NationStates Jolt Archive

A crazy psychopath has given you the following decision:
Be slowly and brutally killed after your family and friends are slowly and brutally killed in front of you as you are forced to watch.
- OR -
Move to one of these Hellholes:
Iraq
North Korea
Somalia
Zimbabwe

I'll go with Somalia. I'm not sure why though.

Thank you, I'd prefer the death.

While there are strong employment opertunities in the DPRK for native NA English speakers such as myself, and Somalia has plenty of things to do, and Zimbabwe of course has the funny inflation.

I'd have to choose Iraq. Purely personal-interest and religious reasons. But Iraq none the less.

North Korea

North Korea, for sure.
If you could get past the initial xenophobia, you could probably get a pretty decent lifestyle going, if you didnt mind the censorship and the whole, you know, occasional police raids and living off the backs of a starving population of peasants.

OY! I forgot an option for those who choose the mass-killing.

I'd choose whichever one was the easiest to escape from.

Move to one of these Hellholes:
Iraq
North Korea
Somalia
Zimbabwe

Iraq thanks. Not starving has to be a major consideration.

North Korea would be my next choice, they'd probably train me up as a spy and send me back to the West. Failing that, I could keep my mouth shut and work in the hammer factory for a bowl of rice a day. Still beats dying.

Looking European as I do, I think I'd have a hard time in either Somalia or Zimbabwe. Dead or held hostage within a week I'm guessing.

And as to death (let alone the death of my family as well) ... if life in the chosen country was really that bad, suicide would remain an option.

North Korea would be my next choice, they'd probably train me up as a spy and send me back to the West. Failing that, I could keep my mouth shut and work in the hammer factory for a bowl of rice a day. Still beats dying.

In all seriousness, you'd be training their spies.
And staring as the ever American in their movies.

You'd be like the North Korean James Bond! A movie star and a spy!

There was a time several hundred years ago when the muslims honored and revered silliness. In Somalia, they might accuse me of witchcraft and cut my balls off with a machete. In Zimbabwe I'd be at risk of stealing some spotlight away from Mugabe and vanishing without a trace. North Korea? I suspect they haven't laughed in 60 years. I love a challenge, but that's just ridiculous.

I'll take my chances with Iraq. *nod*

In all seriousness, you'd be training their spies.
And staring as the ever American in their movies.

You'd be like the North Korean James Bond! A movie star and a spy!

Noooooo, please no! They'd give me one of those telescreens and send those scarey dancing girls around every day.

I just want to work in the candle factory. All I want is the bowl of rice and an abusive relationship with the manageress.

I'll take my chances with Iraq. *nod*

Maybe you can make the insurgents laugh to death. :p

Iraq. Kurdistan, here I come!

Either Kurdistan in Iraq or Zimbabwe would probably be safest, then Somaliland in Somalia. Ain't no way in hell I'm going to DPRK unless it's a secret mission to assassinate Jong-Il.

Zimbabwe ranked lower than any of the others in the UN's 2006 development index, so I'll pass on that one.

Iraq...well, I'd prefer not to move to a nation with such an uncertain future.

North Korea might be an option, but the chances of getting out are slim to none.

Somalia ain't pretty, but it does border both Ethiopia and Kenya, which offer better odds of survival and better opportunities for a decent life than most African nations, so I'll go with Somalia.

Move to Iraq. I'd arrive there and immediately head for the first Allied base. You never said I got citizenship, I'd just tell them that I'm Australian, get back home, and then eviscerate the fucker who started all this.

Somalia. It's a libertarian paradise! :p

I would ask friends and family for their recommendation, nodding wisely as though taking their opinions in full consideration...

...then I'd have the lot of them put to death.

Hopefully I'm in most of their wills as well, delicious.

I'll pick Zimbabwe. At least we all know that Robert Mugabe has to kick the bucket at some stage and die (he is 84). Once he is gone, then I could make my fortune in the copper trade and become some later day Cecil Rhodes.

i'd probably be fucking rich in most of those hellholes (on the assumption my stuff wasn't apprehended/stolen and i wasn't killed), so i choose that option. plus the other option is horrible

Iraq. We ARE still in there, aren't we? Yes? Good. I can get back to the US!

I'll pick Zimbabwe. At least we all know that Robert Mugabe has to kick the bucket at some stage and die (he is 84). Once he is gone, then I could make my fortune in the copper trade and become some later day Cecil Rhodes.

Zambia's the place with the copper. Zimbabwe has chrome.

North Korea or Sri Lanka.

America. Especially some of those rundown ghettos that people are supposed to 'live' in.

America. Especially some of those rundown ghettos that people are supposed to 'live' in.

Visit a favela in Rio de Janeiro or a slum in Lagos, and then tell me how 'rundown' American ghettos are.

Which one has darker, taller and more handsome men? :D

Which one has darker, taller and more handsome men? :D

Somalia?

Visit a favela in Rio de Janeiro or a slum in Lagos, and then tell me how 'rundown' American ghettos are.I think that's why he wants to live in an American ghetto.

Lansing, MI. Now, that's a Hellhole of immense proportions. I hated it there!

Somalia?

Hott.

Lansing, MI. Now, that's a Hellhole of immense proportions. I hated it there!
Hell, MI is more hellish.

Hell, MI is more hellish.

Yeah, MI is hellish indeed.

North Korea or Sri Lanka.

Most of Sri Lanka is actually quite nice.

Iraq. Kurdistan, here I come!

ill see you there!

sure we will screw them in the end but for right now, the kurds have set up a nice little zone that anyone (sent by a psychopath) would be happy to live in.

North Korea or Sri Lanka.

Southern Sri Lanka is a fab place. I wouldn't call the north a hellhole - dangerous yes, but no hell hole

Yeah, MI is hellish indeed.No, this place (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell_Michigan).

America. Especially some of those rundown ghettos that people are supposed to 'live' in.

You really don't play well with others, do you?

You were given five choices. In case you didn't notice, the thread is a game which invites a quite serious discussion of the relative merits of four countries which have bad reputations as places to live.

Breaking the rules of a game can be fun, even playful. The simple answer "the United States" might work that way ... but this ... doesn't.

Look, you socialist you. The inner-city poor of the United States don't qualify as "living" humans. That's a big fat LOSE even by your own rules.

Iraq is the obvious choice.

Economy perking up.

Large areas are peaceful and prosperous.

It's got INTERNET connections. uncensored!

Job opportunities.

Democracy.

Sure, there are parts I wouldn't go to, but same with most nations. The overall murder rate is lower than much of the third world.

Ottawa is a hellhole.... but if I can't pick it, then my second choice is Iraq. At least if I get really mad and lose everything I can always seduce those nice American troops then unleash a bomb. They will never suspect a thing. I speak Canadian English and I'm white so they will trust me... more than they do with other non-troops... hehehehe

No, this place (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hell_Michigan).

Oh my, what an appropriate name for a town!:D

Lansing, MI. Now, that's a Hellhole of immense proportions. I hated it there!

My feelings, so hurt. So hurt.

My feelings, so hurt. So hurt.

Sorry, but I did not had a good time in Lansing and I hated MI in general. So, I apologize if I hurt your feelings, but I was stating a truth for me. I didn't like MI, I didn't like Lansing one bit.

Probably North Korea, because I could train Dear Leaders spys being an Americn after all. Or I could just be one of his spies and defect.


Second might be Iraq. Id fake convert to Muslim and buddy to up one of the guys in charge of a big militia so I can have some protection.

The two African countries...well starving aint fun. All though if Im allowed to bring my money, with their inflation rates, using US currency I might be able to buy a few mercenaries and take over said countries...

Pick my poison eh?
I think Iraq would be the best of that list, purely because there's Allied forces in there.
After that perhaps Somalia, Then Zimbabwe, North Korea last because it's just a dictatorship and it's furthest from home.
I wouldn't stay in any of those countries, i'd try and find the first, ship, plane bus whatever outta there, failing that i'd make my own boats and sail all the way home, a few thousand miles but at least i'd lose some wieght.

There was a time several hundred years ago when the muslims honored and revered silliness. In Somalia, they might accuse me of witchcraft and cut my balls off with a machete. In Zimbabwe I'd be at risk of stealing some spotlight away from Mugabe and vanishing without a trace. North Korea? I suspect they haven't laughed in 60 years. I love a challenge, but that's just ridiculous.

I'll take my chances with Iraq. *nod*
Witchcraft was a crime in England until the 1950s or 60s.

I would ask friends and family for their recommendation, nodding wisely as though taking their opinions in full consideration...

...then I'd have the lot of them put to death.

Hopefully I'm in most of their wills as well, delicious.
You die directly after them...

Iraq is the obvious choice.

Economy perking up.

Large areas are peaceful and prosperous.

It's got INTERNET connections. uncensored!

Job opportunities.

Democracy.

Sure, there are parts I wouldn't go to, but same with most nations. The overall murder rate is lower than much of the third world.
Don't mind the lack of infrastructure, roving gangs, bombings, etc... Economy is not perking up. Only Kurdistan is prosperous. Job opportunities I'll give you since all their teachers and sch have left.

The two African countries...well starving aint fun. All though if Im allowed to bring my money, with their inflation rates, using US currency I might be able to buy a few mercenaries and take over said countries...
Hell yeah. That's what I'm talkin' about.

Pick my poison eh?
I think Iraq would be the best of that list, purely because there's Allied forces in there.
After that perhaps Somalia, Then Zimbabwe, North Korea last because it's just a dictatorship and it's furthest from home.
I wouldn't stay in any of those countries, i'd try and find the first, ship, plane bus whatever outta there, failing that i'd make my own boats and sail all the way home, a few thousand miles but at least i'd lose some wieght.
Apparently, I need to specify exactly the provisions of this rock and a hard place scenario: You cannot leave permanently.

Zimbabwe, because nothing but desert gets boring.

Apparently, I need to specify exactly the provisions of this rock and a hard place scenario: You cannot leave permanently.

Why can't i leave a certain country in your example? In real life i could, so i don't see what limiting factor could keep me there.

Why can't i leave a certain country in your example? In real life i could, so i don't see what limiting factor could keep me there.
Because then the first option activates.

Because then the first option activates.

you didn't say that in your OP.
Either you could move to another country or be brutally murdered, so you could still move back, i don't understand how the first option would activate.

Well anyway if i am wrong then i'd choose Iraq i suppose, i figure it's the least bad of the bunch, although not by much.

Iraq, because I'm white and pleasant enough to run the Pizza Hut in the Greenzone.

you didn't say that in your OP.
Either you could move to another country or be brutally murdered, so you could still move back, i don't understand how the first option would activate.

Well anyway if i am wrong then i'd choose Iraq i suppose, i figure it's the least bad of the bunch, although not by much.
It was implied, but you people are like Co$ lawyers finding every loophole.

A crazy psychopath has given you the following decision:
Be slowly and brutally killed after your family and friends are slowly and brutally killed in front of you as you are forced to watch.
- OR -
Move to one of these Hellholes:
Iraq
North Korea
Somalia
Zimbabwe

I'll go with Somalia. I'm not sure why though.

Iraq, I'd move to the nice part of Kurdistan.

Maybe make a time machine and go to Zimbabwe in 1970 or something.

It was implied, but you people are like Co$ lawyers finding every loophole.

well seeing as my life would be involved i think i'm entitled to find loopholes. still i did say Iraq was my choice.
Hmmm alternative career as a lawyer.
*ponders*
*recieves images of going insane with a double barrelled shotgun in a courtroom defending a wrongly accused convict*
maybe i would be better off not being a lawyer, just maybe.

Maybe make a time machine and go to Rhodesia in 1970 or something.
Fixed.

Hell, MI is more hellish.
It doesn't beat Deeetroit though!

Somalia looks enjoyable.

Somalia because you can do anything with money

and I figure I could make some by being a pirate or something

Be slowly and brutally killed after your family and friends are slowly and brutally killed in front of you as you are forced to watch.

He'd have to kill air. That'd be entertaining.

Naaa, not really. I'd just get Fred Fredburger (http://youtube.com/watch?v=-UewIlnDH_Y) to distract him with his awesome wit and intellect while I ran for it.

Iraq, because then I can hop over the border to my friend's family's place in Jordan.

Iraq, because then I can hop over the border to my friend's family's place in Jordan.
Illegal violation of the rules.

I'd go for North Korea, you're probably less likely to die there.

North Korea. I'd kiss up until I rose high enough in the ranks that the peasants were working for me and I didn't have to. Or I'd go to some agrarian area as a farmer, so what little food is produced, comes by me first.

And if I could get close enough to Jong-Il, I'd try for a regime change(TM). I've always wanted to be dictator of some place, and I'm not picky as to where!

North Korea. No question.

Choose my hellhole to live in? I choose Alabama.:D

Choose my hellhole to live in? I choose Alabama.:D

ROFL!

Bruges

Iraq.

I could then fake my death there, come back to the states and hunt down the psychopath who threatened my family and friends.

All with the help from my friends in the military.

Somalia, the libertarian paradise. At least they have internet there!

Iraq, hands down.

How is the DPRK bad exactly? It has some of lowest crime rates in the whole world, it has like zero litter and perfect social harmony, you have like % of getting affected by violent crime in the DPRK. You ivory tower liberals may whine about 'freedom', but you have no idea what freedom is anyone, not in any objective sense anyway. Freedom is terror and horror, and if anyone ever truly saw freedom they would take order over it any day.

How is the DPRK bad exactly? It has some of lowest crime rates in the whole world, it has like zero litter and perfect social harmony, you have like % of getting affected by violent crime in the DPRK. You ivory tower liberals may whine about 'freedom', but you have no idea what freedom is anyone, not in any objective sense anyway. Freedom is terror and horror, and if anyone ever truly saw freedom they would take order over it any day.

Yeah! Rights are for pussies.

Yeah! Rights are for pussies.

No, rights are for people who are intellectually immature and can't handle life without abstract words on a piece of paper to make them feel better.

No, rights are for people who are intellectually immature and can't handle life without abstract words on a piece of paper to make them feel better.

I can't say I share your views.

Iraq.

I could then fake my death there, come back to the states and hunt down the psychopath who threatened my family and friends.

All with the help from my friends in the military.
You people just can't play by the implied rules.... :headbang:

How is the DPRK bad exactly? It has some of lowest crime rates in the whole world, it has like zero litter and perfect social harmony, you have like % of getting affected by violent crime in the DPRK. You ivory tower liberals may whine about 'freedom', but you have no idea what freedom is anyone, not in any objective sense anyway. Freedom is terror and horror, and if anyone ever truly saw freedom they would take order over it any day.
I suppose if you have freedom it can be taken away. So if you don't have it, it can't be taken away. And if they don't know anything else, how can they want anything else?

You people just can't play by the implied rules.... :headbang:
how so... did I say I would move? yes
did I move? yes
now did I say I would stay where ever I moved to? no
did the supposed person tell me I had to stay there for any length of time? no

I played by all the rules presented. and met them all.

A crazy psychopath has given you the following decision:
Be slowly and brutally killed after your family and friends are slowly and brutally killed in front of you as you are forced to watch.
- OR -
Move to one of these Hellholes:
Iraq
North Korea
Somalia
Zimbabwe

I'll go with Somalia. I'm not sure why though.
no mention as to staying there w/o leaving.
no mention about coming back...
so I moved. I 'Died' there, and I came back for revenge. next?

how so... did I say I would move? yes
did I move? yes
now did I say I would stay where ever I moved to? no
did the supposed person tell me I had to stay there for any length of time? no

I played by all the rules presented. and met them all.


no mention as to staying there w/o leaving.
no mention about coming back...
so I moved. I 'Died' there, and I came back for revenge. next?
The point was that you either choose option 1 or option 2 (a-d). Not find some way to thwart option 2.

The point was that you either choose option 1 or option 2 (a-d). Not find some way to thwart option 2.

but I did choose. is it my fault that he chose an area where there is a high US Military presence? :p

North Korea - No to a soul-crushing dictatorship.
Zimbabwe - Starving, uh-uh.
Somalia - Anarchy, not if there's an alternative.
Iraq - It may be bad, but Iraq is better than the other choices. It isn't an oppressive dictatorship, but it has a functioning government and law enforcement. I'll just stay away from Baghdad. Basra or Kirkuk might be good.

Also, Iraq has the best chances for improvement within the next few years.

Zimbabwe, and a three-mile headstart to the South African border.

Iraq, so I can go to the US army and get back home.

[/evadequestion]

Iraq...it has a functioning government and law enforcement.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Sorry I couldn't stop laughing...

Also, Iraq has the best chances for improvement within the next few years.
Or not. Somali probably has a better chance. Maybe Zimbabwe if Mugabe dies soon.