NationStates Jolt Archive

An off-shoot of a thought that I brought up in the "Nudity" thread.

In 2002, while writing about the U.S. Army's new field ration, Dave Barry tangentially touched upon the fact that we have a serious problem with our beaches:

The bethonged beach whale, a vile and grotesque species that doesn't deserve to have any part of its name capitalized, unlike other species, such as Dog. Or Red Kangaroo.

This invasive species, which has driven out the native population of attractive, volley-ball playing population, also causes misery for other, less-frequent beach goers, and can seriously harm the eyes of children. And grad-school males going two months without any action because their girlfriend recently dumped them after said male expressed an opinion about the female resetting the radio dials in his car bought with his money and fueled by gas paid for by his job and protected by his insurance.

Anyways, this is a problem, the presence of obscene obesity shamelessly stuffed into a sorry attempt at increasing said obscene object's attractiveness. In fact, it pretty much makes a person really want to puke.

Dave Barry offered a solution, which I would include here:

I think the authorities should crack down (Har!) on this kind of beach attire. I think that Coast Guard ships should patrol along the beaches, and when they spot a large bethonged man ("CHEEKS HO!") I think that -- Greenpeace be damned -- harpoons should be employed.

link (a little past halfway down) (http://www.dchieftain.com/opinion/opinion3_08212002.html)

So, for those that have experienced this terrible thing, what say ye to asking Congress to fix this problem? Now, we may need to figure out a way to label them 'terrorists' for it to work, but that can be easily accomplished. Or should we seek some other solution?

So we should skewer fat people? I'm game.

The fact is that when the aliens come, they'll eat the fat people first so it's really in their interest to skinny down a bit.

Advertising yourself, going someway to pre-cooking yourself on a beach, slap on some butter and coconut flavouring why don't you, is probably not advisable either.

Nothing against fat people, we are what we are, but one should alway be thinking of those aliens.

Oh absolutely.

The fact is that when the aliens come, they'll eat the fat people first so it's really in their interest to skinny down a bit.

Advertising yourself, going someway to pre-cooking yourself on a beach, slap on some butter and coconut flavouring why don't you, is probably not advisable either.

Nothing against fat people, we are what we are, but one should alway be thinking of those aliens.

And then with a Twilight Zone irony everyone finds out that the aliens are health and weight conscious.

And grad-school males going two months without any action because their girlfriend recently dumped them after said male expressed an opinion about the female resetting the radio dials in his car bought with his money and fueled by gas paid for by his job and protected by his insurance.

Wow, you really need to find yourself better girlfriends.

And then with a Twilight Zone irony everyone finds out that the aliens are health and weight conscious.

:)

Good point, knowing my luck...

*starts eating lard*

A couple of things I've run across recently have tied into the problem of obesity;

- Americans now drink more soft drink than anything else, including tap water (the source for this is a BBC documentary on Coca-Cola made a decade or so ago which I watched recently - the CEO of Coca-Cola said it, and I presume he knows these things. It's probably worse now.)

- Due to high import tariffs, sucrose (the stuff from sugarcane or sugar beets) costs about two times more in America than elsewhere in the developed world (IIRC this is on Wikipedia, but I originally read it somewhere else I can't recall).

- Because of this, American soft drinks use high-fructose corn syrup instead of sugar (again, you can find it on Wikipedia but I originally read it elsewhere).

- High-fructose corn syrup has been fairly conclusively linked to obesity.

- Ergo, filthy processed fake soft drink is turning Americans into lardballs. Here's (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/3/35/BRFSS_obesity_1985-2006.gif/300px-BRFSS_obesity_1985-2006.gif) a map by the Center for Disease Control or whatever it's called.

Here's a map by the Center for Disease Control or whatever it's called.

What's going on in Missouri? It's all blank until about '90 and then it goes nuts, pretty much the epicentre of obesity in America.

I think it's the key to the entire mystery.

I'll throw in my theory off the bat - that's where the aliens landed, they're fattening up America from their command HQ in Missouri, where they wouldn't be noticed anyway.

I'm sticking with it.

The thing about that map is that it shows adult obesity - so the trend probably started eighteen years earlier with obese children, who started reaching adulthood in the late Nineties.

And yeah, look at which states are the most obese. It looks like the Bible Belt has been let out a few notches.

The thing about that map is that it shows adult obesity - so the trend probably started eighteen years earlier with obese children, who started reaching adulthood in the late Nineties.

And yeah, look at which states are the most obese. It looks like the Bible Belt has been let out a few notches.

MTV - that's the cause right there.

Well, if it started with obese children who became adults in the late Nineties, that means they were born in the late Seventies/early Eighties. High-Fructose Corn Syrup was invented in the mid-Seventies and adopted in US foods and soft drinks from about 1975-1985; the sugar tariffs which made it particularly economically sensible were instituted in 1982.

That said, there's probably no one proximate cause; it could also be related to more aggressive marketing of sugary foods, more economic prosperity to afford those foods, larger serving sizes (and American serving sizes do tend to be larger than those in the rest of the world) or some hypothetical change in parenting styles (I don't know what that might be, but given that the obesity seems to be a generational cohort it's possible).

*snip*

Well, now I'm actually interested so briefly looking around it seems an area rife with hypothetical causes, from growth hormones added to foods to less actual nutrients in food and many more - an area ripe for special interest groups to throw around information that supports their particular cause.

Interesting, noted in my big book of things to learn more about.

WTF? NSG never ceases to amaze.

A mod hijacks the thread to save it from Spam!

Sure, let's talk about obesity. My mom is somewhere on the borderline between "overweight" and "obese" so I know a little bit about it ... apart from what I read in the paper.

WTF? NSG never ceases to amaze.

A mod hijacks the thread to save it from Spam!

