NationStates Jolt Archive


Really, no one's posted this?

United Chicken Kleptos
25-04-2008, 07:07
Penis theft panic!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080423/od_nm/witchcraft_dc;_ylt=AhG9WwS1fEEbTcJ5Ji8PJCkDW7oF

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.
RhynoD
25-04-2008, 07:07
Yes....twice.
United Chicken Kleptos
25-04-2008, 07:08
Dammit! I missed those threads!
RhynoD
25-04-2008, 07:11
They're back there somewhere. I'm way too lazy to find them, though. There's a thread about it in the mod forum actually, I think.
United Chicken Kleptos
25-04-2008, 07:12
Is this story that old?
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 07:13
Is this story that old?

Like, almost a week, I would say.
Marrakech II
25-04-2008, 07:15
Is this story that old?

I heard this story years ago or one that sounded very close to this. However old this story is penis snatching is a problem that is still faced by millions. For only 50 cents a day you too can save a young child from having their penis snatched. Send all monies to Marrakech Foundation for Penis Protection.
RhynoD
25-04-2008, 07:17
I heard this story years ago or one that sounded very close to this. However old this story is penis snatching is a problem that is still faced by millions. For only 50 cents a day you too can save a young child from having their penis snatched. Send all monies to Marrakech Foundation for Penis Protection.

I dunno...how much per dollar is spent directly on Penis protection?
Marrakech II
25-04-2008, 07:19
I dunno...how much per dollar is spent directly on Penis protection? We use a generous 2 cents on every dollar for penis protection. This is the best rate in the industry!
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 07:20
We use a generous 2 cents on every dollar for penis protection. This is the best rate in the industry!

Where can I sign? I want to protect the poor, African penises. Yes.
RhynoD
25-04-2008, 07:22
We use a generous 2 cents on every dollar for penis protection. This is the best rate in the industry!

Hmm...I dunno. I think I want to give my money to the Foundation for a Better Life...(because how can you disagree with the foundation for a better life...best charitable organization name ever). I'm sure must have a penis protection program...
Copiosa Scotia
25-04-2008, 07:22
Personally, I'm not too worried. You'd need at least a five-man crew to steal mine.

...I'll show myself out.
Marrakech II
25-04-2008, 07:24
Hmm...I dunno. I think I want to give my money to the Foundation for a Better Life...(because how can you disagree with the foundation for a better life...best charitable organization name ever). I'm sure must have a penis protection program...

How can you have a better life without your penis protected? Think about it......
RhynoD
25-04-2008, 07:24
Personally, I'm not too worried. You'd need at least a five-man crew to steal mine.

...I'll show myself out.

Five men, eh? That's quite a search party.

Or you are really gay. Either way.
Lach-Land
25-04-2008, 07:26
Help the victims! Donate your penis today!!! I'm going to a organ bank right now!!!
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 07:27
Personally, I'm not too worried. You'd need at least a five-man crew to steal mine.

...I'll show myself out.

Stay with me in a room for 5 minutes. You´ll beg me to take your penis when I´m through with you.;)
RhynoD
25-04-2008, 07:27
Help the victims! Donate your penis today!!! I'm going to a organ bank right now!!!

Now what was that video I heard about...Mr. Pain or something...
United Chicken Kleptos
25-04-2008, 07:33
Stay with me in a room for 5 minutes. You´ll beg me to take your penis when I´m through with you.;)

You wouldn't happen to be a woman, would you?
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 07:37
You wouldn't happen to be a woman, would you?

I am.
Lapse
25-04-2008, 07:38
For only 50 cents a day you too can save a young child from having their penis snatched
how much per dollar is spent directly on Penis protection?
We use a generous 2 cents on every dollar for penis protection.
I want to protect the poor, African penises
I'm sure must have a penis protection program...
Donate your penis today!!!
You´ll beg me to take your penis when I´m through with you.

*blinks*
*turns around, leaves thread*

There are some things you don't want to be hearing when you wake up from a nice midday nap...
RhynoD
25-04-2008, 07:39
Hi Lapse! *waves*
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 07:40
Hi Lapse! *waves*

I think Lapse´s gone. He had a nice midday nap and refuses to listen to penis talk after it.:D
RhynoD
25-04-2008, 07:42
We talk about worse on the SSA (s8.invisionfree.com/SSA05)...Maybe.

And yes, I typed out the URL, because yes, I have the url for the SSA memorized.
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 07:43
We talk about worse on the SSA (s8.invisionfree.com/SSA05)...Maybe.

And yes, I typed out the URL, because yes, I have the url for the SSA memorized.

I´m a member, remember?;)
United Chicken Kleptos
25-04-2008, 07:43
I am.

Well, then, in that case, would you care to... I've just realized how bad that would sound. I'll just go now.
Lach-Land
25-04-2008, 07:44
I think Lapse´s gone. He had a nice midday nap and refuses to listen to penis talk after it.

so theirs no need to Re:lapse:D
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 07:45
Well, then, in that case, would you care to... I've just realized how bad that would sound. I'll just go now.

Care to what?
RhynoD
25-04-2008, 07:46
I´m a member, remember?;)

Indeed!

*slaps lapse* Care to join me?
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 07:48
Indeed!

*slaps lapse* Care to join me?

UCK is Lapse? Care to join you where? SSA?
Lapse
25-04-2008, 07:49
HI RHYNO! *Waves back*


Sorry... was playing around with signature...

Indeed!

*slaps lapse* Care to join me?

Okay, I assume I am joining you in yelling at Nanatsu to get back to SSA?
United Chicken Kleptos
25-04-2008, 07:49
Care to what?

Well, it has nothing to do with stealing my penis.

Actually, yes it does.

This isn't sexual harassment, is it?
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 07:51
HI RHYNO! *Waves back*


Sorry... was playing around with signature...



Okay, I assume I am joining you in yelling at Nanatsu to get back to SSA?

Oh gods! I´m being dragged away from NS to SSA. I better take the punishment like the good girl that I am? You won´t be too harsh, right boys?
RhynoD
25-04-2008, 07:54
Oh gods! I´m being dragged away from NS to SSA. I better take the punishment like the good girl that I am? You won´t be too harsh, right boys?

Bowchickabowow.

And I mean join me in slapping lapse, a favorite SSA past-time, along with fish-slapping, brain-stealing (and subsequent eating), and fire-starting.
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 07:55
Bowchickabowow.

And I mean join me in slapping lapse, a favorite SSA past-time, along with fish-slapping, brain-stealing (and subsequent eating), and fire-starting.

Ok.

*slaps Lapse*

Rhyno told me it was ok to.:D
Lapse
25-04-2008, 07:57
Ok.

*slaps Lapse*

Rhyno told me it was ok to.:D

<_<

so, you prefer to give out the punishment hey? ;)
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 07:58
<_<

so, you prefer to give out the punishment hey? ;)

Nope. I have a shota complex sometimes. I don´t like to give but to...
Em... I´m getting too personal so now, I´m gonna stop.
RhynoD
25-04-2008, 08:00
<_<

so, you prefer to give out the punishment hey? ;)

Yeah...she's kinky alright. Chocolate vanilla milkshake strawberry waffle sex. Yeah.
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 08:02
Yeah...she's kinky alright. Chocolate vanilla milkshake strawberry waffle sex. Yeah.

Look who´s talking. >.>
RhynoD
25-04-2008, 08:04
Look who´s talking. >.>

Never said I wasn't.
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 08:05
Never said I wasn't.

Yeah yeah.
Lapse
25-04-2008, 08:06
Look who´s talking. >.>

Look who's having her fetishes revealed slowly and excruciatingly to a bunch of weird males on an online internet forum in a thread about penis snatching!

That is one of those things you don't expect to say every day... http://209.85.48.8/html/emoticons/unsure.gif
RhynoD
25-04-2008, 08:09
Look who's having her fetishes revealed slowly and excruciatingly to a bunch of weird males on an online internet forum in a thread about penis snatching!

That is one of those things you don't expect to say every day... http://209.85.48.8/html/emoticons/unsure.gif

Really? I mean, I guess not that specifically, but I wake up everyday knowing I'm going to say something fucking weird like "THREE THOUSAND PENISES!" or "Fuck Enviro, we're back to Styro! We should make a flier or something, with a picture of a guy raping Bambi."
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 08:09
Look who's having her fetishes revealed slowly and excruciatingly to a bunch of weird males on an online internet forum in a thread about penis snatching!

That is one of those things you don't expect to say every day... http://209.85.48.8/html/emoticons/unsure.gif


Gah. You make me sound like an evil succubus. I´m not.:(
New Malachite Square
25-04-2008, 08:13
Gah. You make me sound like an evil succubus. I´m not.:(

You're the good kind?
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 08:14
You're the good kind?

I´m a good girl. It´s all those people thinking I´m a vixen or something.
Lach-Land
25-04-2008, 08:15
You're the good kind?

Lol

(what a pointless post)
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 08:17
Lol

(what a pointless post)

Lach-Land... I´m gonna fish-slap you for that. :eek: Tremble in fear of my might!!
New Malachite Square
25-04-2008, 08:18
Lol (what a pointless post)

I think once a thread has been 'jacked, nothing falls under the definition of "pointless" anymore.
Lapse
25-04-2008, 08:18
Lach-Land... I´m gonna fish-slap you for that. :eek: Tremble in fear of my might!!

See, told ya :P
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 08:21
See, told ya :P

<.<

And you, Lapse, I´m gonna fish-slap you too. And you´re gonna love it.
Lach-Land
25-04-2008, 08:22
Lach-Land... I´m gonna fish-slap you for that. :eek: Tremble in fear of my might!!

PLEASE NO! OH GOD NO!!! I BEG OF YOU!!!*falls to knees trembling*
New Malachite Square
25-04-2008, 08:24
Is there any easy way to gif-ify a flash video? I feel the topic of fish-slapping would benefit greatly from… illustration.
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 08:25
PLEASE NO! OH GOD NO!!! I BEG OF YOU!!!*falls to knees trembling*

Meh. I´m off to bed. I´m too tired. I´ll fish-slap you tomorrow. Buh-bye!:)
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 08:26
Is there any easy way to gif-ify a flash video? I feel the topic of fish-slapping would benefit greatly from… illustration.

YouTube it. There might be something along those lines.:D
Lapse
25-04-2008, 08:26
Meh. I´m off to bed. I´m too tired. I´ll fish-slap you tomorrow. Buh-bye!:)

WHAT! FISH SLAP ME FIRST!!! I WANNA BE FISH SLAPPED!!!
New Malachite Square
25-04-2008, 08:27
Meh. I´m off to bed. I´m too tired.

You said that before too. :)
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 08:29
WHAT! FISH SLAP ME FIRST!!! I WANNA BE FISH SLAPPED!!!

O.x

You wanna be fish-slapped that bad? I will, but you have to tell me how badly you want to be slapped.
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 08:29
You said that before too. :)

Yeah, but you don´t let me go. You keep giving me fuel with your crazy comments.
New Malachite Square
25-04-2008, 08:30
Yeah, but you don´t let me go. You keep giving me fuel with your crazy comments.

*diabolical laughter*
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 08:31
*diabolical laughter*

I´m gonna lose all my stamina if I keep answering your posts. I need to be released!
New Malachite Square
25-04-2008, 08:32
I´m gonna lose all my stamina if I keep answering your posts. I need to be released!

*releases*
Lapse
25-04-2008, 08:33
Meh. I´m off to bed. I´m too tired. I´ll fish-slap you tomorrow. Buh-bye!:)

WHAT! slapping for me :(

:P
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 08:34
WHAT! FISH SLAP ME FIRST!!! I WANNA BE FISH SLAPPED!!!

http://justgiving.typepad.com/justgivings_blog/images/fish.jpg
There. Happy?
Lach-Land
25-04-2008, 08:34
Meh. I´m off to bed. I´m too tired. I´ll fish-slap you tomorrow. Buh-bye!:)

Great now i've got a night of Intense fear...:(
Lapse
25-04-2008, 08:35
http://justgiving.typepad.com/justgivings_blog/images/fish.jpg
There. Happy?

that wasn't quite as fun as I hoped :(
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 08:36
that wasn't quite as fun as I hoped :(

Hey, I tried. I can boob-slap you but that would be too much.
Lach-Land
25-04-2008, 08:38
Hey, I tried. I can boob-slap you but that would be too much.

put me up for one:D
Nanatsu no Tsuki
25-04-2008, 08:40
put me up for one:D

Here you go. Good night!
http://www.members.aol.com/sker4NU/boob.gif
Say hello to Boobie McBoob!!

Boas noites, meus imbéciles!
Lach-Land
25-04-2008, 08:42
Here you go. Good night!

http://www.members.aol.com/sker4NU/boob.gif
Say hello to Boobie McBoob!!

Boas noites, meus imbéciles!
umm what?

that was no way near as fun as i hoped...
Lapse
25-04-2008, 08:46
umm what?

that was no way near as fun as i hoped...

It's completely disappeared now!!!
Lach-Land
25-04-2008, 08:50
It's completely disappeared now!!!

what? the link doesn't work? oh you don't know what you're missing out on! best porn of my life!!!
Lapse
25-04-2008, 08:54
what? the link doesn't work? oh you don't know what you're missing out on! best porn of my life!!!

oh, now I see it...

yeah... yeahh... that rally does it for me... :headbang:
Lach-Land
25-04-2008, 08:58
oh, now I see it...

yeah... yeahh... that rally does it for me... :headbang:

lol.
i was trying to torment you.*rolls eyes*
Lapse
25-04-2008, 09:12
lol.
i was trying to torment you.*rolls eyes*

oh, well.... uhhmm...

you smell like ugly <_<
Lach-Land
25-04-2008, 09:16
oh, well.... uhhmm...

you smell like ugly <_<

ATLEAST MY FACE ISN'T SCREACHY!!!
Lapse
25-04-2008, 09:28
ATLEAST MY FACE ISN'T SCREACHY!!!

SCREACHY IS BETTER THAN LOOKING LIKE THE BUM OF A DOG AFTER THE DOG SAT IN IT OWN POO AND THE POO WAS ALL RUNNY!
Kostemetsia
25-04-2008, 11:59
Oo, burn. :D
Lapse
25-04-2008, 12:51
*highfives my posse*
Andaras
25-04-2008, 12:56
Avada Kedavra!
Lapse
25-04-2008, 12:57
Avada Kedavra!

Hovus Povus!
Kostemetsia
25-04-2008, 13:05
Expelliarmus!

*grabs both wands*

Wait, wands? :eek:
Lapse
25-04-2008, 13:08
Expelliarmus!

*grabs both wands*

Wait, wands? :eek:

*turns into a duck*

"Quack quack quack"
(That is duck for bastard <_<)
Kostemetsia
25-04-2008, 13:11
Idea.

*aims at Andaras' groin*

Sectumsempra!

There, that didn't hurt a bit, now did it?
Copiosa Scotia
25-04-2008, 15:33
Five men, eh? That's quite a search party.

Or you are really gay. Either way.

:(

Stay with me in a room for 5 minutes. You´ll beg me to take your penis when I´m through with you.;)

:eek:
Straughn
26-04-2008, 04:35
Like, almost a week, I would say.

It makes GREAT workplace conversation, though.
Some argument of eminent domain came up ....
Lach-Land
26-04-2008, 06:12
SCREACHY IS BETTER THAN LOOKING LIKE THE BUM OF A DOG AFTER THE DOG SAT IN IT OWN POO AND THE POO WAS ALL RUNNY!

OH YEA!!! WELL YOU SMELL LIKE THE BUM OF A DOG AFTER THE DOG SAT IN IT OWN POO AND THE POO WAS ALL RUNNY AND THE DOG ATE CABBAGE AND EGGS AND WAS FEELING SICK SO IT WAS FARTING ALOT AND HAS NEVER HAD A BATH!
Kostemetsia
26-04-2008, 07:54
Oo, burn. :D
Lapse
26-04-2008, 08:00
OH YEA!!! WELL YOU SMELL LIKE THE BUM OF A DOG AFTER THE DOG SAT IN IT OWN POO AND THE POO WAS ALL RUNNY AND THE DOG ATE CABBAGE AND EGGS AND WAS FEELING SICK SO IT WAS FARTING ALOT AND HAS NEVER HAD A BATH!
SAME AS ABOVE EXCEPT THE EGGS WERE VERY OLD, THE CABBAGE WAS REALLY FART BOMBS AND THE DOG HAD NOT ONLY NEVER HAD A BATH BUT IT REGULARLY WENT SWIMMING IN THE SHIT POOLS AT THE LOCAL SEWERAGE PLANT!!!
Straughn
26-04-2008, 08:06
Really? I mean, I guess not that specifically, but I wake up everyday knowing I'm going to say something fucking weird like "THREE THOUSAND PENISES!" or "Fuck Enviro, we're back to Styro! We should make a flier or something, with a picture of a guy raping Bambi."

Sigworthy!
Straughn
26-04-2008, 08:08
Stay with me in a room for 5 minutes. You´ll beg me to take your penis when I´m through with you.;):eek:
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised!