NationStates Jolt Archive

Let's hear your best alcohol-related story that you can remember or others remembered for you. Sometimes these are the craziest stories where the contents are something you can't make up.

Someone once told me: "Hey Dan, we have a case of beer. Wanna drink and hang around the fire?"

I said: "Fuck that, I got a handle of vodka. let's get shit-faced, go into town,a nd see where that takes us"

It's nights like those that you hardly remember. You wake up late in the afternoon, your head swollen, mouth dry, and just plain groggy. You stagger to your feet and see all your clothes scattered about the room and don't remember getting undressed. You walk down the hallway and see a janitor cleaning up and you run into a friend who just busts out laughing upon seeing you. What happened? What did I do? And so you set out to piece the story together.

Or, are you remenicing about your days in college or in the military. Maybe it's about your first time getting drunk? Whatever it is, I wanna hear your best alcohol-related story.

This is really bad, but I once told the bouncer that my mate just collapsed in the club (he hadn't really) for teh lulz and loads of the staff rushed in there looking for him and told everyone to get off part of the dance floor so they could see a body but it was just one big wild goose chase, everyone was so angry so I just pegged it. I can't believe I actually did that.

This is really bad, but I once told the bouncer that my mate just collapsed in the club (he hadn't really) for teh lulz and loads of the staff rushed in there looking for him and told everyone to get off part of the dance floor so they could see a body but it was just one big wild goose chase, everyone was so angry so I just pegged it. I can't believe I actually did that.

lol that's pretty harsh :p


my "most gross" alcohol story was after a night of getting tanked with a friend at my favourite pub, mixing drinks as much as possible to increase the drunkenness... i don't remember most of the evening, but i do remember crawling back to my house from the taxi, losing my glasses along the way, and getting into bed. shortly after my head hit the pillow, i got back up and couldn't make it to the toilet, so i just vomited out of the window. at least, i thought that's what i did. i woke up in the morning to find a huge puddle of puke by the window and spread liberally around my room and in my bed :headbang:

slightly less bad than the time i thought my bedside table was the toilet >.>

though slightly better than a friend who pissed on a radiator in his dorm room, which then smelled of urine for the rest of the year :p

my "most gross" alcohol story was after a night of getting tanked with a friend at my favourite pub, mixing drinks as much as possible to increase the drunkenness... i don't remember most of the evening, but i do remember crawling back to my house from the taxi, losing my glasses along the way, and getting into bed. shortly after my head hit the pillow, i got back up and couldn't make it to the toilet, so i just vomited out of the window. at least, i thought that's what i did. i woke up in the morning to find a huge puddle of puke by the window and spread liberally around my room and in my bed :headbang:
I can relate to that.

I was with my best friend, Greg. The two of us stumbled upon a 24hr softball game which was located right next to a pub. Now, by midnight, most of the teams were shit-faced and it just became a reason to drink in public. There were players passing out in left field. Players staggering from plate to plate and when they finally get to home base, there's a beer waiting for them. We were all drunk, rambling around and I see a six-pack of beer at the top of the stands. I'm there climbing and stumbling up the stands, knocking my way past people who were just watching the "game" down below. My friends feared I would certainly fall but I grasped the prize and held it high up over my head and nearly lost my balance.

So, the night winds down, we go to the pub where yoy can also dance. So, I sweat off some of the alcohol and keep drinking more. We're passing around Captain Morgan, taking big swigs. By this time I can't form coherent sentences nor walk straight for more than three steps. We leave and go to the galley.

I'm a sailor and this is all taking place on base

We're in the galley and order breakfast. My one other buddy, Paul, was dowsed in three cans of beer that soaked into his clothes, his skin, and his hair. Greg can't see straight and starts freaking out about how we'll all get in trouble for being drunk and making asses of ourselves. We finally get our food and sit down at a table. We were loud, obnoxious, and crass. All we can do is laugh for no reason. Paul had to order Greg to eat who finally did. I couldn't unwrap the bread from it's wrapper and gave up on this futile venture. Finally, common sense prevails and we leave the galley.

So there we are, staggering across base. Greg is being supported by each of us carrying him. Someone comes out of nowhere and starts praising us andour intoxicated state, claiming "Now that's what I'm talking about" He shakes our hands and gives us each cigarettes. I'm there, my buddy's arm slung over my shoulder, vision blurred, trying to smoke a cigarette. Two other friends find us outside the barracks and one of them karate chops me in the neck and I fall to the ground.

After I pick myself back up we get Greg to his room. As soon as the door opens, all three of us spill onto the floor and are just a mass of drunken humanity. We finally stagger to our feet and get Greg into his bed, Paul leaves and I pass out on the floor.

Suddenly, I hear a sound that awakes me. I look up and see Greg on his back, projectile vommiting. Seeing him in trouble, I muster what strength I have left and roll him over to his side and get him into the toilet where he continues to puke. He starts crying and wailing about how we'll get in trouble for being drunk in public. I consoule him and calm him down. Later, I get him back to his bed and it ends up I did his laundry while I was drunk because he puked everywhere. So, I saved my friend's life.

Last year after I had to drop out of uni for health reasons I was feeling pretty down so my friends decided to have a BBQ to chill out and help me relax. Unfortunately our BBQ supplies consisted of 3 bottles of wine each. After i'd downed those I took a walk to the Union for some more drinks and a more comfortable place to sit. Another friend decided to introduce me to power shandy at that point (1/2 pint of lager, 2 shots of vodka and an alcopop added in).

After several more hours of drinking my tally of shameful events was as follows:

- Getting asked to leave a kebab shop due to nudity
- Ripping the ass out of my jeans on a kids slide in a church playground
- Falling off the seat in the middle of getting a lap dance and asking the stripper if I could just sleep there
- Falling asleep in the middle of a roundabout in town

I woke up the next day with the worst hangover on earth, freezing cold and covered in a layer of dew.

- Falling asleep in the middle of a roundabout in town


that's class, that is :D


edit:
oh, just remembered a friend's 16th birthday party where i brought along a beer bong (like this one (http://www.giftedstore.com.au/catalog/images/beerbong2.jpg)) and we decided it'd be a great idea to attach it to:
1. a 2 litre bottle of scrumpy (amongst other things)
2. a foot pump

i have never gotten so drunk so fast in my life :p
i'd also brought 2 good kegs with me that night... man that was a great party :)

that's class, that is :D

It was actually quite comfortable with the beer coat on :p

shortly after my head hit the pillow, i got back up and couldn't make it to the toilet, so i just vomited out of the window. at least, i thought that's what i did. i woke up in the morning to find a huge puddle of puke by the window and spread liberally around my room and in my bed :headbang:


I had a similar experience to that except it wasn't my room, it was my girlfriends. You know it's love when you don't get dumped after that

oh, just remembered a friend's 16th birthday party where i brought along a beer bong

I've never heard of a beer bong. How does it work?

It was actually quite comfortable with the beer coat on :p

almost anywhere is comfortable with that coat on ;)


my last two little stories: first one was just after going to university, and i didn't know my flatmates too well yet. some friends and i had gone out to a local rock club in Cardiff and gotten nicely sloshed when we bumped into all of my new flatmates on the way out from the club. now, with me, the first thing to "go" when i get drunk is my speech, so i had to walk back to our flat with these 8 guys feeling horribly embarassed and irritated that i could barely get a singe word out coherently. they probably thought i was some huge lightweight or something, bah!

second short one is a really happy memory, round a friend's girfriend's place in the summer holiday, just after spending a week in Amsterdam. we were drunk, stoned, and E'd up, having tonnes of fun all night from about 6 the following evening. my mate Nick and i were the last ones concious and went out to look at the sunrise, still very much drunk and high. we brought our beers with us and took another pill each, and were very, very happy sitting in the glow of a summer sunrise, on a hill, in the countryside, birds chirping, grass and trees swaying in the breeze. it was just a wonderful moment i'll never forget :)

I've never heard of a beer bong. How does it work?
well, you put the central bit over the top of a bottle and make sure the 'straw' bit goes down to the bottom of the bottle. the other end of the straw goes out to the side, and this means when you drink from the bottle there's none of that glugging that usually happens. the liquid just pours straight. i'm not sure if i'm explaining it well, but it makes drinking easier and faster, and when the other end of the straw is attached to a pump, it means the liquid is shot straight down your throat (2 litres of cider in maybe 10, 15 seconds kind of thing)

http://www.giftedstore.com.au/catalog/images/beerbong2.jpg

i'd get one if i were you ;)

I had a similar experience to that except it wasn't my room, it was my girlfriends. You know it's love when you don't get dumped after that

lol!

Oh man, I have so many stories.. Here are two of my favorites. I'll provide the full stories if anyone is really curious, but here's the highlights.

In Spain, I committed an act of piracy by boarding and commandeering someone's boat. After stealing chairs from a restaurant to build a bridge out to it.

In Sweden, my girlfriend and I were mistaken for celebrities in a trendy Stockholm club.

And of course there are the nights where I wake up wearing things that don't belong to me. The most interesting were a hula skirt, and a collar.

lol that's pretty harsh :p


my "most gross" alcohol story was after a night of getting tanked with a friend at my favourite pub, mixing drinks as much as possible to increase the drunkenness... i don't remember most of the evening, but i do remember crawling back to my house from the taxi, losing my glasses along the way, and getting into bed. shortly after my head hit the pillow, i got back up and couldn't make it to the toilet, so i just vomited out of the window. at least, i thought that's what i did. i woke up in the morning to find a huge puddle of puke by the window and spread liberally around my room and in my bed :headbang:

slightly less bad than the time i thought my bedside table was the toilet >.>

though slightly better than a friend who pissed on a radiator in his dorm room, which then smelled of urine for the rest of the year :p

i once vomited on my laptop, i was lying in bed with the room spinning and suddenly felt very sick and knew i wouldn't get the toilet in time and the window was a bastard to get open. looking around for something to be sick in i saw my laptop, and i remember this thought going through my mind, i thought "i've spilt everything on that and it's still survived i'm sure it can survive a bit of vomit and i don't want to vomit on my bed or the floor", and so i deliberately vomited on my laptop. needless to say the thing was fucked when i woke up the next day and i'd still managed to vomit on the bed and the floor as well. did manage to save the hard disc though.

I do have a story that, when first retold to me, sounded like I made out with a cardboard cut-out of Sarah Michelle Gellar. Actually, an attractive football (American kind) player had brought out the cut-out, then kissed me very dramatically in front of everyone at the party we were attending. I very much wish I could remember that. :x

My freshman year of uni, I went to a sort of Halloween party. I had never had Jell-o shots before, so I ended up over-doing it. I was desperately trying to get in the bathroom to get sick, but the skank in there wouldn't leave, so Groucho Marx came to my rescue and brought me a trash can. I ended up learning Groucho's real name a week or so later. Nice guy.

I try to not have drinking stories anymore. I much prefer being the one telling stories like this.

my mates 18th where I had the DJ play Sean Paul (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUnd-pcYkiI&feature=related) as a birthday song before I go blank and remember walking into a shady rasta-bar at gone 4 in the morning on a Sunday because the music sounded good

for grossness its when one of a duo of drunken girls (go pissed-me) was walking back to my house and pissed herself in the middle of the street (barf) leaving me to clean some undies at my Goddamn parents house (which they in the morning) its quite thankful I was drunk

well, you put the central bit over the top of a bottle and make sure the 'straw' bit goes down to the bottom of the bottle. the other end of the straw goes out to the side, and this means when you drink from the bottle there's none of that glugging that usually happens. the liquid just pours straight. i'm not sure if i'm explaining it well, but it makes drinking easier and faster, and when the other end of the straw is attached to a pump, it means the liquid is shot straight down your throat (2 litres of cider in maybe 10, 15 seconds kind of thing)

http://www.giftedstore.com.au/catalog/images/beerbong2.jpg

i'd get one if i were you ;)



An easier and better method is to get
a) A funnel
b) a bit of silicon tubing

1. Attach silicon tubing to funnel, if you can't work out where, stop drinking
2. pour beer in funnel
3. drink through tubing

If you want to be fancy, you can include a tap in the tubing...


I'll post me uber story tomorrow... I gotta work out which one...

An easier and better method is to get
a) A funnel
b) a bit of silicon tubing

1. Attach silicon tubing to funnel, if you can't work out where, stop drinking
2. pour beer in funnel
3. drink through tubing

If you want to be fancy, you can include a tap in the tubing...


I'll post me uber story tomorrow... I gotta work out which one...

like this?

http://tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:EO4oDiijByQWZM:http://www.beerbongsrus.com/beer_bong.jpg

I´m recounting the following story from the recollections of my best friend because to this date, I still don´t know what happened that night. I do recall I started by drinking this cheap cheap wine called ´Richard´ and that it was raining. But that´s about it.

We went to a rave and my best friend says all I did was jump. This is backed by the testimony of several friends that were there too.

When we left the party we stopped at a little bar and ordered beers. I don´t know who put the beer in my hand but my best friend says I kept on banging the pint against the table declaring that ¨This is my beer! My beer, I tell you!¨ and laughing. He still tells me he wished he had a video-camera with him. I would probably be in YouTube at the moment.:p

I feel kinda bummed because I can´t remember that night.

One night we were at my friends place drinking. This place is pretty seculded, but there are a few neighbors. The neighbors come over to ask us to keep it down (it's 2 AM and we're in the pool). The guy comes over, starts to say "Guys...could you...", pauses, looks down, says "Are you all naked?", pauses again...eyes go wide, and he says "And is that a gorilla in the pool?" We just nod.

Yeah...12 shitfaced high school kids naked in a pool with one kid in a gorilla costume. That was the one time we got in trouble because the gorilla fur clogged the filter.

One night we were at my friends place drinking. This place is pretty seculded, but there are a few neighbors. The neighbors come over to ask us to keep it down (it's 2 AM and we're in the pool). The guy comes over, starts to say "Guys...could you...", pauses, looks down, says "Are you all naked?", pauses again...eyes go wide, and he says "And is that a gorilla in the pool?" We just nod.

Yeah...12 shitfaced high school kids naked in a pool with one kid in a gorilla costume. That was the one time we got in trouble because the gorilla fur clogged the filter.

ROFLMFAO!!!

I can handle my liquor, so no recent drunk stories.

The drunk stories I have, most of them are not suitable for this forum.

Oh man, I have so many stories.. Here are two of my favorites. I'll provide the full stories if anyone is really curious, but here's the highlights.

In Spain, I committed an act of piracy by boarding and commandeering someone's boat. After stealing chairs from a restaurant to build a bridge out to it.

We definitely need to hear more about that one . ..

So, freshman year of college there was this girl in my english class, who was incredibly fun, and SUPER hot, and for some reason associated herself with my lame ass. So she invites me to a party, and obviously i say yes.

i assumed it would be 40 people and a couple of kegs. it actually was 12 people and handles of shitty, shitty, vodka. so i get there, and she makes me a screw driver, with like a single shot in it. now, i dont like getting drunk off of shitty vodka, but i like being drunk, so to expedite the process i pour like 2-3 more shots in it. drain that in five minutes, and go to make myself another drink.

here's where i make my mistake: every subsequent drink also had 3-4 shots in it.

so an hour and a half, 5-6 drinks, and a large piece of cake later, i am annihilated. and i realize, i really have to puke. so i get up, stumble to the bathroom, and then puke all over in it. i walk out, and theyre all like, "did you just puke?" and i say no. now, i did my best to clean up, but im shitfaced, so it isnt a good job, and i later assumed they immediately saw i was lying. so i stumble down onto the floor, in a random place in the appartment, and the girl comes over to try to sober me up. god she was hot, telling me to look down her cleavage as she fed me water and shredded miniwheats. now, i realize i have to puke again, perhaps from the miniwheats, perhaps from the vodka, i dont know. i stand up, get two steps away from her, and puke all over two of her friends. my charm has never sinced been matched. i spend the rest of the party lying down on my side.

i never hear from her again.

I can handle my liquor, so no recent drunk stories.

The drunk stories I have, most of them are not suitable for this forum.

I have a similar problem.

Most of the ones I CAN tell, I've told before. But here's one I might not have. If I have told it before, I apologize.

When I was stationed in Pensacola, Florida I shared an apaartment-like unit with about twelve others. There was a common living area, a common bathroom with showers and a washer/dryer and four bedrooms each with three beds. One night, against the rules, about seven of us were in one of the bedrooms having a drinking contest. I didn't really want to participate due to a slight disability I posess so I sat there sipping on a beer and watching the others. After a while, they talked me into playing and I ended up having to down an entire beer. Which I do. Now the trouble begins. See, I have the odd inability to belch on command. I don't know why, it's something that every man learns to do young, but for some reason, I can't do it. Now I'm practically in pain because I have an entire beer's worth of gas in my stomach that won't come up. Desperate for relief, I leave the bedroom and go into the bathroom. I pull down my pants and skivvies and sit on the toilet(it had a private stall) and massage my stomach, trying to will the pressure to evacuate in one direction or the other. After a couple minutes of this, I blast out an incredible belch that never ends. Gas ejects, liquid ejects, solids eject. I end up emptying the contents of my stomach in one gigantic blast right into the center of my pooled pants and shorts.

So there I am, stunned and on the toilet with a pantsload of puke and absolutely no idea of what to do next. I'm feeling better though. Shifting as little as possible, I pull my feet out of my shoes and out of my lower garments. I slide them aside, take off my socks and step out of the stall. I drop the nasty clothes directly into the washing machine along with my shirt(I don't know why it didn't occur to me to keep that out) and hopped into the shower. Once I'm clean, I knock on my locked bedroom door and my other two roommates open it and look shocked and amused to see me standing there naked and dripping wet. I say, "Have I got a story for you. Let me get dressed first." Eventually my other friends still having the drinking contest caught wind of my incident and mirth was had by all.

:)

One night we were at my friends place drinking. This place is pretty seculded, but there are a few neighbors. The neighbors come over to ask us to keep it down (it's 2 AM and we're in the pool). The guy comes over, starts to say "Guys...could you...", pauses, looks down, says "Are you all naked?", pauses again...eyes go wide, and he says "And is that a gorilla in the pool?" We just nod.

Yeah...12 shitfaced high school kids naked in a pool with one kid in a gorilla costume. That was the one time we got in trouble because the gorilla fur clogged the filter.

Sounds like my kind of party. :)

I was involved in a similar incident, except the pool was a swampy pond, the neighbors were some late night canoers( a father, mother and two children) and the gorilla suit was a sleeping bag we had trapped one of our friends in and were taking turns beating the shit out of.

When I was studying abroad in Copenhagen, my class went on a study tour to Belgium and Luxembourg. On our last night in Luxembourg, the program intern decided to take us all out for a welcome drink. Unfortunately, when we came to the bar she'd had in mind for the occasion, we found that it was closed and were forced to search for a new venue.

Eventually we came to a gay bar whose name I can no longer remember. The specialty here was something called the Cock Colada. I don't know what was in the drink. All I know is that it was served in a penis-shaped glass. I declined this, but I had plenty of other drinks. I'd been in Copenhagen for weeks, and had grown accustomed to the tiny 2cl portions of liquor that Danish bartenders put into mixed drinks. This was not the practice in Luxembourg.