I know, gutted, I'm plotting my revenge as we speak.

Sure, let's talk about obesity. My mom is somewhere on the borderline between "overweight" and "obese" so I know a little bit about it ... apart from what I read in the paper.

Yo mama...

I remember reading reports that there was a virus that was causing obesity, the map provided by Tsaraine is interesting and does look similar to an epidemic spread and I know they call it 'epidemic' as a condition. I'd say it was a convergence of many factors though.

Is obesity a problem in Australia, growing? Similar pattern as the US?

To me, there's no need to search around for answers.

The image of a rich man or woman has always been a fat person. If you are truly poor (bottom half of the world's population) you don't even have the option of being fat.

Putting on weight is a biologically optimal response to having excess food.

Your body is built for boom and bust -- if there's a lot to eat now, store it somehow because there's going to be nothing come the winter.

People enjoy eating. Dammit, sea-anemones enjoy eating. We need to invoke other reasons (vanity, conscious control of health, and now apparently guilt) to not eat lots of the lovely food we have, and thereby grow obese.

This is a thing we will fix. Everyone deserves the thin gene, 'cos pigging out is a very valid source of pleasure. Add up all the good sex you've ever had, balance it against all the good food you've ever had ... and for many of us, it's the food that wins.

*burp*

Pfft. The obesity "Crisis" is caused by two things. The scale they use (No pun intended), and our society's obessesion with weight and appearence. It creates stress for those who THINK that they're overweight, and then said scared people try to eat less. If you miss a meal, your body holds onto calories, becuase it thinks it's being starved. I think you know what happens after a while.

I remember reading reports that there was a virus that was causing obesity, the map provided by Tsaraine is interesting and does look similar to an epidemic spread and I know they call it 'epidemic' as a condition. I'd say it was a convergence of many factors though.

Is obesity a problem in Australia, growing? Similar pattern as the US?

It is. Five, ten years behind ... but that's an advantage in a way, because we can adopt the strategies the US does, earlier in the process.

Then, of course, there's NZ, which makes a point of guessing what we're going to do and doing it five years before, completely cocking it up in the rush, and leaving us wondering whether it might just be better to sell our country to China for a trillion bucks, the way the Soviet Union sold Alaska to ...

[/rant]

I can call you Bazza, right? No, I don't want to know where you're from. :p

To the virus thing, it is certainly interesting. For decades (or more!) stomach ulcers were taken to be "lifestyle" disease, 'til a couple of years back when a virus was identified as the cause. Diet enables it, so to speak, but no virus, no ulcers.

To the virus thing, it is certainly interesting. For decades (or more!) stomach ulcers were taken to be "lifestyle" disease, 'til a couple of years back when a virus was identified as the cause. Diet enables it, so to speak, but no virus, no ulcers.

It's a bacteria not a virus, H. Pylori something or other.

Yet yeah, this was in similar vein - the virus was supposed to deplete the body of Leptitin, or something like that - I need to google these terms.

If you miss a meal, your body holds onto calories, becuase it thinks it's being starved. I think you know what happens after a while.

There is scientific basis to that. Crash diets do more harm than good, likewise no-protein or no-carb or no-fat.

On the other hand, I've missed a LOT of meals, I've gone very hungry for weeks or months at a time (I could tell you it was from laziness, but you wouldn't believe me) and when the food is plentiful I don't hold back.

My weight has stayed steady since I was 21. That's 23 years.

I claim no credit for that. My mom puts on weight with anything she eats, my dad is like me, un-fattenable. I got lucky. :)

My dad is obese and has been at least overweight since he was a child. I feel bad for him because he has had knee and back problems for a long time that make it hard and more painful for him to exercise more, which I guess would make it harder for him to lose weight, and he always seems to be in a lot of pain. He's tried to raise us to be healthy and uses himself as an example for us of what we don't want to emulate weight-wise. Two of us are skinny (like 115 pounds or less) but the other is like 160 pounds, he eats a lot (like he'll eat over 1000 calories at lunch sometimes).

But my dad doesn't go to the beach or anywhere like that in a thong or anything similar.

If you miss a meal, your body holds onto calories, becuase it thinks it's being starved. I think you know what happens after a while.

Wait, so if you're not hungry at meal time is it better to eat anyway or just not eat? Because sometimes if I have breakfast at 10 am, like on a weekend day, I won't be hungry again until 6 PM, and I don't want to eat lunch at the time everyone else in my house is because I don't feel hungry at all and can't stand eating when I'm not hungry. So I completely forget lunch sometimes because I'm not hungry for it, and by the time I'm hungry it's dinner time.
Is that different, because wouldn't I feel at least a little bit hungry if my body was being starved?

Well, if it started with obese children who became adults in the late Nineties, that means they were born in the late Seventies/early Eighties. High-Fructose Corn Syrup was invented in the mid-Seventies and adopted in US foods and soft drinks from about 1975-1985; the sugar tariffs which made it particularly economically sensible were instituted in 1982.

That said, there's probably no one proximate cause; it could also be related to more aggressive marketing of sugary foods, more economic prosperity to afford those foods, larger serving sizes (and American serving sizes do tend to be larger than those in the rest of the world) or some hypothetical change in parenting styles (I don't know what that might be, but given that the obesity seems to be a generational cohort it's possible).

If you watch the animation you'll note it's the poorer states that go flabby first. Probably because poor folk can't afford fresh fruits and veggies, instead eating processed garbage. Mississippi, Alabama, Indiana, West Virginia.

Wow, you really need to find yourself better girlfriends.

Not likely right now. The beaches are full of bethonged beach whales, driving away any prospective attempt for me to find an attractive grad student female. And because I live in a tiny coastal community, there is literally nowhere else to find such a person. :headbang: