NationStates Jolt Archive

What is the best/worst excuse you have ever heard or even used?

Mine was from someone explaining why they hadn't returned the library books they had borrowed - they claimed that they had been stolen when they were teaching a class in a prison because the prisoners were chewing them up to make papier mache to cover up a tunnel they were digging.

Still don't know if it was true or not but I was so impressed by it that I didn't charge them for replacing the books.

Mine was from someone explaining why they hadn't returned the library books they had borrowed - they claimed that they had been stolen when they were teaching a class in a prison because the prisoners were chewing them up to make papier mache to cover up a tunnel they were digging.


A book appeared on our library shelves with a note on an A4 piece of paper wrapped around it.

The note purported to be from a criminal who had broken into the reader's (a student nurse) house and stolen a number of items. However when he realised he had stolen a library book he though he had better return it because, and I quote, "I know how hard life is for a student nurse."

Which raises a number of questions, but the manager chose not to press the issue :)


A more annoying one was (a different student nurse) a reader who brought their books back a year and a half late. Apparently it wasn't her fault because she'd been on holiday, got married and moved house. And quelle surprise, she'd forgotten her wallet so she couldn't pay her fine.

We should be able to hire bailiffs I swear.

We should be able to hire bailiffs I swear.

come to think of it I owe the library £5 from a year ago...and I like having thumbs :(

come to think of it I owe the library £5 from a year ago...and I like having thumbs :(

Pff. Small change :)

I'm thinking of amounts £100+

But it was more the complete and utter rudeness and arrogance of some people.

come to think of it I owe the library £5 from a year ago...and I like having thumbs :(

Modern librarians prefer waterboarding...

Modern librarians prefer waterboarding...

It's political correctness gone mad! We're no longer allowed to crucify people by the reference section as an example to others :mad:




:)

It's political correctness gone mad! We're no longer allowed to crucify people by the reference section as an example to others :mad:




:)

...or crush them in the rolling stacks...:D

...or crush them in the rolling stacks...:D

I know! How are we meant to keep them properly lubricated now!

Many, many, many years ago I used to be butcher, one saterday after work I brought a bag of meat home, and placed it on top of the fridge for a few mins while I soorted out some room for it inside the fridge, unbeknownst to me it leaked out a bit of blood onto my little brothers music homework.

Yep thats right latter that evening the dog got at it, and chewed the buggery out of the book, so my brother had to go to shcool and proclaim that the dog eat his homework.

Many, many, many years ago I used to be butcher, one saterday after work I brought a bag of meat home, and placed it on top of the fridge for a few mins while I soorted out some room for it inside the fridge, unbeknownst to me it leaked out a bit of blood onto my little brothers music homework.

Yep thats right latter that evening the dog got at it, and chewed the buggery out of the book, so my brother had to go to shcool and proclaim that the dog eat his homework.

Awesome ! :P

You librarians are scary.

Ermarian;13591814']You librarians are scary.

don't re-shelf books, don't turn them in late, and quit dog earing the pages, and we'll all be fine. *not that I'm a real librarian, I just used to volunteer one night a week.


my best excuse ever was "I'm late for work because I got hit by a car", and I really did...I was walking in a parking lot to my car and this old lady (with no working brake lights!) backed over me. I was fine, but her lawyer (who she was on the phone with while not watching where she was going) told her to call 911 and make me go to the hospital. I left AMA to go to work. I ended up with gravel burn, a sprained wrist and a ripped pair of pants) grr....

also my boss didn't believe me until hubby brought her the ER bill so I was written up for about 3 weeks, but it got taken off my record.

I once broke up with a girl saying it wasn't her, it wasn't even me, it was my friends, they just didn't like her.

She didn't actually like my friends so she could understand but, in all honesty, it really was her.

I once broke up with a girl, saying it just wasn't working and all that. Truth was, about halfway through the relationship I forgot her name and couldn't figure out a clever way to find out. (And I realized that if I couldn't be arsed to remember her name I must not have liked her all that much.)

I once broke up with a girl, saying it just wasn't working and all that. Truth was, about halfway through the relationship I forgot her name and couldn't figure out a clever way to find out. (And I realized that if I couldn't be arsed to remember her name I must not have liked her all that much.)

That is so awesome. :D

come to think of it I owe the library £5 from a year ago...and I like having thumbs :(

You don't have to brag about it. Jerk. :(

Also, how many librarians do we have here, anyway? I thought I was the only one. :p Neat!

I once broke up with a girl, saying it just wasn't working and all that. Truth was, about halfway through the relationship I forgot her name and couldn't figure out a clever way to find out. (And I realized that if I couldn't be arsed to remember her name I must not have liked her all that much.)

lol Yeah that happened to me once I got this chicks number one night when I was in a pub and when I called her i couldn't remember her name so I just said hey or you or what ever I managed for three weeks not knowing her name before one of her friends mentioned it. Of course we broke up about three weeks later but oh well.

You don't have to brag about it. Jerk. :(

Also, how many librarians do we have here, anyway? I thought I was the only one. :p Neat!

You too! Yay!

Well that makes three on this thread. Four if we include Smunkeeville.

And IIRC Cabra West said she was one. (Previously iirc).

Who knows how many other maybe in the woodwork..?

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/9/9f/Librarian_(Discworld).jpg/230px-Librarian_(Discworld).jpg

don't re-shelf books, don't turn them in late, and quit dog earing the pages, and we'll all be fine.

Just remember. It's a high stress job (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/4605476.stm)



(apparently, though there is probably a similar news story for every profession. I'm sure I've even seen an article that says it is the least stressful job.)

What is the best/worst excuse you have ever heard or even used?


I had to take my pet rock to the vet to be put down.

I confess... When my university library declared amnesty for all book hoggers, I decided to finally turn in a book after nine years. I had an excuse but the look the librarian gave me has permanently damaged the place in my brain where it was stored.
I never dared to enter any library since then.