NationStates Jolt Archive

One thing I noticed while I was away at State Latin Forum was that, although the idea of having four students in a room with two beds is for two students to share each bed, the guys in our group didn't like this idea and it ended up being one in each bed, one on the floor, and one in a chair. This was true even though two of the guys are brothers. But none of the girls had any trouble sharing a bed with another girl. The main problem in our room was just whether to have the air conditioner make the room cold or leave the room warm, but sharing the beds was never an issue.

My brothers said vaguely that "It's different for guys". Apparently even brothers can't share a bed with each other. They have no problem, however, if my family is staying at a hotel in one room and they have to share a bed with me.

Why is this? Is this common in other guys too or is this something unusual to the four guys mentioned? Is it a fear of "seeming gay" that is more present in guys than in girls? Or is it something else?

One thing I noticed while I was away at State Latin Forum was that, although the idea of having four students in a room with two beds is for two students to share each bed, the guys in our group didn't like this idea and it ended up being one in each bed, one on the floor, and one in a chair. This was true even though two of the guys are brothers. But none of the girls had any trouble sharing a bed with another girl. The main problem in our room was just whether to have the air conditioner make the room cold or leave the room warm, but sharing the beds was never an issue.

My brothers said vaguely that "It's different for guys". Apparently even brothers can't share a bed with each other. They have no problem, however, if my family is staying at a hotel in one room and they have to share a bed with me.

Why is this? Is this common in other guys too or is this something unusual to the four guys mentioned? Is it a fear of "seeming gay" that is more present in guys than in girls? Or is it something else?


Meh I dunno, I can't say this has ever happend to me, I have no problems sharing a bed.

It's all, you know, eww and stuff. And if you're just eager to jump into bed with another guy... well, we all KNOW what THAT means! :p

It's more of a teenage male thing where you are made to be terrified of showing ANY signs of homosexuality for a wide range of reasons. Most of us grow out of it after a few road trips in college.

Oddly enough I still don't like sharing a bed, but that has more to do with the fact that I tend to migrate across the bed in my sleep, toss, turn, do jumping jacks, etc. and I always feel bad for the poor fool who has to put up with that.

Is it a fear of "seeming gay" that is more present in guys than in girls?

Yes.

Meh I dunno, I can't say this has ever happend to me, I have no problems sharing a bed.

Do you think it's different for teenaged guys?

One word: Flatulence.
2 guys in one bed = dutch oven supreme.
4 guys, 2 beds? none would survive the night.

Do you think it's different for teenaged guys?

Could well be, could just be a peer group thing for the OP. In all honesty It never bothered me nor my own peer group when we were teenagers, so I wonder just how prevalent this mindset is?

Why is this? Is this common in other guys too or is this something unusual to the four guys mentioned? Is it a fear of "seeming gay" that is more present in guys than in girls?
No, I think that's pretty much it. Males, for some reason I don't pretend to understand, traditionally have a far greater fear of being thought gay. Many men wouldn't want to share a bed with another man any more than they'd hold hands with one.

Women just don't seem to have this concern that, if they walk down a street arm-in-arm with a female friend, someone they've never met before and probably won't again might assume they're lesbians.

I don't say it's even down to the particular man, either - some people assume that it's down to homophobia, which is in turn down to suppressed homosexuality, blah blah blah pop-psychobabble FTW... But in reality it's just social conditioning: it's something that men Just Don't Do. Even so, it's not universal: European men are generally far more comfortable with each other than British or American men - French and Italian men quite happily kiss each other in friendship, and nobody bats an eyelid or makes any assumptions about them - and even if someone does, why should they care?

On the other hand, social conditioning and conventions change over time, and Peepelonia (who I assume is a guy) has already said he's no problem with it. For a start, people are realising that it doesn't really matter a damn whether someone thinks you're gay anyway. Most people have better things to occupy their time than trying to analyse their acquaintances' sexual preferences.

It's all, you know, eww and stuff. And if you're just eager to jump into bed with another guy... well, we all KNOW what THAT means! :p


That's why, whenever I wanted my own bed, I would always ask my roommates one question: "So, who here is the most open-minded?"

Fear of appearing gay is probably part of it, but I think boys are also just less comfortable being close (literally). I still have a fairly large "personal bubble."

That's why, whenever I wanted my own bed, I would always ask my roommates one question: "So, who here is the most open-minded?"

Fear of appearing gay is probably part of it, but I think boys are also just less comfortable being close (literally). I still have a fairly large "personal bubble."
I'd think so too, except that my boys that I teach here in Japan are literally crawling over each other.

I recently had to share a bed with a work colleague on a trip to India due to poor planning (luckily it was only for one night before we moved on).
We walked into the room, spotted the one (small) bed and sheepishly looked at eachother.

My phone call home to the wife that night went along the lines of

"Yes dear, I'm fine. I'm in bed with Kam watching Rocky Balboa in Hindi drinking a Kingfisher beer"

I hope to never have to say those words again

One thing I noticed while I was away at State Latin Forum was that, although the idea of having four students in a room with two beds is for two students to share each bed, the guys in our group didn't like this idea and it ended up being one in each bed, one on the floor, and one in a chair. This was true even though two of the guys are brothers. But none of the girls had any trouble sharing a bed with another girl. The main problem in our room was just whether to have the air conditioner make the room cold or leave the room warm, but sharing the beds was never an issue.

