NationStates Jolt Archive

No, it's not another spam thread (yet)... but, stumbled across this one today...

A TORTOISE whose owner claims it is addicted to smoking can apparently finish a cigarette in four minutes.

Owner Li Yun from the town of Kouqian in Yongji county, said his pet was addicted to cigarettes after it started smoking smouldering butts he left lying around his garden.

He said the animal is now addicted and he has timed it smoking a cigarette in four minutes, and gets upset if he can’t smoke half a pack a day.

He said: “Whenever I smoke the tortoise lifts its head out of the water and stares at the cigarette. If I don’t let it smoke, it swims around crazily in its little pond, scratching the sides.

“The tortoise won’t stop until I give it a cigarette and it bites the butt, and you can see the tip glowing. Within four minutes the cigarette is gone.”

Tang Jingwen, deputy secretary-general of the Jilin City Animal Protection Association, said they wanted to contact Yun over his claims.

He said: “If the tortoise smokes voluntarily there is little we can do, but we want him to stop making it public.”

From the sun.co.uk: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article981431.ece With pictures
Or the couriermail.com.au: http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,23466451-5013016,00.html


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So, horrific animal cruelty? Darwinism in practice? Humorous April fools joke? Proof of the existence of the actual dog? What is your take?

See, tortoises are another lazy animal that just sort of hang around doing very little, and we let them, we feed them, we provide them cigarettes for free.

Goldfish, what is the point of their existence?

Like the eye of Mordor my focus is shifting to these hobbit animals, living their free and easy lives and I'm thinking they need a little more structure, a little more earning of their lives.

*ponders*

we provide them cigarettes for free.

Yeah... half pack day.Thats $6 a day... That tortoise is smoking it's way through about $1800 of cigarettes a year...
(In Australian terms)

He said: “If the tortoise smokes voluntarily there is little we can do, but we want him to stop making it public.”

:D

Hell, just proves that Nicotine works for all species...

And if the Tortoise wants to smoke let him smoke, who gives people the right to stop him from smoking, its his body, lol...;)

But think of the poor tortoise children!

Can't say I blame it at all.

I smell LG's dirty work, and no I mean he is the one who got the tortoise smoking and not that LG planted a pie bomb somewhere near my residence.

No, it's not another spam thread (yet)... but, stumbled across this one today...



From the sun.co.uk: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article981431.ece With pictures
Or the couriermail.com.au: http://www.news.com.au/couriermail/story/0,23739,23466451-5013016,00.html


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So, horrific animal cruelty? Darwinism in practice? Humorous April fools joke? Proof of the existence of the actual dog? What is your take?

It's not a tortoise.

Whats next? Crack dealing chimps?

... and not that LG planted a pie bomb somewhere near my residence.

Anybody could have planted that pie bomb with the hair trigger that nearly went off on me when I...

...shit.

*tosses a pie bomb and escapes in the confusion*

It's not a tortoise.

It's Ron Paul.

It's Ron Paul.

LOL

It's Ron Paul.

So much for his "Lovalution". Now we see that he really just wants to get us hooked on cigarettes.

Mr. Tortoise, how many licks does it take to get to the chocolatey center of a tootsie pop?

Mr. Tortoise: "I don't know, but I can tell ya how many puffs it takes to foamy butt of a virginia slim *cough**cough* Why don't ya ask Mr. Owl, you little brat?!? I need a smoke!"