NationStates Jolt Archive

It has occurred to me recently that "family values" is a rather muddy term. I realized today that "family" is likewise ambiguous.

So, anyway, whatever your family is.......what does your family value?

Do your choices reflect what you value? Can you give an example?

Do you value things your family does not? Do they value things you do not?

Answer all these questions and more!

Togetherness, self-sacrifice, and love.

I don't think gay marriage would kill any of these things.

[/threadjack]

A family is two or more people who are looking out for each other's backs even when the rain is falling and there is no hope. They are the people who become your umbrella and you their's.

First of all, what I'm going to describe is what I strive towards, and ideas based in our tradition...I'm certainly not saying it is always acheived.

Family:
When First Nations people talk about family, we usually don't just mean our mom, dad, and siblings. We're including all our aunts and uncles, our grandparents and greatgrandparents, our cousins (first, second, third whatever) and so on.

So my concept of family is a very, very large group of people. Also, within the family, the elders related to us by blood are particularly revered. Respect for elders is one of our family values. And I mean big 'E' elders, not necessarily people who reach a certain age.

Respect for children is also paramount. Our family values are very much centered around educating children. They learn by watching, and by doing. Ha, many of my elders have a habit of 'talking to themselves' all the time...while they carry out tasks and so on. But they aren't really talking to themselves, they are teaching as they were taught. Children shouldn't be punished, they should be taught about consequences. Many of our teachings and stories are centered around passing on knowledge about cause and effect.

Another main family value is respect for all our relations...all the living things that we consider part of the extended family. We teach our children not to squish bugs without thought, to rip out plants for fun. A very important thing I grew up with, and expose my children to, is the killing and butchering of animals. It is essential that they know where their food comes from, and the price of that food, so they respect it, and don't waste it. This extends to all the tools and material possessions we have...they should know how it was made, from what, and why.

My husband and I do not value the collection of 'things'. Clutter drives me nuts and I hate having closets full of 'stuff'. I would be quite happy with a bare house, to be honest...the most essential things tucked away and brought out only when needed. What we value much more is our time spent on the land, either here at our home, or in the bush with the family.

Music, storytelling and dance...these things are important to us as a family as well. Books. My children have always seen me reading, and their grandparents and aunts/uncles and cousins reading, so it's natural to them. I think literacy is absolutely vital, oral or otherwise.

Individualism is valued to a certain extent, but our values are defintely more centered around community. Pretty much all we do reflects this.

We value the company of others and their physical and emotional well-being. We communicated openly about problems rather than letting them brew, and we reciprocate favors.

My parents have been divorced since I was 6, and I am now 19.

"family" for me is defined as those who are raised, and those who do the raising. That leaves me, my sister, my mom, and my dad

Thinking has always been our highest priority. When me and my sister did something "wrong", we wern't yelled at, but asked "what were you thinking?". If we could justify our actions, they were okay. Note that I said justify, and not rationalize. We were also raised with the idea "what college will I go to", not "will I go to college".

Respect and honesty are also incredibly high. I wasn't raised in the type of house where I had to call dad "sir" and mom "ma'am", but we did have to show respect. Lying would not be tolerated at all, and was the one thing you would really get in trouble for.

Independence linked with interdependence. We are unique, and should work to strengthen ourselves, but should also understand that we are not an isolate.

My family values the complete assumption of control over the Swedish government, national, regional and municipal. The destruction of all healthy religious marriages, if such a thing truly exists anywhere else than someone's imagination. The recruitment of all children pre-school to gymnasium into our fabulous "lifestyle". We also seek to secure complete control of the media, starting with the largest public service channels, give HIV to as many people as possible so as to get the best dividend from our pharmaceutical investments, host a blasphemous and pornographic art exhibit at every national museum of even the smallest repute and turn people away from Jesus, Brahma, Buddha, Mohammed, Tiamat, causing them to burn forever in hell/not be one with everything.

