NationStates Jolt Archive

2 things:

Black people and white people evolved from different things (ie are not the same species...)

Cocaine is NOT addictive.

:headbang:

:( And I am related to this dumbass.

lolwut? I'd love to hear the reasoning behind the first statement. :|

NationStates -
Not your blog!

NationStates -
Not your blog!

......O_o we cant post this others might find amusing? since when did "General" mean "only religion, politics, and sexuality?"

......O_o we cant post this others might find amusing? since when did "General" mean "only religion, politics, and sexuality?"

Since ever. We're a bitter bunch.

Since ever. We're a bitter bunch.

So stop being bitter and post some dumbass things you've heard people say so that we may laugh.

May the mocking of fools and idiots begin!

Well, I was on an interstate train a few weeks back, and this guy insisted on telling me about how the Australian Aborigines arrived on the continent just a few years before the explorers.

From India, apparently.

Now this guy was one of those guys who insists on being taken seriously, and I got the strong impression he might hit me if I laughed at him or even tried to debate his theory.

So the moment he looked the other way, I put my Ipod on and closed my eyes. He started laying his speil on some other guy four seats away. :rolleyes:

Well it's not the dumbest thing I've ever heard, but it is the most recent:

NationStates -
Not your blog!

"[wasn't listening blah]...I know I wasn't your first lesbian kiss, ok?..."

As I'm waiting in line to get food. The guy serving and I stared at each other for a minute or two after that. Not dumb so much as random as hell. "If it weren't for my horse..." and all that.

oh, wait for this, I was very :rolleyes:

This woman was sitting at a nice dinner with me, my husband and my children, when she comments how "well behaved and intelligent" my girls are, and asks where they go to school, when I say I homeschool them she goes into this tirade about how she hates homeschoolers, and disagrees with it in every instance because (get this) they are so "close minded" and "always see things as black and white" she also goes on to tell me how she taught biology for 23 years in my local school district and how the homeschool kids she taught were "always very rude", later in the evening after I have successfully gotten her to shut up about that, she starts talking about how when she was a kid she had a cat rabbit baby......she says her tomcat and her bunny mated and made cat-rabbits. I explained to her how that was impossible, due to cats and rabbits not being able to mate, and she tells me I'm obviously "too uneducated" to know, when I explain that cats and rabbits are from a different family and therefore not close enough related to mate, she questions how I know who their parents were............then I explain Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species, she looks at me confused. Yeah, I really want to send my kids to a school district where you taught biology for 23 years!

:rolleyes:

My 6 year old (5 at the time) trying to smooth things over by explaining why animals from different families can't mate........but the lady was so pissed she got up and left.

also, earlier this spring I went to see the Sox in an exhibition game, and we sat next to these two vapid blondes........randomly in the 3rd inning, this chick says "douche is such a funny word! I love it! I need douche for my ass"

really loudly.

I almost died.

2 things:

Black people and white people evolved from different things (ie are not the same species...)

Cocaine is NOT addictive.

:headbang:

:( And I am related to this dumbass.

Depositing the room key into another person is prohibited.
Japanese hotel sign

also, earlier this spring I went to see the Sox in an exhibition game, and we sat next to these two vapid blondes........randomly in the 3rd inning, this chick says "douche is such a funny word! I love it! I need douche for my ass"

really loudly.

I almost died.

Her ass smelled that bad? :p

Her ass smelled that bad? :p
at one point she started singing Ice Ice Baby but couldn't get past the second line without forgetting the words (which is disturbing to me... not sure why)

earlier she commented to her "date" that she didn't like baseball because it had "too many beaners and not enough niggas"

when she left for her 20th beer I leaned over to him and said "I know you'll probably be getting laid, but it's cheaper and less headache to buy a hooker" and he agreed.

priceless.

oh, wait for this, I was very :rolleyes:

This woman was sitting at a nice dinner with me, my husband and my children, when she comments how "well behaved and intelligent" my girls are, and asks where they go to school, when I say I homeschool them she goes into this tirade about how she hates homeschoolers, and disagrees with it in every instance because (get this) they are so "close minded" and "always see things as black and white" she also goes on to tell me how she taught biology for 23 years in my local school district and how the homeschool kids she taught were "always very rude", later in the evening after I have successfully gotten her to shut up about that, she starts talking about how when she was a kid she had a cat rabbit baby......she says her tomcat and her bunny mated and made cat-rabbits. I explained to her how that was impossible, due to cats and rabbits not being able to mate, and she tells me I'm obviously "too uneducated" to know, when I explain that cats and rabbits are from a different family and therefore not close enough related to mate, she questions how I know who their parents were............then I explain Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species, she looks at me confused. Yeah, I really want to send my kids to a school district where you taught biology for 23 years!

:rolleyes:

My 6 year old (5 at the time) trying to smooth things over by explaining why animals from different families can't mate........but the lady was so pissed she got up and left.

That person would have been immediatly expelled from my home and never allowed to return, I'd never let that kind of idiocy around my children (but its likely I'd attempt to record the conversation so that I could secretly laugh at it every night).

Stupidest thing I heard in a long time that I can think of off the top of my head is Ron Paul's idea to let the states print thier own money.... you know it didn't work 250 years ago, it'd be even less likely to work now.

oh, wait for this, I was very :rolleyes:

This woman was sitting at a nice dinner with me, my husband and my children, when she comments how "well behaved and intelligent" my girls are, and asks where they go to school, when I say I homeschool them she goes into this tirade about how she hates homeschoolers, and disagrees with it in every instance because (get this) they are so "close minded" and "always see things as black and white" she also goes on to tell me how she taught biology for 23 years in my local school district and how the homeschool kids she taught were "always very rude", later in the evening after I have successfully gotten her to shut up about that, she starts talking about how when she was a kid she had a cat rabbit baby......she says her tomcat and her bunny mated and made cat-rabbits. I explained to her how that was impossible, due to cats and rabbits not being able to mate, and she tells me I'm obviously "too uneducated" to know, when I explain that cats and rabbits are from a different family and therefore not close enough related to mate, she questions how I know who their parents were............then I explain Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species, she looks at me confused. Yeah, I really want to send my kids to a school district where you taught biology for 23 years!

:rolleyes:

My 6 year old (5 at the time) trying to smooth things over by explaining why animals from different families can't mate........but the lady was so pissed she got up and left.

That's insane. To teach, she'd need a bachelor's in something, right ... and a teaching diploma. Perhaps not biology, but still you'd think at some time in her life she'd have to have had enough education to stop believing in cat-bunnies.

Which makes me think she was bullshitting you about ever having been a biology teacher. Which of course, doesn't make it any less stupid!


Hey, I remember a story you told here about some neighbour who drove off leaving her laptop on the outside of the car ... and when you tried to get it back to her she accused you of theft.

That has to rate as one of the stupidist things I've ever heard. How'd that turn out?

That person would have been immediatly expelled from my home and never allowed to return, I'd never let that kind of idiocy around my children (but its likely I'd attempt to record the conversation so that I could secretly laugh at it every night).
She was my husband's boss's wife. ;) We were at a restaurant. I couldn't exactly say much, but my husband gave me the nod after her tirade that I could turn off "polite Smunkee". I eventually got myself expelled from company dinners........can't let idiocy slide.

He works for another company now, they are less stupid.

My children found her entertaining.

It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
Bangkok Temple

That's insane. To teach, she'd need a bachelor's in something, right ... and a teaching diploma. Perhaps not biology, but still you'd think at some time in her life she'd have to have had enough education to stop believing in cat-bunnies.

Actually, at the lower grades they're so starved for teachers that often they will accept a bachelor's in anything for teaching. I student-taught under an 8th grade "english teacher" who actually majored in math. When I started talking about iambic pentameter she just looked at me funny.

Please flash after use.
Women's toilet stall sign in North Point, Hong Kong

Hey, I remember a story you told here about some neighbour who drove off leaving her laptop on the outside of the car ... and when you tried to get it back to her she accused you of theft.

That has to rate as one of the stupidist things I've ever heard. How'd that turn out?
We ended up going to court. The judge told her she was stupid, and dismissed her suit.

She has since apologized, she said she was having a bad day. Which I could understand, but after the cops told her I didn't break the law, waiting over the weekend to go to the courthouse and file a civil suit, well, it doesn't speak to a "bad day" as much as being a bitch.

She was my husband's boss's wife. ;) We were at a restaurant. I couldn't exactly say much, but my husband gave me the nod after her tirade that I could turn off "polite Smunkee". I eventually got myself expelled from company dinners........can't let idiocy slide.

He works for another company now, they are less stupid.

My children found her entertaining.

I'd have changed jobs too to be honest...


I know I havn't per say heard this, but I think it rates (http://users.livejournal.com/_allecto_/34718.html)

It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as a man.
Bangkok Temple

Do not attempt to stop chain with hands or genitals.

-Swedish chainsaw warning.

Stop. Drive sideways.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan

Wash and rape the sweet potato.
Gao Bingyi

haha, thats funny

Please flash after use.
Women's toilet stall sign in North Point, Hong Kong

You are either very well travelled, or you're just pulling these off some joke site.

You are either very well travelled, or you're just pulling these off some joke site.

The latter I'm sure.

Do not use product to trim hedges. - Warning on a riding lawn mower

Not for oral use - Bengay

"Since when have there been 50 states?!" - My sister

Caution: Hot - Hot drink cup



AND I JUST SAW THIS ONE AND DIED!

Allergy Information: May contain water! - on some generic bottled water here at work

Visitor should not be ironed--cooked--washed. Hotel has got every service for a visitor.
Vietnamese hotel rules

I'd have changed jobs too to be honest...


I know I havn't per say heard this, but I think it rates (http://users.livejournal.com/_allecto_/34718.html)

Ok, not going to bother reading the whole thing but after scanning:
The first scene opens in a war with Mal and Zoe. Zoe runs around calling Mal ‘sir’ and taking orders off him. I roll my eyes. Not a good start.
I was under the impression that when you are in the military you refer to those in command above you as "sir". I suppose that makes me chauvinist part of the man-o-centric male-ocracy.

All I can say is damn. Bitch be trippin' balls.

We ended up going to court. The judge told her she was stupid, and dismissed her suit.

Good.

She has since apologized, she said she was having a bad day. Which I could understand, but after the cops told her I didn't break the law, waiting over the weekend to go to the courthouse and file a civil suit, well, it doesn't speak to a "bad day" as much as being a bitch.

Yeah! Smile condescendingly at her and tell her she's sure to have a good day eventually.

(whisper) ... or NOT, bitch! (/whisper)

Drop your trousers here for best results.
Bangkok dry cleaners

Always Broke? Stop Living Payday To Payday
¬ magazine cover
(Yeah, if I could just stop living during those periods . . .)

Not really so stupid, more someone's little joke this one.

We have a brand of spices which is carried in several chains of supermarkets, "Fancy Spices." Despite the name, they're quite cheap.

Each spice has a short description of what it's like or what it's used for. For instance ground Cardomom reads "Cakes, pastries, bread and try it in COFFEE." For some reason it doesn't mention curry ... but it doesn't really matter. The spices sell themselves, with a wide range and being as I said, cheap.

But the first time I saw this, on the packet of Allspice, I just about died laughing. "So called because of the Politics of Colonialism."

Someone had a good day at the office that day ...

Ok, not going to bother reading the whole thing but after scanning:

I was under the impression that when you are in the military you refer to those in command above you as "sir". I suppose that makes me chauvinist part of the man-o-centric male-ocracy.

All I can say is damn. Bitch be trippin' balls.

There is a whole thread on that one :p.


Ok, I seem to be on a roll... I just had someone call ina nd ask me to play "Its Raining Men" as a request. This is a country western station...

There is a whole thread on that one :p.

Film criticism is tricky, though. Comes down to what you like and don't like, unless you're Leonard Maltin or someone.

I didn't find that one so bad.

Ok, I seem to be on a roll... I just had someone call ina nd ask me to play "Its Raining Men" as a request. This is a country western station...

DO IT! And dedicate it to the memory of Heath Ledger ... ;)

There is a whole thread on that one :p.


Ok, I seem to be on a roll... I just had someone call ina nd ask me to play "Its Raining Men" as a request. This is a country western station...

was it a guy who called?......might have be a poorly thought out gay joke.




Yay after being accused of blogging the thread is working fine ^_^

DO IT! And dedicate it to the memory of Heath Ledger ... ;)

I would but..

1. That song is not on thist stations database.
2. I'd probably loose my job...

was it a guy who called?......might have be a poorly thought out gay joke.




Yay after being accused of blogging the thread is working fine ^_^

Actually it was woman.

Film criticism is tricky, though. Comes down to what you like and don't like, unless you're Leonard Maltin or someone.


Yeah, but that blog post wasn't film criticism, it was "Joss and all his characters are evil raping bastards because Zoe (who is black) calls her current Captain and former CO (who is white) "Sir". Oh and the fact that she married a white man is icky."

Actually it was woman.

so much for my theory.



to keep on topic:

After the statement about blacks and whites not both being human another person I am related to claims that the former could be right because "you weren't there so you don't know"


for the record this person believes in ID (if not full blow creationism)

Always Broke? Stop Living Payday To Payday
¬ magazine cover
(Yeah, if I could just stop living during those periods . . .)

you know with a proper budget and self discipline can get out of that cycle. (although, I see how it sounds funny the way they said it)

I would but..

1. That song is not on thist stations database.

Argh, betrayed by technology! Could you sneak in a CD if you wanted to (apart from the getting sacked thing) ... or don't they even trust you that far?

2. I'd probably loose my job...

Yeah, I was only joking.

I spent half-an-hour in the studio of a community radio station, which might rate as the stupidest thing anyone NEVER heard. I was drunk and stoned and raving like a lunatic about anything anyone wanted to talk about ... except when the On Air light was on. Then I was mysteriously struck dumb.

Interveiwer asking questions, waving at me, giving my answers for me. And when it was my turn ... dead air. They didn't ask me back ....

Argh, betrayed by technology! Could you sneak in a CD if you wanted to (apart from the getting sacked thing) ... or don't they even trust you that far?


Heh.. I'm listening to Avenged Sevefold in the studio :p.

Cocaine is NOT addictive.

:headbang:

:( And I am related to this dumbass.

Maybe this person meant its not physically addictive? cause a lot of people don't know that cocaine is a psychological burden, unlike, say, heroin.

Remember TRA/MKULTRA/Skapedroe's claim on how the dinosaurs went extinct? Yeah.

Yeah, but that blog post wasn't film criticism, it was "Joss and all his characters are evil raping bastards because Zoe (who is black) calls her current Captain and former CO (who is white) "Sir". Oh and the fact that she married a white man is icky."

Fair enough. There is certainly dumb comment in there, self-contradictions and such.

But I think to qualify as "really, really dumb" a text or comment has to be unremittingly dumb. That's a pretty long blog entry (you made me read it all ya mongrel!) and DOES actually have legitimate comment in it. For instance, counting the number of times male vs female characters speak, or descriptions of the Companion's guild which made sense to me even though I've never seen Firefly.

Classmate of mine arguing that JFK was "thieving, political bastard of a man".

...fool.

Remember TRA/MKULTRA/Skapedroe's claim on how the dinosaurs went extinct? Yeah.

Oh, well if we're going to start in "dumbest things you've ever heard ON NSG" this thread is going to hit the post limit~!

Maybe this person meant its not physically addictive? cause a lot of people don't know that cocaine is a psychological burden, unlike, say, heroin.

I honestly doubt his ability to understand that there are 2 types of addiction.

Then again he sits and listens to a recording of charles manson....and I just got hit by a big filling of deja vu....

Oh, well if we're going to start in "dumbest things you've ever heard ON NSG" this thread is going to hit the post limit~!

.....never gave a limit on where you had to hear it from.

I once heard a story about Nasa launching mice into orbit and cutting off there heads to see how a Guillotine worked in zero-gravity.

I don't know if its true, but that one's always at the top of my stupidity list. its waste like that that makes people hate the space program(10000 dollars a pound to launch those poor mice).:mad:

2 things:

Black people and white people evolved from different things (ie are not the same species...)Haha. I remember I was talking to someone about how the first humans migrated out of Africa, and she said "wait, humans came from Africa? I have never heard this theory." So I asked her where she thought humans came from, and she said "I thought humans came from everywhere." What the hell? Some people disturb me. They go through their whole lives without ever thinking about anything. The person I was talking to wasn't even a kid like I am, she was 40 something.

Haha. I remember I was talking to someone about how the first humans migrated out of Africa, and she said "wait, humans came from Africa? I have never heard this theory." So I asked her where she thought humans came from, and she said "I thought humans came from everywhere." What the hell? Some people disturb me. They go through their whole lives without ever thinking about anything. The person I was talking to wasn't even a kid like I am, she was 40 something.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNC117UYsHs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNC117UYsHsThat was hilarious, thanks for posting it.

Haha. I remember I was talking to someone about how the first humans migrated out of Africa, and she said "wait, humans came from Africa? I have never heard this theory." So I asked her where she thought humans came from, and she said "I thought humans came from everywhere." What the hell? Some people disturb me. They go through their whole lives without ever thinking about anything. The person I was talking to wasn't even a kid like I am, she was 40 something.

Well actually there is a theory that hypothesizes that humans evolved in several locations around the world.

This theory has fallen out of favor among scientists, though.

The Pope meeting with a few sex abuse victims shows great openess and it closes the door on this chapter....

"I don't think better is a word. I think it's more good"

Remember TRA/MKULTRA/Skapedroe's claim on how the dinosaurs went extinct? Yeah.

You made my day.

You made my day.

Could someone please link to this? I always hear it talked about but I've never seen the actual post. (A pity, too, since my original PIcaRDMPCia account was actually around in the tail end of his days on NSG.)

Well actually there is a theory that hypothesizes that humans evolved in several locations around the world.

This theory has fallen out of favor among scientists, though.

I would imagine so given that the apes we're most closely related to only come from Africa. And what are the odds of several species evolving exactly the same in two areas? One species would eventually have to interbreed and override the others to produce humans...

Since ever. We're a bitter bunch.

Aye, this is a Pennsylvanian forum.

I would imagine so given that the apes we're most closely related to only come from Africa. And what are the odds of several species evolving exactly the same in two areas? One species would eventually have to interbreed and override the others to produce humans...

It is ridiculous. If anyone doubts it, they can look at the genetic evidence which spells it out point blank.

It is ridiculous. If anyone doubts it, they can look at the genetic evidence which spells it out point blank.

100%?

It is ridiculous. If anyone doubts it, they can look at the genetic evidence which spells it out point blank.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiregional_evolution

100%?
Of course not. Nothing in science ever is.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiregional_evolution
Right there in the criticisms it's pointed out why it's a faulty hypothesis.

Of course not. Nothing in science ever is.

So it's only a theory?

oh, wait for this, I was very :rolleyes:

This woman was sitting at a nice dinner with me, my husband and my children, when she comments how "well behaved and intelligent" my girls are, and asks where they go to school, when I say I homeschool them she goes into this tirade about how she hates homeschoolers, and disagrees with it in every instance because (get this) they are so "close minded" and "always see things as black and white" she also goes on to tell me how she taught biology for 23 years in my local school district and how the homeschool kids she taught were "always very rude", later in the evening after I have successfully gotten her to shut up about that, she starts talking about how when she was a kid she had a cat rabbit baby......she says her tomcat and her bunny mated and made cat-rabbits. I explained to her how that was impossible, due to cats and rabbits not being able to mate, and she tells me I'm obviously "too uneducated" to know, when I explain that cats and rabbits are from a different family and therefore not close enough related to mate, she questions how I know who their parents were............then I explain Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species, she looks at me confused. Yeah, I really want to send my kids to a school district where you taught biology for 23 years!

:rolleyes:

My 6 year old (5 at the time) trying to smooth things over by explaining why animals from different families can't mate........but the lady was so pissed she got up and left.

And you actually invited this fool into your house?

So it's only a theory?

Oh goodness, I've triggered a Ruffy sarcasm attack.

*Kyronea flees.

