. She really want me to get married and give tons of grandchildren.
But I do think she is starting to think I'm gay. Yesterday she was talking about how gross was to see gay people kissing on TV and how she thought L World should be banned from TV.:rolleyes:

Hopefully I'll be as lucky as you were. I'm really worried about my mother's reaction. She really want me to get married and give tons of grandchildren.
But I do think she is starting to think I'm gay. Yesterday she was talking about how gross was to see gay people kissing on TV and how she thought L World should be banned from TV.:rolleyes:

Cara... Se ela é assim, eu não sei, mas eu sugiro que você ao menos arrume um canto seu para morar antes de contar a ela. Pelo visto, ela não quer que você conte.

I guess it's a bigger deal in Brazil to be gay. Here in the US, most parents are going to be ok with it (speaking as a parent, I'd be OK with it too).

Down where you are, it sounds like you're going to be socially ostracized outside your home, and I bet your parents will catch a lot of shit for it as well.

You can't pick your family, but they'll always be your family, no matter what. I'd be willing to bet even your most homophobic relative will openly disparage you but still defend you to any outsider. Best to be open and aboveboard with them, and let these things work themselves out.

I guess it's a bigger deal in Brazil to be gay. Here in the US, most parents are going to be ok with it (speaking as a parent, I'd be OK with it too).

Down where you are, it sounds like you're going to be socially ostracized outside your home, and I bet your parents will catch a lot of shit for it as well.

Hell no!

It's no different from the US. Some families are jerks about it, some aren't. Also, in no states here are dildos made to be sold as "novelty" items.

Hell no!

It's no different from the US. Some families are jerks about it, some aren't. Also, in no states here are dildos made to be sold as "novelty" items.

I think it's different - if you're in society at large, in a major urban area, it's actually cool to be openly gay in the US.

Try that in Brazil. It doesn't sound remotely receptive if he has to pump and dump girls just to keep people from calling him gay.

I think it's different - if you're in society at large, in a major urban area, it's actually cool to be openly gay in the US.

Try that in Brazil. It doesn't sound remotely receptive if he has to pump and dump girls just to keep people from calling him gay.

By all means, tell me more about my own culture.

By all means, tell me more about my own culture.

The OP is the one who says he has to get a lot of girls to keep people from saying he's gay.

Just doesn't happen here in the US like that (maybe 30 years ago).

I'm not trying to recruit or anything, but if you want to find lots of other LGBT people who have been in a similar situation who you could talk to, then there's the region of Gay.

The forum is:

http://s3.invisionfree.com/Region_of_Gay

The OP is the one who says he has to get a lot of girls to keep people from saying he's gay.

Just doesn't happen here in the US like that (maybe 30 years ago).

It happened to the OP. And I'm pretty sure it also happens to some people there in the US. The OP, however, is not all gays in Brazil (otherwise he'd be in a worse situation, namely no one to date).

Also, in no states in Brazil was it ILLEGAL to be gay until the 2000s. So do tell me all about liberation.

By all means, tell me more about my own culture.

In your culture, dueling with frozen fish is accepted, but shunned by the laundry caste.

In your culture, women do not wear jewelry. It is carried for them by trained rodents, or for wealthier women, educated rodents.

In your culture, dancing and fighting are the same thing. Loud.

In your culture, marriage is valued as the one honorable means to watch someone else take a dump.

In your culture, it is the role of the siblings to avenge your death, preferably via fish duel.

In your culture, dueling with frozen fish is accepted, but shunned by the laundry caste.

In your culture, women do not wear jewelry. It is carried for them by trained rodents, or for wealthier women, educated rodents.

In your culture, dancing and fighting are the same thing. Loud.

In your culture, marriage is valued as the one honorable means to watch someone else take a dump.

In your culture, it is the role of the siblings to avenge your death, preferably via fish duel.

*Tosses a salmon to Jhahannam* EN GARDE! I WILL NOT LET YOU WATCH THAT WOMAN TAKE A DUMP! I WANT TO!

*Attacks him with another salmon*

Now, tell me TRUTHS about my own culture. :p

Though "capoeira" IS a "fighting dance"... ;)

*Tosses a salmon to Jhahannam* EN GARDE! I WILL NOT LET YOU WATCH THAT WOMAN TAKE A DUMP! I WANT TO!