Time permitting, we also value the general decline of Western Civilization, seeing as we prefer the perverted Japanese one more, but only if we look like we are having way too much fun doing it. So far, we're on schedule.

My family is me, and people who care about me. That's really all that matters.

*snip gay agenda*
We all know you actually want about four rugrats of your own.

I don't think I have any family values.

As an American of Italian and Puerto Rican descent, my definition of family very closely resembles Neesikas... showing up at a wedding or funeral has one meeting one's extended family-- sometimes for the first time.

I've friends I made back in high school and college whom I've been in close contact with for over twenty years. They're my family too, and their kids call me aunt, too.

You support your family emotionally, and if necessary, monetarily. They help you when you need it, and you them -- whether it's taking the kids for a weekend so mom and dad can de-stress, or jumping in the car and tear-assing off cross country because someone is sick or hurt and needs help. It doesn't matter if you're mad at each other -- if there is a crisis, you go and help. You celebrate the ups and commiserate on the downs, and yes, if you're the only adult around and their kids are in trouble, you deal with it/discipline them.

We all know you actually want about four rugrats of your own.

Quiet, you.

My first definition of family is those whom I share a blood relationship.

My second definition of family is those whom I share a faith with.

Ideally it really should be the other way round, but apparently I'm more cultural than I am religious when it comes to family, I guess.

For me it really should be like this: "Anyone who loves his father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves his son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me..." (Matthew 10:37)

It has occurred to me recently that "family values" is a rather muddy term. I realized today that "family" is likewise ambiguous.

So, anyway, whatever your family is.......what does your family value?

Do your choices reflect what you value? Can you give an example?

Do you value things your family does not? Do they value things you do not?

Answer all these questions and more!

For me - family is those people that interact as a family. So - some of my biological connections are not my family, and some people I owe no biological connection to at all, are close family members.

Primarily, my family consists of my household. The second level of my family consists of blood-relatives not in my household, and friends closer than blood.

What do we value - looking out for each other, in whatever terms that comes to mean. Trust. Honesty. Consideration. Thought.

Individual beliefs might differ... religious, political - but what matters most is constant.

I guess I go with the Spaced lesson of the family of the 21st century being your friends which means my family values would be:

don't be a dick
have fun
self-less commitment-ish (within reason)

Respect for elders is one of our family values.

surely you should respect everyone? :p

Independent assessors have valued my family at between two and two and a half million dollar. Only offers equal to or above this amount will be considered. Bidding will commence in half an hour.

Independent assessors have valued my family at between two and two and a half million dollar. Only offers equal to or above this amount will be considered. Bidding will commence in half an hour.

I will give you $12 right now if you throw in the lampshade ;)

I will give you $12 right now if you throw in the lampshade ;)

$13. But you can keep the family.

Family values can kiss the darkest side of the nether region of my ass. There is something about that phrase that makes me cringe. It some how sounds too wholesome and moral.

Independent assessors have valued my family at between two and two and a half million dollar. Only offers equal to or above this amount will be considered. Bidding will commence in half an hour.
Pfft. My family is priceless, but I'm willing to let them go for any reasonable offer. Take them off my hands, and you will be blessed with countless years of drama, suspense, skulduggery, and Machiavellian gamesmanship in every aspect of your life, no matter how important or trivial. My choice to sell them on cheap reflects this. ;)

Oh, and they're loyal, too. No matter what you do, no matter how vicious the dynamic gets, they will never abandon you. They'll never let you go.

Really, they're priced to sell. :)

Pfft. My family is priceless, but I'm willing to let them go for any reasonable offer. Take them off my hands, and you will be blessed with countless years of drama, suspense, skulduggery, and Machiavellian gamesmanship in every aspect of your life, no matter how important or trivial. My choice to sell them on cheap reflects this. ;)

Oh, and they're loyal, too. No matter what you do, no matter how vicious the dynamic gets, they will never abandon you. They'll never let you go.

Really, they're priced to sell. :)

Why am I reminded of a quote....rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists

Why am I reminded of a quote....rustlers, cutthroats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperadoes, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswagglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass kickers, shit kickers and Methodists
Oh, you've met my family! :D



(Thinking.... Harvey Korman?)

Oh, you've met my family! :D



(Thinking.... Harvey Korman?)

Mel Brooks. Blazing Saddles.

And check yer TGs :p

Mel Brooks. Blazing Saddles.

And check yer TGs :p
Yeah, but it was Harvey Korman as Hedley Lamarr dictating the villains-wanted ad to Slim Pickens, right?

Yeah, but it was Harvey Korman as Hedley Lamarr dictating the villains-wanted ad to Slim Pickens, right?

Wow, you were one step ahead of me. I didn't even know. Quite right.

That's Headly Lamarr!

Wow, you were one step ahead of me. I didn't even know. Quite right.

That's Headly Lamarr!
It's one of my favorite movies -- and my family likes it too. ;)

TG'd ya back.

TG'd ya back.

Tag, you're it...

And at risk of derailing another thread...you want to know about my family? OK, here's my family. My father is bipolar with a peter pan complex, teaches medical school, carried on numerous affairs with numerous women during the course of my childhood. Finally split just before I went to college. Before he left, he told my mother he was unhappy with me because I didn't get into Harvard undergrad. I went to Yale...

I'm not sure where he is now. Last I heard, somewhere in the Caribbean.

My mother has an anxiety disorder, although it's understandable given the years she spent with my father. Controlling of every last detail around her, has massive panic attacks in situations she can't control.

My brother recently got out of jail, being caught in an internet sting when cops posed as a 13 year old girl. I won't fill the gaps there, you can figure that one out your own.

My family values? I value staying the fuck away from my family

My family values speaking behind the backs of other members and pointing out and and all inadequacies of said members. I always found this to be quite distasteful. As such, I do my best to be the polar opposite in my dealings with people both within and outside the family.

Tag, you're it...

And at risk of derailing another thread...you want to know about my family? OK, here's my family. My father is bipolar with a peter pan complex, teaches medical school, carried on numerous affairs with numerous women during the course of my childhood. Finally split just before I went to college. Before he left, he told my mother he was unhappy with me because I didn't get into Harvard undergrad. I went to Yale...

I'm not sure where he is now. Last I heard, somewhere in the Caribbean.

My mother has an anxiety disorder, although it's understandable given the years she spent with my father. Controlling of every last detail around her, has massive panic attacks in situations she can't control.

My brother recently got out of jail, being caught in an internet sting when cops posed as a 13 year old girl. I won't fill the gaps there, you can figure that one out your own.

My family values? I value staying the fuck away from my family

At least you met your father.......just saying. Its something I would've like to do, sort of. side note: did you get your JD from Yale?

Gosh, thanks so much for this heartwarming thread, Smunkee. :p

I'm reminded of the "Cain and Abel" episode of the "Stories of the Bible" series on the History Channel, several years ago. One of the series experts was this rabbi whose name I forget, who said about the Cain and Abel story:

"God gives us family to teach us how to live with people we don't necessarily like."

I felt like I understood the story of every Passover and Hannukah in that man's life. :D

Gosh, thanks so much for this heartwarming thread, Smunkee. :p


Can we sing kumbaya now?

Wanna hold my hand? :p

At least you met your father.......just saying. Its something I would've like to do, sort of. side note: did you get your JD from Yale?
I met my father. Several times. He was a vicious, evil, egomaniac. And a bore, too. The best thing my mom ever did was divorce him. His family agreed with her (they sided with her, actually). Now he's dead. Ah, nostalgia.

Can we sing kumbaya now?

Wanna hold my hand? :p
I'd rather sing I Wanna Hold Your Hand. :D

I'd rather sing I Wanna Hold Your Hand. :D

Oh, so you prefer the beatles to akward handholding that leads to even more akward groping around the campfire?

FINE

Oh, so you prefer the beatles to akward handholding that leads to even more akward groping around the campfire?

FINE
Wait, there's a campfire? Oh, well that's different then. ;)

Wait, there's a campfire? Oh, well that's different then. ;)

Where ELSE do you sing kumbaya? Geez, pay attention.

Where ELSE do you sing kumbaya? Geez, pay attention.

I was distracted by all those awkward hands interrupting my memories of dead old dad.

I was distracted by all those awkward hands interrupting my memories of dead old dad.

Wow...now there's a mood killer....

Wow...now there's a mood killer....

Hey, you picked the venue.

And on that note, g'night. :D

I'm not sure how this translates into "family values." We always bicker, sometimes it appears to be pretty vicious. But I can think of no people I'd rather spend time with than my kids. We go to ball games, movies, dinner etc. together. Frequently, we just hang together. If I had to chose between my best friend and my kids, my best friend would go.

We don't have much in common politically or religiously, but we seem to have a shared sense of integrity and honesty (for example, my daughter cashed a check and was given $100 more than the check amount - which she discovered when she got home. She turned around and took it back to the bank).

Both my kids believe in service - they're patriotic, though not blindly - and have both served in the Navy. My daughter is going into the Air Force as a Public Health Officer and my son did a stint in the Denver PD.

What my kids are not - homophobic, intolerant, dishonest, lazy, and willfully ignorant.

What my kids are - stubborn, intelligent, argumentative, confrontational, and hard to convince.

Since I share most of these traits with them (I don't consider myself to be terribly confrontational), I guess you could consider these our family values.

It has occurred to me recently that "family values" is a rather muddy term. I realized today that "family" is likewise ambiguous.

So, anyway, whatever your family is.......what does your family value?

Do your choices reflect what you value? Can you give an example?

Do you value things your family does not? Do they value things you do not?

Answer all these questions and more!


We don't really have family values, more like personal values.

So far, we're on schedule.

Right. Will you (still) find time to adopt me and my unplanned future children?

It has occurred to me recently that "family values" is a rather muddy term. I realized today that "family" is likewise ambiguous.

So, anyway, whatever your family is.......what does your family value?

Do your choices reflect what you value? Can you give an example?

Do you value things your family does not? Do they value things you do not?

Answer all these questions and more!

My mother and I have similar values, some of which are: honesty, helping people in need, being honest about money, working hard etc.

Snip
This might seem a little sad to say, but one of the main things that really ties my family together is the notion that none of us are very good with other people. We all see relating to others as kind of donning a mask to try to sell ourselves, and we all like to throw aside those masks and just be ourselves given the chance. Some of us are quite good at the whole facade - my youngest sister is a great actor, and my dad's professional manner is flawless - but we all find it tiring and really only relax in each other's company.

We don't really agree on much. We're all radically different people in many ways, and I think that's what makes us work as a unit - we can cover each others' backs and point out each others' mistakes without worrying about upsetting some precarious balance. We accept and enjoy our different values and world views because we're comfortable in each others' company. I think that's much more effective than homogenity.

That's a damn good question

This captures much of my family's values and the general bewilderment of others as to what we're doing, probably a statement on the actual world we live in as well:

http://pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF189-Keep_on_Truckin.jpg

It has occurred to me recently that "family values" is a rather muddy term. I realized today that "family" is likewise ambiguous.

So, anyway, whatever your family is.......what does your family value?

Do your choices reflect what you value? Can you give an example?

Do you value things your family does not? Do they value things you do not?

Answer all these questions and more!

We get married before we have children. It makes sense to us. It seems like to do it any other way would be like putting the carriage before the horse.

We pay for our children's college education. In turn they are obligated to pay their children's education expenses.

We honor our mothers and fathers. I like our family's values.

surely you should respect everyone? :p

But not in the same way. Elders are our schools, the keepers of traditional knowledge.

Be nice to your enemies, it confuses them.