NationStates Jolt Archive


Let's talk about "Friends with Benefits"?

Wilgrove
09-05-2008, 02:05
So, how do the citizen of NSG feel about Friends with Benefits? Personally I never fully done it and probably won't. I'm not going to have sex just for the sake of having sex. However, if a friend assures me that our friendship will get serious (IE Relationship) then maybe I could see myself sleeping with the friend. But, I'm going to have to be sure it's going to get serious.

How about you guys?
Dyakovo
09-05-2008, 02:07
However, if a friend assures me that our friendship will get serious (IE Relationship) then maybe I could see myself sleeping with the friend. But, I'm going to have to be sure it's going to get serious.

Just make sure that he says yes...
Nanatsu no Tsuki
09-05-2008, 02:07
So, how do the citizen of NSG feel about Friends with Benefits? Personally I never fully done it and probably won't. I'm not going to have sex just for the sake of having sex. However, if a friend assures me that our friendship will get serious (IE Relationship) then maybe I could see myself sleeping with the friend. But, I'm going to have to be sure it's going to get serious.

How about you guys?

Whoever likes that, kudos. I´ve never had a friend with benefits.
Dyakovo
09-05-2008, 02:09
Whoever likes that, kudos. I´ve never had a friend with benefits.

*volunteers*
:D
Skalvia
09-05-2008, 02:09
Meh, maybe...If I was really Drunk, and she was really hot, lol...

But, on the whole, no, If you cant count on them in the future, whats the point?...
Nerotika
09-05-2008, 02:09
So, how do the citizen of NSG feel about Friends with Benefits? Personally I never fully done it and probably won't. I'm not going to have sex just for the sake of having sex. However, if a friend assures me that our friendship will get serious (IE Relationship) then maybe I could see myself sleeping with the friend. But, I'm going to have to be sure it's going to get serious.

How about you guys?

thats what X does for you...everything, and everyone feels amazing and you forget friendship and just see the tits. :D
Janillmari
09-05-2008, 02:10
girl here: umm anyone looking for one lol..
Dyakovo
09-05-2008, 02:12
girl here: umm anyone looking for one lol..

Depends, how sexy (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=556158) are you?
Janillmari
09-05-2008, 02:13
Depends, how sexy (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=556158) are you?

pretty damn..lol..

are you you sure you can handle it lol..
Dyakovo
09-05-2008, 02:14
pretty damn..lol..

are you you sure you can handle it lol..

Actually, I am 100% certain that my wife would kill me, so no.
New Manvir
09-05-2008, 02:15
Whoever likes that, kudos. I´ve never had a friend with benefits.

I could be a friend to you

http://www.mfbb.net/reaper/images/smiles/tlab06.gif
Janillmari
09-05-2008, 02:16
Actually, I am 100% certain that my wife would kill me, so no.

oh thats sad.. lol
Barringtonia
09-05-2008, 02:17
If both sides are being honest then it can work, but it can lead to serious loss of friendship.
Skalvia
09-05-2008, 02:20
Tell you what...

NSG has gotten progressively Sexier as of late?

Whats up with that? lol
Nerotika
09-05-2008, 02:21
pretty damn..lol..

are you you sure you can handle it lol..

but you never answered, pre-op or post-op :p

Its all cause i've gotten in on the NSG act...im just so sexy it spreads.
Nanatsu no Tsuki
09-05-2008, 02:21
I could be a friend to you

http://www.mfbb.net/reaper/images/smiles/tlab06.gif

Lolwut?
Dreamlovers
09-05-2008, 02:23
Having friends with benefits makes your life easier. It makes the sex safer and funnier. You'll be doing your friend so you can be honest about what you like and how you like it. You can't do that with strangers, I mean you can but it'd be awkard.
I used to have a couple of friends like that, but they're dating now so there ain't gonna be any benefit for me now lol.
Call to power
09-05-2008, 02:24
depends how well you can juggle and how mature the other person/s is all in all I say go for it as long as you both know where it is going.

disclaimer: I will not mention those who are friends first because I don't think I need to

I'm not going to have sex just for the sake of having sex.

yeah we will see what your penis says one night when their image just pops in your head...dammit I'm going to make a thread soon on this I just know it :mad:

erm oh yeah don't make stupid bets that know you will break :p

However, if a friend assures me that our friendship will get serious (IE Relationship) then maybe I could see myself sleeping with the friend. But, I'm going to have to be sure it's going to get serious.

*sigh* if it wasn't for NS you would find yourself enslaved rather rapidly wouldn't you? don't you get it! this is a woman if she says such lies all she wants to do is make you her new emotional tampon
Dyakovo
09-05-2008, 02:25
oh thats sad.. lol

Not to mention the fact that I just noticed that you're younger than my eldest son, so that would be a major bit of weirdness right there...
Skalvia
09-05-2008, 02:26
*sigh* if it wasn't for NS you would find yourself enslaved rather rapidly wouldn't you? don't you get it! this is a woman if she says such lies all she wants to do is make you her new emotional tampon

so THATS what "No Self-Esteem" by the Offspring was about, lol....

just made me think of that song...
Call to power
09-05-2008, 02:27
Not to mention the fact that I just noticed that you're younger than my eldest son, so that would be a major bit of weirdness right there...

but you could do all those things you never got to do with your own kids :)

edit:
so THATS what "No Self-Esteem" by the Offspring was about, lol....

just made me think of that song...

duuude you just admitted to listening to the offspring :P
Dyakovo
09-05-2008, 02:28
but you could do all those things you never got to do with your own kids :)

Ummm, that's really creepy CtP...
Nerotika
09-05-2008, 02:28
but you could do all those things you never got to do with your own kids :)

:eek: there's alot of creepy things said but that has to top the charts...
Nanatsu no Tsuki
09-05-2008, 02:29
*sigh* if it wasn't for NS you would find yourself enslaved rather rapidly wouldn't you? don't you get it! this is a woman if she says such lies all she wants to do is make you her new emotional tampon

Emotional tampon... CTP, you´re a genius and sigg worthy all the time.:D
Damaske
09-05-2008, 02:29
So, how do the citizen of NSG feel about Friends with Benefits? Personally I never fully done it and probably won't. I'm not going to have sex just for the sake of having sex. However, if a friend assures me that our friendship will get serious (IE Relationship) then maybe I could see myself sleeping with the friend. But, I'm going to have to be sure it's going to get serious.

How about you guys?Then that wouldn't be a "friend with benefits".

My take on the whole idea..meh. Not for me. There could be a good chance that the friendship will change drastically, and I would rather keep my friends as friends..not "fuck buddies".
Skalvia
09-05-2008, 02:30
duuude you just admitted to listening to the offspring :P

You dont like the Offspring?


I didnt even know you could use those words in the same sentence, lol...
Conserative Morality
09-05-2008, 02:31
*sigh* if it wasn't for NS you would find yourself enslaved rather rapidly wouldn't you? don't you get it! this is a woman if she says such lies all she wants to do is make you her new emotional tampon
CTP is right Wilgrove, You would be pretty much enslaved without some of the more sensible people on here. You might end up like that anyway, Unless you LISTEN TO US! HEED OUR WARNINGS! Well, at least CTP's.:p
greed and death
09-05-2008, 02:31
Friends with benefits is a good idea in theory.

In practice one of the parties gets attached and the friendship ends in a disaster.

A few months of awkwardness, or a half-assed relationship seem the best result.

Never talking again seems to be the worst result.

Id like to point out that i still end up involved in these affairs however. So any attractive young ladies near Texas hit me up.
Dyakovo
09-05-2008, 02:38
Friends with benefits is a good idea in theory.

In practice one of the parties gets attached and the friendship ends in a disaster.

A few months of awkwardness, or a half-assed relationship seem the best result.

Never talking again seems to be the worst result.

Id like to point out that i still end up involved in these affairs however. So any desperate young ladies near Texas hit me up.

Fixed ;)
Greater Trostia
09-05-2008, 02:40
What kind of benefits are we talking here, health, dental...?

I've had friends with sex before. I mean sex with friends. Well, once or twice. It's never quite just "friends" once you've had sex in recent memory with them, though it can become that again with the thorough application of no-sex.
The Atlantian islands
09-05-2008, 02:45
So, how do the citizen of NSG feel about Friends with Benefits? Personally I never fully done it and probably won't. I'm not going to have sex just for the sake of having sex. However, if a friend assures me that our friendship will get serious (IE Relationship) then maybe I could see myself sleeping with the friend. But, I'm going to have to be sure it's going to get serious.

How about you guys?
I have done / will do again friends with benefits. I like it very much. None of the complicated mess a relationship comes with.

You dont like the Offspring?
I love the Offspring.
New Manvir
09-05-2008, 03:59
Lolwut?

I'm talking about this

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=GVTN5o9Kgu8&feature=related
Soviestan
09-05-2008, 05:41
I've done it, a couple of times actually. Fun at the time, slightly regrettable later on however.
DrunkenDove
09-05-2008, 05:50
Simple solution: Just go out with each other already.
greed and death
09-05-2008, 05:54
Simple solution: Just go out with each other already.

there are actually girls I wont date, but when drunk and single it just sort of happens.
DrunkenDove
09-05-2008, 05:55
there are actually girls I wont date, but when drunk and single it just sort of happens.

Drunk scoring is a different story.
Dempublicents1
09-05-2008, 06:03
Not my thing, since I'm not interested in casual sex.

But I don't have a problem with others doing it so long as both people are clear that casual sex is all that it is.
greed and death
09-05-2008, 06:40
Drunk scoring is a different story.

lol but if it is a friend it is both.
i have to drunk talk her into it wont get weird and we will still be friends afterwards.
then gets weird and we don't talk for 6 months.
Straughn
09-05-2008, 07:22
Fine theory, just difficult in practice.
Levee en masse
09-05-2008, 08:41
:confused:

I was expecting a thread about people we know on welfare.
Ad Nihilo
09-05-2008, 09:26
Done it and it's all pretty good. Still friends and all, even though we've both gone through relationships since.

Nothing going on at the moment so i'll take *pretty* volunteers :D
Cabra West
09-05-2008, 10:03
So, how do the citizen of NSG feel about Friends with Benefits? Personally I never fully done it and probably won't. I'm not going to have sex just for the sake of having sex. However, if a friend assures me that our friendship will get serious (IE Relationship) then maybe I could see myself sleeping with the friend. But, I'm going to have to be sure it's going to get serious.

How about you guys?

Depends how intense the friendship is. In a very close friendship, I would not consider it. A mere acquaintance, possibly.
The reason for this is, I'm in a relationship and happily so. We're both open about sex, so having sex with others is not really a big problem for either of us. However, I do not want to run the risk of causing any sort of emotional entaglement, which is why I keep some emotional distance with people I have sex with. No close friends, so. :)
Wandering Angels
09-05-2008, 11:52
it led me to heart break
Dumb Ideologies
09-05-2008, 12:15
It depends. I'm a big believer in personal responsibility. If being on welfare was merely a temporary measure, then fine. Otherwise, I'd have to tell them, friend or not, that they should make more effort to find work and get off the benefit. Even if they were the victim of structural unemployment, I would tell them that they had a moral duty to retrain and find a new form of work.

This is what you mean by 'friends with benefits', right?
Bottle
09-05-2008, 12:26
So, how do the citizen of NSG feel about Friends with Benefits? Personally I never fully done it and probably won't. I'm not going to have sex just for the sake of having sex. However, if a friend assures me that our friendship will get serious (IE Relationship) then maybe I could see myself sleeping with the friend. But, I'm going to have to be sure it's going to get serious.

How about you guys?
I've had a number of what you call friends with benefits, and it's never cost me a friendship yet. I also have only ended up dating one such friend, and he's my current partner of 5+ years.

I don't have a problem with the idea of sex for the sake of mutual pleasure alone. I certainly don't believe in automatically pairing sex with love, and I'm not remotely interested in using it for reproduction, and the pleasure aspect is pretty keen.
Laerod
09-05-2008, 12:42
So, how do the citizen of NSG feel about Friends with Benefits? Personally I never fully done it and probably won't. I'm not going to have sex just for the sake of having sex. However, if a friend assures me that our friendship will get serious (IE Relationship) then maybe I could see myself sleeping with the friend. But, I'm going to have to be sure it's going to get serious.

How about you guys?This better not be inspired by an offer from that one girl you've blogged about.

As to my answer, depends on what mood I'm in. I've done it before, but it depends on the person and the circumstances.
Entropic Creation
09-05-2008, 18:22
Why shouldn't you have sex with friends?
Provided you are both mature adults, there is nothing wrong with it, while it has so many benefits.

A regular partner who you know well and can communicate with has the potential for some fantastic sex. Friends tend to be very caring, giving, and willing to have some wild fun.

It is far better than sleeping with random hookups.
Honestly, do you really think you are going to have a lasting loving relationship with the drunk boy you just picked up at a bar? Why not have sex with someone you care about rather than a random stranger - it is safer and almost always much better.
Everywhar
09-05-2008, 18:32
This is murky territory for me. I have never been successful at having sexual interaction with my friends (unfortunately). I think that in order to be ethical in a Friends with Benefits situation, you need the following:

1) Friendship (duh, but you'd be surprised)
2) Open communication (nothing to ruin a friendship quite like one person thinking there was a relationship and the other thinking about a Friend with Benefits).
3) Respect. At all stages, communication is necessary but insufficient. If one person has desires and concerns, he/she must be able to communicate them with a reasonable expectation that you (yes, you) will honor them.
4) Perspective. You are friends with benefits. You are also friends. Friends need to do a variety of things to strengthen their ties, including participating in activities the other finds interesting, and not sticking to one activity all the time. Dynamism prevents everything from being all about the sex and prevents each of you from losing track of the friendship.

I'd love it people could add anything I forgot.
Babelistan
09-05-2008, 18:54
You dont like the Offspring?


I didnt even know you could use those words in the same sentence, lol...

hehe too bad they are a punk band, nice name for quasi-demonic baby-worshiping and afterwards making it into tasty beersnacks cult.
Pirated Corsairs
09-05-2008, 19:46
<snip> Friends with Benefits <snip>

I heartily endorse this product and/or service.
Neo Bretonnia
09-05-2008, 20:20
I could never have a friend with benefits... She'd just fall in love with me.

:D
Dyakovo
09-05-2008, 21:31
I could never have a friend with benefits... She'd just fall in love with me.

:D

*puts on hip waders*
Nanatsu no Tsuki
09-05-2008, 23:42
I'm talking about this

http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=GVTN5o9Kgu8&feature=related

ROFL!!
Sumamba Buwhan
09-05-2008, 23:45
I've never had a friendship go bad from having sex with them - I can understand how some people can't handle it though - it's hard for a lot of people to separate romantic love from sex.
Nanatsu no Tsuki
09-05-2008, 23:54
I've never had a friendship go bad from having sex with them - I can understand how some people can't handle it though - it's hard for a lot of people to separate romantic love from sex.

Hey... wanna be my friend?;)
Marrakech II
10-05-2008, 01:09
Hey... wanna be my friend?;)

Sumamba Buwhan I think her plans are to use you as an emotional tampon. Run like hell!!
Nanatsu no Tsuki
10-05-2008, 01:11
Sumamba Buwhan I think her plans are to use you as an emotional tampon. Run like hell!!

ROLFMFAO!
Everywhar
10-05-2008, 01:18
ROLFMFAO!
Seconded. :eek:
Johnny B Goode
10-05-2008, 02:17
So, how do the citizen of NSG feel about Friends with Benefits? Personally I never fully done it and probably won't. I'm not going to have sex just for the sake of having sex. However, if a friend assures me that our friendship will get serious (IE Relationship) then maybe I could see myself sleeping with the friend. But, I'm going to have to be sure it's going to get serious.

How about you guys?

I would do it. I seriously don't want the pressure and all of the shit that comes with a relationship, but knowing that someone would appreciate me physically...that'd be awesome. Two of my friends were actually FWBs with each other (not shagging or anything) but they broke it off, because the girl didn't even like doing it that much. I was so depressed (EXTREMELY depressed) that day though. I don't know why, just so depressed.
The Plutonian Empire
10-05-2008, 02:33
I'd love to have a friend with benefits, but I couldn't handle it 'cuz I"m too sensitive (i'd be wanting it to evolve into something more). :(
Jello Biafra
10-05-2008, 02:54
Sure, why not? Especially if it turns out that you don't want the same things from a relationship, or don't want a relationship at all?

Its all cause i've gotten in on the NSG act...im just so sexy it spreads.STDs tend to do that. ;) (yes, I'm kidding).

duuude you just admitted to listening to the offspring :PThe Smash album was fantastic.

Not my thing, since I'm not interested in casual sex.

But I don't have a problem with others doing it so long as both people are clear that casual sex is all that it is.I dunno, I think if you're friends it's semi-formal.
Entropic Creation
10-05-2008, 08:06
I would do it. I seriously don't want the pressure and all of the shit that comes with a relationship, but knowing that someone would appreciate me physically...that'd be awesome. Two of my friends were actually FWBs with each other (not shagging or anything) but they broke it off, because the girl didn't even like doing it that much. I was so depressed (EXTREMELY depressed) that day though. I don't know why, just so depressed.

Perhaps you're not entirely clear what friends with benefits means...
the "benefits" means they are having sex.

unless by shagging you meant installing carpet? ;)
Entropic Creation
10-05-2008, 08:17
Not my thing, since I'm not interested in casual sex.

But I don't have a problem with others doing it so long as both people are clear that casual sex is all that it is.
Actually, from my point of view, friends with benefits doesnt necessarily mean casual sex. Sex with a friend (and by friend I mean someone who is actually a good friend, not just someone that hangs out in the same social circle) can be a rich experience sharing a close emotional bond, it just happens to be with someone to whom you're not romantically attached.

I do have casual sex with some friends where it is entirely just a physical romp for fun (no different than playing any other sport with them, just more enjoyable), basically just using the other as a sex toy, while I have a very close emotional connection with others, turning the benefits into some thing practically indistinguishable from (if you will pardon the sappy term) making love.

It need not be casual and meaningless - though you have to have a very strong friendship with fantastic communication, mature views of the situation, and total acceptance of your relationship as is before attempting any such thing or you run the risk of romantic entanglements.
SaintB
10-05-2008, 08:23
Never had friends with benefits.. have slept with some friends but it wasn't a repeat thing so I don't think it could be considered that.
Maineiacs
10-05-2008, 10:58
In such a relationship right now. When that part of our relationship ends, It'll be because we've moved on to a committed relationship with someone else, but our friendship will survive; we care too deeply about each other to end it entirely, barring some unforseen blow-up.
Maineiacs
10-05-2008, 10:59
Actually, from my point of view, friends with benefits doesnt necessarily mean casual sex. Sex with a friend (and by friend I mean someone who is actually a good friend, not just someone that hangs out in the same social circle) can be a rich experience sharing a close emotional bond, it just happens to be with someone to whom you're not romantically attached.

I do have casual sex with some friends where it is entirely just a physical romp for fun (no different than playing any other sport with them, just more enjoyable), basically just using the other as a sex toy, while I have a very close emotional connection with others, turning the benefits into some thing practically indistinguishable from (if you will pardon the sappy term) making love.

It need not be casual and meaningless - though you have to have a very strong friendship with fantastic communication, mature views of the situation, and total acceptance of your relationship as is before attempting any such thing or you run the risk of romantic entanglements.

Seconded.
Free Soviets
10-05-2008, 15:22
duuude you just admitted to listening to the offspring :P

it's ok, it was the mid-90s. we all listened to the offspring then.
Dragons Bay
10-05-2008, 16:05
I personally think it's a disgusting corruption of what friendship, romance, sex, love, personal responsibility, and healthy social life stand for.
Dyakovo
10-05-2008, 16:08
I personally think it's a disgusting corruption of what friendship, romance, sex, love, personal responsibility, and healthy social life stand for.

Why?
Dragons Bay
10-05-2008, 16:25
Why?

Sex is the most physical and most intimate form of interpersonal association. I would not be able to share this with a friend. It's the wrong category. Friends are for mutual emotional and psychological support, not for self or mutual sexual gratification.

It also promotes the view that sex can be simply casual, devoid of responsibility. I hold sex in a very, very high regard, not to be traded away easily at the whim of lust and instant enjoyment.

Anyway, I could go on forever. It's just that my worldview stands strongly against such corruption.
Ad Nihilo
10-05-2008, 16:25
I personally think it's a disgusting corruption of what friendship, romance, sex, love, personal responsibility, and healthy social life stand for.

I think relationships and marriage are a corruption of what friendship, romance, sex, love, personal responsibility and healthy social life stand for. But maybe that's just me.
Dyakovo
10-05-2008, 16:32
Sex is the most physical and most intimate form of interpersonal association. I would not be able to share this with a friend. It's the wrong category. Friends are for mutual emotional and psychological support, not for self or mutual sexual gratification.

It also promotes the view that sex can be simply casual, devoid of responsibility. I hold sex in a very, very high regard, not to be traded away easily at the whim of lust and instant enjoyment.

Anyway, I could go on forever. It's just that my worldview stands strongly against such corruption.

OK, I disagree, but I see where you're coming from.
Dragons Bay
10-05-2008, 16:34
Haha. Don't worry. What I said is all personal opinion.
Steel Butterfly
10-05-2008, 16:38
Sex is the most physical and most intimate form of interpersonal association. I would not be able to share this with a friend. It's the wrong category. Friends are for mutual emotional and psychological support, not for self or mutual sexual gratification.

It also promotes the view that sex can be simply casual, devoid of responsibility. I hold sex in a very, very high regard, not to be traded away easily at the whim of lust and instant enjoyment.

Anyway, I could go on forever. It's just that my worldview stands strongly against such corruption.

Repressed much?

I for one have had friends with benefits. I have had attractive friends who have been attracted to me, and we both agreed "why not?" You hold sex in such high regard; I find this laughable. The reason my friend and I agreed to just be friends with benefits, both times it happened, is because we realized that for whatever reason (one conflicting schedules, one different places in life) we could not have a relationship. It wouldn't be fair. I hold relationships in much higher regard than sex, and was not about to enter a shitty one to get sex, nor deprive myself of sex just because I was not in a relationship.

Sex can both be casual and full of responsibility. I wear protection. You say friends are for support, right? Why not sexual? You're both gaining something out of it. Why deprive yourself of sex just for an unrealistic morality?
Soheran
10-05-2008, 16:50
Sex is the most physical and most intimate form of interpersonal association. I would not be able to share this with a friend. It's the wrong category.

I don't see how either "physical" or "intimate" poses a problem for friendship, which can be a very intimate thing.

Friends are for mutual emotional and psychological support,

I don't know if friends are "for" anything specific. Certainly friendship often involves mutual emotional and psychological support, but that's not its purpose exactly--it's just an expression of its essence, which is mutual affection.

not for self or mutual sexual gratification.

But why not? Yes, a purely selfish, self-gratifying kind of sex that reduces the other person to (merely) an object is probably incompatible with friendship... but that's not a necessary feature. If the acts are undertaken on a joint, equal basis, founded on mutual enjoyment, where's the problem? (Even without mutual sexual enjoyment, accepting sex as a willingly-given favor from another is hardly wrong--part of friendship is receiving as well as giving.)

Friendship has that noble feature of merging selfishness and selflessness: because you're fond of the other person, you can find happiness in his or her happiness. In this sense, sex between friends rises to a level casual, anonymous sex cannot imitate.

It also promotes the view that sex can be simply casual, devoid of responsibility.

What's necessarily irresponsible about sex between friends? It should certainly be done responsibly--safely, and with utmost respect for the freedom and happiness of the participants--but that does not make it itself bad.

I hold sex in a very, very high regard, not to be traded away easily at the whim of lust and instant enjoyment.

Your language is interesting. "Traded away"? Do you have only a limited supply, such that you must charge a high price?

Anyway, I could go on forever. It's just that my worldview stands strongly against such corruption.

Everyone's worldview stands against corruption. The question is, is it corruption?
Free Soviets
10-05-2008, 17:09
Your language is interesting. "Traded away"? Do you have only a limited supply, such that you must charge a high price?

well, they could be operating along the same lines as de beers, intentionally drastically limiting supply. though, like de beers, they are now reduced to claiming that their supply is in some inscrutable way totally more awesome, because their competition has figured out that supply isn't actually that limited after all.
Johnny B Goode
10-05-2008, 19:55
Perhaps you're not entirely clear what friends with benefits means...
the "benefits" means they are having sex.

unless by shagging you meant installing carpet? ;)

They're both 17, and they were making out all over the place. I'd say that counts, no?
Rasselas
10-05-2008, 20:57
I've never done friends with benefits, probably because since I was 15/16 I've spent most of my time in relationships. I don't know if I would. Maybe if I had a friend who was really hot...:p
Damaske
10-05-2008, 21:38
They're both 17, and they were making out all over the place. I'd say that counts, no?

No.
Johnny B Goode
10-05-2008, 21:42
No.

Without a condom at that age, it's the closest ya get.
Damaske
10-05-2008, 21:54
Without a condom at that age, it's the closest ya get.

Close, but no cigar.
Laerod
10-05-2008, 21:59
Close, but no cigar.If you mention cigars, it will all depend on what the definition of sex is. :p
Neesika
10-05-2008, 23:35
I have a long history of friends with benefits, many of whom I'm still good friends with. It's never been awkward, but then again, I tend to choose good friends :p
Nanatsu no Tsuki
11-05-2008, 02:27
I hereby, officially declare, that I´m looking for a friend with benefits. Anyone interested?:p






J/K!
Cabra West
11-05-2008, 05:54
Sex is the most physical and most intimate form of interpersonal association. I would not be able to share this with a friend. It's the wrong category. Friends are for mutual emotional and psychological support, not for self or mutual sexual gratification.

It also promotes the view that sex can be simply casual, devoid of responsibility. I hold sex in a very, very high regard, not to be traded away easily at the whim of lust and instant enjoyment.

Anyway, I could go on forever. It's just that my worldview stands strongly against such corruption.

See, most people don't hold it to such a high regard. For me, a relationship is about much, much more than sex, there are other things that are by far more important and more intimate, both emotionally and physically.
But if you choose to place sex onto such a holy pedestal, that's you own choice of course. Although one does have to wonder why out of all the things that make up a relationship, you would pick sex as the one that you'd want to be exclusive about.
Nobel Hobos
11-05-2008, 08:58
I personally think it's a disgusting corruption of what friendship, romance, sex, love, personal responsibility, and healthy social life stand for.

It seems rather to be blurring the line between those things. Why shouldn't romance, sex and love be intermingled with personal responsibility and a healthy social life?

Sex, and friendship. You surely respect both? How is one harmed by mixture with the other?

Sex is the most physical and most intimate form of interpersonal association. I would not be able to share this with a friend. It's the wrong category. Friends are for mutual emotional and psychological support, not for self or mutual sexual gratification.


"the most physical and most intimate form of interpersonal association" sounds like a good thing.
"mutual emotional and psychological support" also sounds like a good thing.
"self or mutual sexual gratification" sounds less good, and certainly a reduced definition of "having sex."

Problem is, 1 and 3 refer to the same thing. A sexual relationship.

It also promotes the view that sex can be simply casual, devoid of responsibility.

Nonsense. Surely one feels more responsible, not less, towards a friend, than towards a non-friend?

That is, given a sexual relationship between two people, surely it is better that they ALSO be friends?

I hold sex in a very, very high regard, not to be traded away easily at the whim of lust and instant enjoyment.

You hold sex in very low regard, if you would ignore its origin (Lust, or Libido) and its manifestation (enjoyment.)

More likely, you have formed such an unrealistic idea of what sex is "meant" to be, that you won't have to worry much about what it's "really like."

Nudge nudge. Wink wink. Say n' more! Eh?
Geoactive
12-05-2008, 01:18
I've done the friends with benefits thing, I still do when the moment takes my fancy... but it depends on whether it's the ruination of a friendship or jus a bit of fun!
Entropic Creation
12-05-2008, 04:27
If you mention cigars, it will all depend on what the definition of sex is. :p
That depends on your definition of 'is'
Bann-ed
12-05-2008, 05:20
Not as good as the illegal method: 'All of the Benefits with none of the Friend.'

Maybe?
Cabra West
12-05-2008, 13:50
You hold sex in very low regard, if you would ignore its origin (Lust, or Libido) and its manifestation (enjoyment.)

More likely, you have formed such an unrealistic idea of what sex is "meant" to be, that you won't have to worry much about what it's "really like."

Nudge nudge. Wink wink. Say n' more! Eh?

My thoughts exactly... can't be healthy.
Lunatic Goofballs
12-05-2008, 13:56
I ask you: If a friend isn't willing to give another friend an orgasm when he or she needs it most, is he or she really your friend?
Ad Nihilo
12-05-2008, 13:57
I ask you: If a friend isn't willing to give another friend an orgasm when he or she needs it most, is he or she really your friend?

I ask you, how many friends you find sufficiently attractive do you have?
Cabra West
12-05-2008, 13:58
I ask you: If a friend isn't willing to give another friend an orgasm when he or she needs it most, is he or she really your friend?

It's the least they can do *nods*
Lunatic Goofballs
12-05-2008, 13:59
I ask you, how many friends you find sufficiently attractive do you have?

I think you greatly overestimate my standards. :p
Mad hatters in jeans
12-05-2008, 14:04
I ask you: If a friend isn't willing to give another friend an orgasm when he or she needs it most, is he or she really your friend?

:eek:
I never thought about it like that before.

By that reasoning i probably don't have any friends, i think i need more alcohol, it lessens the pain.
Bottle
12-05-2008, 14:04
Sex is the most physical and most intimate form of interpersonal association.

Not really. Sex is only as intimate as the participants decide it will be.


I would not be able to share this with a friend. It's the wrong category. Friends are for mutual emotional and psychological support, not for self or mutual sexual gratification.

That's your choice, of course, but really doesn't answer the question you were asked.


It also promotes the view that sex can be simply casual, devoid of responsibility.

It can. Whether or not you think it SHOULD be any of those things, it can be. So what's the problem with "promoting" reality?


I hold sex in a very, very high regard, not to be traded away easily at the whim of lust and instant enjoyment.

Again, fine for you, but irrelevant. The fact that you esteem sex in this way doesn't mean everyone does (or should).


Anyway, I could go on forever. It's just that my worldview stands strongly against such corruption.
As somebody already pointed out, pretty much EVERYBODY stands against "corruption," it's just that we don't all agree on what "corruption" is.

Personally, I think it's lame to equate sex with love, to pretend that sex always entails intimacy, or to esteem sexual intercourse as some kind of magical interaction unlike any other human activity. I think sex is complex and often confusing, and nobody is helped by tossing a bunch of misconceptions and flawed assumptions into the mix.
Lunatic Goofballs
12-05-2008, 14:05
:eek:
I never thought about it like that before.

By that reasoning i probably don't have any friends, i think i need more alcohol, it lessens the pain.

Give it to your friends. It'll make you better friends. :)
Mad hatters in jeans
12-05-2008, 14:12
Give it to your friends. It'll make you better friends. :)

Let's hope so.
It's a shame i can't give out alcohol through the internet, it would save so much effort.
Liuzzo
12-05-2008, 15:44
Good call all around. Providing there are no romance moments involved, this can be a hell of a lot of fun. I've had a few of these from high school on. All the passion of sex (sometimes more) and none of the nagging. I do not subscribe to the Puritanical view of sex that some people have. Sex is a necessary part of life and leads to a happier, more regulated individual. Sex can be more emotional with someone you love, but can be more fun with someone you are just fond of. Now if you can get a friend with benefits who also likes to invite their friends along (sorry, no two guys for me for the logical reason that I am straight) then you are in a doublemint moment.
Entropic Creation
12-05-2008, 16:16
Something occurred to me the other day...
people who put sex on a pedestal (not have sex on a pedestal) tend to people who have never had it - the 'no sex before marriage' types. That or they are so desperate to justify their choice that they rabidly defend the view even if they have had a fumbling experience (lets be honest, virgins having sex is a laughable awkward night of fumbling and serves to highlight the difference between theory and practice).

While I do fully recognize the difference between sex and 'making love', you can have one without 'cheapening' the other - enjoying physical intimacy with someone you have a strong emotional bond is no less meaningful, no less wonderful, if you have had a lot of fun romps in the hay.
Neo Bretonnia
12-05-2008, 16:16
I had a friend with benefits once.

Problem was that, asI found out later, she was an advance scout from an interstellar Empire whose capital city was located on a world orbiting Tau Ceti.

It was great at first, as apparently folks from her planet have a great deal more stamina and *ahem* muscular control than people from Earth.

And when she told me where she was REALLY from (Not Cleveland, go figure.) she also explained to me that she was bound by oath to preserve her virginity during her mi ltary service. Of course, that went right out the window when we started (How could she have resisted me?).

Well apparently if you're from a world orbiting Tau Ceti and you break an oath, your life becomes forfeit. So we kept going, in secret, until she got a call from the mothership which happened to be passing through our star system at the time. She answered her communicator and hit the wrong button, accidentally swithcing it to 'video' not 'audio only' mode, so whoever was on the ot her end got a great look at what it looks like when a human man is bottomed out in a female from Tau Ceti.

Well needless to say her breaking her oath was out in the open, so the only option was for us to duel to the death, which would essentially restore her honor if she defeated me. This didn't sound good to me since that meant either I was dead or a good friend was dead. I thought about using the ol'Star Trek solution like when Kirk and Spock had to fight to the death but she'd seen that episode and was wise to it.

So the duel began, and she selected a long, nasty looking knife and all I had on me was my Ken Onion from Kershaw which is a great knife but not very good in a fight against someone with a blade 18" long. So the duel began and well, long story short she cut me to ribbons.

But then I woke up in a big tank of fluid. Apparently the Tau Ceti people can repair dead bodies, although it's not clear how long you can be dead and still be revived, but they woke me up and let me out and it was weird because I was buck naked but despite my self-consciousness a good time was had by all at the after duel party. I even got to steer the spaceship a little, although since I still didn't have any clothes on my legs kepts sticking to the seat.

Ah, good times.
Ad Nihilo
12-05-2008, 17:25
I think you greatly overestimate my standards. :p

I stand corrected :p
Dragons Bay
12-05-2008, 17:39
Again, fine for you, but irrelevant. The fact that you esteem sex in this way doesn't mean everyone does (or should).

So the views of people who agree it's fine is relevant and the the views of people who do not agree is irrelevant.

I don't know why when a person expresses a morally conservative viewpoint others are quick to jump to say that "yeah, that's fine for you. It's not for me, so don't stuff your morals down my throat." On the other hand, when a person expresses a morally liberal viewpoint it is readily accepted as okay, and the way it is promoted equates to stretching your arm into somebody else and ripping the morals away (as opposed to ramming morals down somebody's throat.

All I did was express a personal viewpoint. What are you so worked up about? :gundge:
Bottle
12-05-2008, 18:01
So the views of people who agree it's fine is relevant and the the views of people who do not agree is irrelevant.

Nope. Rather, your sweeping generalizations about how all sex must fit your personal ideal of sex are irrelevant. Sex doesn't fit your ideals, whether you like that or not, so what's the point in deluding yourself?


I don't know why when a person expresses a morally conservative viewpoint others are quick to jump to say that "yeah, that's fine for you. It's not for me, so don't stuff your morals down my throat."

Are you suggesting that reaction is somehow inappropriate? Seems perfectly reasonable to me.


On the other hand, when a person expresses a morally liberal viewpoint it is readily accepted as okay, and the way it is promoted equates to stretching your arm into somebody else and ripping the morals away (as opposed to ramming morals down somebody's throat.

Boo hoo?

I'm an atheist non-hetero feminist woman. If you really want to claim that you face more persecution because of your sexual values than I face because of mine, you're welcome to try. Seriously, please, I could use a good chuckle.


All I did was express a personal viewpoint. What are you so worked up about? :gundge:
Perhaps you have me confused with somebody else. I'm not worked up, I just think you're in error. It really doesn't bother me in the slightest that you are in error, I simply felt the desire to point it out. It's kind of like pointing out to somebody that their fly is open.
Sumamba Buwhan
12-05-2008, 18:39
Hey... wanna be my friend?;)

It's very nice to meet you. Take off your pants.

Sumamba Buwhan I think her plans are to use you as an emotional tampon. Run like hell!!

That's what friends are for. I'm very good at ignor... listening.
Dempublicents1
12-05-2008, 18:47
So the views of people who agree it's fine is relevant and the the views of people who do not agree is irrelevant.

I don't know why when a person expresses a morally conservative viewpoint others are quick to jump to say that "yeah, that's fine for you. It's not for me, so don't stuff your morals down my throat." On the other hand, when a person expresses a morally liberal viewpoint it is readily accepted as okay, and the way it is promoted equates to stretching your arm into somebody else and ripping the morals away (as opposed to ramming morals down somebody's throat.


It's possible to express a "morally conservative" viewpoint and still take the position that one's viewpoint is not universal. I've never had a problem on this forum when I express my own somewhat conservative viewpoints - specifically because I make it clear that I do not judge others by them.

I have no interest in a casual sexual relationship and such a relationship would conflict with my moral viewpoints. But I see no problem when those who have a different viewpoint engage in such relationships - so long as everyone involved is being honest.
Knights of Liberty
12-05-2008, 18:49
So the views of people who agree it's fine is relevant and the the views of people who do not agree is irrelevant.


Nope, all peoples views are relevent. However, the belief that your narrow view of sex is somehow correct and enlightened morally is not only irrelevent, but foolish.

I don't know why when a person expresses a morally conservative viewpoint others are quick to jump to say that "yeah, that's fine for you. It's not for me, so don't stuff your morals down my throat."

Because morally conservative viewpoints tend to deal in absolutes, the idea that their moral view is correct and therefore eveyone must follow it. So, peoples responses are an accurate reaction. I dont care if you want to only fuck people you love. Just dont expect me to do the same, deal?

On the other hand, when a person expresses a morally liberal viewpoint it is readily accepted as okay, and the way it is promoted equates to stretching your arm into somebody else and ripping the morals away (as opposed to ramming morals down somebody's throat.

What are you talking about? Morally liberal viewpoints tend to view things as relative more often then not. They tend to say "Hey, do what works for you." Thats why theyre accepted.

No one is ripping your morals away. We are just saying dont expect us to all agree with and follow your morals.


You need help getting down from that cross youve nailed yourself to?

All I did was express a personal viewpoint. What are you so worked up about? :gundge:


Ah, NSG. Where disagreeing with someone = foaming at the mouth and losing yourself in a blind rage.

You are free to express and follow your personal viewpoint. But thats just it. Its your personal viewpoint. If others dont agree or dont follow it, dont get upset. If I want to fuck everything with an ass, thats what I choose to do. If you dont like it, sod off.
Dempublicents1
12-05-2008, 18:56
Actually, from my point of view, friends with benefits doesnt necessarily mean casual sex. Sex with a friend (and by friend I mean someone who is actually a good friend, not just someone that hangs out in the same social circle) can be a rich experience sharing a close emotional bond, it just happens to be with someone to whom you're not romantically attached.

I do have casual sex with some friends where it is entirely just a physical romp for fun (no different than playing any other sport with them, just more enjoyable), basically just using the other as a sex toy, while I have a very close emotional connection with others, turning the benefits into some thing practically indistinguishable from (if you will pardon the sappy term) making love.

It need not be casual and meaningless - though you have to have a very strong friendship with fantastic communication, mature views of the situation, and total acceptance of your relationship as is before attempting any such thing or you run the risk of romantic entanglements.

When I say "casual sex", I mean "sex without a romantic relationship". Talking about "friends with benefits" already throws the idea of one night stands and the like out of the discussion (although that would also be "casual sex").

Meanwhile, I don't think that tying sexual relationships to romantic ones is necessarily a sign of immaturity. I've known people who have recognized that, because of their own emotional reactions to sex, a "friends with benefits" scenario doesn't work for them. They go into it with that mindset, but a sexual relationship seems to always result in romantic attachment for them. It isn't that they are immature or have immature attitudes towards sex. It's just that, for them, the two seem to be inseparable.
Dempublicents1
12-05-2008, 18:58
You are free to express and follow your personal viewpoint. But thats just it. Its your personal viewpoint. If others dont agree or dont follow it, dont get upset. If I want to fuck everything with an ass, thats what I choose to do. If you dont like it, sod off.

As long as the owners of all of those asses consent...

=)
Neo Bretonnia
12-05-2008, 19:01
You are free to express and follow your personal viewpoint. But thats just it. Its your personal viewpoint. If others dont agree or dont follow it, dont get upset. If I want to fuck everything with an ass, thats what I choose to do. If you dont like it, sod off.

:hides his ass:
Knights of Liberty
12-05-2008, 19:03
:hides his ass:

Bah. I should have said anything with a human female anatomy. That line is going to haunt me for the rest of this thread.


*thinks*


*leaves it so others may take shots at KOL because it is epic lolz*
Neo Bretonnia
12-05-2008, 19:08
Bah. I should have said anything with a human female anatomy. That line is going to haunt me for the rest of this thread.


*thinks*


*leaves it so others may take shots at KOL because it is epic lolz*

Dude with a post count like that you should have anticpated it ;)
Nili
12-05-2008, 19:18
Something like that would never be for me. Hell, I'm not even that intimate with my girlfriends, and now one of my female friends wants to have sex with me?... I'm not some piece of meat for my female friends to ogle at, I'm a person with semi-real feelings!

*covers himself in whipped cream and sobs in the corner*

But... yeah... I'd never do something like that. I mean, what makes a friendship different than a relationship if not the sex? I mean, wouldn't that just make all of my relationships one big orgy? Because if so, I might have to change my opinion on the topic, because that sounds pretty sweet! (Kidding... sorta)
Dragons Bay
12-05-2008, 20:27
I am completely gobsmacked! I never said that my view is universal! :eek: All I said was that I am opposed to said idea and expressed how I personally thought about the issue. So I don't agree with you and you don't agree with me. Big deal! I don't understand what the ferocious attitude is about!

I construct moral absolutes for my own enjoyment and ordering of my life. The fact that I do, and that I posted here sharing with you what they were, doesn't mean that I want you to share my moral absolutes. They're MINE! :gundge:
Lunatic Goofballs
12-05-2008, 20:34
I am completely gobsmacked! I never said that my view is universal! :eek: All I said was that I am opposed to said idea and expressed how I personally thought about the issue. So I don't agree with you and you don't agree with me. Big deal! I don't understand what the ferocious attitude is about!

I construct moral absolutes for my own enjoyment and ordering of my life. The fact that I do, and that I posted here sharing with you what they were, doesn't mean that I want you to share my moral absolutes. They're MINE! :gundge:

Calm down. Have some sex. :)
Dragons Bay
12-05-2008, 20:41
Calm down. Have some sex. :)

:p
Entropic Creation
12-05-2008, 20:52
When I say "casual sex", I mean "sex without a romantic relationship". Talking about "friends with benefits" already throws the idea of one night stands and the like out of the discussion (although that would also be "casual sex").

Meanwhile, I don't think that tying sexual relationships to romantic ones is necessarily a sign of immaturity. I've known people who have recognized that, because of their own emotional reactions to sex, a "friends with benefits" scenario doesn't work for them. They go into it with that mindset, but a sexual relationship seems to always result in romantic attachment for them. It isn't that they are immature or have immature attitudes towards sex. It's just that, for them, the two seem to be inseparable.
I apologize if you took my statements as meaning that you must have an immature view of sex if you do not have sex with friends - that was not my intention at all. I merely stated that maturity was necessary for friends with benefits to work well (though that pretty much applies to any relationship), while not intending to imply that the inverse was true.
Dempublicents1
12-05-2008, 21:04
I apologize if you took my statements as meaning that you must have an immature view of sex if you do not have sex with friends - that was not my intention at all. I merely stated that maturity was necessary for friends with benefits to work well (though that pretty much applies to any relationship), while not intending to imply that the inverse was true.

That wasn't necessarily directed at you. In truth, I think any healthy sexual relationship requires maturity.

But there does seem to be the sense on this thread coming from some people that someone for whom sexual and romantic relationships are inseparable must either be immature or repressed. I don't think that's necessarily true (and neither do you, apparently). =)
Knights of Liberty
12-05-2008, 21:06
I am completely gobsmacked! I never said that my view is universal! :eek: All I said was that I am opposed to said idea and expressed how I personally thought about the issue. So I don't agree with you and you don't agree with me. Big deal! I don't understand what the ferocious attitude is about!

I construct moral absolutes for my own enjoyment and ordering of my life. The fact that I do, and that I posted here sharing with you what they were, doesn't mean that I want you to share my moral absolutes. They're MINE! :gundge:

Then there is no problem.


I admit, I jumped into this convo mid-discussion. Ive had finals and have been studying all last week and all weekend, and so have not looked at NSG for some time. I only read the conversation between you and Bottle on the last page.

So I apologize for misunderstanding and not reading the whole thead;)
Dragons Bay
12-05-2008, 21:14
Ive had finals and have been studying all last week and all weekend
So do I, but I'm hardly studying. :p
Neo Bretonnia
12-05-2008, 21:40
Then there is no problem.


I admit, I jumped into this convo mid-discussion. Ive had finals and have been studying all last week and all weekend, and so have not looked at NSG for some time. I only read the conversation between you and Bottle on the last page.

So I apologize for misunderstanding and not reading the whole thead;)

Excuses are like assholes, buddy. Everybody's got one and they all stink.

:D

:runs:
Knights of Liberty
12-05-2008, 21:46
Excuses are like assholes, buddy. Everybody's got one and they all stink.

:D

:runs:

Well, I was also banned for two days because someone said pornstars deserve to be raped and killed by a serial killer and I told him I hope he dies (like I was serious anyway...). Apperantly wishing rape and death on pornstars is a-ok, but random generalites who say jerk off things is a no-no.


Meh. So there is another excuse too:p
Neo Bretonnia
12-05-2008, 21:50
Well, I was also banned for two days because someone said pornstars deserve to be raped and killed by a serial killer and I told him I hope he dies (like I was serious anyway...). Apperantly wishing rape and death on pornstars is a-ok, but random generalites who say jerk off things is a no-no.


Meh. So there is another excuse too:p

:buys you a beer:
Knights of Liberty
12-05-2008, 21:52
:buys you a beer:

Ooooh what kind?
Neo Bretonnia
12-05-2008, 21:57
Ooooh what kind?

I dunno I'm a Mormon WTF do I know about beer?

You pick.
Knights of Liberty
12-05-2008, 22:03
I dunno I'm a Mormon WTF do I know about beer?

lol oh yeah, I forgot about that little detail. Geez, you guys really did get screwed, you are expected to have multiple wives (I know not anymore but bare with me) and yet, you cant even drink to drown out the 5 voices nagging at once!

You pick.

Meh, doesnt matter, I appreciate the gesture:D Harp's is always good.
Smunkeeville
12-05-2008, 22:10
I dunno I'm a Mormon WTF do I know about beer?

You pick.
Beer, is made from barley, it tastes like piss, and you're better off without it.

That's all you need to know. :p
Knights of Liberty
12-05-2008, 22:17
Beer, is made from barley, it tastes like sex, unless its American beer, in which case you're better off without it.

That's all you need to know. :p

Fixed.;)

ps- Hard liquour is where its at.
Smunkeeville
12-05-2008, 22:19
Fixed.;)

ps- Hard liquour is where its at.

It's possible. I only ever tasted American beer, cheap beer at that. Rum is win though.
Knights of Liberty
12-05-2008, 22:20
It's possible. I only ever tasted American beer, cheap beer at that. Rum is win though.

This is very true.
Jello Biafra
13-05-2008, 02:52
Bah. I should have said anything with a human female anatomy. That line is going to haunt me for the rest of this thread.


*thinks*


*leaves it so others may take shots at KOL because it is epic lolz*Someone should sig it, so it can live on forever.
IL Ruffino
13-05-2008, 03:02
Casual sex is the leading cause of AIDS and abortions. And any slut that takes part in casual sex is a murderer and should be sent to jail. What the heck is wrong with girls these days?
Knights of Liberty
13-05-2008, 03:04
Casual sex is the leading cause of AIDS and abortions. And any slut that takes part in casual sex is a murderer and should be sent to jail. What the heck is wrong with girls these days?

Moralist nannies and conservatives are the leading cause of stupid in the world.


Just thought Id share.
Bottle
13-05-2008, 12:41
Casual sex is the leading cause of AIDS and abortions. And any slut that takes part in casual sex is a murderer and should be sent to jail. What the heck is wrong with girls these days?
Of course, casual LESBIAN sex is less likely to result in transmission of HIV than hetero sex of any kind, and certainly isn't going to lead anybody to become pregnant.

So, to answer your question, heterosexuality is what is wrong with girls today.
Dragons Bay
13-05-2008, 12:47
Of course, casual LESBIAN sex is less likely to result in transmission of HIV than hetero sex of any kind, and certainly isn't going to lead anybody to become pregnant.

So, to answer your question, heterosexuality is what is wrong with girls today.

For simplicity's sake:

Casual hetero sex will result in a chance of transmission of HIV

Casual lesbian sex willl result in a lesser chance of transmission of HIV.

But monogamous sex, hetero or lesbian, will result in an even less chance of transmission of HIV.

So the problem isn't homo or hetero. The problem is casual sex.
Bottle
13-05-2008, 12:53
For simplicity's sake:

Casual hetero sex will result in a chance of transmission of HIV

Casual lesbian sex willl result in a lesser chance of transmission of HIV.

But monogamous sex, hetero or lesbian, will result in an even less chance of transmission of HIV.

So the problem isn't homo or hetero. The problem is casual sex.
Actually, no. World-wide, the fastest growing population of new HIV infectees is monogamous married women. They are infected by their husbands, which I don't think can reasonably said to be "casual sex" in this context.
Dragons Bay
13-05-2008, 13:00
Actually, no. World-wide, the fastest growing population of new HIV infectees is monogamous married women. They are infected by their husbands, which I don't think can reasonably said to be "casual sex" in this context.

Ah. That's true. Monogamity must describe the relationship, not the person (i.e. both partners should be monogamous).
Cabra West
13-05-2008, 13:19
For simplicity's sake:

Casual hetero sex will result in a chance of transmission of HIV

Casual lesbian sex willl result in a lesser chance of transmission of HIV.

But monogamous sex, hetero or lesbian, will result in an even less chance of transmission of HIV.

So the problem isn't homo or hetero. The problem is casual sex.

How do you work that one out? :confused:
Cabra West
13-05-2008, 13:20
Ah. That's true. Monogamity must describe the relationship, not the person (i.e. both partners should be monogamous).

And refuse all bllod-transfusions, right? :rolleyes:
Dragons Bay
13-05-2008, 13:30
And refuse all bllod-transfusions, right? :rolleyes:

Yes. Of course. Refuse all blood transfusions.

No seriously. When did we start talking about blood transfusions?
Dragons Bay
13-05-2008, 13:31
How do you work that one out? :confused:

Logic. All things being equal, if two people only have sex with each other the risk of STD infection is minimal. The more people they add to this, the higher the risk of STD infection for either (and hence both) of them.

If you think there's a flaw please point it out.
Cabra West
13-05-2008, 13:32
Yes. Of course. Refuse all blood transfusions.

No seriously. When did we start talking about blood transfusions?

When you started talking about risks of getting infected with HIV.
The one thing that protects you from infection where sex is concerned is not monogamy but safe sex, as your partner can get the infection in a good few different ways.
Dragons Bay
13-05-2008, 13:35
When you started talking about risks of getting infected with HIV.
The one thing that protects you from infection where sex is concerned is not monogamy but safe sex, as your partner can get the infection in a good few different ways.

Well, I thought we were talking about the risks of getting HIV between the variables of sexual orientation and casual /monogamous sex. Blood transfusion didn't come into it until you introduced it.
Cabra West
13-05-2008, 13:37
Logic. All things being equal, if two people only have sex with each other the risk of STD infection is minimal. The more people they add to this, the higher the risk of STD infection for either (and hence both) of them.

If you think there's a flaw please point it out.

I see you changed your argument... yes, there will be a risk of STDs whenever sex is involved.
However, HIV (which was the original argument) is not exclusively transmitted through sex, it has a few different ways into the human body. So being monogamous while not practicing safe sex doesn't do much to reduce the risks of infection.

And the good thing is, safe sex is a good protection from almost all STDs, not just HIV.
Cabra West
13-05-2008, 13:39
Well, I thought we were talking about the risks of getting HIV between the variables of sexual orientation and casual /monogamous sex. Blood transfusion didn't come into it until you introduced it.

It doesn't? And here I was thinking that the risk of getting infected by a monogamous partner who in turn was infected via blood transfusion would indeed come into it...
Dragons Bay
13-05-2008, 13:45
I see you changed your argument... yes, there will be a risk of STDs whenever sex is involved.
However, HIV (which was the original argument) is not exclusively transmitted through sex, it has a few different ways into the human body. So being monogamous while not practicing safe sex doesn't do much to reduce the risks of infection.

And the good thing is, safe sex is a good protection from almost all STDs, not just HIV.

Oh, I see. I used HIV and STD interchangeably. Sorry for that. Let's just stick back to HIV.
Dragons Bay
13-05-2008, 13:47
It doesn't? And here I was thinking that the risk of getting infected by a monogamous partner who in turn was infected via blood transfusion would indeed come into it...

Of course it does, but for the sake of the discussion the variables were limited to only sexual orientation and promiscuity in response to Bottle's post. I'm not saying that because of this these two variables are the only variables that matter.
Cabra West
13-05-2008, 13:53
Of course it does, but for the sake of the discussion the variables were limited to only sexual orientation and promiscuity in response to Bottle's post. I'm not saying that because of this these two variables are the only variables that matter.

I understood the argument to be that having monogamous sex minimises the risk of getting infected with HIV.
I hold that it's not a significant decrease in the risk if you compare monogamous sex with non-monogamous safe sex, as HIV can infect either partner despite being monogamous, and can then be passed on to the other.
Dragons Bay
13-05-2008, 13:59
I understood the argument to be that having monogamous sex minimises the risk of getting infected with HIV.
I hold that it's not a significant decrease in the risk if you compare monogamous sex with non-monogamous safe sex, as HIV can infect either partner despite being monogamous, and can then be passed on to the other.

Okay. Cool. I concur. :)
Bottle
13-05-2008, 16:19
Seriously, folks need to let go of this idea that monogamy is protection against STDs. It's not, because YOUR choice to be monogamous doesn't guarantee your partner's choice to be monogamous, and you also have to deal with the possibility that you or your partner might 1) have already contracted an STD or 2) might contract an STD through a non-sexual vector.

Practicing safe sex is the best way to ensure you don't get an STD, regardless of whether or not you're monogamous. Personally, I think slutting around while practicing safe sex is a helluva lot safer than going bare-back with a monogamous partner. (And yes, I practice what I preach, my partner of 6 years and I still use condoms.)
Entropic Creation
13-05-2008, 16:56
I dunno I'm a Mormon WTF do I know about beer?

You pick.
There is a reason why there is a standard bit of advice in Utah:
Never go fishing with just one Morman - you need a second to keep the first from drinking all your beer.
Laerod
13-05-2008, 17:07
There is a reason why there is a standard bit of advice in Utah:
Never go fishing with just one Morman - you need a second to keep the first from drinking all your beer.Someone I worked with in summer camp claimed "LDS week" was actually "LSD week" because all the mormon kids ransacked the sugar and coffee stores and went hyper as a result.
Dragons Bay
13-05-2008, 18:05
Seriously, folks need to let go of this idea that monogamy is protection against STDs. It's not, because YOUR choice to be monogamous doesn't guarantee your partner's choice to be monogamous, and you also have to deal with the possibility that you or your partner might 1) have already contracted an STD or 2) might contract an STD through a non-sexual vector.

Practicing safe sex is the best way to ensure you don't get an STD, regardless of whether or not you're monogamous. Personally, I think slutting around while practicing safe sex is a helluva lot safer than going bare-back with a monogamous partner. (And yes, I practice what I preach, my partner of 6 years and I still use condoms.)

Well in my little fantasy world monogamy has a lot more to it than just "having sex with one partner at any given period of time", which leads me to my conclusion (that applies only to myself, less anyone accuse me of exporting my morals).

To me, and me alone, only me, and solely me, monogamy refers to having one sex partner for life, whereas everything else would be promiscuous to me, me alone, only me, and solely me.
Smunkeeville
13-05-2008, 18:19
Actually, no. World-wide, the fastest growing population of new HIV infectees is monogamous married women. They are infected by their husbands, which I don't think can reasonably said to be "casual sex" in this context.
Do you have a link to this? I really need it, badly.
Neo Art
13-05-2008, 18:43
To me, and me alone, only me, and solely me, monogamy refers to having one sex partner for life, whereas everything else would be promiscuous to me, me alone, only me, and solely me.

I wonder what in the world happens if your partner dies before you do.
Sumamba Buwhan
13-05-2008, 18:50
Do you have a link to this? I really need it, badly.

Trying to build a case with the hubby for swinging? :p
Jello Biafra
13-05-2008, 19:05
Personally, I think slutting around while practicing safe sex is a helluva lot safer than going bare-back with a monogamous partner. (And yes, I practice what I preach, my partner of 6 years and I still use condoms.)Wow. I suppose if it's for birth control, that makes sense.
Smunkeeville
13-05-2008, 20:57
Trying to build a case with the hubby for swinging? :p

There is no case that needs to be built, I'm a free agent babe, he just has to agree they are......well, not yucky. I'm uninterested at this point though, my need of the link has to do with an idiot who was telling me that AIDS is a "gay mans curse" and how 99.99% of new infections are gay men.
Neo Art
13-05-2008, 20:58
There is no case that needs to be built, I'm a free agent babe

....

So, how YOU doin?
Smunkeeville
13-05-2008, 21:00
....

So, how YOU doin?

Uninterested, I'm sure.
Dyakovo
13-05-2008, 21:26
Someone should sig it, so it can live on forever.

:D Done :D