Of course not. Nothing in science ever is.

Right there in the criticisms it's pointed out why it's a faulty hypothesis.
But there are still many reasons for a person to believe that it is true. It does seem like it is unlikely to be true but I would not call someone who supported it dumb.

Oh goodness, I've triggered a Ruffy sarcasm attack.

*Kyronea flees.

and here i was going to put down people who take Ruffy seriously as being some of the dumbest out there... i've certainly learned my lesson in regard to his posts :p

Oh goodness, I've triggered a Ruffy sarcasm attack.

*Kyronea flees.

Bah! You were supposed to say "yes" and then I would say "So, like religion?" to which you would reply "Bah!" or ":rolleyes:"!

and here i was going to put down people who take Ruffy seriously as being some of the dumbest out there... i've certainly learned my lesson in regard to his posts :p

I bet you even have some scars.

But there are still many reasons for a person to believe that it is true. It does seem like it is unlikely to be true but I would not call someone who supported it dumb.

Neither would I. I said the idea was ridiculous; I made no mention of the person believing the idea.

I bet you even have some scars.

oh yes, i now have to read everything you put down thrice as i don't want to end up looking like a dumbass. YOU did that to me!

Classmate of mine arguing that JFK was "thieving, political bastard of a man".

...fool.

Well, there was the Cuban Missile Crisis...it's typically not very wise to threaten nuclear war, and such threats are usually rather bad news...

Neither would I. I said the idea was ridiculous; I made no mention of the person believing the idea. I don't call it ridiculous either. Or "The Dumbest Thing I ever Heard... again"

Well, there was the Cuban Missile Crisis...it's typically not very wise to threaten nuclear war, and such threats are usually rather bad news...

i suppose we coulda just let the Soviets put those missiles in Cuba... thankfully JFK didn't cave in.

i suppose we coulda just let the Soviets put those missiles in Cuba... thankfully JFK didn't cave in.

Well, working out an agreement so that they'll stop putting missiles in Cuba and threatening nuclear war are a bit different. I don't think he needed to threaten nuclear war to get the Soviets to take their missiles out. And there was always the chance that the Soviets would refuse to remove the missiles and instead decide to start bombing us first... that kind of risk is a bit much, IMO. Otherwise, I have a somewhat favorable opinion of JFK...

Well, working out an agreement so that they'll stop putting missiles in Cuba and threatening nuclear war are a bit different. I don't think he needed to threaten nuclear war to get the Soviets to take their missiles out. And there was always the chance that the Soviets would refuse to remove the missiles and instead decide to start bombing us first... that kind of risk is a bit much, IMO. Otherwise, I have a somewhat favorable opinion of JFK...

he did origionally simply blockade the island to keep them from bringing in the weapons. i'd consider that to be a need escalation, should the Soviets wanted to continue that escalation with another move... luckily no one was willing to commit suicide, in the end negotiation did win out didn't it? We are all still alive after all. :p

I remember being rebutted with an argument that goes like this:

Hydrogen fuel cell tanks explode in hydrogen bomb fashion.


Does this count? :D

I was at work the other week (lifeguard) and this woman came up to me. She was pretty worried, and had about 3 kids tailing her, one just about in tears. Anyway, she comes up to me and says "Did you realise there is a sting ray over there in the swimming area? My daughter almost got stung by it!" so, after glancing at the other lifguard (who could hardly avoid laughing) I dollowed the woman over to where her daughter had been nearly stung by a so called stingray. Her husband is there telling everyone to get back from the supposed creature, and panicing people. I wander over to it, right next to it, pick it up, and show the stupid woman it is just a bit of pool liner that fell off. Now, I am very curious as to how she concluded that it was a sting ray seeing that it did not look vaguely like a sting ray. Even more confusing is the fact that we were in a pool.

Gah... stupid peopel should not be allowed to breed... made me climb down from the tower, and get my arm wet...

I was at work the other week (lifeguard) and this woman came up to me. She was pretty worried, and had about 3 kids tailing her, one just about in tears. Anyway, she comes up to me and says "Did you realise there is a sting ray over there in the swimming area? My daughter almost got stung by it!" so, after glancing at the other lifguard (who could hardly avoid laughing) I dollowed the woman over to where her daughter had been nearly stung by a so called stingray. Her husband is there telling everyone to get back from the supposed creature, and panicing people. I wander over to it, right next to it, pick it up, and show the stupid woman it is just a bit of pool liner that fell off. Now, I am very curious as to how she concluded that it was a sting ray seeing that it did not look vaguely like a sting ray. Even more confusing is the fact that we were in a pool.

Gah... stupid peopel should not be allowed to breed... made me climb down from the tower, and get my arm wet...

Did not know you were a lifeguard. Now, I have some stupid stories from lifeguarding, but no good stupid things people said, just stupid shyte they did.

Did not know you were a lifeguard. Now, I have some stupid stories from lifeguarding, but no good stupid things people said, just stupid shyte they did.

Oh yeah, plenty of stupid stories... DAMMIT PEOPLE! IF WE TELL YOU NOT TO DO SOMETHING, IT MEANS STOP DOING IT... I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE WATCHING THEM, DON'T LET YOUR DAMN 12 MONTH OLD GO IN THE POOL BY THEMSELVES!

And you actually invited this fool into your house?

No, she didn't.

That person would have been immediatly expelled from my home and never allowed to return
*snip by NH*

She was my husband's boss's wife. ;) We were at a restaurant.
*snip by NH*

Repeat after me: D'oh!

i suppose we coulda just let the Soviets put those missiles in Cuba

Indeed you could have. As one of the people of the rest of the world whose life was endangered by that meaningless dick-waving, I was less than impressed.

... thankfully JFK didn't cave in.

Did a bang-up job with the Bay of Pigs and Vietnam too!

Indeed you could have. As one of the people of the rest of the world whose life was endangered by that meaningless dick-waving, I was less than impressed.
Didn't he actually trigger the crisis by deploying American missiles in Turkey? :D

In my youth I used to do a it of umm wheeling and dealing (mostly gold, jewrly etc..), one day a friend in the business come to me with a grand plan to make shit loads of money.

He told me of a silver coloured metal that when acid tested reacted as gold, his idea was that we could buy a load of this metal, chop it up and sell it as scrap gold, the name of the metal? Platinum!

NationStates -
Not your blog!

Stupidest thing I've heard today.

...Not sure how no one's said this yet...

Stupidest thing I've heard today.

...Not sure how no one's said this yet...

psst... http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13626077&postcount=9

Could someone please link to this? I always hear it talked about but I've never seen the actual post. (A pity, too, since my original PIcaRDMPCia account was actually around in the tail end of his days on NSG.)

Tried searching, but I couldn't find it. The post may very well have been deleted.

The gist was that Bush's ancestors fired a space laser into a crystal in the center of the Earth, killing the dinosaurs.

I remember being rebutted with an argument that goes like this:

Hydrogen fuel cell tanks explode in hydrogen bomb fashion.


Does this count? :D

Yes, yes it does.

2 things:

Black people and white people evolved from different things (ie are not the same species...)

Cocaine is NOT addictive.

:headbang:

:( And I am related to this dumbass.

Well, at least he's not a Creationist.
:P

Oh yeah, plenty of stupid stories... DAMMIT PEOPLE! IF WE TELL YOU NOT TO DO SOMETHING, IT MEANS STOP DOING IT... I DON'T CARE IF YOU ARE WATCHING THEM, DON'T LET YOUR DAMN 12 MONTH OLD GO IN THE POOL BY THEMSELVES!

Dumbest story ever for me, and I was sad that I was not working this day and only got to hear about it:

The pool I worked at had a policy that personal flotation devices may be used in the deep end at the lifeguard's discretion. IE: 12-year-old with a noodle, cool, but 5-year-old with a tube that's too big for him and not being watched, no. Well a lifeguard noticed a situation like the latter and told the kid he couldn't be in the deep end. The kid was black, and this is important: his mother pitched an ever-loving fit and said that the policy was only there so the lifeguards could discriminate against black people and that the lifeguard was being racist. The guard did the responsible thing and threw the problem at the pool manager, a white woman (who, for the record, is married with children to a black man). The woman was still throwing a fit at the manager and calling her a racist, and when told that the manager was married to a black man the woman said that she was still racist and had issues with her husband and was taking them out on the people at the pool. She was removed from the pool by the police yelling obscenities and encouraging her kids to yell obscenities, and asked not to come back.

Incidentally, the policy is now no personal flotation devices in the deep end. Which people bitch about to no end, but whatever. Better'an getting yelled at for being a racist.

I just got off the phone with the company I am ordering carpet from

"you realize that you wanted 200 square feet of pink right?"
"yes"
"but it's pink"
"yes"
"you do realize it's pink?"
"yes"
"you want 200 square feet of pink carpet?"
"is there a problem?"
"no, I just, it's pink"
"it's for my daughter"
"she wants pink?"
"yes"
"and you're just going to let her get pink?"
"yes"
"but it's pink"
"yes"
"you are just going to let her have pink carpet, even though the rest of the house is grey?"
"yes"
"why?"
"because she chooses what she spends her money on"
"but, it's PINK"
"I'm aware of that, I'm really busy can you just say pink like 50 more times and then we can move on?"

I just got off the phone with the company I am ordering carpet from

"you realize that you wanted 200 square feet of pink right?"
"yes"
"but it's pink"
"yes"
"you do realize it's pink?"
"yes"
"you want 200 square feet of pink carpet?"
"is there a problem?"
"no, I just, it's pink"
"it's for my daughter"
"she wants pink?"
"yes"
"and you're just going to let her get pink?"
"yes"
"but it's pink"
"yes"
"you are just going to let her have pink carpet, even though the rest of the house is grey?"
"yes"
"why?"
"because she chooses what she spends her money on"
"but, it's PINK"
"I'm aware of that, I'm really busy can you just say pink like 50 more times and then we can move on?"