My brothers said vaguely that "It's different for guys". Apparently even brothers can't share a bed with each other. They have no problem, however, if my family is staying at a hotel in one room and they have to share a bed with me.

Why is this? Is this common in other guys too or is this something unusual to the four guys mentioned? Is it a fear of "seeming gay" that is more present in guys than in girls? Or is it something else?

DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING! DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!

Observe the young men and young women at your school and do a casual mental tally of how many times the words "gay, fag, homo", and the like are used and how many times you see people calling other peoples' sexuality into question. I'll wager a substantial amount that the ratio of boys so doing to girls is at LEAST 4 to 1. The combination of needing to belong and homosexuality being seen as a fairly dramatic way to not belong, coupled with peer pressure and reinforcement from popular culture (and in many cases, parents) is very strong.

One word: Flatulence.
2 guys in one bed = dutch oven supreme.
4 guys, 2 beds? none would survive the night.

Holy cow is that ever true. I walked into one of my guy's rooms to shake them out of bed one morning on a choir tour and the place smelled like a methyl mercaptan factory.

As a male in choirs since age 12, I've had to share rooms with three other guys for about two decades. In my first two years of college, I was the only one who'd sleep in the room claimed by my choirs three "out" men. None of the other dozen guys would do it, and I made three very good friends as a result. It's really not a problem for anyone with, well, a mind, really.

Did any of the guys go on frequent school trips that involved hotel stays? I don't remember ever hearing about it being much of a problem on band trips when I was in high school, except for the fighting over who would sleep in the bed with whomever had most recently been dubbed "gay".

I'd think so too, except that my boys that I teach here in Japan are literally crawling over each other.

I think the prevalence of Kancho has something to do with it. :p

One word: Flatulence.
2 guys in one bed = dutch oven supreme.
4 guys, 2 beds? none would survive the night.

So how do gay guys survive? Are you saying that gay men don't fart?

It's all, you know, eww and stuff. And if you're just eager to jump into bed with another guy... well, we all KNOW what THAT means! :p

It's more of a teenage male thing where you are made to be terrified of showing ANY signs of homosexuality for a wide range of reasons. Most of us grow out of it after a few road trips in college.

Oddly enough I still don't like sharing a bed, but that has more to do with the fact that I tend to migrate across the bed in my sleep, toss, turn, do jumping jacks, etc. and I always feel bad for the poor fool who has to put up with that.

Nah, I think they never, ever loose that.
It's funny, I've been looking at some swinging pages lately, and most of the ladies will call themselves at least bi-curious, while most of the guys feel the need to really, REALLY stress that they are not. Looking at a good 50 couples there was exactly one where the guy was bi, and one where the girl wasn't.

I once told my Bf that I like the sight of two men snogging... completely incomprehensible to him. And despite being bi-curious he wouldn't consider kissing another man, cause "that would make him look gay".

It's a really big issue, apparently. But then, if you look at all the negative remarks being made daily about gays, all the poor jokes and stereotypes, it's no wonder many guys are scared shitless to let so much as a doubt fall onto their reputation. Girls being into girls, on the other hand, well, not so much of a stigma, is it?

I'm the same way as NERVUN. I'd run over another person in my bed like a steamroller. I always end up awake most of the night if there's a woman in my bed because I'm concerned that I'll roll over her if I fall asleep.

I used to sleep in the same bed as my brother, and that was fine, because I didn't move around the bed as much when I was younger.

I've slept in the same bed as my brother, I didn't really mind. Nowadays I don't really like being close to people in general so I'd probably try to avoid it.

And a related question: do guys have a problem sharing a room with girls, or vice versa? In general room sharing is done as separate sexes, but I've never had a problem not doing that and others have thought it odd.

I used to share a bed with male friends from time to time when they'd sleep over, until we grew too large to be comfortable on my small mattress.

I dunno maybe my friends and I are different but if I had to spend the night with 3 of them in a room with 2 beds, I'd avoid sleeping next to one of them out of fear of having some kind of prank played on us, like being positioned in a snuggling pose and photographed or warm water poured strategically to make it seem like one had wet the bed and gotten it on the other. I mean, sure pranks can be played on someobody solo but at least crashing out in the chair limits the options for your opponents...

;)

My roomies are twin guys. On a trip we shared a hotel room and it had two double beds. Rather than share a bed, the guys took turns sleeping on the floor. :rolleyes:

I used to share a bed with male friends from time to time when they'd sleep over, until we grew too large to be comfortable on my small mattress.

I dunno maybe my friends and I are different but if I had to spend the night with 3 of them in a room with 2 beds, I'd avoid sleeping next to one of them out of fear of having some kind of prank played on us, like being positioned in a snuggling pose and photographed or warm water poured strategically to make it seem like one had wet the bed and gotten it on the other. I mean, sure pranks can be played on someobody solo but at least crashing out in the chair limits the options for your opponents...

;)

You underestimate me. ... I mean... your opponents. ;)

You underestimate me. ... I mean... your opponents. ;)

I acknowledge that in an open prank war with you, I'd be pwned. That's why I'd just get a separate room ;)

Why is this? Is this common in other guys too or is this something unusual to the four guys mentioned? Is it a fear of "seeming gay" that is more present in guys than in girls? Or is it something else?

I've shared a bed with my friends, I have no problems with it, actually it was fun, we laughed a lot. I don't know if I would share a bed with a guy I don't know though, or share a bed if it's to small.

similar thing happened to me in Ottawa. 3 guys, 1 one room, 2 beds. So one of my friends brought along a sleeping bag.

something icky about it. for me its not the gay thing (i've shared my sleeping bag with a friend who really needed it out camping (his bag was soaking wet and he was getting hypothermia)), its just something seems wrong about it that i can't put my finger on.

Is it a fear of "seeming gay" that is more present in guys than in girls?
Yes.

Why is this? Is this common in other guys too or is this something unusual to the four guys mentioned? Is it a fear of "seeming gay" that is more present in guys than in girls? Or is it something else?

dunno about other guys, but I tend to toss and turn and many a bedmate told me of the times I punched and kicked them in my sleep.

so to spare others, I sleep alone, even if it means sleeping on the ground or in the bathroom. :p

tho if offered, I don't mind sharing a bed with anyone. I think I no longer toss and turn...

Nah, I think they never, ever loose that.
It's funny, I've been looking at some swinging pages lately, and most of the ladies will call themselves at least bi-curious, while most of the guys feel the need to really, REALLY stress that they are not. Looking at a good 50 couples there was exactly one where the guy was bi, and one where the girl wasn't.

I once told my Bf that I like the sight of two men snogging... completely incomprehensible to him. And despite being bi-curious he wouldn't consider kissing another man, cause "that would make him look gay".

It's a really big issue, apparently. But then, if you look at all the negative remarks being made daily about gays, all the poor jokes and stereotypes, it's no wonder many guys are scared shitless to let so much as a doubt fall onto their reputation. Girls being into girls, on the other hand, well, not so much of a stigma, is it?

Not trying to usurp bf, but Cabby, I would SO snog a man if you liked to see it.

something icky about it. for me its not the gay thing (i've shared my sleeping bag with a friend who really needed it out camping (his bag was soaking wet and he was getting hypothermia)), its just something seems wrong about it that i can't put my finger on.

That's not a finger!!!!

That's not a finger!!!!

i knew i shouldn't have used that phrase :D

One thing I noticed while I was away at State Latin Forum was that, although the idea of having four students in a room with two beds is for two students to share each bed, the guys in our group didn't like this idea and it ended up being one in each bed, one on the floor, and one in a chair. This was true even though two of the guys are brothers. But none of the girls had any trouble sharing a bed with another girl. The main problem in our room was just whether to have the air conditioner make the room cold or leave the room warm, but sharing the beds was never an issue.

My brothers said vaguely that "It's different for guys". Apparently even brothers can't share a bed with each other. They have no problem, however, if my family is staying at a hotel in one room and they have to share a bed with me.

Why is this? Is this common in other guys too or is this something unusual to the four guys mentioned? Is it a fear of "seeming gay" that is more present in guys than in girls? Or is it something else?

I suspect the main problem is that a warm body nestling against you while you are asleep has the potential of stirring a physical reaction that you have no control over.

Girls don't have to worry so much about their girlfriends waking up to feel an erection pressing into their ass...

My brothers said vaguely that "It's different for guys". Apparently even brothers can't share a bed with each other. They have no problem, however, if my family is staying at a hotel in one room and they have to share a bed with me.

Why is this? Is this common in other guys too or is this something unusual to the four guys mentioned? Is it a fear of "seeming gay" that is more present in guys than in girls? Or is it something else?

Seeming gay is forbidden. Seeming incestuous is alright, though.

DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING! DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!DING!

Observe the young men and young women at your school and do a casual mental tally of how many times the words "gay, fag, homo", and the like are used and how many times you see people calling other peoples' sexuality into question. I'll wager a substantial amount that the ratio of boys so doing to girls is at LEAST 4 to 1. The combination of needing to belong and homosexuality being seen as a fairly dramatic way to not belong, coupled with peer pressure and reinforcement from popular culture (and in many cases, parents) is very strong.


I have noticed that, especially when I'm with freshmen, as I am in my French class. It does mostly seem to be the guys, although some of the girls do it, too. My brothers don't seem to do that very much, but I don't usually see them when they're around their friends.

My parents were both chaperoning and also thought that it was silly that my brothers wouldn't share a bed. I mean, at home they share a bedroom, although they have separate beds.

It also must have been really smelly in that room, too, as both of my brothers refused to take showers in the hotel and slept in the same clothes that they wore each day.

My roomies are twin guys. On a trip we shared a hotel room and it had two double beds. Rather than share a bed, the guys took turns sleeping on the floor. :rolleyes:

Yeah, my brothers are twins, too. They didn't even take turns. The same one slept on the floor both nights.

One word: Flatulence.
2 guys in one bed = dutch oven supreme.
4 guys, 2 beds? none would survive the night.

This.

Why is this? Is this common in other guys too or is this something unusual to the four guys mentioned? Is it a fear of "seeming gay" that is more present in guys than in girls? Or is it something else?

I think that is the general notion. I should point out an interesting counter example; back when I was in college (not exactly when dinosaurs roamed the earth but I'm going to my 25th college reunion this year) the freshman dorm had one floor for the guys and one floor for the gals. The floor for the gals had individual showers; the floor for the guys had group showers.

So why did the female floor have individual showers? Was there something strange about two or three girls taking a shower together?

Simply put people are strange.

dunno about other guys, but I tend to toss and turn and many a bedmate told me of the times I punched and kicked them in my sleep.
so to spare others, I sleep alone, even if it means sleeping on the ground or in the bathroom. :p

tho if offered, I don't mind sharing a bed with anyone. I think I no longer toss and turn...

I remember camping a couple of years ago. There were 4 of us crushed into a 3 man tent. One of the guys I was camping with spent the entire night kneeing me in the spine. It also didnt help that the 2nd guy squeaked in his sleep and the 3rd talked russian in his sleep. Not a very restfull night. So yeah, I would agree that guys tend to be fairly restless sleepers.

Because our society has deemed it OK for women to sleep together but not men. When lesbians kiss, it's cool. When gay men kiss, it's disgusting.

I have no problem sharing a bed with another man and I have done so a few times with other men who also didn't have that problem. But most of the time one person sleeps on the floor and the other on the bed, and we alternate every night. It's silly.

the 3rd talked russian in his sleep.

The fuck?

Myself and the rest of the guys in my choir really don't make a big deal about it. There's sort of an unspoken line down the middle of the bed that doesn't get crossed.

Of course in a cold gym up in Canada, we grab the wrestling mats, line up our sleeping bags like sardines and spoon until the homoeroticism goes off the charts. It's like an arms race of "who can make everyone else uncomfortable", except no one is willing to lose.

:(

Personally, I wouldn't do it because I'd feel as if the other guy was getting in on my turf, if you know what I mean. Besides, I barely fit into beds as it is. Sleeping on the floor would literally be more comfortable than sharing a bed with someone else, male or female.

Probably afraid they'll wake up with morning wood spooned up against their buddy's ass.

I hate sharing my bed period. Put me down with NER and Hotrodia.


It isn't really a gay thing in question...it's more a personal space. Guys tend to be less comfortable being in close contact with anyone...I've noticed girls are much more "touchy", whereas guys tend to stand a little further apart.

Some also has to do with the risk of rubbing a boner against your friend...it can be a bit awkward.

i knew i shouldn't have used that phrase :D

Well, you open a door like that, you gotta expect someone to walk through it! ;)

Myself and the rest of the guys in my choir really don't make a big deal about it. There's sort of an unspoken line down the middle of the bed that doesn't get crossed.

Of course in a cold gym up in Canada, we grab the wrestling mats, line up our sleeping bags like sardines and spoon until the homoeroticism goes off the charts. It's like an arms race of "who can make everyone else uncomfortable", except no one is willing to lose.

:(

LOL! I have been on that tour, in the same type of gym in Alaska.

young guys (12-15) think it makes them look uncool and stuff, though wouldn't these guys be 18 and thus my advanced age?! (I'm uber sacred because I turn 20 next year in November :()

I myself would rather sleep snuggled with a guy than alone in some cold hotel bed (unless its a single in which case I choose death before the cramped torture)

Myself and the rest of the guys in my choir really don't make a big deal about it.

well you know what they say about choir boys :p (it explains the hairstyles)

I once told my Bf that I like the sight of two men snogging... completely incomprehensible to him. And despite being bi-curious he wouldn't consider kissing another man, cause "that would make him look gay".

I have always found this reaction more from women oddly

well you know what they say about choir boys :p (it explains the hairstyles)

What? I'm balding. So?

--pause--

STOP LOOKING AT MEEEEEE!!! *sobs*

Yup. Odd hairstyles on the male singers, thinning hair on male choir directors.

Teenage boys are so odd. As a straight girl, I have cuddled with both male and female friends on many occasions, and I find it utterly silly that anyone would find merely sleeping in the same bed as someone else scary. Silly, silly teenage boys.

Nah, I think they never, ever loose that.
Er, sorry. I mean most guys get over the not-sharing-a-bed thing. Either they end up in the military where you don't have much of a choice in sleeping conditions, or they manage to get the same experience when going on trips for the same reasons.

That's how I got over it, I traveled around with my university for various things and we always ended up having to pack in a number of us into tiny rooms where there just wasn't any extra space for that.

Though I did get complaints the next morning about being so restless in bed and driving my bed partner out of the bed a few times. :D

It's funny, I've been looking at some swinging pages lately, and most of the ladies will call themselves at least bi-curious, while most of the guys feel the need to really, REALLY stress that they are not. Looking at a good 50 couples there was exactly one where the guy was bi, and one where the girl wasn't.
I know, oddly enough many guys are more than fine with the notion of two girls plus them but damned if you can get them to consider two guys and a girl.

It's a really big issue, apparently. But then, if you look at all the negative remarks being made daily about gays, all the poor jokes and stereotypes, it's no wonder many guys are scared shitless to let so much as a doubt fall onto their reputation. Girls being into girls, on the other hand, well, not so much of a stigma, is it?
Naw... that's just HOT! ;) I think it might also have something to do with masculinity and appearing to be a *ahem* manly man. Manly men of course are REAL men who don't bother with lovemaking, they conquer women in bed, many times, and many women. Manly men also can't be seen to enjoy any of the finer things in life, they must be rugged and tougher than nails, and as we all know gays are weak and effeminate so therefore...

*sighs* Gotta love pointless and baseless stereotypes. :(

I think, like someone already mentioned, it's just a personal space thing. In general men are a lot less open than women. Guys usually just aren't comfortable being close with other guys. I think it might be a little different with brothers, but I only have sisters, so I don't really know.

Also, I think that scene from the movie Trains, Planes, and Automobiles where John Candy shares a bed with Steve Martin sums it up well.

"Where's you other hand?"
"Between two pillows"
"Those aren't two pillows!"

So how do gay guys survive? Are you saying that gay men don't fart?

I'm guessing it's the same theory as noise suppressors for firearms. Gas gets dispersed evenly instead of in a concentrated package that makes a lot of noise.

I have no trouble sleeping with women or men. Sleeping is not the same thing as sex; they are different bodily functions.

So how do gay guys survive? Are you saying that gay men don't fart?

They are use to that type of smell? ;)

In my opinion I think it is just a teenage boy thing. As guys get older there isn't so much of the worry. In the military on training or when I was actually deployed there were guys huddled together to stay warm in the desert nights. We couldn't really sleep in our tanks so we just slept next to them all crowded together to stay warm. We all stunk and it didn't phase any one of us. No screaming about who was gay or not.

One thing I noticed while I was away at State Latin Forum was that, although the idea of having four students in a room with two beds is for two students to share each bed, the guys in our group didn't like this idea and it ended up being one in each bed, one on the floor, and one in a chair. This was true even though two of the guys are brothers. But none of the girls had any trouble sharing a bed with another girl. The main problem in our room was just whether to have the air conditioner make the room cold or leave the room warm, but sharing the beds was never an issue.

My brothers said vaguely that "It's different for guys". Apparently even brothers can't share a bed with each other. They have no problem, however, if my family is staying at a hotel in one room and they have to share a bed with me.

Why is this? Is this common in other guys too or is this something unusual to the four guys mentioned? Is it a fear of "seeming gay" that is more present in guys than in girls? Or is it something else?

Personally me and my brothers are tall and lanky enough we would not fit in a bed together the space is of more comfort to me then the bed

That being said its an interesting observation, specially with other seeming gender related shyness situations (for example group showers where we had to put up shower curtains for camps and such turning the girls "group" showers into individuals while there was no need for the guys side)

Meh

It's not really the fact that we're in the same bed. It's mostly the fact that we (meaning me and at least one other) could wake up and find our bodies spooning or something like that.

It is different for guys, and it all involves two words, morning Wood. No guy want to wake up to morning wood that another guy is having! :p

It is different for guys, and it all involves two words, morning Wood. No guy want to wake up to morning wood that another guy is having! :p

That would lead to a cumbersome situation. What would be bad is waking up to that and the guy is spooning you. That wouldn't be good but a great picture to hold over someones head. Pardon the pun.

I'd rather sleep on the floor than share a bed with another guy. I move around a lot when I sleep, so I like my space. Also, as Wilgrove said, I wouldn't want to wake up to another guy's morning wood.

It is different for guys, and it all involves two words, morning Wood. No guy want to wake up to morning wood that another guy is having! :p

It does beg the question why some men are willing to share a bed with their sister.

For me it depends on the size of the bed. If it's a twin, that's a no go, but anything queen+ I'm fine sharing a bed with a guy. It obviously isn't my favorite situation, but seriously, it's not that big a deal.

It does beg the question why some men are willing to share a bed with their sister.

Incest: Fun for the whole family! Why even Grandma can play!

I am a sick sick sick man, I know. :D

Incest: Fun for the whole family! Why even Grandma can play!

I am a sick sick sick man, I know. :D


ever heard about the aristocrats?

ever heard about the aristocrats?

Yea, they practiced Incest to keep the bloodline pure. Do they still do that?

Yea, they practiced Incest to keep the bloodline pure. Do they still do that?
About as much as pedigree dogs.

It does beg the question why some men are willing to share a bed with their sister.

Because that may be quite less embarassing. As an automatic masculine physical reaction to female. Ewww, but understandable.

There is no automatic masculine physical 'wooden' reaction to another guy. Unless you are gay.

Well, interesting you should say that actually. Last weekend I stayed at a friends place. There were a bunch of us in the same room, not much space. So my friend (who is flagrantly gay) suggested I share the bed with him. At first, I was shocked. I hadn't even considered it, I figured I'd find a space on the floor. But when I thought about it, there was no good reason to not. I share beds, even sleeping bags, completely platonically with straight girls. Why should it be different with guys? So I did. And while it was a TAD awkward in the morning, it didn't take long to realise that yes, we both were males, and both had appendages. Big deal.

So yeah, I have no problem with it, but it seems socially ingrained that its not the done thing.

Not trying to usurp bf, but Cabby, I would SO snog a man if you liked to see it.




Hehe... too bad you're not in Ireland, though...

I have always found this reaction more from women oddly

Why? Most of the guys on here would soil their pants if they saw two girls snogging... why is it weird that I'd find two guys hot?

Why? Most of the guys on here would soil their pants if they saw two girls snogging... why is it weird that I'd find two guys hot?

its just out of my personal experience, midlands girls and the like I guess

either I'm hideous, the taboo of man on man is still present or they are jealous (guess which one I choose :p)

its just out of my personal experience, midlands girls and the like I guess

either I'm hideous, the taboo of man on man is still present or they are jealous (guess which one I choose :p)

Meh, I'm no beauty queen either. What's that got to do with it? ;)

Meh, I'm no beauty queen either. What's that got to do with it? ;)

you had me at no :p

*OP*

TEH COCK is scarier. :p

Women can't accidentally stab each other during the night...with whatever girlie parts they have.
But seriously, I have slept with plenty of beds with guys. I don't think there's a big deal, but some guys just have a fear of getting impaled with a meat pole in the middle of the night.

As a man, I am very much aware of what sort of hygiene 'standards' are considered acceptable for other men. No way in hell I'm getting into bed with one!

Women can't accidentally stab each other during the night...with whatever girlie parts they have.
But seriously, I have slept with plenty of beds with guys. I don't think there's a big deal, but some guys just have a fear of getting impaled with a meat pole in the middle of the night.

Still the same question, though... why is it unacceptable for a guy to be touched by a stiffy, but not for a girl to be touched by a boob?

Still the same question, though... why is it unacceptable for a guy to be touched by a stiffy, but not for a girl to be touched by a boob?
Er... possibly because unless said woman is lactating there's very, very little chance for something being discharged?

Er... possibly because unless said woman is lactating there's very, very little chance for something being discharged?

How old are we talking here? I would assume most who posted "Ugh, ick, no way!" are well beyond the adolescent "bed-wetting" age.

How old are we talking here? I would assume most who posted "Ugh, ick, no way!" are well beyond the adolescent "bed-wetting" age.
Damned if I know. I'm still trying to figure out how someone is supposed to end up, ah, 'impaled with a meat pole' when I would assume that both would be wearing SOME sort of PJs, even if just boxers and no matter our own egos, it just ain't THAT hard. Not to mention the whole problem of how the hell does that happen by accident? The positions are rather off.

Damned if I know. I'm still trying to figure out how someone is supposed to end up, ah, 'impaled with a meat pole' when I would assume that both would be wearing SOME sort of PJs, even if just boxers and no matter our own egos, it just ain't THAT hard. Not to mention the whole problem of how the hell does that happen by accident? The positions are rather off.

I think this sort of thing only happens in rather boring and stereotypical teeny movies... you know, the "American Pie" sort of thing.
Maybe they're to blame so?

I'd be fine with it if (a) the bed was designed to fit two people anyway and (b) the other guy was also a sound sleeper -- i.e. didn't move around much, snore, or talk in his sleep -- and had reasonable standards of hygiene. Same goes for females.

I mean, ordinarily I'd try to avoid it, because I require my personal space; but if I had to, I'd be capable of it.

Also, what factors contribute to "morning wood"? I only get it infrequently.

Because that may be quite less embarassing. As an automatic masculine physical reaction to female. Ewww, but understandable.

There is no automatic masculine physical 'wooden' reaction to another guy. Unless you are gay.

Last time I checked getting a woody does not require you to be aroused by lust. Plenty of teens get erection while being examined by a doctor or when having to give a presentation in front of a class.

It must have been a crappy establishment that compelled you to share beds, but that's something of a tangent.

I must confess, assuming Chandelier's between 14 and 17, I wouldn't have shared a bed at that age. I cannot articulate with any great accuracy or eloquence why, I simply would not have been comfortable doing so.

Still the same question, though... why is it unacceptable for a guy to be touched by a stiffy, but not for a girl to be touched by a boob?

Because I have no intention in touching a stiffy unless we're talking about stiff nipples on a woman's breast.

It must have been a crappy establishment that compelled you to share beds, but that's something of a tangent.

I must confess, assuming Chandelier's between 14 and 17, I wouldn't have shared a bed at that age. I cannot articulate with any great accuracy or eloquence why, I simply would not have been comfortable doing so.

I'm 18, but the guys I'm talking about are 15-17 (my brothers are both 15 and the other two guys are either sophomores or juniors, so probably 16 or 17).

I snuggle with both males and females, and a lot of my male friends snuggle with each other too (or at least hug), and they don't mind. I know a lot of guys would rather not sleep at all than sleep in bed with another man... But my boyfriend has slept in the same bed with both girls and boys (at the same time), because he has a big bed and they needed to crash at his place, and no one seemed to mind there :\ And my boyfriend is bi (and kissed another guy in front of his entire class, so they most likely know). But then again... I know strange people =P

I find two guys together cute too, just like two girls together (if they REALLY like each other and don't do it in the Girls Gone Wild kinda way, anyways).

