NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.areyoubritishinbed.co.uk

Probably an old meme, but I was sent it today. Creepy thing? I am: "66% Swedish in Bed!" with the following blurb:

You have no inhibitions in the bedroom! For you the naked body is to be used as a medium of expression, like painting or sculpture. Indeed, if you had your way all underwear would be banned, even on old ladies during winter.

Well, if it were up to me, the little old ladies could keep their knickers on if they wanted to. I've taken it a few times and I keep coming out Swedish (it asks different questions).

What nationality do you get? This might be fun.

69% Russian.

You will inspire others to stage their own sexual revolutions for generations to come. You're a Czar in the bedroom. Merely satisfying a partner will never be enough for you... you must conquer them completely.

65% Brazilian, apparently. I'm not sure why--the description and my answers to the questions don't match up.

51% Italian.

Making love is a religious experience!

Passion is everything. Merely holding hands with your loved one can move you to tears and you periodically set fire to your bed after sex as a sacrifice to the Gods of Love.

67% Russian

LMAO love this game;.

I'm 65% congolese in bed.

You are wild & unpredictable!

Like the murky waters of the Congo, your lovemaking is wild and unpredictable, and always, always deep. You are very possessive of your territory in the bed and always put up a fight before being conquered.

According to that meme I´m:

88% Brazilian in bed.

Your bedroom powers are legendary.

Your lovemaking technique is an extension of the samba; sensual, athletic, rhythmic, full of meaning and like the samba it keeps going until daylight or until the neighbors call the police. Give yourself a pat on the back, but be careful, you´re liable to give yourself an orgasm.

W00T!

Firewall blocks it... so I guess my company is American (USA) :p

According to that meme I´m:

88% Brazilian in bed.

Your bedroom powers are legendary.

Your lovemaking technique is an extension of the samba; sensual, athletic, rhythmic, full of meaning and like the samba it keeps going until daylight or until the neighbors call the police. Give yourself a pat on the back, but be careful, you´re liable to give yourself an orgasm.

W00T!

LMAO thats ubber hot.

LMAO thats ubber hot.

It is. Brazilians are notorious lovers and famous for being excellent in bed. Is that true?:D

I can't get passed the first Q. :(

It is. Brazilians are notorious lovers and famous for being excellent in bed. Is that true?:D

Yep. lol
I can count in my right hand the numbers of time that I've been with someone bad in bed. And that says a lot lol

"67% Italian.

Making love is a religious experience!

Passion is everything. Merely holding hands with your loved one can move you to tears and you periodically set fire to your bed after sex as a sacrifice to the Gods of Love."

Fun quiz.

Yep. lol
I can count in my right hand the numbers of time that I've been with someone bad in bed. And that says a lot lol

Is that so? Hey, how´s it going?;)

75% French. It's a performance art.
70% Congolese.
69% Italian.

Freaky.

51% Brazilian. :cool:

50% French baby

Is that so? Hey, how´s it going?;)

Lol :cool:

I've heard french people are also great in bed, can anyone tell me if its true?

Lol :cool:

I've heard french people are also great in bed, can anyone tell me if its true?

I´ve heard the same.

86% Russian

*conquers hubby*

I actually do have an inflatable sheep... long story.

86% Russian

*conquers hubby*

I actually do have an inflatable sheep... long story.

I want to hear it.

86% Russian

*conquers hubby*

I actually do have an inflatable sheep... long story.

Woman, why would you have an inflatable sheep?!:eek:

Ah, I know. You like RPing as Little Bo´ Peep!:D

I´ve heard the same.

They sound sexy, they look beautiful and their wine is divine. They must be amazing in bed.

They sound sexy, they look beautiful and their wine is divine. They must be amazing in bed.

Or... all of the above are compensating for the lack of SOMETHING...

82% Taiwanese.

"You live to pleasure others. You embrace technology and gadgets and are not afraid to use the science of personal lubrication in the bedroom to make sure your partner always receives the utmost pleasure. Depending on battery life, that is."

Woman, why would you have an inflatable sheep?!:eek:

Ah, I know. You like RPing as Little Bo´ Peep!:D

It was a present, a gag gift. It's even got a.. .uh... tab A slot B type of set up in it's uh....hind quarters.....

82% Taiwanese.

"You live to pleasure others. You embrace technology and gadgets and are not afraid to use the science of personal lubrication in the bedroom to make sure your partner always receives the utmost pleasure. Depending on battery life, that is."

Well, hello there Mr. Taiwan.

It was a present, a gag gift. It's even got a.. .uh... tab A slot B type of set up in it's uh....hind quarters.....

I like you.:D

It was a present, a gag gift. It's even got a.. .uh... tab A slot B type of set up in it's uh....hind quarters.....

I kind of figured as much. We got one guy at my old job a blow-up goat.

His online name was Goatse...

I kind of figured as much. We got one guy at my old job a blow-up goat.

His online name was Goatse...

Ah, that damn Goatse. Straughn quoted me that goat one time.

53% Taiwanese...

...the real question is, what's the other 47%?

Well, hello there Mr. Taiwan.:D

I has massage tips!

:D

I has massage tips!

Uh uh! Me, me! I want some massage tips!! Or a massage.:D

I am apparently Taiwanese. That description is also surprisingly accurate, given how silly the questions were...

Apparently I'm 88% Swedish.

60% Swedish. WTF?

89% Brazilian.

Damn straight.

50% Taiwanese and then, since that wasn't decisive enough for me, 83% Italian. Both were surprisingly accurate. Especially, the gadgets and "lovemaking as a religious experience" parts. :D

85% Congolese. On account of my python, of course. ;)

53% Brazilian

Your bedroom powers are legendary

Your love making is an extension of the samba; sensual, athletic, rhythmic, full of meaning and like the samba; it keeps going until daylight or until a neighbor calls the police. Give yourself a pat on the back, but be careful, you're liable to give yourself an orgasm.

Images that would make you think of things to do in the bedroom.. statue & faceless man
massage.. grab the oil..
role play Antony & Cleopatra
what you would prefer your partner to dress up as -- fireman
places you've done it.. underwater.

55% French...

"Your lovemaking is a preformance art.

A form of highbrow expression every bit as rich, complex, and meaningful as cinema, literature, or ballet."


It appears my arrogance and superiority complex (as well as the belief that Im more enlightened then most) translates into my sexual encounters as well.

53% Taiwanese...

...the real question is, what's the other 47%?

Yeah, I'd like to know my other 47% too.

1st time: 73% Russian. 2nd time: 54% French. Neither is that bad a description...

Apparently 57% Taiwanese.

Second time through with a couple different questions I still got Taiwanese but this time at 83%.

Third time 51% Brazilian. Most questions were different this time.

Took it again.. all different questions.

Which food would you prefer to eat off your lover.. Gelato
What's your bpm (bang per minute) i picked slow/moderate..
Injury .. only a crash..
If the phone rings .. i'd just ignore it.. almost chose smash it .. but that would only happen if the thing kept on ringing.. and i know it wouldn't (voice mail would pick up rather quick) if I had time to think about it beforehand it would be turned off.

74% Congolese

Like the murky waters of the Congo, your love making is wild and unpredictable, and always, always deep. You are very possessive of your territory in the bedroom and always put up a fight before being conquered.

Just for shits and giggles:

First Time (to recap): 55% French

2nd Time: All new questions, this time 54% Taiwanese.

3rd Time: Mix of new and old, 69% (lawl) French.

88% brazilian ftw!

I also got congolese and swedish.

88% brazilian ftw!

I also got congolese and swedish.

Well Fass listed the swede take.. I myself got brazil and congo .. so.. you freaky! :p

83% Italian
76% Congolese

I like her accent. :)

72% Taiwanese

75% Italian! I love how it gave me an opera song as my special tune, as well as some massage tips! Just for the record, the Italian believes:

"Passion is everything. Merely holding hands with your loved one can move you to tears and you periodically set fire to your bed after sex as a sacrifice to the Gods of Love."

5 stars!

First try:
64% Taiwanese.

"You live to pleasure others. You embrace technology and gadgets and are not afraid to use the science of personal lubrication in the bedroom to make sure your partner always receives the utmost pleasure. Depending on battery life, that is."

Second try:

81% Italian

"Making love is a religious experience! Passion is everything. Merely holding hands with your loved one can move you to tears and you periodically set fire to your bed after sex as a sacrifice to the Gods of Love."

Third try:

77% Brazilian

"Your bedroom powers are legendary.

Your lovemaking technique is an extension of the samba; sensual, athletic, rhythmic, full of meaning and like the samba it keeps going until daylight or until the neighbors call the police. Give yourself a pat on the back, but be careful, you´re liable to give yourself an orgasm."

A fourth try has me at 61% Italian.. again. Seeing how the gadget is nice, but not stunning enough to do it five times (and rather frustrating to take seeing how it constantly reminds me that my, uh, intimate partner is currently very much not available), I shall leave it at that and call myself a cosmopolitan lover with Italian leanings.

86% Italian

77% Congolese:eek:

54% Russian in bed. :p

73% French on the first go, 85% Italian on the second...

86% Italian

2nd time: 84% Swedish

Congolese 50%

I wonder what the other 50% is :gundge:

Why this one said 86% congolese is beyond me. Says I am wild and unpredictable. I lied for the most part anyway, couldn't answer the first question because none applied.

I'm 80% Congolese?

I took it a second time.

I´m 74% Brazilian. Yet again!!:D

63% French. But I'll never actually find out.

63% French. But I'll never actually find out.

Why?:eek:

51% Congolese.

hmm, 55% Taiwanese, 59% French, 51% Brazilian with most of the same questions each time (and giving the same answers to those questions).

Did anyone else find the way the questions were asked (i.e the woman and the accent) quite amusing?

Taiwanese.

Gawd-damn. Why does everything personality based think I'm Asian?

Why?:eek:

Sorry, it's just my low self esteem thing (I don't believe I will ever have sex.)

Sorry, it's just my low self esteem thing (I don't believe I will ever have sex.)

You're a young pup yet. Relax.

Sorry, it's just my low self esteem thing (I don't believe I will ever have sex.)

Nonesense! I´m sure you´ll have sex someday. You´ll see.

I did the quiz twice and got Congolese both times.


:s

You're a young pup yet. Relax.

I know, it's just that occasionally when I do take the time to think a lot about this shit (specifically when I see people [friends] making out in front of me) I have been known to go into a completely depressed state.

Nonesense! I´m sure you´ll have sex someday. You´ll see.

I know that too. I just have trouble imagining it, because I consider myself not very attractive, and most of the girls I know share that opinion. (because many of my friends are girls)

Sorry, it's just my low self esteem thing (I don't believe I will ever have sex.)
I didn't until I was 23. You'll be fine.

I'm 76% Taiwanese.

1.- Cards: Underwater Club Card, but I call a bias, I can carry more than one of those.

2.- The staring cat: I stroke the cat lovingly. I love cats. A lot.

3.- How much is long enough for me?: I guess, it was that long, enough. An inch more than the distance between the extended thumb and the tip of the middle finger.

4.- Introduce some lube means..:Yeah, introduce K-Y, that sells around here. (And well, K-Y around here means only one thing...The lube word means you want...Well, that. Sneak into the club through the backdoor)

5.- Nickname: Gazpacho, for the humour capability. "Ven aquí mi bello gazpachito".

My God, I'm swedish! 85 percent swedish!

But the only swedish...?...(Well, I'm not sure if he was swedish or norwegian) I met was rather...sloppy in bed. And the snoring type. And blonde!.

I call shenanigans and go for a second try.

1.- Some food to lick off?: Gelato. I love icecream, and it's sticky and sweet enough. I have done it off the face and the chest, actually.

2.- The massive vagina exposure?: Noone has ever applauded my genitalia. Guess I'll ask for that next time.

3.- Cosplay?: Bonnie and Clyde, that would rock on so many levels.

4.- Foreplay: Less than 20 minutes of foreplay since the first kiss until you invade my body will leave unsatisfied. Less than 10 will get you outta of whatever place we are trying to do this.

5.- Filming?: I'm not attracted to swedish people, or to plumbers, or to policemen. Even less to cheerleaders with pompoms!. Some men, specially football players look good with only their socks on...

80 per cent italian. That's better. I take it. Even if they are sticky as hell, they are great in bed as far as I know. (Although I haven't still prove the purebreed variety, only half italians or 3/4 italians). I have some italian blood so it's ok.

I know that too. I just have trouble imagining it, because I consider myself not very attractive, and most of the girls I know share that opinion. (because many of my friends are girls)

It´s just a phase. It´ll pass.

I didn't until I was 23. You'll be fine.

I'm 76% Taiwanese.

It´s just a phase. It´ll pass.

Yeah, I know. One of my friends was just telling me I shouldn't have such a static vision of the future.

Yeah, I know. One of my friends was just telling me I shouldn't have such a static vision of the future.

And that friend of yours is right, you know.

i think something went wrong, i'm 89% brazilian.

Your bedroom powers are legendary.

Your lovemaking technique is an extension of the samba; sensual, athletic, rhythmic, full of meaning and like the samba it keeps going until daylight or until the neighbors call the police. Give yourself a pat on the back, but be careful, you´re liable to give yourself an orgasm.

I didn't until I was 23.

:O

secodn time i got swedish.

Is it actually possible to get negative feedback? First time I just went naturally and I got Russian. Next time I tried to get something bad, I even choose to lick battered sausage off my partner. It still gave me Russian... Bah!

52% Brazilian

Your bedroom powers are legendary.

Your lovemaking technique is an extension of the samba; sensual, athletic, rhythmic, full of meaning and like the samba it keeps going until daylight or until the neighbors call the police. Give yourself a pat on the back, but be careful, you´re liable to give yourself an orgasm.

*sigh* If only my ex saw/remembered that..... *grumbles*

Kudos to Fass *tips hat*

62% Italian first time

Second

90% swedish ... wtf????

who know, maybe a little of both, I do consider love-making a near religious experience, but I also consider the body a work of art, thus the massage classes in college.


Oh, and chasing down that damn "yes" button on the "Have you genetalia ever been spontaenously applauded?" question was hella hard. But yes, it has, I play water polo. It never said what sex had to applaud my junk, it just so happened I was talking to a hot girl and my teammate took a little advantage.


So, who wants a massage, it is an expertise of mine. :p

I´m 100% Nanatsu no Tsuki. That´s my sexuality.

:O
I have no social skills. This shouldn't surprise anyone.

I have no social skills. This shouldn't surprise anyone.

My first time wasn't until I was 21, for pretty much the same reason.

I got Russian, Congolese, and French. The questions are funny, but they get repetitious quickly...

And that friend of yours is right, you know.

I know. It's just that I don't want to change myself. I'll probably change naturally, but I don't want to actively change myself, even if that means being a more positive person.