LOL

I just got off the phone with the company I am ordering carpet from

"you realize that you wanted 200 square feet of pink right?"
"yes"
"but it's pink"
"yes"
"you do realize it's pink?"
"yes"
"you want 200 square feet of pink carpet?"
"is there a problem?"
"no, I just, it's pink"
"it's for my daughter"
"she wants pink?"
"yes"
"and you're just going to let her get pink?"
"yes"
"but it's pink"
"yes"
"you are just going to let her have pink carpet, even though the rest of the house is grey?"
"yes"
"why?"
"because she chooses what she spends her money on"
"but, it's PINK"
"I'm aware of that, I'm really busy can you just say pink like 50 more times and then we can move on?"

I would've said the same thing. PINK, won't that stand out a bit, and its...pink?

Also, 200 hundred square feet! That much pink could very well destroy your house.

"No! There were NO dinosaurs!" - Distant relative, Hong Kong.

"Yes. Tried to send fax but wouldn't go, paper come back out again" - Hotel receptionist, Cairo.

"We want to produce some educational comics for the blind" - Close relative, Java.

"How do you know the Egyptians didn't have helicopters?" - Close relative, Abydos.

I once had a conversation in school that went like this:

Girl: "What country are you doing your project on?"

Me: "Greece"

Girl: "Oh, that's cool. I heard that it's called Greece because years ago there was a giant oil spill over there."

Me: "... Greece has existed as a nation for over 3,000 years."

Girl: "Didn't they have oil back then?"

Me: "......."

Stupidest thing I've heard today.

...Not sure how no one's said this yet...

Ah, hashgroper! You have het to year the hound of one sand clapping.

Click Stand;13627882']I would've said the same thing. PINK, won't that stand out a bit, and its...pink?

Also, 200 hundred square feet! That much pink could very well destroy your house.
it's just enough for her bedroom and closet.

her door is shut mostly always anyway, and she's paying for it, who am I to argue?:p

My friend is convinced that you get AIDS from sperm mixing with faeces in unprotected sex, which is strange considering that he is actually very clever.

I'm not convinced coke is addictive, unless one consumes an obscene amount.

However, I would like to offer two classics from a fuckwit on my floor at university;

"shyness os rudeness"
"Poshspice is a modern day hero"

No, she didn't.



Repeat after me: D'oh!

D'OH!

My boss is always good for a slew of malapropisms.

"You're just digging a hole in your own grave."

"pregnant female lady" (as opposed to...?)

"instituting mandatory ethnical training" (turns out, he meant ethical, but for a couple of days there I was expecting to be given a sombrero and taught to appreciate the finer points of malt liquor and hip-hop.)

"one thing you fail to forget..." (does this mean I remembered)

Outside I my immediate sphere of vision, there is of course, the dumb celebrity: Jeaneane Garafolo, explaining why her being a celebrity makes her an expert on any number of diverse topics: "Now that I'm sober, I watch a lot of news."

Outside I my immediate sphere of vision, there is of course, the dumb celebrity: Jeaneane Garafolo, explaining why her being a celebrity makes her an expert on any number of diverse topics: "Now that I'm sober, I watch a lot of news."

I'm officially stealing that line and placing it in my black book of phrases to make people say "huh?".

"pregnant female lady" (as opposed to...?)

Pregnant female streetwalkers?

"It's Adam & EVE not Adam & STEVE!"

"Activist judges."

"People of color."

SPORTSCASTER: "Well, if you can't score more points than the other team, you're not going to win any games" (and similarly obvious crap).

"I wish I had summers off like you teachers."

Alecto's hyperfeminist Firefly review.

"Earth Liberation Front"

"Moral Majority"

Can I just list a bunch of dumb quotes from G.W. Bush and Dan Quayle? That could fill pages. It might deserve its own thread.

oh, wait for this, I was very :rolleyes:

This woman was sitting at a nice dinner with me, my husband and my children, when she comments how "well behaved and intelligent" my girls are, and asks where they go to school, when I say I homeschool them she goes into this tirade about how she hates homeschoolers, and disagrees with it in every instance because (get this) they are so "close minded" and "always see things as black and white" she also goes on to tell me how she taught biology for 23 years in my local school district and how the homeschool kids she taught were "always very rude", later in the evening after I have successfully gotten her to shut up about that, she starts talking about how when she was a kid she had a cat rabbit baby......she says her tomcat and her bunny mated and made cat-rabbits. I explained to her how that was impossible, due to cats and rabbits not being able to mate, and she tells me I'm obviously "too uneducated" to know, when I explain that cats and rabbits are from a different family and therefore not close enough related to mate, she questions how I know who their parents were............then I explain Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species, she looks at me confused. Yeah, I really want to send my kids to a school district where you taught biology for 23 years!

:rolleyes:

My 6 year old (5 at the time) trying to smooth things over by explaining why animals from different families can't mate........but the lady was so pissed she got up and left.

i am fascinated by this story. do you think she really believed that she had a cabbit? did she never ever question the validity of the story? did her baby bunny MEOW?

Do not use product to trim hedges, Hulk - Warning on a riding lawn mower

Fixed :)
You are either very well travelled, or you're just pulling these off some joke site.
Try engrish.com - a true must see for every English speaker. :)

i am fascinated by this story. do you think she really believed that she had a cabbit? did she never ever question the validity of the story? did her baby bunny MEOW?

she really thought she had one, at one point the client we were dining with claimed he also had one as a child......I should have dropped it but I have very little self control sometimes.

I'm sure to this day she thinks she was the owner of a litter or cabbits and that I was just a bitch who didn't know anything.

"Bill Clinton was a president?!" My sister, who was born into a very political family.

"Are you seriously afraid of lightning?" today, in third bell, when there was a storm and I was freaking out (for those not in the know, I have a phobia of lightning).

she really thought she had one, at one point the client we were dining with claimed he also had one as a child......I should have dropped it but I have very little self control sometimes.

I'm sure to this day she thinks she was the owner of a litter or cabbits and that I was just a bitch who didn't know anything.

that is so bizarre.

its funny that a person who was told something stupid when she was a kid--either that the new baby bunnies were cabbits or that they had had cabbits in the past and over time she came to remember these non existent cabbits--has never thought the story through and realized that it cant possibly be true.

even your kid knew it couldnt possibly be true!

i dont think i could have left the story alone either. its just too bizarre a thing to believe.

That Mexicans are lazy. They´re not, and I know.

That Cubans are inherently evil because of their Communist government. What a bunch of crap!

So earlier today I heard a nut claim that there's an invisible guy in the sky who could do anything. All of his claims could either be accoutned for by physics or obviously proven false, yet he refuses to change his claim.

I don't call it ridiculous either. Or "The Dumbest Thing I ever Heard... again"

Thankfully, the "you've" in the thread title is a generic "you" and not "Sparkelle". If it were, then it would matter that you don't call multiregional human evolution ridiculous. However, the person so stating DOES think exactly that. Therefore, that post is just as legitimate as yours. In fact, more legitimate, since you're just being contrarian as opposed to posting things you think are dumb.

I just got off the phone with the company I am ordering carpet from

"you realize that you wanted 200 square feet of pink right?"
"yes"
"but it's pink"
"yes"
"you do realize it's pink?"
"yes"
"you want 200 square feet of pink carpet?"
"is there a problem?"
"no, I just, it's pink"
"it's for my daughter"
"she wants pink?"
"yes"
"and you're just going to let her get pink?"
"yes"
"but it's pink"
"yes"
"you are just going to let her have pink carpet, even though the rest of the house is grey?"
"yes"
"why?"
"because she chooses what she spends her money on"
"but, it's PINK"
"I'm aware of that, I'm really busy can you just say pink like 50 more times and then we can move on?"

Oh, Smunkee, I don't know what it is, but you seem to attract this kind of raving nutter. I feel badly for you, but I can't deny that you must be at least somewhat grateful for the amusement.

oh, also, a friend's teen daughter called me a few days back to check out something her friend told her, which was if you don't eat or drink anything while you are on your period it won't be as heavy.......

I don't even know how someone who knew anything about the female body would think that made sense.

I explained to the girl that whatever is in her uterus has been there at least 25 days and not eating or drinking anything for a week will not only make her sick, like ER I'm gonna die sick, but that it won't change a thing about how much baby cushion* she expels. I then advised her to talk to her mom about birth control if she is worried about her period being too heavy.


*this is my daughter's term for menstrual stuff.....it's baby cushion, no baby? don't need to cushion it.

So earlier today I heard a nut claim that there's an invisible guy in the sky who could do anything. All of his claims could either be accoutned for by physics or obviously proven false, yet he refuses to change his claim.

Seriously? That's the best God-mockery you've got?

Seriously? That's the best God-mockery you've got?

Only if you limit to quotes from today... which is still a match for the other stuff posted in this topic.

oh, also, a friend's teen daughter called me a few days back to check out something her friend told her, which was if you don't eat or drink anything while you are on your period it won't be as heavy.......

I don't even know how someone who knew anything about the female body would think that made sense.

I explained to the girl that whatever is in her uterus has been there at least 25 days and not eating or drinking anything for a week will not only make her sick, like ER I'm gonna die sick, but that it won't change a thing about how much baby cushion* she expels. I then advised her to talk to her mom about birth control if she is worried about her period being too heavy.


*this is my daughter's term for menstrual stuff.....it's baby cushion, no baby? don't need to cushion it.


my aunt taught her 5 daughters that it was ... bad....to bathe during their periods. they werent even allowed to wash their hair in the sink.

im not sure what was supposed to happen if they did but im pretty sure they never tested it.

my aunt taught her 5 daughters that it was ... bad....to bathe during their periods. they werent even allowed to wash their hair in the sink.

im not sure what was supposed to happen if they did but im pretty sure they never tested it.

I was told not to bathe while I was pregnant or the water would float up my hoo-ha and drown the baby.

I laughed my ass off.

The same person told me that if I lifted my hands over my head that it would wrap the baby's umbilical chord around their neck........because apparently it's attached to my elbow?! :rolleyes:

Only if you limit to quotes from today... which is still a match for the other stuff posted in this topic.

I was just hoping we might once have a thread that DIDN'T involve a rabid-atheist vs. rabid fundamentalist argument. Silly me.

I was told not to bathe while I was pregnant or the water would float up my hoo-ha and drown the baby.

I laughed my ass off.

The same person told me that if I lifted my hands over my head that it would wrap the baby's umbilical chord around their neck........because apparently it's attached to my elbow?! :rolleyes:

I love it when you talk dirty.

I love it when you talk dirty.

it's the preferred terminology of the woman giving me this "advice"

she's also told my child that she could get "the herpes" from the public bathroom....... took me years to explain to my child that "the herpes" are not living on the toilet waiting to eat her butt.

it's the preferred terminology of the woman giving me this "advice"

she's also told my child that she could get "the herpes" from the public bathroom....... took me years to explain to my child that "the herpes" are not living on the toilet waiting to eat her butt.

*FACEPALM*

Not hard enough...

:headbang:

...aah, much better.

I was told not to bathe while I was pregnant or the water would float up my hoo-ha and drown the baby.

I laughed my ass off.

The same person told me that if I lifted my hands over my head that it would wrap the baby's umbilical chord around their neck........because apparently it's attached to my elbow?! :rolleyes:

:eek: It isn't?!? :D

"There's no such thing as a stupid question." The dumbest thing I have ever heard in my entire life. It's like saying, "There's no such thing as a stupid person." Dumb.

Followed by the ever fond memory of a young girl who asked me if she might be pregnant because she... um... swallowed... stuff. Which goes to show that there are stupid people who ask stupid questions and they are sexually active, but not necessarily able to reprodruce unless they accidentally get it right.

"I still had checks in my checkbook, so I thought I must still have money in my account."

The Atlantian Islands once told me he wasn't a racist OR a fascist.

I know right?

"I still had checks in my checkbook, so I thought I must still have money in my account."
I've actually heard that from someone who was 100% serious.

also

"I checked the website and the bank said I had $100"

I tried to explain that they should have checked that against the list of checks/debits they had to make sure it was true........they had no list.

they hadn't reconciled their checkbook........ever.......in 13 years. I no longer wondered why they were broke, they were paying out $500 or more each month in overdraft fees.

When attempting to return a defective external hard drive: "It's been too long for you to return that because it's not a computer component it's part of a computer."

My Art Teacher: Leonardo painted the Mona Lisa of course.

Girl in my art class: I thought it was Da Vinci?

and

"I'm going to introduce new taxes and stimulate the economy"
- Hilary Clinton.

When attempting to return a defective external hard drive: "It's been too long for you to return that because it's not a computer component it's part of a computer."

This would have been amusing, had the old drive not conked out with the entire first season of the new Doctor Who on it. And if the idiots in the computer section hadn't all been such asshats.

my aunt taught her 5 daughters that it was ... bad....to bathe during their periods. they werent even allowed to wash their hair in the sink.

im not sure what was supposed to happen if they did but im pretty sure they never tested it.

Hmm...that sounds like one of the laws that they rejected when writing Leviticus.

A girl from my junior high liked to always answer with: "If you have to ask, you'll never know." Really, that makes no sense.

There was also a girl in my first grade class who used to insult people and then tack on "and your whole generation" to the insult to make it worse. She really looked like an idiot to the two of us in the class who knew what that word meant, because she was a part of our generation.

A girl from my junior high liked to always answer with: "If you have to ask, you'll never know." Really, that makes no sense.

There was also a girl in my first grade class who used to insult people and then tack on "and your whole generation" to the insult to make it worse. She really looked like an idiot to the two of us in the class who knew what that word meant, because she was a part of our generation.
Well, "when in Rome..."

Try engrish.com - a true must see for every English speaker. :)

Meh, that stuff doesn't seem as funny as it used to. Thanks though.

Sure ... last week i had a pic up of the Tree Man, and this delivery guy comes in and can't believe it was HPV that did it to him.
I said "ayup, apparently". He asked if there was a cure, and i said the doctor mentioned on the article thought some high doses of vitamin A might do it. Then he says, "oh yeah. If you take enough vitamin C you can cure AIDS."
He wasn't saying it jokingly. He drove off a little bit later.

Last Wednesday at my staff meeting, my coworker was asked to pick a number between 1 and 6.

She picked 8.

I haven't laughed that hard in a while.

I heard St. Anselm's Ontological Argument yesterday for the first time in a few months. Oh how I laughed and laughed at the fact that people still take it seriously.

I heard St. Anselm's Ontological Argument yesterday for the first time in a few months. Oh how I laughed and laughed at the fact that people still take it seriously.

Say no more, we all clearly know what "St. Anselm's Ontological Argument" is . . .

"There's no such thing as a stupid question." The dumbest thing I have ever heard in my entire life. It's like saying, "There's no such thing as a stupid person." Dumb.

"And remember kids, there's no stupid questions, just stupid people" - Mr.Garison, South Park
;)


Someone calling me at work 5 mins ago:
she:Yes, hello ? I just talked to this guy working for you, could you put me through ?
me: sure, who did you talk to?
she: this guy!, just put me through
me: we have 350 employees, could you be a bit more specific?
she: hes a guy!
me: mam, we have 350 people, about 2/3 men, i cant call all 200 of them, now can i?
she: you <censored>, put me through <censored>
me: i cant connect you to someone if i dont know who to connect you too, mam
she: <string of obscenities> <ends connection>

Seriously, people, remember names damnit !

"And remember kids, there's no stupid questions, just stupid people" - Mr.Garison, South Park
;)


Someone calling me at work 5 mins ago:
she:Yes, hello ? I just talked to this guy working for you, could you put me through ?
me: sure, who did you talk to?
she: this guy!, just put me through
me: we have 350 employees, could you be a bit more specific?
she: hes a guy!
me: mam, we have 350 people, about 2/3 men, i cant call all 200 of them, now can i?
she: you <censored>, put me through <censored>
me: i cant connect you to someone if i dont know who to connect you too, mam
she: <string of obscenities> <ends connection>

Seriously, people, remember names damnit !

Ah, the joys of customer service. I've never seen a field that could make someone lose all faith in humanity in 1 day's work. It seems that only the lowest common denominator ever calls, doesn't it? BTW, is there a thread about ridiculous office policies or anything like that around?

Ah, the joys of customer service. I've never seen a field that could make someone lose all faith in humanity in 1 day's work. It seems that only the lowest common denominator ever calls, doesn't it? BTW, is there a thread about ridiculous office policies or anything like that around?

Isn't it grand ?...

What anoys me most is the people who speak 2 words of dutch, and expect me to understand then perfectly.

The Dumbest Thing I've Ever Heard (http://www.expelledthemovie.com)

Something really dumb that I have heard recently

"Here's a good one - Helen Clark, former prime minister of New Zealand: her opponents have observed that in the event of a nuclear war, the two things that will emerge from the rubble are the cockroaches and Helen Clark." - Hillary Rodham Clinton

The Dumbest Thing I've Ever Heard (http://www.expelledthemovie.com)

That flash intro made me laugh so hard and I couldn't stop.

The Dumbest Thing I've Ever Heard (http://www.expelledthemovie.com)

The commercial for that movie is so mother fucking stupid it makes me want to hit Ben Stein with a baseball bat. I used to like that guy!

Black people and white people evolved from different things (ie are not the same species...)


I once saw a thread about the origin of different races on a white nationalist forum. A few people there theorized that white people came from space and/or are descendants of some gods, and black people came into existence, when some mentally disturbed white people had sex with apes.

Also, the idea that white people and other races are entirely different species was also somewhat popular.

(On why I should not use a French grip for fencing): "France is so lame. They needed us (the United States) the save them. Did you know, that they have never, in all their history, won a major engagement?"

"Do you know what I hate about vegetarians? They are eating all the plants. They are causing global warming!"

"Mexicans have good genetics for some things...like making pottery."

"I don't have anything against black people, I just do not like black behavior."

(On why women should have separate gym hours): "Men don't care, and women do."

All of them were said by separate people, all of them were said in full earnestness.

A girl from my junior high liked to always answer with: "If you have to ask, you'll never know." Really, that makes no sense.

That is what Hera says in Master of Atlantis: Poseidon (the expansion pack to Master of Olympus: Zeus (http://zeus.heavengames.com/misc/links/links.shtml)):
"What did you do to deserve this? If you don't know, then I'm not going to tell you."

:p I have fond (?) memories of that doll turning people into cows left-and-right while blowing-up buildings.

I know who a girl who insists that gravity is only a theory and therefore "we can't be sure if gravity actually exists..."

I know who a girl who insists that gravity is only a theory and therefore "we can't be sure if gravity actually exists..."

Interestingly enough, we can observe all the effects of gravity, but unlike the other fundamental forces (electromagnetism, the strong nuclear force, and the weak nuclear force) we cannot (at this time) observe the particle responsible for transmitting gravitational force.

And you can always argue that gravity doesn't exist, but a force does exist that behaves in the same way and has identical properties...

Still a dumb thing to say, though.

I know who a girl who insists that gravity is only a theory and therefore "we can't be sure if gravity actually exists..."

Gravity doesn't exist, the earth just sucks.

Gravity doesn't exist, the earth just sucks.

it's not that I don't believe in gravity, it's just sometimes it's not so much a feeling of being pulled so much as pushed.

*cookies for the loser who gets it

Interestingly enough, we can observe all the effects of gravity, but unlike the other fundamental forces (electromagnetism, the strong nuclear force, and the weak nuclear force) we cannot (at this time) observe the particle responsible for transmitting gravitational force.

And you can always argue that gravity doesn't exist, but a force does exist that behaves in the same way and has identical properties...

Still a dumb thing to say, though.

This is almost exactly what I said to her. Her reply was: "No! Because you still can't prove that either!"

And I won't even start on our little evolution chat...

Today's winner is "John McCain is such a maverick!"

it's not that I don't believe in gravity, it's just sometimes it's not so much a feeling of being pulled so much as pushed.

*cookies for the loser who gets it

...as in Friends?

Am I a loser?
More importantly, do I get a cookie?

Today's winner is "John McCain is such a maverick!"

But the News [sic] Networks say he is! It must be true! Obama an elitist Muslim who agrees 100% with his Christian reverend, Hillary is experienced but a jerk, and John McCain is a maverick American Hero!

(Keep in mind this enitre conversation was in English at the time)
Girl in a bar: So where you from?
Me: Toronto?
Girl: Where's that?
Me: Really? You don't know?
Girl:Is it in Europe?
Me:It's...in Canada
Girl:Oh.(Slight pause while you can almost see the hamster working overtime)Do you speak English?

Another girl, another bar: So what are you studying in school?
Me: History, specifically, Mediaeval European history.
Girl: Whoa. That sounds hard. (all excited) Oh! I know! You could study Mediaeval American history too! They could match!

(Keep in mind this enitre conversation was in English at the time)
Girl in a bar: So where you from?
Me: Toronto?
Girl: Where's that?
Me: Really? You don't know?
Girl:Is it in Europe?
Me:It's...in Canada
Girl:Oh.(Slight pause while you can almost see the hamster working overtime)Do you speak English?

Another girl, another bar: So what are you studying in school?
Me: History, specifically, Mediaeval European history.
Girl: Whoa. That sounds hard. (all excited) Oh! I know! You could study Mediaeval American history too! They could match!

http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/ff315/Sarothai/Smileys/rotflol.gif

(Keep in mind this enitre conversation was in English at the time)
Girl in a bar: So where you from?
Me: Toronto?
Girl: Where's that?
Me: Really? You don't know?
Girl:Is it in Europe?
Me:It's...in Canada
Girl:Oh.(Slight pause while you can almost see the hamster working overtime)Do you speak English?

Another girl, another bar: So what are you studying in school?
Me: History, specifically, Mediaeval European history.
Girl: Whoa. That sounds hard. (all excited) Oh! I know! You could study Mediaeval American history too! They could match!



Did you nail her?:p

Today's winner is "John McCain is such a maverick!"

He is if you define maverick as asking how high when the right wing tells him to jump.

Me and a Creationist were having an argument.

Me: So what about carbon dated dinosaurs that are millions of years old?

Her: Well, dinosaurs existed before the world, didn't they?

Me: No, just stop there before you make it worse.

Did you nail her?:p

No, I didn't. I'm one of those unfortunate souls who think that the sexiest part of a woman is behind her eyes (to clarify that, so I don't sound like Hannibal Lecter, it's her brain). On the one hand, I meet interesting women, on the other, not a lot of meaningless casual sex, plus I tend to be black-balled from frat parties and Maxim magazine.

No, I didn't. I'm one of those unfortunate souls who think that the sexiest part of a woman is behind her eyes (to clarify that, so I don't sound like Hannibal Lecter, it's her brain).

That still sounds like Hannibal Lecter. :D

That still sounds like Hannibal Lecter. :D

Just because I want to date a woman named 'Clarice' I get unfairly tagged as a psycho. It's not fair, I tells ya. ;)

How's this: I find smart women are sexier than stupid ones.

Just because I want to date a woman named 'Clarice' I get unfairly tagged as a psycho. It's not fair, I tells ya. ;)

How's this: I find smart women are sexier than stupid ones.

Oh I agree. I just was giving you a difficult time. And "Clarice" is a sexy name. I would date a woman named Clarice just so I could quote that movie all the time. "I must go Clarice. I am having an old friend... for dinner."

Ok how about this for stupid- in Britain(my home country) canibis has been reclassified as a class C drug- meaning you probely wont be arested for possestion.

This is all based on the idear that it's a harmless drud coz 30 years back when the members of parliment were kids the drug wasnt that harmfull.
Corse now their are new types of canibis that are more dangourous and addictive then before.(skunk is powerful)

Not harmful- I personly have freinds who have been or are using Canibis and it is harmful,and addictive.

"A study by New Zealand scientists, published earlier this month, suggested smoking cannabis virtually doubled the risk of developing mental illnesses such as schizophrenia."-This is from the BBC webpage and this say's why it shouldnt be allowed.

Ok how about this for stupid- in Britain(my home country) canibis has been reclassified as a class C drug- meaning you probely wont be arested for possestion.

This is all based on the idear that it's a harmless drud coz 30 years back when the members of parliment were kids the drug wasnt that harmfull.
Corse now their are new types of canibis that are more dangourous and addictive then before.(skunk is powerful)

Not harmful- I personly have freinds who have been or are using Canibis and it is harmful,and addictive.

"A study by New Zealand scientists, published earlier this month, suggested smoking cannabis virtually doubled the risk of developing mental illnesses such as schizophrenia."-This is from the BBC webpage and this say's why it shouldnt be allowed.

Ok how about this for stupid- in Britain(my home country) canibis has been reclassified as a class C drug- meaning you probely wont be arested for possestion.

This is all based on the idear that it's a harmless drud coz 30 years back when the members of parliment were kids the drug wasnt that harmfull.
Corse now their are new types of canibis that are more dangourous and addictive then before.(skunk is powerful)

Not harmful- I personly have freinds who have been or are using Canibis and it is harmful,and addictive.

"A study by New Zealand scientists, published earlier this month, suggested smoking cannabis virtually doubled the risk of developing mental illnesses such as schizophrenia."-This is from the BBC webpage and this say's why it shouldnt be allowed.

Mom on the phone with her drunk brother:
"You are paranoid! Nobody would want to bug your telephone and there is no way your neighbors could get into your apartment to sabotage your stuff every time you go outside. No sane person would believe that. Listen to yourself, can't you hear how crazy that sounds? ...I know what it is, it's evil spirits. They can go through walls and doors to get in and possess your stuff, it's the only logical and rational explanation."

Mom: "I better eat some algae to neutralize the toxins from the coffee."
Me: "...what?"
Mom: "The more toxins you eat the more acidic your cells get and that makes you sick. The more neutralizers you eat the more alkaline you get and the healthier you'll be."
Me: "pH is a measurement of hydrogen ion balance, not toxin concentration and a healthy pH value is close to neutral, both acids and alkalies are corrosive."
Mom: *laughs* "That's just silly. Look this stuff does work, I've had cancer for 30 years, the doctors refuse to admit it and do anything but health food has kept me healthy."
Mom: *Goes to eat her 'algae', a slime she bought from some guy called alg-Börje that smells like he scraped it off the bottom of a lake.*

I've had cancer for 30 years

I do not have a smiley that shows the amount confusion that statement caused.

No, I didn't. I'm one of those unfortunate souls who think that the sexiest part of a woman is behind her eyes (to clarify that, so I don't sound like Hannibal Lecter, it's her brain). On the one hand, I meet interesting women, on the other, not a lot of meaningless casual sex, plus I tend to be black-balled from frat parties and Maxim magazine.

Too late...
:p

A friend on another board says he was in a coffeeshop with a girl, and there was a big map of the world on the wall. He was describing the time he spent in Brazil when he was a kid, and she asked "Where's Brazil?"
He gestured at the map and said, "It's the biggest country in South America."
"Which one is South America?"
"Uh, the one below North America."
"Which one is North America?"
"Uh, the one with the United States in it."
[guess her reply]

A friend on another board says he was in a coffeeshop with a girl, and there was a big map of the world on the wall. He was describing the time he spent in Brazil when he was a kid, and she asked "Where's Brazil?"
He gestured at the map and said, "It's the biggest country in South America."
"Which one is South America?"
"Uh, the one below North America."
"Which one is North America?"
"Uh, the one with the United States in it."
[guess her reply]

"Where is the United States?"

Tried searching, but I couldn't find it. The post may very well have been deleted.

The gist was that Bush's ancestors fired a space laser into a crystal in the center of the Earth, killing the dinosaurs.
...

I...what...huh?! How does that even remotely make sense?! There were no human ancestors during the time of the dinosaurs, Bush family or otherwise! What crystal at the centre of the Earth?! How could they fire a laser into it anyway?! How would it kill the dinosaurs?!

In short: WHAT THE FUCK?!

Speaking of dinosaurs, my grand-cousin insists that dinosaurs went extinct because god punished them for their sin of eating humans.

Apart from dinosaurs, my mother told me once that I should not use so much oil for frying food, 'cause "one drop of oil pollutes 1,000 L of water"

"Where is the United States?"
I guess that was too easy :D
[My buddy doesn't go out with that girl anymore, wonder why...]

I guess that was too easy :D
[My buddy doesn't go out with that girl anymore, wonder why...]

Imagine: I once thought a girl was ignorant for not knowing whom Mozart was. :(

I've actually heard that from someone who was 100% serious.

also

"I checked the website and the bank said I had $100"

I tried to explain that they should have checked that against the list of checks/debits they had to make sure it was true........they had no list.

they hadn't reconciled their checkbook........ever.......in 13 years. I no longer wondered why they were broke, they were paying out $500 or more each month in overdraft fees.

I've noticed that you all have apparently met my x-wife.


"I'm sorry we couldn't pay the electric bill, but look. This dress was on sale"

"Gee, honey, York isn't like New York!"

Well yes.

"Gee, honey, York isn't like New York!"

Well yes.

New York is way cooler.

And I've been to both, so I can compare.

As a teaching assistant, I hear some pretty dumb stuff from my largely Freshman students. There is one guy who thinks he knows everything about history (and often acts as if he knows more than me) when he really doesn't know much of anything...

Me: Good afternoon class, if you'll get your books out we'll begin our study of the Peloponnesian War. Now, based on your readings, who can give me a brief thumbnail sketch of what the Peloponnesian War was and who the major players were?

*Student raises hand looking very confused.*

Me: Yes, go ahead...

Student: Weren't we just talking about Ancient Greece the other day?

Me: Yes....

Student: Then why are we talking about wars on the Hawaiian Islands?

*The rest of the class begins to roar with laughter*

Me: Uh, did you read any of the assignments I gave to you?

Student: *in a defensive tone* Yes!

Me: Apparently not because you're thinking of Polynesians... PELOPONNESIAN refers to Peloponnese, which is the peninsula in southern Greece where Sparta was located.

*Student stutters trying to think of something to come back with, but shuts up very humiliated and I continue with my lecture.*

New York is way cooler.

And I've been to both, so I can compare.
Depends what you're into, really.

Okay. I am going to quote a person I know here. Exact quote. I did not alter it. This is coming from a Freshman in high school.

"I'm not racist, I have a color T.V.!"

Someone (I forget where and who) once claimed that nicotine was not addictive. As proof, he stated that he had quit smoking three times.

Someone (I forget where and who) once claimed that nicotine was not addictive. As proof, he stated that he had quit smoking three times.
Mark Twain: "Quitting smoking is easy! I've done it hundreds of times."
of course, Twain understood the irony

...

I...what...huh?! How does that even remotely make sense?! There were no human ancestors during the time of the dinosaurs, Bush family or otherwise! What crystal at the centre of the Earth?! How could they fire a laser into it anyway?! How would it kill the dinosaurs?!

In short: WHAT THE FUCK?!

It was TRA/MKULTRA/Skapenroe. What did you expect?

BTW, he came back probably about a year ago as Romulus Os. Some of you might remember him.

It was TRA/MKULTRA/Skapenroe. What did you expect?
DAMN I wish my PIcaRDMPCia account had been registered earlier...I was only on the tail end of his reign and I apparently missed a lot of good stuff.

BTW, he came back probably about a year ago as Romulus Os. Some of you might remember him.

The name is vaguely familiar.

idiot: "why do you do weed?"
me: "because its fun"
"no its not"
"do you do it?"
"no"
"then how would you know"
"my dads a cop"

wtf?

In my youth I used to do a it of umm wheeling and dealing (mostly gold, jewrly etc..), one day a friend in the business come to me with a grand plan to make shit loads of money.

He told me of a silver coloured metal that when acid tested reacted as gold, his idea was that we could buy a load of this metal, chop it up and sell it as scrap gold, the name of the metal? Platinum!

lol

I've heard this one several times, and it kills me every time:

"The King James is the original Bible."

"If communism is so great then why does it need a revolution?"
This was an American!

\/ This \/
What about the last stage, true communism with no government.
:p

NationStates -
Not your blog!

Lighten up, it's nice when NSG goes outside of the holy trinity of debates: Religion, Politics and Sexuality

\/ This \/
What about the last stage, true communism with no government
:p



:mad::upyours:

:mad::upyours:

:D

I once had a conversation in school that went like this:

Girl: "What country are you doing your project on?"

Me: "Greece"

Girl: "Oh, that's cool. I heard that it's called Greece because years ago there was a giant oil spill over there."

Me: "... Greece has existed as a nation for over 3,000 years."

Girl: "Didn't they have oil back then?"

Me: "......."

With that sort of logic (after all oil was around back then) you just have to bow and walk backwards out of the room because you can't argue with logic like that.

Some favourite quotes from people over the years.

"Norwegians come from Norwegia" (still believes this even after being shown a map)

I had a trainee with me and before I got him to use the dingo, I told him to check the fuel tank. As there was little light and neither of us had a torch he lit a piece of paper with a lighter and was about to drop it into the fuel tank to see how full it was. I jumped quicker than I have ever done before to knock him and the burning piece of paper away. After explaining it to him, after about the 4th attempt he finally saw why you shouldn't mix an open flame with petrol.

Some idiot was driving a forklift when it developed a flat tyre, he asked me what he should do I said "Just drive forward a bit then the flat bit will be up the top" He actually believed me and went and did it, after checking to see if it had worked he did it again because he thought he hadn't gone far enough. I just had to laugh.

Said with all in a serious tone "I didn't know robots could be voted as Governors in America" (referring to Schwarzenegger becoming governor).

"bullets go faster than the speed of light, thats why we can't see them."

Reporter: Sir, can you name me a country that starts with the letter U?

Man: Yugoslavia?

Reporter: How about United States?

Man: *laughs, embarrassed*


British reporter asking and American man on the street.

DAMN I wish my PIcaRDMPCia account had been registered earlier...I was only on the tail end of his reign and I apparently missed a lot of good stuff.


The name is vaguely familiar.

Fuckin' LOVED that guy. :D

BTW - had a dream about you last night, Kyronea.

No, I didn't. I'm one of those unfortunate souls who think that the sexiest part of a woman is behind her eyes (to clarify that, so I don't sound like Hannibal Lecter, it's her brain).

Now you sound like a zombie. Or Sylar, but in that case she would have to have super powers.

Reporter: Sir, can you name me a country that starts with the letter U?

Man: Yugoslavia?

Reporter: How about United States?

Man: *laughs, embarrassed*


British reporter asking and American man on the street.

First one that came to my mind was Uganda. I think most Americans tend to think of our country simply as "America" rather than "the United States". So the only problem I really see is his spelling of Yugoslavia.

"If communism is so great then why does it need a revolution?"
This was an American!

That seems like a fair question to me. If the great working class wanted communism, wouldn't they just vote for it?

That seems like a fair question to me. If the great working class wanted communism, wouldn't they just vote for it?

Not necessarily arguing in favor of Communism, but have you seen it on the ballot lately? I personally haven't. Not sure how many people this has prevented from voting for it, but it could be a factor.

Not necessarily arguing in favor of Communism, but have you seen it on the ballot lately?

Not lately. In 2001 the Communist Party of Australia (Marxist-Leninist) ran ONE candidate, but he polled less than 1% (http://www.aec.gov.au/Elections/federal_elections/2001/results/index.html). Since then, they haven't bothered.

I personally haven't. Not sure how many people this has prevented from voting for it, but it could be a factor.

They aren't banned from campaigning or standing candidates. Any time they want their ass handed to them, they just have to step up. :)

That seems like a fair question to me. If the great working class wanted communism, wouldn't they just vote for it?

If democracies so great, what's with the American revolution?

you think they had a chance to vote?

Used to work with a guy who thought that the reason Y2K was a problem was because the computer thought it was 1900 and would alter it's speed to match computers of the time.

I think I suffered dain bramage.

^lol, give him a little he fills in the gaps. its fine if their stupid.

I told him to check the fuel tank. As there was little light and neither of us had a torch he lit a piece of paper with a lighter and was about to drop it into the fuel tank to see how full it was. I jumped quicker than I have ever done before to knock him and the burning piece of paper away. After explaining it to him, after about the 4th attempt he finally saw why you shouldn't mix an open flame with petrol.

... wow.

I heard a similar story from my dad. It didn't end that well, unfortunately. It was an anecdote from working in the ICU at a hospital.

If democracy's so great, what's with the American revolution?

you think they had a chance to vote?

Am I just getting tired, or is it really not clear what you mean?

I would date a woman named Clarice just so I could quote that movie all the time. "I must go Clarice. I am having an old friend... for dinner."

After the tenth quote, she would probably eat you. :P

Used to work with a guy who thought that the reason Y2K was a problem was because the computer thought it was 1900 and would alter it's speed to match computers of the time.

Let me see ... the computer hadn't been invented yet, so the speed of a 1900's computer would have been ... less than 0 MIPS.

ZOMG, it's going into reverse! Turn it off before it uncomputes all of human knowledge!

I think I suffered dain bramage.

Only one cure, quick:

:headbang: :headbang: :headbang: :headbang:

... you might manage to forget you heard it. ;)

"And remember kids, there's no stupid questions, just stupid people" - Mr.Garison, South Park
;)


Someone calling me at work 5 mins ago:
she:Yes, hello ? I just talked to this guy working for you, could you put me through ?
me: sure, who did you talk to?
she: this guy!, just put me through
me: we have 350 employees, could you be a bit more specific?
she: hes a guy!
me: mam, we have 350 people, about 2/3 men, i cant call all 200 of them, now can i?
she: you <censored>, put me through <censored>
me: i cant connect you to someone if i dont know who to connect you too, mam
she: <string of obscenities> <ends connection>

Seriously, people, remember names damnit !

Just pick someone at random.

She'll probably notice and want to yell at you some more, but just let her try and call you back! :P

Teacher: No. You're wrong.
Me: What do you mean? I got them all...even Alaska and Hawaii. (U.S. map labeling)
Teacher: There's actually fifty-two states.
Me: What are you talking about? There's fifty!
Teacher: No. Guam and Costa Rica are states, too.
Me: No they're not!
Teacher: Yes, they are!
Me: *walk away in disgust*
I'm not even kidding. This was from my first period study hall teacher though...not my geography teacher, thank God. Next thing you know she'll be saying South Korea is a state too... I guess that's why the teacher was in study hall. Probably something like: People who can't do, teach. People who can't teach, teach gym. People who can't teach gym "teach" study hall. :p (No offense, Smunkee)

Teacher: No. You're wrong.
Me: What do you mean? I got them all...even Alaska and Hawaii. (U.S. map labeling)
Teacher: There's actually fifty-two states.
Me: What are you talking about? There's fifty!
Teacher: No. Guam and Costa Rica are states, too.
Me: No they're not!
Teacher: Yes, they are!
Me: *walk away in disgust*
I'm not even kidding. This was from my first period study hall teacher though...not my geography teacher, thank God. Next thing you know she'll be saying South Korea is a state too... I guess that's why the teacher was in study hall. Probably something like: People who can't do, teach. People who can't teach, teach gym. People who can't teach gym "teach" study hall. :p (No offense, Smunkee)

How dare she forget DC! I mean if Guam and Puerto Rico are states then shouldn't DC join the club?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNUDDaEOvuY

Me: *walk away in disgust*

... abdicating any claim to intellectual superiority. You couldn't prove your point, she had the last word. Around here, that would be considered a win ... and not by you!

So for half-marks -- don't look it up -- what are Guam and Costa Rica if they're not states?

(My mother was a gym teacher once. I hope you have a nasty accident in Gym.)

After the tenth quote, she would probably eat you. :P

In a good way or a bad way?

In the situation with the dumb teacher, you get in the internet, go to the US Senate website, and show that neither Guam nor Puerto Rico have senators.

Alternatively, get an American flag, and count the stars.

In the situation with the dumb teacher, you get in the internet, go to the US Senate website, and show that neither Guam nor Puerto Rico have senators.

Alternatively, get an American flag, and count the stars.

Apparently she didnt even say Pueto Rica she was even further off and said COSTA rica

Teacher: No. You're wrong.
Me: What do you mean? I got them all...even Alaska and Hawaii. (U.S. map labeling)
Teacher: There's actually fifty-two states.
Me: What are you talking about? There's fifty!
Teacher: No. Guam and Costa Rica are states, too.
Me: No they're not!
Teacher: Yes, they are!
Me: *walk away in disgust*
I'm not even kidding. This was from my first period study hall teacher though...not my geography teacher, thank God. Next thing you know she'll be saying South Korea is a state too... I guess that's why the teacher was in study hall. Probably something like: People who can't do, teach. People who can't teach, teach gym. People who can't teach gym "teach" study hall. :p (No offense, Smunkee)

I had a similar experience in high school. My US history teacher thought there were 52 states, he was convinced that Texas still belonged to Mexico too. I argued with him for a while, but got suspended before I could figure out what states he thought there were.

British reporter asking and American man on the street.

I saw that. The reporter was Australian.

In the situation with the dumb teacher, you get in the internet, go to the US Senate website, and show that neither Guam nor Puerto Rico have senators.

I think it's better to make a positive statement of fact rather than to disprove a fallacy.

Why? You disprove the fallacy AND teach the teacher something. That's double-win.

So, Mirkana. Perhaps you'd like to have a swing at it (without looking it up of course) -- what are the relationships of Guam and Puerto Rica to the United States?

I think it's better to make a positive statement of fact rather than to disprove a fallacy.

Why? You disprove the fallacy AND teach the teacher something. That's double-win.

So, Mirkana. Perhaps you'd like to have a swing at it (without looking it up of course) -- what are the relationships of Guam and Puerto Rica to the United States?

I believe the proper term for them is protectorates. Could be commonwealths though.

I believe the proper term for them is protectorates. Could be commonwealths though.

Protectorates.

I believe the proper term for them is protectorates.

That was my guess too. I'll look it up sometime.

It's very important that all US citizens know the names of all the states. Or else when they get to be President they might accidentally invade one of them. :p

I think it's better to make a positive statement of fact rather than to disprove a fallacy.

Why? You disprove the fallacy AND teach the teacher something. That's double-win.

So, Mirkana. Perhaps you'd like to have a swing at it (without looking it up of course) -- what are the relationships of Guam and Puerto Rica to the United States?

Puerto Rica, being a nonexistent entity, has no relationship to the United States.

Teacher: There's actually fifty-two states.
Me: What are you talking about? There's fifty!Teacher: No. Guam and Costa Rica are states, too.

Weird. I actually had a similar conversation this morning with a co-worker who insisted that, counting Alaska and Hawai'i, there were 52 states. When asked to substantiate this, however, she was unable to name the extra two but "just because I can't tell you what they are, doesn't mean they're not there."

As for Guam and Costa Rica, Guam is a territory, and Costa Rica is a sovereign country in Latin America. (Apropos of that, I had someone once insist that 'Latin America' and 'Central America' are two different places and that Latin America was in Italy because the Romans spoke Latin.)

As for Guam and Costa Rica, Guam is a territory, and Costa Rica is a sovereign country in Latin America.
Correct. Puerto Rico is a "commonwealth". The term "protectorate" which was mentioned earlier is not really inaccurate, although it is the official title for either Guam or Puerto Rico: it is a generic term for internally self-governing but not fully sovereign, in particular under the military protection of some greater power.

OK, stupidest thing I've found on the Net:

http://christianparty.net/christianation.htm

I have a feeling that if they took power, 90% of American NSGers would soon be dead.

Correct. Puerto Rico is a "commonwealth". The term "protectorate" which was mentioned earlier is not really inaccurate, although it is the official title for either Guam or Puerto Rico: it is a generic term for internally self-governing but not fully sovereign, in particular under the military protection of some greater power.

I stand corrected.

... abdicating any claim to intellectual superiority. You couldn't prove your point, she had the last word. Around here, that would be considered a win ... and not by you!

So for half-marks -- don't look it up -- what are Guam and Costa Rica if they're not states?

(My mother was a gym teacher once. I hope you have a nasty accident in Gym.)

They're U.S. territories

Edit: Didn't even notice the Costa Rica instead of Puerto Rico...

Guam is a territory, Costa Rica is a separate country all together.

No, I didn't. I'm one of those unfortunate souls who think that the sexiest part of a woman is behind her eyes (to clarify that, so I don't sound like Hannibal Lecter, it's her brain). On the one hand, I meet interesting women, on the other, not a lot of meaningless casual sex, plus I tend to be black-balled from frat parties and Maxim magazine.

Badges of honor, those. Wear them proudly. When you're forced by Residence Hall circumstance to share a room with a fraternity vice president (he was at my non-frat college for a airplane pilot program his fratted institution didn't have), and all you hear every night are sordid tales of vandalism, theft, assault, rape and all kinds of behavior talked of like it was their fucking birthright and local cops are all looking the other way, it gets old.

I had a trainee with me and before I got him to use the dingo, I told him to check the fuel tank. As there was little light and neither of us had a torch he lit a piece of paper with a lighter and was about to drop it into the fuel tank to see how full it was. I jumped quicker than I have ever done before to knock him and the burning piece of paper away. After explaining it to him, after about the 4th attempt he finally saw why you shouldn't mix an open flame with petrol.

Wow. Saved yourself from becoming a collateral Darwin Award.

How dare she forget DC! I mean if Guam and Puerto Rico are states then shouldn't DC join the club?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNUDDaEOvuY

Wakko thinks so. He also seems to think that there are buffalo roaming in Utah. There might be some bison corralled for meat purposes, but raoming? Gotta go to Wyoming, Montana or the Dakotas to see that.

oh, wait for this, I was very :rolleyes:

This woman was sitting at a nice dinner with me, my husband and my children, when she comments how "well behaved and intelligent" my girls are, and asks where they go to school, when I say I homeschool them she goes into this tirade about how she hates homeschoolers, and disagrees with it in every instance because (get this) they are so "close minded" and "always see things as black and white" she also goes on to tell me how she taught biology for 23 years in my local school district and how the homeschool kids she taught were "always very rude", later in the evening after I have successfully gotten her to shut up about that, she starts talking about how when she was a kid she had a cat rabbit baby......she says her tomcat and her bunny mated and made cat-rabbits. I explained to her how that was impossible, due to cats and rabbits not being able to mate, and she tells me I'm obviously "too uneducated" to know, when I explain that cats and rabbits are from a different family and therefore not close enough related to mate, she questions how I know who their parents were............then I explain Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species, she looks at me confused. Yeah, I really want to send my kids to a school district where you taught biology for 23 years!

:rolleyes:

My 6 year old (5 at the time) trying to smooth things over by explaining why animals from different families can't mate........but the lady was so pissed she got up and left.



This woman should be shot! If not for her obvious failings as a human being, then atleast to make sure she won't be teaching any more of her lovely "biology".

By the way, those cats, aren't they the rather horrible looking manxs with the genetic disorder?

This entire site: http://www.truechristian.com/

This entire site: http://www.truechristian.com/

Dear Lord, those people need help. You know they actually hold that the Earth is FLAT? And all those pictures of the Earth being round were created by Photoshop and DEMONS?

Dear Lord, those people need help. You know they actually hold that the Earth is FLAT? And all those pictures of the Earth being round were created by Photoshop and DEMONS?

I can't tell if this is tongue-in-cheek or not. I'd send him an e-mail if I didn't want him to have my e-mail addresses, any of them.

Edit: Read the mail bag. It's sarcasm for sure.

It's so hard to tell sometimes...

"Isn't Paris a state?"
-- My friend's little sister...

This entire site: http://www.truechristian.com/

this takes the cake, the table and the whole damn dinner for a hundred people!
ah some people are so funny when they try to be serious.
okay folks i'll blaspheme no more on our mighty God! but isn't it strange how there are so many sub-sects of christianity, yet some of them claim they tell the truth more than the others? a little odd perhaps.

Am I just getting tired, or is it really not clear what you mean?

I was getting tired aswell, i was referring to the fact that a 'revolution' secured democracy in the world. But not in this thread!!

this is a thread about what stupid people say, my posts shouldn't be here!:p

From the intellectual cesspool that is youtube (I just found this too funny not to share):

"stupis american cunts i hate the fucking lot of them they are a bunch of pusseys they need a neclear bomb on them im 14 i know that y cant they see they are a load of pricks who need killing. wen i went i pushed in line in a shop and this soft american prick neely started crying.. they need to come live in england and see hw far they gey stupid fat cunts!!!!!!!!!!"

I also remember some person in my class not knowing that eps 4, 5, and 6 from star wars were the original trilogy and came out before 1, 2, and 3...

that capitolism is gods gift to humanity because marxism has some of the same things wrong with it. or that marxism as such will save the world from capitolism. same-oh same-oh both ways. that idiology x being bad, somehow makes idiology y good.

that if you don't believe in religeon c, you don't believe in anything.

and conversely:

that if religeon c is full of it, nothing that doesn't begin and end tangably can possibly exist.

those are to me some of the more obvious ones off the top of my head.

oh and of course that all time favorite of those who want everyone to worship little green pieces of paper, that socialism has shit from shinola to do with marxism. or that marxism, socialism and fascism are the same thing and capitolism their opposite.

or that an all loving god gave us brains only as a temptation with which to destroy our eternal souls and not ever for us to actually use them.

=^^=
.../\...

"Gay marriage will infringe on the sanctity of straight marriages!"

"Animals go extinct due to natural causes so what does it matter if we make some extinct ourselves?"

I saw that. The reporter was Australian.

Correction, Australian. Still, isn´t that the dumbest thing you´ve ever seen?

Correction, Australian. Still, isn´t that the dumbest thing you´ve ever seen?

I've read transcripts of speeches by Kent Hovind.

OK, stupidest thing I've found on the Net:

http://christianparty.net/christianation.htm

I have a feeling that if they took power, 90% of American NSGers would soon be dead.

I could swear we have a couple of their members as regular NSG posters.

:D

I've read transcripts of speeches by Kent Hovind.

Kent Hovind? Is he the same person that crafted the video I was referring to?

"Legalising gay marriages infringes on civil rights because it is an insult to every heterosexual couple."

"There's white music and there's ****** music, and if you're white then you should only listen to white music."

Makes you want to hit people.