I guess it's why straight girls like boylove, and straight guys like girlove (although I've know quite a few who don't like REAL lesbians :rolleyes:)... There's no one to get jealous of! =D

Er... possibly because unless said woman is lactating there's very, very little chance for something being discharged?
Which reminds me of a joke. A fellow called his organ "Dick Cheney", for various reasons he said, like "spends most of the time in an undisclosed location", but the #1 reason: accidentally shot a friend in the face once!

I snuggle with both males and females, and a lot of my male friends snuggle with each other too (or at least hug), and they don't mind. I know a lot of guys would rather not sleep at all than sleep in bed with another man... But my boyfriend has slept in the same bed with both girls and boys (at the same time), because he has a big bed and they needed to crash at his place, and no one seemed to mind there :\ And my boyfriend is bi (and kissed another guy in front of his entire class, so they most likely know). But then again... I know strange people =P

I find two guys together cute too, just like two girls together (if they REALLY like each other and don't do it in the Girls Gone Wild kinda way, anyways).

I guess it's why straight girls like boylove, and straight guys like girlove (although I've know quite a few who don't like REAL lesbians :rolleyes:)... There's no one to get jealous of! =D

Bisexuals? People who aren't attracted to one another but will sleep with each other!?

What in the world is that!?

Boy do you know strange people.

(so does almost everone else)

I've never thought of it as strange to sleep in beds with other people. Guys are just... I don't know. I guess they're a bit more insecure and cover that up by acting "manly".

Oh, c'mon, you guys do not fondle each other, we girls do, although.

We love to go to the bathroom in groups, or at least in pairs, you prefer to do it alone.

The bed thing is the lesser thing.

Oh, c'mon, you guys do not fondle each other, we girls do, although.

We love to go to the bathroom in groups, or at least in pairs, you prefer to do it alone.

The bed thing is the lesser thing.

See, I don't get the bathroom thing though. I always go to the bathroom alone.

See, I don't get the bathroom thing though. I always go to the bathroom alone.

Me too. Even when I think it's two girls I feel like saying "ok, that's weird"...

Edit: I'm a guy.

Hehe... too bad you're not in Ireland, though...

Too bad indeed.

Meh, I'm no beauty queen either. What's that got to do with it? ;)

You hush! I've seen pictures. You, sweetness, are an alluring example of feminine pulchritude of the highest order.

It must have been a crappy establishment that compelled you to share beds, but that's something of a tangent.

I must confess, assuming Chandelier's between 14 and 17, I wouldn't have shared a bed at that age. I cannot articulate with any great accuracy or eloquence why, I simply would not have been comfortable doing so.

Well, those were my high school years, and I spent at least a dozen nights a year for three years on various choir tours four to a room with two queen beds in them. It's weird the first time, but you get used to it easily.

Which reminds me of a joke. A fellow called his organ "Dick Cheney", for various reasons he said, like "spends most of the time in an undisclosed location", but the #1 reason: accidentally shot a friend in the face once!

Laughed. My. Ass. Off.

Besides the fact that its...well...gay!, I go along with the statement that men are pigs :P

Men fart in bed, they smell and are all hairy!!!!

And everyone knows women dont fart, smell like flowers 24/7 and the only hair you will find on them is either trimmed or dyed :p

I've shared a tent with outher guys, I could live with sharing a bed.

I was wondering... What do straight girls think about sharing the bed with a non-straight girl?

One thing I noticed while I was away at State Latin Forum was that, although the idea of having four students in a room with two beds is for two students to share each bed, the guys in our group didn't like this idea and it ended up being one in each bed, one on the floor, and one in a chair. This was true even though two of the guys are brothers. But none of the girls had any trouble sharing a bed with another girl. The main problem in our room was just whether to have the air conditioner make the room cold or leave the room warm, but sharing the beds was never an issue.

My brothers said vaguely that "It's different for guys". Apparently even brothers can't share a bed with each other. They have no problem, however, if my family is staying at a hotel in one room and they have to share a bed with me.

Why is this? Is this common in other guys too or is this something unusual to the four guys mentioned? Is it a fear of "seeming gay" that is more present in guys than in girls? Or is it something else?

Hmm, I think some guys have a fear of "seeming gay".

I don't mind sharing a bed with a guy or a girl, as long as I'm friends with them.

Sidebar... I find it more uncomfortable sharing a bed with a family member than a friend. I hate the whole "ewww" thing, but I'm like "ewww I don't want to share a bed with my mum!" Does anyone else think that?

I was wondering... What do straight girls think about sharing the bed with a non-straight girl?

It's no issue.

It's no issue.

Because all women are secretly bisexual.

Don't even bother denying it.

I was wondering... What do straight girls think about sharing the bed with a non-straight girl?

I've done so on several occasions. I've also shared beds with straight guys without it being remotely sexual. It's just not a big deal.

I've done so on several occasions. I've also shared beds with straight guys without it being remotely sexual. It's just not a big deal.

Totally isn't.

Because all women are secretly bisexual.

Don't even bother denying it.

Another theory goes that ALL people are bisexual in principle.

Meh I dunno, I can't say this has ever happend to me, I have no problems sharing a bed.
The apnea pretty much rules out any close couplings with people outside of certain circumstance, as far as sleep goes.
I've slept in a tub before, and i've slept in a bed with a few women and a few dudes before. *shrug*
Just wasn't much sleep to be had.

