NationStates Jolt Archive


Stop Uwe Boll.

[NS]Rolling squid
10-04-2008, 03:07
For those of you who don't know who Boll is, I think TV tropes (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UweBoll) explains it best. Well, it seems that someone but up a petition to get him to stop making movies. The great thing? he agreed, providing the petition gets 1,000,000 signatures. Of course, he also posted this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWqCNmfJ1hY&eurl=http://www.comicastle.com/foro/showthread.php?p=321224&posted=1) on youtube, so who knows what he's really going to do.

Anyways, the petition is here (http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html), it's already got about 150,000 of the needed signatures. Please, sign it and help rid the world of an eyesore.
Lunatic Goofballs
10-04-2008, 03:14
Oh, he'll have to go.
Andaluciae
10-04-2008, 03:33
He may not be a "fucking retard", but he is "batshit fucking insane."
Vetalia
10-04-2008, 03:42
Uwe Boll is awesome.
Mirkana
10-04-2008, 04:30
Uwe Boll is awesome.

*crowbars Vetalia to death*
Snafturi
10-04-2008, 04:32
Rolling squid;13596483']For those of you who don't know who Boll is, I think TV tropes (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UweBoll) explains it best. Well, it seems that someone but up a petition to get him to stop making movies. The great thing? he agreed, providing the petition gets 1,000,000 signatures. Of course, he also posted this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWqCNmfJ1hY&eurl=http://www.comicastle.com/foro/showthread.php?p=321224&posted=1) on youtube, so who knows what he's really going to do.

Anyways, the petition is here (http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html), it's already got about 150,000 of the needed signatures. Please, sign it and help rid the world of an eyesore.

It just feeds his ego and gives him validation. You're kidding yourself if you think he'll stop.
Copiosa Scotia
10-04-2008, 04:37
I've already signed. I know he probably won't stop, but damn, I want to believe it's true.
New Manvir
10-04-2008, 04:39
What about:

I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.

Or are you all a bunch of evil Godless-Commie-Nazi-Liberal-Islamofascist-Jewish-Gay-Witches that hate our liberty and freedom because you are jealous?
Snafturi
10-04-2008, 04:43
What about:



Or are you all a bunch of evil Commie-Nazi-Liberal-Islamofascist-Gay-Witches that hate freedom?

I'm a gay, nazi witch. What of it?
Klonor
10-04-2008, 04:47
If it stops more horrendous game-to-movie translations then hell yes, I'm an evil Godless-Commie-Nazi-Liberal-Islamofascist-Jewish-Gay-Witch who hates liberty and freedom.

Of course, it's actually not applicable since I am in no way forcing him to stop making movies, just saying I think he should, and it is he who has decreed that he will obery the will of the petition.
Lapse
10-04-2008, 08:40
Wow, that is an awesome marketing technique:

"If 1 million people sign this petition, I will stop making movies"

So, lets say 1 million people sign the petition. Worst case scenario, he has increased his viewership by several million. How?

Well, lets figure that half the people who watch a movie of his sign the poll. That makes 2 million extra views.
Now, lets figure that these 1 million people who did not sign the petition thought the movies were good. and we'll say that half of these people will recomend the movie to new people. Lets say 5 people per person. So, there you have 2.5 million people that have now heard of it, 1.25 million of which may watch it. Once again, half will refer to friends, and half will not that means another 3 millionish people will watch it.

There you have it: by getting 1 million people to sign this petition, he is effectively getting 6million people to watch his movies.

With those kind of figures he can say: "1 million people didn't like it, but 5 million did" and thus have a reason to continue making films.

He is a genius...
Gauthier
10-04-2008, 09:09
You know a video game is absolutely shitty if Uwe Boll refuses to make a movie out of it.
Gauthier
10-04-2008, 09:51
Or are you all a bunch of evil Godless-Commie-Nazi-Liberal-Islamofascist-Jewish-Gay-Witches that hate our liberty and freedom because you are jealous?

Repeat the following phrases out loud to yourself:

"Final Fantasy 7: Directed by Uwe Boll"
"Halo: Directed by Uwe Boll"
"Half-Life: Directed by Uwe Boll"
"Portal: Directed by Uwe Boll"
"Warcraft: Directed by Uwe Boll"


So on and so forth. Then ask yourself that question again.
Lapse
10-04-2008, 09:53
"Nationstates: Directed by Uwe Boll"

Oh god... Listening to a bunch of characters sit around and debate religion for 90 minutes... it would be horrible...
Venomous Cakes
10-04-2008, 09:55
"Nationstates: Directed by Uwe Boll"

Oh god... Listening to a bunch of characters sit around and debate religion for 90 minutes... it would be horrible...

In all likeliness it would probably end up being a 70 minutes long action flick.
Lapse
10-04-2008, 10:00
In all likeliness it would probably end up being a 70 minutes long action flick.

... relating to a debate over freedom of religion...
Venomous Cakes
10-04-2008, 10:01
... relating to a debate over freedom of religion...

With Uwe Boll directing?
New Manvir
10-04-2008, 20:16
In all likeliness it would probably end up being a 70 minutes long action flick.

with LG doing Clown-Fu

I call Christian Bale to play New Manvir.
Conserative Morality
10-04-2008, 21:09
OOH! OOH! Who plays me?

*Wikis Uwe Boll*

Ohhh... Him. Yeah, please make him retire! Alone in the dark royally sucked! The movie at least.
Brutland and Norden
10-04-2008, 21:13
"Nationstates: Directed by Uwe Boll"
No doubt, I will be played by an extra that will be pied, roasted, and eaten.

*Wikis Uew Boll*
You-Ew... teehee :p

Uwe Boll sounds like a pest for cotton plants.
[NS]Rolling squid
10-04-2008, 21:15
Wow, that is an awesome marketing technique:

"If 1 million people sign this petition, I will stop making movies"

So, lets say 1 million people sign the petition. Worst case scenario, he has increased his viewership by several million. How?

Well, lets figure that half the people who watch a movie of his sign the poll. That makes 2 million extra views.
Now, lets figure that these 1 million people who did not sign the petition thought the movies were good. and we'll say that half of these people will recomend the movie to new people. Lets say 5 people per person. So, there you have 2.5 million people that have now heard of it, 1.25 million of which may watch it. Once again, half will refer to friends, and half will not that means another 3 millionish people will watch it.

There you have it: by getting 1 million people to sign this petition, he is effectively getting 6million people to watch his movies.

With those kind of figures he can say: "1 million people didn't like it, but 5 million did" and thus have a reason to continue making films.

He is a genius...

that's where I disagree. If one million people hate his work enough to try to make him stop, they'll spread the word that he sucks, and less people will see his movies in the theatre, which is all that matters.
Tmutarakhan
10-04-2008, 23:48
"Nationstates: Directed by Uwe Boll"
I have an idea for a character. You see, I have this student named "Erica McPhail", and she's a good student, but ever since I started hanging around you guys, I can't see her name without reading it as "Epica McFail".
Dreilyn
11-04-2008, 00:18
Rolling squid;13596483']For those of you who don't know who Boll is, I think TV tropes (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UweBoll) explains it best. Well, it seems that someone but up a petition to get him to stop making movies.
No, this doesn't sound sensible to me. I'm not a huge fan of his films, but that's why I don't go to see them. I suggest those who support this petition do the same: the audience dollar is pretty much all the 'petition' a filmmaker needs.

If people still watch his movies, then he has an audience and is justified in making more movies. If everyone dislikes his films, then he'll either keep making them and no-one'll watch them, in which case they don't affect anyone anyway, or he'll pack it up by himself.
Gauthier
11-04-2008, 05:25
No, this doesn't sound sensible to me. I'm not a huge fan of his films, but that's why I don't go to see them. I suggest those who support this petition do the same: the audience dollar is pretty much all the 'petition' a filmmaker needs.

If people still watch his movies, then he has an audience and is justified in making more movies. If everyone dislikes his films, then he'll either keep making them and no-one'll watch them, in which case they don't affect anyone anyway, or he'll pack it up by himself.

Toilet Boll doesn't make shitty movie adaptations of video games in hopes of attracting a fan base. German tax laws basically let him and investors write off failed movies, in the manner of The Producers.
DrunkenDove
11-04-2008, 05:50
The man is a god.
Excelsior Deus
11-04-2008, 05:54
Interesting fact: His Dungeon Siege movie had more plot in it then the actual game itself.
Mirkana
11-04-2008, 05:55
The man is a god.

*shotgun*
Gauthier
11-04-2008, 05:57
*shotgun*

The sheer volley of firepower would have left a smudge by the time you chambered a shell.
Gauthier
11-04-2008, 05:59
The man is a god.

Yeah. Crapthulhu.