NationStates Jolt Archive

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080422/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_congo_democratic_witchcraft;_ylt=AohzH9J4y3_MGnCpxCN.h4ADW7oF

Lynchings in Congo as penis theft panic hits capital

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Reports of so-called penis snatching are not uncommon in West Africa, where belief in traditional religions and witchcraft remains widespread, and where ritual killings to obtain blood or body parts still occur.
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"But when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it's become tiny or that they've become impotent. To that I tell them, 'How do you know if you haven't gone home and tried it'," he said.
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"It's real. Just yesterday here, there was a man who was a victim. We saw. What was left was tiny," said 29-year-old Alain Kalala, who sells phone credits near a Kinshasa police station.



Would penis theft be covered by freedom of religion? Could penis thieves enjoy their culture in western world? Should they be allowed to run around shrinking other people's penises? Would 'We trust in penis sorcery' make a good motto for a country?

Bwahahahah pics or it didn't happen!:eek:

I demand that the people holding these Penii release them immediately.

Man: "Honestly darling my penis used to be much bigger, it must be sorcery"

Woman: "Yeah, right"

So that's how spammers get penis sizes to sell as enlargements!

Gives the term "shrinks" a whole new meaning...

I demand that the people holding these Penii release them immediately.

Hold on hold on, not so fast....

I demand that the people holding these Penii release them immediately.
... Our top story tonight: London was today swarmed by a rampaging mob of dismembered members, causing widespread panic among commuters and shoppers...

... Our top story tonight: London was today swarmed by a rampaging mob of dismembered members, causing widespread panic among commuters and shoppers...
Not dismembered...merely people with shrunk package!


Though, I genuinely have to wonder about the level of education in developing countries and whether normal foreign aid - be it money or food (more specialized projects are a different issue) - is actually worth it...

Yes we covered this in yesterdays thread about africa being ass backward

Whenever I see something like that - from ANY country, including America, with its "God told me to invade Iraq" President - I realize not only that I'm sane, but also that the nut-cases known as otherkin and as otakukin are par for the course in terms of sanity (or lack thereof).

My penis has Lo-Jack. :D

So that's what happened... I've always wondered.

I must steal LG Lo-Jack technology for my own penis!

LOL!!!


Girl: Is it in yet?
Guy: ITS NOT MY FAULT! A WITCH SHRUNK IT!

...I totaly read 'Congo' as 'Chicago'.
Man. That would've been maximum lulz.

Also, this is the second best headline ever.
Right after the NASCAR Nazi Orgy.

...I totaly read 'Congo' as 'Chicago'.
Man. That would've been maximum lulz.

Also, this is the second best headline ever.
Right after the NASCAR Nazi Orgy.

! Do what now?

Whenever I see something like that - from ANY country, including America, with its "God told me to invade Iraq" President - I realize not only that I'm sane, but also that the nut-cases known as otherkin and as otakukin are par for the course in terms of sanity (or lack thereof).

Otakukin?

people who believe they are somehow involved with/reincarnated from the souls of anime/video game characters. Japanese pop culture is literally their religion. And no, it's not a joke. They are the ultimate illustration of how utterly batshit insane the Internet has become.
- urbandictionary.com


Please gods tell me this is just an urban/internet myth?

! Do what now?

Search it on NSG. Or google/CNN.com it.
It was quite hilarious.

Search it on NSG. Or google/CNN.com it.
It was quite hilarious.

That was hilarious. I googled it. (My search terms get weirder and weirder every day...)

Oh no they are stealing human horn

Also, this is the second best headline ever.
Right after the NASCAR Nazi Orgy.

Second best? I'm flattered! :fluffle:

(Though...should've been the best :p)

Yeah, this is already covered in another Thread...

and, yes, Africa is Backwards as Hell...

Whodve Thought?:rolleyes:

I don't have one, so won't worry much..

I don't have one, so won't worry much..

:eek: What did you do with it!? lol

:eek: What did you do with it!? lol

Oy vey! I'm female, it's not required (fs) :D

Otakukin?



Please gods tell me this is just an urban/internet myth?

On behalf of otakus everywhere, I HOPE they're myths too! I don't need nuts screwing up the image of us otakus.

It haz spread into Nigeria!

http://en.afrik.com/article12556.html

Nigeria: mysterious loss of a Penis
Man and his pigeon blamed

Motor bike Taxi drivers from Gwagwalada, a small locality close to Abuja in the middle of Nigeria, have gathered to protest against a client they accuse of using pigeons to steal penises.

According to the national news agency - News Agency of Nigeria (NAN), the suspect’s last victim is a 35 year old Motor Bike Taxi driver named Musa Abubakar who dragged the suspect to the police station where he accused him of stealing his penis. The suspect denies all accusations.

Abubakar was very serious in his statement to the police when he declared that, Mohammed Ma’aji, his passenger had stolen his “family jewels” with the help of a white “spiritual pigeon” hidden in his bag. This spiritual pigeon, according to him, was wearing a small black tie around its neck.
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In a very serious tone, the Gwagwalada police chief said his men were trying to get the object of crime.

And even more seriously the local transport union of motoclyclists have threatened to take the case to court if the pigeon did not give back the missing penis to its owner in 24 hours.

:(

Pigeons steal penii?

Pigeons steal penii?
Nigerian spiritual pigeons steal penises....well known fact.

Nigerian spiritual pigeons steal penises....well known fact.
Honestly I have nothing to say about this thread... :headbang:

What a bunch of dicks! :mad:


:p

I have to wonder whether these cases are poorly attributed STDs or other diseases rather than figments of uneducated persons imagination.

Of course, waving magic wand or penis stealing pigeons would be lot cooler than any form of disease targeting penises. :p

Here's another link to the previous newsbit about penis stealing spiritual pigeons: http://layscience.net/?q=node/126

Jeffery the Psychopathic Penis Remover (whom they have simply nicknamed, "Oh fuck"), strikes again!