NationStates Jolt Archive

Well look on the bright side, she now has a new anus. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,339270,00.html


Does this make her a rich asshole? Sorry i couldnt resist.

Maybe if the doctor's had pulled their heads out of their asses, this women wouldn't have gotten a new ass.

Really people, you're not meant to take the phrase 'tear someone a new asshole' literally.

so did the other patient Shit him/herself after finding out she/he got a leg operation instead?

Wow. Talk about getting your ass handed to you. That's rough.

so did the other patient Shit him/herself after finding out she/he got a leg operation instead?

Not without their new asshole they didn't.

Wow. I'm up to my ass in ass jokes. :p

Wow. I'm up to my ass in ass jokes. :p

*applause*

Take a bowel!

Seriously, folks, do you think that these ass jokes could be sorted through by process of elimination?

I've got to say these shitty jokes really stink.





On topic, at least they didn't amputate an incorrect limb.

*applause*

Take a bowel!

Seriously, folks, do you think that these ass jokes could be sorted through by process of elimination?

as a whole, they should be voided.

Oh my God! This story has too much potential for innuendo! It's broken the frickin' scale!

I mean look at this thing!

(No Innuendo) I - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - I + (Borked)

And what idiot wakes up in the morning, goes to work and says "This woman needs a leg operation. Why don't we give her a new anus while we're at it!"

I mean I know it's a mixup and all but JESUS!

*insert anus related pun here*

*insert anus related pun here*

Bah, you can take your puns and shove em up your ass.

Well look on the bright side, she now has a new anus. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,339270,00.html


Does this make her a rich asshole? Sorry i couldnt resist.

At least she won't have to worry about the old saying, "Never trust a fart."

BTW: It's most appropriate that it's IF who's starting a thread on this subject ;)

I for one blame socialized medicine.





I was being sarcastic, don't kill me please.

*insert anus related pun here*

If you don't have your pun prepared already, you'll have to go to the rear!

Wow. I'm up to my ass in ass jokes. :p.
That's using your ass!

*surprised no one did the ol' "IT'S FOX NEWS SO IT CAN'T BE REAL!!!!111!!!" bit yet.*

Stop with all the assinine puns.

Why would the entire surgical team get in trouble?

You come in and the boss tells you perform an operation and you do it, I doubt that all of them are supposed to double check that they haven't gotten the wrong paperwork or whatever.

Though, wouldn't this woman have consulted once with at least one of the doctors before the operation, if not numerous times like here?

That's kind of weird that they would do an operation and the doctor wouldn't remember the woman or what she wanted.

*surprised no one did the ol' "IT'S FOX NEWS SO IT CAN'T BE REAL!!!!111!!!" bit yet.*

No need to. If there's a whiff of anus about it, FOX fits in there just fine.

Wow. Talk about getting your ass handed to you. That's rough.

ROFLMAO!

Stop with all the assinine puns.

Why don't you butt out? :D

*insert anus related pun here*

If you can't think of a pun, you might as well just bowel out gracefully.

If you can't think of a pun, you might as well just bowel out gracefully.

Yeah, or else we'll make you the butt of our jokes, and you'll look like an ass. ;)

Yuck....

If you can't think of a pun, you might as well just bowel out gracefully.

Well sometimes, the jokes people make are just shit. I mean they are just plain shit heads. Of course other people may make colorful jokes that just end up making them look like real assholes. However, the fun part is when they don't recognize that they are assholes, and then they are labeled asshats. Speaking of asshats, why would anyone want their ass hairs on top of their balding hair? I'd rather have balding hair than ass hair on the top of my head.

:D

Speaking of asshats, why would anyone want their ass hairs on top of their balding hair? I'd rather have balding hair than ass hair on the top of my head.

:D
Ask TSI

Yuck....

Indeed. No ifs, ands, or butts about that. :)

Don't quit on me now. I'm sure we can find an Opening for a few more puns.

Don't quit on me now. I'm sure we can find an Opening for a few more puns.

Meh, I think we're at the tail-end of the puns. No one really had a leg to stand on anyway.

Interestingly, there is a large group of women who opt for the elective, supposedly cosmetic operation of having an inflamed, enlarged anus grafted onto their mouths by means of collagen injection.

Meh, I think we're at the tail-end of the puns. No one really had a leg to stand on anyway.

Oh, you've gotta be shitting me...

Oh, you've gotta be shitting me...

I shit you not.

I shit you not.

Butt I thought you were shitting me.

Meh, I think we're at the tail-end of the puns. No one really had a leg to stand on anyway.

Nah, there's probably still a few people that feel like flagging down the anus vendor, if you catch my drift.

Nah, there's probably still a few people that feel like flagging down the anus vendor, if you catch my drift.

We've run out of puns. The hole lot of 'em.

We've run out of puns. The hole lot of 'em.

Please. Here on NSG everyone always talks out their ass. There will be no end of puns.

Please. Here on NSG everyone talks out their ass.

Oh, you're so full of shit.

Oh, you're so full of shit.

No shit, Sherlock.

Oh, you're so full of shit.

And your opinion doesn't mean shit.

Is it just me, or have all the puns gone to crap?

And your opinion doesn't mean shit.

Is it just me, or have all the puns gone to crap?

Please, I think we all knew from the moment we clicked the link that this thread was just one big turd.

Please, I think we all knew from the moment we clicked the link that this thread was just one big turd.

Too bad we dumped all this time into it.

Should we flush this out of our system?

Too bad we dumped all this time into it.

Yeah, what a...waste.

Should we flush this out of our system?

I don't give a shit.

Holy Shit!

That sucks! You SHOULD be able to ASSume that your doctors will do the right operation. This is really an asinine situation.

That sucks! You SHOULD be able to ASSume that your doctors will do the right operation. This is really an asinine situation.

Well, what can I say. Shit happens.

Well, what can I say. Shit happens.

Shit happened all over this thread.

Shit happened all over this thread.

And you missed most of it. Oh, poo.

The nice thing about having multiple exits is that now her butt is within fire safety code. *nod*

The nice thing about having multiple exits is that now her butt is within fire safety code. *nod*

I wonder what the maximum occupancy for her ass is?

I wonder what the maximum occupancy for her ass is?

You could rent it out for a high school reunion! :)

I heard that to make matters worse she was accidentaly given a male anus and now she needs to come in every year for a prostate exam too.

Why would the entire surgical team get in trouble?

Because they don't have a leg to stand on. :)

This one has IF and butts.

Haha. I just pulled that one out of my ASS.

Those doctors are real assholes. Can you imagine the pain and suffering they caused? Think about it: cost of surgery, prep for surgery, finding out you have a new anus, and still not having a leg to stand on.


ohh...punctuation puns

Those doctors are real assholes. Can you imagine the pain and suffering they caused? Think about it: cost of surgery, prep for surgery, finding out you have a new anus, and still not having a leg to stand on.


ohh...punctuation puns

My, but aren't you cheeky today.
I'd say we're rather flushed with victory as well.
Perhaps 'tis time to wipe this out...

Q: What is the surgeon's favorite movie quote?
A: Bill Murray, Caddyshack: "It's in the hole! It's in the hole!" :cool:

If you don't have your pun prepared already, you'll have to go to the rear!

If you can't think of a pun, you might as well just bowel out gracefully.

Bah, you can take your puns and shove em up your ass.

AHHH! IT'S...TOO...MUCH!!!

http://i164.photobucket.com/albums/u6/nickclaw/HeadExplode.gif

This is the anthem of this thread:

We praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine

Respect the colorectal surgeon
It's a calling few would crave
Lift up your hands and join us
Let's all do the finger wave

When it comes to spreading joy
There are many techniques
Some spread joy to the world
And others just spread cheeks
Some may think the cardiologist
Is their best friend
But the colorectal surgeon knows...
He'll get you in the end!

Why be a colorectal surgeon?
It's one of those mysterious things.
Is it because in that profession
There are always openings?

When I first met a colorectal surgeon
He did not quite understand;
I said, "Hey nice to meet you
But do you mind? We don't shake hands."

He sailed right through medical school
Because he was a whiz
Oh but he never thought of psychology
Though he read passages.
A doctor he wanted to be
For golf he loved to play,
But this is not quite what he meant...
By eighteen holes a day!

Praise the colorectal surgeon
Misunderstood and much maligned
Slaving away in the heart of darkness
Working where the sun don't shine!

Because they don't have a leg to stand on. :)
and I bet she was really hopping mad.

but at least she won't kick the bucket anytime soon.

however, she really Knee'ed that leg operation.

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,339270,00.html
Fox News is bi-assed.

Fox News is bi-assed.

While that's generally true, I don't think it matters here. It's not like there's much that needs to be analized here.

Fox News is bi-assed.

If the woman got a new anus, I guess she is too.

If the woman got a new anus, I guess she is too.

ROFLMAO!!!!

Damn, that made me laugh my ass off. :D

Oh, dear lord! 2 anuses now?:eek:

Oh, dear lord! 2 anuses now?:eek:

Yep. She didn't get the surgery she assked for.

Yep. She didn't get the surgery she assked for.

Look at it on the bright side. With 2 butt-holes, she´ll never suffer from constipation again.:D

Look at it on the bright side. With 2 butt-holes, she´ll never suffer from constipation again.:D

And with only one leg, she'll never have the runs either.:D

Fox News -- All the Shit That's Fit to Print.

And with only one leg, she'll never have the runs either.:D

:D

And with only one leg, she'll never have the runs either.:D

:D
All in all, she won with the surgery.
:D

as a whole, they should be voided.

Stop with all the assinine puns.

This will be my last pun attempt in this thread

:











No, that's it. Look back. The colon. Get it?

*surprised no one did the ol' "IT'S FOX NEWS SO IT CAN'T BE REAL!!!!111!!!" bit yet.*

Well, if there's one thing we all trust fox to do, it's give good coverage to assholes.



Too.

Damned.

Easy!

I don't give a shit.

Why do you got to be so anal about this?

:D
All in all, she won with the surgery.
:D

And with the right lawyer she could make an ass-load of money.

I've never seen something so assinine. Her year's definitely gone down the shitter.

And with the right lawyer she could make an ass-load of money.

ROFL!!

Gives new meaning to the term "going number 2" now doesn't it?

Gives new meaning to the term "going number 2" now doesn't it?

And to the term ¨anal¨ too. *nod*

Wow. Two operations and the surgeons wrecked 'em both.

Wow. Two operations and the surgeons wrecked 'em both.

*applauds*

And with the right lawyer she could make an ass-load of money.

A hole lot, that's for sure.

Interestingly, there is a large group of women who opt for the elective, supposedly cosmetic operation of having an inflamed, enlarged anus grafted onto their mouths by means of collagen injection.

LINKS!!

LINKS!!

Someone likes their porn really kinky.

Someone likes their porn really kinky.

There was a while back this telnet addie i'd frequent where a user could perform certain emotes and such, and in an argument i transformed a particular individuals' uvula into a clitoris and fist-humped their mouth. Immediately sprang to mind at mention of the anus graft. :p

There was a while back this telnet addie i'd frequent where a user could perform certain emotes and such, and in an argument i transformed a particular individuals' uvula into a clitoris and fist-humped their mouth. Immediately sprang to mind at mention of the anus graft. :p

... that was not needed to be known...

I do hope you did something about the teeth...

... that was not needed to be known...

I do hope you did something about the teeth...
Did i mention http://www.cbswords.com/images/UC1411.jpg ?
Better, i couldn't afford all the heavy metal, so it was a tinfoil version.

Did i mention http://www.cbswords.com/images/UC1411.jpg ?
Better, i couldn't afford all the heavy metal, so it was a tinfoil version.

oh.. a Mordor 'tickler' niiiiice... :p

Okay, this time it's mo' betta.

This will be my last pun attempt in this thread

:











No, that's it. Look back. The colon. Get it?

*surprised no one did the ol' "IT'S FOX NEWS SO IT CAN'T BE REAL!!!!111!!!" bit yet.*

Well, if there's one thing we all trust fox to do, it's give good coverage to assholes.



Too.

Damned.

Easy!

This will be my last pun attempt in this thread


No it isn't. Get your ass back down here.

I for one blame socialized medicine.




I was being sarcastic, don't kill me please.

I, for one, blame the doctor's anatomy instructor. Talk about a dumbass. If the chick were fat, I can dig the mixup. Otherwise..... :fluffle:

And to the term ¨anal¨ too. *nod* can you imagine what happens when she gets a really bad case of the runs now?

Wow. Two operations and the surgeons wrecked 'em both. reminds me of another doctor I read a long time ago...

Knee operation. he operated on the wrong knee.
the hospital then implimented a new procedure, the knee to be operated on would be marked.
He operated again, on a patient's wrong knee.
the Hospital modifed the procedure. Knee to be operated on will have 'Yes' written on it, and knee not to be operated on will have 'No' written on it.
Doc again operated on the wrong knee.
I can't remember the final ruling, but I do believe his tenure, Licence and diploma were revoked.

I, for one, blame the doctor's anatomy instructor. Talk about a dumbass. If the chick were fat, I can dig the mixup. Otherwise..... :fluffle:
actually, I blame their piss poor handwritting. after all, the Operation was correct, just done on the wrong patient.
so somewhere something written down was not read properly.

jeez. this hole mess gives a new meaning to the term "double penetration".

I wonder how hard this is to fix?

If we keep this up the MODs might move this thread to where the sun don't shine. :D

If we keep this up the MODs might move this thread to where the sun don't shine. :D

nah, they wouldn't be that asinine, not all mods are anal-retentive.

Rolling squid;13550506']nah, they wouldn't be that asinine, not all mods are anal-retentive.

You kidding me? The mods are assholes.

Filed under O.O Woman Goes for Leg Operation, Gets New Anus Instead

Oh. my. goodness, that's such a funny title!

oh.. a Mordor 'tickler' niiiiice... :pOnly the best. :)

can you imagine what happens when she gets a really bad case of the runs now?

:eek:
The Great Poo Flood. Epic!

Since i already had a new asshole id ask the doctors for a new belly and new biceps and new face so it all matches evenly and call it square. After all, you cant go walking around with a new asshole in an old body without having everyone stare. .Especialy with a bum leg and all.

http://entimg.msn.com/i/150/Movies/Actors3/JoanRivers_11753_150x200.jpg

Now, this woman must have not 2 but 3 or 4 buttholes plus a new nose, new eyes, new lips. She´s new all over and is probably close to turning 400 years. *nod*

You do realize that now that you've posted here, the thread is bound to be locked. How many threads we've both posted in have been locked, now?

You do realize that now that you've posted here, the thread is bound to be locked. How many threads we've both posted in have been locked, now?

If you guys get my thread locked.....well you'll both be assholes of course.

If you guys get my thread locked.....well you'll both be assholes of course.

I'll do my best to keep it clean.

You do realize that now that you've posted here, the thread is bound to be locked. How many threads we've both posted in have been locked, now?

Excuse me, but I´m not trying to get anyone´s thread close. But if you fear that, stop posting.

Excuse me, but I´m not trying to get anyone´s thread close. But if you fear that, stop posting.

Hey, I had little or nothing to do with the last one getting locked. Not my fault Ardchoille doesn't like the idea of you with a vibrator. Must be gay or something.

In hindsight, the surgeons make a mistake, but is this enough to put them in arrears?

No it isn't. Get your ass back down here.

Sorry, but I can't top this one...

In hindsight, the surgeons make a mistake, but is this enough to put them in arrears?

[/threadpuns]

No need to be asshole--oh wait, we've done that one. Um... shit... nope did that too... Bowel out graceful--oh wait, I did that one. Um...

Oh sod it all...

ANAL FISSURES!

No need to be asshole--oh wait, we've done that one. Um... shit... nope did that too... Bowel out graceful--oh wait, I did that one. Um...

Oh sod it all...

ANAL FISSURES!

Yep, looks like we plundered all the booty out of this one. Time to find a new story of tragedy to ridicule into the crapper. :D

Well look on the bright side, she now has a new anus. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,339270,00.html


Does this make her a rich asshole? Sorry i couldnt resist.

This really isn't funny. This poor woman would be in pain from a surgery she didn't even need. This is terrible medical negligance. She deserves every dollar she gets.

No need to be asshole--oh wait, we've done that one. Um... shit... nope did that too... Bowel out graceful--oh wait, I did that one. Um...

Oh sod it all...

ANAL FISSURES!

My roommate last year had one of those. He had to go in for ass surgery, which we all thought was hilarious until he had to start taking suppositories, and then we shut up because we knew the karma from that could only end badly for us.

This really isn't funny. This poor woman would be in pain from a surgery she didn't even need. This is terrible medical negligance. She deserves every dollar she gets.

Did anyone here deny that? Nope. We're just having a bit of obvious fun at the expense of the idea, not the woman.

Did anyone here deny that? Nope. We're just having a bit of obvious fun at the expense of the idea, not the woman.I for one hope she has the intestinal fortitude to put the results of this operation behind her and have another crack at surgery.

I for one hope she has the intestinal fortitude to put the results of this operation behind her and have another crack at surgery.

*rolls around the floor, laughing*

I for one hope she has the intestinal fortitude to put the results of this operation behind her and have another crack at surgery.

*groans*
:D

I for one hope she has the intestinal fortitude to put the results of this operation behind her and have another crack at surgery.

*staggers*

He...got me. *collapses, dead*

http://forums.jolt.co.uk/showpost.php?p=13554105&postcount=55
Ohfortheloveof

So, does anyone think the surgeons will have enough moral fiber to look deep into her browneyes and apologize, or will this woman have to push and strain in order to get anything out of them?

Bizarre - I mean, I've seen these sorts of things reported before, person goes in for one thing but gets another however, you could in some way excuse the doctor in most cases - cuts off left arm when supposed to be the right, removes kidneys when should have been the liver or whatever....

How the fuck do you just make a new anus when it would be very difficult not to see the original anus right there, winking at you?

At no point did the surgeon think: wait a minute, there's a perfectly good anus right here, hold the drill nurses, I just want a second opinion...

Well anyway, back to puns...if they had to split the colon to service two anuses does that mean she has a semi-colon?