*Attacks him with another salmon*

Now, tell me TRUTHS about my own culture. :p

You have slain me with a cold and rigid cod, my poor limp salmon unable to parry your flat scaly justice!

As I lay, mortally wounded, I will, as a fish pierced oracle, give you the truth you so desire...

The truth is, your women are high maintenance but have great hips.

The truth is, your cabs are small, but comparatively clean

The truth is, you art is varied and progressive, but uses too much green and red.

The truth is, your prostitutes haggle angrily, and would ultimately do better to sacrifice margin in favor of higher volume, which if accomplished with sufficient ratio, will yield superior net income.

May the truth comfort you, as my corpse litters your street!

It happened to the OP. And I'm pretty sure it also happens to some people there in the US. The OP, however, is not all gays in Brazil (otherwise he'd be in a worse situation, namely no one to date).

Also, in no states in Brazil was it ILLEGAL to be gay until the 2000s. So do tell me all about liberation.

So, where is it illegal to be gay? It's just illegal in some states to have sex in public bathrooms, especially if it's buttsex.

You have slain me with a cold and rigid cod, my poor limp salmon unable to parry your flat scaly justice!

As I lay, mortally wounded, I will, as a fish pierced oracle, give you the truth you so desire...

The truth is, your women are high maintenance but have great hips.

The truth is, your cabs are small, but comparatively clean

The truth is, you art is varied and progressive, but uses too much green and red.

The truth is, your prostitutes haggle angrily, and would ultimately do better to sacrifice margin in favor of higher volume, which if accomplished with sufficient ratio, will yield superior net income.

May the truth comfort you, as my corpse litters your street!

Not all of them, and not all of them. ;)

Usually true.

Maybe.

And maybe. Sorta depends on where you were. São Paulo has a higher living cost...

Cara... Se ela é assim, eu não sei, mas eu sugiro que você ao menos arrume um canto seu para morar antes de contar a ela. Pelo visto, ela não quer que você conte.

Mas essa atitude dela começou do nada. Desde da semana passada que ela vem agindo estranho. Anda me perguntando pq não tenho uma namorada fixa e sempre que pode fala mal dos gays.
Eu acho que ela ta se ligando e não ta aprovando desde já.:(

@Hotwife

It's only a big deal here in Brasil when the gay is someone from your family. No one really cares as long as it's not someone from their family.:rolleyes:

Mas essa atitude dela começou do nada. Desde da semana passada que ela vem agindo estranho. Anda me perguntando pq não tenho uma namorada fixa e sempre que pode fala mal dos gays.
Eu acho que ela ta se ligando e não ta aprovando desde já.:(

@Hotwife

It's only a big deal here in Brasil when the gay is someone from your family. No one really cares as long as it's not someone from their family.:rolleyes:

Here in the US, it's not on your family - maybe in the 1950s here, but not nowadays.

Families don't have to wear their children around their necks here. Generally, if someone is actually catching shit for being gay, it's blamed solely on them, not their families.

"Was" until the 2000s.

Your sodomy laws, remember?

Also, gays here can adopt. In ALL states.

Most states don't have sodomy laws. IIRC, we're down to 2 or 3 that actually attempt to enforce them, and then only when catching people having sex in public bathrooms, which is illegal even if you're hetero...

So, where is it illegal to be gay? It's just illegal in some states to have sex in public bathrooms, especially if it's buttsex.

"Was" until the 2000s.

Your sodomy laws, remember?

Also, gays here can adopt. In ALL states.

Mas essa atitude dela começou do nada. Desde da semana passada que ela vem agindo estranho. Anda me perguntando pq não tenho uma namorada fixa e sempre que pode fala mal dos gays.
Eu acho que ela ta se ligando e não ta aprovando desde já.:(

@Hotwife

It's only a big deal here in Brasil when the gay is someone from your family. No one really cares as long as it's not someone from their family.:rolleyes:

Olha, cara... Então ou você deixa quieto ou você fala com ela e fala que ela que se conforme.

E eu não sei, acho que tem casos e casos. A família pode ou não apoiar. O "Esposa Gostosa" costuma ver meio mal outras culturas. Na dele, costuma ser pior, eu acho.

Most states don't have sodomy laws. IIRC, we're down to 2 or 3 that actually attempt to enforce them, and then only when catching people having sex in public bathrooms, which is illegal even if you're hetero...

My point remains that in Brazil no such laws were ever in the BOOKS. And also, gay marriage certainly wouldn't become an election issue important enough to reelect that goddamn chimp over.

My point remains that in Brazil no such laws were ever in the BOOKS. And also, gay marriage certainly wouldn't become an election issue important enough to reelect that goddamn chimp over.

Apparently, gay marriage is not an election issue...

There's enough public opinion here in the US to elect McCain if the only issue was gay marriage - most USians are against it.

Something like 50 to 70 percent depending on when you take the poll. Every state that has wanted to pass a state constitutional amendment banning it has done so by sweeping margins.

Maybe you should take your own advice, and stop telling me what it's like in my country.

Apparently, gay marriage is not an election issue...

There's enough public opinion here in the US to elect McCain if the only issue was gay marriage - most USians are against it.

Something like 50 to 70 percent depending on when you take the poll. Every state that has wanted to pass a state constitutional amendment banning it has done so by sweeping margins.

Maybe you should take your own advice, and stop telling me what it's like in my country.

I was making a point that no, my country is not that much more conservative than yours. Heck, I don't think it's more conservative than yours at all. It is in certain areas - only one state here has civil unions - but all states allow adoption, and no DOMA act was passed when Rio Grande do Sul included civil unions.

My point remains that in Brazil no such laws were ever in the BOOKS. And also, gay marriage certainly wouldn't become an election issue important enough to reelect that goddamn chimp over.

Gay marriage really was never a campaign issue.

Gay marriage really was never a campaign issue.

Did become a Republican rallying cry...

I was making a point that no, my country is not that much more conservative than yours. Heck, I don't think it's more conservative than yours at all. It is in certain areas - only one state here has civil unions - but all states allow adoption, and no DOMA act was passed when Rio Grande do Sul included civil unions.

All I recall is that it was very, very easy to get laid in Rio. Almost every woman I asked was willing to fuck merely after a brief introduction.

Did become a Republican rallying cry...

Not fully. Most people do not consider it a campaign issue to be brought up at the national level. Most of us would prefer it to be done at the local level by the people themselves.

Its more of a local issue than a federal one.

So I'm thinking about coming out to my family, friends, etc but I'm worried about how they gonna threat me after I do that. I know our relationship wont be the same and that's the only reason why I haven't done it yet.

I'm just tired of not being able to be who I am because it might make everyone else uncorfotable.

Have any of you guys came out to your family? How did they take it? What changed in your life?
This \/
I haven't had any experience, never seen it before as well over here, but I do want to say this: have confidence, don't be afraid. If they treat u different, especially worse, after you've told them, then they are the stupid one's not you. If they can't cope with you, that's there mistake, there stupidity. You sir, are fine, there is no need to hide who you are. Be brave.

If you're family is going to treat you poorly because of your sexuality then they are worth it.

All I recall is that it was very, very easy to get laid in Rio. Almost every woman I asked was willing to fuck merely after a brief introduction.

I think, I THINK, that has to do with two things:

1- Where you were. Funk balls (Bailes funk) and other places are where one finds easy women.

2- Also depending on where you were, they assumed that since you are from the US, you were rich.

Also, you just drove home a point about them being more liberal. :p

All I recall is that it was very, very easy to get laid in Rio. Almost every woman I asked was willing to fuck merely after a brief introduction.

Tell me the one about how you wrestled a lion to the ground with your bare hands?

I love that one.

Not fully. Most people do not consider it a campaign issue to be brought up at the national level. Most of us would prefer it to be done at the local level by the people themselves.

Its more of a local issue than a federal one.

Okay. Anyways, the thread was sorta derailed. My point was that attitudes towards homosexuality aren't that different between our two countries.

Okay. Anyways, the thread was sorta derailed. My point was that attitudes towards homosexuality aren't that different between our two countries.

Which is true :)

Tell me the one about how you wrestled a lion to the ground with your bare hands?

I love that one.

You know, it's not hard to believe that one, depending on where the guy was, and knowing certain places in my culture. First you take a place where people WANT to fuck and get fucked. Then you take an American guy that, in the lower classes (and the kind of place I said and lower classes almost always overlap), is seen automatically as loaded, due to being an American.

1 + 1 = fuck.

Not fully. Most people do not consider it a campaign issue to be brought up at the national level. Most of us would prefer it to be done at the local level by the people themselves.

Its more of a local issue than a federal one.

I truly question the integrity of those who would refer to a matter of fundamental civil rights as "a local issue"

Which is true :)

Better in some issues (adoption and no laws were ever against BEING gay), worse in others (marriage per se).

I truly question the integrity of those who would refer to a matter of fundamental civil rights as "a local issue"

I truly question someone who thinks that the federal government should decide everything.

You know, it's not hard to believe that one, depending on where the guy was, and knowing certain places in my culture. First you take a place where people WANT to fuck and get fucked. Then you take an American guy that, in the lower classes (and the kind of place I said and lower classes almost always overlap), is seen automatically as loaded, due to being an American.

1 + 1 = fuck.

It was Carnival in Rio.

It was Carnival in Rio.

1 + 1 + 1 = Fuck. :p

I truly question someone who thinks that the federal government should decide everything.

Do you think Segregation was a local issue? No? Then gay rights isn't.

Do you think gay rights is a local issue? Yes? Then Segregation was.

Pick.

Do you think Segregation was a local issue? No? Then gay rights isn't.

Do you think gay rights is a local issue? Yes? Then Segregation was.

Pick.

Nice logical fallacy. That's worse than all unemployed people are starving.

Nice logical fallacy. That's worse than all unemployed people are starving.

I'm sure you'll be able to pinpoint which kind of fallacy it is, then. I'll even provide you with the site to:

http://www.fallacyfiles.org/

You have your pick of a weapon. You only have to hit me with it.

I truly question someone who thinks that the federal government should decide everything.

Would you really want something as foundational and important as civil rights to be widely varied? If there is anything that should be equally applied from one state to the next, its civil rights.

But don't listen to Neo Art. He knows utterly nothing about legal issues, and earned his JD at an online course based out of India and marketed by the same people who run DeVry.

Would you really want something as foundational and important as civil rights to be widely varied? If there is anything that should be equally applied from one state to the next, its civil rights.

But don't listen to Neo Art. He knows utterly nothing about legal issues, and earned his JD at an online course based out of India and marketed by the same people who run DeVry.

I wish. THose DeVry folks know what they're doing. Personally I'm still finding corn flake crums in my diploma frame.

Not fully. Most people do not consider it a campaign issue to be brought up at the national level.

Hence the Marriage Protection Amendment.

Have any of you guys came out to your family?
I came out to my mom completely accidentally. I'd always taken it for granted that she knew but just didn't like to talk about it. Most major issues never get talked about at all in my family (like: my grandfather was kind of a heel, kept a wife and three kids in the suburbs and mistress and two kids downtown and another man's wife out on a farm, the last being the only one to survive until my time-- so when I was a kid, I just always assumed that woman who was with my grandfather when we went out to the farm to visit was my grandmother). Since then, she knows but just doesn't like to talk about it.

Hence the Marriage Protection Amendment.

That failed utterly I might add.

Hey!

I came out by getting a friend to email my parents, since telling a friend an email address is easier than telling parents to their faces. They were pretty cool with it. My mum was crying, but she said later that it was because she was afraid for me, like about people attacking me, etc.; as a mother would be. My dad didn't react at all, it's possible that he suspected it because I go against the norm in other ways, too (vegetarian, atheist, teetotal, etc.).

Bro, if your family and friends love you, they will want you to be gay (I mean happy), and if being gay (I mean homosexual) does that for you, then why not embrace your identity.

I am a Christian, and any of my fellow believers who see this and say YOOOOOUUU! BURNIN IN HEELLLL!!!!!!!11111!!!! I ask you, what makes being gay any worse than lying. If you are gay, you are gay, that is the way that you have been made by the big guy. The Bible says not to lie, so if you are gay, and do not admit it, aren't you just lying to yourself, and ultimately your family? Just some food for thought.

That failed utterly I might add.

So have plenty of anti-gay efforts in individual states. What of it? It still played an important role in portraying the Republican Party as the party of traditional values. It had political appeal.

If you don't like that example, we could also talk about the numerous federal benefits to marriage... which by the Defense of Marriage Act are prohibited even to same-sex couples who are legally married.

Bro, if your family and friends love you, they will want you to be gay (I mean happy), and if being gay (I mean homosexual) does that for you, then why not embrace your identity.

I am a Christian, and any of my fellow believers who see this and say YOOOOOUUU! BURNIN IN HEELLLL!!!!!!!11111!!!! I ask you, what makes being gay any worse than lying. If you are gay, you are gay, that is the way that you have been made by the big guy. The Bible says not to lie, so if you are gay, and do not admit it, aren't you just lying to yourself, and ultimately your family? Just some food for thought.

QFT

QFT

QFT?

So I'm thinking about coming out to my family, friends, etc but I'm worried about how they gonna threat me after I do that. I know our relationship wont be the same and that's the only reason why I haven't done it yet.

I'm just tired of not being able to be who I am because it might make everyone else uncorfotable.

Have any of you guys came out to your family? How did they take it? What changed in your life?

Just to begin with, how old are you? Are you male or female? I'm sorry if you've already answered these questions, but I couldn't quite be bothered to read the whole thread. I'm the first one to admit that I'm a lazy queen.

To be honest, most of your friends will already know. Most of mine did. In fact, I was so assured of the fact that they already knew that I didn't even need to tell them. Only one of my friends was surprised when I started joining in on the conversations about which guy in our year we all wanted to screw. And even then she wasn't that shocked. Your relationships with your friends won't change much. At least they won't if they know you well.

As for parents/family, that's more tricky. My parents don't know because I know I think it would kill them. It's probably a MASSIVE overreaction. If I wasn't so much of a coward I would tell them.

As for the right timing, you'll know when the right time is. You can just tell. It's best when it just comes out - in all my experience, the times where I planned it were the times when it went badly.

Let's be honest though, I know that as a closeted gay guy (at home at least) I have absolutely NO right to be preachy, but I'm going to say this anyway: a parent's love should be unconditional. They shouldn't stop loving you just because you aren't what THEY wanted you to be. And if they do, then they don't deserve your love. I know it sounds harsh, but if they aren't willing to accept you just because of the way you were born, then you shouldn't stick around for them to tell you that you're a disappointment.

And one more thing: if you're still asking if it's the right time, then it probably isn't. There will probably never be a RIGHT time, but there certainly are WRONG times. To me, it sounds like it's still the wrong time for you. And don't be afraid of making people uncomfortable: you're here, put your foot in the door. Don't care what other people think. Good luck, whatever you decide.

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=fbh9UTOKfB0

QFT?

Quoted For Truth

So have plenty of anti-gay efforts in individual states. What of it? It still played an important role in portraying the Republican Party as the party of traditional values. It had political appeal.

Except that people voting for it were not necessarily republicans either.

A couple of years ago, my mate came out. He came out to me first and he asked me should he tell his family. I said yes he should, but he spent around six months worrying about what they were going to say and what was going to happen, and he became very deppressed. Eventually I persuaded him that if he came out to them, it can`t be any worse than he was then.

He eventually decided to invite his close family (Mum, Dad, two brothers and a sister) out to a restraunt and tell them there and asked me to be there (because I was the only person he`d come out to at this point). So near the end of the meal he began to tell them, his parents hardly reacted at all. All his dad said was "Oh Ok" and carried on eating. It was the same with all the rest of his family. So my advise is not to spend a long time worrying about what might happen, I`m sure your family will understand.

I'm worried about how they gonna threat me after I do that.
This is a very funny typo.

This is a very funny typo.

Tragically accurate? I hope not :(

A friend of mine came out to his mom a few years ago. There were tears and some screaming but she doesn't hold it against him (too hard), although it's obvious she wishes he weren't bi.

I'm private about my love life with practically everybody so I wasn't terribly surprised that my Dad asked me if there was a boy in my life since I never give any straight answers one way or the other. There wasn't, mind you, so I can't be accused of lying to him. My parents are both homophobes so coming out to them is completely out of the question.

Tragically accurate? I hope not :(

A friend of mine came out to his mom a few years ago. There were tears and some screaming but she doesn't hold it against him (too hard), although it's obvious she wishes he weren't bi.

I'm private about my love life with practically everybody so I wasn't terribly surprised that my Dad asked me if there was a boy in my life since I never give any straight answers one way or the other. There wasn't, mind you, so I can't be accused of lying to him. My parents are both homophobes so coming out to them is completely out of the question.

You're going to have to come out some day.

Except that people voting for it were not necessarily republicans either.

Not entirely, no, but that's true of most any bill. The vote was very strongly partisan. See here (http://www.senate.gov/legislative/LIS/roll_call_lists/roll_call_vote_cfm.cfm?congress=109&session=2&vote=00163) and here (http://clerk.house.gov/evs/2006/roll378.xml).

More importantly, it was a key part of the Republican Party's 2004 campaign. Bush supported it, Kerry opposed it, and the respective party platforms took the same position as the candidates.

Tragically accurate? I hope not :(

A friend of mine came out to his mom a few years ago. There were tears and some screaming but she doesn't hold it against him (too hard), although it's obvious she wishes he weren't bi.

I'm private about my love life with practically everybody so I wasn't terribly surprised that my Dad asked me if there was a boy in my life since I never give any straight answers one way or the other. There wasn't, mind you, so I can't be accused of lying to him. My parents are both homophobes so coming out to them is completely out of the question.
This \/
You're going to have to come out some day.

Although you can probably put off coming out to your parents for a while.
See my earlier response as to what I think of them if they aren't able to cope with it.

Although you can probably put off coming out to your parents for a while.
See my earlier response as to what I think of them if they aren't able to cope with it.

I wonder what the value of parents are if they're going to freak because their own child is gay.

You're going to have to come out some day.


I must disagree on that. It's very present in my mind that telling my mother that there is a less than 50% chance that I will not meet and marry a nice girl will probably give her a heart attack. Most people of their age group see any kind of sexuality other than heterosexuality as a disease which may or may not be curable by God, the right girl or a sound beating.

The long and short of it is I'm happy with them in the dark and I'm sure my Dad filled my Mom in on our little "talk" so there's an inkling of suspicion which is more acceptable to them (and me) than outright confirmation.

I wonder what the value of parents are if they're going to freak because their own child is gay.

Not much at all, I would say.

I wonder what the value of parents are if they're going to freak because their own child is gay.

Oh, I don't doubt that my parents love me. No doubt at all in my mind. I'm very lucky to have them as parents. I'm just trying to spare us all serious grief.

And thanks to Dyakovo for the support ;)

Not entirely, no, but that's true of most any bill. The vote was very strongly partisan. See here (http://www.senate.gov/legislative/LIS/roll_call_lists/roll_call_vote_cfm.cfm?congress=109&session=2&vote=00163) and here (http://clerk.house.gov/evs/2006/roll378.xml).

More importantly, it was a key part of the Republican Party's 2004 campaign. Bush supported it, Kerry opposed it, and the respective party platforms took the same position as the candidates.

True. However, even the exit polls bear out that it was not a deciding issue in the campaign.

Oh, I don't doubt that my parents love me. No doubt at all in my mind. I'm very lucky to have them as parents. I'm just trying to spare us all serious grief.

And thanks to Dyakovo for the support ;)

You know, they might actually take it better than you think.

My personal advice is to come out to them once you're out of the house (I'm assuming here that you still live under their roof), although what choice is best for you is ultimately your decision.

You know, they might actually take it better than you think.

My personal advice is to come out to them once you're out of the house (I'm assuming here that you still live under their roof), although what choice is best for you is ultimately your decision.

Perhaps, but I'm not going to risk it.

Actually, I haven't lived under their roof for the better part of the last decade. Living far from one's relatives has definite advantages as far as dating is concerned.

Perhaps, but I'm not going to risk it.

Actually, I haven't lived under their roof for the better part of the last decade. Living far from one's relatives has definite advantages as far as dating is concerned.

Ah, then my question would be what harm will come from being honest with them about your sexuality?

Ah, then my question would be what harm will come from being honest with them about your sexuality?

Being cut off would be a good one.

Ah, then my question would be what harm will come from being honest with them about your sexuality?

This \/

Being cut off would be a good one.

I suppose you mean disownment?

Although being financially cut off has not been a concern of mine since the past year.

And, again, I'm sparing them grief of having son who's different.

If it would cause them grief that their son was anything at all, they're not worth the effort of coming out to or the effort of concealing it.

That was me, by the way. Wrong nationstate. (So is Great Diversity).

I guess I'm just lucky enough to have tolerant parents who dote on me completely. Glad I don't live in America, where they might go to church and all. My dad's an atheist (by my doing, partially) and my mum's a Catholic who's probably never touched a Bible or seen the inside of a church.

I'm half gay

Have any of you guys came out to your family?

Yup.

How did they take it?

Not well, but it's their loss.

What changed in your life?

I moved away, my life started and I became free to live it. That's the short version.

Bro, if your family and friends love you, they will want you to be gay (I mean happy), and if being gay (I mean homosexual) does that for you, then why not embrace your identity.

I am a Christian, and any of my fellow believers who see this and say YOOOOOUUU! BURNIN IN HEELLLL!!!!!!!11111!!!! I ask you, what makes being gay any worse than lying. If you are gay, you are gay, that is the way that you have been made by the big guy. The Bible says not to lie, so if you are gay, and do not admit it, aren't you just lying to yourself, and ultimately your family? Just some food for thought.

Well, yes, but Leviticus and Romans. The Bible is fairly clear on its stance. Stop the pick-and-mixery: either drop the book and say you like (some of) the teachings of Jesus and believe in a god, or keep the book and actually read and obey it. Or start a new sect of Christianity and attempt to justify altogether ignoring the parts of the Bible you disagree with.

Note: The above is not an attack on homosexuality, but an attack on Christianity.

Well, yes, but Leviticus and Romans. The Bible is fairly clear on its stance. Stop the pick-and-mixery: either drop the book and say you like (some of) the teachings of Jesus and believe in a god, or keep the book and actually read and obey it. Or start a new sect of Christianity and attempt to justify altogether ignoring the parts of the Bible you disagree with.

Note: The above is not an attack on homosexuality, but an attack on Christianity.

but thats what everyone does with the bible. thats why christian sects differ in their teachings, eh?

why should homosexuality be different than....whether or not we are saved by grace alone?

Because those particular passages are very difficult to explain away.

Are you worried about getting kicked out of the house? If so, don't come out.

Maybe it's just that I'm really risk-averse, but it took me quite a bit before I came out to my best friend. I suggest that you come out only to your friends you feel you would trust with your life.

Also, sorry if this is late or someone already pointed it out. But in the US, sodomy is illegal in zero states: Lawrence v. Texas.


Have any of you guys came out to your family? How did they take it? What changed in your life?
I have come out to my immediate family except my brother. My parents both took it well. In fact my dad was all like "bisexual, eh? That opens a whole interesting world." Nothing has changed in my life. My dad hates homophobia doubly now. (I heart my dad.)

All of my friends know too. I have never had any negative responses. And if I had any, I'd just say I'm an anarchist too, so they could give me more shit for my politics than my sexuality.

Thank you all for the support. I decided to wait until next year when I'm out of their house.

It's good to see that most of your parents were fine with it. It gives me hope lol.

I came out to my mother, who is fine with it. I never told my father.
When I came out to my friends, I lost most of them, but not all of them, and became closer to the ones who stayed friends with me. The irony is the friend who said he wouldn't have a problem with a gay friend stopped being friends with me, and the friend who said he'd stop being friends with someone if he found out they were gay remained my friend.

As for the OP, at the very least you could sort of ease into it, beginning by not going out of your way to give the impression you're heterosexual.

I am gay and came out several years ago. I got my dad's friend to tell him because I feared his reaction.

Now, however, althought I occassionally get some grief from dickheads who think it's up to them what's right and wrong, I am openly gay and am a much happier person. I have a close relationship with my dad, and all my friends know that I am gay.

It is better to be honest about who you are, why be ashamed? Everyone has a right to love someone else whether they are the same sex or not, love is a Human need.