Hmm, I think some guys have a fear of "seeming gay".
That's where the 3-feet-apart rule comes in.
http://blog.pennlive.com/patriotnewssports/2007/10/hug.jpg

I don't mind sharing a bed with a guy or a girl, as long as I'm friends with them.Friend? *winks emphatically*
http://www.websmileys.com/sm/love/1468.gif

Sidebar... I find it more uncomfortable sharing a bed with a family member than a friend. I hate the whole "ewww" thing, but I'm like "ewww I don't want to share a bed with my mum!" Does anyone else think that?
Since i have a difficult time sleeping as it is, people are usually chased away from attempting to do so in the first place, including family members. But it's been such a LONG time since the family members were an issue, i really don't even remember. I'm pretty sure i'm not interested at this point, though :p

Because all women are secretly bisexual.

Don't even bother denying it.

I think it's just that a lot of women seem more comfortable with their sexuality, and women are (typically seen as) more nurturing/welcoming/sociable, therefore it might be more natural for a woman to welcome someone else into her bed, whereas men are (typically seen as) proud/solitary/requiring-space so perhaps men like to have a bed to themselves. It's just a thought.

Guys were always uncomfortable with it, but on band trips and stuff, a lot of times if it was that much of an issue, one guy would sleep under the sheets and the covers, and the other would sleep just under the covers. It becomes less of an issue in college.

I've done so on several occasions. I've also shared beds with straight guys without it being remotely sexual. It's just not a big deal.

Sharing a bed with Poli isn't a big deal? You lie!




:p

I have no desire to share a bed with anyone other than my wife. Hell, I don't even like sharing a room with others.

Would rather sleep on the floor than share with a male or female friend (I think it would be just as awkward for either sex). I don't *need* a bed and I like a bit of space.

Would rather sleep on the floor than share with a male or female friend (I think it would be just as awkward for either sex). I don't *need* a bed and I like a bit of space.

But, but... it's so cold all alone in here! *snuggles up to Kanabia, all puppy-eyed*

<snip> I'm like "ewww I don't want to share a bed with my mum!" Does anyone else think that?

Depends, what does your mom look like?
:D

Depends, what does your mom look like?
:D

Dude...

Depends, what does your mom look like?
:D

I was waiting for someone to say that...:rolleyes:

Dude...

I was waiting for someone to say that...:rolleyes:

http://i236.photobucket.com/albums/ff315/Sarothai/Smileys/Dziekuje.gif

One thing I noticed while I was away at State Latin Forum was that, although the idea of having four students in a room with two beds is for two students to share each bed, the guys in our group didn't like this idea and it ended up being one in each bed, one on the floor, and one in a chair. This was true even though two of the guys are brothers. But none of the girls had any trouble sharing a bed with another girl. The main problem in our room was just whether to have the air conditioner make the room cold or leave the room warm, but sharing the beds was never an issue.

My brothers said vaguely that "It's different for guys". Apparently even brothers can't share a bed with each other. They have no problem, however, if my family is staying at a hotel in one room and they have to share a bed with me.

Why is this? Is this common in other guys too or is this something unusual to the four guys mentioned? Is it a fear of "seeming gay" that is more present in guys than in girls? Or is it something else?


Probably because guys know what the other guys are likely to be doing in that bed throughout the night and would like to be at least several feet away, and not sharing the same set of sheets.

I'm a girl and I'm happy to share my bed. People are less than happy to get in though, since no matter how big the bed is, I'll sleep right in the middle and cocoon myself in the covers :D

So why did the female floor have individual showers? Was there something strange about two or three girls taking a shower together?
My school had individual showers for girls, because there was no way in hell we were getting naked in front of each other. There was no issue with being seen as lesbians, it was more the fact that we were all horrendously self-conscious and didn't want to show off our wobbly bits.

I think it's just that a lot of women seem more comfortable with their sexuality,
I don't know about that. Due to the overwhelming self-consciousness which makes me think women are rather insecure in that regard. But I generalize.
and women are (typically seen as) more nurturing/welcoming/sociable, therefore it might be more natural for a woman to welcome someone else into her bed, whereas men are (typically seen as) proud/solitary/requiring-space so perhaps men like to have a bed to themselves. It's just a thought.
I'll keep that in mind. ;)

One thing I noticed while I was away at State Latin Forum was that, although the idea of having four students in a room with two beds is for two students to share each bed, the guys in our group didn't like this idea and it ended up being one in each bed, one on the floor, and one in a chair. This was true even though two of the guys are brothers. But none of the girls had any trouble sharing a bed with another girl. The main problem in our room was just whether to have the air conditioner make the room cold or leave the room warm, but sharing the beds was never an issue.

My brothers said vaguely that "It's different for guys". Apparently even brothers can't share a bed with each other. They have no problem, however, if my family is staying at a hotel in one room and they have to share a bed with me.

Why is this? Is this common in other guys too or is this something unusual to the four guys mentioned? Is it a fear of "seeming gay" that is more present in guys than in girls? Or is it something else?

hey if i know the person well enough what do i care if i share a bed? its better than the floor after all. hell maybe even if i DON'T know the person well, STILL better then the floor. :D