NationStates Jolt Archive

This thread was inspired by a picture Marrakech posted of him and his lady, a discussion of the bitterness between Spaniards and Moors, and an episode of the Tyra Banks show. I draw my inspiration from many wells, some shallower than others.

So, questions: If you are or have been in an interracial relationship, what is/was your experience with prejudice where you live? Is your community generally accepting and open of such things, or generally condemning? What particular issues did you face with the general public, friends, family, etc?

If you've never been in an interracial relationship, would you? What are your thoughts/beliefs/concerns about them? Poll coming shortly.

Personally, I have been in a relationship with someone of a different race (him--black, Mexican and Native; me--palest white girl you ever saw) for five years, and I have generally experienced very little prejudice, except from one member of my family. My grandmother is very racist and will make racist comments, but I don't see her much and she knows if she makes them in front of me she's in for a lecture, so she doesn't do it much. Outside of that, the prejudice I've faced has been mainly in the form of dirty looks or comments from black women who see me and my boyfriend together. This doesn't happen very much, I live in an extremely diverse place, but it does happen occasionally and it always surprises and hurts me.

I'm married to an American woman of half African and half European descent.

We've been lucky enough to live in two very diverse cities (London and Los Angeles) and most of the comments about our differences have focused on our different nationalities rather than our different ethnicities. Generally speaking there haven't been too many problems.

I have never been, nor know people who are, but I haven't got any problems with them. I don't know I would get in one myself, ofcourse it's hard to say because you never know who I meet, but ofcourse an interracial relationship isn't that clear. I mean, when some people hear it, they just think it's a white person with a black person, although it's much much more. For the first, well for some unapparant reason I don't find myself attracted to black girls and for some reason it's more then with other races (latino, asian, native-american). I really have no idea why, because I'm definatly nót racist, maybe it's something genetic (that people technically prefer members of there own race), maybe because the black race is the most different from the white race (note: please, just different, not worse or more primitive, really I'm nót racist, it really feels unpleasent saying those things, because I alwayse think they get misinterpreted...). But ofcourse, who knows what will happen in the future, as long as I will be truly happy, I don't rule out anything.

If "Latino" counts as a different race from "plain old mongrel white" than I've been in an interracial relationship; if not, I haven't, but certainly wouldn't have a problem with being in one.

I generally tend to find white guys more attractive than guys of other races (which makes evolutionary sense, as we're predisposed towards sexual attraction to people whose genes aren't too very different from our own), but only in a very vague sort of way - which is to say that my preference for paler skin is just about as significant as my preference for brown hair, and can easily be trumped by being otherwise attractive.

Haven't, but would.


Hell, I'd hit anything that doesn't run away screaming. ;)

I'm married to an American woman of half African and half European descent.

We've been lucky enough to live in two very diverse cities (London and Los Angeles) and most of the comments about our differences have focused on our different nationalities rather than our different ethnicities. Generally speaking there haven't been too many problems.

It's great that you've lived in such progressive places, that's heartening to hear.

*snip*

I'm not going to judge anyone, I just want to hear honest opinions. You didn't say anything intentionally offensive.

If "Latino" counts as a different race from "plain old mongrel white" than I've been in an interracial relationship; if not, I haven't, but certainly wouldn't have a problem with being in one.

I generally tend to find white guys more attractive than guys of other races (which makes evolutionary sense, as we're predisposed towards sexual attraction to people whose genes aren't too very different from our own), but only in a very vague sort of way - which is to say that my preference for paler skin is just about as significant as my preference for brown hair, and can easily be trumped by being otherwise attractive.

Along those lines: My fiance´s Mexican and we´ve experienced some odd looks at us for that reason. I´m a white Spaniard, he´s Mexican. But all in all, we´ve never experienced any prejudice from our relationship. Now, when I was with the American boyfriend, yes, we were prejudiced over in Spain.

If "Latino" counts as a different race from "plain old mongrel white" than I've been in an interracial relationship; if not, I haven't, but certainly wouldn't have a problem with being in one.

I generally tend to find white guys more attractive than guys of other races (which makes evolutionary sense, as we're predisposed towards sexual attraction to people whose genes aren't too very different from our own), but only in a very vague sort of way - which is to say that my preference for paler skin is just about as significant as my preference for brown hair, and can easily be trumped by being otherwise attractive.

