NationStates Jolt Archive

Penis theft panic!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080423/od_nm/witchcraft_dc;_ylt=AhG9WwS1fEEbTcJ5Ji8PJCkDW7oF

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.

Yes....twice.

Dammit! I missed those threads!

They're back there somewhere. I'm way too lazy to find them, though. There's a thread about it in the mod forum actually, I think.

Is this story that old?

Is this story that old?

Like, almost a week, I would say.

Is this story that old?

I heard this story years ago or one that sounded very close to this. However old this story is penis snatching is a problem that is still faced by millions. For only 50 cents a day you too can save a young child from having their penis snatched. Send all monies to Marrakech Foundation for Penis Protection.

I heard this story years ago or one that sounded very close to this. However old this story is penis snatching is a problem that is still faced by millions. For only 50 cents a day you too can save a young child from having their penis snatched. Send all monies to Marrakech Foundation for Penis Protection.

I dunno...how much per dollar is spent directly on Penis protection?

I dunno...how much per dollar is spent directly on Penis protection? We use a generous 2 cents on every dollar for penis protection. This is the best rate in the industry!

We use a generous 2 cents on every dollar for penis protection. This is the best rate in the industry!

Where can I sign? I want to protect the poor, African penises. Yes.

We use a generous 2 cents on every dollar for penis protection. This is the best rate in the industry!

Hmm...I dunno. I think I want to give my money to the Foundation for a Better Life...(because how can you disagree with the foundation for a better life...best charitable organization name ever). I'm sure must have a penis protection program...

Personally, I'm not too worried. You'd need at least a five-man crew to steal mine.

...I'll show myself out.

Hmm...I dunno. I think I want to give my money to the Foundation for a Better Life...(because how can you disagree with the foundation for a better life...best charitable organization name ever). I'm sure must have a penis protection program...

How can you have a better life without your penis protected? Think about it......

Personally, I'm not too worried. You'd need at least a five-man crew to steal mine.

...I'll show myself out.

Five men, eh? That's quite a search party.

Or you are really gay. Either way.

Help the victims! Donate your penis today!!! I'm going to a organ bank right now!!!

Personally, I'm not too worried. You'd need at least a five-man crew to steal mine.

...I'll show myself out.

Stay with me in a room for 5 minutes. You´ll beg me to take your penis when I´m through with you.;)

Help the victims! Donate your penis today!!! I'm going to a organ bank right now!!!

Now what was that video I heard about...Mr. Pain or something...

Stay with me in a room for 5 minutes. You´ll beg me to take your penis when I´m through with you.;)

You wouldn't happen to be a woman, would you?

You wouldn't happen to be a woman, would you?

I am.

For only 50 cents a day you too can save a young child from having their penis snatched
how much per dollar is spent directly on Penis protection?
We use a generous 2 cents on every dollar for penis protection.
I want to protect the poor, African penises
I'm sure must have a penis protection program...
Donate your penis today!!!
You´ll beg me to take your penis when I´m through with you.

*blinks*
*turns around, leaves thread*

There are some things you don't want to be hearing when you wake up from a nice midday nap...

Hi Lapse! *waves*

Hi Lapse! *waves*

I think Lapse´s gone. He had a nice midday nap and refuses to listen to penis talk after it.:D

We talk about worse on the SSA (s8.invisionfree.com/SSA05)...Maybe.

And yes, I typed out the URL, because yes, I have the url for the SSA memorized.

We talk about worse on the SSA (s8.invisionfree.com/SSA05)...Maybe.

And yes, I typed out the URL, because yes, I have the url for the SSA memorized.

I´m a member, remember?;)

I am.

Well, then, in that case, would you care to... I've just realized how bad that would sound. I'll just go now.

I think Lapse´s gone. He had a nice midday nap and refuses to listen to penis talk after it.

so theirs no need to Re:lapse:D

Well, then, in that case, would you care to... I've just realized how bad that would sound. I'll just go now.

Care to what?

I´m a member, remember?;)

Indeed!

*slaps lapse* Care to join me?

Indeed!

*slaps lapse* Care to join me?

UCK is Lapse? Care to join you where? SSA?

HI RHYNO! *Waves back*


Sorry... was playing around with signature...

Indeed!

*slaps lapse* Care to join me?

Okay, I assume I am joining you in yelling at Nanatsu to get back to SSA?

Care to what?

Well, it has nothing to do with stealing my penis.

Actually, yes it does.

This isn't sexual harassment, is it?

HI RHYNO! *Waves back*


Sorry... was playing around with signature...



Okay, I assume I am joining you in yelling at Nanatsu to get back to SSA?

Oh gods! I´m being dragged away from NS to SSA. I better take the punishment like the good girl that I am? You won´t be too harsh, right boys?

Oh gods! I´m being dragged away from NS to SSA. I better take the punishment like the good girl that I am? You won´t be too harsh, right boys?

Bowchickabowow.

And I mean join me in slapping lapse, a favorite SSA past-time, along with fish-slapping, brain-stealing (and subsequent eating), and fire-starting.

Bowchickabowow.

And I mean join me in slapping lapse, a favorite SSA past-time, along with fish-slapping, brain-stealing (and subsequent eating), and fire-starting.

Ok.

*slaps Lapse*

Rhyno told me it was ok to.:D

Ok.

*slaps Lapse*

Rhyno told me it was ok to.:D

<_<

so, you prefer to give out the punishment hey? ;)

<_<

so, you prefer to give out the punishment hey? ;)

Nope. I have a shota complex sometimes. I don´t like to give but to...
Em... I´m getting too personal so now, I´m gonna stop.

<_<

so, you prefer to give out the punishment hey? ;)

Yeah...she's kinky alright. Chocolate vanilla milkshake strawberry waffle sex. Yeah.

Yeah...she's kinky alright. Chocolate vanilla milkshake strawberry waffle sex. Yeah.

Look who´s talking. >.>

Look who´s talking. >.>

Never said I wasn't.

Never said I wasn't.

Yeah yeah.

Look who´s talking. >.>

Look who's having her fetishes revealed slowly and excruciatingly to a bunch of weird males on an online internet forum in a thread about penis snatching!

That is one of those things you don't expect to say every day... http://209.85.48.8/html/emoticons/unsure.gif

Look who's having her fetishes revealed slowly and excruciatingly to a bunch of weird males on an online internet forum in a thread about penis snatching!

That is one of those things you don't expect to say every day... http://209.85.48.8/html/emoticons/unsure.gif

Really? I mean, I guess not that specifically, but I wake up everyday knowing I'm going to say something fucking weird like "THREE THOUSAND PENISES!" or "Fuck Enviro, we're back to Styro! We should make a flier or something, with a picture of a guy raping Bambi."

Look who's having her fetishes revealed slowly and excruciatingly to a bunch of weird males on an online internet forum in a thread about penis snatching!

That is one of those things you don't expect to say every day... http://209.85.48.8/html/emoticons/unsure.gif


Gah. You make me sound like an evil succubus. I´m not.:(

Gah. You make me sound like an evil succubus. I´m not.:(

You're the good kind?

You're the good kind?

I´m a good girl. It´s all those people thinking I´m a vixen or something.

You're the good kind?

Lol

(what a pointless post)

Lol

(what a pointless post)

Lach-Land... I´m gonna fish-slap you for that. :eek: Tremble in fear of my might!!

Lol (what a pointless post)

I think once a thread has been 'jacked, nothing falls under the definition of "pointless" anymore.

Lach-Land... I´m gonna fish-slap you for that. :eek: Tremble in fear of my might!!

See, told ya :P

See, told ya :P

<.<

And you, Lapse, I´m gonna fish-slap you too. And you´re gonna love it.

Lach-Land... I´m gonna fish-slap you for that. :eek: Tremble in fear of my might!!

PLEASE NO! OH GOD NO!!! I BEG OF YOU!!!*falls to knees trembling*

Is there any easy way to gif-ify a flash video? I feel the topic of fish-slapping would benefit greatly from… illustration.

PLEASE NO! OH GOD NO!!! I BEG OF YOU!!!*falls to knees trembling*

Meh. I´m off to bed. I´m too tired. I´ll fish-slap you tomorrow. Buh-bye!:)

Is there any easy way to gif-ify a flash video? I feel the topic of fish-slapping would benefit greatly from… illustration.

YouTube it. There might be something along those lines.:D

Meh. I´m off to bed. I´m too tired. I´ll fish-slap you tomorrow. Buh-bye!:)

WHAT! FISH SLAP ME FIRST!!! I WANNA BE FISH SLAPPED!!!

Meh. I´m off to bed. I´m too tired.

You said that before too. :)

WHAT! FISH SLAP ME FIRST!!! I WANNA BE FISH SLAPPED!!!

O.x

You wanna be fish-slapped that bad? I will, but you have to tell me how badly you want to be slapped.

You said that before too. :)

Yeah, but you don´t let me go. You keep giving me fuel with your crazy comments.

Yeah, but you don´t let me go. You keep giving me fuel with your crazy comments.

*diabolical laughter*

*diabolical laughter*

I´m gonna lose all my stamina if I keep answering your posts. I need to be released!

I´m gonna lose all my stamina if I keep answering your posts. I need to be released!

