NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.switched.com/2008/05/21/10-movie-gadgets-you-might-see-in-real-life-2/

Now, this is just part of an article on 11 fictional devices that are coming closer to reality which is neat, but this particular one should disturb a lotta guys out there.

http://www.switched.com/2008/05/21/10-movie-gadgets-you-might-see-in-real-life-2/

Now, this is just part of an article on 11 fictional devices that are coming closer to reality which is neat, but this particular one should disturb a lotta guys out there.

Induce orgasms via Remote Control? what would the range of that be and what are the possiblities for cross frequencies? :D

Induce orgasms via Remote Control? what would the range of that be and what are the possiblities for cross frequencies? :D

One assumes they'd rig it like they do remote locks for cars.


Fucked if I know what that is, but if it works for cars, then why not for orgasm machines?



Also, I demand to know if this will work in men, and if so, I want one.

Hmm, if this is availible for both genders...

I think humanity will become extinct, simply from people's lack of motivation to do anything constructive with their lives. They would just probably rather orgasm all day. and night. And those in between hours.

Isn't essentially just masturbation, though?

Isn't essentially just masturbation, though?

Humanity always goes for anything that can be done better at pushbutton convenience.

:p

One assumes they'd rig it like they do remote locks for cars.

Fucked if I know what that is, but if it works for cars, then why not for orgasm machines?

Also, I demand to know if this will work in men, and if so, I want one.
Great, I got the image of a drunk person looking for the keys for his car at a party. He clicks on the button and in the background you hear a woman scream in pleasure.

Isn't essentially just masturbation, though? without all that tiring hand motion.... yeah.

Humanity always goes for anything that can be done better at pushbutton convenience.

:p

"Hey baby, let's push each other's button." could be the pick-up line of the 21st Century.

Oh, don't fret, you'll just evolve into gay men. :D

Isn't essentially just masturbation, though?
Yes, but way easier on the wrist.
Great, I got the image of a drunk person looking for the keys for his car at a party. He clicks on the button and in the background you hear a woman scream in pleasure.

This is a bad thing?

This is a bad thing?

Let's not forget the ever-popular scenario of a car alarm going off and someone trying to disarm it.

Let's not forget the ever-popular scenario of a car alarm going off and someone trying to disarm it.

Epic idea for a game. Everyone puts their remote into a suitable container, and they take turns picking one out and trying to identify who it belongs too. By pressing it repeatedly to see who reacts.

One assumes they'd rig it like they do remote locks for cars.


Fucked if I know what that is, but if it works for cars, then why not for orgasm machines?

I love the idea of walking up to your car, unlocking it, and a woman in the vicinity collapsing with a funny grin on her face. :p

EDIT:
Great, I got the image of a drunk person looking for the keys for his car at a party. He clicks on the button and in the background you hear a woman scream in pleasure.

without all that tiring hand motion.... yeah.
I hate you for saying that first and now making me look stupid.:mad:

What a load of bollocks...while Beeks is on the Earth procreation between the sexes or at least practicing will be alive and kicking ;)

Epic idea for a game. Everyone puts their remote into a suitable container, and they take turns picking one out and trying to identify who it belongs too. By pressing it repeatedly to see who reacts.

And in frantic masses, heads and eyes sweeping desperately, searching for someone reacting to us, as we urgently push buttons, making things now louder, now quiet, then brighter, trying to change all around us, when really we just want to find that one remote that would change ourselves...

I think we're already playing that game.

I love the idea of walking up to your car, unlocking it, and a woman in the vicinity collapsing with a funny grin on her face. :p

EDIT:

I hate you for saying that first and now making me look stupid.:mad:
Ninja'd
What a load of bollocks...while Beeks is on the Earth procreation between the sexes or at least practicing will be alive and kicking ;)
Oh god, you're like The Todd, except not a surgeon.
And in frantic masses, heads and eyes sweeping desperately, searching for someone reacting to us, as we urgently push buttons, making things now louder, now quiet, then brighter, trying to change all around us, when really we just want to find that one remote that would change ourselves...

I think we're already playing that game.

Dude, there's no orgasm button yet, you have to get something put in your spine first.

And in frantic masses, heads and eyes sweeping desperately, searching for someone reacting to us, as we urgently push buttons, making things now louder, now quiet, then brighter, trying to change all around us, when really we just want to find that one remote that would change ourselves...

I think we're already playing that game.

we are? so who's winning? :confused:

Interesting idea. i wonder if you could get one implanted at birth or something? then you would have a whole race of humans stealing eachother's remotes and pressing them during class so that they collapse......:eek:

Here's an even more devious idea. Remote Orgasm as an incentive. Imagine these things hooked up with fitness machines for example, or if it's hooked up to a polygraph.

The more reps the better the thrill, and if you're telling the truth you get happy in your pants.

we are? so who's winning? :confused:

Lunatic Goofballs is tied with Cat Tribes.

Interesting idea. i wonder if you could get one implanted at birth or something? then you would have a whole race of humans stealing eachother's remotes and pressing them during class so that they collapse......:eek:

... thanks for that mental image of a classroom full of 12 yr olds having orgasms... :headbang:

now I charge you with getting rid of said image! :mad:

Dude, there's no orgasm button yet, you have to get something put in your spine first.

Great, one more thing my bad credit will keep me from.

Dude, but Tab A in to Slot B will still be fun. Some things are just better as a pairs sport.

I could see the fun of stealing other people's buttons, though... oh the joy to be had at college parties with those.

... thanks for that mental image of a classroom full of 12 yr olds having orgasms... :headbang:

now I charge you with getting rid of said image! :mad:
Replace 12 year olds with catholic schoolgirls. Smile.
Great, one more thing my bad credit will keep me from.

Totally not fair.

Excellent. This sounds like another excellent form of nonviolent resistance: make war impossible by causing everyone to orgasm.

You want instant orgasm for women? Just show them a picture of me.:cool:

Excellent. This sounds like another excellent form of nonviolent resistance: make war impossible by causing everyone to orgasm.

What better way to make peace?

OMG. Make the pope orgasm. :O

...I think I just made Christianity obsolete.

You want instant orgasm for women? Just show them a picture of me.:cool:

Instant orgasm, not instant death.

Instant orgasm, not instant death.

Aw, be fair; it wouldn't kill them.

Just make them wish they were dead.

Instant orgasm, not instant death.

True, pictures of me cause instant orgasm, not instant death. thank you for pointing that out to people.;)

Edit:

Aw, be fair; it wouldn't kill them.

Just make them wish they were dead.

See the above. Only knowing they will only ever have a picture.

This is setting itself up for some awkward "meet the parents" stories.

Replace 12 year olds with catholic schoolgirls. Smile. :eek: ewww no thanks. my eldest neice is a catholic schoolgirl.

now various NSG women dressed in japanese schoolgirl outfits... :p

Instant orgasm, not instant death.

instant? Death by puking one's guts out isn't instant.

True, pictures of me cause instant orgasm, not instant death. thank you for pointing that out to people.;)


...

Touche. Touche.

Now imagine this guy marketing it.

Right now I cringe at the thought of commercial spots with Rob Schneider.

http://www.switched.com/2008/05/21/10-movie-gadgets-you-might-see-in-real-life-2/

Now, this is just part of an article on 11 fictional devices that are coming closer to reality which is neat, but this particular one should disturb a lotta guys out there.

This reminds me of the Red Dwarf spine chip from the episode "angels and demons" Only in that episode the chip controls all movements and bodily functions against the victims will.

This technology would freak me out if I didn't already understand how it works. The spine is like the cable that sends messages and communica back and forth from the brain. If minute electrical charges are positioned at certain points of the spine certain things will happen. Things ranging from orgasms to punching jerking movements of the limbs.

$17,000? I can probably get a hundred dates for that! With a hundred different ways of doing it, et cetera, et cetera. Call me back when it's under $200. :P





Oh, and something about emotional connection and relationships being not all about sex, or whatever. <.<

Oh god, you're like The Todd, except not a surgeon.

In your endo.

True, pictures of me cause instant orgasm, not instant death. thank you for pointing that out to people.;)[/COLOR]

Orgasm, nausea... same difference.

This technology would freak me out if I didn't already understand how it works. The spine is like the cable that sends messages and communica back and forth from the brain. If minute electrical charges are positioned at certain points of the spine certain things will happen. Things ranging from orgasms to punching jerking movements of the limbs.


Sort of like the ultimate voodoo doll.

Sort of like the ultimate voodoo doll.

Voodun doctor: and now, you will be punished with indescribable pain *presses button*
Victim: OH YES! YES! YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS!
Voodun Doctor: hmmm... I gotta start labeling these buttons better...

It's Official: Straight Men are Going to Become Extinct

Not all. Collaborators to the agenda will be spared.

There's still hope. Learn to give a proper massage!

There's still hope. Learn to give a proper massage!

Quite right. According to this article (http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn4419-orgasmatron-inventor-seeks-female-volunteers.html), the inventor tried to get volunteers for approved trials for two years, and the women weren't interested.

This idea seems to be a hit with men. Frequent sex and fewer complaints about their incompetence.

We should teach people how to have sex. We should teach it in high school!


But Sipski thinks that as long as the required nerves in the body are intact, using a vibrator should work just as well. "My research shows that orgasm is a purely reflex response. Even the sensation associated with orgasm does not require the brain. Women with complete injuries to the spine can still experience orgasm."

(This is very old news. But meh.)

We should teach people how to have sex. We should teach it in high school!


I sometimes have dinner with Rael, a religious leader who teaches this to his followers...in fact, its left him quite unwelcome by some people in France, Canada, and a number of other places.

Once, they passed out condoms at a Catholic High School...(before I knew them).

I've heard of Rael. Granted, the Raelian movement sounds more friendly than our friends from Scientology, but still it's rather far-fetched, to say the least. Oh well, it's a nice break from good old Erich von Däniken, I guess.

That being said, it never hurts to ask your female partner what her erotic preferences and wishes are.

I sometimes have dinner with Rael, a religious leader who teaches this to his followers...in fact, its left him quite unwelcome by some people in France, Canada, and a number of other places.

Once, they passed out condoms at a Catholic High School...(before I knew them).

Ah, that whole "health and respect" aspect is not too controversial in normal schools though.

I was thinking more about pairing the teens up by lottery, and making them practice on each other. Two orgasms per couple is a pass, three is a credit, four a distinction ...

That being said, it never hurts to ask your female partner what her erotic preferences and wishes are.

Unless you are already in restraints when you ask. Then it might.

Voodun doctor: and now, you will be punished with indescribable pain *presses button*
Victim: OH YES! YES! YEEEEEEEEEEESSSSS!
Voodun Doctor: hmmm... I gotta start labeling these buttons better...

Hey this could drastically reduce the number of girls who become sluts. They'll no longer need men to get that sensation they crave, all they need is a spinal implant. This should also help reduce America's teen pregnancy problem. Less STDs, less prostitution and all the nastiness that comes with it. Unfortunately someone will need to make sure this technology isn't misused.

I fail to see how that would make straight men extinct...

Unless you are already in restraints when you ask. Then it might.

By then you probably have a good idea of what her erotic preferences are, so you probably wouldn't be asking.

Hey this could drastically reduce the number of girls who become sluts.

:headbang:

Fewer sluts means it's harder for a guy to get a root when he wants one.

What the hell ? Get 'em on the pill and let them have as much sex as they want. What is it to you ?

I fail to see how that would make straight men extinct...

As I mentioned before, this story was broken by New Scientist (http://www.newscientist.com/article.ns?id=dn397) more than SEVEN YEARS ago.

I clicked through a few of the "amazing inventions" in the OP's article, but my sense that it was aimed at boys with a reading-age of ten became overwhelming after two or three, and the star-trek transporter beam was the final straw. That was about number five.

Draw your own conclusions about the likelihood of the OP's thesis having any basis in fact. ;)

This idea seems familiar. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orgazmo)

We should teach people how to have sex. We should teach it in high school!Nah, but sex ed should teach people how to get themselves off. It's amazing how many people don't know their own pleasure spots.

Nah, but sex ed should teach people how to get themselves off. It's amazing how many people don't know their own pleasure spots.

The "make them practice in school" thing was just aimed at making JuNii's head explode. ;)

You're right! There seems to be this presumption that "innocence" is good and that the partners will work things out for themselves. A 'sex therapist' is tried as the last resort before divorce, once they've already developed a whole lot of habits which aren't working. That's kinda dumb.

Talking It's Official: Straight Men are Going to Become Extinct
Ah man, and I just perfected my George Burns 'turn and look at the audience' move...



...

What?


What do you mean "wrong kind of strai-..." Oh...

:headbang:

Fewer sluts means it's harder for a guy to get a root when he wants one.

What the hell ? Get 'em on the pill and let them have as much sex as they want. What is it to you ?

Fewer sluts means less STDs for men and women alike. Besides whats the point of having sluts when by the time the aforementioned orgasm spine chip is invented we'll have robotic female companions? :D

http://www.switched.com/2008/05/21/10-movie-gadgets-you-might-see-in-real-life-2/

Now, this is just part of an article on 11 fictional devices that are coming closer to reality which is neat, but this particular one should disturb a lotta guys out there.

I'd rather have sex with a straight man than that, thanks.

Hey this could drastically reduce the number of girls who become sluts. They'll no longer need men to get that sensation they crave, all they need is a spinal implant. This should also help reduce America's teen pregnancy problem. Less STDs, less prostitution and all the nastiness that comes with it. Unfortunately someone will need to make sure this technology isn't misused.

Yeah... right. Sex isn't just about coming.

We should teach people how to have sex. We should teach it in high school!

Agreed. :fluffle:

Yeah... right. Sex isn't just about coming.

Girls don't come, men do.

Girls don't come, men do.

....the fuck?

And in frantic masses, heads and eyes sweeping desperately, searching for someone reacting to us, as we urgently push buttons, making things now louder, now quiet, then brighter, trying to change all around us, when really we just want to find that one remote that would change ourselves...

I think we're already playing that game.

That was almost poetic.

Girls don't come, men do.

How is it over there in imaginary land?

Girls don't come, men do.

In my time on nationstates, I have encountered white supremacists, pervaded with a thick, soupy hatred for most of the earth's population...

I have met words with angry, vicious children, eager to call for the mass slaughter of this element of society or that...

I even met a fellow once who advocated that adults should be permitted to engage in scatalogically sexual culmination with the used diapers of children.



What you've said here is worse. I pray that you are jesting, or you will doom us all.

In my time on nationstates, I have encountered white supremacists, pervaded with a thick, soupy hatred for most of the earth's population...

I have met words with angry, vicious children, eager to call for the mass slaughter of this element of society or that...

I even met a fellow once who advocated that adults should be permitted to engage in scatalogically sexual culmination with the used diapers of children.



What you've said here is worse. I pray that you are jesting, or you will doom us all.

You always dress your words up real pretty, all shotguns and lace.

I'd rather have sex with a straight man than that, thanks.

Amen to this and btw, call me sometime? :p


Yeah... right. Sex isn't just about coming.

Ah, case in point, but, unfortunately, it seems to be a much bigger deal for a guy to get his girl off than the other way around.

Which can cause some insecurity and undue focus on the subject.

You always dress your words up real pretty, all shotguns and lace.

Like a Michigan Wedding, where some mouth-breathing trailer folk raise cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon as a GED dropout puts a ring that he bought by selling his 1984 Camaro onto the finger of a girl 8 months pregnant with his cousin's baby, as Uncle and Daddy point a pump action Mossberg, trying to remember if they chambered a shell...

Ah, that whole "health and respect" aspect is not too controversial in normal schools though.

I was thinking more about pairing the teens up by lottery, and making them practice on each other. Two orgasms per couple is a pass, three is a credit, four a distinction ...

Sadly, a lottery would've gotten me better pairings in High School than what I achieved by design...

I've heard of Rael. Granted, the Raelian movement sounds more friendly than our friends from Scientology, but still it's rather far-fetched, to say the least. Oh well, it's a nice break from good old Erich von Däniken, I guess.

That being said, it never hurts to ask your female partner what her erotic preferences and wishes are.

Damn skippy, I'm on board with you there.

Otherwise, she grabs your ears and just steers you like one of those bouncy balls we had as children...

Girls don't come, men do.

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1334/569509988_4c25493003.jpg
I know, old, but c'mon...

New execution method, death by orgasm. Place several people together and use the orgazmo whatever and make them orgasm (bodies vibrate) at the correct frequencies so that they collapse into their fundamental components. Ah, pleasurable death. The new era has begun!

New execution method, death by orgasm. Place several people together and use the orgazmo whatever and make them orgasm (bodies vibrate) at the correct frequencies so that they collapse into their fundamental components. Ah, pleasurable death. The new era has begun!

Now you're a man! M-A-N Man!

God bless Orgazmo...he may be a bad, bad Mormon, but he's a hell of Mah-yun!

its official this conversation is screwed up

Girls don't come, men do.

"To come" means to have an orgasm.

(Just so you know why everyone is laughing at you.)

New execution method, death by orgasm. Place several people together and use the orgazmo whatever and make them orgasm (bodies vibrate) at the correct frequencies so that they collapse into their fundamental components. Ah, pleasurable death. The new era has begun!

Unusual, but not cruel. Yay!

Jhahannam ... bouncy balls with children on ? Forum rules ahoy !

Unusual, but not cruel. Yay!

Jhahannam ... bouncy balls with children on ? Forum rules ahoy !

You remember those things, yeah? Big inflatable balls with a handle, you would straddle it and bounce around?

That's why my adult wife uses my head for if I'm not swift in carrying out her sultry instructions!

Yeah....I'm gonna get yelled at again...

New execution method, death by orgasm. Place several people together and use the orgazmo whatever and make them orgasm (bodies vibrate) at the correct frequencies so that they collapse into their fundamental components. Ah, pleasurable death. The new era has begun!

DEATH BY SNOO SNOO!!

DEATH BY SNOO SNOO!!

Just scrape my pelvis into a dustpan, and give me a closed casket...

My last words: ".....Bea Arthur, you hump like a jackhammer!"

You remember those things, yeah? Big inflatable balls with a handle, you would straddle it and bounce around?

I never had one. But grown-up women do seem to enjoy those exercise balls in ways that just make me jealous. I see them at the gym, squishing their bits into the ball with that faraway look on their faces ...

I had a pogo-stick though! Just about the only 'vehicle' more dangerous than a unicycle ... it suddenly disappeared one day, and my dad became extremely vague on the subject. He is a rotten liar ;)

Yeah....I'm gonna get yelled at again...

Nah, I knew what you meant. But people WILL take that sort of thing the wrong way ... sheer bloody-mindedness I think.

Epic idea for a game. Everyone puts their remote into a suitable container, and they take turns picking one out and trying to identify who it belongs too. By pressing it repeatedly to see who reacts.

... thanks for that mental image of a classroom full of 12 yr olds having orgasms... :headbang:

now I charge you with getting rid of said image! :mad:

You want instant orgasm for women? Just show them a picture of me.:cool:

Ah man, and I just perfected my George Burns 'turn and look at the audience' move...



...

What?


What do you mean "wrong kind of strai-..." Oh...

Girls don't come, men do.

I pronounce this the best thread ever.

I pronounce this the best thread ever.

Yep! If South Liz will just rephrase that to use equivalent terms for males and females, I think I'll sig it. :D

Girls don't come, men do.

Girls do come: you just can't do it right.

Amen to this and btw, call me sometime? :p

Nah, good ol' Rotovia- beat you to it. ;)


Ah, case in point, but, unfortunately, it seems to be a much bigger deal for a guy to get his girl off than the other way around.

Which can cause some insecurity and undue focus on the subject.

See, I think men think it's a bigger deal for a guy to get his girl off than it is for a girl to get her guy off, but women worry about pleasing their man too.

"To come" means to have an orgasm.

(Just so you know why everyone is laughing at you.)

Thanks for clearing that up. :)

By then you probably have a good idea of what her erotic preferences are, so you probably wouldn't be asking.
Eloquency is useless when you're ballgagged, anyway.