As the last ten or so of us left the bar, we found one guy from our group outside puking in the gutter. As I and one of my friends were checking to see if he was okay, the rest got into a couple of cabs and took off without us. Seeing no other cabs nearby, we each grabbed one of the sick guy's arms and started the long walk back toward our hotel, probably at least a couple of miles away.

That's the last thing I remember clearly from that night.

There are a few brief half-memories. Throwing up out the window of a cab. Being back on the street again and having my friend tell us to stay where we are and not move. There's a vague impression of police being involved at some point. And then I'm being dragged back into my hotel room, with someone telling me, "You drank too much." No shit.

The next day I get the details. We were kicked out of that first cab for being violently sick. Unfortunately, the driver had taken us in the opposite direction from our hotel in order to get onto the highway and save time. So we were out in some distant section of Luxembourg, which admittedly isn't that big, but it's a lot bigger when, as in the case of my friend, you're dragging two blacked-out drunks, one of them (not me) completely belligerent as well. Knowing he wouldn't be able to get us back on his own, he sat us down, locked our arms to keep us from falling over, and went off in search of another cab.

When he finally returned with one, he found two police officers standing over us, prodding us with their feet and trying to communicate -- a lost cause since neither of us spoke French, or at this point in the night, English. My "communication" was more or less limited to "Murgh hurk urrrrrrrrrrr." Fortunately, he was able to convince the officers not to take us in by showing them that he'd found a cab for us.

So I got back to the hotel safe, without being arrested or asked never to come back to Luxembourg again. Given the circumstances, I call that a win. :)

I love booze, and I love getting buzzed. I just hate getting really drunk...because that results in me feeling like I need to vomit and take a titanic crap: Both at the same time. It's horrible. I can never decide which end of my body needs to hang over the toilet, although I've always managed to reach a balance, and I've never vomited or shat on the floor.

Stories, though...hmmm...I nearly killed a turtle whilst drunk, by knocking over its tank by sitting down in a chair so aggressively.

I also tried to pick a fight with the whole of Germany once. Two bottles of Riesling, jet lag and a rude crowd resulted in me spewing forth German profanity so loud and vulgar that I've not been able to replicate it.

Sounds like my kind of party. :)

I was involved in a similar incident, except the pool was a swampy pond, the neighbors were some late night canoers( a father, mother and two children) and the gorilla suit was a sleeping bag we had trapped one of our friends in and were taking turns beating the shit out of.

Good times...good times.

There was the time that we were playing drunken flashlight tag in the woods and stumbled upon a family. Imagine their shock as 10 guys in either camo or various shades of undress with leaves glued to them and paint splatters come barreling out of the woods...

One of the most fun...

We'd dumped a most of a handle of Everclear into one of these (http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/411CRFFDQ2L._AA160_.gif) and the rest was Countrytime lemonade mix and water. Slathered on the sunscreen, filled up a pair of floating coolers with beer, and wedged this bad boy into a tire ring raft. We tied all three up to a paddle boat, and paddled our way out to a large raft in the middle of the lake, tied them up, returned the paddle boat and swam out. Two of us had the good sense to get in the raft (which had a mesh bottom) and proceed to getting drunk, on this lovely mid morning (roughly 9:30). The third character, Al, decided to hang on to the edge of our big raft and get drunk. Sweet.

So, back story, this lake was stocked with Bluegill and Crappie, who had been fed little, pink pellet food for years. To give you an idea of what these food pellets look like, think: Man nipple. Yes, you see where I am going.

Chris and I are sitting in the raft having a merry old time, when Al suddenly launches himself straight out of the water and into the raft, screaming. His left nipple; bleeding. Needless to say, I laughed. A lot.

Edit: Oh, and we had that jug of everclear lemonade fully consumed by, about, one thirty.

I did 10 shots of whiskey in under five minutes on a dare. My one friend paid for it all. I walked from the bar to the door and it hit me like a sledge hammer. Oddly enough, I held myself exceptionally well. Before I knew it, I was with him in this other guy's room and we were playing guitars, drums, etc. I was playing the bongos, abslutely shit-faced and managed to keep a steady beat while they played accoustics.

That was all I remember, I woke up the next day in my room.

One of the most fun...

We'd dumped a most of a handle of Everclear into

I keep seeing this referenced in this thread. That's a unit of alcohol measurement I'm not familiar with.

I keep seeing this referenced in this thread. That's a unit of alcohol measurement I'm not familiar with.

handle is 1.75 liters, named so because the bottle has a handle built in.
http://www.bartonbrands.com/glenmorevodka/largeglenprodshot.jpg
the largest bottle in that picture is a handle.

Several years ago I drove down from Nashville, Tennessee to Savannah, Georgia for St. Patty's Day to meet some friends driving up from Florida in a rented RV. I got in around noon and had already twice thrown up large quantities of greenly tinted alcohol before 9 p.m. Sometime around midnight I past out on the roof of the RV on a section covered in hastily glued-on Astroturf. I woke up to pleasant sound of ocean waves...which is a BIT wierd since downtown Savannah isn't on the ocean. I was further surprised to glance down and notice that I was lying on a picnic bench...surrounded by a multitude of seagulls. And I was FURTHER surprised to see a rather large sign extending the courteous salution to would-be visitors: "Welcome To Jacksonville Beach," which is somewhere in the neighborhood of 6 hours SOUTH of Savannah. Apparently, everyone had decided to go home the night before, and had simply strapped me to the roof. Fortunately, one of them had the courtesy to drive my own car to Jacksonville with them so I had a way to get home.

So I once knew a few guys who almost died from drinking alcohol. Good times.

I have a non-alcohol story.

In Norway, my mate bought a case of extremely cheap beer, and laughed at everyone else for spending so much money. Back at the hotel he was knocking them back thinking he was hammered. Then one of the Norwegian-speaking guys picked one up and said "Dave... why are you drinking non-alcoholic beer?". He "sobered-up" pretty quickly :D

We definitely need to hear more about that one . ..

If you insist. :p

So I PCS'ed to Germany fall of '06, and was still in temporary housing during the holidays. I was bored and restless as hell because while waiting for my actual residence to be ready for me to move in, I didn't have any of my own stuff, and had basically been living out of a suitcase for 2-3 months. So on New Years, some of us were celebrating in a tiny rural German town. When we heard we were getting ANOTHER day off for the death of President Ford, that was too much. So, drunk already, we decide to book a Ryanair flight for the next day to wherever the cheapest location was. That turned out to be Spain. The next day we're on the sunny beaches of Spain, and come 6pm are getting pretty hungry. Too bad for us Spaniards don't eat that early. So we head to a bar to pass the time, and end up getting drunk before the restaurants open. We eventually make it to a restaurant, and all I remember is thinking how much fun it was to eat drunken spaghetti. Around 2am we found ourselves back on the beach. There was this 40 foot tall rope structure. To this day, I have no idea if it was modern art, or a huge toy, but we decided it was a good idea to climb this thing. From the top, we spot a boat partially beached out on the sandbar. I'm not sure I can claim credit for this one, but between myself and one of the guys, it was acknowledged that this boat just HAD to be boarded. So screaming all manner of pirate jargon, we run off to the water.

Now, it's 2am and we remember that sharks are in the water at night, so swimming or wading out there is a bad idea. Luckily, there happens to be a seaside cafe nearby, with stacks of unsecured plastic chairs. (Plastic floats, right?) We "liberate" a few of them to build stepping stones out to the boat. ...which was a good idea in theory but not so much in execution. About halfway out, I set the next chair down and step onto it, only to have it sink into the sand, dumping my unfortunate ass into the water. My friends said I reminded them of their cats, I got back to the beach so fast. The second try was successful, and more pirate slang as we boarded the boat. Unfortunately there wasn't much interesting on board (I think it was abandoned) but we dicked around for a while before heading back to the beach to play on the kid's playground. The last thing I remember is all of us climbing palm trees. Only problem was that they were very short palm trees, so passing Spaniards were giving us the strangest looks.

That trip was awesome. Being an overnight trip, we didn't really bring a change of clothes, so the flight back with us soaked in beer and seawater must have been awesome for the people around us!

Which branch are you in?

I remember when I got my first rent check from the council...nearly 200 quid all mine..(I had been paying the rent out of my own pocket)....

Started drinking with me mates when the pub opened at 10:30...until 3:30...back then there the license laws were a tad more strict...so I hit an offy...with minutes to spare...went home with several bags bursting with bottles of various sorts...wine, spirits and beer (Newcastle Brown...this is important this is...) we also hit the supermarket deli counter :)

Back then I was sharing a house with a bunch of gamers...and no surprise there was some action going on...table top war gaming this time....so we hung out watching the battle and drinking...and eating...and drinking...and of course giving bad drunken advice like 'have that infantry unit attack that uphill entrenched machine/mortar nest'...or 'use your bombers to take out infantry...ignore their tanks'...

Come 5ish and the pub opens again....so off we go. I really do not know how we kept it together so as not to have been kicked out of the pub and banned for life...but then it was a proper Irish pub and we were locals so go figure...

So pub closes....we head home and foolishly foolishly decide that this was an ideal time to start not only a drinking game but also a new D&D campaign...that somehow were intertwined...I think it had something to do with dice rolls...if you hit a crit you have a double...if you hit normal you have a single...if you fumble you have three...

So there we are in the living room happily fucked and playing when one of the lads just lets loose with a solid stream of projectile vomit narrowly missing most people but sadly hitting the TV full on...there was about a second of silence...then like a slow motion domino effect the vomitting took us all by the balls...Family Guy? Mr Creosote? Pah...having about ten people vomit at the same time in a smallish room....now that ...that .... I think I feel slightly ill at the recollection now...

Sometimes its maybe best not to remember what one did in the past...:p

Which branch are you in?

The best one, of course. ;) Air Force.

So there we are in the living room happily fucked and playing when one of the lads just lets loose with a solid stream of projectile vomit narrowly missing most people but sadly hitting the TV full on...there was about a second of silence...then like a slow motion domino effect the vomitting took us all by the balls...Family Guy? Mr Creosote? Pah...having about ten people vomit at the same time in a smallish room....

That is hysterical! I can't imagine the scene lives up to my mental image..

The best one, of course. ;) Air Force.

I'm in the Navy...Sometimes I wish I joined the Air Force.

My mates and I decided to make a very large fire one night at a lake-front campsite in Stone Mountain Georgia. We naturally got drunk and some how ended up taking most of our clothes off, covering our faces with fire-pit ash and dancing around with big sticks. Well, Stone Mountain Park runs a ferry around the lake every couple hours or so, we had about 200 spectators on that boat watch us while we danced and took turns jumping over the fire. weird.

and then later we decided to swim across the lake but had to take off all our clothes in the middle of the lake because the water made them really heavy. That was interesting.

Hmmmph.
I actually have an blog that is largely devoted to my drunk stories.
The one that i am frequently told is the best is linked below, but feel free to check out others:
Optimus Prime is Drunk (http://optimusprimeisdrunk.blogspot.com/2007/07/possibly-best-op-story-to-date.html)

Yes, i go by the nickname Optimus Prime; copyright laws be damned, i just REALLY like the Transformers.

Well...

one time when we (me, my friends, coursemates) were writing our Bachelor thesis, when deadline came, we didn't sleep for last two days. When we finished our thesis we were quite high already from happiness and sleeplessness. So we decided to get drunk. With tequila.
Bunch of tequila shots later we are totally wasted, one guy peed in large standing ashtray and he was excellent pretending 'nothing's happening' while waitresses were walking by. Some of us took empty glasses in toilet peed in them and tried to convince others that it's tequila. It didn't work. At one moment, i blink, and looking around I slowly realize that it's totally different bar and somehow we and all my friends have teloprted in another bar. Nobody knew how. We kept drinking vodka shots. Then hearing music, I decide that i have to dance and we try dancing with my friend. Two completely drunk guys trying to dance is not successful venue. We fall down, i hit my nose on the floor, start bleeding and i go to wc to wash blood. My friend comes with me and gets this amazing idea to use my blood as a red paint and to paint his face with red stripes. He then runs around the bar screaming 'I'm indian, i'm indian!" . When we sit down, friend stumbingly push glass and it falls on the floor and breaks. Waitress come and say "That costs 2 lats (4$). It will be added to your bill." The friend calmly looks into her eyes, take another glass from the table; lets it fall to ground and break; and calmly says "Add this too".
We got thrown out. On my way to home i decided that stealing one big road repair (that red-and-white lined one) is great idea and taking it to my flat, i throw it down the stairs several times waking my neighbours.

Next morning, i wake up. First thought "Big drinking before, terrible hangover. but that's all as it should be". I open my eyes and second thought comes to my head: "What that freaking road repair sign is doing standing proudly in the middle of my flat!?!? Seriously, what the fuck happened yesterday!?"

it took us two meetings afterwards to put everything together. but not completely everything.

I love this thread - it has made me laugh out loud

The grossest thing I have ever done was accidental. I sat on a dog turd in a beer garden once and spent the rest of the night wondering where the foul smell was coming from.
I only noticed it when I got to the house I was staying in. The natural thing to do was soak them in the sink, which didn't go down too well with the girls when they went into the kitchen to make some breakfast

1. I had turned in for the night earlier, but my friends took one of their upstairs neighbors' deck chairs, brought it out to the bridge, beat the ever living shit out of it with tree support poles, set it on fire, and then put it back.

2. My friends and I were bored one night, I don't even remember if we had even been drinking, as strangely we might not have been, and one of the people who lived with them had gone down south for the weekend. We opened the fridge to discover she was keeping a urine sample (in a little medical cup, in a little baggy) in there, as apparently she gets too weirded out to piss at the doctor's, and so someone suggested we should throw it at someone. After learning that our primary target had already been kicked out, we went down to some more university apartments to throw it into someone's window. This was the weekend before Halloween, so there were tons of parties and people about, including a squad car. Eventually we thought this one glass door was open, and tried to throw it through, but it turned out to be closed, and it made an incredibly loud "DONK" sound before bouncing back to land on their porch, probably right on their welcome mat. We ran the fuck out of there, naturally, but almost hoping to get caught, so that the when asked by the officer "Let me get this straight... you were throwing a cup of pee at people's windows?" we could respond, as if it made it all somehow better, "Well, it wasn't our pee."

3. Halloween, I was stupid. Didn't eat anything, but did get all black metaled up with corpse paint. Went to a party, chugged Popov (why does anyone even buy that stuff? It's disgusting), and then wine. Apparently there was cheap beer as well, but I don't remember that. What I do remember, vividly, is sitting down at the bus stop, and then moving my leg so I could puke right in front of me. Some girls dressed as your typical butterfly princesses and shit were also there and they kinda cringed in disgust and horror at my red vomit. My friends helped me stagger home, well, really they more carried me. I'm kind of a big guy, so that is why they are awesome. I couldn't even take off my boots by myself.

4. A while a go, three friends and myself decided randomly to do car bombs. It wasn't St. Patrick's Day or anything, we just wanted to drink. So, we got 24 bottles of Guinness, some Johnny Walker Red and Baileys, and proceeded to take car bomb after car bomb until there was no more beer. So about 6 each. We were passed out by 10:00 PM, as we had taken a couple shots of the whisky by itself, too. A few hours later, I, who hadn't eaten much, stupidly again, got up to go to the bathroom. I had just started undoing my fly when I just out of nowhere vomited all over. I got some in the toilet, but I practically painted the walls with barf. And the toilet exterior. And the floor. And part of the tub. Then I had to clean up. It was a shitty morning.

5. Double keg party. Don't have one unless you know for a fact that 150+ people are showing up. We were left with a keg and a quarter of beer that was rapidly going flat and stale. The day after, we were all laid out by 5:00 PM. And there was still over 3/4 of a keg to go. We ended up pumping out into other containers we had washed out. These included several other booze bottles, two gallon milk jugs and an orange juice jug, three 2-liter bottles, and probably 4 or 5 half gallon cartons. It was bad. We finished all but about two liters, a bottle we started to drink but after one half hour more since we had opened it, it was completely gone bad, to the point of no longer being drinkable at all, so we through it out.

One samhain, after the pub, some rite or other, a few drinks at the high preistessess gaff, and gate crashing a party on the way home, I wondered off home at about 4 in the morning, and decided to have a wee down a little alley 30 secs from my house.

Well I woke up about 8 in the morning, sitting down with my back leaning against a tree, having pissed all down my legs, and with my dick hanging out! Why I just didn't go home, well I was very, very drunk.

Oooh! I almost forgot! I gave blood, and then proceeded to get drunk, once.

This was during rush week of my senior year at college.

There was this girl I had been secretly in love with ever since freshman year. Unfortunately, she had been unavailable all that time, having hooked up with some guy a year ahead of us. We were friends, though ( :rolleyes: ), part of a group of students who took a lot of classes together.

At the end of junior year came the good news that her BF was going to take a job in a city half-way across the country. So, all that summer, I planned how I would take advantage of this opportunity and hook up with my dream girl.

Comes August and I'm back at the college, and a friend of mine (in the same group) is having a room-warming party because he's just built a new bar in his room. So I head over to the party and meet up with the crew and who shows up but my dream girl . . . and her f***ing boyfriend, who had decided not to move across the country after all :headbang:

There was only one thing to do: drown my sorrow. So, I proceeded to do as much damage to my buddy's liquor supply as I could. I started with six 7 & 7's, then proceeded to two tequilas, then two Yukon Jacks. That's where I lost count. Along with consciousness. This was on a Friday night, around 12:30am.

Fast-forward to Saturday afternoon, about 1:30pm. I returned to consciousness, or a close approximation thereof, to find myself lying on the floor of my room clutching the floor lamp next to me. I was massively hung-over and sick the rest of the weekend.

My buddies all clammed up about the incident and only told me bits and pieces of the true story throughout the rest of the year. It was only years later, IIRC at my 10th reunion (!) that I got the full story.

I was so plastered that I couldn't move, let alone walk. This was a problem because the scene of the party was on the other side of campus from my dorm. I was also a fairly big guy, not some little pipsqueak someone could throw over his shoulder. So, to get me back home, the crew decided that some kind of transport mechanism was needed. The mechanism of choice: an old refrigerator cart.

So they all loaded me onto the refrigerator cart and proceeded to cart me back to my dorm. Along the main street of the campus. With a full parade of other drunk, half-drunk and non-drunk students. And cameras :eek:

And of course, all along the way I'm babbling about you-know-who (times two).

When they got me to my dorm, there was another problem. They had to drag me up four flights of stairs. When they got to the fifth floor, they found they couldn't get the keys out of my pocket. So one of my pals at my dorm had to go out on the ledge and go in through my window to unlock the door. They must have left me off on my couch, after which I had attempted to climb into my loft bed, grabbed the floor lamp and wound up on the floor.

I gathered that the incident was notorious throughout campus. I never said anything to the girl who was the cause of it all, although I assumed she knew all about it, either from directly witnessing the spectacle, or getting reports from participants or others at the dorm (where she lived as well). In fact, when classes began, we were in another class together. The first day I must have still looked down, and she asked me if I was mad at her, which of course I denied. And that was the end of that discussion.

We actually remained friends and I've seen her at every subsequent reunion, the last two with her BF who she, of course, ended up marrying.

At the 10-year I finally saw one of the pictures. Just as well it took that long. And at my last reunion I learned that a few of my buddies were also blasted during the big parade and decided to do various wacky things as well.

I'm sure this incident will come up at every reunion we have left :cool:

Ooh ooh, you guys want to hear about the time I was kicked out and banned from Cluj, Romania for alcohol induced decision making?

Ooh ooh, you guys want to hear about the time I was kicked out and banned from Cluj, Romania for alcohol induced decision making?

Do tell!

Okee. Well, first I must bump up this old story (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=455110).

And I can't believe that I'm going to tell this story to a bunch of internet strangers. My best friends don't even know this.

Anyway, I was in Cluj-Napoca, Romania, for part of my Study Abroad last summer. It was the last day being there, and we had a little going away dinner sponsored by the faculty of Babeş-Bolyai University. We had already had one of these dinners when we got here, and we soon figured out that Romanians love to drink. It was rather entertaining to see our faculty coordinator (the guy from MSU) telling us to "sit down and fuck the shut up!" while waving a butterknife in our general direction (he was soon disarmed).

But I digress. Since the alcohol was free, I figured I might as well make the most of it. I had been pleasantly buzzed after the first dinner, and I wanted to push it a little more. I had a train ride to Bucharest later that night, and I figured that a little alcohol might make it a bit more pleasant.

Dinner was fine. The chicken in the appetizer tasted a wee bit funny, but it was good. Alcohol was free flowing. They had excellent lager that was brewed and canned right in the city. When we stepped out onto the patio of the hall where we were having the dinner, you could see the brewery. I had about 8 of those. That wasn't what did me in, though. It was the wine. Dry white, sweet red, and dry red. All in seemingly unlimited quantities. I indulged myself in many a glass. I drank from the moment we sat down to the time we left. I still only vaguely remember what we had for dessert. I'm told it was an ice cream cake. I was the drunkest that I had ever been in my life. And that is saying something.

I still had two beers in my pocket (they were the tall cans) when we left. I consumed those on the way back to the dorm. By this time, all the alcohol had not entered my bloodstream. We packed up, and were driven to the train station. I only remember bits and pieces of this.

We were all waiting for the train, everyone being slightly intoxicated. Me being a little more then slightly intoxicated. We had about an hour to kill before the train came. I spent the first part being drunk. I spend the next part being more drunk. This is where the problems started happening.

The funny tasting chicken from dinner caught up to me. I needed to take a shit. And not one of those "wait for the train" shits, it was one of those "holy shit" shits. And I needed to take one right then.

Even through the alcoholic cloud that engulfed my mind, I knew I needed to find a bathroom. I started asking other people around me where the bathrooms were. In French. Why in French? I have no idea. Somehow, they understood. Or, at least, I thought they did. They pointed me out the door. I found that rather odd that the bathroom would be out the door, but this is Romania, the land of Vlad the Impaler, sweet sausages, and 80's American dance music! So I went out. My group finally realized that I was rather desperate, so they sent someone to follow me (side note: this is the guy who was detained at the Hungarian-Romanian border crossing for marking up his passport).

Evidently, he believes that I have to take a piss. And I'm still stumbling around, looking in vain for these mystical Romanian toilets. So he kindly directs me to a wall. It looked like a nice, private place to remove offensive matter from my colon. So, I dropped trou and dropped load. That chicken really didn't settle well. And, of course, he was watching the whole thing, and laughing his arse off the whole time. I finished my number two, then took a number one (with my trousers on my knees).

As I was heading back into the station building (relieved in more ways then one), I saw two policemen coming towards me. I didn't take much notice of it until they stopped me and demanded my passport. I gave it to them (bad idea), and they asked me if I was drunk. I answered a semi-truthful "Nyet, Comrades". They saw that I was American. Then they said (I remember this very clearly) "Get on your train, and never come back here". I think I missed some dialogue between my friend and the police, but I got the general gist of it. They would have arrested me, but I was American and leaving, so they didn't want to deal with the paperwork. I found it rather odd that they stopped me in the first place. I mean, I didn't do anything wrong asides from take a dump on government property. And even then, it was in a secluded place, right???

Come to find out, my "toilet" was not as secluded as I thought it to be. In fact, it was not secluded at all. My little alcove was walled in on 2 sides, and partially on a third. This left the fourth side uncovered.

This forth side faced the train platforms. And these train platforms were packed with people. All, evidently, watching me. As I later pieced together from different accounts, I took a dump in front of(and mooned with a shitty ass) approximately one thousand citizens of Cluj-Napoca. That is why the police wanted me out.

And that, my friends, is how I was banned from Cluj-Napoca.

After drinking an amount of alcohol that might have killed me, I wound up in the bushes near my college library on a warm Saturday morning. My jeans were about 50 feet away, so I was left in boxers and a wifebeater. I had no idea where my socks were and I only found 1 sneaker. I woke to the sprinkler system drenching me with a fair amount of water. Did I get up at that point? Hell no! I fell back asleep for a time I do not know. After finally making my way back to my dorm I heard some terrific stories about the night before that I didn't care to hear. After cleaning the mud and dirt out of several areas, I laid myself to rest in my own bed. When I woke up at around 5PM I decided to go to the mess hall. There I heard more stories of my debauchery from my roomates. I also found two different females smiling at me (not at the same time). I wondered what kind of an ass I had made of myself to bring about this cat-like grin. After introducing myself to them (I couldn't remember who they were) I found out that I had made out with both of them in two residence halls adjacent to one another. Feeling like an ass, I walked back to the table that my friends were at and told them what I had done with these young women. Everyone seemed to know this story except me. This is about the funniest story I can think of.

Another one, to make a long story short, happened when visiting a friend at his University. After showing up with my two friend who were cadets at the USCG Academy, we started drinking right away. It ended with pissing on the Residence Assists door and him opening it in progress. He then chased me down us down 8 flights of steps while my "friend" was still dangling out my zipper. He told me I was banned from X residence hall, which mattered not to me as I didn't go there. Later in the evening I wound up shoulder blocking a water fountain clear off the wall in my friend's dorm. The three military men (2 Coasties and the Marine (me) passed out in front of our pal's door because were were locked out and couldn't find him.

You decide which one is funnier, or not at all. :rolleyes:

*snip*



I can hardly type, I'm laughing so hard. :D

I hope your "guide" made it up to you.

After drinking an amount of alcohol that might have killed me, I wound up in the bushes near my college library on a warm Saturday morning. My jeans were about 50 feet away, so I was left in boxers and a wifebeater. I had no idea where my socks were and I only found 1 sneaker. I woke to the sprinkler system drenching me with a fair amount of water. Did I get up at that point? Hell no! I fell back asleep for a time I do not know. After finally making my way back to my dorm I heard some terrific stories about the night before that I didn't care to hear. After cleaning the mud and dirt out of several areas, I laid myself to rest in my own bed. When I woke up at around 5PM I decided to go to the mess hall. There I heard more stories of my debauchery from my roomates. I also found two different females smiling at me (not at the same time). I wondered what kind of an ass I had made of myself to bring about this cat-like grin. After introducing myself to them (I couldn't remember who they were) I found out that I had made out with both of them in two residence halls adjacent to one another. Feeling like an ass, I walked back to the table that my friends were at and told them what I had done with these young women. Everyone seemed to know this story except me. This is about the funniest story I can think of.

Two for one. Pretty good.

Come to find out, my "toilet" was not as secluded as I thought it to be. In fact, it was not secluded at all. My little alcove was walled in on 2 sides, and partially on a third. This left the fourth side uncovered.

This forth side faced the train platforms. And these train platforms were packed with people. All, evidently, watching me. As I later pieced together from different accounts, I took a dump (and mooned with a shitty ass) approximately one thousand citizens of Cluj-Napoca. That is why the police wanted me out.

And that, my friends, is how I was banned from Cluj-Napoca.

OMG! This is precious. I can't stop laughing!

Thank you for listening to my story. I appreciate at least two people reading the post that took twenty minutes to type.

Thank you for listening to my story. I appreciate at least two people reading the post that took twenty minutes to type.

Dude, that's epic drinking. I'm pretty sure your story takes the (delicious) cake.

This didnt happen to me, but my mates room mate, the most homophobic guy I know, got really hammered at a party and made out with 2 gay dudes. It was poetic justice.


And lawls.

This was during rush week of my senior year at college.

There was this girl I had been secretly in love with ever since freshman year. Unfortunately, she had been unavailable all that time, having hooked up with some guy a year ahead of us. We were friends, though ( :rolleyes: ), part of a group of students who took a lot of classes together.

At the end of junior year came the good news that her BF was going to take a job in a city half-way across the country. So, all that summer, I planned how I would take advantage of this opportunity and hook up with my dream girl.

Comes August and I'm back at the college, and a friend of mine (in the same group) is having a room-warming party because he's just built a new bar in his room. So I head over to the party and meet up with the crew and who shows up but my dream girl . . . and her f***ing boyfriend, who had decided not to move across the country after all :headbang:

There was only one thing to do: drown my sorrow. So, I proceeded to do as much damage to my buddy's liquor supply as I could. I started with six 7 & 7's, then proceeded to two tequilas, then two Yukon Jacks. That's where I lost count. Along with consciousness. This was on a Friday night, around 12:30am.

Fast-forward to Saturday afternoon, about 1:30pm. I returned to consciousness, or a close approximation thereof, to find myself lying on the floor of my room clutching the floor lamp next to me. I was massively hung-over and sick the rest of the weekend.

My buddies all clammed up about the incident and only told me bits and pieces of the true story throughout the rest of the year. It was only years later, IIRC at my 10th reunion (!) that I got the full story.

I was so plastered that I couldn't move, let alone walk. This was a problem because the scene of the party was on the other side of campus from my dorm. I was also a fairly big guy, not some little pipsqueak someone could throw over his shoulder. So, to get me back home, the crew decided that some kind of transport mechanism was needed. The mechanism of choice: an old refrigerator cart.

So they all loaded me onto the refrigerator cart and proceeded to cart me back to my dorm. Along the main street of the campus. With a full parade of other drunk, half-drunk and non-drunk students. And cameras :eek:

And of course, all along the way I'm babbling about you-know-who (times two).

When they got me to my dorm, there was another problem. They had to drag me up four flights of stairs. When they got to the fifth floor, they found they couldn't get the keys out of my pocket. So one of my pals at my dorm had to go out on the ledge and go in through my window to unlock the door. They must have left me off on my couch, after which I had attempted to climb into my loft bed, grabbed the floor lamp and wound up on the floor.

I gathered that the incident was notorious throughout campus. I never said anything to the girl who was the cause of it all, although I assumed she knew all about it, either from directly witnessing the spectacle, or getting reports from participants or others at the dorm (where she lived as well). In fact, when classes began, we were in another class together. The first day I must have still looked down, and she asked me if I was mad at her, which of course I denied. And that was the end of that discussion.

We actually remained friends and I've seen her at every subsequent reunion, the last two with her BF who she, of course, ended up marrying.

At the 10-year I finally saw one of the pictures. Just as well it took that long. And at my last reunion I learned that a few of my buddies were also blasted during the big parade and decided to do various wacky things as well.

I'm sure this incident will come up at every reunion we have left :cool:



This story is made of win, especially because this is honostly my friday nights. One of the guys I party with regularally gets hammered every firday night after 3 beers, having the tolerance of a 9 year old girl (but trying to impress everyone else always drinks more than he can handle) and then proceeds to phase in and out of conscieness babelling about the latest girl to have rejected him because hes a crappy bastard.

Hes a forgeiner. What can we expect? :p

This didnt happen to me, but my mates room mate, the most homophobic guy I know, got really hammered at a party and made out with 2 gay dudes. It was poetic justice.


And lawls.

You should have taken pictures. They might have proven useful...;)

This is really bad, but I once told the bouncer that my mate just collapsed in the club (he hadn't really) for teh lulz and loads of the staff rushed in there looking for him and told everyone to get off part of the dance floor so they could see a body but it was just one big wild goose chase, everyone was so angry so I just pegged it. I can't believe I actually did that.

Superb. Bouncer bashing, in whatever form it takes, is always to be advised.

The best I've managed thus far is downing three litres of vodka with a friend, climbing across a bridge closed due to instability, before we fall into the lovely lovely lake at the university of York and wake up the following morning with red pustules over ourselves. Somewhat nauseating even to think of, but hilarioues to watch from a distance I'm told.

I once threw a printer out of a second story window as a warning to all the other perhipals.

Okee. Well, first I must bump up this old story (http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showthread.php?t=455110).



I gotta hear the details from that story

If u guys wanna read some HILARIOUS drinking stories, then google Tucker Max

This story is made of win, especially because this is honostly my friday nights. One of the guys I party with regularally gets hammered every firday night after 3 beers, having the tolerance of a 9 year old girl (but trying to impress everyone else always drinks more than he can handle) and then proceeds to phase in and out of conscieness babelling about the latest girl to have rejected him because hes a crappy bastard.

Hes a forgeiner. What can we expect? :p

That's three positive comments in the last month or so. I may have to revise my ignore list ;)