The census definitely counts it as different, so I'd say so. Of course race lines are so malleable in many ways.

I wonder about that theory. I grew up in a very diverse place, and then at 12-18 went to a school where the majority was Asian, and I've always been very attracted to Asian men, so I wonder how much nature and environment play in.

Along those lines: My fiance´s Mexican and we´ve experienced some odd looks at us for that reason. I´m a white Spaniard, he´s Mexican. But all in all, we´ve never experienced any prejudice from our relationship. Now, when I was with the American boyfriend, yes, we were prejudiced over in Spain.

Well, I suppose it's progress that countries are hated more than skin tones, right?

It's religion that matters to me - have to be Jewish.

But I would not have a problem dating a Jew of a different race.

Well, I suppose it's progress that countries are hated more than skin tones, right?

Prejudice isn´t progress. No matter how funny or sarcastically one wants to make it. I, for example, and following the line of the OP, feel no pride in the hate between Moors and Spaniards. But it´s there. We just all need to find a common ground.

It's religion that matters to me - have to be Jewish.

But I would not have a problem dating a Jew of a different race.

Ah, if we count "Jewish" as a race (as some people do), then I have indeed been in an "interracial" relationship and experienced absolutely ridiculous amounts of prejudice, up to and including being told that, because I had dared to date a (non-religious and son of a nominal-convert) Jewish guy without having been born Jewish myself, I was a whore and deserved to die. That was more than a little freaky.

It's great that you've lived in such progressive places, that's heartening to hear.

London and Los Angeles both have their problems (the latter especially) and I don't want people to think that either of them are places of complete racial harmony. I mentioned them because I know the extent to which prejudice can be openly expressed can be different in certain communities, especially those that lack diversity. Some people might even say that they'd prefer their prejudice out in the open rather than deal with superficial harmony in areas that have places like Watts.

I was born in Colombia and raised on the Texas coast, and I've dated two white women and a black woman, and I've never really caught any shit for any of the relationships because of their race.

Doesn't much matter to me, but I'm not usually (or ever, really) attracted to minorities. Maybe that makes me a bad person, but it's the way it is. :p

All of you should be ashamed for hastening the decline of civilization by polluting your genes with the inferior genetic detritus of the mud people that flow into our borders.

I would not contaminate myself with the foul, putrid romance of a black woman, even if she does decide to start returning my phone calls.

I grew up in what was, essentially, an all-white community, and oddly enough, race has very little meaning to me. I rarely take exceptional note when there's someone of a different ethnicity around, and I don't think an interracial relationship would bother me as a potential option, if I were to.

I grew up in what was, essentially, an all-white community, and oddly enough, race has very little meaning to me. I rarely take exceptional note when there's someone of a different ethnicity around, and I don't think an interracial relationship would bother me as a potential option, if I were to.

That's cool, but remember: it's racist to think that race isn't important, and it's racist to think that it is. Just a heads-up. :p

Uhm... the closest I've come is when I dated my ex-boyfriend. I'm mixed of half western, part Greek and part Turkish heritage, while he was Romanian. Nothing ever was said, though one of the people we were friend with said we looked like cousins.

I don't exactly know how to do this. This is my first post. To not get off-thread, though, I'll say I've never dated outside my race. When I've dated a non-Christian guy (which is just as important to me as whether your mate is Jewish or not), I was encouraged to keep dating him so as to possibly bring him into the fold (until I let him get a little too close one night). Since then, I would never date a nonChristian. I'm just no good at it.

As far as someone from another race goes, here in northern Arkansas, . . . well, on the surface everyone is saying that they're okay with the blacks and mexicans that are flooding in here more and more. I wouldn't want to stir things up by dating outside my race unless I was in a big city or in a college/university town. A man walked out of our church just the other night when the pastor dared to say that there was nothing in the Bible to suggest that black and white shouldn't marry. The pastor was right. But marriages start their lives on such shaky ground these days anyway; why not give any possible marriage the best possible start by just confining the pool of possible marriage subjects to those that aren't going to get you into such trouble?

I dated an American girl (I'm so ashamed!) other than that I'd say I've been pretty dull and never run into any trouble..

well now its become apparent that I need to screw an ethnic minority for the story :p

Uhm... the closest I've come is when I dated my ex-boyfriend. I'm mixed of half western, part Greek and part Turkish heritage, while he was Romanian. Nothing ever was said, though one of the people we were friend with said we looked like cousins.

Heh. Freud would be proud, I'd bet. :p

I don't like seeing a black man with a white woman, but i seem to have no problem with white men with black women, nor with myself dating a blue skinned alien humanoid, so clearly, I have some issues to work out. :headbang:

I have often lusted after Indian co-workers. Indian girls (dots, not feathers) are cute.

I have often lusted after Indian co-workers. Indian girls (dots, not feathers) are cute.

Source?

Ah, if we count "Jewish" as a race (as some people do), then I have indeed been in an "interracial" relationship and experienced absolutely ridiculous amounts of prejudice, up to and including being told that, because I had dared to date a (non-religious and son of a nominal-convert) Jewish guy without having been born Jewish myself, I was a whore and deserved to die. That was more than a little freaky.

That's a tough one... I don't think of Jewish as a different race, really, but most Jewish people I know do. I dated a Jewish boy and faced no prejudice, however. I'm having trouble figuring out how the religion/race of the person you date makes you a whore... people are so strange.

Prejudice isn´t progress. No matter how funny or sarcastically one wants to make it. I, for example, and following the line of the OP, feel no pride in the hate between Moors and Spaniards. But it´s there. We just all need to find a common ground.

You're right. I wasn't trying to be flippant, just trying to find the silver lining, I guess, but prejudice in any form is not a good thing.

Source?
I need a citation to support a personal preference?

I dated an American girl (I'm so ashamed!) other than that I'd say I've been pretty dull and never run into any trouble..

well now its become apparent that I need to screw an ethnic minority for the story :p

Hey! I resemble that!

I need a citation to support a personal preference?

'twas a joke about how people say source too much.

I don't like seeing a black man with a white woman, but i seem to have no problem with white men with black women, nor with myself dating a blue skinned alien humanoid, so clearly, I have some issues to work out. :headbang:

That's really interesting. Do you have any idea why one bothers you but not the other? I have experienced the same attitude a few times.

That's a tough one... I don't think of Jewish as a different race, really, but most Jewish people I know do. I dated a Jewish boy and faced no prejudice, however. I'm having trouble figuring out how the religion/race of the person you date makes you a whore... people are so strange.

I think your last sentence is really the answer, here. People are just weird.

A man walked out of our church just the other night when the pastor dared to say that there was nothing in the Bible to suggest that black and white shouldn't marry. The pastor was right. But marriages start their lives on such shaky ground these days anyway; why not give any possible marriage the best possible start by just confining the pool of possible marriage subjects to those that aren't going to get you into such trouble?

You would certainly face fewer, or at least different, issues if you married someone who was "like you"--in terms of race, religion, SEC, etc. But how do you "confine the pool", as you said? If you are attracted to someone of a different race or religion, do you just not pursue it? Or do you not even entertain the possibility long enough to see if you're attracted at all? I certainly didn't set out to date a black man--I didn't set out to date someone of any particular type. He was just a person I met that I was attracted to.

I am not racist by any means, but I do admit there are some races I am naturally attracted to more than others.

That's really interesting. Do you have any idea why one bothers you but not the other? I have experienced the same attitude a few times.
I think it started when I learned the "black men have bigger penises" stereotype, but there might have been some unconsious feelings before that too. I'll probably never really know.

The only problems the wife and I have faced has come from black Americans. The guys are fine however we have had several comments made from black women over the years. Not from ghetto blacks either but middle class black women from what I can judge. Overall most people are cool about it. Our area is fairly open with race relations.

One of the times was in our own restaurant a few years back. It is fairly popular and was a busy night. We had a table open and reserved for a party of friends that we walked in with. We walked through the front door past the girls in the front and sat down. A black woman waiting for a table piped up and said who do you think you are sitting before us? The wife chimed in and told her none of her business what we were doing. She then said to my wife "why are you talking?". Wife promptly said because you are being rude to my husband. The woman then said "You couldn't find a black man so you settled for a white one?" I then got up and walked toward her. She didn't know what I was going to do and basically took a defensive posture. I then politely told her that she needed to leave the restaurant. She told me that "She can do whatever she damn well pleases.". I told her she was right but she couldn't do that in my restaurant. She had a look on her face. I then repeated for her to leave while I had a few of my employees come and stand near me. She got her friend and took off. I was a bit shocked about the whole thing. Hopefully she learned something that night.

You're right. I wasn't trying to be flippant, just trying to find the silver lining, I guess, but prejudice in any form is not a good thing.

I know you weren´t trying to be flippant. No worries there. My point is, interracial couples are as normal as same racial couples. It´s sad that (and I include my people on that) on the 21st. century we still have problems because we fell in love with someone from another race.

I am a white male. I am currently dating a Korean female.
Before I have dated a black female.
Also Several more Korean and a few Chinese and one very crazy Mexican(recent Ex so forgive).

Racism I have experienced in the states has been mild. Most of my Interracial dating has been with Asian females and stereotype wise that is considered the most acceptable in the US, so it is not surprising.
In Korea However I have experience moderate Racism while dating a korean female. normally just the Stares. though the worst incident took place when they made me and my girlfriend walk around the outside fence to her university campus(woman university) instead of cutting through the middle during the night. the Guard even said take your white guy and walk around and even allowed a korean couple to cut through while my Girlfriend was arguing with him.

Here in Los Angeles it's not uncommon to see an interracial couples. No one cares or even notices most of the time, which is how it should be. The only people who find it wrong are racist old fogeys and people who are gang members because of the recent "black-brown tension" (fighting between Mexican/Latino gangs and black gangs).

My only problem with interracial relationships is that they aren't called simply relationships. Why does it matter if the two people aren't from the same race? It's totally irrelevant.

Oh, and I am biracial.

:cool:

It's not all it's cracked up to be. I mean sure, you go and find yourself an nice Deep One, but then they're all smelling like fish and got the buggy eyes and stuff. And sure the kids live forever but you got to listen to that Cthulu ad he's all like "look at me, I'm dead but dreaming...". Seriously listening to that gets really old after a few hundred years. Eventually it's enough that you just want to move as far away from Innsmouth (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shadow_Over_Innsmouth) as possible.

Oh wait you're talking about skin color? Oh, uh... never mind.

Wicked Relevant (http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=KR3wGlRcUKo)

Of the four relationships I've been in, they've all been interracial. We didn't get any prejudice from the interracial part, but the same sex thing certainly did. :rolleyes:

I have been out with a lot of women from different races and have had only had comments twice. Harsh stares on numerous occasions though. The comments were both at bars by black men and were mostly directed at her. Nothing too serious.

When I was in school, I played sports with a lot of black guys and was truly disgusted with the way that they constantly talked about white girls and I was down on interracial relationships for a long time because of that. There is a lot of white girls who date black guys because it's trendy and I would never touch those girls myself. From past experience, I have a very low opinion of the kind of girls who exclusively date guys from other races. There are black girls that do the same thing, so I don't know really know what's up with that.

I've never been dating at all, so certain species of ape aren't entirely out of the question at this point.

Hell, I'd hit anything that doesn't run away screaming. ;)

Mandy: Your father was a Roman.
Brian: You mean... you were RAPED?!
Mandy: Well... at first, yes.
http://www.virginmedia.com/images/1banned-gal-life-of-brian.jpg
:p

I've had crushes on men of other ethnicities, but none of them ever went anywhere, so I can't say I've been in an interracial relationship. And now that I'm married, I doubt I ever will. Don't have any issue with them, though.

One of my good friends - a very pale white woman - is married to a man of mixed ethnicity. His father was black and his mother has just about the palest skin I've ever seen. He has dark-skinned siblings from his father's previous marriage and sisters with about the same skin tone as him. I was the maid of honor at their wedding and I had to run some serious interference after he found out that her sister-in-law called his brother the "n" word at the rehearsal dinner. The same sister-in-law later tried to keep my friend and her daughter from coming over because she didn't want a "halfbreed" child playing with her kids. Some people are ridiculous.

One of the few good relationships in my life, actually. She was very, very cool.

My girlfriend is Japanese. She has some quirks and behaviors that are stereotypical for Japanese. She loves karaoke, she is unnecessarily polite to people she doesn't know, she nods and says hi to you even when she doesn't understand what you are saying.

I voted mild prejudice because I always sort of expect her to act Japanese. Does that make sense?

I need a citation to support a personal preference?

I think that, translated, that post reads "Gimmie pics of hot Indian chicks NOW!!!!!".

In high school I started dating an Iranian girl who ultimately broke it off with me because I was white and her family and other people in her community would not approve.

I've never been dating at all, so certain species of ape aren't entirely out of the question at this point.

LMAO. At least you are staying within the primates.

All of you should be ashamed for hastening the decline of civilization by polluting your genes with the inferior genetic detritus of the mud people that flow into our borders.

I would not contaminate myself with the foul, putrid romance of a black woman, even if she does decide to start returning my phone calls.

I'm surprised that nobody seems to have commented on this. This sort of attitude needs to suppressed.

Unless it's just some kind of joke; still, it's not funny.

I'm surprised that nobody seems to have commented on this. This sort of attitude needs to suppressed.

Unless it's just some kind of joke; still, it's not funny.

Most of us here know that "Jhahannam" is a parody. I forget who's head he lives in.

Most of us here know that "Jhahannam" is a parody. I forget who's head he lives in.

Okay then. Judging from the lack of a reaction, I figured that's all it was.

Real racists can just go straight to hell though. I actually owe my existence to an interracial relationship, so racism tends to annoy me.

Nope, I never have. And I probably never will.

Most of us here know that "Jhahannam" is a parody. I forget who's head he lives in.
<.<
>.>

So, questions: If you are or have been in an interracial relationship, what is/was your experience with prejudice where you live? Is your community generally accepting and open of such things, or generally condemning? What particular issues did you face with the general public, friends, family, etc?
What is interracial? I've yet to have sex with someone with the same citizenship as the other girls I've slept with, but only one of them was "non-caucasian" on account of being half-korean. ('Course, what constitutes a "relationship"?)

I'm American and I dated a Canadian girl once.

I voted "any species" because the only example I can think of (Hi, DMS!) wasn't that different in skin-colour from me that anyone would have thought "OMG, they're different races."

If anyone looked funny at us, I always assumed they were jealous as fuck. Or didn't like dreadlocks. :)

Haven't, and most likely won't. Other than white women (Northern Europeans), the only ones I find attractive are some Indians (feathers, not dots), and we will most likely never have one of those in Norway.

I don't mind people who are involved in interracial relationships though. Its their lives and they do whatever they want. I just will never be.

Haven't, and most likely won't. Other than white women (Northern Europeans), the only ones I find attractive are some Indians (feathers, not dots), and we will most likely never have one of those in Norway.

I don't mind people who are involved in interracial relationships though. Its their lives and they do whatever they want. I just will never be.

Welcome back, Ny Nordland.

*checks fridge*

No, that one has gone rotten.

*goes to get a fresh can of Whuppass*

Welcome back, Ny Nordland.

*checks fridge*

No, that one has gone rotten.

*goes to get a fresh can of Whuppass*

I don't get it.

Welcome back, Ny Nordland.
You can tell with only 15 posts?

I don't get it.

Well, sorry. There was a poster on here, Ny Nordland (I think I spelled it right) who was absolutely obsessed with non-N-European immigrants coming to Norway and raping the womenfolk.

He really offended a lot of people here, though (IIRC) it turned out that his sister or girlfriend or something had been raped by an immigrant.

We'd never have known that, except that some kind souls offered him understanding instead of condemnation for the rather extreme racist views he put forth.

So, I was thinking you were him, somewhat healed by time, but still intolerant.

A can of whup-ass is some American product, intended to seriously harm another. I don't think it is available here in Australia.

If you are Ny Nordland, congratulations on your partial recovery. If not, I hope I have properly explained why I would suddenly attack you. Bro, it's guilt by association and I stand here condemning myself.

Hell, I condemn myself anyway. That was wrong, and I'm sorry. I'm doing nothing but harm today. :(

You can tell with only 15 posts?

I didn't even look at the other 14. I'm drunk. :D

About 12 years ago I was going out with a Japanese girl whose family put serious pressure on her to break up with me, and she ended up going with family.

And in a related note, my last serious girlfriend's mother contributed to our break up when she told me she wouldn't accept a non-Christian son-in-law, and that I'd have to be proprly baptised and convert from Buddhism if I was serious.

It's not all it's cracked up to be. I mean sure, you go and find yourself an nice Deep One, but then they're all smelling like fish and got the buggy eyes and stuff. And sure the kids live forever but you got to listen to that Cthulu ad he's all like "look at me, I'm dead but dreaming...". Seriously listening to that gets really old after a few hundred years. Eventually it's enough that you just want to move as far away from Innsmouth (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shadow_Over_Innsmouth) as possible.

Oh wait you're talking about skin color? Oh, uh... never mind.

Best. Post. EVAH! (At least on this topic. ;))

I dated a black guy once, but it never really turned into a relationship. Shame, really, but it was just the wrong thing at the wrong time.
These days, I'm a German living in Ireland with an English fiance, that's about as interracial as it gets right now.

On a side note, I once dated a Christian, too. That was about the weirdest experience I EVER had... by far.

I am dating a girl from Hong Kong at the moment. I've not directly experienced any prejudice, although my father is an avowed racist (but seems to be generally accepting?). Apparently her father does not like westerners at all, for what reason I don't know.

I've not had any public incidents like others have reported, to my surprise really. Maybe most aussies are more tolerant than what I sometimes give them credit for :P

On a side note, I once dated a Christian, too. That was about the weirdest experience I EVER had... by far.

I had a date once with a Muslim Pakistani-Dane... it would have lasted but he was shorter than me, and more of a friend.

Not sure how to best explain this. I generally do not find African/Indian/Aboriginal women to be beautiful/attractive, except if they are themselves of mixed racial heritage. I find then they look more exotic.

I prefer North European the most. But also find South European, East European, East Asian and Latin American [preferably either mestizo or of european descent] to be attractive. Simply the bone structures/features are the most attractive to me with those.

I've been in a one not-very-serious interracial relationship (being everything but Indian and East Asian makes that more difficult - then again, I might count that as meaning EVERY relationship is interracial, which would make it a few). Actually, that one was in a type of rebellion, she was Confucian, and my family required at least some sort of monotheism (we're Jewish). Though, if you count all my "relationships" (none of which went very far), none have been determined by race at all (though I have experienced discrimination; a black girlfriend's mother mandated breakup, but that was it.)

I'm white and my boyfriend is Chinese. His parents have said they would prefer he date a chinese girl but they have not been rude to me. They have in fact, been very kind and welcoming. The only problem we may have is food. I'm a vegetarian and his mom's cooking doesn't seem to be vegetarian friendly.
As far as the general public goes. We have experienced no rude comments or stares at all.

In high school I started dating an Iranian girl who ultimately broke it off with me because I was white and her family and other people in her community would not approve.

The first girl I ever dated was a very sweet Arab girl; it was great while it lasted, but when her family found out, I never saw her again...

Dated a Chinese woman once who couldn't let her parents know about me, that was fun. My wife is Japanese and AFAIK, we haven't had any issues beyond the random staring that you sometimes get in Japan. My wife has gotten a lot of very curious questions from Japanese women about why she married an American from time to time though.

I just get questionsfrom Japanese guys about if I'm ok with my wife's breasts because they aren't as big and nice as American breasts. :rolleyes:

I've had a couple 'inter-racial' relationships. One with a Brazilian Woman named Isobelle, and my current one with a black woman named Lisa. I have suffered some mild prejudice (mostly with my mom's jackass husband) over the whole deal.

I'm gay so I figure no matter who I date people are going to have prejudices, so how much worse could the racism make it? chances of finding a religious vegetarian gay dude also seem rather slim unless he's Hindu, so Indian guys it is! if I could snag an intelligent wiccan I'd be happy, but I'm not holding my breath...