NationStates Jolt Archive

http://www.local6.com/news/16169506/detail.html

Apparently an amateur, I mean very amateur, performed a half-assed magic trick in front of a middle school class in Florida and has been fired after being accused of wizardry. Good thing he didn't try to pull a quarter out from behind a kid's ear, he likely would have been shot and the shooter would get away with it for defending himself against evil wizards.

:D That just made my day.

Floridans are weird people..

This is a joke, it cant be real.... please tell me its a joke.

Although now that I think of it, I know of kids being accused of practicing witchcraft at school because they were playing Dungeons and Dragons.:headbang:

dang teachers practicing black magic. better get my gun to run him away form my kids.

Wow, just wow. There are no words I can use to describe this or how it makes me think and feel about some places in America.

BURN TEH EBIL WITCHES! (Must... Resist... Monty Python...)

She turned me into a newt! *Looks down at self* I got better!

It's sad that someone got FIRED for the 30-second trick! I always thought that our school supervisors were supposed to be smarter then that... Absolutly moronic. It embaresses all of the US. :(:mad:

...

...

Nope, not surprised.

"She turned me into a newt!" "A newt?" "I got better..."

EDIT: dangit. beaten to the punch.

lol wut

We should see if he ways as much as a duck. Thatll prove it for sure.

Well if my faith for humanity hasn't already been in the negative numbers, this would put it there.

:eek:I was just looking at other stories on that site and there's a teacher in Florida that's been arrested THREE times this year for having sex with her students, why are they more worried about wizards than paedophiles?

:eek:I was just looking at other stories on that site and there's a teacher in Florida that's been arrested THREE times this year for having sex with her students, why are they more worried about wizards than paedophiles?

Whats so wrong with paedophiles? :S

j/k

I have no found the words to describe it:
Sad.

I wonder when the Dark Ages will ACTUALLY end.

Florida is retarded. Why is this surprising?

Wow .. Just wow...

I just found anouther story

'A 22 year old man is accused of balling up pieces of bread and trying to sell them as crack cocaine to senior citizens in a Florida nursing home'

http://http://209.85.48.8/html/emoticons/blink.gif

So I guess there's a reason dicks and assholes like to live in a state that has a phallic shape to it.

So I guess there's a reason dicks and assholes like to live in a state that has a phallic shape to it.

I resent that.

I resent that.

Too bad. Shouldn't you be off fighting Anonymous?

Too bad. Shouldn't you be off fighting Anonymous?

The guys here advised me to take some vacation time from work, so I'm relaxing right now.

Florida: the new Kansas

Cerean;13673958']Florida: the new Kansas

I resent that too.

There are smart people in Florida, but I've never seen a smart person from Kansas.

*is quickly tackled by the Chiefs offensive line*

This does not invalid-ow-ate my -ow- point!

Before anyone else tries to argue the point: He also did several other things that could have legitimately led to his firing (letting students use computers when told not to by other teachers, not following the lesson plan, etc.).

That being said the accusation of "wizardry" was absurd and I have no clue why the principal even brought it up, unless he was asking to be personally ridiculed and have the school sued.

Only thing that would of been more funny is if his name had been Harry Potter.

First they came for the Wizards, but I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Wizard...

Aw, Florida. Can't'cha go one month without something this stupid in the news? Just once?

Talk about NOT reading...

Teacher Jim Piculas does a magic trick where a toothpick disappears and then reappears.

Piculas recently did the 30-second trick in front of a classroom at Rushe Middle School in Land 'O Lakes.

Piculas said he then got a call from the supervisor of teachers, saying he'd been accused of wizardry.

"I get a call the middle of the day from head of supervisor of substitute teachers. He says, 'Jim, we have a huge issue, you can't take any more assignments you need to come in right away,'" he said.

Piculas said he did not know f any other accusations that would have led to the action.

The teacher said he is concerned that the incident may prevent him from
getting future jobs.
Notice... it's not wizardry that got him fired. but it's WHERE and HOW he made the toothpick dissapear.

notice how the Article doesn't say where he made that toothpick go... Did he have a... ahem... volunteer from the audience? while the trick was 30 seconds, how long was that toothpick gone?

too many unanswered questions... too many...

First they came for the Wizards, but I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Wizard...

I'm not a Wizard either. According to the SRB, I'm a Sorceror! :p

http://www.local6.com/news/16169506/detail.html

Apparently an amateur, I mean very amateur, performed a half-assed magic trick in front of a middle school class in Florida and has been fired after being accused of wizardry. Good thing he didn't try to pull a quarter out from behind a kid's ear, he likely would have been shot and the shooter would get away with it for defending himself against evil wizards.

Can you say "Unlawful dismissal"? Well done! ;)

EDIT: Still, I like the fact that two of the sponsored links on that site lead to a magician and a magic shop. ;)

First they came for the Wizards, but I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Wizard...

Then they came for the druids...

...And all the wizards were wazards.

Click Stand;13674660']Then they came for the druids...

But the necromancers weren't going to wait around and had their long dead great grandmothers in law beat them into a pulp.

Its those kinds of people that make me sad to be part of the South...

Fucking Bible Belt...:headbang:

The real sad thing is, that guy's Career is fucked thanx to some idiot who wants to burn 'witches'...

Its those kinds of people that make me sad to be part of the South...

Fucking Bible Belt...:headbang:

The real sad thing is, that guy's Career is fucked thanx to some idiot who wants to burn 'witches'...

I dunno. He can always tell the story behind that part of his resume...

I don't think most sane people will say, "Wizardry? Shit, we can't hire you. No, it's the lawsuits these days. Nothing against Wizards, we just can't afford the liability..."

This is Florida. The same state that introduced us to 8 years of Bushevism, thought Terri Schiavo would actually wake up, and is $cientology's Disney World.

Does this really come as a surprise?

And the second the Harry Potter cast comes over for a visit you know they'll warm up the stakes and the dunk tanks.

I dunno. He can always tell the story behind that part of his resume...

I don't think most sane people will say, "Wizardry? Shit, we can't hire you. No, it's the lawsuits these days. Nothing against Wizards, we just can't afford the liability..."

True i guess...but itll still make it that much harder...

Actually doesnt surprise me though, we have so many religious nuts around here, its a daily occurrence of fucktardedness...

Like... Hogwarts material and all?!:eek:

Like... Hogwarts material and all?!:eek:

I always wondered if their was an American School of Witchcraft and Wizardry...

Surprising that its in Florida though, lol....Thats why they protect the Everglades :eek:

I always wondered if their was an American School of Witchcraft and Wizardry...

Surprising that its in Florida though, lol....Thats why they protect the Everglades :eek:

Wizards would explain George W. Bush winning on the last elections there in FL.:eek:

Wizards would explain George W. Bush winning on the last elections there in FL.:eek:

If that wizard is named "hanging, Chad" then you would be right on.

Wizards would explain George W. Bush winning on the last elections there in FL.:eek:

MY GOD IT ALL MAKES SENSE!!!

MY GOD IT ALL MAKES SENSE!!!

Yes. Scary, isn´t it?

Florida has a long history of wizardry, magic land and what not.

http://edition.cnn.com/TECH/science/9901/07/ancient.artifacts/index.html


http://www.fountainofyouthflorida.com/

http://www.coralcastle.com/home.asp

Yes. Scary, isn´t it?

Yep, just wait till the Jedi Academy in Australia gets wind of this...

*Geeks out to the thought of Wizards vs Jedi* lol

Yep, just wait till the Jedi Academy in Australia gets wind of this...

*Geeks out to the thought of Wizards vs Jedi* lol

OH NOES! TEH JEDIS VS TEH HARRY POTTERS!!!!:eek::eek:

Floridans are weird people..They had elected a Bush for governor, so what do you expect?

Sorry guys, g2g, I have a 'Defense Against the Arts' lesson, followed by 'Transfiguration'.

This is Florida. The same state that introduced us to 8 years of Bushevism, thought Terri Schiavo would actually wake up, and is $cientology's Disney World.

Does this really come as a surprise?

And the second the Harry Potter cast comes over for a visit you know they'll warm up the stakes and the dunk tanks.Americans have never burned witches. Hanging is the standard operating procedure.

'Defense Against the Arts'

I knew you were a philistine...

What makes them think they can imprison a wizard? He'll just conjure up the key to any cell they put him in.

Why the hell would a supervisor of teachers take such an accusation seriously? Why the hell would he pass it on to a teacher? How the hell can anyone take such an accusation seriously? It's like accusing your teacher of being a green-skinned alien.

These people are educating children?!? :eek:

what.

These people are educating children?!? :eek:

Fortunately not. They're just in charge of people who are educating children.


At least, I hope they're not teaching children.

Wow. As much as I was convinced that American society was moving backwards at an alarming rate, never did I think it was declining quite this fast.

I suggest everyone living in the states with an IQ in the triple digits cut your losses and flee north, before they start burning people for heresy.

Florida is retarded. Why is this surprising?

Coming from a Californian, I find this hilariously ironic.

GP

Fortunately not. They're just in charge of people who are educating children.


At least, I hope they're not teaching children.

I'm reminded of the pointy-haired boss from Dilbert. :p

Well I suppose waterboarding is really just an updated ducking stool...what next America sends trebuchets to teach Iran a lesson?

Well I suppose waterboarding is really just an updated ducking stool...what next America sends trebuchets to teach Iran a lesson?

I'm lost... but, I just have to say: trebuchets are cool!

There was a video about farmers throwing cars with a home-built trebuchet...

Coming from a Californian, I find this hilariously ironic.

GP
You have to leave now. You can come back when being accused of "wizardry" is part of the reason a teacher gets fired in California.

Hmmmm. I thought Florida was one of the sane states.

Obviously this underlines the need for clearly marked maps which not only indicate what parts of the US have their heads up their arses, but also how far up there those heads are...on some form of scale, preferably with examples. Its all very confussing to us foriegn folk.

I'm reminded of the pointy-haired boss from Dilbert. :p

That is exactly what I was tihnking. They've been promoted to management, where they can do no harm. At least, in theory.

Hmmmm. I thought Florida was one of the sane states.

Obviously this underlines the need for clearly marked maps which not only indicate what parts of the US have their heads up their arses, but also how far up there those heads are...on some form of scale, preferably with examples. Its all very confussing to us foriegn folk.

Look up the mason/dixon line (wikipedia is your friend). Everything below that line has some degree of head-up-the-arse syndrome.

Hahaha, and we're sooo proud we're in the 21 century, we're sooo proud we're "civilised" :D This made my day, brilliant!

This is no joke; I heard about it on the news the other day. I can't get over how ridiculous this kind of crap is.
Just break off into the ocean already, Florida!

Look up the mason/dixon line (wikipedia is your friend). Everything below that line has some degree of head-up-the-arse syndrome.

That would tie in with Nascar theory....

Hmmmm. I thought Florida was one of the sane states.
Florida is the biggest fuckwit state east of the Mississippi.

http://www.local6.com/news/16169506/detail.html

Apparently an amateur, I mean very amateur, performed a half-assed magic trick in front of a middle school class in Florida and has been fired after being accused of wizardry. Good thing he didn't try to pull a quarter out from behind a kid's ear, he likely would have been shot and the shooter would get away with it for defending himself against evil wizards.

Burn! Burn the witch!
Geez, will the US ever grow up about this...:rolleyes:

I hope Derren Brown has the sense not to go to Florida - they will think he is the antichrist.

I hope Derren Brown has the sense not to go to Florida - they will think he is the antichrist.

There won't be a trial, they'll just shoot him in the street.

There won't be a trial, they'll just shoot him in the street.

As he's recently "come out" I'd imagine he'd be lucky to get such a quick death.

As he's recently "come out" I'd imagine he'd be lucky to get such a quick death.

Oh dear, a gay wizard in the dreaded South USA.

I pity the poor sap who has to explain to these kids the world is not shaped like a quarter.

I pity the poor sap who has to explain to these kids the world not shape like a quarter.

WHAT?!

As a Floridian, living at one point adjacent to Pasco County, I can tell you safely, ad soundly, that this who situation is PATHETIC. :mad:

You know it's sad when the only wizard the state of Florida tolerates is an Imperial Wizard.

:D

You know it's sad when the only wizard the state of Florida tolerates is an Imperial Wizard.

:D

I lol'd.

http://linasblog.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/death-note-just-as-planned1.gif

It's times like this I'm glad I live in Florida...


If I get a run-in with the law, I'll claim I was put under a spell.

Burn! Burn the witch!
Geez, will the US ever grow up about this...:rolleyes:

Next thing you know, it will be penis snatchers.

Ok, first of all as a Southern Floridian, I have to say this is some dumb shit that I thought could only be Onion news.....but since it's not let's figure this out.

1. It happend in Land O' Lakes, Florida. I have nooooo idea where the fuck that even is, but it's quite likely that it's not in civilization and dragons roam free there.

2. Ok, just looked up where it is. Yup, dragons totally roam free there. No wonder there are wizards to accompany them....

http://www.thebestlinks.com/images/1/19/FLMap-doton-LandOLakes.PNG

3. South Florida is soooooo different from the rest of Florida, most of us down South consider "up there" to be like a totally different country. And in regards to that, here's another article I found about a city in South Florida wanting to divide the state in two....North and South Florida. With situations like this bullshit popping up, I'll say that I am tempted by it....

http://www.local6.com/news/16176775/detail.html

One city commission wants to divide Florida into two states: North Florida and South Florida.

The reason? The North Lauderdale City Commission resolution said it's not confident in state leaders when it comes to collecting and spending their own money.

The resolution states it would be "in the best interests of the citizens and residents" to divide the state.

Commissioner Rich Moyle said it was based on frustration with the state Legislature "ignoring the cities in South Florida." But he acknowledged the idea likely won't pass.

The commission is asking other municipalities and counties to join them. The boundary line would be from Palm Beach County down through Monroe County.
-----------------------------------------------------
Florida is the biggest fuckwit state east of the Mississippi.
Uh? Really? And why is that? Actually Florida is a highly advanced state, in the civilized areas. That would be Orlando, Tampa..I guess lol, and South Florida.
Hmmmm. I thought Florida was one of the sane states.
Florida is a sane state...as long as you keep to what we like to call civilization.
You know it's sad when the only wizard the state of Florida tolerates is an Imperial Wizard.

:D
I don't like you and I know that you suck at life, but for some reason that totally escpaes me, you managed something good. That joke was fantastic.:D:D

Wow o_O This only adds to my theory that some schools are proud to admit that your kid would learn more by not going to school.

http://www.local6.com/news/16169506/detail.html

Apparently an amateur, I mean very amateur, performed a half-assed magic trick in front of a middle school class in Florida and has been fired after being accused of wizardry. Good thing he didn't try to pull a quarter out from behind a kid's ear, he likely would have been shot and the shooter would get away with it for defending himself against evil wizards.

Yeah Florida isn't really a state it's just a mass of odd people.