*releases*

Meh. I´m off to bed. I´m too tired. I´ll fish-slap you tomorrow. Buh-bye!:)

WHAT! slapping for me :(

:P

WHAT! FISH SLAP ME FIRST!!! I WANNA BE FISH SLAPPED!!!

http://justgiving.typepad.com/justgivings_blog/images/fish.jpg
There. Happy?

Meh. I´m off to bed. I´m too tired. I´ll fish-slap you tomorrow. Buh-bye!:)

Great now i've got a night of Intense fear...:(

http://justgiving.typepad.com/justgivings_blog/images/fish.jpg
There. Happy?

that wasn't quite as fun as I hoped :(

that wasn't quite as fun as I hoped :(

Hey, I tried. I can boob-slap you but that would be too much.

Hey, I tried. I can boob-slap you but that would be too much.

put me up for one:D

put me up for one:D

Here you go. Good night!
http://www.members.aol.com/sker4NU/boob.gif
Say hello to Boobie McBoob!!

Boas noites, meus imbéciles!

Here you go. Good night!

http://www.members.aol.com/sker4NU/boob.gif
Say hello to Boobie McBoob!!

Boas noites, meus imbéciles!
umm what?

that was no way near as fun as i hoped...

umm what?

that was no way near as fun as i hoped...

It's completely disappeared now!!!

It's completely disappeared now!!!

what? the link doesn't work? oh you don't know what you're missing out on! best porn of my life!!!

what? the link doesn't work? oh you don't know what you're missing out on! best porn of my life!!!

oh, now I see it...

yeah... yeahh... that rally does it for me... :headbang:

oh, now I see it...

yeah... yeahh... that rally does it for me... :headbang:

lol.
i was trying to torment you.*rolls eyes*

lol.
i was trying to torment you.*rolls eyes*

oh, well.... uhhmm...

you smell like ugly <_<

oh, well.... uhhmm...

you smell like ugly <_<

ATLEAST MY FACE ISN'T SCREACHY!!!

ATLEAST MY FACE ISN'T SCREACHY!!!

SCREACHY IS BETTER THAN LOOKING LIKE THE BUM OF A DOG AFTER THE DOG SAT IN IT OWN POO AND THE POO WAS ALL RUNNY!

Oo, burn. :D

*highfives my posse*

Avada Kedavra!

Avada Kedavra!

Hovus Povus!

Expelliarmus!

*grabs both wands*

Wait, wands? :eek:

Expelliarmus!

*grabs both wands*

Wait, wands? :eek:

*turns into a duck*

"Quack quack quack"
(That is duck for bastard <_<)

Idea.

*aims at Andaras' groin*

Sectumsempra!

There, that didn't hurt a bit, now did it?

Five men, eh? That's quite a search party.

Or you are really gay. Either way.

:(

Stay with me in a room for 5 minutes. You´ll beg me to take your penis when I´m through with you.;)

:eek:

Like, almost a week, I would say.

It makes GREAT workplace conversation, though.
Some argument of eminent domain came up ....

SCREACHY IS BETTER THAN LOOKING LIKE THE BUM OF A DOG AFTER THE DOG SAT IN IT OWN POO AND THE POO WAS ALL RUNNY!

OH YEA!!! WELL YOU SMELL LIKE THE BUM OF A DOG AFTER THE DOG SAT IN IT OWN POO AND THE POO WAS ALL RUNNY AND THE DOG ATE CABBAGE AND EGGS AND WAS FEELING SICK SO IT WAS FARTING ALOT AND HAS NEVER HAD A BATH!

Oo, burn. :D

OH YEA!!! WELL YOU SMELL LIKE THE BUM OF A DOG AFTER THE DOG SAT IN IT OWN POO AND THE POO WAS ALL RUNNY AND THE DOG ATE CABBAGE AND EGGS AND WAS FEELING SICK SO IT WAS FARTING ALOT AND HAS NEVER HAD A BATH!
SAME AS ABOVE EXCEPT THE EGGS WERE VERY OLD, THE CABBAGE WAS REALLY FART BOMBS AND THE DOG HAD NOT ONLY NEVER HAD A BATH BUT IT REGULARLY WENT SWIMMING IN THE SHIT POOLS AT THE LOCAL SEWERAGE PLANT!!!

Really? I mean, I guess not that specifically, but I wake up everyday knowing I'm going to say something fucking weird like "THREE THOUSAND PENISES!" or "Fuck Enviro, we're back to Styro! We should make a flier or something, with a picture of a guy raping Bambi."

Sigworthy!

Stay with me in a room for 5 minutes. You´ll beg me to take your penis when I´m through with you.;):eek:
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised!